Reasons that I Laugh and Breathe

by klikeszombies

AU. Brittany goes to college and meets Santana and the rest of New Directions. Even though life has been hard so far, and even though bad things still happen, she regrets nothing that has brought her here. Please read first authors note for more information!

12. Chapter 12

After Halloween things went back to the way they had been before Quinn made it abundantly obvious that she had feelings for Rachel. She pined around the house, and silently in Rachel's presence but the situation wasn't discussed and Quinn was convinced Rachel was trying to pretend like it never happened. Brittany thought it was more likely that Rachel was in denial that Quinn could have feelings for her. Despite Rachel's seemingly abundant self-esteem, she thought very little of herself outside of her vocal and acting talent.

Brittany went back to rehearsing daily. The only difference was that Mike had less time to help her so she often spent hours going over the same section only to have no resolution by the end of the session. Santana was also busy working for the theater and rehearsing her own projects for her classes. This left increasingly less time for them to do homework together at the Library. She insisted that she was fine, and that she had it covered, but in secret she studied so much that everything except dancing took a back seat. Including sleep. She made herself eat regularly, but she knew she wasn't drinking enough water or sleeping near enough. But what could she do? Slowing down wasn't an option.

She went, for the first time since meeting her, three days without seeing Santana. She had had to schedule rehearsal time for her professors to observe her over one of their scheduled lunch periods and other wise, their schedules never met up. Several times, even though Brittany wasn't getting done until three or four in the morning, she thought about going over to Santana's apartment and just crawling into bed with her so that she could at least feel her presence. She missed her so bad.

Santana was in the same position. She desperately wanted to spend time with her girlfriend. She knew that they'd always have to face times where their schedules didn't match and they'd not be able to see each other. But even in their phone conversations and texts she could tell that Brittany was getting increasingly more stressed out. She wasn't sure what to do exactly because Brittany was telling her that everything was fine. Santana told her causally to study less but Brittany just scoffed and changed the subject.

One night while at the dance studio Brittany knew she had overdone it. She had only had two hours in the practice room booked but the person scheduled after her hadn't shown up so she just kept dancing. When she looked up and saw that it was 11:00 she knew she had to go because she was cutting way into the time she had scheduled to be studying. She was already feeling completely exhausted and out of it and she knew she was never going to get to bed tonight. The thought was depressing. She bent over to catch her breath and when she stood back up everything started spinning. She caught herself on one of the mirrors before she fell over and held herself there until she felt like she could stand without falling. She picked up her bag and briefly thought she should put her sweat pants and coat on but then she just didn't. She didn't have a reason, she wasn't distracted by anything, but her brain never relayed the thought to her body so she walked out, dragging her bag. She noticed when she got out into the hallways that she had tunnel vision and she wanted to sit down. But she knew she had to study. The further down the hall she got (and in reality the hall isn't that long but tonight it felt like miles) the more upset she got. She wasn't even sure why she was upset, there wasn't a specific thing that set her off but she felt like she was going to cry. She was upset because she felt exhausted and she still had so much to do before she could sleep. IF she could sleep. She wanted to cry because she missed Santana so bad she could feel it all over. She would give just about anything to be in her arms right now. And that's when she decided that no matter what she'd see Santana tonight. Even if it were just to hug her and then lie next to her and study for the rest of the night, she would see Santana. She needed it.

Mike was leaving rehearsal tired, and glad to be heading home to bed when he accidently ran right into someone knocking them to the ground. "Oh my God I'm sorry! Oh! Britt are you ok?" Brittany was sat on the ground, her bag next to her with some stuff fallen out, and making no attempts at getting up. So Mike reached his hand out to help her, which she took, and struggled to her feet.

"Hi. I'm just" she started to mumble to herself. "Santana. My legs have cramps." She looked completely destroyed. Her eyes were blood shot and she didn't even look steady on her feet. "Bye." And then she just turned around and walked out. After a minute he decided that Brittany was definitely in no condition to be walking anywhere right now by herself. He'd make her wait here, and go get his car and drive her where she needed to go. So he ran outside but couldn't see her. So he went back inside to grab his cell phone and that's when he saw that when she dropped her bag, the things that fell out she never put back in. So her cell phone was sitting there, as well as a pair of sweat pants. He picked it up and did what made the most sense, called Santana. At first he didn't think she was going to pick up but then on the fourth ring he heard it click.

"Baby?" Was mumbled sleepily over the phone.

"Hey Santana, it's Mike."

"Where's Brittany what's wrong?!"

"She's ok. I mean, I just ran into her when she was walking out of the studio and she seemed really out of it but she mentioned your name. I'm going to walk towards your place and see if I can find her and at least get her to put some pants on."

"She's not wearing pants?!" Santana yelled into the phone. Mike could hear noise in the background what he assumed was her getting out of bed to find Brittany.

"She had shorts on. But Santana, she needs to sleep and she needs to drink some water she was talking about cramps in her legs."

"Yeah got it I need to find her." And then the phone went dead. He grabbed his stuff and ran out in the direction he thought she might have gone.

"Where the fuck are my car keys!" Santana screamed into her empty room. She needed to go. Brittany needed her. Finally she sees them exactly where she's looked five times already. She grabs them and runs to the front door. Upon flinging the door open she sees that Brittany is already there sitting just to the side of the door with bare knees pulled to her chest and her head buried in her arms.

"Oh Brittany. Baby. Are you ok?" Brittany's head snaps up and she looks blearily at Santana.

"All the lights were out and I couldn't think of a way to get in and not wake Quinn up. I just wanted to hug you before I study. I just miss you." Santana helps Brittany up and pulls her teary eyed girlfriend into her chest. The relief she feels that Brittany is ok is intense, that's her first instinct. Her second is pure joy that she is finally, finally in her arms again. The third is worry because Mike was right, she is out of it.

"Baby" she lays kisses to Brittany's hair. "You never ever need to worry about something like that. Just wake her. She'd be more upset that you were sitting out here with shorts and no coat because you were worried about waking her."

"How did you know I was out here?"

"You left your phone in the dance building. Mike has it. We'll get it sometime tomorrow. Come inside. You need to eat and get some water in you. And baby your skin is freezing. Come on." Brittany leaned into her as they walked, almost like she couldn't support her own weight. She was dead on her feet. But Santana grabbed her bag and they went inside. "Sit down I'm going to make you a sandwich. Here's some water." She hands her a bottle. "This feels familiar." She says more to herself than Brittany. "What's going on Brittany, you need to talk to me." She says once Brittany has made it through a bottle of water and is looking slightly more alert.

"I'm just studying and dancing so much."

"Like how much? Be honest with me, how much are you sleeping?"

"You're going to get mad."

"I'm not mad Brittany I'm concerned. Now please tell me."

"Like three hours." Brittany looks down half ashamed and partially afraid that Santana is going to get angry. "I'm sorry I just don't know what else to do." Santana takes a deep breath. She's frustrated but she knows she needs to be careful. Brittany is exhausted so anything is likely to upset her or hurt her feelings and that is the last thing Santana wants.

"Britt I'm not mad baby. I promise. Just concerned. But we've talked about this. You can't just give up on the things you need like eating and sleeping to do homework. Do you think you're maybe overdoing it on the homework a little bit? It shouldn't be this hard babe."

Brittany looks up at her, tears definitely about to fall now. "But it is this hard. I'm not over doing it. Nothing sticks Santana. Nothing. I read it a million times and it just won't stay there. I try so hard." The tears start escaping. Santana sets the sandwich in front of her and hugs her again. "If I don't get good grades, I lose my scholarship. If I don't dance well, they'll take my scholarship away. I feel like I lose no matter what. Or I don't sleep. Caus if I lose my scholarship, my parents will make me go to business school. I can't do that San. I would be miserable if I couldn't dance." Brittany starts to cry harder. Who would ever take this angel away from something that makes her so happy? She knows the answer to that question. She thinks that maybe this is a conversation for another time. There are more important things that need dealt with immediately. She holds Brittany for a few more minutes before gently pulling away. Brittany resists for a second but then relents and separates too.

"Eat your sandwich. And here's more water."

"Could I maybe have some juice instead?" And even though Santana knows water is better, Brittany sounds so tired and low, she gets her some juice to go with her sandwich and sits down next to her.

"I don't want you to get upset. Ok? And I'm going to remind you again that I am in no way mad at you. But we need to figure something out. I can't help you if you're not letting me know that things aren't going ok." Brittany puts her sandwich down and lowers her head for a second before she looks back up at Santana.

"It's not your job to take care of me. I should be able to do it."

"There's a lot of untrue about that statement. One, I'm your girlfriend. I lo-ike taking care of you." Shit it almost slipped. "I like taking care of you. So it is my job. I make it my job. And baby, please understand that you aren't used to a support system. When someone cares about you, they help you and do what they can do take care of you when you can't take care of you. You would do it for me wouldn't you? If things got to hard and I was forgetting to eat you'd bring me dinner wouldn't you? And make me go to bed?" Brittany nods, eyes watering. Santana picks up the sandwich and hands it back to her, urging her to eat. "I think we need to come up with a schedule. Times that you can study with me. So I can help you. It might mean a little less time dancing. But I promise you, and I know you know this, if you're sleeping regularly everything is going to be just a little bit easier. You be more honest with me when you're struggling, and we can both do a better job at taking care of you."

Brittany knows this. And she knows Santana isn't meaning to, but she's making Brittany feel a little bit dumb. Because no matter how many times she's told herself the same thing, she couldn't make it work in her head. But with Santana saying it, she believes it. It's hard to believe that someone could care about her the way Santana does. Willing to spend her own time to make Brittany's life easier. She knows she just needs to get used to it. But she doesn't think it will ever feel less amazing to be this important to someone. Brittany finishes her last bite of sandwich before nodding her head. "Ok. Let's do it."

"First, sleep. We can work out a schedule tomorrow over lunch. Ok?" She takes Brittany's hand and leads her to the bedroom.

"I should shower. You'll probably think I smell gross."

