Chapter 7

Gaius took me to his house after he picked me up, mostly because I asked him to (I was afraid Arthur might show up early and over hear). He had let me rant in the car about Arthur, rogue guides and panic attacks. Staying quiet the entire time as I word vomited everything that had happened since the last time we spoke. I even told him about the kiss and how it felt and how I really didn't know what to do.

Once we got to his house Gaius gave me a cup of tea and just sat there until I finally stopped talking.

Gaius eyed me warily, seemingly being careful about what he was going to say, "I have a theory," he announced.

"Alright," I swallowed hard, "What is it?"

"After what you told me, I'm not sure if you want to hear it, Merlin, but I think it's important that you know," he sighed, "I think it might make you change your mind about moving as well. In fact, I'm starting to believe it won't make much of a difference. I think Arthur will follow you and find you anywhere at this point. You can't get away from it, he knows your scent now and with you being his guide and he being an alpha sentinel, it would be a moot point to run."

"You are definitely not making me feel better, uncle," I cringed, "Just be out with it."

"Well, there isn't much recent information on it," he began, "There hasn't been a reported one since the early 1900s, what you are is extremely rare."

"Yeah, what else is new?" I frowned.

"Have you ever heard of an alpha guide, Merlin?"

I furrowed my brow and shook my head. "I think that's what you are," he nodded, "Alpha guides are rarer than alpha sentinels. They have stronger emphatic powers than any guide heard of, but that's also their down fall, Merlin. An alpha guide cannot survive long without their sentinel. They need their sentinels shields to help protect them, eventually their empathy takes too much of wear to control on their own. I think that's why you feel such a pull towards Arthur. Your body is trying to protect you by bonding you to your mate before you can no longer control it. Also, in all the literature I've read, I've not found an alpha guide bonding with anything other than alpha sentinel. Alpha sentinels are the same to an extent, they must find their guide before it becomes too much for them to control, but there are plenty of reports of them bonding with a non-alpha guide."

I stayed silent for a few seconds before I whispered, "I don't even know what that means, uncle. All of what you said, it makes no sense to me. How could I of all people be an alpha guide? An alpha wizard guide? No, I don't think that's right."

"Merlin, it's not a bad thing," he reached out his hand to me, "In fact, it's incredible. I've been so astounded by the news. As an alpha guide, you would be the leader of all guides within the country, just like Arthur. You have incredible powers, Merlin, and you've been handling it all by yourself. Teaching yourself things that would take years for others to master. I've always thought you were smart, a bit lazy, but with a bit of a push I've never believed there was anything out there you couldn't handle. You becoming the alpha guide of all the tribes, it's your destiny, and if there is anyone out there I believe would be able to do it, it's you, Merlin. I know you're scared, it's not something you wanted or planned, but I know you, you can do it, Merlin, and I know you don't like the idea of anyone having any say on your future, and that wouldn't happen. I'm sure of it, if you want to be a doctor or that other thing you said, what was it? A hurricane chaser? I'm sure there is no one that would stand in your way, you wouldn't let them. You can do this. You can be the alpha guide wizard and you can be anything else you want to be. You don't have to be afraid, Merlin, you're not alone in this anymore. I will always be at your side. Everyone who loves you will and we will be there every step of the way."

"But this isn't fair," I answered, "I don't want to the leader of guides, I don't want to do be a guide wizard. I don't want any of this! I just want to be me!"

"Don't you understand? That is you. All of those things and more, they're all you. You have to stop fighting yourself, Merlin. You have to start embracing all of those things," He smiled and said, "You've always been special, Merlin. I've known that since you were born, all of these things, they just prove it. I know it's hard for you, but you can't run away from it. You're all those things because you were meant to be."

I let go of Gaius's hand and placed my head on the table, "But uncle, what if you're wrong? What if I can't do it? What if I fail?"

"You won't," He said petting my head, "I'm not saying it won't be hard or that you won't make any mistakes, but I know you won't fail. There are a lot of things I need to discuss with you, but I don't want you to be late to see your friends. I think you should call your aunt and tell her you'll be living with me instead. I can't try and squeeze everything in a couple of days, you have a lot to learn on both guides and wizards."

Gaius stood up and came towards me placing his hands on my shoulders, "I believe in you, Merlin. It's time you start doing the same."

I sighed, "Aunty Claurice will be mad, you know?"

"I don't think so, I've already spoken to her," he grinned.

"What?"

He winked, "Just give her a call and everything will be settled. Now come on, let's get you home so the knights can hold the meeting and I'll start clearing out your bedroom."

"Alright," I sighed, "Let's go. I have a lot to think about anyway."

