Lyrics are from 'Rain' by Patty Griffin
Rain
Chapter Two
It's hard to listen to a hard, hard heart
Beatin' close to mine
Poundin' up against the stone and steel
Walls that she won't climb
Sometimes a hurt is so deep, deep, deep
You think that you're gonna drown
Sometimes all she can do is weep, weep, weep
With all this rain fallin' down
Strange, how hard it rains now
Rows and rows of big dark clouds
When I'm holding on underneath this shroud
Rain
It's hard to know when to give up the fight
Some things you want will just never be right
It's never rained like it has tonight before
Now, she don't wanna beg you, baby
For something maybe you could never give
I'm not lookin' for the rest of your life
I just want another chance to live
Strange, how hard it rains now
Rows and rows of big dark clouds
When I'm holdin' on underneath this shroud
Rain
"And you just let her go?"
"I ain't the lady's keeper. I wasn't stoppin' her if she took it into her head to do somethin' stupid."
"She can't go wandering around the woods in the middle of the night-"
"She'll probably end up leading them back here."
"If she hasn't been eaten by now."
"That's not helpful, Andrea."
Cassidy paused on the edge of the trees, slightly startled by the bright sun suddenly slanting into her eyes. She was exhausted and running mainly on adrenaline, but she'd kept her promise which was the main thing. Lochie stumbled to a stop besides her, panting and trying to catch her breath. Her ink black hair was tumbled all over her heart-shaped face and her grey eyes were confused when she saw Cassidy standing so still. Lochie might act like it, but she wasn't technically her sister. They'd stumbled across each other on a job a few years back and she'd become the closest thing to a friend she'd ever had. She was crashing at her place when the apocalypse hit. Lochie was pretty much a petty thief and sometime grifter but she had a good heart.
"What's the deal? We on the menu again or what?"
Cassidy shot her a wry look as Lochie straightened up, tugging on her tight mesh blouse and peering around. Cassidy shook her head. She cocked her head to the side when she heard the argument drifting through the trees. They really were being quite loud.
"They're talking about you." Lochie said unnecessarily as Andrea loudly announced that she'd never trusted her and they should probably check their stuff to see what she'd stolen.
Lochie's eyes narrowed to angry slits. She took a few steps forwards and peered intently between two trees. Cassidy watched her studying the group carefully. She decided they'd better make their appearance before they got any noisier and besides, she was dying for a shower and a bed. She grabbed Lochie's arm and yanked her out into the field.
Daryl saw her first, always alert for any movement. She looked bedraggled and exhausted but she didn't appear to be injured. He jerked his crossbow up when a figure appeared behind her but she called out and held out her hand to halt him. The rest of them had fallen silent and watched the two women approach warily.
Cassidy hesitated for a fraction of a second, hovering between introducing her companion and heading straight for the house.
"This is Lochie." Cassidy finally said.
The girl waved her fingers towards her head in a half-salute. She looked slightly intimidating, all in black in a mesh top over her black vest. She hovered close to Cassidy though. Maggie offered to show Lochie where she could shower and the group scattered. Daryl fell into step with Cassidy.
"That your promise?"
He jerked his head towards Lochie's departing back. Cassidy slanted her gaze sideways towards him.
"I didn't promise to guard her with my life or anything." She snorted. "We separated a while back. Promised to meet up at the next full moon. If we were still alive, of course."
"That where you were headin' when you totalled that fine piece of machinery?"
He followed her up onto the porch steps.
"If you say one word about women drivers, redneck-" She warned as they reached the door.
There was a smirk lurking beneath the stubble and his eyes were shining with humour.
"Well hell Red, you keep your promises-"
She smirked. She let him lean in towards her until he propped one arm against the door jamb above her head. She leant back against the screen door. This was fun. It had been a long time since she'd flirted.
"I believe I said 'maybe'." She pointed out, laying her palm flat against his chest.
The rough material of his shirt, stiff with sweat and dirt, tickled her palm. She exerted no pressure and he didn't push against her hand, they were at an impasse. He was close enough that she could see the darker flecks in his blue eyes, the smirk hitching up one side of his mouth. Whatever may or may not have happened was interrupted by a thoroughly amused cough from behind Daryl. He frowned and pulled away. Rick and Glenn were on the steps to the porch, looking from one to the other with lifted eyebrows.
