AN: Thank you to my amazing beta.
Let me know what you think.
They aren't far from school when she gets a text from Rachel asking when she will be back to the dorm, she needs to talk to her about something apparently. She tells Santana this and watches as her shoulders deflate.
"I'm sorry baby. I want to stay over but I should go back to my room. She needs to talk and on top of that I need to unpack."
"I know B. I just don't really like sleeping without you."
"Me neither. But sleeping by ourselves makes sleeping together better." Brittany doesn't really believe that even though she says it. Santana doesn't believe it at all. There is no possible way that sleeping with Brittany could get better. But she gets it. They've only been dating for a few months, and they keep telling themselves that they should spend nights apart. Even if they kind of hate it.
After their goodbyes, which they said with their lips very close together for a few long minutes (interrupted by Quinn threatening to pour water on them if they don't stop), Brittany heads up to her room. When she gets there, Rachel is there and singing in the mirror as usual. "Hey Rach. How was break?"
"Excellent actually. My father's and I had Thanksgiving and watched Funny Girl as per tradition."
"Sounds…cool." Brittany still hadn't told Rachel that she has never actually seen Funny Girl. She knows all about it because Rachel talks about it all the time. But she's never seen it. She's not opposed, she's not very eager either.
"How was your break with Santana? Did you see Quinn at all?"
"It was excellent. Her family is great. And I didn't actually see Quinn until we drove her back with us." Brittany thought the sooner those two would quit being so ridiculous the better. But they'd figure it out for themselves.
"That's wonderful. I'm glad you had a good time. So. On the topic of breaks. I was wondering how you might like to come back to Ohio with me for the first week of Christmas break. My dad's want to meet you and they will pay for your bus ticket there, and then back to your place so it wouldn't cost you anything other that time away from your family if you wouldn't mind sparing it."
"Yes!" She says eagerly without even thinking about it. Then calms down her immediate excitement a little bit. "That sounds awesome Rach. Why do your dads want to meet me though?"
"I've just told them a lot about you. And since you're my roommate and one of my best friends they thought it might be fun. Are you sure you can go? Do you need to talk to your family?"
"Nope. I am positive." The next hour was filled with Brittany's story about her trip to New York City, which really just turned into Rachel reviews every Broadway musical that has ever existed ever. But Brittany didn't mind. She really hoped she'd get to see a big show like that some day.
She called Santana from the study room that no one was in surprisingly enough, when Rachel went back to singing.
"San guess what! Rachel invited me to her house for the first week of break! Isn't that awesome?!" Santana found that even though her initial reaction is jealousy, she wants to spend that time with Brittany, she's so happy because that means one less week in her parent's house. And knows she needs to call her mother tonight to talk about Christmas break options for Brittany.
She calls her mom after Brittany gets off the phone to run to the on campus store to get juice and cereal bar (essentials) before they close. She asks her mom how long she thinks it would be ok for Brittany to stay over break. Her mom (expectantly) tells her that maybe Brittany should spend Christmas with her family. And that It would be fine if she came right after New Years. Her mother would even buy the ticket as Brittany's Christmas gift. Santana thanked her and told her that she'd get her the exact date as soon as possible.
She wasn't totally excited about the prospect of Brittany spending almost two weeks at her parent's house. But it could be worse if she wasn't going to Rachel's. Plus that means, if she comes on the second, they will get to spend Brittany's birthday together on the fourth. She already knew part of Brittany's birthday gift, if Gabe can come through.
That night while lying in bed Brittany and Santana spent at least an hour texting each other. Santana doesn't tell her about the date her mami had set for Brittany being able to visit. Mostly they talked about things like how big Rachel's mouth got when she sang in the mirror, and how it's probably cruel to give a cat a mohawk but they both wanted to do it anyway. They also decided that this was a little bit like being punished, not being able to sleep with each other tonight.
When Brittany wakes up for classes Monday morning she checks her email and sees that the department secretary has her schedule for next semester and she is free to pick it up at any time. She gets it between her class and meeting Santana for lunch. She's not exactly sure how she can miss Santana since she's only not been with her for less than twenty-four hours, and she'd spent an entire week with her prior to that but she does. So when she sees her, and that smile she gets every time she sees Brittany, it's everything she can do to not jump on Santana and kiss her senseless. But she keeps it mostly cool. Can't stop the kiss though. Kind of like you can't stop magnets from sticking to fridges. Except better.
They go inside and get food and sit down in one of their usual tables. "We should make a study schedule for finals as soon as possible. I might just reserve one of those rooms in the Library for us if they aren't all already taken."
"Ok. We can do that now if you want? Or after we eat. Whenever. Oh! I got my schedule for next semester today."
" I didn't know you scheduled today."
"I didn't. My department schedules for us."
"Oh right. Dance is B.F.A. Ok. What did you get? Anything fun?"
"Yep. Hip Hop, that's exciting. And another improv class, and ballet."
"What about your other classes?" Santana had been secretly worrying about this for a while. Knowing that it would come up that there was a class she couldn't help Brittany with, or she'd be too busy to help Brittany.
"I don't remember." She dug around in her bag and handed Santana the sheet of paper. Santana looked at it. English II she could help with. But Environmental Geology she could not. And it had a lab.
Brittany watches Santana's face fall. "What's wrong San?"
"I just don't know anything about Environmental Geology." Brittany doesn't know why this matters at first, but then it hits her. The only reason she's gotten through her classes this semester is because she's had Santana with her. She starts playing with her fingers like she does when she's nervous. Santana grabs both of her hands with hers.
"We'll figure it out. Ok? Let's just eat lunch." She kissed Brittany's fingers before releasing her hands so that Brittany could eat her Lucky Charms and strawberry salad.
Santana can't stop thinking about what they're going to do. The first thing that comes to her mind is that Brittany could ask to get it switched. But she knows that's probably not an option because B.F.A programs are pretty set in which classes you can take and when you can take them. Her next thought, she could take the class too. But she's filled her science and lab blocks and she knows her schedule is going to be full next semester. She's waiting in the library finishing up some homework when she decides what she thinks might be the only solution. The idea had been in her head for a long time, most of the time that she's known Brittany.
She goes to a computer and types in "Office Learning Disabilities". She knew there must be one because Sam had to check in there once a semester and he was always forgetting about the meetings and Mercedes was always yelling at him for it. It turns out, according to the website, that the office was actually in the Library and was still open for a little while longer. She shut the computer off and grabbed her stuff and ran up there.