"Nope. Get your stinky butt in bed. If you're not in my arms in two seconds I'm going to start pouting." Brittany wonders how Santana can make her melt in just about any situation as she peels off everything but her underwear and climbs into bed. She doesn't even have the strength to put a tank top on. Which obviously Santana has no complaints about. She took the blonde into her arms and pulled her in as close as possible. "Sometimes I feel it's not possible to get close enough to you. Like I just want you closer." Brittany nods into her chest and pulls herself in even more and tangled their legs together.

"It will be nice to take a break over Thanksgiving. I wish I could just stay in my dorm room." She mumbles sleepily into Santana's chest. "Hold tighter San." Santana tightened her grip again. "I needed this. And you. I need you." Santana's breath caught.

"I need you too Britt. Go to bed baby." She felt Brittany quickly fall to sleep. She stayed awake for a little bit thinking through her schedule so her and Brittany could talk about it tomorrow. She also knew she needed to call her mother in the morning to talk about Brittany coming for Thanksgiving. She kissed her forehead tenderly, laughing at the little sleep sounds Brittany made, before closing her eyes and falling asleep.

The next morning Santana woke up to her alarm going off. Brittany was lying almost completely on top of her at this point so she struggled to reach the phone and shut it off. Even with the movement and noise Brittany was still dead asleep. She must be exhausted, Santana figured, and she briefly considered letting her sleep through a few classes. She certainly needed the sleep, but she thought that Brittany might be angry with her if she did that, and she definitely didn't want to make the problems that Brittany was having worse. She only wanted to help her. She figured she could let Brittany sleep for at least fifteen more minutes so she lay with Brittany draped across her running her fingers up and down her naked back. She missed touching Brittany. Yeah, she missed the physical feelings that came with the things they did to each other, but mostly she missed the closeness. But she could deal, if maybe Brittany slept over more often. Because this felt pretty damn wonderful.

At fifteen minutes she knew she had to wake up the sleeping blonde, so she braced her against her body with her arms and gently turned so she was laying next to Brittany who immediately curled into her, instinctually missing the warmth. Santana started slowly waking her up with kisses, gentle touches, and soft words. Brittany eventually stirred awake and put her arms around Santana to hug her close again. "You gotta get up baby. We need to get you back to your room to shower and change for classes and stuff." Brittany kissed her deeply in response.

"Thank you Santana." Santana started to ask for what but Brittany stopped her with another kiss. "For everything. You're amazing. You make every single part of my life better. Even dancing is better for having you. I promise I'm going to try and balance everything better, and I will be better at talking about it."

"I'm just glad I can give you a fraction of what you give me." They lay there for a few more minutes basking in each other and exchanging slow kisses. Both grateful for this moment of closeness before the day begins. "Ok babe we need to get you back or you are going to be late."

Sitting in the car after driving back from dropping Brittany off at her dorm she decides now is as good a time as any to call her mother. She wasn't nervous because if anything her mother would make a passive aggrieve excuse as to why it wouldn't be a good idea to bring Brittany home. And then Santana would tell her that's fine that she's going to stay at school and have Thanksgiving with Brittany because as long as she could do something about it, Brittany was absolutely not going home. She pulled out her phone and scrolled down to her mother's phone number.

"Hola mija."

"Morning Mami."

"Everything going ok? School is going well yes?"

"It's fine. I have an easy semester. I actually called about Thanksgiving."

"Ok?"

"Well, I have a girlfriend. We've been together for about two months, and I'd really like for her to come to our home for Thanksgiving."

"You have a girlfriend? Tell me about her." Santana is, to say the least, shocked. She doesn't doubt her parents love her. She's never doubted it. And after hearing about Brittany's parents, she thought hers were pretty darn supportive. Despite them not being very close, they came to her performances every time they could and even when she made choices her instructors didn't love, her parents always told her they were proud. She made a mental note to tell Brittany how proud she was of her.

"She's well, she's Brittany. That's her name. And she's a dancer. The most beautiful girl I've ever seen. She's taller than me with blonde hair and blue eyes. Oh and the most beautiful laugh, and she says the most amazing things. She's a year younger than me." Santana gushed and her mother chuckled but then got quiet.

"Does she know about your differences mija?"

"Yes! And she doesn't care. Didn't even faze her. It's like it's not even something unusual with her. Like girls are born with penis's all the time." Maribel Lopez smiled listening to how happy her daughter sounded. She had always hoped this would happen for Santana, she desperately wanted a normal life for her. She spent countless days and nights wondering if she had made the right decisions for her as a small child and this is just one more reassurance that she was going to be ok.

"Are you being" she cleared her throat. "safe Santana?" The topic was uncomfortable. Talking about sex with any of her five children was uncomfortable. But with Santana, and she wished it wasn't so, it felt even more so.

"Mami! Dios mio. We aren't even doing that yet." She hissed into the phone. "But when we are ready, Brittany is on birth control."

"I just worry mija. "

"I know mami. So, about Thanksgiving?"

"Of course she can come. Your papi and I would love to meet her. Your brothers have already, I assume, when they came to visit." Santana felt a little bad at the tone of her mother's voice that indicated that she felt a little slighted that her brothers knew about Brittany before she did. "You know you can talk to me about anything. I know that sometimes I come off as distant but I love you so much Santana, and I don't want you to ever think any different." Santana wished she could hug her mother. She didn't often have those urges but she really did right now.

"I love you to mami. We should try to call more often."

"We should. Ok I have to go to work. I love you and I look forward to seeing you when you come home with Brittany."

"Uh, I have one more question." Santana said hesitantly.

"You can sleep in the same room as long as you are respectful of the fact that you are in my and your fathers house. Ok?"

"Thank you! I love you and will talk to you soon!" She heard her mother laugh.

"Goodbye Santana." Her mother hung up and she went inside to shower and finish up some homework before she met Brittany for lunch.

She decided they should handle business first before telling Brittany that her mother invited her to Thanksgiving. Or rather that she asked and her mother said yes. Either way, so long as Brittany really didn't want to go to her home for Thanksgiving (and why would she?), she had a real alternative and that made Santana feel good. When she got to the dining hall she only had to wait a few minutes before Brittany showed up, she was going to be a few minutes late because she needed to get her phone from Mike, and they went in and got their food and a table. It took them nearly forty-five minutes to work out a schedule that would fit Santana's schedule and allow for Brittany to get the time she needed for both studying and dancing with minimal compromises.

"This looks so much less scary than my schedules I had made for myself." Brittany breathed a sigh of relief.

"See what happens when you let me help. Things are better when we do them together." Brittany nodded at her, smiling. "So, I actually have something else to talk to you about." Santana began hesitantly.

"Ok…"

"What would you think about going home with me for Thanksgiving break. We could go do our super date night, and then go stay at my house for the rest of break. If you want that is."

"Yes!" Already excited, but then hesitant to get her hopes to far up. "Did you ask your parents?"

"Mhmm. I'm really excited B. Time off together. We can do anything you want."

"Anything?" Brittany asked and Santana detected a little bit of seduction in her tone. Apparently Brittany was feeling the same way Santana had been lately.

"Anything as long as my parents aren't home."

"Even just to be able to lay with you for hours and not have something else we need to do. Oh we could watch movies San! And play games or we could go places! Can you see the beach where you live? I know it's cold but we could go see."

"We can do anything and everything you want. We can see the ocean and watch a million movies. I don't care as long as I can have you with me."

"I'm excited to meet your family." In her excitement Brittany has practically crawled into Santana's lap. Close enough for Santana to nuzzle her face.

"They are excited to meet you too. You smell good." Brittany giggled as Santana's nose tickled her slightly. She had one more thing she wanted to mention to Brittany and was hopeful it wouldn't sound strange or needy (even though Santana thought she might be a little needy when it came to Brittany) "I want you to know that any time you want to stay over you can. If you just need to sleep over so you can stop thinking or because you don't wan to be alone-"

"or because I need you?"

"Or because you need me. You can always come over. Ok? I love sleeping with you."

"It's pretty much my favorite thing too."

"So maybe tonight you could…?"

"Meet you outside of the theatre when your rehearsal is over and go home with you?" Santana nods and bights her lower lip. She hasn't known Brittany for very long, and she knows their relationship by all standards has been short. But she'd ask Brittany to move in with her if there was a reason. She couldn't think of anything that would make her happier than to go to sleep with Brittany every night and wake up every morning together.

After they finished lunch they headed their separate directions. When Brittany's next class ended early she decided to call her mother, which she didn't really want to do, to tell her that she wouldn't be coming home for Thanksgiving. She didn't even really expect her mom to answer, and was fully prepared to leave a voice mail. She preferred it even, but no such luck for that.

"Hello."

"Oh I, hello mom."

"Do you need something?" She's glad she didn't just call to talk or that might have hurt her feelings.

"I just wanted to know what your plans for Thanksgiving were because-"

"I had meant to call you but completely forgot. Your father sister and I are going to visit some friends for the holiday. Do you have a friend you can stay with? Or you could come home I guess if you don't have anyone to stay with but we're having the floors refinished so you'd have to just stay in the basement. I wish you would have stayed friends with all your friends from high school Brittany."

"I have someone to stay with." Don't let this bother you Brittany, don't get upset. Don't let this bring you down.

"Oh, is it a boy?"

"No."

"Ok. I have to go. I will talk to you sometime soon. Bye." And the phone went dead. She doesn't care, she hasn't cared, but Santana cares. Sam cares. Mercedes and Quinn and Rachel and Kurt care. She made herself think about all the wonderful things that she'd get to do with Santana, and how much she'd get to see of her. A few months ago she would have expected this from her mother. But once you have someone like Santana, and you learn what warmth and capacity for caring someone can have, she can't help but be sad that the woman that birthed her doesn't care but her girlfriend would do anything for her.

To Santana: I can't wait to spend break with you. And the night. And for as long as you want me.

She only had to wait a few minutes to hear a response.

From Santana: I will always want you B.

She took a few more minutes to take comfort in that text message. She heard her phone ring and assumed it was Santana but the ID read Tina.

"Hey Tina what's up?"

"Nothing. I was just talking to Mike, and since you don't have a choreographer, that means you don't have a costume. I was wondering if maybe you'd like me to make you one. It's good for my portfolio and it'd be something you don't have to worry about."

