Chapter 12: The Bells, they Ring
Hello hello, dear readers. Welcome back to another collab with this nerd. I take that with pride. I bet you do. Anyway...four hours I waited for this so let's not dawdle...Hey, you're the one that started messaging me WHILE I WAS IN THE SHOWER! 'Ladies, please, settle down.' Oh yea...almost forgot about you. Fine though, he ain't worth it. We could end this shit here and now if I ain't worth it. ...um...That's what I thought. On with the show!
It was a day like any other for Steven. He woke up, saw that his daughter and daughter-to-eventually-be were gone, and made breakfast for himself and his fiance. That, however, was off put by the fact that it was just days before his wedding and that he was getting a phone call much earlier than ever. Well, except for one other time, but he's still annoyed by that.
"Hello?" Steven asked.
"Hey is this the pizza guy?" The voice asked in turn.
"Tehg, I know your voice. Do you really want to do this?"
"Damnit...Thought it'd be long enough for you to forget my voice...Anyway, the wedding hasn't been called off right?"
"Wait, wedding?" A voice asked in the back.
"Shit, uh, sorry for not telling you Edgar…" Tehg says starting to panic a bit.
"Why would it be...? Is he the one from the hole?"
"Um, hello? Who is this?" A old voice calls out.
"My name is Steven. I'm assuming from what Tehg said that you're Edgar."
"Aye, that I am...Now can you explain what this wedding is about please as I believe I have been uninformed." He says calmly.
"That fucking...Ugh...He's an idiot. I told him he had two guests he could bring, and here I thought he'd tell them what he was inviting them to. I want to assume you know about Cynthia."
"Aye, I know of her."
"Well, about a year ago I proposed to her and she said yes, so...wedding…" Neither Tehg nor Edgar says anything for a minute.
"I see...I can also see why Alexis was hurting while talking about you." He says while chuckling.
"I'm glad I did it then instead of now still. It would've been that much worse. So, what can I do for you folks? 'Tia's still upstairs sleeping, but I don't think she'd mind being woken up for family."
"That isn't why we called." Tehg says, finally recovered. "We might need some help finding where we need to go, you know...different dimension and all that?"
"Ah, alright. That shouldn't be an issue, though I'm not sure I know the city as well as I used to." He replied. "'Tia's the better navigator of us, and my memory isn't the greatest."
"Ah, I see. Well I guess wake her up then?" Tehg says unsure of himself.
"Okay. One moment." The three on the end of the phone could hear the sounds of someone racing up stairs. "Hey, 'Tia. Wake up. I need your help with something."
"What is it?" She groaned, just loud enough for them to hear.
"Your brother, Alexis, and man named Edgar are here and need directions. They're on the phone right now."
"You didn't wake me up?"
"They didn't ask to talk to you. They just wanted to ask for directions and interrogate me about the wedding. I told them you do the whole navigation thing better."
"Fine, just...let me get dressed." She said after a minute of trying to fall back asleep.
"Cynthia, get your lazy ass down here!" Tehg shouts, hoping to be heard.
"Shut your mouth, you brat, I'm up." Cynthia grumbled. After a few minutes of cloth ruffling, she spoke back up. "Alright, let's go. You're getting me something on the way though."
"Yes dear." Steven replied to his fiance's demands. "We're on our way. Be there in a few. Bye." With a click he hung up and began walking, stopping at a local bakery for her breakfast. Ten minutes later the two entered the Basilicom's Sanctuary.
"Good morning." Cynthia greeted to everyone in the room.
"Hello, Cynthia, Steven." Histoire said in return.
"You're late." Tehg says whilst lying on a couch casually.
"And you're still annoying." She replied.
"You wound me, still it's my job to be annoying." Tehg says while giving a grin.
"Um, hey…" Alexis says shyly.
"Greetings, Steven. Hello Cynthia." Edgar says politely.
"You are taller than I expected. I didn't think I'd meet someone as tall as Johnny, given the average height here."
"That's the females that are small. You do have a point though."
"I've met guys here too. They're not short, but they aren't very tall either. Like Souji."
"He has a point there. They're both rather small, and you're rather big Edgar." Alexis comments.
"Where is everyone?" Steven asked. "Usually the rugrats are around."
"Irisviel insisted that they were taken to get their dresses. She said that the flower girls could not go without special ones." Histoire responded. "Plutia and Johnny went out on a Quest. Something about wanting to jog memories"
"Oh no. Oh no no no." Steven muttered. "This is bad for me."
"Oh yes it is…" Tehg says grumbling. "So, Steven, remember when my sister came to visit?"
"Yes. I'm assuming you're getting at the thing I can do now."
"Why the hell did you let Plutia near her…?"
"Oh. OH! That. Um...because I could? Also, she can be scary in the mornings."
"True...Still, don't you think she went just a bit too far by making her question her sexuality!?" Tehg questions him.
"Look, it happens. It could've happened without Plutie doing her thing. There's nothing wrong with that."
"Whatever...So what was you worried about with Plutia and Johnny?"
"Maid of Honor and Best Man respectively." Cynthia answered.
"Hehehehe. Shouldn't of told me that Cynthia...Where are they?"
"Worry about that later." Edgar stated. "We have somewhere we have to find."
"Ah, yes...you're right. We need directions to where the weddings happening...a chapel I'm presuming?"
"Actually, not quite." Steven said. "I'm not exactly sure what you'd call that room downstairs."
"Oh, that room Histoire never let me in whenever I visited." Tehg says whilst laughing nervously.
"It is reserved for ceremonies such as this. We would not like to ruin the venue for others, would we?" Histoire asked rhetorically.
"I'm surprised you have such a place here in the Basilicom. Things really are different." Edgar says in a semi quiet tone.