I took a deep breath and sighed again, following him silently to the car. So his solution was to embrace everything? Embrace everything before my body betrayed me? Bond with Arthur? With a stranger? An irresistible stranger, but a stranger nonetheless, could I really, truly do that?

I didn't know, I wasn't as sure of all of this as Gaius was. Was this really my only solution? How did I know I could even trust Arthur? How did one even bond? I never bothered to learn about that, never planned on being bonded. Apparently, I don't have a choice now, but I wonder if there is a way to put it off. Lance had said that you weren't able to bond until you were 17, but maybe I can push it even more than just a year. Maybe I could wait until I was at least 30? Would Arthur agree to that? Could I even last that long without a bond? Would my body even let me put it off that long?

This really wasn't fair, why couldn't I just be a mute? Did I really have to become some leader of all the guides in the country? Would everyone start treating me differently? Gaius wouldn't, but Lance and Elyan both looked up to Arthur like he was royalty, I wouldn't want them to treat me differently. I was just me. I'd never want them to look at me differently at all.

When we arrived at my house, Arthur was already waiting. A glance at the clock said we were a half hour early, but I shouldn't have been surprised. I gave Gaius a side hug from my seat and stepped out of the car, "Call me after," Gaius told me. I nodded and waved him goodbye as he pulled away.

"You're early," I announced.

Arthur grinned, "I brought snacks."

"Excellent," I smiled, "But I think I need a proper meal first. You hungry?"

"I can always eat. You cook?"

I shrugged and walked to the door, "Wouldn't say I'm the best at it, but I make do. Anything in particular you want?"

"I'm sure whatever you make will be fine," he said following me.

"Last week, Gaius and I made cheesesteaks together. I think I'm in the mood for that and fries. Sound good?" I said, walking inside and dropping my bag near the door.

I walked him to the kitchen and waved around, "Just help yourself." I started to take everything out that I would need and watched him throw some things in the fridge and get himself a drink, "Anything I could help with?"

"Rinse and peel the potatoes, think you could handle that?"

He rolled his eyes, "Yes. I'm not an invalid."

"No, but you are a spoiled brat, from what I've been told," I grinned, "And I'm not really sure what a spoiled brat's cooking capabilities are exactly."

He chuckled, "Just tell me where the peeler is and I'll take it from there."

I pointed at a drawer, "Peel away, mate. I'll get the pan ready for them."

"Yes, chef!" he laughed, "So how was your visit with Gaius?"

"Informative," I sighed, "He may have just convinced me to stay."

"Really?" Arthur turned toward me, "You're staying?"

"It seems like the best thing, I guess. His argument made a lot of sense today, if he's right, and I suspect he is, then then best thing would be to move in with him. To stay in Albion."

Arthur grinned, "That's great!" and took a step toward me.

"BUT!" I said, stopping him, "I'm not sure I want to."

"Oh," his shoulders slumped.

"Not unless I can convince someone else I know to stay for longer than a month," I continued.

"Oh?" his smile started to come back.

"Yes, I know this guy and, though, I'm not sure why, we've been getting on really well and I want a real chance to get to know him, but he said he was only here for a month. Not sure how much I could get to know someone in a month. That's hardly anytime at all, don't you think?"

"You're right. You'd need much longer than a month," he said grinning.

"Exactly!" I exclaimed, "What do you think I can do to convince him?"

"Well cooking him a meal is good start," he nodded, "Maybe spending some more time with him and having a proper talk."

"Guess that makes sense," I hummed in agreement, "But would that be enough?"

"If not, I'm sure you could figure something else out as you go along," he said taking another step toward me and leaning down toward my ear, "I bet you have a lot of things to offer."

I gasped, "I don't know about that. What could I offer a spoiled brat?"

Arthur leaned away from me and smirked as I blushed, "Like I said you'll figure it out as you go along."

I cleared my throat, "Right then. Well you did say a meal is a good start, so let's get on with that then."

He grinned from ear to ear, "Yes, let's do that. I'm so glad you've decided to stay, Merlin. You can't imagine how happy it makes me to hear that."

I returned the grin, "Me too."

"There so many things I want to ask you; you know?" He said resuming his task, "So many things I want to I want to know about you. I know it sounded mad, but I was really considering following you to London after we found the guide. Like I said I don't know why, but I just feel like you're someone special to me. I don't think I'd be able to just let you go."

I continued preparing everything too, "I know," I sighed, "In fact, it all scared me so much I told Gaius about it. He's even began doing research on it for me, though, I doubt he'll find anything useful. Knowing him he'll start spouting something about destiny and fate or some nonsense."

"You don't believe in destiny?" Arthur glanced at me.

"I believe in making my own destiny," I shrugged.

