AN: Sorry it took so long readers. I had some serious writers block coupled with some work stuff. All is well. Here it is. Important conversations are had. I made myself laugh once or twice so I hope you laugh once or twice. I hope the two big conversations feel kind of awkward because they should. And I hope you generally enjoy it.
I have some more exciting (read: smutty) things for next chapter. I also think I'm going to maybe find a person(s) to talk through the life of this story with because I'm a little worried about getting stuck again. So. Know that I'm committed as long as you are. Enjoy. Review. Message me. Tell me what you like or hell, random facts about yourself. Whatever.
Santana is worried that this whole meeting the family so soon thing is going to throw Brittany. She doesn't want her to be nervous because honestly her brothers are going to love the blonde. She knows that. She also knows that Brittany doesn't seem to have the best familial interactions. She's just hoping that this doesn't stress Brittany out in any way. Just as she's thinking of words to say to comfort Brittany (even though she's not totally sure Brittany is actually uncomfortable) her phone goes off. She checks, it's an email. She opens the email and it's from the university.
"This is an email from the university emergency notification system. Please do not respond blah blah blah. The power is not due to be restored on campus until Saturday afternoon at the earliest, but possibly not till Sunday. The surrounding area can expect the same time frames." She doesn't know whether or not to be excited or annoyed. It's kind of cool, black outs. You have an excuse to not do homework, and she remembers her brothers trying to make them more fun when she was little. But then she looks over at Brittany.
If she wasn't anxious before, she is now. She hates the power outage. Something pretty amazing came from it last night but multiple days? That's… what will she do tonight? She has the awesome kit Santana made for her, but she's still anxious. She can feel the anxiety continuing to build the more that she thinks about it.
"Do you maybe want to stay over again tonight? Or I could stay at yours? Just so you're not alone or you have a roommate so you won't be alone I guess but if you'd like, whatever you want-"
"Can I please stay with you?" Brittany blurts out. The second Santana suggested it her anxiety began to ebb. Santana's eyes brighten. Brittany is glad and surprised but mostly just glad that Santana seems to want to spend as much time with her as she does the Latina.
"Absolutely B. We've got a few hours till we all meet for dinner. Anything you want to do?" Brittany thinks about it. She vaguely remembers Rachel saying that she was going home for the weekend. She wonders if she cleaned their fridge out before she left. Gross.
"I should maybe go back to my room for a bit and clean out the fridge. I'm sure everything is bad, or will be. And then I can grab some clothes and change for dinner. Oh and I have some games I could get and we could play them tomorrow if you want?" The idea of playing games in their pajamas excites Brittany. It's something she would have never done in her previous relationships but it's one of those things that always seemed like it could be great. Lazy mornings playing games.
"Ohhhh yeah gross fridges. I should probably check ours too. How about I drop you off, you get your stuff sorted out and then text me when you're done so I can pick you up before it gets dark again." Brittany got slightly distracted from what Santana had been saying because she was watching her lips move. They were just so pretty and she desperately wanted to kiss them. So she did. Santana is her girlfriend, random kissing is one of the perks she thinks to herself.
"Sounds good." She says as she pulls away leaving a slightly surprised but smiling Santana. The Latina blinks a few times and takes a second to recover before quickly turning her head and facing the steering wheel.
"Ok. Let's go." Brittany chuckles at Santana's stunned response. Santana drops Brittany off at her dorm and decides she has a couple of hours before she'll go back to pick up Brittany. She decides to drive around for a minute and survey the damage. There are a lot of trees down, and it unsettles her a little bit to think about how something invisible could push over something as solid as a big tree. But she's kind of glad it did, in a way, because if it hadn't she might not have seen Brittany again last night. And then they might not be girlfriends right now. And they wouldn't have done what they did last night.
She thought about how amazing it had felt. Physically for sure. But also it felt good in other ways. It felt good to know Brittany wanted to be touching her. It felt good to be totally accepted. It felt really good holding Brittany in her arms. Then she thought about how Brittany had stopped her before she came. She hadn't been touching the blonde for very long, could Brittany really not be able to orgasm? Like, does that happen? She turned towards home.