"That sounds awesome Tina." She tried to keep the enthusiasm in her voice. She thought she might have failed a little bit but Tina didn't seem to notice to much.

"Cool. Ok so I need to take your measurements sometime soon and maybe come with Mike to watch you go through it to make sure whatever I make will work for you. Is that ok? Maybe tonight?"

"I'm not working tonight. I need a Santana night really bad. But I will text you and let you know when I'll be rehearsing next. Ok?"

"Sounds good. I'm really excited to work with you Brittany. And have fun with Santana."

"Me too. Thank you! Have a good day." The phone call made her momentarily happy but she was still feeling down about the phone call with her mom. She knew she shouldn't be surprised or hurt. She knew that. She didn't even think that her mother meant to hurt her feelings. She just didn't think about it. Or her. And that's what hurt the most. She picked up her phone and hit her most frequently called number.

"Hey baby. What's going on?" Hearing Santana's voice broke what little reserve she had. She could feel her eyes burn with tears.

"Hi. I just wanted to talk to you. Missed you."

"You sound down baby, anything wrong?"

"What are you doing? Can I come over?"

"You can but I have to play piano at rehearsal. I can maybe cancel if you need me to?"

"No, it's ok, I forgot about rehearsal. I'll meet you at the theater after. Good luck babe."

"Are you sure? If you need me…"

"No I promise it's fine." She tried to keep her voice up so Santana would believe her. She didn't want Santana to feel bad about having to go to rehearsal.

"Ok baby. You can come a few minutes early, sometimes we're done then." Santana could tell something was wrong but without seeing Brittany she couldn't tell the severity. And Brittany said it was fine. She should trust Brittany.

"I will. See you later."

"Bye babe."

When Brittany got off the phone she grabbed her stuff and headed to her last class. During which, all she could think about was trying to rationalize herself out of being upset about her mother. After the class, she headed back her dorm room to wait until Santana got done so she could talk to her. When she got back to the dorm room she saw Rachel sitting on her bed with headphones on writing furiously. Brittany raised her hand in greeting and flopped onto her bed.

"Hello Brittany. Did you stay at Santana's last night?"

"Yeah I was kind of a mess. Working too hard."

"I agree you are. How was your day?" Brittany hesitated to answer. How had her day been? It had been fine, good even, except for the conversation with her mother. Could she talk to Rachel about it? They were friends.

"It was ok except for a conversation with my mom." She chose vague. And if Rachel cared, Rachel would ask. And if she was too busy then she'd just leave it be.

"Would you like to talk about it? The conversation with your mother?" Rachel seemed like she genuinely wanted to listen.

"You don't mind?"

"Of course not." Rachel got off her bed and crossed to Brittany's and sat next to her. Brittany's bed was a little taller so she needed to jump a few times to get up which made Brittany laugh a little. "So what happened?"

"Well, I guess my family and I don't have the best relationship. I don't really fit in." She tried to give Rachel enough back-story without having to explain her entire life. "I don't talk to them very often. But Santana invited me to come to Thanksgiving with her, which I said yes of course because how amazing will that be?" She felt the bad feelings loosen their hold on her chest a little. "I thought I should at least tell my family I wouldn't be home. I didn't think they'd care. So I guess I don't know why the call made me so upset. But when I asked my mom what they were doing, she said they were going away with my sister to see friends. But they didn't even tell me. What if I hadn't called? When would they have remembered I exist? Why didn't they invite me to go?" Brittany felt herself getting upset again. Rachel sensed it to, and took her hand in both of hers.

"Did you say anything to her?" Brittany shakes her head no.

"She just said I should find a friend to stay with, or I could stay in the basement."

"The basement?!" Rachel imagined her basement, full of spiders and Hanukkah decorations in near equal amounts.

"Our basement is like a small apartment. It's got a fridge and a microwave and bathroom and stuff. So it wouldn't be the worst thing ever. But I told her I was staying with someone. And she just asked if it was a boy, and I said no. And then she just said she had to go and hung up."

"I'm sorry Brittany. I don't know anything about your situation but I do know that if I was in that situation I would feel a little worthless too."

"Yeah. I just don't understand why that happened. Like why am I not important enough to at least text?" Tears began to come to her eyes.

"You are important enough though Brittany. So important. Ask Santana how important you are. And you are one of the nicest people I know, one of my best friends. I wouldn't even have any other friends if it weren't for you. I think you're very important." Brittany looked at Rachel. She hadn't even thought about how she had helped Rachel. She smiled down at her. "And I bet Sam and Quinn and Mercedes and Kurt and Mike and Tina all think you're important. As you know, I'm adopted. And I've never once doubted how much my fathers loved me. Family has nothing to do with biology. Sometimes they pick you. And sometimes you pick them. If your family doesn't appreciate you for how amazing you are, pick a new one." Brittany's eyes clouded over with tears and she folded herself into a surprised Rachel who took it in stride and hugged the taller girl.

After a few moments Brittany lifted herself back up and wiped the tears from under her eyes. Rachel is right. Brittany had people here that were better than any she'd ever had. Real friends. She was closest with Rachel and Sam but she'd get closer to the rest of them. And Santana. Santana was the best thing that had ever happened to her. Best thing that ever will happen to her. When she thought about it that way, she had way more to be happy for than to be upset over.

"Thanks Rachel. I'm glad I came back here and that I talked to you." Rachel's answering smile made Brittany think that Rachel was glad they talked too. The rest of the time that Brittany spent waiting for Santana to get done she showered and then the two girls spent the rest of the time talking about their favorite movies and who was who in Rachel's program. "I don't really know a lot of people in my program other than Mike. And me getting the solo hasn't helped me making friends with the other first years."

"They're just jealous Brittany. I can tell you from personal experience that it is difficult being so much better than other people, but I deal with it as gracefully as I can." Rachel nodded her head solemnly. Brittany nodded her head as well but was trying desperately not to laugh.

"Ok Rach, I've got to go meet Santana. Thanks again!" She left the dorm with her bag and ran down to the theater building. It was cold outside so she slipped inside the lobby and grabbed one of her books she needed to finish reading out of her bag. She was even a little earlier then Santana had told her to be. She was excited to see her. It wasn't anxiety or stress filled need for Santana's comfort, it was genuine excitement. She was so lost somewhere between her thoughts and the book she was sort of reading that she didn't hear the door open.

"Hey baby." Santana said gently, not wanting to scare the blonde. Brittany looked up, eyes wide, put her book down, and stood up and threw her arms around the smaller girls neck.

"How was rehearsal San?" Brittany asked pulling away slightly but not separating from Santana.

"Fine as usual. I just sit behind a piano and play the same thing over and over. It's no big deal. But what about you? Are you ok?"

"Fine. We can talk about it if you want but I'm ok. Can we go for a drive before we go to your place? I just want to spend a little time with you." Santana takes her hand and pulls her out to the car. She was anxious, Brittany seemed ok but she had spent the entire rehearsal feeling guilty about choosing anything over Brittany. But she had been torn between her obligations and wanting to be there for Brittany always. They get out to the car and get in and Santana starts heading off in the first direction that occurs to her. Brittany couldn't help but notice she was distracted.

"What's wrong baby?

"Just worried. You sounded sad earlier."

"Yeah. I was. I talked to my mom and found out that they're visiting friends and they hadn't even told me or invited me along during Thanksgiving break. Not that it matters because I was just calling to tell them I wasn't coming home. And then when I told my mom I had a place to go, she didn't even ask anything about you or your parents or anything. I was just kind of hit with the sadness of her not caring about me."

"Oh Britt" she looked at Brittany, her eyes full of pity. "I should have been there. I'm so sorry. I-"

"No it's ok! I talked to Rachel. She said some things that made a lot of sense and I feel a lot better now." Brittany nodded her head resolutely and Santana knew she was being honest. She also knew that she should be happy that Brittany was feeling ok, but there was some small part of her that was maybe jealous that it hadn't been her to help make Brittany feel better. And beyond the (admittedly ridiculous) jealousy, she also felt like a complete jerk. She should have been there. "I just want you to know that I feel so lucky to have you. I feel so lucky that someone like you chose someone like me." Santana shook her head. She says someone like her like Brittany isn't the most amazing thing that's ever happened to her.

"You amaze me B. Every single day. You're so strong and smart and beautiful that sometimes I don't even know how to process it all. So I feel lucky to have you. And I feel lucky that someone like you chose someone like me. So I guess we're even there." And like that, Santana was distracted from her guilt, and Brittany was made positive that nobody could make her happier than Santana did.

The closer it got to dress rehearsal and the performance the more stressed Brittany got. She stuck to the schedule that her and Santana had come up with, and the structure definitely helped, but she was anxious but definitely excited. She was pretty confident in her choreography and dancing. Mike was really supportive and Tina had now seen it and said it was beautiful. She didn't think they'd lie. If something about it were terrible, Mike would just talk to her about how to fix it. She had started to notice some resentment from some of the girls in her class. She was quickly being picked out as one of the better ones in her classes, on top of getting the solo. It wasn't anything she couldn't handle, she'd encountered some of the same thing at her school at home. She hadn't heard from her parents since she'd talked to her mother about not coming home. She sent a quick email inviting them to the dance concert, fully expecting they would come up with an excuse as to why they couldn't come. She didn't expect to get no response, but she didn't dwell on it. She was choosing her own family.

A few days before dress rehearsal she got a text from Tina asking her to come visit the costume shop to try on the costume she had made her. Rachel was in the room with her when she'd gotten the text so she asked her to go with her. Rachel had been obsessing for days about auditions that were coming up and Brittany thought it'd be good to get her out of the room. She also thought that Rachel could help her find the costume shop since it was the building she spent most of her time in. When she got to the costume shop Tina was waiting for her with a garment bag.

"Hey Brittany, Rachel. Let's go to one of the dressing rooms." Once they got there she pulled the bag off of the dress and a smile broke out over Brittany's face. "Ok you just need to put this on and then I'll check the fit, we can step outside so you can-" Brittany starts whipping her clothes off leaving just her bra and underwear on. "oh. Ok. Never mind."