"I believe in it," Arthur hesitated, "I believe that fate brought me here. That fate brought me to you and that our lives are destined to be intertwined. I feel it in my bones. I was meant to be here, Merlin. I was meant to know you."

"Hmm," I nodded, "And you are absolutely certain that you aren't using 'fate' as a euphemism for teenage hormones?"

"Shut it, you git!" Arthur laughed, "Here I am pouring my heart out to you and all you can do is stand there and make jokes! You're incorrigible!"

I laughed, "Aww! I didn't know you were so sensitive, Arthur."

"And I didn't know you were a complete wanker," he chuckled shaking his head, "Guess we both learned something today."

"Well I certainly did," I took pause, "At school today especially."

Arthur looked at me, quirking a brow, "What was that?"

I turned to Arthur fully and looked at his lips, "I never kissed a guy before. Didn't ever think I'd like it," I turned back around, "Are you done with those potatoes, yet? You're taking an awfully long time with them."

"Yes, I thought I'd chop them up for you, too," he answered, "I can handle that, you know."

"Oh good," I nodded, "Hurry it up then."

"Your ears always turn red when you blush?"

"Really?" I scoffed, "That's what you got out of that? Red ears? And to answer your question, I'm not telling you."

He laughed, "That's alright. I think I already know the answer anyway."

"Figures, that the first person I consider after Nimueh is a complete git," I laughed, "Story of my life."

"Doesn't bother you then? That I'm a guy, I mean?" he began chopping the potatoes.

"No, not really. I like who I like, might take a bit getting used to, but there's no changing it," I smiled, "I like you, Arthur. I haven't figured out the why yet, but I do," I turned to him, "How about that then? Does it bother you my saying it?"

Arthur stopped and turned around to me, I watched him take a slow deep breath and closed the distance between us, "I thought it would be better to wait," he whispered, "Before kissing you again, but now I don't think I can."

Arthur leaned closer to me and I whispered back, "This food is never going to get done, is it?"

He grinned, "I think this bit is a little more important right now."

"Well," I said placing my hand on his hair, "Best to carry on then."

"I like you, too," he said, before placing his lips on mine. We kissed slowly this time, taking our time, feeling his body press against mine, his hands make their way around my waist gently pulling me closer, my heart was racing, but time felt like it had stopped and that's when I felt it, that our hearts were synchronizing, that the more our lips melded together so was some other part of ourselves. It was the most amazing thing I've ever felt and the most terrifying. I pulled slowly away from Arthur and heard him groan in protest.

"I," I whispered, "That was… I think we really should take this slow, because I can't even begin to comprehend what that was."

Arthur leaned his head into the crook of my neck and breathed in deeply and sighed contently, "I know you're right. I think so, too, but damn, that really was something, wasn't it? Everything about you is just so perfect. So right," Arthur's arms tightened around me and he growled, "You've got to be mine."

I shuddered and pushed him away, "Excuse me?"

Arthur blinked and took a step back, "Sorry, sorry. It's the sentinel thing," he groaned and ran his hand through his hair, "It makes me feel so territorial sometimes and it just comes out. I didn't mean it the way it sounded, I swear."

I looked at my hands, "It's ok, I think," I sighed, "I guess I get it. Seen Lance get overprotective with Gwen enough times, but he'd never force her to be with him or anything. It's kinda like the same thing, right?" I looked back up at Arthur, "Let's just make sure we take things slow, alright? I get a bit jumpy when people make me feel like I have no say in the matter. In fact, pretty sure that's why Nimueh and I didn't work out. Don't want a repeat with you, you know?"

Arthur took a slow step toward me, "I'd never make you do anything you didn't want to, Merlin. I swear I just get territorial sometimes, but I'll learn to get a better hold of it. I'd never do anything to hurt you."

I let out a breath I hadn't known I'd been holding, "I believe you," I reached for his hand, "Let's just focus on getting to know each other for now and see where that leads us, ok?"

Arthur smiled and took my hand, "Absolutely. I'd like nothing more."

I grinned and squeezed his hand, "Well since you said that, I'll have to reluctantly admit, I like the possessive bit, just don't overdo it, ok?"

Arthur's eyebrows arched in surprised, "What?"

I laughed, "I know, I didn't expect it either," I tugged Arthur to me and whispered in his ear, "But I did find it quite sexy," I took a step back and dropped his hand, "Now get back to those potatoes, you! I'm hungry and you distracting me is not going to help that."

He laughed, "You're something else, Merlin."

"So you've said," I grinned. Arthur finally finished with the potatoes and I was finally able to get our dinner started and right when I was done the doorbell rang. I groaned loudly, "Come on! I just want to eat!"

Arthur laughed, "You get started, I'll get the door."