"Plutia, the first of the CPUs of this Planeptune, wanted it for such occasions. She enjoys when people are brought together, and it gives her an excuse to witness the proceedings."
"That sounds like her alright." Tehg comments.
"How do you know what Plutia is like?" Cynthia asks.
"I talked to her a few when I came to visit you."
"Oh. She never mentioned it."
"Huh, well doesn't matter much. Anyway, now that I know where I need to go, Imma go find Ploot and Johnny." Tehg says while running and jumping out the window.
"Our Histoire has tried to stop him from doing that...I apologise for him. Also, how high up are we?" Alexis asks no one in particular.
"High enough that I'll laugh when we find out his dumbass hurt himself." Steven replied. "We're in a tower, after all."
"It's a good thing I taught him how to fly whilst transformed then." Edgar says while smirking.
"Oh, he can too. Neat. Disappointing, but neat."
"S-since when could you fly!?" Alexis asks in surprise.
"I can using Thor's GCG and since I started getting creative with wind magic."
"And you never learned how to land." Cynthia commented afterwards.
"Why land when you can slam into something like a missle?"
"And break your bones in the process too?" Alexis asks/comments.
"Nope. Thor's contract makes me sturdy as hell. Or, more like an oak, given that he's also the god of oak trees." (I wish I was lying) (...)
"Ah, the Norse god...You know some lesser deities then?" Edgar asks.
"Edgar. Looks like you got out of your hole. Maybe my time'll come around then." Lucifer said, manifesting as his Astral Projection.
"Satan himself has greeted me? I am honoured." Edgar says sarcasm dripping from his voice. "So, what are you doing here, eh? Shouldn't you be locked away in your little bird cage?"
"It's Saturday. Me and the kid go out for beers tonight. Also came to give you a little advice, Pagan. The kid's about as protective of us as we are of him. Might be smart to watch what you say."
"Now why would I ever say anything to antagonize him or the rest of your merry band…? Still... Fine. I guess I'll take your advice to heart. I have my own problems to deal with."
"Okay then. We still on for tonight?"
"You aren't throwing him a bachelor party, Lucifer." Cynthia stated. "The one Johnny has planned will probably be bad enough. You'll just add property damage."
"Lucy, she has a point. You tend to get...rowdy." Steven added.
"When is he not rowdy?" Edgar asks while grumbling.
"You'd be surprised. Honestly, he can be patient as hell, no pun intended, when teaching things. Where are you three staying?" Steven asked, aiming to change the subject.
"Unless someone is willing to put us up with a place to stay until the weddings over with, probably a hotel or something...so nothing out the ordinary." Alexis answers.
"You can stay with us." Cynthia suggested.
"What about Monika? She gets anxious with a lot of people in small rooms, and most of ours are." Steven countered.
"She has Iri, she'll be alright, and after this week they'll probably be around more."
"Fair point. Do we have the room though? With the one room taken up for when we have kids, we've only got the one spare. I don't think we need to worry about Plutie popping by, but…"
"Plutia just offered to house us." Tehg says appearing out of nowhere. "So there's no need to worry about room."
"That's fine. Problem solved." Steven said, plopping onto a nearby couch.
"So have you had your bachelor party or is it going to be soon…?" Tehg asks unsure.
"Don't know, and don't really want one." He replied. "I mean, where do I go? I have beers with Satan and have had sex with my fiance as a girl. How do you top my already insane life?"
"Oh um...dammit you have a point there…" Tehg says thinking. "You could just have a drink with the guys? It doesn't have to top it."
"He already has drinks with the guys. They use his transforming to get free drinks regularly. Also, babe, dealing with you drunk isn't fun. You get all depressed." Cynthia stated.
"So...am I only one seeing this?" Tehg asks out of nowhere while patting where Cynthia's left ear should be.
"Ah, you're missing an ear, aren't you Cynthia? How did this happen?" Edgar asks with a worried look.
"I...don't like talking about it…" She muttered quietly.
"Trust me, from what I saw in that place, she'd be better off forgetting." Steven said.
"Very well, you have caught my attention with this 'place', however, time and place." Edgar says with a soft smile towards Cynthia.
"Thank you for understanding. I'll tell everyone...someday." Everyone nods as Tehg gives Cynthia a give to try and comfort her.
"Well this got depressing. Wanna go do something to cheer up?" Alexis offers.
"Have anything in mind? We've done a lot of the stuff around here, but it'd be fine because you guys haven't." Steven replied.
"Hmm, what do you guys recommend, not exactly from this dimension."
"We could always go poke the hornet's nest know as Blanc for the fun of it?" Tehg asks jokingly.
"There is a natural history museum that has recently opened. There is an exhibit dedicated to the things that the three of you have found over the years." Histoire stated.
"Why go to a museum when you could just ask someone who was around then?" Edgar asks rhetorically.
"Because it's the hard work humanity has put in to understand the world around them as well as what has come before." Steven responded.
"I guess that makes sense…"
"Sounds like a cool idea, though they are tad boring." Tehg says while plopping down on a sofa.
"Sounds fun." Alexis comments.
"I wonder what we'll see. We have found a lot." Cynthia laughed shortly after. "We really don't do anything else, do we?"
"Not really. It makes us more money than any of the Guilds Quests."
"You work for those heretics!?" Edgar shouts in anger.
"Heretics? The Guild works closely with the Basilicom and CPUs have authority over them." Histoire stated. "A response like that is not fitting for the Guild of this world." Edgar regains his composure and coughs a few times.
"I apologise. I was out of line." He says begrudgingly.
"Your apology is accepted, though I would like to insist that you remember that this not the world you created." The fairy said, pressing the matter.
"How do you...nevermind..It matters not." Edgar starts but stops. "But you are right, again I apologise."
"Why don't we get going?" Cynthia said. "I'm going to call Monika and see if they want to join us with the children when they're done."