She pulled into the parking lot and put the car into park but left the car running and her phone on the charger so she could use the internet on her phone. She looked up "how long does it take a girl to orgasm?". She was overwhelmed by the results. So she thought she'd be more direct "how to make a girl orgasm?". That was even worse, and pretty much just porn. So she decided that maybe she'd go right to the source. Quinn has a vagina. And Santana knew she could talk to Quinn about everything, surely that included this.
She got out of the car and went inside. She heard Quinn humming in the kitchen. When Santana got into the kitchen she saw her cleaning out the fridge. "Hey I just came back to do that." Quinn turned around and offered her a smile as if to say 'thanks, but I've got it.'. "Hey Q. This is kind of embarrassing but could I maybe ask you for advice?"
Normally Quinn would have made fun of Santana, even if it was in a totally joking manner, but the vulnerability in her voice made Quinn feel like maybe this was important. "Is this about Brittany?"
"Yeah."
"Want to know how to ask her how to be your girlfriend?" Quinn smiled gently at her.
"No, I kind of…accidently on purpose did that already. But don't tell her I told you, she wanted to tell everyone together at dinner." Quinn raised an eyebrow in confusion but nodded.
"Ok. Well what is it then?"
"Have you ever uh had like uh an orgasm?" Santana ducked her head and Quinn coughed in surprise.
"What the hell? Where is this going?"
"Last night Brittany and I did stuff. And it was awesome. But then I" she took a deep breath. She might as well be as adult about this as possible. "then I fingered her and she didn't orgasm. So I was wondering if you had. Because I have some questions."
"Um. Congratulations first of all I think. Second sure I have. But I'm not totally sure what that has to do with Brittany."
"How long did it take you?"
"It's different for everyone San. How long were you… uh..touching her?" Quinn was blushing heavily.
"Less than ten minutes for sure."
"And you just stopped? Dumb ass it takes way longer than that usually." Quinn smacked her on the arm.
"No I didn't want to stop! Jesus Q!" She rubbed her upper arm where Quinn had smacked her. "She stopped me. She said she couldn't orgasm, and that she was broken." Santana divulged the last part of that with some hesitation. She knew everything Brittany had told Santana had been in secret. But she knew Quinn would never say anything and she didn't have anyone to talk to about this stuff.
"I thought you said she had a boyfriend before? Did they not ever sleep together?" Santana could feel her blood boiling.
"I guess he slept with her would be the better way to put it. Or, whatever. It's not my story to tell. But just know that he never cared about her and that he literally fucking used her as a sexual object Quinn. Just a fucking receptacle. She thinks he broke her." She clapped her hand over her mouth. She didn't mean to blow up like that. She hadn't meant to say any of that. But she was so angry that Brittany was still dealing with, maybe always would still deal with, the shitty lasting effects of that relationship.
Quinn gently took her forearm and pulled her hand away from her mouth. She had had no idea that Brittany had gone through any of that. She doesn't know her well, but she does know the dancer is incredibly sweet and clearly cares about Santana. Plus nobody should be treated that way. "It's ok San. It's between us. I will never tell her you told me anything. Ok so here's what I can tell you. Every single girl is different. Vaginas aren't universal, just like the girls they are attached to. Ok?" Santana nods, still mad at herself for telling Quinn what she had. "If Brittany thinks she's broken, it's probably just because nobody ever cared enough to show her how she worked. And she never had a positive enough view of sex to want to figure out how it worked, until now. But she's probably nervous, even if she is comfortable with you. So maybe that's what you need to do, get rid of the nerves."
"But how? I mean we had candles last time."
Quinn shakes her head and lets out an amused groan. "Candles are great San. But I mean…maybe talk about it? Tell her you like doing it, and as long as it still feels good, you'd like to keep going. That if you get tired, or want to stop, you promise you will. That way she will be less inclined to stop you. If she does, that's ok. She's allowed to be nervous. Sounds like nobody has ever used sexual activities as a way to show her that they care about her. And that's sad. So you need to make sure she gets it. Ok?" Quinn is blushing up to her hairline. She's never had this kind of conversation before. But it helps that Santana is nodding at her and taking in every word like she wishes she could be taking notes.