"Thank you," I smiled and started practically tearing through the food as he went towards the door.

I heard Lance's voice call out, "Merlin!" and a minute later he was at my side, stealing fries, "So are you really into him? I've been curious since you two kissed."

I slapped his hand away, "Yeah, but it's complicated."

"Because he's a sentinel?" he nodded, "That would make things complicated, but Gwen was looking some stuff up earlier and we were thinking, well they're rare, but maybe Arthur can bond platonically to someone, you know? Maybe that's why he likes a mute, because his guide and him will be bonded platonically and he can sense that."

For a brief moment an image of Arthur bonding with another guide flashed in my mind and I almost growled in outrage, but managed to reel it in before I let it out. Fuck, talk about feeling territorial.

"Actually, I had a question about that," I said changing the subject.

"What?" I heard Gwen's voice.

"The whole bonding thing," I frowned, "I never asked before, but now I'm curious. I know it makes you both stronger and connected, but how do you even bond? How does a bond help you either of you?" I laughed, "Well, guess that's more than one question, but I'm starting to think it'll be something I need to know."

"Why would you need to know that?" Arthur asked.

"Merlin plans to be a doctor who specializes in sentinels and guides," Gwen answered, "You are right, Merlin, you probably do need to know that."

"Actually, Merlin plans to specialize in wizards," Morgana quipped.

"Actually, I haven't decided at all yet," I shrugged, "Maybe I'll do both. Go on, Gwen, tell me."

"Well I've not bonded, so I'll explain it to you the best I can," she started, "There are two types of bonding. Platonic and physical. In a platonic bond, the guide and sentinel bond in, well, what we call the spirit world."

"Like with your spirit animals or something?" I asked.

"Yes," she smiled, "Well they're definitely involved in it and once they're bonded the sentinel provides a shield for the guide's empathy and the guide provides an anchor for the sentinel's senses."

"So neither gets overwhelmed by their abilities," I nodded, "Makes sense."

"Yes, but platonic bonds are a bit tricky. In a physical bond the guide and sentinel can be far from each other for long periods of time and it will never lessen or break the bond, but for a platonic bond it can take years for it to be strong enough to take that. It's believed that because of that is why most pairs are meant to have a physical bond."

"So platonic bonds are weaker?"

"No, not weaker, just takes a while to make them as solid and unbreakable as a physical bond. There has to be a strong sense of trust between the two who make a platonic bond work at all."

"But physical bonds are different?"

"Yes," Gwen nodded, "They generally provide better shields for the empath and, like I said, they aren't breakable."

"So then how do you bond physically?" I frowned, "Why is it different?"

Lance raised his hand in the air and grinned, "I'll answer that one!" He gave me a huge grin, "When she says physical, mate, she means sex."

Elyan slapped Lance on the back of the head, "That's not all it is, Merlin. Don't listen to this idiot."

"Ow! I never said that's all it was!" Lance groaned, "Why are all of you always hitting me?"

"Because you're a git," I told him.

"Anyway, yes, he's right about the, well, um that part," Gwen blushed, "But the way you bond isn't just that. A guide has to lower their shields and allow the sentinel to connect to them, during, well, anyway. They also create a connection in the spirit world, just differently and it creates a more solid bond from the start. We think it's because, generally, physical bonds all involve romantic relationships, that uh, I mean it's obvious really, more often than not your romantic partner is your most trusted one, right? I love Lance and I trust him with anything, but friendships are different. They can be a lot harder to maintain and a lot easier to neglect. On the other hand, I can't get away from Lance for the life of me," she laughed.

I looked at the few fries left on my plate and sighed. So what she just told me is that either Gaius wants me to traverse the spirit world with my spirit guide which I've never even seen and bond with Arthur platonically, although, I highly doubt that would work considering how we react to each other or Gaius has basically told me to have sex with Arthur when I turn seventeen to ensure I don't die. What. The. Fuck? So when he was saying, "You must bond with Arthur, Merlin! It's your destiny!" he actually meant, "You must fuck Arthur, Merlin! It's your destiny!" Seriously, uncle? That's your advice. Not that the idea of sex with him is off putting, but I don't want to have sex with anyone just because I have to. I just want to do it because I want to, because we both want to. Because it feels right, because we just like each other or love each other or something. Not just for a bond.

"Merlin?" I blinked, "Mate? Are you in there somewhere?" I blinked looking at Arthur's face. He had turned my chair around and I hadn't even noticed, "I'm here," I responded.

He frowned, "Where'd you go off to?"

I looked at down to my hands on my lap, "Nothing, just that it sounds weird. Having sex with someone to bond," I frowned again, "I don't get it."