"Let us be off then." Edgar says, wanting to be gone ASAP.
The walk was tranquil, the three taking in the sights as the two natives talked about the different areas they passed.
"It's, uh, bigger than I thought it'd be." Steven stated, looking at the several story tall building.
"Oh boy, that's one big building." Tehg says looking up towards the roof.
"The architect needs praising for his work!" Edgar says joyfully.
"You sure it looks good, I mean…" Alexis says unsure.
"So we heading in or not?" Tehg asks towards his guides.
"Of course." Cynthia said. When the group entered through the door, Tehg was greeted to a small child's head to the diaphragm.
"Oh fu-oh small child...dammit can't swear. Why with the head butts?" Tehg complains before falling to the ground and cries to himself.
"Peashy…" Monika growled. "What have I told you about that?"
"Sowwy…" The 2 year old child responded.
"Hi Monika...ow the pain...I see the light!" Tehg mutters at the end.
"Good, go to it. That's what you get for fueling Johnny and Plutie's fire."
"That was then, this is now...oh god the pain! How can a kid hurt me so much!?" Tehg screams to the heavens.
"The diaphragm is a thin muscle littered with nerves." Steven responded, with Iri nodding in agreement.
"You can stop pretending now Tehg…" Alexis comments.
"Fiiine. Was getting old anyway. So how ya doing Monika, Irisviel…huh...First Medb, now you. What do ya know?" Tehg says whilst getting up.
"Do you know me?" Iri asked, Iffy's hand in hers.
"Uh...sh-long story." Tehg says panicking a little. "Um, I heard about you from Steven?" He more questions than answers.
"Oh, okay then!" She replied cheerfully. "I was hoping you'd be able to help me with my memory, but I'm starting to think I'm fine without them."
"You have amnesia?"
"It's an effect of her summoning. I touched a pre-drawn circle on accident, so it wasn't done right."
"I summoned Medb by accident and she still has her memories...There could be another reason for it all..." Tehg says while theorising. "Oh. Uh let's carry on." The now much larger group paid for their tickets, getting a discount due to the two contributors to the new exhibit.
"Ooh! Look!" Compa cheered, looking at a red gem within the geology section of the museum.
"Look. look! It's pretty-I mean, it's cool...yea." Alexis says going a bit red with embarrassment.
"You've been stuck in that form for two months now, you don't have to hold back." Edgar says to the girls chagrin.
"Stuck? Didn't you say you did a werewolf thing with your man-self when I was over with you guys?" Steven asked.
"Well, after you left the god that made me like this decided it'd be funny to leave me in this form permanently." Alexis explains.
"I don't think you should tell her." Cynthia whispered.
"No. No I won't."
"Tell me what?" Alexis asks tilting her head.
"Nothing important. Mostly how you got the short end of the stick when it comes to gods." Steven replied. "A god of death is nicer than the one you deal with."
"Tell me about it. And I thought you had bad luck from what I heard."
"I do. Luckily, they picked me, and not the other way around."
"Yea luck- ooh shiny things." Alexis says being distracted by another exhibit and so she wanders off.
"Oh, that was close." Steven sighed, wiping off his brow.
"Why were you avoiding telling her something?" Iri asked.
"Well, if she, who was originally a he, learned that I could change at will between the two, I think there'd be a problem."
"He makes a fair point, not even I would know how she'd react." Tehg says walking over.
"Probably poorly." Monika says. "I know people well enough to know that she'll either become depressed or angry."
"You sound like you speak from experience." Tehg says.
"You know that I do, Tehg." Monika replied, a scowl actually forming on her face to the surprise of those who knew her well.
"Hmm..oh. OH! Sorry, sorta maybe kinda forgot?" He says hoping for forgiveness from her.
"Hmph." She huffed, moving on with her two children. (Phrasing~)
"I messed up, didn't I?"
"Yes, yes you did. These things happen though. You just need to make up with her." Edgar says. "You do know why she's angry, right?" He asks.
"Yes…" he responds as he gathers his resolve and follows after Monika.
"I have to say though, this is an amazing exhibit. Your job is to go out and collect stuff like this, correct?"
"Well, sort of. It's more of a justification to go about and do our thing." Cynthia responded. "It is pretty fun though."
"The ring I proposed to her with has the very first gem we found in it." Steven added.
"I take it it was done for sentimental reasons? Either way I just spotted some stuff I need to check out." He says starting to walking off.
"Um...everyone's gone…" Iri said to the two remaining adults.
"Wanna just wander?" Cynthia asked.
"We really don't have a choice in the matter, do we?" Steven countered. The various groups wandered for a few hours. Coincidentally (Not really) they all met up at the exhibit that used Steven and Cynthia's discoveries.
"So many shiny things." Alexis mutters seemingly in awe.
"Hey, I remember that! We found that in Artemis' temple." Steven said, pointing at the robot like backpack.
"That doesn't look like it's from the past…" Edgar comments.
"From Artemis', huh." Tehg says, studying the thing.
"Yeah. We were surprised by it too, but then realized that different civilizations develop at different speeds, and the one it came from could have reached that point before fading." Cynthia reported to the group.
"Makes sense. Through history, there are bound to be a lot of advanced civilisations that we are unaware of, no?" Edgar asks.
"More or less. Hey, Iri, there's a piece from the temple you were summoned at. It was from Hecate. That there is a piece of a pot or vase. They were used to record stories and display them for visitors." Steven explained.
"Reminds me of the Egyptians...not sure which is cooler though." Tehg says while thinking to himself.
"The Egyptians did their stuff on walls though. The pottery was mostly used by the Greeks and the Romans. Fitting, isn't it?" The older young man commented.
"Who are these Greeks and...actually, nevermind." Edgar started but went into deep thought afterwards.