By the time Daryl turned back, Cassidy had vanished inside.
"Men." Lochie announced, flopping down into an armchair. "Real men."
Cassidy eyed her over the top of the book she was reading. Her hair was wet from the shower, combed back from her forehead. She looked younger than ever. Her legs swung over the arm of the chair.
"Well done, Lochie. Tomorrow we'll discuss the anatomical differences between the two genders."
She grinned.
"I'll bet. Gonna use that hot redneck for a demonstration?" She teased. Cassidy ignored her. "He is sort of sexy. In a rugged Sawyer sort of way. Not really my type. I bet he's wild in the sack though."
"Lochie." Cassidy hissed in a warning tone.
She grinned cheekily but dropped the topic.
"I should be tired but I'm hyped to the eyeballs." She grumbled, picking at a stray thread on her denim skirt. "Come on, Cass. I bet I can take you down this time."
Cassidy laughed.
"Lochie I haven't slept in thirty-six hours, I just ran the equivalent of ten miles to collect your sorry ass and I'm still going to hand it to you in ten minutes flat." She challenged.
Lochie jumped to her feet and pulled a stern face.
It didn't take long to find a mostly flat patch of grass in the shade of the big house. Lochie unearthed some old jogging bottoms from her stash of looted stuff. Cassidy's were mens and she had to roll them up a few times to keep her feet free. She slipped on a red wife-beater and tied her hair back in a high ponytail. She usually avoided red, it was common sense nowadays, but she figured as long as she stayed out of sight of the trees she should be alright. Lochie was all in black as usual, her dark hair tied back in a plait. They started off gently, light sparring to work the kinks out of their muscles and awaken their tired limbs. By the time they'd worked up to a real workout, they'd drawn quite a crowd. Glenn actually looked quite speechless, the radio he'd been fiddling with forgotten on the ground before him as he stared. T-Dog and Dale were working on the RV but they glanced up every now and then when one of them landed a particularly cunning blow. Andrea, Carol and Daryl had gone to check the highway and Cassidy only realised how late it was when they returned. She'd just landed Lochie on her butt again and she was laughing up at her from the grass.
"I'll get you one day, you know." Lochie groused as Cassidy held out her hand and yanked her to her feet. "You taught me everything you know."
"Actually I taught you everything youknow." Cassidy laughed. "There's a difference. Besides." She elbowed Lochie lightly in the ribs. "You can't teach style. Or flair. Or grace. Or balance. Or-"
"Get off your high horse, bitch." Lochie snapped but there was no malice in her words. "You're a dancer. Not a fighter."
"And yet I can still kick your skinny ass." Cassidy pointed out.
Lochie flicked her the bird and vanished inside to wash off the sweat. Daryl, Andrea and Carol had to walk right past her to get to the RV. Carol was clearly upset so she didn't take it personally when she ran straight past her and into the RV. Andrea ignored her as usual but Daryl filed past with his usual swagger.
"I hope you brought food. I'm starving." She said, grabbing the water she'd brought out earlier and swigging some. It had gone warm and tepid in the sun so she poured the rest of it over her head instead. She flicked some at Daryl to see if she could surprise him for once.
He flinched back with a startled grunt and she laughed. His outraged scowl didn't falter but his eyes were flashing again. She lunged at him, planning to pour the last few drops straight down his shirt but he lashed out with lightening reflexes and grabbed her wrist. She knew he could hurt her if he wanted to and he knew she could hurt him if she really put her mind to it, but his grip was just firm enough to prevent her tipping the bottle. He gave a gentle yank and she allowed herself to fall towards him a little. His crossbow was dangling from his other hand and it bumped against her leg. It seemed like an interminably long time that they stared each other down.
"You're a hell of a scrapper there, girly." He said with something like respect glinting in his blue eyes.
"Something like that."
He leaned in an inch closer.
"Think you could take me, Red?"
There was just enough innuendo in his voice to make her pulse flutter. Lochie's stupid comments were flashing through her head and his smirk only got wider, as if he could see exactly what she was thinking.
"Oh, I'd hurt you." She murmured, quite thrilled to hear that her voice was perfectly calm and even a little offhand. Good. She had no intention of showing him that his husky lilting southern voice sent shockwaves through her stomach.
