Scorpius Malfoy wasted most of his youth on anger.
His mother died when he was three. After that, his father all but disappeared from his life for a few years, lost in his own grief. And when he came back around, nothing was the same. He tried, but he was awfully aloof and operated without much tenderness. Most of the affection he received came from his grandmother – Narcissa – who couldn't exactly be described as warm herself.
Scorpius had a lot to be angry for. He had a lot to resent in his life and not much to hold onto in the way of happiness.
Until he met Albus Potter. Being happy with Albus was…easy. And during the times it wasn't, he found it easy to at least pretend. He learned the art of suppression well during their first year as friends.
Albus' smile was the brightest thing in Scorpius' life. From the very first one he earned, all he wanted was to receive more. He wanted to make Albus grin and laugh. He wanted to do anything in his power to make this boy happy. He wanted to touch his skin and feel its warm glow. Equally matched with his dreams of making his father proud, it was Scorpius' highest goal.
Looking back on it as an adult, he supposed he was always in love with Albus. He just could never really put words to it until they'd kissed. The sensation he received from his lips against Albus' was like the burble of excitement within him when he made the boy laugh. Except…intensified by an infinite number. It was bliss.
The anger never went away, even when he was with Albus. It never fully disappeared, there was always a small fire in his belly. He was always broken just a bit. Albus helped…but he couldn't always be around.
A fact proved by Lily's accident.
Scorpius had his own relationship with the girl. She was like an annoying little sister to him. He'd grown up without siblings and so had silently adopted Albus' as his own. After her death, the fury within him gained a new meaning. It was heartache. That feeling he was always pushing down was a broken heart. It never went away because he never let it heal.
Especially not when it was constantly being ripped open again and again.
After losing Lily, he lost Albus. Not fully, just in the way he had grown accustomed to. He lost the gentle kisses and the soothing caresses. He lost the seams sewing his heart back together over time and gradually became a mess. A mess he tried to hold together with an unbalanced relationship. Ruined ultimately by Albus himself, of course, just when he had tricked himself into thinking he might be able to get by without the other at his side.
It wasn't healthy in the slightest, but no matter how hard he tried, no one could hold him together the way Albus could. Louis just…wanted different things from a relationship that he did. And Paul…. Well, Paul was temporary. Paul wasn't meant to be anything serious. He was a stress relief. An in-between until Scorpius felt he and Albus were both ready again.
Truth be told, Scorpius should have allowed Albus back in after that kiss outside the Quidditch pitch. He could have saved them both an unnecessary amount of bickering and depression if only he'd pushed past that heartbreak-fueled anger. It was what they both needed. They needed to be one. They needed someone to hold onto when things felt overwhelming. Someone who really understood.
As much as he tried to pretend he was, Scorpius was just not a good person. He had too much bad blood flowing through his veins. And that was the true reason he needed Albus. Albus was born from light incarnate and he filled those missing spots inside of Scorpius perfectly. He saw Scorpius as good because he was practically looking in a mirror when they were together. He was looking at all of his own strengths reflected back at him.
"I like kissing you," Scorpius whispered against Albus' back, pressing his lips along the man's spine.
Albus' brilliant laugh in response sent a thrilling twinge through Scorpius' broken heart. Every laugh, every smile, every kiss and fuck and casual glance was mending him piece by piece. Slowly but surely for the rest of their lives in this domesticated bliss.
"I love you, too, Scor."
Those words and the lingering tingle of Albus' lips against his own was all he would ever need or want for the rest of his life. It was all he would ever need to mend his dark and broken heart. Albus was all he would ever need and he was stupid to have ever tried to deny it.