"The Romans did that too?" Alexis asks, curios.
"Yup, though not nearly as often, given the rise of things like painting."
"Makes sense, so what else ya find?" Tehg asks starting to become interested.
"Let's see...We found that broken sword in Lucifer's temple. He said it was his before he fell, and the fact that scientists can't even prove that the metal is real kind of confirms it."
"The devil's sword? It's in quite a sorry state now." Edgar says.
"Looks like it would of been a cool sword to use." Tehg comments dejectedly.
"He said that when I'm using his GCG it's that sword before it was shattered. I'm surprised you two don't recognize some of the stuff in here." Steven said to Tehg and Alexis.
"Oh I do, but the stuff I don't is far more interesting." Tehg explains. "However it was fun exploring Dialga's temple."
"Oh yea, that was a trip...never again. No offence Steven but it isn't for me." Alexis says with an apologetic smile.
"That's fine. Honestly, I'm still surprised she puts up with me. Oh, see that mostly still intact spear over there?" Steven asked the group. "Apparently that's Gungnir, spear of Thor's father, Odin."
"Don't tempt me." Tehg says bluntly.
"The enchantments that made it so dangerous have worn off due to the separation of the deities from this world. Instead of always hitting true when thrown, it's just a really ornate spear."
"Still, don't tempt me." Tehg reiterated. "So how much more is in here anyway?"
"A bit, but nothing as spectacular." Cynthia said. "There's still the other side of the exhibit, after all."
"Let's check it out." Alexis says before rushing off.
"I guess we should follow her?" Edgar asks the group.
"She is fun to watch." Iri pointed out. "The kids seem to like her too, though I think it's because she shares their energy."
"She's normally quiet and reserved, I think ever since she became stuck like this she became a bit more open and energetic. It's nice to see to be honest." Tehg says.
"Ah, coping mechanisms, how you hide how we truly feel." Steven said with content sarcasm.
"Hm? What you getting at?"
"She's covering how she really feels with a mask of cheerfulness. Monika did the same for a while." Cynthia elaborated, explaining her husband-to-be's words.
"Thank you, hmm, this seem like a problem to solve later...fuck um I mean duck...yea, duck." Tehg complains to himself.
"Should we catch her? Maybe I could help." Monika suggested.
"I might take you up on that offer...actually on second thought yes, I'll go catch her, Edgar...you do some party tricks or something to keep them entertained." Tehg says as he dashes after her. Edgar just stares in the direction of where he left.
"Ok then." Edgar says sighing.
"Sounds like you need to come with me later for a beer." Steven said.
"Steven. No. You are not getting drunk with my grandfather days before our wedding."
"Can you really get drunk off of one beer?"
"Steven James Stanton!"
"No, not the mom voice!"
"Cynthia, if he wants to take me out for a drink...which honestly I'm two thousand years overdue for. Why can't he?" Edgar asks her.
"Because I'm a pyro, and things start burning with hellfire when I go too far. I don't know how much of that is me, and how much is Lucy trying to make a funny, but still. There are many bars I'm not allowed to anymore."
"Very well then, another time perhaps?"
"Sounds like a plan to me."
"Children. I'm surrounded by children in adult bodies." Cynthia grumbled, face in hand.
"You should lighten up." Iri suggested. "The happiest day of your life is only two days away, and you're winding yourself up too much."
"The spirit does have a point, though I do owe an apology for taking it too far." Edgar says lowering his head.
"It's okay. Like you said, Iri has a point. I do need to relax."
"I got her-ow! Not the face!" Tehg calls out dragging Alexis down the hall.
"Iri, do you have something for...that?" Cynthia asked, pointing to the thing that was likely to get them removed from the property.
"Get 'im!" IF cheered from Irisviel's side.
"Well this is disheartening. I said not the face!" Tehg complains getting punched in the face. The three children cheered at the act of physical violence, clearly influenced by the thoughts of those that take up permanent residence at the Basilicom. "Ok, that's enough. And throw!" He throws her towards the group after getting punched again, making him lose his patience.
"He is aware of where he is...right?" Edgar asks no one in particular.
"I don't think he cares right now." Monika observed. "I think it might be smart to distance ourselves from him."
"I'm fine Monika, just annoyed that SOMEONE...er guys, why are you leaving me? Guys!?" Tehg shouts before feeling a hand on his shoulder.
"Sir, come with us to the exit please." Someone with security written on their shirt says and waits to see if Tehg resists or not.
"Oh god damnit...fine." (1 down how many left to go.) and so Tehg was escorted out while the rest of the group explored the rest of the museum. Once that was done, the group left and saw Tehg on a bench, clearly waiting for them, but none too happy about the fact.
"So, have fun without me?" Tehg asks, not sounding too happy.
"I did!" The three kids cheered.
"You had fun looking at old rocks and stuff?"
"They were cool." IF responded.
"Good for you." Tehg says, moping.
"You can't complain when you got yourself kicked out." Edgar says bluntly.
"He's got a point." Monika pointed out.
"Oh shut it, I know...On another topic can we get moving? This bench isn't very comfortable." Tehg says, trying to move the conversation to another topic.
"Again, all your fault." Steven said. "But yeah, we can get going. It's around lunch time, anyway."
"Ooh, food sounds good. Know any good places?" Alexis asked.
"A couple. There's a couple diners and places like that." Cynthia replied.
"Sounds good, lead the way." Tehg and Alexis say in unison. The place they went was a hole-in-the-wall place close to the Basilicom. It wasn't really crowded, even with the time of day, which worked well in their favor.
"Nice atmosphere...Now do they have nice food, that's the question." Alexis says scanning a menu.
"Easy, now. I do share your question if its good or bad however." Edgar says slowly reading a menu.
"I like it. Monika and I come here for dates sometimes after work." Iri said, setting her menu down.
