"I broke up with Paul."
It was as simple as that. It was, apparently, all the explanation Scorpius needed to give as to why he kissed Albus like that. Or why he had his hands up Albus's shirt. It was apparently as simple as fucking that, because it was all he said before resuming his attack on Albus' mouth and on down to his collarbone.
Something shifted in Scorpius after he finally broke down and opened up to Albus. He hadn't said much. But he didn't have to. Albus knew him well enough to take the few words he spoke and spin them into something that made sense. Something that only made sense to the two of them. He couldn't read Scorpius' mind, but he sure could come close.
After that night, all signs started to point to Scorpius wanting Albus back. Where he had been careful before, he was now suddenly reckless. He didn't seem to care to be modest when changing or coming out of the shower. His gentle, friendly kisses seemed to linger just a touch longer. He snuggled closer and smiled wider. Albus didn't want to read into anything and get his hopes up, but day-by-day he was finding that more and more difficult. He was finding himself feeling more and more guilty than he could ever remember feeling.
And then, nearly a week later, there Scorpius was pressing him back into the countertop. Albus had only leaned in to give Scorpius a gentle and easy goodnight kiss on the cheek. Just like he did most nights. He hadn't meant anything by it. He hadn't meant for it to turn into anything, really. It was friendly, as he'd been trying to be. Scorpius was the one to turn his head and take more. So why was Albus feeling that pit of guilt in his stomach, swallowing up all of his joy in the moment?
"A-are we going to talk about this?" Albus gasped, throwing his head back against the cabinets.
Scorpius didn't even pause. "What's there to talk about?" he chuckled, pushing Albus' shirt up to expose flushed skin.
Unable to think past that pit in his stomach, Albus gently pushed Scorpius away. "Stop," he whispered, instantly hating himself for the break in contact. This was all he'd wanted for a year and a half. It was right there in front of him – attainable – and, yet, he was refusing it? It very much felt like a mistake when Scorpius pulled away, a frown etched into his brow. "I don't want this to be like last Christmas," he continued, voice strangled by the very fear of his words coming true.
"It won't be," Scorpius tried to reassure him. "I promise it won't be. I'm here. I'm staying here. Do you hear me?" He pushed Albus' hair from his forehead, leaning in to just barely hint a kiss to the bared skin. "I'm here. I'm all in. No more bullshit. Okay?"
It didn't quite sound 'okay'. It sounded like plunging back into an ice cold lake just after finally catching his breath from the first time. And yet…it felt like a breath of fucking fresh air. It felt like he could properly breathe for the first time in so long. The one thing he wanted was Scorpius back in his life in the way things should be. He wanted them to be in love again. It was all he had dreamed about for months. This was something to celebrate. So why did he feel so cautious? "I know I hurt you…," he muttered, unable to meet Scorpius' eyes. "I let my grief consume the best parts of us. Have you forgiven me?"
"Yeah," Scorpius said, a soft laugh burbling out of his lips. "Yeah, a long time ago. And I'm ready again, okay? I'm ready…and I know you have been for awhile. I love you, Al. Let me love you…."
It was useless to resist. Albus didn't want to and his conscience would just have to catch up later. Nodding, he lifted his head to land the gentle kiss he'd been aiming for earlier – soft and sweet - to the fleshy part of Scorpius' cheek. "Can we just cuddle?" he asked, allowing himself to smile and feel joy in this. "I just want to fall asleep in you arms."