Arthur kneeled in front of me, "It's not just for the bond, Merlin. Sentinel and guide pairs have sex to express their love and commitment to one another, the bond is just an added bonus. Look at Lance and Gwen or Elyan and Gwaine, even so young there is real love there. They care for each other deeply, that's the only reason their bond will work at all, because of how they feel for each other."

"But isn't the whole guide sentinel thing what brought them together in the first place?"

Arthur shook his head, "Not exactly. It never would've brought them together if it didn't already know what they didn't yet. The kind of relationship they could build together if they put the effort in and it only works because they put the effort in. It's what makes the strongest pairs, the strongest bond. It's the same for a platonic bond, just different. It only works if both sides willingly work towards building a strong relationship."

I looked up at Arthur, "So it's basically like their everyone else? Looking for the one they can build the strongest relationship with, except they get a little extra help?"

Arthur grinned, "Exactly. They just have an extra sense that helps them find the right person."

"Do you think that extra sense you have is why you like me?" I tilted my head to the side.

He shrugged, "I don't know. It's possible."

"Then," I looked at Gwen, "Do you think you would've ended up with Lance even if you were both mutes?"

"I don't doubt it," Gwen looked at Lance, "Might've taken a bit longer, but I honestly believe I would've never felt the way I do for Lance, for anyone else."

Mordred muttered, "I don't know if it's a sure thing with Morgana, even if we work on it. All I know is that we're willing to try, but I expect sometimes guides and sentinels feel the same way."

"Especially in the beginning," Gwaine added, "When I first met Elyan, I questioned everything."

"Hey!" Elyan frowned.

"Oh come of it! You were a complete stranger then," Gwaine rolled his eyes and looked at me, "I kept thinking like what if the guide in me is wrong? What if I'm broken? What if I don't like him? And anytime he would make me laugh or do something that would make me think I liked him, I would think it's only the guide in me that likes him. I'm not feeling this way because I actually like him, it's just the guide in me that likes his sentinel, but then I got to know him and trust him and I found that my instincts were right," Gwaine reached over to Elyan and squeezed his hand, "And the more I know him and the more we grow together the stronger that feeling is. He is right for me."

"What did you just say?" Arthur asked, his eyes widening.

Gwaine frowned, looking at him, "I said he's right for me."

"Right for you?" He repeated, "Maybe even perfect for you?"

I stiffened in my chair, staring at Arthur while listening to Gwaine's response, "In a way, yes."

Arthur tilted his head at me, watching me curiously, "What?" I asked, "What is it?"

Arthur stood up and took a step back from me, "Is there something you want to tell us, Merlin? Tell me?"

I frowned, furrowing my brows, "What are you talking about?"

"How on earth could I feel the same way about you as Gwaine feels about his sentinel?" Arthur yelled, "Is there something you want to tell me, Merlin?!"

My eyes widened and my heart started racing, "What?" I whispered.

"Arthur, what are you saying?" Mordred asked.

"This!" Arthur waved his hand toward me, "This is what makes sense! Why I feel this way! From the first moment I saw you, I felt it! All my instincts pointed to you! And as soon as I got here, you were just itching to get away!"

"Arthur! Stop!" Lance shouted, Elyan and him walking quickly in front of me, "You're getting hysterical, mate!"

"No I'm not!" He answered back, "Merlin is a guide, Lance!"

"What?!" Gwen shrieked, "What are talking about, Arthur?!"

"He is my guide, Gwen!" He took several steps back, hitting a wall and sliding down, looking at me, "You're my guide. Why wouldn't you tell me?"

He looked so hurt, so pained, my heart broke, "I've been looking for you for so long," he continued, "I've been waiting for you. So afraid that you weren't out there at all, that I'd never find you. Why wouldn't you just tell me?"

Morgana was the first to approach him, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder, "Arthur, you're wrong. I understand that whatever you may be feeling for Merlin may be confusing, but he's been tested since preschool, none of his family are guides or sentinels, there's no way he could just hide something like that and you know that."

Arthur looked at her warily, "You don't understand, Morgana. He's everything to me. Everything. And I just met him."

Gwen joined Morgana and I sensed her using her empathy to calm Arthur, "She's right, Arthur, and you know that."

"Maybe she's not," Lance said, turning to look at me, "You do keep a lot of secrets, Merlin. I love you, mate, but you have been acting a little weird since you heard of him coming and that is how I felt about Gwen when I first saw her."

Elyan looked at Lance, "I can agree with that, mate, but that doesn't mean Merlin's a guide."

"But maybe it does," Gwaine frowned, "I've sensed you panicking at some odd times, Merlin. Never figured out why."