"Brittany just does that. She's not shy. Trust me." Rachel tells Tina as Brittany is putting on the dress and stepping in front of the mirror.

"Tina it's perfect." She does a little twirl. The fabric floats around her. It's simple, a light pink, chiffon, baby doll dress. It wasn't something she'd normally wear, and to be honest if she'd costumed herself she wasn't totally sure what she would have picked but it wouldn't have been this. But it was, completely perfect. It was sleeveless, and had an empire waistline with a v-neck. It was short, a little higher than mid thigh. It could almost be lingerie if it wasn't so pretty. It showed a lot of skin without being slutty at all. Which was important because it was not that kind of dance. Not that kind of song. "I love it. You are amazing." Tina smiled bashfully. The theatre students weren't usually this appreciative.

"It really is wonderful Tina. I haven't seen the dance yet, Brittany has been pretty secretive. But it looks wonderful on her."

"I think so too. Thank you guys. Britt could you do just a little part of the dance, especially some of the floor stuff I want to make sure it falls back down when you stand up." They backed up and Brittany did a little piece of the dance that involved her flipping upside down and then laying on the floor for a few seconds before standing back up. When she went upside down the dress lifted all the way to the bottom of her boobs but didn't go over them, which was ideal. But as soon as she stood up the silky material slid back down. "Perfect. I'm really glad I got to help you with this. Keep me in mind if solo's ever come back up."

"Always Tina. And I will recommend you to everyone. This is amazing!" She squealed and jumped up and down clapping her hands before flinging herself at Tina in a hug. Tina was mildly surprised but knowing Brittany at least as well as she does, she knew this was par for the course.

Now Brittany was really excited. It was starting to feel more real and in just a few days she'd get to perform it for the rest of the people in the show and the professors. But most of all, she was excited to show Santana and the rest of her friends.

The night before first dress Brittany was a ball of energy. Santana had insisted she sleep over, unconvinced that Brittany would even bother to lay down if she had stayed in her dorm. At least Santana knew if she was with her, she would at least be laying down which might lead to sleep a little easier than Brittany bouncing around her dorm building. When they were getting ready for bed Santana wanted so badly to touch Brittany. For Brittany to touch her. They had not had the time and energy to do much lately. And when they did it was quick, in part because it was infrequent but also because they were tired and they knew that they had to be up early the next day or they still had homework to do. She wasn't worried, she just really wanted to spend the time making Brittany feel really good. She was hopeful for Thanksgiving break.

They had abandoned all formality of pajamas, not that there had ever really been a formality to begin with. Most of the time they just wore boxers to bed (usually always belonging to Santana). Sometimes sports bras but more often not. They both found that the exposed skin was preferable. Santana was in bed and Brittany was in the middle of the room talking through something she'd been confused about in class that day. Santana was trying to focus but Brittany was also stretching. Naked or close enough to it. "Baby please get in bed I can't watch you do that. We need to go to sleep."

Brittany looked at her with genuine confusion. "Did I do something wrong?" Santana laughed at her innocent expression.

"Britt what would you do if I was standing in front of you with just boxers on, doing stretches and we hadn't been able to have any kind of sexy time in at least two weeks."

"I would kneel down and blo—Oh. Yeah. OK. Sorry babe!" She jumped onto the bed and onto Santana. "We don't have to sleep. We can do that. I can do that to you."

"No. You need to at least settle down and sleep and if we start I don't think I can stop. I want you, for like hours. And we don't have that kind of time so just come here." She opened up her arms and Brittany dove into them. They were her favorite place to be. She snuggled into Santana's naked chest immediately laying kisses where she assumed her heart was. Santana laughed and started dragging her fingers through Brittany's silky hair. Brittany felt herself relax in a way that only Santana could manage to make her right now.

"Sing to me?"

"Ok. Any requests?" Brittany shook her head no. "Hmm." She started humming the beginning notes of a song. "The first time ever I saw your face, I thought the sun rose in your eyes." she kept singing. Since she had started developing feelings, or lets be honest, had been smacked in the face with feelings for Brittany this song had come up in her head a lot. "Like the trembling heart of a captive bird that was there at my command, my love." She felt moisture in her eyes. This song felt so honest. She wished she could be. She wished she could just tilt Brittany's face up and tell her that she loved her. Desperately so. It wasn't uncertainty that prevented her from saying anything, she might not have ever been so certain of anything as she was about how much she loved Brittany. She was just terrified to scare Brittany away. She knew the girl had gone through so much and she wouldn't blame her if she didn't think very much of love. She didn't want to ruin what they had which was already so close to perfect.

Brittany felt herself drifting off toward the end of the song, Santana's fingers tracing hearts into her back. She could tell that's what they were. She still couldn't stop the internal battle with herself over whether or not it was to soon to tell Santana how she felt. She didn't want Santana to think that she wasn't sure of her feelings. But she was so sure. She nodded into Santana's chest. Resolute. She'd tell her soon. Soon as the moment came up. She let herself drift off to sleep as soon as Santana started into another song that she didn't know. She did know, however, that she never wanted to fall asleep any other way.

When they woke up the next morning Santana was proud that Brittany had slept the entire night. She wasn't sure why she felt proud but she did. That somehow she could keep Brittany calm and safe enough for her to sleep through the night even with the amount of anxiety and excitement that was running through the girl. Brittany stretched out on top of her, laying kisses all over her neck and face. Brittany was always a morning person. She woke up and was ready to be active in minutes. Santana wasn't like that at all. She'd gotten used to having to be because when Brittany stayed over (which happened at least four nights a week now) she would get up and drive Brittany in so she didn't have to walk in the cold. Most of Brittany's classes were earlier than Santana's except for one day.

After several minutes of ridiculous stretches Brittany bounced out of bed. Literally bounced. "I think I'm going to walk in San. Get out some of the energy. So you stay in bed."

"You sure B?" Santana mumbled sleepily, peering at her girlfriend over the pillow she had her face pushed into.

"Yeah. I feel buzzy right now. I won't be able to sit through class if I don't walk in."

"Ok." Santana watched Brittany flit around the room gathering clothes, a mixture of her own and Santana's. Santana was practically salivating over Brittany's naked body by time she finally put clothes on. She ran off and brushed her teeth and came back in draping herself over Santana and kissing her for all she was worth. "I'm gonna stay at my place tonight. But dinner?" Santana nodded kissing her again. "Ok. Gotta go. Gonna be late. See you later."

"Bye baby" Santana said. Half still dazed with tiredness, half arousal. Brittany left and Santana got herself out of bed anyway. She needed to get into the shower and do something about the morning wood that was showing no signs of going down on it's own.

Brittany thinks she might as well not have even gone to class for all she heard and remembered. The entire day flew. Dinner with Santana was filled with nervous chatter and almost no eating for Brittany. Santana had forced her to eat a banana and a few bites of cereal but that was the best she could do. Brittany walked over to the dance building after dropping her stuff off at her dorm room and getting a good luck lecture from Rachel. She saw Mike as soon as she walked in and immediately went over to him. "I am so nervous Mike. So so so so so nervous. What if they hate it?" She said referring to her professors and the other upper classman that would be giving her feedback after tonight. She started tearing at the plastic covering her costume. Mike stilled her hands.

"Stop Britt. I'm your friend right?" Of course he was. One of her best even. She nodded. "I would have told you if they weren't going to like it. I've been here for a year, I've got a general idea of what they like. Ok? Calm down. They'll give you feed back and you don't even have to take their feed back. It's just suggestion. I've seen plenty of choreographers nod and smile and then ignore it all anyway. So just calm down and show them what you've done. I'm already so proud of you, you should be too." Brittany looked at him for a second and Mike wasn't sure if he'd said something to offend her. And then she, in signature Brittany fashion, launched herself on him into a hug. Some people are enthusiastic huggers. Brittany hugs with her entire body. Her entire existence really. Thrown right at you and trusts you'll catch her. And he did. And spun her around for good measure.

"Ok. I got this. I got this." And she did. Her dance was third to go, Mike had been in a piece right before hers and was in another after hers, both done by intermission. But he snuck out to the house to watch her piece. He knew her choreography. He'd seen it several times and, despite literally bouncing off the walls backstage before she went on, when she did she was as controlled and beautiful as she needed to be. He agreed with her assessment that the costume Tina had made her was perfect. But Tina was kind of perfect, he smiled to himself. Sap. When the piece was finished and she was in her final position he glanced over at the professors and noticed none of them were even talking. But they all had not so subtle smiles on their faces and he's pretty sure he saw one of them quickly wipe a tear from his eye. Mike understood that was his reaction too. The dance was full of an emotion he understood very well. He was interested to see Santana's reaction to it.

He told Brittany that she did amazing but that did nothing to calm her fears for the talk back session afterwards. After they were all done and changed they sat in the house with the professors standing in front of them with their scary clipboards and their judging faces. Brittany wrapped her arm around Mike's, who was sitting next to her. He just shook is head. She really had nothing to worry about he thought.

They started with the first dance and they professors talked about things they might improve, and things they liked. Then they put it out to the other choreographers and dancers for any critique or suggestion. The first piece was well received for the most part, a few small suggestions but nothing terrible. The students also liked it and their comments reflected that. The piece before hers wasn't so lucky. They told the girl that she was underprepared and that she hadn't thought through the piece enough and wasn't giving her dancers enough instruction. Some of the students thought it looked sloppy. Brittany started to panic when they were ending the other student's critique. Her breathing quickened and Mike took her hand and told her to calm down. She tried. And failed.

"Brittany. I am surprised." Here it comes. They hate it. They aren't even going to let her dance it in the show. "That was amazing." Wait. What? "We never expected you to fail. We wouldn't have given you the opportunity if we thought you couldn't handle it. But I, for one, was definitely not expecting something like what we saw. I thought for sure what we saw from your audition was the best of what we were going to get, and it was good, don't get me wrong. But what you just delivered Brittany was exceptional." She felt her eyes widen. She had done it? She had done well?