A woman sitting at the desk greeted her when she came in. "Hello, do you have an appointment?"
"No. I uh, I'm actually looking for information." The woman just stared at her for a moment, waiting for her to continue. "I don't know what I'm supposed to tell you, I'm sorry."
"It's ok. What kind of information do you need?"
"My girlfriend, she's really smart. But she has a really hard time learning. And I thought maybe if she came to talk to you guys, it might be easier for her. I just don't want her to struggle as much as she does."
"That's sweet of you. Why don't I give you this pamphlet with general information about learning disabilities? It's not worth either of you trying to learn much about specifics. Self-diagnosing is dangerous. Our number is on the back, so if she feels like it would be in her best interest to call, she can schedule an appointment with one of our counselors. Is that maybe what you were looking for?"
"I think so. Thank you." Santana folds the pamphlet up and puts it in her back pocket.
Halfway through dinner with Brittany she can't wait anymore. "Britt can I talk to you about something?" Brittany just looks at Santana, waiting for her to continue. "I think", she hesitates "I think that maybe you have a learning disability. I think you know that too." Brittany looks down at her plate, but Santana knows she has to get through this. "That doesn't mean you're stupid B. You're one of the smartest people I know. I just think you learn and understand things in a way that your teachers don't explain them to you."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, you don't learn a lot of your class stuff in class right?" Brittany nods towards the table again. She knows Santana isn't calling her stupid. But she desperately doesn't want her to be thinking it either. "But you do learn a lot when we go over it again together. So you are definitely learning just fine. Just not the way your professors teach. But I can't teach you things I don't know. I wish I could B. But we need to figure out how to keep your grades up and I think this could be it. They could help. You could at least talk to them right?"
"I could. I know you're right. I just hate that I need more help than everyone else learning. It makes me feel-"
"Don't even say it. You're not stupid. You are anything but stupid. I wouldn't date a stupid girl no matter how pretty she is." She winks at Brittany trying to lighten the mood. She gets a little smile in return. "So you'll call? If it doesn't work out we will figure something else out. You could maybe get your schedule changed to something I've taken, we'll think of something. But this first yeah?"
"Yeah." Brittany sounds a little more resolute. Santana thinks she looks embarrassed. And while theoretically she understands why someone would be embarrassed by this, she doesn't think Brittany should be. She's perfect. And this is just a thing about her. Not even a bad thing, just a thing. Something they'll get past and be fine with.
"Do you want me to come with you?"
"I think I can go on my own. I will call tomorrow. Ok?"
"Sounds perfect." Santana goes to eat a bite of her food when she remembers that she still hasn't told Brittany about what her mom said. "Totally different subject. I talked to my Mom about Christmas break. She said that you can come up right after New Years if you'd like and stay with us the rest of break. She'll even pay for your bus ticket as a Christmas gift to you."
"So I could spend my birthday with you?"
"Yep. And almost two weeks before school starts back up. And we could even go back to school early if we wanted some alone time."
"Mmmm. Alone time. What would we need that for?" Brittany says before taking a sip of her water and winking at Santana. Santana laughs and bumps the side of Brittany's leg with her foot.
"Love you."
"Love you too. Always." Brittany tells her back before stealing the last fry off of Santana's plate.
Brittany spends a lot of time being nervous for the appointment that she made on Friday with the Office for Students with Disabilities. She knows that she doesn't have anything to be nervous about. They promised her they wouldn't give her any tests without fair warning. But she is nervous.
So when Kurt calls her Wednesday afternoon to let her know that he won a manicure for two at a nail salon he used to go to, and he'd like to give it to her she thinks that's the perfect distraction. "But why don't you want it?" She asks, curious.
"Because I used to date a boy that works there and it's awkward now that I'm dating Blaine. So you go. Take whomever you'd like. You just have to use the coupon today or tomorrow. I'll drop it off at Santana's. Have fun!" Brittany thanks him and gets off the phone before texting Santana.
To Santana: Want to get manicures today or tomorrow? Kurt is dropping off a coupon for a manicure for two at your house for me.
From Santana: Yeah he just texted me about it. I can't though. It's bad for guitar playing. I'll go with you though?
To Santana: I'll just ask Rachel or Quinn or someone. Love you!
From Santana: You too babe. But Quinn is probably out. She's locked herself in her room working on a paper she procrastinated on. I'm sure hobbit will be in.
To Santana: Rude. But you're so hot.
From Santana: Don't you forget it.
Brittany laughed before calling Rachel. "Hey Rach just wondering if you might want to get a free manicure with me sometime today or tomorrow?"
"I would Brittany but I have practice time booked for all of those days plus the dust in the air could not possibly be good for my vocal cords. I'm sorry Brittany. Maybe Quinn though?"
"Maybe. Good luck. I'll talk to you later." They hung up and Brittany scrolled through her phone.
To Mercedes: Hey do you want to get a free manicure with me today or tomorrow?
When she got out of her class she had a response waiting for her from Mercedes.
From Mercedes: Hey girl. Sorry I can't. I promised Kurt I'd go with him today in solidarity to a different salon. Try Rachel?
To Mercedes: Maybe. Thanks anyway. Have fun!
She locked her phone and started towards the library to meet Santana for study time. They had made a schedule the day before in an effort to spend enough time studying without spending zero time sleeping.
The next morning Sam picks her up to go to the gym while Santana is still sleeping. Halfway through their work out they took a break. "What are you guys up to today? Studying I bet."
"Yeah. For a little while. We were going to take the night off. Kurt gave me this free manicure coupon thing for two but nobody can go with me. So I'm going to go do that by myself and then hang out at the apartment." Brittany seemed down about going to the salon by herself. Sam hated that look on Brittany. Hated it so much that…
"Well I was actually planning on getting a manicure soon so maybe I could just go with you. Save myself some money."
"You'd go with me?" Brittany's face instantly brightened. So quickly that had it been anyone else he might wonder if he'd just been tricked into going to a nail salon. But it's Brittany. And everything about her is genuine.
"Of course. You're my friend. It might be fun, I've never done it before."
"It's going to be so much fun!"
And that's how Sam ended up at a nail salon, arguing with a woman that he most certainly did not need a shiny top coat no matter how much she promised it would fade in twenty four hours. Because of a blue eyed blonde that reminded him of his little sister. And honestly, looked like she could desperately use a big brother. He knew she'd been through a lot. He could tell that by her personality, and he know that whatever happened at the dance concert was probably somehow related to all of that. But he wasn't going to ask. She would tell him when she was ready.
