Hey guys, please don't kill me. I just lost inspiration concerning this story but I've kinda got it back. So yay for me :)

I love all of you rushers out there and thanks for reading my stories. I really appreciate it.

Disclaimer: I wish I owned BTR but sadly I don't.

On with the story ^^

Hot tears were now staining James' rosy cheeks as he remembered that dreadful day. The day when he was abandoned and practically left for dead by his own family. Quicky but gently, he wiped off his tears by the hem of his sleeves. James has suffered enough for 2 years,he went through a tough phase of being hated and rejected by his parents. And on top of that, being bullied in his school for his appearnce and the harsh fact that he was gay. If God truly hated the gays then why did he make them ? Is it some kind of twisted logic so that they would get through life suffering and end up burning in hell?

It's just so hard to bear all of this with being a teenager. He was supposed to be having the time of his life; celebrating his birthdays and having a loving family to support him every step of the way. He wasn't supposed to be living in an abandoned place, sleeping on a worn out mattress, showering with cold water in the Minnoseta icy weather. He wasn't supposed to be starving for days and crying himself to sleep. But mostly, he wasn't supposed to feel unloved. Love? There's no such thing. It's just something that some fools made up to so they can have sex without being cruelly judged.

Love is just a myth like tooth fairies,Santa..etc. No such thing as love exists. Period.

Pain. Now that was something realistic. In fact, it was the only thing that James was feeling right now and for the past couple of years. Both physical and emotional, but at this exact moment, since he luckily escaped the daily beating he was just feeling an excoriating emotional pain,his head was throbbing from crying so much, his eyes were red and puffy and his mouth was dry. Unfortunately for him, he had no water to drink or food for that matter. His heart was thrashing violently in his chest as he once again remembered Kendall's words.

How could I love a beautiful person inside and out, how could I love such guy? How could I love the amazing James Diamond?

Poor Kendall, he was just probably mesmerized by the pretty boy's appearance because there was no denying that James Diamond was one hell of a beautiful boy. It was as if he was sculpted by the Greek Gods themselves. Everything about him was just simply hypnotizing from his silky brown locks to his pale complexion to his hazel eyes and his well built body.

Kendall couldn't love James, Nobody loves James and even if they said they did, they would be lying. James learned that the really hard way and there was no way in hell he was going to let his guards down to anybody not even his current boyfriend,not to anyone. It would be a true miracle if somebody made James believe in love again because right now that word was foreign to him and had no sense whatsoever.

Humming a song to himself, James slowly drifted off to a dreamless sleep and that was the way he liked it. Only darkness surrounded him in his peaceful slumber. If only the same darkness could surround him in reality. If only...

"Morning babe." Dak said as he hugged James from behind and kissing his right cheek.

"Hi Dak." James said as he tried to enjoy the physical contact forom his current boyfriend and come to think about it his first boyfriend, Don't get me wrong, he had plenty of girlfriends before bacuse he was trying to desperately hide his sexuality but Dak was his first boyfriend.

"So about yesterday..." Dak trailed on with a worried look as he finally spun James around to meet his gorgeous hazel eyes but for some reason they looked kind of dull,emotionless and lifeless as if this James was just a shell with no soul.

"Don't worry about it. I'm fine." James assured his worried boyfriend but the truth is he wasn't. He was far away from fine but fine is just something we say to avoid further questions and interventions. Those things are totally uncalled for.

"Are you sure? I mean, I can kick his ass for you." Dak suggested with a smirk because he honestly hated the blond hockey head.

"That won't be neccesarry, but I appreciate it." James said as he let out a careless laugh.

"Okay...um... Can we go on a date this Saturday?" Dak asked whilst careesing James' cheeks.

"D-Date?"

"Yeah, I mean we're together now. We're supposed to go on dates,right?" Dak asked as he now wore a frown on his face, he really liked the brunette and he really wanted to go on a date with him.

"Yeah,great. That would be awesome."

"So, I'll see you at lunch?"

"Yeah."

"Later babe." Dak said as he kissed James' left cheek and gave him a warm hug muttering what sounded suspiciously like " I love you" in his ear.

"Bye." James whispered after Dak let go of him and made his way to his class leaving James standing alone by his locker.

"Hey James, wait up." James was making his way to class as he suddenly froze at the sound of Kendall. Keep walking James before that pretty face won't be pretty anymore. But he litterally couldn't move a muscle in his paralyzed situation until Kendall grabbed him by the arm and led him to the boys' restroom. James started thrashing around trying to get out of Kendall's hold but to no avail. Told you to keep moving your sorry ass.

"I'm not gonna hurt you, please just listen to me." Kendall said as he loosened his grasp and held James' face between his sweaty palms.

"O-Okay." James stuttered out as he looked down to the ground and kept staring at it as if it was the most important thing in the world. Anything to avoid eye contact? Smart move James.

"I'm sorry... about everything." Kendall said,his voice shaking from being too close to James and from fear of what he was about to do to James.

"Apology accepted, please let go of me." James half heartedly muttered,still refusing to meet Kendall's eyes.

"Please James, let me make it up to you." Kendall pleaded, his eyes stinging with unshed tears. Why wouldn't James look him in the eyes. Oh that's right, he's scared shitless of him.

"You don't have to do that. I honestly forgive you." James mumbled,still trying to free himself from Kendall's grasp " Please, I'm gonna be late to class."

"I know that sorry can't fix everything, but I'll try James. Please" Kendall pleaded once again as tears were starting to fall down his pale, pink-tinted cheeks.

"You're forgiven kendall,I don't hold a grudge now plea-" James started talking as he was cut off by Kendall's lips on his mouth. He wanted to kiss back but he couldn't,his mind and his body were both frozen. He has dreamt about this for so long that he now couldn't believe it was actually happenning. Kendall Knight was really fucking kissing him.

"I love you James... God, I'm in love with you." Kendall confessed as he pulled away disappointed and embarrassed from the kiss.

"K-Kendall...I don't...I-I-I"

"Please don't say you don't feel the same way, please" Kendall looked into his dead hazel orbs,his vision blurred from his own tears to even realize that the other teen has started crying as well.

"I'm sorry." James said breaking Kendall's fragile heart with his words as said boy freed him from his grasp and thus allowing him to leave the restroom.

"James..."