"Thanks Q. I'm sorry we had to talk about that. If you ever need to know anything about penis's I could try and help." Quinn laughs and turns around to face the fridge again.
"So girlfriends huh?" She asks without turning around. A smile breaks out across Santana's face that Quinn can't see, but she can hear in her voice.
"Yeah. It's pretty amazing. She's amazing Q. It's like I'm scared because I like her so much and I haven't known her that long, but the fear is only in the logic part of my brain. Emotionally, I feel more comfortable with her and with these feelings than I've ever felt in my entire life." She kicks her feet a little and bites her bottom lip.
The idea makes Quinn a little sad even though she knows it shouldn't. She wishes that she could have done more to make Santana feel comfortable. She knows Santana knows that she loves her. And she's been the best friend that she could. Santana has certainly been the best friend anyone could be for her. But Quinn gets why that might not be enough sometimes. "I'm really happy to hear that S. And I am sorry about yesterday, I really didn't mean to upset her."
"Oh yeah. I guess I'm supposed to be upset about that. Oh well. Don't do it again or I'll kick your ass. That's my girlfriend you know." She can barely contain her excitement at the words, and all threat is totally lost. She knows that and is very ok with the idea.
"Yeah yeah I promise." Quinn rolls her eyes throwing the last of the fridge and freezer contents away. She hears Santana's phone go off on the counter. "It's Brittany." She guesses.
Santana picks up her phone to check the text.
From Brittany: You're sure it's ok if I spend the night again? And I'm ready!
To Brittany: I'd be sad if you didn't stay. And I'm on my way. See you soon.
"It's cool if she sleeps here sometimes, right Q?" Quinn looks up from tying the garbage bag. She assumed this would come up.
"As long as she's respectful to our apartment, which I know she will be, and as long as I don't have to hear you two going at it, of course she can stay here." Quinn likes Brittany. She's easy to be around and she definitely makes Santana a calmer person. Santana hops off the counter and kisses Quinn's cheek.
"Thanks for everything Q." She says sincerely. And then turns on her heels in embarrassment of her own sincerity.
"Any time S. And take out some of this garbage." Santana huffs but grabs a few bags anyway and heads out to her car. When she gets to the parking lot it's starting to rain again. She texts Brittany to let her know she's outside, and gets as close to the door as possible. After just a few minutes she sees Brittany coming out of the front door and running down the steps toward her car. She opened the back seat and threw her stuff back there, and then jumped into the front seat. Squealing.
"The rain is cold!" Santana laughs as she quickly turns the heat on and then grabs Brittany's hands to help warm them. Brittany leans across the consol to kiss Santana, nipping her bottom lip playfully. Then she buries her face in Santana's neck. "You're warm." She kisses her there before pulling back. "I missed you."
"Missed you to B." She almost added 'and I always do' to the end of that, but didn't. She didn't want to scare Brittany with her feelings. Her feelings that were so big they nearly scared her.
Brittany wouldn't have been scared though. She wished she knew how to bring up the depth of her feelings to Santana. She didn't know how to approach it though. She also wasn't totally sure if it was ok to feel as much as she did so early. She had never had real feelings at all, she didn't think. Not for another person anyway. Not good feelings.
They drove back to Santana's apartment in a comfortable silence. Santana thinking about what her and Quinn had discussed, and Brittany thinking about how the others were going to take the news of their relationship. Probably pretty well, she assumed. She was worried about Quinn the most though, hoping that the other blonde's protective side wouldn't prevent her from being happy for them.
When they get back to the apartment, nobody has arrived yet and Quinn seems to be in her room. "Come lay with me for a minute till the others get here?" Santana asks, holding one of Brittany's hands. Brittany nods and Santana leads her back to her room where they both kick of their shoes and go to lay on the Latina's bed. Santana opens her arms up inviting Brittany into her arms. Brittany has other ideas though. She kneels over top of Santana and lowers herself until her lips are pressed against Santana's, her blonde hair surrounding them.