He might have avoided top coat, but he did not avoid "nail strengthener", whatever that was. She said it would make his nails break less. Which he didn't really have a problem with in the first place but whatever, if it would stop her from trying to put that shiny stuff on, he'd deal. Except this stuff was also shiny. He hoped it would rub off in the car.
Brittany had an awesome time. Turns out Sam is hilarious at nail salons. They were really nice to her, and some guy kept hitting on Sam and Brittany wondered if that was the guy that Kurt used to date. He seemed to be the only guy around, and if that was him Kurt was better off with Blaine. She chose the prettiest blue she'd ever seen as the color for her nails.
The entire way home Sam kept rubbing his nails on his jeans which amused Brittany to no end. When they got to the house he kept his hands in his pockets. Mercedes was there and Quinn had actually come out of her room and was semi relaxed because she apparently had gotten a lot done on her paper today.
Santana hugged Brittany and complimented her nails which really did look pretty. She wished she could have nice nails but that meant no guitar, and she liked it too much. Brittany liked it too. Lazy mornings spent laying in bed naked listening to Santana play were amazing to her.
Santana offered Sam a drink and when he reached out to take it she saw that his nails looked awfully shiny. She wanted to make fun of him but Brittany had just looked so happy to have someone who could go with her, and she looked just as happy when they got back that she couldn't bring herself to knock down something that aided in that happiness.
"Nice nails bro." She was only human though. One little comment wouldn't hurt. Sam blushed, rightfully so. But nothing else was said about it.
After they'd been hanging out for about an hour Mercedes brought up what was on her mind since the dance concert. "So what happened? At the dance concert?"
Santana should have known Mercedes would bring it up eventually. She looked to Brittany about to step in but Brittany spoke first. "Before I came to school I was in a very bad relationship. I don't like talking about it though. He showed up. Santana's brothers handled it. I don't think he'll be back." Santana nodded and squeezed Brittany's hand tighter.
Sam walked over and gave Brittany a hug. "You know if you ever need anything you have me too right?" Brittany nodded. She knew that. Mercedes didn't say anything except a small apology and Quinn just nodded at her like it was ok that she didn't want to talk about it.
Truthfully, Quinn had suspected Brittany had been abused. She wasn't sure if it was family, or an ex boyfriend. But she displayed a lot of the classic signs. Looks like she had been right. Only, she had never wished so hard that she could be wrong in her whole life. To meet Brittany was to like her. You'd have to be some kind of person to hurt her.
Friday morning before her appointment she ran into Mike in the dance department. She hadn't really seen him since the dance concert. She hadn't been avoiding him but she knew he'd have questions, just like the others. But he had been there so his would probably be a lot more specific. They hung out for a little bit but it didn't come up at all. She was starting to get anxious.
"If you have questions about what happened at the dance concert you can ask."
"Nope. I pretty much figured out what was going on right there, between that and what Santana had told me. So we're good. It'll never happen again because I'll kill him before he touches you. And I'm sorry it ever got that far I was just caught off guard." He was very calm when he said it but she could feel the anger in his words. She hugged him and he loosened up. The topic immediately returned to a less tense subject when Mike asked about her schedule. They had Hip Hop class together. That made Brittany even more excited for the class.
When she got to the office for her appointment a little bit later she could tell her hands were shaking. She almost wished she could reconsider Santana's offer to be here. But this was her problem, and so long as she could deal with it herself she probably should. The secretary told her she could go back, so Brittany did. She went into the room with the number on the door that the secretary had told her to go into. A man greeted her, he seemed really nice.
"Sit Brittany. Please. My name is Patrick. Don't worry about last names they aren't important anyway. How are you? You look a little nervous?"
"I am. Sorry."
"You don't need to apologize this is kind of a nerve wracking thing. But I promise it'll be just fine. Why don't you tell me why you're here?"
"I just don't think I learn very well. My girlfriend is the only reason I can keep my grades where they are now. She has to pretty much re-teach me everything they teach me."
"Why do you think that is?"
"Because I can't listen and write at the same time. How can anyone? Those are two totally different things. Like trying to ride a bike and swim at the same time. It doesn't work for me."
"That's a really good analogy I think I'll have to steal that one." He chuckled. "Has it always been this way?"
"Yeah. I've never done well in school. I mostly just passed because my teachers didn't want to deal with me I think. I tried hard though. I had to. My parents wouldn't let me dance if I didn't do well."
"You dance?"
"All the time. It's like the only thing I'm good at really. That's why I'm here. I had bad grades but I'm a good dancer. But I have to keep my grades up or I lose my scholarship. Which is why I'm here. Because I can't lose it."
He continued asking questions for the better part of an hour. Asking her about her schooling when she was little. About how and if her parents had helped her with her homework. What subjects she liked, which ones gave her the most trouble, and how different school related situations made her feel.
"Well Brittany. It would require further testing if we wanted to medicate you, but I don't think that's what we want to do. But I'm fairly confident you have a mild case of ADHD as well as LD NOS. Do you know what those mean?"
"Not really. I mean I've heard of ADHD but I don't really know what it means. Isn't that really hyper kids that act out and stuff? I'm not like that."
"It can be like that. But you have found ways all on your own to deal with your excess energy. Which, by the way, shows that you are very self aware. I can tell how smart you are Brittany. I just think maybe we need to help you figure out how channel that in a way that is conducive to learning. Here's what ADHD means to you, because what it means in general isn't very important. For you, I think that it means it's hard to focus your mind when you're also being made to sit still. I don't think you have it really bad, which is why you've managed to use dance and exercise to help you. Does that make sense?"
"Kind of. I would definitely rather be moving than sitting in a classroom."
"You get it then. We can't make classrooms more interesting, but we can make them less confusing which might help make them a little more interesting. LD NOS means Learning Disorder Not Otherwise Specified. That one is a little more broad in the sense that it means if you display traits of having a learning disability, but not enough traits for just one, then it's hard to diagnose. But again, for you, the important part is that it just means you learn differently. Which isn't a bad thing. That's why writing and listening are hard for you to do at the same time. And we have things to help you with that too. Would you like to discuss those things now? Or do you want to go home and think about all of this? I don't want to overwhelm you."
"No I want to know now!" If he thought he could help her, this could mean being less afraid of losing her scholarship. And maybe even a little less time studying.