"I agree Brittany. I have you in more classes so I know your style and your work ethic a little better than some of the other professors. But you even exceeded my expectations. The emotions you portrayed were so simple and honest. I didn't feel bogged down by story. I rarely feel moved by pieces that I would describe as happy, but I was. There was a perfect underlying current of fear, trust, and determination that made the over-all feeling of love, that I felt like you were trying to make us feel, feel so much deeper. Real depth Brittany. Congratulations."

"I was probably the most skeptical of letting you do it. I agreed because your audition was simply the best prepared. I wasn't sure how you'd handle the pressure and opportunity to be honest." With Santana's help. Brittany answered in her head. This critique was the one she was the most nervous about. The chair of the department and internationally known ballet dancer. She was notoriously brutally honest. "You seemed the most prepared, and your dancing was as beautiful as the choreography. You are the youngest choreographer in this room by two years. And you choreographed yourself which is always more difficult for the dancer side of you. But you achieved something that I would gladly put into a professional showcase as it stands right now. You've set your bar high Brittany, but after what I've seen I have no doubt that you will continue to reach and surpass the already high standards." Mike gripped her hand harder and she was glad he did or she would have been positive she was dreaming. After her professor had finished, they all clapped and then asked the students. Some of them had really nice things to say, a few said things that felt really nit picky, and honestly just felt like jealousy. Even Brittany could pick that out. Over all it was about half and half as far as people that were praised and people who weren't. But nobody was praised as highly as Brittany. She felt like she was in the twilight zone.

When she left the building she hugged Mike again and ran off, pulling her phone out of her bag to call Santana. After a few rings she picked up and was excited to hear about how it had gone. She was nervous for Brittany, not having seen the dance yet per Brittany's request, she just assumed that like most things Brittany did, it was amazing. But she knew art was subjective and she'd gotten plenty of bad critiques even though she knew she herself was talented.

Brittany told her everything they had said that she could remember because she was honestly so excited her brain felt like it was just spinning in circles. Santana reacted perfectly. Gasping and squealing and clapping at every comment. "My girlfriend is the best in the world!" She exclaimed loudly.

"I dunno about that San"

"Well I do. You're amazing. I'm so excited to see it. Are you sure I can't come to dress rehearsal tomorrow?"

"No! I want you to see the final performance Friday night. I think I will be best at that one. I always dance something the best the last time I think I'm going to do it. Like I've gotta give it every single thing I have left."

"Ok. Just… save a little something for me for afterwards huh? We've got that great hotel waiting for us."

"Oh don't you worry. I've got so much saved up for that you don't even know." Santana desperately hoped they were both talking about the same thing. Because masturbating is a lot less fun when you have the hottest girlfriend in the world but you're both too busy.

They talked for a little longer about the rest of Santana's day and some of the other pieces in the concert. They talked until Brittany's phone was about to die, they said their goodbyes and goodnights and promised to text each other before they fell asleep. When she got back to her room Rachel was still awake and excitedly waiting for Brittany to tell her how it went. Her and Rachel had gotten even closer since her phone call with her mother, and Brittany couldn't be happier about that situation. Rachel, it turns out, is a really good friend. Sometimes she can be self centered but mostly she doesn't even realize she's doing it and as soon as you point it out to her, she's eager to correct it. Brittany gets it. Rachel is her father's whole world. She's used to being the center of attention. And to be honest, Brittany doesn't even really mind when Rachel is being selfish. But in times like this when she had something important going on, Rachel was the perfect audience.

Rachel was excited about all of Brittany's good critiques and couldn't wait to see the dance on Friday. She was going to the earlier one so that she could catch a bus back to Ohio where she was from, but she had promised that she would type up a detailed report for Brittany on the bus back. Brittany smiled and thanked her. Rachel thought Brittany was like the sister she never had. She gave her someone to take care of sometimes, and felt like Brittany had her back when she needed it too. Brittany mostly just thought Rachel was wonderful, lectures rants and early morning ballads included, and thanked whatever computer system that randomly put the two of them together.

They next day had gone mostly the same, except for nerves though Brittany was pretty much just excited. Sure, to dance for tonight, but mostly to dance for Santana the following evening. Tonight's dress rehearsal would be attended by most of the dance department, all required to see it, and looking to see the show for free if it was an option. A lot of people came up to her afterward and told her she did a good job, and Mike beamed at her like a proud big brother every time it happened. A few people said some not nice things, including a girl in one of her classes who, while walking past Brittany, mentioned loud enough for her and Mike to hear that the girl thought Brittany might be gaining weight and maybe her dress should be longer. Brittany shook it off because she was positive she had not gained weight. If anything, she'd lost it. Something Santana pointed out occasionally and would then try to feed her everything she could find. She called Santana just as she had the night before and told her how it had gone, omitting the girl's comment, attempting to avoid Santana's predictable reaction of wanting to beat the girl up, and wanting to come feed Brittany cheeseburgers. After the call she finished packing for break, they were leaving right after the dance concert tomorrow night even though they technically didn't have to be out until Monday evening. Both girls had decided to skip their Monday class in favor of a little extra break. Everyone was going to do it anyway, they'd told themselves at least.

Brittany realized at about three in the morning that she probably should have stayed with Santana that night. She couldn't sleep, like at all. But it was too late to show up there. She got up and quietly went through her bag to get out her ipod and pushed the ear buds into her ear and pressed play on her "S+B" play list. She listened and focused on distracting herself with her favorite topic, she didn't think about dance. Just Santana. All kind of things about Santana. She focused on how much better existing felt in Santana's arms and eventually, after an hour, she fell asleep.

When she woke up the next morning before her alarm clock, she thought the only option might be running, even though it was cold out. Then she went to class and as per the last few days, heard and retained nothing. She did her best to take good notes so Santana could help her later, but she just couldn't make herself go into learning mode. She ate lunch with Santana and forced down a chicken salad that Santana had to make for her because she couldn't even stop bouncing around enough to do that properly. Santana mostly just laughed. Brittany deserved to be this excited, she had worked so hard.

After lunch she headed over to the dance building to get ready for performance number one. Mike laughed as Brittany ran up and down the stairs. She checked her phone right before she had to turn it off for the performance and had several good luck texts from Santana and one picture message of Rachel in her seat pointing to Brittany's name in her program. Kurt and Blaine were also in the picture. She was glad they got on with Rachel so well, and that they had decided to come support her. She shut her phone off and put her headphones on and put herself in the zone. The performance went without a hitch. She almost wished she had one of the later pieces so she didn't have so much time to sit around and do nothing afterwards. She watched most of the pieces again from the wings, settled well out of the way. After intermission Mike thumb wrestled with her for a while. And then curtain call came up and they all went back on. When she ran forward to bow she heard her own little cheering section erupt. Rachel, to be out done by no one, was of course the loudest. She felt tears come to her eyes. Nobody had ever come just for her before. Not since she was little and her parents came to keep up appearance.

She went backstage and changed as quick as she could so she could go meet Rachel and the boys. When she walked out to the lobby she was hit with a tiny ball of Rachel Berry. Rachel praised her for so long that she couldn't stop blushing and eventually had to hush her. "At least you won't have to write that report now." Brittany joked.

"Oh I fully intend on writing it. I just need a moment to process it before I put it all into written form. Expect it no later than eleven tonight." Rachel responded resolutely. Brittany laughed and told her ok. The boys also told both her and Mike that they had been amazing. Tina loved it and told her that it was even better than the last time she'd seen it. Over all it was wonderful. But it served to just make her that much more excited for Santana to see it. She went back to the dressing rooms and grabbed her phone and turned it on. She saw texts from Santana, mostly goofy little things. One a picture of her in the practice room. And then the last one saying to text her when she was done, she is bringing her some food that will settle ok before the next performance. She texted her and said she was out and that they could meet at her dorm. She started walking back in that direction, checking the rest of her messages. She had one from her mother. She hesitated but told herself no matter what it said, it didn't matter.

Except this time it did.

From Mom: Brittany I hope your dance thing is going well. I just wanted to give you a little heads up that I think Tommy is planning on driving up to surprise you, and bring you back to his house for Thanksgiving. Isn't that nice of him? I just wanted to tell you so you could look your best when you saw him. –Mom

Brittany panicked. Full fledge couldn't breathe panicked for about two minutes. But then she tried to calm herself down. Santana was coming. Santana would know what to do. She would be ok. He wouldn't even be able to get to her. She sat down on the steps of the dorm building and waited for Santana. She didn't have to wait long before she pulled up and got out of the car smiling, carrying a bag. Her smile quickly fell though when she took in Brittany's still slightly panicked expression.

"Britt are you ok? I thought you said the show went well?" Brittany shook her head yes.

"It went ok. Just, something happened. I got a text. And I don't know what to do." Brittany felt the panic creeping back in. Santana reached out for her hand and pulled her up and led her inside to get her out of the cold, which she knew was bad for her muscles if she was going to be dancing tonight. Santana signed herself in and led the near despondent Brittany up to her room. She unlocked the door after taking the keys out of Brittany's hand and went into the room. She breathed a sigh of relief that Rachel wasn't there.

"Ok. Talk to me." She tried to keep the panic out of her own voice. She didn't like when Brittany got like this. It wasn't ever a good sign. Brittany didn't say a word she just took out her phone and handed it to Santana. Santana took it, confused, and unlocked it. There was already a message loaded onto the screen. She read it carefully before dropping the phone onto Brittany's bed and shaking her head. "No. No. This isn't going to happen. He can't come anywhere near you." The note of panic in Santana's voice snapped Brittany out of hers. She wasn't the only one scared here.

"I have to dance San." Santana took a deep breath.

"Yeah you do. OK. What do we do?" She looked up at Brittany, eyes desperate.

"Maybe he won't come. She said she thinks."