"You and Monika...Huh, never could of guessed." Alexis mutters.
"Two females? I really am behind the times…" Edgar says, sighing.
"Planeptune, from what I've learned from talking with Histoire and what we've found exploring, has always been on the liberal end of things." Steven explained.
"Doesn't surprise me with this kind of universe." Tehg says, suddenly speaking up, not looking up from his menu, however.
"Eh, I don't mind. They're happy, and that's all that matters." Cynthia said.
"Very true. So, this menu is surprisingly lacking." Alexis comments, putting said menu down and sighing disappointingly.
"I'm sorry, but it is the lunch menu." Monika said. "The fancy things that you're probably looking for is later today."
"Boo. I guess I know what I'll have then…."
"You still made up your mind, so why complain?" Tehg asks.
"Don't know."
"Children…" Edgar sighs. "So how is the salad from here?" Monika's face lit up at this.
"Oh, here, let me show you what I get." She moved to his side of the table and started pointing. "This one's really good. I'd like to try this one, but it has meat in it. That one's alright, but not as good as the others."
"Hmm, I see. Thanks for the advice."
"Why have a salad when you can eat meat?" Tehg asks. "No offence to you Monika...A salad is fine I guess?"
"What'll Medb say when she finds out you prefer meat?" Steven teased.
"Firstly, I'm not in that kind of relationship with her. Secondly, fu-uh...dammit."
"You're not? Then what was that about before we came over here?" Alexis says snidely.
"Oh, do share with the class." Steven says, lowering his voice to a rumbling bass.
"You know she forced herself onto me before IF curb stomped her off!" Tehg says to Alexis in an attempt to defend himself.
"Didn't look it to me." Alexis says with a smirk and Tehg just shuts up and slams his head onto the table.
"This is fun. I can see why Plutia likes this kind of thing." Monika comments, enjoying the secondhand revenge.
"Hey Monika, you're not gonna go all 'Just Monika' on us again?" Tehg asks with slight worry and immediately regrets what he says.
*Slap!* The girl in question reached across the table and firmly brought her hand across his face. "Don't you dare bring that up!" She growled.
"Okay, I deserve that. That was my bad, I apologise." Tehg says with little to no emotion.
"Yes, you do." Iri said, equally as mad. "You are very lucky we are in one of my favorite restaurants.",
"I'm just gonna go, probably for the best." Tehg says starting to stand up.
"A bit much, no?" Alexis asks.
"Trust me, the events he was hinting at were dark times for Monika, and is something that doesn't need to get dragged into the light." Steven explained. "Though, she does have a point about your reaction, Iri. That was a touch too far. Sit down, you can make up for it by paying the bill."
"If that's what you're saying then I guess…" Tehg says, sitting down. "So when is someone gonna take our order?"
"I've been waiting for your discussion to finish. Didn't want to eavesdrop." The waitress said, withdrawing her notepad from her apron. "What can I get you all?" After placing their orders, they talked very little, the overall mood of the group damped by the previous exchange. The only ones not affected were the three in booster seats having a blast. The food was better than expected for some, and just as expected for others. From their, they returned home, going about their lives until the big day.
"Oh, no. Man, I'm freaking out!" Steven said. "What if this was all a sham? What if I panic and run!? What if she doesn't show up? I wouldn't blame her, but still."
"G1. You need to calm the fuck down." Johnny said, already in his tuxedo. "You aren't gonna panic. I'm not letting you. I've spent too long on my speech to let you bolt. And there's no way she's gonna bolt."
"You're right about most of those. I'm still not happy with how much joy you're getting out of this."
"Just know if you bail I will hunt your ass down." Tehg says, totally non-threateningly.
"We are here for a reason, after all." Souji said. "Though, I am not entirely fond of the tuxedo."
"I was fine with you wearing the yukata, you know."
"I did not want to be out of place."
"Just saying. Also, Johnny, I know you want to, so all I'm gonna say is, don't leave a mark." Steven said, turning a cheek towards him. Without a word, he was knocked to the ground by a swift punch.
"There. Now we both feel better."
"I get why he needed that, but why does that relieve you of any ill thoughts?" Souji asked.
"He denied me of his bachelor party. I had so many plans for him."
"Plans I'm glad I didn't experience." Steven replied. "Now, one of you help me with this damn noose. Normally 'Tia helps me with these." He continued, struggling with his tie.
"Noose, really?" Tehg sighs. "Get over here." He did, and Tehg tied it for him. "There, that wasn't so bad, now was it?" Tehg asks with a knowing smile.
"I can't wait to get this damn thing off already." While this was happening, the bride was having her own share of issues.
"Do I look okay? I think I'm too big for it. What if he thinks I'm ugly now? We haven't really talked about it since it's happened, but I catch him looking at my ear…" Cynthia trailed off, rattling away her own worries.
"You look great, Cynthia." Plutia said softly. "I know Steven well enough by now that he wouldn't ever think that. He'd move heaven and earth for you. He's killed for you."
"I made that dress just for you. There's no way you're gonna look bad in it." Noire added.
"And we all know Dad doesn't mind your little belly." Monika continued.
"He is like a cat, isn't he." Plutia giggled. "I don't know how many times I've come over and found him sprawled out on top of you."
"Thanks. I needed the pep talk. Hey, Noire, could I get a little room up top here?" Cynthia said, putting her hands on her chest.
"If I do that, it's gonna fall off. You wanted a strapless dress."
"I know."
"It's almost time. Are you ready?" Plutia asked.
"Of course not, but I'm going anyways." As she said that, Edgar walked in, wearing a plain suit with a red tie.
"They are begging to line everyone up for the procession." He announced before leaving.
"No turning back, not like I'd want to." Cynthia whispered to herself, exiting with the other three girls in the room.