"Ok! I'm glad you're excited. Some people take the idea of being diagnosed as a bad thing. But I think you get what I'm saying, the specifics aren't important. How we deal with them is. Right? Ok. So, learning is a skill. You sometimes have to be taught how. So I'd like to recommend that you set up two sessions a week with one of our tutors."
"I tried tutoring. It didn't work."
"You were probably being tutored by some student who wasn't being paid enough to care about you. The tutors we have here, that's there job. To care and to help. So they're much better at it. They are general tutors so they can help you with most of your subjects so you don't need a different tutor for each one, but most importantly, they can help you learn how to learn better. So that you hopefully won't always need to learn things more than once. The other thing that I think you will like is that we can talk to your professors for you. Tell them that you require a little extra help, and that we would like it if they sent us their notes for the lectures. So that way you don't have to write during class. You focus on listening, and we'll give you the notes in advance. Not all professors have that as an option though, so for the ones that can't, we'll give you this little thing." He pulled a small silver box out of his drawer.
"It's a digital recorder. You just set it out at the start of class, push the button and then stop it at the end. Then at the end of the day, upload the files onto your computer and email them to the office and they will type the notes out for you and email them back. "
"You can do all of that?"
"Of course we can. We can do almost anything that we need to do to make sure that you are learning the best way you can. Not everyone can just go to class and do homework and be fine. I couldn't when I was in school. More of your fellow classmates than you guess can't either."
"What do I need to do then?" She was waiting for the other shoe to drop. This sounded too good to be true. Someone would help her with her homework, someone who wasn't just doing it because they were paid, or because they loved her like Santana did. Someone else could care that she stayed in school with her scholarship too. Then it hit her. "Does this cost a lot of money? I don't have any money and my parents won't pay for it." He was going to tell her he's sorry but he can't help now, she knew it.
"Doesn't cost you a penny. The school pays for it all. It's a service they provide. The only thing you need to do is register with us, which just means filling out this sheet of paper. Everything else, we'll handle for you if possible. And if it's not possible, we'll help you figure out what you need to do. Ok?" Brittany nodded and she took the sheet of paper and filled it out, signing her name. Before she handed back the paper she had one more question.
"You guys won't tell my parents will you? I think they'd be mad at me." Patrick had to stop himself from frowning. Poor kid.
"No. Definitely not. It's totally confidential except the information that you've just signed that we can give to your professors. Other than that, everything is just between us. I'm sorry that you've had to struggle with this your whole life Brittany. But we're going to try and make it easier now. Ok?" Brittany nodded and tried not to cry. But it was hard. She had struggled. She had missed dance so many times because she wasn't smart enough. She wasn't going to be allowed to go to school away from home because she wasn't smart enough. She worried every single day that she was going to have to switch to the school her parents wanted her to be in and lose Santana because she wasn't smart enough. But now it could be easier, at least a little bit.
She left the office after a handshake from Patrick where she had to hold back her urge to hug him. They scheduled a meeting for on first day of classes after Christmas break for the new semester and for once, school didn't feel so overwhelming. She couldn't wait to tell Santana.
Santana reacted almost exactly how Brittany had thought she did. First she was defensive about some guy making snap decisions about her having learning disabilities. But that faded into a smile and a heavy sense of gratitude when she learned of all the ways he had said he could help Brittany. Someone was going to help Brittany, and Santana thought that nobody deserved it more than her. She was glad that if she couldn't fix it, they had found someone who could.
But they still had to get through this semester's finals with decent grades, so if they weren't sleeping or eating or in class they were studying. Brittany wasn't concerned about her dance classes. They were mostly just a fun part of her day, they didn't cause her stress and she knew she'd pass whatever they gave her as a final. It was the other classes that worried her. Studying pushed all thoughts and anxieties about going home out of her head, as well as her anxieties about Christmas. She barely had any money, she had no idea what she was going to do for a gift for Santana.
She couldn't tell if she was glad or more nervous when Santana brought it up while they were studying at the coffee shop for a change of pace. "Hey B. Can we talk about Christmas for a minute?"
"Ok."
"First, do you want to do Christmas before we leave, or when you get to my house in January."
"January for sure."
"Thank God. I was hoping you'd say that." Brittany was relieved that it seemed like Santana didn't have a gift for her yet either.
"San I don't have a lot of money."
"I know B. That's fine. You could literally draw a heart on a post it note and I'd be happy."
"Well I'm going to do more than that. But you can't spend a lot on me."
"But I-"
"San. I'll feel bad. Promise you won't."
"I will do my best." But they both knew that Santana's definition of not a lot and Brittany's varied. Brittany just hoped that whatever she could come up with would make up for the fact that it couldn't cost very much.
Finals went as well as could be expected. As predicted, Brittany totally aced her dance finals. Santana did well on her Piano practical exams as well. She wasn't taking any voice classes this semester, and piano was pretty much the easiest thing in the world for her. To be honest, Santana was really only nervous about Brittany's finals. She had breezed through all of hers. Brittany wouldn't say she breezed through hers, not at all. But she thinks she managed to at least do well enough to keep her grades where they are now, which means she would be within the range to keep her scholarship. Which is all she cared about. That, and making Santana proud.
By some stroke of luck both of them finished finals Wednesday evening so they had all day Thursday to spend together. Before Brittany left with Rachel Friday afternoon. She was pretty much packed, she had done it on nights spent in her room. She finished what she had left on Wednesday before Santana picked her up to go back to her apartment.
They both wanted to stay up and have fun and relax. Do whatever. All the things they couldn't when they were busy with finals, but instead they fell asleep cuddled together before ten because they were both exhausted.
Santana had learned earlier during finals week that Brittany had never been ice skating. Which sounded ridiculous because she thought it was something Brittany would probably like very much. So after they'd both gotten up and Santana had made breakfast, she told Brittany they were going on a surprise date. "Really?! But I don't have anything here to wear I'll have to go back to my room to change."
"Nope. You can wear that. You just need to be warm, that's all."
"Where are we going?"
"Surprise. Put your shoes on and grab some gloves and a scarf."
They pulled into the ice skating rink and Brittany was bouncing all over her seat. She could barely contain her excitement. Santana hoped that her excitement wouldn't translate to Brittany falling every few seconds.
It didn't. She should have known Brittany, who manages to look graceful even when she's falling over the couch, would be an excellent ice skater. She managed to match Santana's skill level after about half an hour. While a slight pride hit for Santana, she was excited that she'd found something else that they both liked.