"I think that means she's pretty sure. Well." She took a deep breath. Focus. Logic. "Me, Sam, Mercedes, and Quinn are all going to be there tonight. I can tell them that you and I have to leave right after, and we can meet you at like, the back door? That way they can tell you you're amazing, but you don't ever have to go out to the lobby which is where I'm sure he'll expect you to go afterwards right?" Brittany nodded. This could work. "Then we'll just leave right away. And if for some reason he comes out there, we will all be there too. So he won't be able to get to you. Ok?" Brittany nodded. It made sense. She just wishes it wouldn't have come up at all. "I'm going to take care of you. Ok? He won't hurt you. He won't even talk to you." She took Brittany into her arms and held her tight. Brittany nodded into her shoulder. "But for now, lets get you some food and liquid in you because I'm not going to let him cause you to hurt yourself tonight." She pulled out of her bag two containers of home made chicken noodle soup, good bread, and two bottles of Gatorade.

Brittany tried not to focus on her ex being anywhere near her. And for the most part it worked. Santana's powers of distraction were magic. It was getting to be time that she had to get back to the dance building, and Santana wanted to go get ready. But while Santana had been doing everything she could to distract her girlfriend, she herself was focused on the problem at hand.

"Britt I don't want to bring this back up but could you please show me a picture of him? Just in case I see him or something." Brittany started to protest but Santana already knew what she was concerned about. "I promise I won't approach him. I would just feel better knowing." Brittany nodded and pulled her laptop out logging onto her almost never used Facebook account. She went through her sister's page who, Santana noted, looked like a bigger chested, mean, version of Brittany. She wasn't surprised that her sister was still friends with Tommy and clicked on his profile. Santana thought he looked exactly like she'd pictured him. Mr. All American with blonde hair and brown eyes. He didn't look massive or anything. If she couldn't take him, Sam definitely could. And if not Sam, then definitely 'Cedes. She felt better knowing who she was looking out for.

When Santana left the dorm room and got to her car she called Mike.

"Hey Santana."

"I need you to do me a favor."

"Uh, ok. Yeah. What's up?"

"Brittany's ex boyfriend is coming up tonight, and it's not my story to tell but he's bad bad news. So if you happen to see some guy you don't know trying to talk to Brittany get her away from him. Ok? And call me right away. I will leave my phone on vibrate during the show." Mike had always suspected that Brittany had issues at home and in past relationships. But they hadn't ever really discussed it.

"Yeah. I got it. I'll do everything I can."

"Thanks Mike. I have to keep her safe." He could sense the fear in her voice. Whoever this guy was must be bad seriously bad for Brittany. And that wasn't ok by him.

"I know Santana. I've got both of your backs. Ok? Try to relax and I will see you after the show."

"Ok. Bye." They hung up and Santana went back to her apartment to get ready. She continued to text Brittany frequently.

When it was almost time for them to be back at the dance building, Mike waited outside of Brittany's dorm for her. He'd just play it off like he just wanted to walk in with her. As soon as she walked out and saw him she shook her head. "Santana called you huh?"

He ran his hands over his hair. "Yeah, she's a little worried. Which made me a little worried. No harm in walking you over right?"

"None." She smiled and they walked over and did their best not to talk about the elephant in the room. She did tell him that she'd tell him about it another time. He accepted that and asked no further questions, he was just genuinely concerned. They got into the dance building without cause and went through all of the normal preparations. She was eager for the show to start because as soon as it did, they'd be in the clear.

Santana felt completely on edge. She opted not to tell the others about what was going on, not wanting to upset them and cause them more concern then they already had at her unusual behavior. She hated him. She hated him for taking this night away from Brittany and making it about him. She hates him for causing her to focus on anything that isn't exclusively her girlfriend's big dance performance. She hates him. But she didn't see him anywhere. Maybe he'd decided not to come? Maybe he couldn't get tickets or he got lost. Because by time they were seated in their seats there was still no sign of him and Santana was grateful. She sent Brittany a quick good luck text and that they were all proud of her before putting her phone on vibrate and tucking it under her thigh where she was sure to feel it.

When the music started up for the first piece Santana really tried to focus. She wanted, when this was all said and done, to be able to talk about the pieces with Brittany, to show her that she'd paid attention to the entire thing not just her. But that didn't look like it was going to happen. She watched, but was constantly glancing around the audience anytime it was bright enough to see, just to see if she could spot him. The longer she went without seeing him, the more nervous and better she felt at the same time. She was conflicted. She wanted to be hopeful but way more than she wanted anything, she needed to keep Brittany safe. And he was the opposite of safe. She tried to watch the second piece. It didn't seem very good. It felt random and she just didn't really like it. But she knew that Brittany came next and she was determined to focus on every second of Brittany up there. The lights dimmed and a spotlight came up on stage but there was no one in it. Santana panicked internally, why wasn't Brittany there? But then the music started and the lights started to come up on the rest of the stage and there was Brittany.

Santana had noticed the song the first few seconds in. It was Kate Nash's Nicest Thing. It was one of her favorite songs. But now she loved it even more as she watched Brittany dance across the stage telling a very clear story of wanting to be loved, and then loving. Santana was spell bound. She looked so beautiful. So simple and elegant and beautiful. The most beautiful person in the world, and she was all hers. Santana vowed to never take that fact for granted. The longer she progressed into the song, the more eye contact Brittany made with her. She wondered if that was choreographed into the dance, Brittany had chosen her seat. All she knew for certain is that Brittany had taken her breath away.

Tommy was sat off to stage left. The seats were shit. But he had been a little late so there wasn't a lot he could do. Didn't matter, he wasn't here for some stupid dance thing. He was here to take Brittany back. When he saw her on stage he watched her for a few minutes before noticing that she was paying a lot of attention to someone in the audience. Focused even. He looked over to where she was looking and saw some blonde guy. He knew that must be the guy. Well, fuck that. He was going to leave at intermission and wait for her out back so that he could talk to her first. Talk or whatever he needed to do. She'd beg for him back probably. But in case she didn't, he was prepared for whatever. She was hot and didn't put up a lot of fight like some of the girls he'd met at school and he was sick of that shit.

When Brittany got off stage she was gasping for breath. She had literally danced her heart out and just sent it all over Santana. She gave it everything. But she was still buzzed. It was easily her best performance yet. Mike was right off stage to catch her in a big hug, not caring that she was dripping with sweat. "You were brilliant Brittany. Amazing." He kissed her forehead and they stood off stage watching the next piece before Mike had to get into position for his final dance. After he got done and they had a silent mini celebration back stage they decided to head outside because it was intermission, they were both done and it was so hot backstage they could barely breath.

Santana thought Mike was awesome. Not nearly as amazing as Brittany but she might be a tiny bit biased. But he was definitely good. After he got off stage the house lights started to come up. Intermission. Santana looked down to check her phone really quickly, nothing. Good. She looked up and watched people walking back towards the lobby. But then she noticed someone walking up towards one of the exits closer to the stage. Her eyes widened. She was sure it was him. She couldn't see him very well but she was positive. She got up and told the others she'd be back and headed off in the same direction. She watched the kid slip out of the door but before she could get there one of the ushers told her she couldn't go out that door and she needed to go through the lobby. She frantically tried to argue that she needed to go through that door, but he wasn't budging and she was wasting time. She turned around, and despite her four-inch heals, she ran as fast as she could up the aisle.

From the back of the house Santana's brothers watched the exchange. They had come to surprise Brittany and Santana. They wanted to support their sister's girlfriend too. But this didn't feel right. And ever the protective older brothers, they got out of their seats and followed behind her.

"Britt I gotta go grab my phone really quick before we go outside." Mike told her before heading toward the men's dressing room. He wanted to send Santana a text telling her all was well.

"Ok I will just meet you out there. You'll just be a minute right?" There was no way he'd be back there. It's not easy to get back there especially from the lobby doors and there were supposed to be ushers blocking the rear exits. She opened the door and a few of the other dancers walked past her going back in to prep for the second half. Brittany was excited for next year when she might get to be in more than one piece, but grateful that she had been given the opportunity she had. The cold air felt good against her still over heated skin. She twirled around letting her dress flow out from around her again, smiling. She really loved this. She wondered if there would be occasion for her to wear it again.

"Brittany." She stopped. Her breath caught. Not now. How did he? Don't turn around Brittany. Run. Do something.

But she couldn't. She stood there. And he walked around into her view. "Don't be rude aren't you going to say hello? A kiss maybe?" he sneered at her. That disgusting sneer on that face that she hated. She hated him. And she wasn't going to take this.

"Go away Tommy I don't want you anywhere near me." He shook his head.

"Don't be like that. I'm here to give you another chance." She started shaking. Mike would be here any second.

"I don't want any chances. I am happy now. I am seeing someone." She thought her voice sounded brave. Good. She didn't want him to think she was scared. She was, but not as scared as she thought she'd be. Mostly she was mad. And a little disgusted.

"Oh I could tell. I saw you practically drooling all over him up on stage. Was it that blonde fucker?" His voice started to rise. He was getting angry. Brittany needed to get away from him quickly. She briefly thought about running but he was faster. Wait, blonde?

"No. She's not blonde." Mistake. His eyes widened and his face started to get red.

"She? You left me for a girl?"

"I didn't leave you for anyone. I left you because of everything you did, I didn't love you. I hate you." She screamed at him.

"Now you're with some dyke?"

"DON'T CALL HER THAT!" Brittany could feel her anger rising. She was so mad. All the anger she should have felt over him was coming to the surface now and she wanted to hit him. She heard the back door open and close somewhere in the back of her mind but she was to focused.

"Bri-oh god." Mike ran down the stairs and in between the two of them. "You need to get out of here right now man or I will call the cops." But Tommy didn't even acknowledge him. Not really.

"Oh are you sleeping with this guy too?" Mike heard a growl come out of Brittany and stepped to the side to block her from going after the guy in front of him. "You little fucking whore. You disgust me. Have you slept with all of this campus already? Plus your little dyke?" The guy yelled at Brittany. Mike was gearing up to hit this fool when he felt Brittany dive under one of his arms toward the guy, but before he could catch her and pull her back, Tommy had wound up and back handed her so hard she fell straight to the ground in tears. That's when he heard one of the scariest noises he'd ever heard, Santana Lopez was here and was screaming a mixture of Spanish and English as she ran over towards them.