The ceremony was not all that grand. The CPUs that were not an active part were seated in the pews, alongside Irisviel, Alexis, Ragland, Dante, and, which was a surprise to the groom, the Merchant. There was also a few other people, like the old couple that ran the diner they went to at least once a week. Besides Ragland was a man in a leather jacket with his hood up, and next to Dante was a woman with a gun holstered to her leg. The man in question did not deem it necessary to change out of his regular outfit for the occasion, and got a dirty look from Steven because of it. The bride's maids, with their escorts of the groom's men, entered the hall after the flower girls. The three children that they had been watching grow tossed flowers anywhere and everywhere, enjoying themselves. IF was in between the other two, wearing a suit which contrasted the other two's dresses. After that was said and done, the music began to play, signalling all attending to stand, and the seven standing at the altar faced the door.
"Here she comes. Don't wuss out now. I was being serious about hunting you down." Tehg whispers towards Steven.
"It's a little late for that, anyways. Plus, why would I?" He replied as his fianc-no, wife, came into view. She is wearing a strapless white dress with a skirt that the man could only describe as floofy. The top was covered in a sequin design that looked like geometric shapes. "Holy shit…" She was being escorted in by her grandfather.
"Stop drooling like an idiot." Tehg comments with a quiet laugh at the end.
"I'm not. Just wondering about how lucky I am."
"Good response."
"Now would be a good time to stop talking. She's almost here." Souji said, bringing to attention that Cynthia had just been handed off.
"H-Hey..." Cynthia muttered, blushing and tail wagging ever so slightly.
"Hey...You look so beautiful." Steven said in response.
"Now that everyone is here, I think it's time to get started." Neptune said, chuckling. "Today there will be no dearly beloved, no betrothed, and no ancient rhyme of the married. Today there are no dead languages to solemnize vows that are very much alive and will remain so for a lifetime. Today promises become permanent and friends become family. However, this day is not about the words spoken or the rings exchanged, nor is it about grand pronouncements and recessional marches. This day – the day of Cynthia and Steven's wedding – is about love. One of my favorite authors once wrote, "If love is not all, then it is nothing: this principle, and its opposite, collide down all the years of my breathless tale." Cynthia and Steven, your breathless tale is about to begin. If love is not all, then it is nothing. Its opposite – If love is all, then it is everything – is going to be the basis for every aspect of your relationship. All you have to do is simply love one another and that love shows through in everything you do for one another, how you treat each other, in good times and bad, though, I don't think that'll be a problem for you. Love isn't just a word; it's an action. Love isn't something you say, it's something you do. Love is genuine, honest, and open, compassionate and kind, passionate and blind, love doesn't know space or time, nor look through jealous eyes. There are many different kinds of love, almost if not all of which are represented here today. There is romantic love, the love of parents and children, of brothers and sisters and family, and love among friends. Not only do Cynthia and Steven love one another romantically – and they do, you can see it in every look, every touch, every moment they're together – they also love one another as friends. In fact, they're best friends, constantly giggling and taunting and teasing and very plainly and obviously having fun together. That love and enjoyment of each other as best friends will sustain them through this marriage. In addition, the love collectively in this room, from friends and family, will help sustain and support the promises they make today. All of us here will help solidify this bond, as these two individuals are joined as husband and wife. This new journey will be at times richly rewarding and extremely difficult, but, most importantly, it will be a journey you take together. Marriage is much more than your signatures on a legal contract. You are promising, in front of all these people you love, that you want to be with each other and only each other for the rest of your lives, and that you will do everything in your power to honor the promises you are making here today. For their part, the people who love you will also do everything in their power to try to help you hold up your end of the bargain." After a pause, Neptune started talking again. "I'll have to thank Histy for writing that for me. I had something else written out, but she was having nothing of it. "You can't put a joke like that in your speech!" she yelled. It was funny, but looking back, she has a point. This is a serious moment for you two, so I think we should cut to the chase. If I remember correctly, at least one of you has written special vows." She said, pointing to Steven.
"Hehe...Alright. Cynthia, I've said it before and I'll say it again. You don't know just how much you mean to me. Before you, I was lost, thinking that I'd never get to see a day like this, except for when it was some other guy up where we are now. You changed my whole world, and I'd tear it apart if it meant I couldn't keep you safe. I love you to the moon and back, as cliche as that sounds, and I'll do whatever it takes to make sure we can live out the rest of our days happy and free."
"Steven, when we first met, you were a blushing, awkward guy with not much promise when it came to a fight. You didn't really look like much. But then, as we walked, and as we fought, I realized that you had something in you. A spark that drove you, at least a little, to just try and help in anyway you could. After that day in the ruins, when Noire and Neptune became CPUs, I new that you were someone that would lay down your life for anyone you cared about, and it hurt to know that. It hurt deep down in the center of my chest, knowing that this person that I'D come to care for, could leave me so easily. So, I kept you close, and found out exactly who you were. Sometimes, you grate on my nerves, but dammit I love you, weirdness and all, and wouldn't have it any other way."
"May I have the rings?" Neptune asked. Peashy and Compa came up and pulled the rings from their baskets. "Thank you." She handed Steven the ring for Cynthia, and Cynthia the matching one for her husband. In a uniform motion, the two slide them onto each other's left hand. "With these exchanged, there really is only one thing left to do. Stevie, do us all a favor and kiss her already."
"Gladl-Mmph!" He was cut off by his wife becoming impatient and speeding up the process. "Okay then…" From there, the group traveled to a park that they had reserved a pavilion at that was close to the newlywed's home. "I'm free of the monkey suit!" Steven cheered, pulling off his coat and tie.
"Look, the monkey shed its skin." Tehg sniggered.
"I'm glad I had made Noire make me a dress for this." Cynthia commented, twirling in a much shorter, freer dress.