When they were both nearly frozen they decided to call it quits and head to the coffee shop for some hot chocolate. On the way in Brittany sees a flier that is advertising an open mic night. She points it out to Santana.
"Yeah I saw that. I don't know. I've never played or sang in this kind of setting. I don't know how it will go. They probably are mostly only looking for original stuff or something which I don't have a lot of right now. I don't even know who to talk to. I don't know. Let's just go inside."
She was hearing a lot of negative things that Santana was saying. But she still sounded like she wanted to do it, and she looked like she wanted to do it. While they drank their hot chocolate she decided this could maybe be part of her Christmas gift. Giving Santana the push she needed to play for others. It was clearly something she'd thought about before but was nervous about it. Brittany could help her.
After they walked out of the door to the coffee shop Brittany pretended that she left her phone inside. Santana said she'd go start the car while Brittany ran back in to grab it. She went straight to the counter and asked the barista about open mic night. He said it's for anything. They have musicians, poets, and comedians. So anything goes really. She asked how far in advance they book, and he said only a week or two usually.
"Do you think there's anything I could do to maybe book my girlfriend for the one right after school starts? I want it to be part of her Christmas gift. She's too nervous to set it up on her own. I promise she's amazing. Is there anything I can do at all?"
"Just tell her to have a killer fifteen minute set. Merry Christmas." Brittany returned the sentiment as she ran out of the door and into Santana's car. Now she just had to manage to not spill what had her so excited.
As Thursday night came however, the day lost the excitement that it had held with ice skating and Christmas gifts as they both were faced with the truth that they'd have to spend more time apart than they ever had since meeting each other. Santana had suspected that the night would be filled with sex since they hadn't had much time for that the past few weeks, and they wouldn't be seeing each other for a while. But it seemed they were both just as content to hold each other close, sharing sweet kisses and trying to enjoy the time they had rather than be nervous about spending so much time apart.
Eventually they fell asleep which of course meant the morning came too soon. They got up before Santana's alarm though. Grateful for a few extra conscious (or mostly so) minutes with each other before Santana took Brittany and Rachel to the bus station. While Brittany was pulling bags out of the trunk Santana pulled Rachel aside and began to try to threaten Rachel, but was cut off.
"It's ok Santana, I know you're going to miss her a lot. I promise to make sure she has a great time. Have a good Christmas Santana." And Rachel hugs her before going to help Brittany get the last bag out. Maybe Rachel isn't so bad. Santana will never say it out loud though.
The goodbye was embarrassingly tearful between the two of them (and Rachel who watched with rapt attention, the drama was beautiful) but Santana was too caught up in the fact that she wouldn't see Brittany until January 2nd to be concerned with who saw her with all those tears in her eyes. They kissed a hundred times, or maybe a thousand before Rachel tugged Brittany's sleeve and told her they needed to get inside or they'd miss the bus. With one last kiss and a promise to text a thousand times a day, Brittany walked away from Santana and into the bus station. She decided that she'd like to not make a habit of walking away from Santana, if at all possible, because this hurt pretty bad.
Brittany gets Rachel even better pretty much as soon as she meets her dads. It's like the mannerisms of the two of them combined and made a Rachel. It's kind of awesome. She guesses Santana is the same way, but it's not nearly as obvious. Brittany had been nervous to meet them. Rachel assured her that she need not worry and that they already liked her but Brittany couldn't understand how that would be true. But Rachel had been correct. As soon as they got into the bus station two very loud men ran at them one hugged Rachel and the other saw her, "You must be Brittany!" and hugged her as well. Then they switched. It was the strangest welcome she'd ever received from an adult but it was kind of nice. They clearly were excited about her being here as well.
After the hugs came introductions and Brittany learned that she would not have to deal with the confusion of calling them Mr. and Mr. Berry as they insisted she call them Leroy and Hiram. Brittany had been texting Santana the entire bus ride but still wanted to let her know she was here.
To Santana: I'm here. Rachel's parents would make you laugh, they are just like her. They seem really nice.
She didn't have to wait long for a response.
From Santana: Good. So you're safe? Happy? Everything is ok? I just miss you Britt. Tons and tons.
Brittany couldn't stop herself from smiling. Santana worried too much. "Ohhhh I see that smile Miss Brittany. Texts from the girlfriend?" Hiram teased. His husband slapped his arm.
"I uh…yeah. How did you know?"
"Rachel tells us pretty much everything." Leroy explained.
"I'm sorry is that ok that I told them? I was just happy for you."
"No Rach it's fine. I'm pretty happy about her too." They stopped and got take home food. They didn't even give Brittany the option of paying for her own. Which was really nice of them. She only had forty dollars. Twenty of which she suspiciously "found" in a hoodie that she knew Santana had been wearing but Santana swore it wasn't her money. She didn't carry cash. But Brittany knew it wasn't hers either.
They had prepared the guest room for her, they said, but feel free to sleep anywhere. Brittany imagined how funny it would be if they walked into the kitchen and found her sleeping on the floor. But the guest bedroom was better than the floor.
Santana and Quinn left later than they had intended to go home but packing sucked. Everything reminded her of Brittany. Brittany's stuff was everywhere. She was cleaning and packing in tandem and had an entire basket full of Brittany's clothes. She set aside a hoodie and a pair of sweat pants to take with her. She didn't wash them because they just smelt like Brittany and it might make sleeping without her suck a little less. Whatever. But she decided to wash the rest because it was a little weird to bring her girlfriends unwashed underwear to her parent's house.
But they got on the road eventually. Quinn reading the cute texts out loud to Santana and responding exactly like she said to. "Hey Q. Do you maybe want to go into the city Monday?"
"Sure. Why?"
"Christmas shopping."
"Oh you mean Brittany shopping? Sure. Just let me know what time." Santana is stuck on this gift buying thing. She knows what she wants to buy Brittany. Something beautiful. Something that says this girl has somebody that loves her very much. Something that she can wear all the time. She wants to buy her a ring. But she thinks the idea of a promise ring is a little immature and she's also still a little shy about scaring Brittany away. She wishes Brittany wouldn't have told her something not expensive. Because she has money, and she wants to spend it on her girl. But she wants to respect Brittany's wishes, as best she can anyway. So Quinn there to reign her in might help a little.
That night they talked on the phone but they didn't have much to say because they'd been talking all day anyway. But they whispered good night, and I miss you, and I love you a million times.