Santana hadn't been able to figure out how to get to the back. It was a fucking maze of bushes and everything it the world set up to stand between her and Brittany and she needed to get to Brittany now. She heard voices, what sounded like Brittany yelling, she ran towards them and got there just in time to see Brittany dive under Mikes arm and get slapped hard by the fucker stood before them. She lost her mind. She started screaming and running towards him, she stepped out of both of her heels to get to him faster when she felt something or someone grab her around the middle so hard it knocked the wind out of her. She started screaming and kicking at whoever it was to get at Brittany. Brittany who needed her.

Luis was glad Santana hadn't thought to kick her shoes off sooner because he was pretty sure without them she would have beat him over to whatever was going on. He had no idea what this was all about but he knows that his baby sister is now flailing around trying to get to Brittany who just got hit by some guy. "Guys go get him." He yelled at his other brothers.

"Way ahead of you." Gabe yelled as the rest of them ran towards Brittany, Mike, and Tommy. Brittany was only mildly aware of what was going on around her. Her ears were ringing from being hit so hard right near the temple. All of the old feelings he used to inspire in her, fear, hatred, self loathing started to creep back in. Tommy watched her on the ground before him with a satisfied smile on his face. He was winding up to kick her for good measure because she deserved it, whore.

Miguel saw Tommy's leg go back and saw what he was about to do. No fucking way. He ran faster and got there before he could kick Brittany. He grabbed him by the collar and threw him to the ground away from her. "Hell no asshole. I don't know who the fuck you think you are but you are about to be in a world of hurt." Two of his other brothers showed up at that moment picking Tommy up off the ground. He looked around like he was going to threaten them but after seeing their size and the fact that there were three, he thought better of it and turned to run.

"Oh no you coward." Diego caught him by the arm. "Let's go over here around the other side of the building and talk this out." He started to drag him away followed by the other two boys.

"Santana calm down." Santana was still fighting Luis even though she'd just seen her other brothers drag Tommy away. She needed to go after him. She needed to hurt him. Needed to protect Brittany. "Santana stop fighting me. They've got him. Brittany needs you." Brittany needs me. She thought. Brittany. She looked over at the blonde who was still kneeling on the ground with her face in her hands as Mike hovered over her unsure of what to do. Santana immediately stopped struggling and Luis dropped her. She scrambled towards Brittany, not even registering the freezing ground on her bare feet. She ran over and fell to the ground next to Brittany.

She put her hand on Brittany's back and felt Brittany flinch away from her. "Brittany it's me. Shhh. I'm here. He's gone." She whispered as comfortingly as she could through her own tears. "Baby come back to me." She reached down and gently pulled one of Brittany's hands away from her face, there was a half second of resistance before she felt Brittany look up at her, and then climb quickly into her lap burying her red face into Santana's hair. Brittany was sobbing. Santana didn't know what to do so she let Brittany cry. She held her as tight as she could and Brittany clutched desperately to her. After a few minutes Brittany's sobs started to slow.

"Did he hurt you?" she half whimpered half choked out. Santana then realized that Brittany hadn't seen her brothers. Wait. Her brothers were here. So many questions.

"No. Miguel Gabe and Diego took him away. You're ok. They will protect both of us." Brittany nodded and then lifted her hand to where Tommy had slapped her. "I'm so sorry he hit you and I wasn't here to stop him baby." Santana felt tears well up in her eyes again. Brittany took a minute to just look at her before she pressed her lips gently to trembling pouting ones and shook her head. She knew better than to tell Santana that it wasn't her job to protect her, because she gets it. If Tommy had hit Santana, she would have killed him. She is there to protect Santana too. She gets it. She also gets that if she would kill him for hitting her, then she should probably be just as angry about getting hit herself. But she was proud. She had stood up to him. She'd only gotten hit because she went after him. He probably would have hit her anyway, but it was because she was brave that it happened.

"I probably shouldn't have lunged at him."

"Yeah, why did you do that?"

"He was calling me a whore and calling you names. I wasn't going to let him do that." Brittany sniffed, still trying to stop the tears. She felt ok. There was lingering fear but she knew she could stand up for herself. And when he knocked her down, there were lots of other people here to stand up for her too. She wiped the tears away from her eyes before reaching forward and wiping them from Santana's eyes too.

"Does it hurt?" Brittany touched the tender spot at the side of her head and nodded her head yes. "I want to kill him. I should have been here, but I'm proud of you."

"You couldn't have known, and as soon as you knew you were here. With your brothers? When did they get here?"

"No idea. We'll have to ask them. Are you ok Brittany?"

"I'm a little shook up, but I'm ok."

"Do you want me to take you home, we can cuddle. I'll make hot chocolate." Brittany shook her head no.

"No. He's not ruining anything else for me. I'm going to go do curtain call, and ask your brothers why they are here. And then I'm going to say hi to Sam and 'Cedes and Quinn, and then you and I are going to New York City for our epic date. Just as planned. He's not ruining anything. Ok?'

"Ok B." Santana kissed Brittany gently before taking her face into her hands and examining where he had hit her. It might bruise, but she'd be fine. She was saying she was ok, and Santana had to believe her. And she was right, he shouldn't get to ruin anything for them. They sat for a few more minutes, everyone around them trying to not interrupt the moment between them as Santana held Brittany to her as tight as she could.

"I'm sorry Britt, San, but curtain call is coming soon." Mike said hesitantly. He'd heard her say she wanted to go back out for it and didn't want her to miss the opportunity. She deserved some applause.

"Can you see a mark? Do I have cry eyes?" She asked as Santana pulled her to her feet, they were both shivering but had at some point that they were only vaguely aware of, been wrapped in two giant coats that smelled of her brothers. She pulled Brittany's hair so it covered the red spot on her face, but not before she placed a gentle kiss to it.

"This is gross I'm sorry but it has to be done." She licked both of her thumbs and ran them under Brittany's eyes to get the smudged makeup off. After she'd done the best she could to make Brittany look like she hadn't been crying she and mike went back inside. "Do you guys know where my shoes are?" Miguel handed them to her. They looked tiny in his hands. When she was little, she had this idea that her big brothers would, by magic or super hero powers she wasn't sure which, always be there when she needed them to be. She wasn't wrong she guesses. She takes Luis's hand, which still and has always dwarfed hers. "I didn't hurt you did I?"

"You've got some pretty powerful kicks baby sis, but no. I'm ok. Lets see if we can't get back in to clap for Brittany?" And they, as stealthily as four giant men can, snuck into the side entrance just in time to see the lights come back up and people start lining up. Santana politely clapped for the first two groups, but as soon as Brittany came on she opened her mouth to cheer as loud as she could but was drowned out by the sea of noise that was her brothers. She thought she might have never loved them more as she did listening to them cheer for Brittany just as loud as they cheered for her.

Brittany looked out into the audience and saw Sam, Quinn, and Mercedes stand up and clap for her with slightly confused expressions. And she heard the roar of sound that was Santana and her brothers. But what she didn't expect was lots of other people that she didn't know slowly rising and giving her a standing ovation. She smiled as big as she could before heading back to let everyone else take their bows. Why they were waiting out back for Brittany as planned, Santana asked something that she hadn't thought about yet. "Where's Tommy?"

"Oh you don't have to worry about that sis. We suspect when he wakes up sometime tomorrow in his car, he'll be apt to never speak to her again. And if he comes anywhere near her, you call me. You hear me? Seriously Santana, if you think either of you are ever in danger, from anything, you have to call us. Ok? That's why you have big brothers so that we can help stop things like this from happening." Apparently protectiveness was genetic. When Brittany came out with Mike they all cheered for her again. Sam had tried to ask questions but Santana had told him that she'd talk to him about it after break, and that everything was ok. All three of them had nodded. Brittany smiled and ran down the stairs to hug them all.

Everyone told her and Mike how amazing she was, and she was glad that Brittany was getting all the praise she deserved but she desperately wanted to leave and take Brittany away from this place. They needed it.

Her brothers, turns out, had come up to surprise her and Brittany and to see the dance concert. Which is a good thing, Brittany thinks, because without them she thinks Santana might have gotten hurt and she couldn't live with that. But she pushed bad thoughts out. There was no need for them. Everything was ok, she just had to keep telling herself that. Sam, Quinn, and Mercedes left after the girls promised to text them once they got to the hotel ok. Luis offered to follow them to the hotel in case anything went wrong but Santana assured them they would be fine and would call if anything were to come up. Brittany hugged them and told them thank you and she was glad to be spending the holiday with them. They left too. Santana opened the passenger door for Brittany and kissed her gently before closing the door. They stopped at her dorm to grab her bag and started the drive to New York, and their hotel.

The drive there didn't feel nearly as long as it was. They'd stopped and got drive through food because Santana could hear Brittany's stomach growling. They sang to each other and laughed and talked about nothing serious. The hotel was beautiful. Brittany swore she'd come to the lobby to look around tomorrow, but tonight, she only wanted to look at Santana. When they got up to the room Brittany slipped the lock over on the door. "You ready for bed B? I bet you're tired."

She turned around and was met with a look from Brittany that said very clearly that she was not tired. "I want to shower." She responded. Santana nodded. She hoped she meant together, that's what she'd wanted it to mean but she also felt bad suggesting anything like that after the night Brittany had just had. "Shower with me?" Questions answered.

Brittany walked over without waiting for an answer and peeled Santana's coat off of her shoulders before unzipping the zipper. Santana stepped out of her own heals as Brittany pulled the tight dress down her body. She hadn't been wearing a bra, so now she stood in front of Brittany in just her compression shorts. She spun Brittany around and unzipped her dress as well before pulling it from Brittany and unhooking her bra. They helped each other out of the rest of their clothes before Brittany took Santana's hand and pulled her into the gorgeous bathroom. Brittany started the shower that was big enough for at least five people and pulled Santana in once the water was a good temperature.

They took their time washing each other's hair and lovingly massaging skin with soap until they were both clean. They had been touching and kissing the entire time, so it was no surprise that Santana was hard. Brittany hadn't avoided touching her dick, but she hadn't touched her yet in the way that Santana wanted her too. Then she felt Brittany subtly pushing her into a corner of the shower stall and lowering herself to the ground in front of Santana. Seeing her like this would never ever be any less exciting than it is right now, she thought. She gasped as Brittany grasped her lightly and gave her shaft a few pumps before, while looking into Santana's eyes the entire time, took her tip into her mouth sucking gently. "Fuck Britt." It had been too long. Brittany took more of her into her mouth, sucking firmly. Santana was glad Brittany didn't appear to be in a teasing mood. She sucked as much of her into her mouth as she could, still pumping the base, and gently stroking her balls. "God Britt don't stop." Brittany shook her head to indicate no, she had no intentions of stopping.