"Everything alright?"
Shane and Rick were standing a few yards away staring at them intently. Daryl let go of her wrist and she stepped back.
"Fine, Sheriff." She could see Shane eyeing Daryl distrustfully. "Just fine."
"I said no."
"Why not?"
"You know perfectly well why."
"You're not my mother! Or my sister. You can't order me around!"
"No… but I won't come looking for you if you don't come back."
"Why are you acting like such a stiff?"
"Because you're acting like a spoiled brat. You're going to put yourself and everyone else in danger because you're bored… and a stubborn bint to boot."
"I want to help. I'm not going to put anyone in danger-"
"You'll attract them just by being there in your condition, Lochie. You know that."
Lochie whirled on her heel and stormed up the stairs, kicking every step on her way and cursing rapidly under her breath.
"I heard that!" Cassidy called after her. "I'll blame it on the time of the month."
She swore back at her so loudly that the door to Carl's room was flung open and Rick stuck his head out. Carl was sitting up in the bed, craning to see what was going on. He beckoned for her to come in.
"You're looking good, kid." She commented as she plopped down onto the end of the bed.
Lori was asleep in the chair. Well, she was pretending to be asleep at least. Cassidy ignored her.
"Dad said you were fighting with Lochie."
Cassidy shook her head.
"Nah. We were sparring." He looked blankly at her. "Practice fighting. Don't judge us on the argument, kid. She's not like you, she's a brat."
He grinned at her. She didn't need to ask how he'd met Lochie, Lochie was the kind of person who pulled no punches and wasted no time.
"Will you teach me?"
"What?" She blinked out of her thoughts. Carl was peering at her excitedly, his slightly round face pink with excitement.
"To spar." He rolled the foreign word off his tongue triumphantly. "So I can defend myself. Please."
Cassidy could tell from the way Lori had stopped breathing that she was listening intently. She was quite surprised that she hadn't given up all pretence already and chewed her out by now.
"I don't think so, Carl." Cassidy started. His face crumpled and he looked down at his hands. "Look, sparring is no use against walkers." She explained. "You kick one in the face and it's just going to bite your foot. Hand to hand combat won't do you much good. I spar for fun, for the exercise. It's relaxing."
"But." Carl frowned and lifted his gaze back to her face. When he had that look on his face he looked much older than his eight years and very much like his serious father. "There's other stuff out there besides them. Stuff that's just as dangerous."
Her hand clenched convulsively on the sheet beneath her and she swallowed automatically. He really was smart as hell.
"That's true, I guess." She pondered. She supposed it couldn't really do any harm to show him some basic moves. "Okay, kid. When-" She held up a hand to stem his excited cry. "When the doc gives you the all clear and not a moment before. You get up too soon and you'll undo all the work these people have done for you. Understand?"
He nodded solemnly and she grinned, ruffling his hair on her way out. Rick caught up with her in the kitchen. She eyed him warily, wondering if she was about to get chewed out after all.
"I wanted to thank you." He said.
"What for?"
"Carl." He said by way of explanation.
Cassidy shrugged, intently uncomfortable at the attention.
"He's a good kid." She said awkwardly.
"And he has a point."
Rick reached out and pointed at her forearm. Before she could tuck her arm out of sight he indicated the fading bruises just visible on her skin. They'd been hidden under all the dirt. He really was more observant than she'd thought. She could see what he was thinking, Rick had one of those open faces that had his emotions emblazoned all over it no matter what he did.
"Daryl didn't do it." She said flatly, folding her arms to hide the handprint.
Cassidy saw the relief flash through his dark eyes. He'd been worried that the southerner had actually hurt her, which would have made him a threat and her another worry to add to his ever-growing list.
"I ran into some survivors near Atlanta. They weren't nearly as accommodating as you lot."
His frown darkened his whole face and she felt a brief flash of guilt. He'd taken on a lot of worries. She wasn't going to add to them.
"Don't worry about me, Sheriff. They only hurt me once. They won't be hurting anybody else any time soon."