"All of you need to stop!" Mordred yelled, "That is enough! Merlin, whatever it is you are or aren't hiding doesn't matter. You're our friend and we will protect you!" He looked at both Lance and Gwaine, "No matter what that means," he looked at Arthur, "You're a decent sort, but if Merlin isn't or is a guide, if he doesn't want you to know then I'll do whatever I need to, to protect him. He'd do the same for me."

Lance looked down, "Sorry, but he's right, Arthur," he glanced at me, "Sorry for hesitating for a minute, mate, I just wished you'd tell me."

"Yeah," Gwaine agreed.

I took a deep breath, "Arthur, I don't know what it is you feel for me, but, please, trust me," I slowly stood up, "I'm just me. Nothing else."

Arthur looked at me as I continued, "Please, you have to trust me."

"I do," Arthur whined, "But-"

"I'm staying, Arthur," I reminded him, kneeling in front of him, "I said I was going to stay and figure everything out. Get to know you, remember? I'm not sure of what's going on myself. I don't understand it all either, but I'm staying here, with you and we will figure it out."

Arthur reached his hand out to me and I took it, "I know we don't know each other well, but trust me. I'm sure all of this will make sense eventually."

Arthur pulled my hand to his face and breathed me in, "Ok. We'll figure it out together. No running away."

I nodded, "No running away."

I could see Arthur beginning to calm down, "Eventually, when you feel you can, you'll tell us everything you're hiding?"

"I'm sure of it," I answered honestly, "I just can't right now."

Arthur and I stood up and I could sense everyone in the room beginning to calm down. Mordred patted my shoulder, "You remember, Merlin. We've got your back. No matter what it is."

I smiled, "I know."

"So you're staying?" Morgana asked.

"Yeah, Gaius and I had another one of our talks," I nodded, "I'll be moving in with him so he can help me sort it out, but yeah I'm staying."

"Oh Merlin!" Morgana jumped towards me and hugged me, "I told you! I told you leaving wouldn't do you any good!"

"Yeah," I grinned, "Right again, as always, Morgana. I'm so glad I won't have to say bye to all of you," I squeezed her, "I really didn't know how I was going to manage that."

Gwen joined in, "You should've never even thought about moving," I hugged her back.

Morgana and Gwen stepped away as Lance barreled to me and almost tackled me to the floor, "You git! You stupid git!" he said squeezing the breath out of me, "You're a bloody idiot!"

"I know," I gasped, "I'm a bloody idiot who needs to breathe, Lance!" Lance let me go grinning, "I'm glad you've seen the light, mate, don't ever think of running off on your own again."

Mordred smiled, "I knew you'd see reason," I threw my arm over his shoulder and smiled, "Yeah, just a bit slow on the uptake sometimes."

Gwaine gave me a punch on my shoulder and Elyan gave me another bear hug.

I grinned, "Alright knights! Enough distractions! We're here to focus on the rogue guide! Let's get this meeting started," I stepped out of the room and came back with a gavel, "Everyone take a seat."

I sat down and soon as everyone settled down, I banged the gavel on the table, "Let the meeting begin."

Gwen frowned, "Looks like Nimueh couldn't make it."

"She'll come around eventually, Gwen," Morgana answered, "I'm sure of it."

I nodded in agreement, "Let's start with what we do know. Mordred if you please."

Mordred nodded, "Well we know the guide is a student, I think it's important that Arthur tells us when the guide was first spotted around here."

"About five years ago is the first report," Arthur answered, "But it's spotty since then. We suspect that many people who've met the guide choose not to report him or her. We've had only four sightings all together and they're months apart. None in the same place and not enough to distinguish a pattern. They're spread throughout Albion. The last sighting was 7 months before I got here."

I thrummed my fingers, "Can we know the locations of all these sightings? Maybe you can't see a pattern, but we know the favored spots for teen hangouts here, maybe we'll see something you didn't."

Arthur nodded and went to get the bag he'd brought with him, "I brought the files with me."

"We suspect the guide is in high school now and in the 14-18 age range, but we could be wrong. One of the main problems of the sightings is that no one could give a matching description other than height and weight range, nothing else is the same."

Arthur placed the files in front of me and sat down, "Another thing, the guide uses a sentinel approved deodorizer, we can't get a clear scent from any of the locations."

"So we know, on top of everything else, the guide is good at hiding from sentinels," I nodded, opening the first file, "He or she must have good knowledge or access on knowledge about them."

"There isn't much information out there for mutes, though, only basic things," Mordred said, reaching over for one of the files.

I read slowly through the file and sighed, "If they're in high school, all they'd have to do is befriend a sentinel/guide pair. If they trust them enough, he or she could gain that knowledge from them. We also don't know if the guide has someone with access to that information."

Lance looked at me, "You always ask us about that stuff," he arched a brow.