"You look great and all, but why did you have to force me into a dress too?" Alexis asks with her face a deep red.
"Because you look good too."
"But it's way too short! How do you wear these sort of things?" Alexis asks pulling on the hem of the dresses skirt.
"You're doing it right now." Johnny chuckled. "It isn't that hard, see?"
"Then you wear one, masochist!" Alexis snapped.
"Who the fuck told you that?"
"Is now really the time for you two to be misbehaving?" Plutia asked, appearing behind the two. "We should be enjoying ourselves. Anyway, we'll be having the most fun tonight, won't we dear?"
"Oh, that we are, Plutie. That we are." Johnny chuckled.
"See! This is why I wanted you as my best man, Souji! You don't have the instinct to humiliate me at every turn!" Steven cried, falling at his friend's feet.
"I see no problems here."
"Why…? Why you do dis…?"
"Because it's fun."
"Oh, you guys ganging up on him? I'd ask to join in, but i already had my fun earlier with Johnny and Plutie, just waiting now." Tehg says chuckling at the scene. Eventually, after some chatter, everyone took their seats.
"I'm certain that this part is supposed to wait until later, but I think now is a good time to start the speeches." Plutia said, taking a hold of a microphone setup for her. "After all, laughing while we're eating may not be the best idea."
"Oh no." The bride and groom said at the same time.
"This should be fun." Iri said, before turning to keep Peashy in her chair.
"This should be most intriguing." Edgar says.
"Ladies first." Johnny said into his mic.
"Why thank you. Firstly, I'd like to say that I'm not apologizing. Cynthia is a good friend, though she can be a bit uptight sometimes, especially when it comes to my brother. Welcome to the family, by the way."
"No one told me about this!" Edgar says, somewhat angry.
"Oh, there's no need to be angry. This is supposed to be a festive day." The sadist responded. "Anyways, on to the more embarrassing stories. Like the time Stevie here was in a coma for a little bit. We'd peak in to see how he was doing, and she'd be there whining like a dog waiting for her master to come home." Cynthia became as red as her hair.
"I was hoping you'd never find out about that…" She muttered.
"Well, I think it's cute." Steven whispered back, giving her a quick kiss.
"Hm...Let's see...I really don't know how Stevie doesn't notice it, but she wags her tail and kicks in her sleep."
"That's where the bruises are coming from! I thought I was hitting myself!"
"Sometimes she stuffs her bra so that she's bigger than Noire." Plutie chuckled. "I though Blanc was the only one with that complex, but I've been wrong before. Enough of that though. I'm really happy for you, and I'm expecting nieces and nephews."
"My turn. Alright, fuckface, where to start? Let's start with the fact that you are, by far, the biggest klutz I've ever known. Who else can, in their life, get bit in the face by a dog, put their tooth through their lip, dig a hole in their leg using a step machine, get hit by a car, break six bones at once, and cut his finger open with electric hedge trimmers. And that's not even everything you told me before we were brought here. Don't think I haven't forgotten about you and Plutie during those nights. You can thank Cynthia for those stories, and the pictures."
"It was kind of cute."
"So, you saw this happening, and said nothing?"
"...Yes…"
"This nerd even managed to turn himself into a girl. How do you fail that hard? That was a fun month, watching the existential crisis."
"And you GOT to turn back…?" Alexis asked with a scowl on her face.
"It involved a shady deal with Loki that made it so I can't transform into anything else but my girl form using magic. Also, Loki, and that only happened because the goddess of magic beat his ass."
"Makes sense." Alexis says sighing.
"Can't say he doesn't know what he's doing though. Before it was all circuit boards and motors, but now he's going through places like the Raider of the Lost Ark. There's no way in hell you would find someone that would stick by someone like me as well as he has, with how short of a fuse he has. And boy is it short. About as short as Blanc."
"Oh how original, a Blanc joke." Tehg muttered. With the speeches done, the food was served. Seeing how it was at a park in summer, a barbeque was thought to be the best idea.
"These burgers are great. Should come over to this dimension for 'em more often." Tehg says full of glee while also stuffing his face with said burger.
"You need to calm down." Blanc said, nibbling on a hot dog next to Nepgear.
"Thats an image I won't be getting out of my head for a while." Tehg says maybe a tad bit to loud.
"My, what a naughty imagination you have." Vert said. "Though, I certainly see it too."
"Sh-you heard that?" Tehg asks, fear quite clear on his face.
"Yes I did, though I won't tell. I have somewhere to be, after all. I believe our DJ is beginning to prepare for the dancing, and I plan to show Noire a fun time once I can."
"Thanks, oh and have fun with the tsun queen."
"She's really not that bad, anymore." Vert replied rather solemnly before leaving.
"I still don't know why you insisted on cooking." Monika laughed as her father flipped another burger.
"There are two culinary things I enjoy. Baking and grilling. We don't exactly have a good place to grill, so I'm taking what I can get. I've also got Souji on standby for once I have to...ugh...dance."
"Who would have thought you'd be the party pooper." Alexis says with a grin.
"I don't like dancing, and it reminds me of darker days."
"Fine, be that way...So, can I get a hot dog? 'been standing here for like ten minutes."
"Oh, didn't notice. Sorry. Though, is it A hot dog, or MY hot dog?"
"...no need to rub it in."
"It's a reflex."
"Still a low blow." Alexis says while walking off without her food.
"I'm like the opposite of Johnny. I'm an asshole on accident, while he's one on purpose."
"You should still try to mind your words. They can be your downfall in the future." Edgar says walking over.
"I know. We've gone through spats before because I'm an idiot. Really makes me wish I was more careful when I was younger."
"I see, well I'd say don't dwell on the past and focus on the now and what you're currently doing.."