He opened his mouth to say something but Lori appeared in the doorway and Cassidy took the chance to make her escape. These people were all so concerned with each other. It made her uncomfortable. She'd just passed by Dale and T-Dog when she tripped over Daryl. Literally. He was perched on a chopped log, oiling his crossbow. He raised his eyebrows at her, sprawled unceremoniously on the grass at his feet. He made no attempt to help her up and she glared at him from the ground. She contemplated getting up but there wasn't really much point so she rolled over onto her back instead. The sun was almost unbearably hot but she slipped her dark glasses on and revelled in the grass scratching her bare arms and tickling the gap between her shirt and jeans. She could hear Lochie and Glenn in the distance, the low hum of Carol, T-Dog and Dale's conversation nearby. If she closed her mind off a little she could almost pretend it was Before again. Just another sunny day between jobs. A branch snapped and she jerked, hurling herself into a half-upright position.
Cassidy only loosened her grip on her knife when she'd scanned the entire area. Daryl watched her without comment. When she was sure they were still alone she lay back down but the warm illusion had shattered.
"What're you doing so far from the others?" She asked, rolling the sleeves of her top up a little to catch the sun.
"Enjoyin' the peace." He grunted.
"They're very human, aren't they?" She commented, laying one arm across her forehead against the sun. "Wanting to know everything. I've never seen anyone as concerned as Rick seems to be. It's practically a commune. Hard to be alone."
"Especially when people throw themselves at you with all the grace of a wounded bull."
"Shut up." She said lazily. "I'm chock full of grace. You've never seen me dance."
"I don't have any dollar bills on me."
Cassidy cracked open an eye, peering at him over the frames of her shades.
"Daryl Dixon. If I didn't know any better, I'd be under the strange impression that you just made a joke."
She couldn't see his face properly, the sun was behind him casting his face in shadow. She pushed her glasses back up her face.
"Joking." She sighed. "Not much of that around nowadays."
"Joking?" Daryl repeated as if it were a foreign concept he'd never heard of before.
"And chocolate. And music. And hot showers." She was on a roll now, not even sure if he was listening or not but finding it very cathartic nonetheless. "And I miss going to Mimi to get my legs waxed."
His blue eyes flickered from the bow in his lap to her long jeaned legs stretched out before him.
"Don't get me wrong, it hurts like hell… but there's nothing so good for a confidence boost as that smooth silky feeling when the redness goes down." She mused, half wondering how he was going to react.
He grunted. Again. She lifted one leg and rolled up the bottom of her jeans. They were still pretty smooth. He didn't seem to be paying her any attention so she rolled onto her front and cushioned her head on her arms. Dark shadows blocked out her sunlight after a brief while of relaxed sunbathing and she tensed. Lochie and Glenn threw themselves down into the grass besides her. Lochie set about making a daisy chain.
"I'm bored." Lochie declared once she'd hung her daisy chain on Glenn's hat. "Give us a dance, Cass."
Glenn's head perked up and he stared at them with big disbelieving eyes. Cassidy glared at him.
"No."
Lochie poked her in the ribs with her finger.
"Come on. I know you still have the shoes."
"They're ballet slippers, you philistine." Cassidy flung back irritably.
"Tomato. Tomato." Lochie drawled carelessly, flapping a hand. "They're a dumb thing to hang onto if you're not going to use them. You used to dance all the time."
"There's a lot of things I used to do." Cassidy muttered crossly, unimpressed at being the centre of attention. "I used to bathe. I used to drive my bike very fast without a helmet with no fear of being eaten. I used to collect very rare first editions. I used to get laid regularly."
Cassidy was not a blushing type of girl but she was pretty sure she turned as red as a sunset when she broke off abruptly, very aware of Daryl looming besides her. He gave her a quizzical look and she glared, daring him to comment. He didn't, although he certainly looked like he wanted to. The four of them looked at each other for a long moment until Rick approached. He looked exhausted.
"Cassidy." He sat down on the log besides Daryl. She could see his red-rimmed eyes and the bruise-like dark rings under the long lashes. "Can you sit with Carl for a bit?"
Volunteering for babysitting duty wasn't really her thing, but the poor guy looked ready to drop. She had the feeling he was at his limit and someone should cut him a break.
"Sure. Why not." She sighed, manoeuvring back into a sitting position and preparing to stand.
She was somewhat surprised when he caught her hand as she passed by the two of them. He didn't say anything but he squeezed her fingers gratefully. She withdrew her hand and made her way back into the house. Carl was propped up in bed. No wonder he was bored, the room was completely bare of all entertainment possibilities. She threw herself across the end of the bed in an attitude of extreme boredom and he giggled.