The weekend for Santana was spent mostly moping around the house. She did have some good news when Gabe drove up to give her part Brittany's birthday gift. He hung out with her for a while, and, as usual, checked her car for any issues that it might be having. But for the most part she hung out with her mami, and played video games. And of course spent a lot of time texting Brittany, who thankfully, seemed to be having a good time.
Rachel's dads were awesome. They treated her just like they treated Rachel. They asked her questions and requested proper notification of any and all dance performances. Saturday they spent the day at various stores shopping for the rest of what the Berry's needed for Hanukkah and Christmas. At one of the stores Brittany saw a pretty dress. One that Santana would love on her she thought. She eyed it for a while and then Rachel suggested she try it on, just to see. So she did, and it fit perfect. But trying it on wasn't smart because now she was even more sad that she couldn't have it.
That night they exchanged gifts for Hanukkah and Brittany was just content to be there, and be celebrating something without fighting. Everything was happy and loving and it was something Brittany thought that maybe she could build with Santana in the future. She was thinking about that when a package was put on her lap by a smiling Leroy. She looked up in confusion. "It's for you. We bought it. Happy Hanukkah and Merry Christmas." Brittany gently undid the bow of the box. She carefully slid the top of the box and pulled the tissue paper off of the top. She gasped when she saw the dress there that she had tried on at the store. She gently touched the fabric before looking up at the smiling Berry's.
"I don't know what to say. Thank you so much." She slid the box off of her lap and stood up to hug each of them in turn. She had seen the price tag on the dress, it was pretty expensive. Why would they do this? Her own parents never got her anything she actually wanted for Christmas. They got her things they wanted her to have. She tried to keep her emotions in check, both extremely happy to have all of the wonderful people in her life, but terribly sad that she had spent the first eighteen, nearly nineteen years without them.
That night she kept Santana on the phone longer telling her about her day, and then just talking about nothing. She missed Santana. She wanted to share these wonderful things with her. She falls asleep that night picturing what their apartment would look like for Christmas in the future.
The next morning Rachel and Brittany were just hanging out in her bedroom when Brittany brought up a topic she felt like Rachel had been avoiding. "So have you talked to Quinn since we left?"
"Oh. Yes, yes I have. Some texting. Why?"
"Just curious. Have you guys ever talked about the Halloween party?"
"Not really. I'm not really sure how to bring it up to be honest with you."
"Do you like her?"
"You get right to the point don't you. I do. Yes. But again, I'm not really sure how to go forward with that. I don't know that she likes me."
"She definitely likes you. Duh Rach. It's completely obvious."
"How do I get her to talk about it then? She feels so closed off sometime."
"She reads these super old romantic books all the time. They used to do big gestures you know? Romantic things. Try that. Don't just tell her you're into her. Show her."
"That is very Broadway."
"Sure." Meanwhile she was shooting a text off to Santana.
To Santana: Rachel is def into Quinn. Just talked to her about it.
From Santana: Genius. I'm with Quinn. I'll talk to her about it. Matchmaking!
From Santana: Oh and I love you!
To Santana: Love you too.
"Hey Q." Santana said as she selected the next level on the game she and Quinn were playing. Quinn was absolutely terrible, but Santana appreciated the effort. "What's going on with you and Berry? Are you into that?"
"Why do you ask?"
"Just curious. After Halloween we hadn't really talked about it."
"Neither have Rachel and I."
"Well?"
"Of course I like her Santana, how could I not. She's amazing. Have you heard her sing?"
"Stop I'll gag."
"And you'd deserve it too. With everything I have to put up with with you and Brittany."
"Whatever. You're jealous."
"A little."
"Tell her Q. She likes you."
"She's going big places Santana. She'll be a star on Broadway if she wants it. I might teach English if I'm lucky. She deserves better."
"Maybe you should let her make that call."
"Whatever. You better start pay attention or I might accidentally win this round."
To Brittany: Yeah. She's into Berry too.
From Brittany: Knew it.
On Monday Santana met Quinn so they could travel into the city together. She didn't even know where to go, but Quinn had a few suggestions about some areas that had a lot of little independently owned stores. They went in and out of several, and Santana saw a lot of things that she both liked, and thought Brittany would like. But nothing perfect. She knew she wanted jewelry. She knew whatever it was she wanted it to be something that Brittany would wear often. So it couldn't be something very specific. They got some lunch and then restarted their search.
They walked into a store that, honestly, Santana would have passed if it weren't for Quinn insisting she wanted to check it out. They went inside and Santana found that she could easily ignore the dust in favor of looking at all of the beautiful silver things the shop housed. She heard some noise towards the back of the shop and a man was sitting there working at a small station with a lot of little tools that Santana had never seen before.
"Hello Ma'am. Can I help you with anything?"
"I was just looking around. Do you make all of these things?"
"No, not all of them. But some of it. I have other artists that sell out of the store, and I teach classes and my students sell some of their work out of here."
"It's all really beautiful."
"Are you looking for something in particular? A special gift?"
"I am actually. Something for my girlfriend."
"Come over here. Look at these." He grabs a cane that had been hanging off of his workbench and leads Santana over to a small case. "I make these bracelets. They're charm bracelets, and see they have all kinds of little charms you could buy. But I make all of them. So you'll never have two that are the exact same."
Santana knew this was it. They were so beautiful, but delicate. More delicate than any other charm bracelet she'd ever seen. And she loved that Brittany would have the only one exactly like it. It was expensive, but she didn't care. This was it. She wanted to give it to Brittany so bad. She loved that she could keep buying new charms for holidays. "I want one. And I want that little heart with the gem in it. And that little B" She thought about it for a second and then reconsidered. "No. The little S instead."
The old man winked at her as he pulled the trinkets out of the case. He walked over to the counter and put them in a small box before handing it to her. She paid him, and went to find Quinn after thanking the man profusely and promising she'd be back.
"What's that? Did you find something?" Santana bit her bottom lip and nodded, opening to show Quinn the contents. "San that's beautiful. But how much did it cost?"
"Doesn't matter. It's not about the money. This was it."
It was the day before Brittany was scheduled to leave Ohio to head home to Pennsylvania. She didn't want to leave but it wasn't polite to ask to stay. Plus she knew the sooner that she left the sooner that she'd get to Santana. They were walking around the downtown area waiting for Rachel's dad to get done running into work before they were meeting Leroy for a goodbye dinner for Brittany.