"I can't belittle myself and cook at the same time, you know." The married man replied, placing a burger on his grandfather-in-law's plate. "By the way, I was saying that because of all the concussions. Permanent brain damage, and all that jazz."
"Hmm, I can see what you mean now. Must be a pain though, no?"
"Occasional headaches and some memory issues on top of what you already know, but nothing too serious."
"That's good at least. Oh, by the way, I think there waiting on you to start the dancing." Edgar says pointing over to the dancefloor.
"I guess I can't keep procrastinating any longer. Alright, time to embarrass myself instead of someone doing it for me." Steven made his way to the area that was cleared, seeing the man in the hoodie and coat at the turntables. After a pained look crossed his face, his hands glided across the machine like he was born to do it.
"Ready?" Cynthia asked, pressing herself against him.
"For you...yeah." He replied, wrapping his arms around her and settling his face into the top of her head. The world was drowned out as the two moved together. "You know, Plutie brought up something kind of important."
"What's that?"
"We've never talked about kids."
"Oh. Yeah, we haven't. Later though. Now's not the time for that talk."
"True, true." Before they knew it, their first dance was up. "That wasn't too bad. Now you get to dance with your granddad."
"Uh...Do I?" Edgar asks from the sidelines, very uncomposed.
"The bride is supposed to dance with her father, but, you know…"
"I suppose I must then, I apologise in advance." Edgar walks over to Cynthia and takes Steven's place. As the next song starts up he already messes up, stepping on Cynthia's feet. "A quick confession must be made. I have no idea how to dance in the slightest."
"That's okay. You should see Monika. Give her some code, no problem. Give her something like this, and she'll freeze."
"Mom…" Said girl groaned, clearly not happy.
"I suppose you have a-sorry, what was I saying? Oh yes, you do have a point." The old man says. The dance continued like that until towards the end where Edgar somehow managed to not step on Cynthia's feet (amazingly). Once the formal stuff was finished, they moved on to the more...energetic...dancing.
"Come on…" Cynthia whined.
"No."
"Please?" She asked, tugging on her husband's sleeve.
"I really don't want to."
"And you need to make up with Alexis."
"The old man ratted me out! That son of a bitch!"
"Never asked me to keep it a secret!" The culprit shouted from the distance.
"Brocode!"
"I have no idea what this 'Brocode' is, so…"
"God dammit…" The contractor sighed, only to get the same response from all those he's contracted with: Which one? "All my hate. Fine, let's get this shit show rolling. Knowing my luck, I'm gonna break something." He walks over to where Alexis currently is and she looks at him with a confused look. "Come on." He said, extending his hand to her.
"What's your angle?" Alexis asks.
"Trying to get my foot out of my mouth, so to say."
"Very well then, I shall pity you and allow you to have one dance." Alexis says before breaking out into laugh. "So we dancing or not?" she asks while grabbing the hand that was held out.
"I apologize in advance."
"For what? I'm the one being forced to wear heels and its totally not my first time wearing them…"
"Did you not hear Johnny about me being clumsy? Those were all stories I told him, without exaggerating."
"Ooh...I best brace for impact then, just in case." Alexis says giggling.
"Good luck with that." He chuckled in turn. The two looked like they were flailing to the rest of the participants, until the inevitable happened. Steven tripped on something. With a loud crash, a speaker was destroyed by the man's body. "Stupid Thor and his stupid Asgard thing."
"Saw this coming." Tehg says laughing at the man. "I know I shouldn't be laughing...somebody help the klutz up."
"I've got him." Blanc said, hoisting him off of the pile. "How you don't get yourself killed on your excursions never ceases to amaze me."
"I think we can all agree to that." Vert added.
"You alright?" Alexis asks the man.
"Yeah, I'm good. My clothes, not so much."
"So how'd ya trip anyway?" Tehg asks before getting hit over the back of the head by Edgar. "Hey! I'm curios."
"Time and place...time and place." Edgar sighs.
"Nah, it's fine. Pretty sure it was my pants. They're a bit long since I changed into sneakers."
"You sure I didn't accidently trip you? I was kinda sloppy with my movements…" Alexis asks, worried.
"I felt my belt just holding my pants up. Trust me, that was all me."
"If you say so…" There were several more dances, even if half the sound system was demolished, and eventually it grew dark.
"So, we should really start heading back soon." Edgar mentions to Tehg and Alexis.
"Ah, yea...but we haven't had cake yet." Tehg responds with.
"It is about that time." Iri said. "We worked hard on that cake." Anyone who knew the Caster began to panic. Unless there was a professional nearby when it was made, that cake was bound to be a failure.
"Did you happen to make the cake on your own Irisviel?" Tehg asks nervously.
"No, I just frosted it. Nepgear and Neptune made it." Tehg sighs in relief as the cake is being starting to be served after Steven and Cynthia cut the first piece. It was a red velvet with a cream cheese frosting.
"Now if you will excuse me, there's cake to be had." Tehg says sliding his way over to the cake. After everyone enjoyed their cake, the attendees began to disperse, with those who help set up tearing everything down. Those from the other world bid their farewells before returning home, certainly telling everyone about what happened. The residents of the Stanton household fled said household after the newlyweds decided to finish with their wedding day traditions. Even their cat decided that they did not want to be around. They didn't care.
Well, what a note to end on, eh? 'Ew, I didn't need to know any of that.' Too bad, it happened. Yup. I mean, it's a thing that happens. The circle of life, and all that. 'I don't like the idea of my parents doing that!' You're not alone there...however what is done is done. No one likes the idea of their parents boning. No one. So, I need to give credit where credit is due. Neptune's speech thing was pulled from a website full of different wedding intros. Officiant eric was the website's name. Now that that's over I'm gonna go...sleep calls me, you do your thing. Tehg out, peace. See ya.