The kiss stayed like that, their lips just pressed together, for a brief moment before Santana turned her head slightly to deepen the kiss. Their lips started moving against each other's, as the kiss grew more heated. Santana brought her hand up to Brittany's cheek while the other went to her waist. When she felt Brittany's tongue trace her bottom lip begging to be allowed entrance, she parted her lips, half sighing half moaning as she felt the blondes tongue glide past her lips and gently stroke her own.
Brittany wasn't sure she meant for this to turn into a full-blown make out session. She can't say she's unhappy though. Santana tastes amazing. It's like mint and sugar and Santana and is definitely Brittany's favorite flavor. When she starts to feel the suddenly familiar sensation of arousal she slows down the kissing before pulling back from Santana and laying one more quick peck to her lips before opening her eyes and looking into big brown ones staring back at her. Santana couldn't help the smile that formed, she was happy. Really happy. A kind of happy that she thought she might never get to me.
Brittany smiled back and then leant down and nuzzled her nose against Santana's before scooting down and laying her head on her chest. Santana brought her hand up and started absently running her fingers through the blonde's hair noting how soft it was. Brittany ran her fingers along Santana's belt, feeling the texture of the leather. Her mind was racing. She wanted Santana to touch her. She knew that, she could feel it. But the idea of disappointing the Latina because her body didn't work right upset her. She let her fingers slip down to the small sliver of skin showing just above Santana's belt. She felt the brunette's breath catch. Brittany smiled.
"What are you thinking about B?"
"A lot of things. Can you get hard in these compression shorts?" Santana let out an awkward laugh and Brittany scrunched her eyebrows in confusion with herself. She's not totally sure where the question came from, even though she asked it.
"Yeah. I can. It's just really uncomfortable if I get completely hard. That's only happened once though, usually I can kind of stop it." But she doubts that's true with Brittany around. She could already feel herself starting to stiffen at the impromptu but extremely welcome make out session that had happened moments ago.
Brittany hummed in acknowledgement of Santana's answer. Santana thought that maybe this might be an ok time to bring up last night. "Hey B, why did you stop me last night when I was, you know, doing stuff to you?" She gets embarrassed halfway through and thinks that maybe she should have thought this conversation out a little better.
"I didn't want you to keep going and get tired or something, it was taking so long."
"It really wasn't though. I mean…ok so you've never had an orgasm right?" Brittany shook her head. She hadn't. She was pretty sure she couldn't.
"And you've only slept with to- that douche bag right? Have you ever tried to touch yourself?" Santana couldn't even stand the idea of saying his name out loud. She'd never even met him, and for both of their sakes she hoped that she never did, but knowing how much she hurt the woman in her arms made her hate even his name.
"Yeah. Just him. And you now. And…I guess I tried to touch myself a few times. I'd heard a lot about how good sex felt and I thought maybe he was just doing it wrong but it wasn't very good."
"Did you think about something that turns you on when you did it? Or like…I don't know what some porn or look at pictures or anything?" This conversation was awkward. But sex was important to a couple, Santana knew that. She also knew that Brittany needed to enjoy it because she refused to ever ever treat her like an object for her own pleasure, because that's what it would feel like to her if she knew Brittany wasn't as into it as she was.
"No. I just kind of did it. You know. Just uh stuck my hand down there and felt around." Santana laughed and Brittany hit her arm.
"Ok. So, I've talked about sex with Quinn in the past" Santana wasn't to happy with lying to Brittany but she didn't want to embarrass the blonde by telling her that she'd already discussed their sex lives, and in particular, Brittany's personal life with her best friend. "And I know that you felt like I was touching you for a long time but it wasn't long. It was less than ten minutes I'm pretty sure and Quinn says sometime it can take a while. Like it's not weird for it to take half an hour sometimes. And you seemed to enjoy what I was doing-"
"I did. I really did. It felt better than anything ever. And I'd never been that" she hesitates slightly "wet before. But I just don't want you to feel like you need to do that for me, for that long… I would feel bad."
Santana shook her head lightly and kissed the fingers of Brittany's hand that she'd been playing with. "That's silly babe. I would literally do it for hours if it kept feeling good for you. I really really really liked touching you. I was kind of sad that I had to stop." Brittany tucked her head further into Santana's chest.