Brittany was looking for a picture frame. She found a picture on Quinn's computer when she was borrowing it for something else. It was Santana and her laying on the couch during one of the movie nights. Santana was laying on her back and Brittany was laying on Santana's stomach. Santana was watching the movie, and she was just looking at Santana's face, with Santana's arms around her. The picture looked sweet, and very much them. They didn't have any pictures printed together so she thought it might be a nice gift, she asked Quinn not to show Santana. But she needed to buy a picture frame, so that's why they were in yet another antique store.
"How about this one?"
"It's not very Santana." She was having a hard time finding something that Santana would like and was within her price range, which was really kind of low. She continued walking around the store when she saw what she was looking for. It was beautiful and detailed. Silver, It was beautiful and simple but complex and exactly what she wanted to get. She picked it up as Rachel walked over.
"Oh that one is beautiful."
"It's perfect." Brittany responded as she flipped over the frame to look at the price tag. Forty dollars. Which was over every penny she had. And she still needed money to get a cab to the bus after New Years, plus get the picture printed. There was no way. She shook her head and put the frame back on the shelf before walking away to check and see if Santana had texted her.
Rachel had no idea why Brittany had no money. Her parents seemed well off enough. But for whatever reason, it seemed Brittany had very little. But Rachel knew this was the frame Brittany wanted, she also knew that Brittany didn't have the ability to get Santana very much for Christmas and that idea made her sad. So Rachel did what she could to help, and as sneaky as she could, bought the frame and slipped it into her own purse.
The next day Santana was once again playing video games with Quinn. Nervous because she knew Brittany was heading back to the last place on earth Santana wanted her to be. She heard her phone go off so she pulled it out of her pocket with one hand trying to play the game with the other.
From Brittany: I miss orgasms.
"Holy shit." She said, unable to stop herself.
"What?"
"Nothing."
To Brittany: I miss giving them to you. As soon as we can baby.
A few hours later Brittany arrived at the bus stop. She got her bag and walked out to the parking lot, she looked around for either of her parent's or her sister's cars and saw nothing.
To Santana: I'm here. Arrived safe.
From Santana: Everything ok so far?
To Santana: Eh. I think they forgot or something, nobody is here. I'm gonna call them. I'll text you when I get home.
First she dialed her mother's number and got nothing. Then her sister, still nothing. And finally her father. Nothing. So she waited for a little while before trying all three again. Still nothing. So finally she called the cab company and had them take her home. It cost eighteen dollars with a tip. Which left her twenty-two dollars to get a frame, print the picture, and get a cab back to the bus station after New Years. Maybe she'd just walk. It was only a few miles.
Nobody was home when she got there so she brought her stuff up to her room and started to unpack. She was about halfway through taking her stuff out when she found a bag in there that she knew she didn't pack. She took it out and opened it and saw the frame she had fell in love with at the antique store. Tears came to her eyes. Constantly aware of the two very different kinds of people in her life.
To Rachel: Thank you. So much.
From Rachel: Anytime Brittany. You know that.
She heard the garage door open so she went downstairs to see who it was. Her mother came in a few minutes later and saw her. "Oh I forgot you were coming home today. Did your sister pick you up?"
"No. Took a cab."
"Oh. Ok. Well I've got to go back out actually. I won't be home till late. Order food, there's nothing here." She put a twenty on the counter and walked back out. Maybe if she just keeps not being home for all of break, things won't be so bad Brittany thought as she pocketed the twenty, and then looked in the pantry for food so she could save the money for the cab ride. She ate some soup before going upstairs to call Santana.
The next day when she finally came down her mother was clearly on her way out again. She handed Brittany another twenty and told her to order something. Brittany figured that she could just make something from the pantry again and then she'd have forty dollars and could buy Santana something else for Christmas. She kind of had an idea of what she'd like to get her. There was this store that sold really pretty journals. And Santana was always pulling scraps of paper from everywhere to take notes or write down a song she was thinking about.
She took the bus to the shopping center that had the store she was thinking about and went in. She always thought the store smelt a little weird but the leather bound notebooks were so pretty. She walked around the store till she found the section that was in her price range.
They were all lovely, but she found one that was particularly beautiful. And the pattern burnt into the leather reminded her a little of the picture frame she had already gotten. She picked it up and brought it up to the counter.
"I'd like to buy this please."
"Good choice. I really like that one. You know these are reusable? You can just take the used notebook out, and put a new one of the same size in. Pretty cool huh? Want anything engraved into it?" Of course she did. But she didn't have the money.
"That's ok. This is the most I can spend."
"On the house kid. What do you want on it?" Having something personal would make this even better! But she hadn't been prepared. So she thought about it for a few minutes. She loved poetry. But most of the ones she knew weren't about love or were too long. But then she remembered one. She pulled out her phone and looked it up just to confirm the words.
"Because I love you doesn't feel like enough. Then love knew it was called love. And when I lifted my eyes to your name, suddenly your heart showed me my way. Could you write that?"
"That's really pretty. Sure. It'll just take a few minutes."
"Oh could you put S + B under that?"
"Definitely." He engraved the poem onto the cover and let it cool for a moment before wrapping it in tissue paper and putting it in a box and handing it to Brittany. She gave him the money, and got her change and left. On the way home she got off a stop early and went to the drug store to get the picture printed for Santana. By time she got home she was cold, but extremely happy that she had been able to get more for Santana than she had thought she would.
Most of her time at her house was spent at home on her computer and texting Santana. She didn't have any friends in town any more, and she was afraid to go out and see if she could find any of the people that she might have liked to have been friends with at local hang outs because she had no idea if Tommy was in town or not. And the last thing in the world that she wanted was to run into him.
Santana could tell, that despite Brittany's insistence that things were ok, things weren't very ok. The texts came pretty much non stop. Which didn't bother Santana so much as it made her worry. The phone calls were longer too. When she was at Rachel's she'd call and they'd talk for about half an hour before bed. But now she was talking to her at least twice a day on the phone, conversations at night lasting until one or both of them were too tired to keep talking.
Friday before Christmas Brittany's mom woke her up in the morning. "Brittany come on we've got to go to your consultation in an hour."
"What?"
"Your plastic surgery consultation. Get out of bed. I'm sure you need to shower first."
"I don't want that. I don't want surgery."
"You don't know what you're talking about. You haven't even talked to the doctors."
"No I'm not going."
"You will go." She took a deep breath. "Listen, go to the doctors and then if you don't want to have the surgery well obviously I can't force you."