I snorted, "Yeah, but I don't need to. I could ask Gaius or uncle Teddy," I paused and rolled my eyes, "I'm not the rogue guide, Lance."

"Yeah," Arthur nodded, "There's something else about this guide that makes him or her very unique."

"Glamour potions?" Mordred's eyes widened, "You think the guide is using magic to hide?"

"At least when the guide is helping people, yeah," he nodded, "We think the reason why they're interested in this guide isn't just his strong empathy."

"What do you mean?" Elyan asked frowning.

"You think the guide is a wizard?" I asked, stiffening in my chair, "A guide wizard?" I looked up from the file at Arthur, "How?" I thought I was the only guide wizard.

"Every report has him or her using at least some kind of magic," Arthur answered, "Potions and spells."

"Oh," Lance whispered.

I took a deep exhale and looked at the pictures in the file, stand stills from the cctv that had captured him. I shifted through the rest of the files, even snatching the one back from Mordred and looking at all the pictures. Of the guide wizard helping unbonded sentinels that had zoned. Pictures of the glamour he'd use to hide himself. I recognized all of them. Fuck. What? It can't be. This cannot be real.

"Merlin?" Gwaine looked at me, "You ok?"

I stood up and took a deep breath, "A guide wizard."

"No one's ever heard of one," Arthur nodded, "It's a pretty big deal. At first we thought the sentinel was wrong, but with multiple reports, we couldn't risk not investigating it. Somehow, others got wind of it. We have to make sure he or she is safe before anyone else can get to 'em."

"What would they do to him?" I asked, "If the others caught him? If you guys caught him? What will happen?"

"I'm sure they would force the guide to bond with a sentinel. It's dangerous," Arthur said, "Forced bonds with incompatible pairs can be dangerous. Painful."

"And what would you do with him?" I asked, "Take him to a guide school?"

"Well, we'd take him somewhere we can keep him safe," Arthur answered, "Help the guide find a sentinel. He or she would be safest bonded as soon as possible and we'd keep the guide safe far long after that."

"Keep the guide safe," I repeated. Watched. Limited. Every waking move accounted for, because who would give up looking for a wizard guide. A powerful wizard guide. And that was when they still didn't know about the alpha thing. I laughed and shook my head. This is why I hid. Everything I never fucking wanted, thrown right at me. A sentinel and having people watching me the rest of my life. 'Can't go there, Merlin. It's too dangerous.' Gaius was so wrong. He was so, so wrong. I can't do this. I can't have my entire life taken control of by all these people. So they can what? Study me? Keep me safe? Can't do anything because I'm oh so special! "Can't blame him," I said out loud.

"What?" Arthur frowned.

"I said I can't blame him for hiding," I shook my head, "If it were me I'd hide, too. Who the hell wants to live their entire life under someone's eye? Or be controlled?"

"We wouldn't control him," Arthur said furrowing his brows.

"Are you joking? You just said you would! Take him somewhere safe and keep him safe," I laughed, "Poor sod won't even be able to live where he wants to because it's just not safe."

"I think we're getting a bit off topic here, Merlin," Mordred interrupted, "Whatever the logistics are, I'm sure we can try and work something out that the guide would be happy, but we can only do that once we make sure he or she is safe. Worrying about that stuff now won't do us any good."

I shrugged, "Maybe he is safe."

"Obviously not," Lance frowned, "What's gotten into you all of a sudden?"

I walked to my room and closed the door. I knew what I was about to do was crazy and that I'd definitely had finally snapped, but at the moment I couldn't bring myself to care, I looked in the back of my closet for my emergency bag. I had always kept it packed and ready. Packed with potions, money, a spell and potions book and some clothes. I turned on the radio and opened my bedroom window.

Yup, you guessed it, with a house full of sentinels, guides, and wizards, I was still crazy enough to make a run for it. Literally. I had finally lost my mind. I jumped out the window and was about to make my way across the yard to hop over the fence to my neighbor's yard when I heard it.

"Please stop! I'm not a guide!"

My heart shuddered, I recognized that voice. "Nimueh!" I yelled out and made my way as fast as I could towards it.

I found her near the front of my house. One of the men dressed as a guard had her. "What the hell?" I found everyone standing feet away and a group of men dressed completely in black surrounding Nimueh and her captor.

Morgana grabbed my arm, pulling me behind one of the guards that had come with them, "One of the guards was apparently a fake and grabbed her," she said quickly, "Claiming she's the rogue guide they've been looking for. It doesn't make any sense. Nimueh went through all the tests everyone else did. She's not a guide, but they're refusing to back down."

"Let her go," Arthur commanded, "Or you will face severe consequences."