The brunette wasn't sure if she'd upset her until she heard a shy "really?" from the blonde. Santana reached down with her hand and guided Brittany to look at her. She wanted to make sure she knew how serious she was.
"Yeah. Really. I want to try again, if you'd let me. And I'd like for maybe you to not stop me, until you don't want me to touch you any more." Brittany made a small gesture of protest and Santana cut her off. "And I promise to stop if I get tired or don't want to do it anymore. Obviously not right now, because we have to go soon. But maybe sometime soon?" Brittany bit her lip and thought about it for a minute. Here was a girl, whom she had way more feelings for than she thought possible for the amount of time that they'd known each other, who was asking for her permission to try and make her feel good. She nodded. Santana's eyes lit up.
"Yeah? Awesome." She sat up a bit and kissed Brittany lightly. When they parted Santana pulled Brittany back down to her chest and held her tightly. Excited for the opportunity, and nervous and hopeful that she'd be able to help Brittany get the same enjoyment out of sex, or sex related activities, as she did. She wished that she had a little more experience so she could be sure that she was doing it right but Brittany had seemed really into it for that brief time last night so she thought maybe she was doing pretty well.
Before she could get any further in her thoughts she heard a knock at her door. "Come in" she said knowing it was Quinn. She held Brittany to her letting her know that she didn't need to move just yet.
Quinn noted the position of the two girls, completely tangled up in each other and smiled. "Just wanted you to know everyone is here and hungry." She winked at Santana and then left and pulled the door shut. Brittany went to sit up but Santana pulled her back down so that she could kiss her once more before they got up. As Brittany was fixing her hair quickly in the mirror she started to feel nervous.
"They're going to be ok with this right?"
Santana came up behind her and put her arms around her waist resting her hands on Brittany's flat stomach. She kissed the juncture of her shoulder and neck while nodding.
"More than ok baby. Don't be nervous." Brittany turned in Santana's arms and put her own around the Latina's neck pulling her close in a tight hug. After a brief minute she pulled away.
"Ok I'm good. I just needed a stand up cuddle." Santana cocked her head in confusion. "You know..a hug. But with you I hold you closer than I do with any other hugs so it's like a stand up cuddle." Santana smiled and brushed a piece of hair back behind Brittany's ear and kissed her gently. Then she took her hand and left the room.
Just before they got to the living room she dropped Brittany's hand, she didn't want anyone asking before they were ready to make the announcement. She knew Brittany was nervous, but she was mostly just excited. She knew her friends would be happy for her. Plus she was excited to just be able to be as affectionate with Brittany as she wanted. When they got into the living room everyone was discussing where they wanted to eat. She was glad. She didn't care where they went she was just excited to get there.
They'd decided to go to some vaguely Italian place that none of them wanted to like but all kind of did. Except Brittany. She'd never been there. "This is your first time at Breadstix?" Mercedes asked as they drove there. She and Sam were in a car with her and Brittany. Quinn, Kurt, and Kurt's new 'friend' Blaine behind them. Brittany just shook her head. "Brittany, unlimited breadsticks!"
"Girl I know that's right." Santana cut in and reached back for a high five from Brittany. Santana loved the breadsticks, but she also really just wanted to take focus off of Brittany, who seemed to be growing more anxious by the minute. She knew it was unnecessary for the blonde to feel that way but had no idea how to assuage her fears other that just telling everyone. Which she planned to do as soon as they were seated because she missed Brittany's hand in hers.
They walked into the restaurant, glad that it wasn't more crowded than it was, and were seated right away. The waitress took their drink order and walked away. Santana looked over at Brittany who was playing with her hands under the table. Brittany didn't mean to be nervous. But she was. So nervous she couldn't force herself to be hungry or think about food event though she'd barely eaten today. She didn't think anyone here would be angry with them for starting a relationship. It was just hard, she kind of felt like they were her friends, and truth be told, they were the only ones she had. She hadn't made any friends in any of her classes, or in her major yet. The idea saddened her but the idea of any of the people at the table not liking her or not thinking she was good enough made her more sad.