"Alright kid. You got two choices for an afternoon of fun. One—"
"Why do you always call me 'kid'?" Carl asked curiously.
"Well… you are a kid. I guess." She said, slightly taken aback. "Now. I can teach you to speak French. Or I can teach you to sew."
"You sew?" He repeated in astonishment.
"There are many things I can do, young one." She sniffed haughtily. "I am a woman of very many talents. Now. Option one or two. Choose wisely."
He blinked at her as if he wasn't sure whether she was serious or not.
"French." He finally said. "Although I don't see the point."
"Well if you happen to run into a French walker you'll be able to yell at them just as effectively as if they had been American one. I know all the good curse words in a dozen different languages. So, sport." He grinned. "How advanced is your knowledge of all things French, nipper?"
Carl shrugged.
"Very well, my young sir. From the beginning."
Daryl had just finished gutting a deer for supper and was on his way to the house for a well earned shower. The place was deserted, everyone seemed to be doing something. He paused when he saw a long leg dangling over a window sill. No red-blooded man would ever forget those legs. Drawn by curiosity he weaved closer to the house. Cassidy had apparently thrown open Carl's window so he could enjoy the sun and the fresh air. She was perched on the rather wide sill reading something in French to Carl who was scribbling avidly on a page.
Daryl frowned and moved closer. She was focused entirely on the book and her back was to the trees. Her voice didn't alter for a moment but as soon as he got close enough to theoretically touch her, her knife appeared out of no where and he faltered. Those bright cat eyes were fixed on him with something like amusement.
"I could have been a walker." He snapped pointedly.
"I knew you weren't a walker." She said calmly, the bare leg swinging absently again. "You don't smell like one." She sniffed at his blood stained clothes experimentally. "Not entirely anyway."
Her eyes seemed brighter than ever now she was so brown from the sun. When she wasn't with Carl she was usually sparring with Lochie outside or helping Maggie with the horses. A couple of days in this heatwave and she'd been bronzed almost as dark as he was. The sun had lightened her hair though, it was shot through with blonde now. He glared at her and then stomped off.
He scrubbed his bare skin a little harder than was necessary as he showered off the blood. When he emerged he was almost as dirty as before, it would take more than a brief shower in tepid water to remove the grime. He still had the deer to sort out for supper. As he was rounding the side of the house again, he passed by Carl's window. Cassidy was still there, her head was thrown back and she was laughing at something Carl had said. The book she'd been reading from had tumbled from her lap into the grass beneath the window. Not his problem and yet he retrieved the book anyway. Before he had time to open his mouth about her lax sense of security, her hand had lashed out, locked around his wrist and yanked it at a painful angle. Taken by surprise he stumbled forwards. Cassidy had obviously expected him to anticipate her move because she over-balanced but her grip didn't loosen. This effectively yanked Daryl over the low sill and through the huge window.
They landed in a tangle of limbs on the hard wooden floor. Stunned by the sudden fall, the two of them stared at each other. Carl found the entire incident completely hilarious and he laughed so hard his stitches began to ache. Cassidy looked up at Daryl.
"Why, Mr Dixon." She purred coyly.
His scowl could have frozen a lake, even in this heat.
"It's the book." He snarled, indicating the book now trapped between them and digging sharply into her thigh. "I hope that ain't how you deal with walkers. Yanking 'em through windows and presenting ya'self to 'em."
"I already told you." She murmured. "I knew you weren't a walker."
She offered no other explanation but Rick appeared in the doorway with a bemused expression on his face and Carl had to explain, between fits of giggles, what had happened. Feeling flustered and irritable, and with quite a sore bruise to his pride, Daryl shot to his feet and stalked out of the room. Rick helped Cassidy to her feet and she could have sworn there was a grin hiding there somewhere.
LadyLecter47 – great :)
PsychoBeachGirl88 – thanks I'm glad you like it and her. Cassidy's background will be revealed eventually
gurl3677 – thanks, glad you like it
SaraLostInes – thanks :) I hate Andrea she's always the one who gets attacked, wish she'd just get eaten already
Clarissa8 – and I despise weak, whiny, useless, helpless women which is why I don't write about them. You don't like it, don't read it.