"Fine." That didn't sound so bad. Go talk to a doctor and then her mom would accept her not having the surgery. By the time they got to the surgeons Brittany was positive this wasn't going to be so bad. She could probably just tell the doctor that she wasn't interested and then maybe it would go faster. She didn't tell Santana that she was going. She thought it would just make her mad. But she would tell her when she got home.
When they got into the examination room the doctor came in and told Brittany to take off her shirt. She hesitated, her mother urging her along. "I thought this was just an appointment where we talked about things."
"No I need to take pictures, we need to agree on a size."
"But I-I'm not sure if I w-want to do this. Mom you said I didn't have to."
"Brittany take off your damn shirt it's just a consultation we can talk about this at home."
Brittany slid off the table and lifted her shirt over her head.
"Bra too. Nurse, ready the camera." Brittany's hands were shaking as she slid off her bra. She knew in the back of her head that if she felt uncomfortable she shouldn't have to do this. But she didn't know how to stop what was happening. It felt completely out of her control.
She stood in front of a screen as this strange man said a lot of things she didn't understand, or couldn't hear because of how uncomfortable he was as he palmed her breasts, drawing dashed lines across her chests, and circles around her nipples. Arrows. X's. He mentioned as he pressed his fingers into the lines of her abdominal muscles that a little lipo-suction wouldn't hurt to define her muscles.
She spent the entire session trying not to cry. When he showed her the pictures of what her chest could look like if she was enlarged to a D, she didn't even look. She didn't care. She wanted Santana. She didn't want bigger boobs she just wanted someone who loved her the way she was. And she had that person about six hours away. She'd see her soon. She just kept her focus on that.
On their way out of the office, her mother mentions that bigger boobs would probably help her get a job in dancing. It was never more clear to Brittany that her mother has no idea who she is, and what she does. Furthermore, her mother also didn't care.
All she wanted to do was get home and crawl into bed and call Santana. Unfortunately her mother had other plans, which involved a million errands all over town. Brittany kept her distance, and responded to Santana's texts as she received them, not wanting to worry her.
Something was wrong with Brittany. Her answers were short and lacked and sense of who Brittany was. But any time Santana asked if she was ok Brittany just said yes, and that she'd call when she got home. Santana thought it possible that her mood was because she was being forced to spend time with her mother.
Brittany got home around 9:00pm and went upstairs and showered immediately. Scrubbing desperately at the faded marks still not completely wiped from her chest. She got out and went into her room, before she even got dressed she laid down in bed and called Santana.
"Hey Baby. You're finally home."
"Yeah I came home and showered. Today sucked Santana." Santana could hear Brittany's voice break a little.
"What's wrong Britt?" She cooed.
"My mother made me go to a consultation with the plastic surgeon about the boob job she still wants me to get."
"Fuck Br-"
"I told her no. She said if I went to the consultation and I didn't want them still, I didn't have to get them because she can't make me. So I'm not doing it."
"Ok. Are you ok though? You sound so sad?"
"It was just not a good feeling being there. He drew all over my chest and told me that I should get lipo to make my abs better. And my mom kept saying how it would help me get a job. But I don't need help San. I'm a good dancer."
"He touched you? Was he completely professional? He didn't hurt you did he Brittany?"
"No he didn't hurt me. And he was professional. I just hated feeling like I was just something he could change to make better."
"He couldn't make you better. You're beautiful, and amazing. Your body is perfect. So perfect B."
"I love you."
"Oh baby. I love you too." Santana said gently. Trying to convey everything she could to Brittany through the phone. Love. Admiration. Everything.
"Stay with me till I fall asleep? Unless you're busy. Are you with Quinn? I'm sorry if I'm bothering you."
"Not at all. I will stay on the phone with you as long as you want. I love talking to you."
Santana put the controller down and mouthed sorry to her brother who waved her off and she headed into her room and closed the door. "Can I put the phone down so I can get changed?" She got undressed and then climbed into her bed picking the phone back up. "Ok I'm back."
The conversation switched to much more pleasant topics after that. Brittany had started to think about Birthday plans but Santana told her not to worry about it. She had everything planned out. They talked about what Santana had done that day, and how her brothers were doing. Every little thing they could think of. Eventually Brittany stopped talking at all, and Santana could just hear her deep breathing through the phone. She knew that this was when Brittany had intended for the conversation to end but she couldn't bring herself to hang up the phone. If she closed her eyes this almost felt like they were back at school and Brittany was in her arms, and the sound of her breathing lulled Santana to sleep.
Brittany spends the next two days in her room watching movies on her laptop. She'd leave occasionally to get food and to sleep. Nobody questioned it and nobody asked her to come out. She barely heard her dad come and go, and hadn't said more than a few words to him since she'd been home. On Christmas Eve she came down at her mother's orders for an early dinner, which was awkward. Nobody really talked to each other. Her mother and sister talked the most but even that was stilted and uninteresting to her.
After dinner her mother called her into the kitchen to help with the dishes. When they were finished she'd put the towel down and went to go upstairs. Before she got out of the kitchen though, her mother stopped her again.
"Tomorrow Tommy is coming over for Christmas dinner, do you have anything presentable to wear? You can borrow something from your sister if you need to."
"I can't see him." She feels panic building in her chest. "He can't come here. I don't want him near me." She started to back up.
"You will see him. And you will do your best to make yourself look nice." Brittany shook her head back and forth.
"No. I can't. You can't do this."
"God Brittany, You're so fucking stupid. You can't do any better than him. Do you understand that?" Brittany's breath caught in her throat. Talk Brittany. Now is not the time to freeze up, she yelled at herself.
"No! I don't want anything to do with him!" she screamed at her mother. This was new, she nearly never stood up for herself and she would never raise her voice. Anger and hatred flashed across her mothers face as she raised her hand back and back handed Brittany across the face so hard she felt her neck strain with the force.
"You're an idiot. What do you think your little dance degree is going to do anything for you? You'll leave school and become a stripper or something. Nobody would ever put up with you. Who would? That boy is a saint, still with the patience to deal with you? You take this opportunity now because I refuse to take care for you for the rest for your life. You've been a burden for eighteen years now and I will not continue to carry that around."
Brittany couldn't stop the tears falling from her eyes. She didn't have any response. Was she that big of a burden? She couldn't breathe with the effort she was putting forth to keep the sobs at bay. But she was failing, and for the first time in a very long time she found herself crying in front of her mother.
"Fucking pull yourself together Brittany. He is coming to dinner tomorrow. Now get out of my sight you ungrateful little bitch and find a way to cover that up."