Santana decided she'd end the blonde's anxiety. "Hey guys," She said out loud and everyone looked up from their menu. It was in that moment that she realized that, once again, she maybe should have thought this through before just going full steam ahead. But they were here now, so she'd just press forward. "I just, well, we just wanted to tell you all together that" she took a breath and took Brittany's hand under the table. She quickly glanced at the blonde, her eyes were wide but she looked hopeful. "we just wanted to say that we are officially uh together." Silence. "as in girlfriends." Silence.
"Oh. I just, am I the only one that assumed they already were?" Kurt said looking around. Everybody laughed.
"I'd say about time but it's only been like two weeks or something. But you guys fit, I thought so the first day. So yeah, about time." Sam smiled his big smile at them. And Brittany knew it'd be ok. She chanced a glance at Quinn, who she'd been most worried about upsetting and Quinn was smiling at her, and nodded when she caught her eye. It was ok. They were all still her friends. And Santana's hand was still in hers. This is good. She thought. This is excellent. And suddenly, she was starving.
After dinner they all drove back to Santana and Quinn's apartment and came inside. They pulled out a few bottles of wine that they had stashed away and started playing Apples to Apples by candle and lantern light. After hours of playing, and much laughter, everyone decided to leave. Santana got up and helped Brittany up before hugging her friends goodbye. Mercedes hugged her "this is my obligatory hurt her and I'll hurt you speech." Mercedes said to Brittany. Mercedes then promptly turned to Santana. "Same goes fro you. You hurt my Brittany, I will end your scrawny ass." Nobody had ever said that to Tommy. She didn't think she'd have anyone to say that to Santana. Not that she was worried about Santana hurting her but it was nice to know that Mercedes included her in her protectiveness.
Sam came over next and hugged Brittany lifting her off the ground. "I'm excited about you two." He then kissed her on the cheek.
"Yo trouty mouth! Get your guppy lips off my woman." Everyone laughed, Santana forced one too. She was only kind of serious. But really that cheek was hers to kiss.
Everyone left and Quinn went into her room while Brittany and Santana went to Santana's. Brittany was pulling her pajamas out of her bag when she remembered the talk that they had had earlier that evening. "Hey San. I know we talked earlier about doing stuff and…I want to but would it be ok for us to just cuddle tonight?" Before Santana even had a chance to respond Brittany started to back pedal, worried that she'd frustrated Santana in some way. "But we can do whatever you want, I was just, it was just, I just suggested it because-"
Santana pulled her into a hug. "I'd like to just cuddle tonight. I'm really tired and I've got this beautiful girlfriend that I'd really like to just hold. If that's ok with you?" Brittany nodded slowly. "And Brittany, please try to remember that we don't ever have to do something you don't want to." Brittany nodded again as a slow smile spread across her face.
"Get changed. I want to cuddle."
"That's more like it." Santana responded as she bent over to pick up a pair of shorts. Brittany smacked her butt before she grabbed her clothes and ran out of the room to the bathroom.
When Brittany got back into the bedroom Santana was already laying in bed clearly waiting for the blonde. She quickly crawled into her girlfriend's arms and wrapped a leg around her hip pulling them as close as she could. They shared a few lazy goodnight kisses before Santana quickly fell asleep. Brittany propped herself up on one elbow to watch the Latina sleep for a moment. She truly is the most beautiful girl I've ever seen, Brittany thought as she gently kissed the sleeping girl's mouth. She brushed some hair out of her face before lying back down. The sleeping Latina cuddled closer to Brittany, who smiled.
She laid there awake for a little while thinking about her conversation with Santana and she was genuinely curious because maybe she was wrong. Maybe her body worked ok when it was with Santana. What she had done had certainly felt good, and she decided she was excited to try again. After that her thoughts progressed to how well tonight had gone with telling the group about their relationship. She decides Santana was right and she had been silly to get so nervous. But then a thought hit her that she thought maybe she had a genuine need to be anxious about, she had to meet all of Santana's big brothers next week. And certainly they wouldn't be so easy going about her dating their baby sister. She decided that talking to Santana about that as opposed to just stressing all night. So she forced herself to listen to Santana's sleeping noises and even breathing, and it wasn't long at all until she fell asleep as well.