Santana had herself braced against the wall with both hands trying to keep from cumming too quickly because she never wanted this to stop. Brittany wasn't complaining. She loved having Santana in her mouth. She loved the way she tasted, she loved the sound that she made, she loved how all of Santana's muscles were tensed in her efforts to not cum. She loved everything about it. But before to long Santana couldn't stop herself. "Gon cum B" She said through gritted teeth, knowing by now that Brittany preferred to swallow. Brittany increased her suction and felt Santana's cock jerk and then her hot cum spill into her mouth as she sucked down every drop. "God B." Santana moaned as she started to slip down the wall. Brittany released her softened cock and took Santana into her arms, helping to lower her to the ground. She held her for a few minutes before Santana became coherent again. "Amazing. You. are. amazing." She punctuated each word with a kiss. Then she, ungracefully but without care, got back up and held out her hand to help Brittany up. She shut the water off and pressed Brittany up against the wall and kissing her fiercely. "Bed. Now." Brittany nodded.

They got onto the bed, over top of the covers, and Santana quickly climbed on top of Brittany, who pulled her down into a kiss. She loved this. Feeling Santana's full weight on top of her as their tongues tangled together in a languid kiss. She had no idea how much time had passed since they'd gotten into bed but she could feel the need deep in her stomach as she started to roll her hips trying to get any kind of friction. Santana took the hint and quickly began to kiss her way down Brittany's neck and to her collarbone. She was anxious to taste her again. They hadn't been able to since the first time and she desperately wanted to, She quickly reached the swell of Brittany's breast and took a nipple into her mouth and sucked tenderly. She wanted this to be gentle and good for Brittany. She deserved it. She switched to the other breast and took the other nipple into her mouth as she rolled the now moist nipple between her finger and thumb. Brittany was panting and rolling her body underneath Santana. She could feel how much Brittany needed her. She continued her journey down as to give Brittany want she wanted. She traced the line down her abdomen with the tip of her tongue, circling her belly button before gently dipping in. Santana heard her take a sharp breath. Someday, Santana swore she'd get to a place where she could stand to tease Brittany. But right now she wanted to please her so bad the idea of teasing her was too much.

When Brittany felt Santana's hot breath on her slit she rolled her hips trying once again to get any friction. She wanted to tell Santana not to tease her but she could barely use her words. "Please" was all that came out. She sounded so desperate. Santana used her fingers to spread Brittany and laid a kiss onto her clit. "Ungh" Brittany grunted at the contact. Needing more. Santana swirled her tongue around her clit before licking down to her center, and then back up. She had to hold Brittany's hips down in order to maintain contact.

"San please" Brittany needed to cum. It had been building in her since they had gotten in the car. She nearly came while sucking Santana off. She'd been close since the first kiss to her clit. She loved how gentle and soft it felt. But she desperately wanted to cum. "Fingers."

Santana got the hint and instead of fingering her with one finger first, she slid two in. "Oh god." Brittany grunted, matching Santana's thrusts with the movement of her hips. Santana felt her walls flutter and she knew she was close. She flicked her clit quickly a few times with her tongue and then sucked gently. She continued to repeat the pattern until she felt Brittany's walls start to tighten. "Cum for me baby" she rasped into the dimly lit room. Brittany moaned Santana's name and Santana sucked gently while she continued to finger her through her orgasm. After Brittany collapsed Santana gently licked her swollen folds a few more times before crawling back up and taking her into her arms. She held her tight and tried to ignore her own throbbing erection.

Once the aftershocks started to fade, she looked up to see Santana gazing lovingly at her. There was no mistaking the emotions playing behind her eyes and it made Brittany want more. "I want you."

"You have me." Santana kissed Brittany gently.

"No. I want you inside of me." Santana's eyes snapped open wide and if Brittany hadn't wanted it so badly she might have laughed. "Please. I'm ready. Are you ready?" Santana swallowed and nodded. She was ready. She wanted this. She wanted to make love to Brittany. She kissed her again, passionately. Trying to convey everything in the kiss that she has wanted to say before they'd gotten to this point. Brittany felt it.

Santana untangled herself from Brittany, who laid herself flat again, spreading her legs. Santana gulped, she was nervous. She wanted to be amazing. But she'd only done this once and it was nothing like this. Brittany reached up and wrapped her arms around Santana's neck, playing with the little hairs she could reach. She nodded at Santana, who had settled herself between Brittany's hips. She could feel the precum against her still wet folds.

"Wait." Santana stopped. She should have double-checked that Brittany was ready because now she's gone to far to fast. "I have to tell you something first. Before we do this." Santana was confused but nodded her head indicating to Brittany that she should continue. "You don't have to say anything back. Please don't feel obligated at all." Brittany took a deep breath. "I love you Santana. I do. More than anything or anyone ever." She watched Santana's eyes fill with tears. "Don't cry." She whispered.

"I'm just happy. So so happy Brittany. I love you too. I'm in love with you. So in love with you." She leaned down and captured Brittany's lips with her own again. After kissing tenderly for a few minutes, she felt Brittany reach down between them and gently guide her toward her opening. Santana nodded and slowly pressed her hips down and in, slipping between Brittany's folds, and past the ring of muscle. "Are you ok?" She panted into Brittany's ear. Brittany's eyes were closed shut and her nose was scrunched a little, she nodded and pressed her hands into the small of Santana's back urging her to keep going. It took every ounce of reserve she had to not just slide all the way in, but she refused to hurt Brittany. She took her cues from Brittany's hands. Ifs he pushed on her back, she'd keep going, if she eased up, she stopped. Shortly though, she felt herself press against Brittany and she was all the way in. "Are you ok?"

"Mhmm. Can I have a second?"

"You can have as much time as you want." She did would she could to make Brittany less tense. Kissing her and licking her neck. She eventually felt the tension in Brittany's body ease and saw her eyes open. "I feel so full." She kissed Brittany again. What started out as a slow kiss became heated quickly. Santana felt Brittany start to rock under her so she started to gently move in and out. She was so tight and wet and hot. She never wanted to be anywhere else but inside of Brittany. She felt so close to her, like nothing could ever pull them apart. She looked deep into Brittany's eyes and couldn't stop the emotions from flowing out of her. "I love you" she panted as she continued thrusting in and out of Brittany.

"I love you too. You feel so good inside me Santana." She kissed her. "Faster" Brittany urged her. And Santana quickened her pace. She would pull almost all the way out before quickly pushing back in. "Uh baby so good." She wrapped one of her legs around Santana's waist so that she could go deeper. Santana felt the tell tale stirrings in her abdomen and knew she wasn't going to last too much longer. She looked into Brittany's eyes to tell her but she got distracted by how beautiful she looked with her eyes half shut, pupils blown with lust and love. Her lips parted, rocking with the force of Santana's thrusts as well as her own. "So good." Brittany moaned again. Santana loved the incoherent noises she was making. She picked up the pace before she realized she wasn't going to be able to hold back much longer.

"Britt I'm gonna cum" She was almost panicked when she said it. Brittany knew it was because Santana was worried caus she hadn't yet, but Brittany wasn't concerned about that. So she locked both legs behind Santana and pressed her inside of her as deep as she could before leaning up and kissing her deeply. A few small thrusts later and she felt Santana come inside of her. Brittany doesn't think she's ever seen anything as beautiful or as feminine as Santana cumming on top of her. Shaking with tears in her eyes. Once she felt Santana's cock start to soften, she pulled Santana down on top of her and flipped them on to their side so she was holding her tightly to her chest.

"My beautiful girlfriend. I love you." Brittany hummed softly into Santana's ear as Santana recovered. After about ten minutes she felt Santana start to stir and her now softened cock slipped out of her, she pouted at the empty feeling but knew that she had Santana, and they could do this whenever they wanted. She heard Santana mumble something into her chest but couldn't quite make out what it was. "What baby?"

"You didn't cum." Santana pouted.

"No. But that's ok. I don't care. It wasn't about that. This could not have been a better evening, not for anything. I made love to my girlfriend." Santana smiled and buried her face back into Brittany's chest.

"I love you. I want to say it a thousand times. I've wanted to say it for so long." Brittany giggled with happiness hearing the words come out of Santana's mouth.

"I love you too. And I did too. I'm so glad I'm here with you."

"Me too baby. Can I hold you? Roll over." Brittany did, loving feeling Santana's arms surround her. "Are you still feeling ok after what happened tonight?"

Brittany settled herself into Santana's arms and took a second to answer truthfully. "I think I am. I was scared. The idea that he thinks he can just show up in my life now is scary."

"He won't again. My brothers straightened him out. Or crunched him up. One of the two." Brittany smiled at Santana's joke. " And I will protect you when I can." Brittany nodded. She wasn't lying. She was ok. She didn't know when the fear of him would completely fade but she was ok.

"Just hold me ok?"

"Just try stopping me." Santana kissed her shoulder as she tightened her arms. "I love you Britt."

Brittany's face broke out into a smile that Santana couldn't see but she could her when Brittany responded, "I love you too. Hearing that is never going to not make my heart flutter."

"Good." Brittany turned herself around so she could lay her head on Santana's chest and they wrapped all their limbs together so that Brittany forgot what was her and what was Santana, and she thought that was probably ok.

---

AN: Longest chapter so far. I hope you guys liked it and please please let me know what you thought.

Also: find link to the song that Brittany dances to on my tumblr.

klikeszombies . tumblr . com

And one last thing.

I think I need a beta. For sure now. So if anyone is interested, please let me know via PM. I'm looking for someone kind of specific and I'd like to have a few conversations before I am like YEAH LET'S DO THIS! But, yeah. Let me know.

Thank you for reviewing and for loving the story.