The man snorted at him, "She's ours. No way are we letting her go."

The blood drained from my face.

"She's not the one you're looking for," Arthur answered, "She's already been investigated. You've got the wrong person. Let. Her. Go."

"What?" I looked at Arthur, "Investigated?"

"We've been looking for the guide wizard as well," Arthur went on, ignoring me, "We have leads, but she's not one of them anymore."

"What?" I said incredulously.

"Shut up, kid!" the guard near me growled.

"Not until one of you explain what the hell is going on," Morgana hissed, "That's our friend they have over there."

"Just tell them," Arthur ordered in an annoyed tone, "I don't need any more interruptions right now."

The guard huffed, "There have been reports of a wizard guide helping zoned out sentinels in the area. It seems your friend was caught on CCTV very nearby one of the incidents, so she was investigated, but ruled out. These idiots have the wrong information."

My heart started to go ballistic. They've even gotten as close to me as investigating Nimueh? Fuck. I remember helping those sentinels. I couldn't stop myself. They were calling in need and I had to respond. I couldn't just leave them like that and now it was being used against me? I felt betrayed.

I started to shake. I couldn't believe this.

Arthur didn't take his eyes off the men but gave me a slight nod, "The wizard guide has to be found. It's the only way to protect him or her."

"And what else?" I barked, "Protect him and what else? Keep him locked up and examine him? It's no wonder he hides! He just wants to be left alone!"

Everyone turned to look at me, including the guards holding Nimueh, but Arthur was the first to speak, "You know who it is, don't you?"

I looked at Nimueh and looked down at my hands, my heart was beating out of my chest, but I had to do this. Had to. I couldn't let them take Nimueh away. I wasn't going to let her get hurt because of me. I focused my energy on the men holding her and did something I've only done a handful of times in my life. I used my empathy to send them a suggestion (although, it was more like a declaration), but kept my shields up so the others couldn't detect it was me sending it. I wasn't entirely sure it was going to work. Not until I saw the recognition in their eyes as they looked at me.

I looked at Nimueh and closed my eyes, taking a deep inhale, and reopened them. My nerves were a mess. I was terrified of what was going to happen, but, no matter what, I was going to protect her and everyone else. The hunt for them was over. With my decision made I pushed past the guard in front of me and ran half way to the men holding her.

"A trade," I announced, "Her for me. Let her go first. You guys are faster than me you can get to me before I try to get away."

"Merlin! What the hell do you think you're doing?!" Arthur growled, trying to get to me.

"Stay back or she's dead!" They warned him, making him stop.

"Merlin!" he hissed at me.

I gave him a determined look, "I know what I'm doing," I lied.

The fake guard holding her watched me warily, "Come closer first, I don't want to chance them reaching you."

I nodded and took several more steps, "Let her go," I repeated. Two of them stepped towards me, one holding Nimueh and the other empty handed. He quickly grabbed my arm and pulled me towards him and the other shoved Nimueh towards the group watching everything in stunned silence.

Nimueh screamed and scrambled towards everyone.

I grunted as he gripped me hard and dragged me further away from everyone. I looked at Arthur, if this was really the last time I was going to see him, then he had the right to know. As they were putting cuffs on my wrists, I focused on him, enveloped him in my empathy, created a shield around us both and exposed myself so he could see me for who I really was. And, fuck, if it didn't feel good. Being intertwined in his emotions, even if it was just superficial without a bond, it felt fucking fantastic. I felt so at peace, so protected with just this bit of him. All my frayed nerves just smoothed out and I drank him in. Drank him like a dehydrated man in the middle of the desert. I felt him rumbling through my empathy, expanding in it. It was exhilarating. It was a kind of high I didn't even know existed. I couldn't even begin to imagine what bonding to him would be like. I saw his eyes widen in recognition and he took a step toward me.

"Stay back!" one of the men yelled, "Stay back or we kill him!" He grabbed me by my neck, almost crushing it. I gasped, struggling against his grip. Arthur looked at him and then back at me, "He's mine. You can't take him from me."

The man snorted, "Fuck you, kid. He's ours," he started dragging me and the rest of the group slowly followed us, keeping their eyes on Arthur.

"I will get him back," Arthur growled, "And when I do, I will kill each and every one of you for daring to put your hands on my guide."

And I was. I was his guide. I was his guide and now I might never see him again. How could I have been so stupid?

I struggled with the man as he shoved me roughly into a black SUV with tinted windows. Fuck! I had to figure out a way to get out of this. A way to get back to him. There had to be a way. It was NOT going to end like this for him and I. I wouldn't let it.

Author's note: I had a bad day today and I have no beer. Life sucks. I hope you like the chapter. Cheer me up with a review?