It had been three months since Imhotep, now Siris, came to live with them. He finally got the hang of Japanese and English, and he was a hit with the magical half of Mokuba's select body guards. If Mokuba approved of them, then they were hired. If not, then they were out on the curb.
It didn't hurt that Mokuba was an Empath.
Frankly Seth was becoming beyond bored. Since he wasn't needed to keep the timeline straight, Imhotep was dealt with once and for all, and he had no desire to visit England after destroying the time turners like he was asked, he had nothing to do. Even watching Yugi get stronger in Shadow magic was boring.
(Well that and since they finally had enough teachers he was no longer needed to help Mokuba and the others.)
In short, nothing was happening.
At least, that was the case until Marik was nabbed by some idiots in skull masks and goth looking robes.
Yugi immediately went to find Seth, without his Puzzle on because the Pharaoh was sniping at the Egyptian when he was kidnapped.
"You said someone wearing tacky skull masks and goth robes kidnapped Marik while you were talking to him? Are you sure?" asked Seth seriously.
"Yes, and they were speaking English. Something about luring the Boy-who-lived into a trap by dragging his cousin back to England..."
Seth stared at Yugi for a good two minutes before he cracked a grin. He was resisting the urge to die laughing just barely.
"Oh this is fucking hilarious! Those morons actually took Marik as a hostage?" he roared with laughter.
"Aren't you worried?"
"Yugi, Mokuba could beat these guys! Take away their sticks and they're defenseless! Why the hell should I be worried about Marik when Malik will just get pissed off and kill them all?"
Yugi blinked. He had forgotten about Malik since he assumed the darker half was sealed off. Apparently not.
"...Ano, if it's not too much trouble could I hang out with you guys occasionally? Anzu can get a bit screechy..."
"Ditch the Pharaoh and we'll let you hand out with us occasionally," said Seth promptly.
"By the way, what is his name? It's a total pain to keep calling him Pharaoh all the time, and I want something to yell at him."
"Losing your idol worship after that incident with the dragons?"
Yugi nodded emphatically. He had not enjoyed that at all. First time was because of Pegasus, second time was because of the fact that the Pharaoh's ego was out of control.
(A/N: If you don't believe me rewatch the episodes where Atem challenges that one guy and lost during the whole Atlantis arc. He told Atem BEFORE the stupid duel that he had already released the hostage and Atem STILL uses the blasted Seal of Orihalcos even though he knew what would happen if he lost. He needs an Ego Check, immediately!)
The phone shrieked at them before Bakura picked it up.
"Hello, you have reached the residence of 'Fuck off and Die', shall I take a message?" he asked sarcastically. He had a hang over, by Bast, and he was going to make someone else's life hell if it killed him. Seth snorted in amusement.
Bakura paused, then put it on speakerphone to Seth's confusion.
"For the love of the Gods, someone get me out of this fucking country already! I have magical cops looking for my ass, some pedophile grandpa trying to recruit me with a weird look in his eyes, and some snake-obsessed fucker pissed at me for killing most of his men!" screamed Marik infuriated.
Seth listened to the tirade before laughing so hard beer shot out of his nose and he fell off the couch and hit the end table. It was not a pretty sight.
Bakura looked at the phone in annoyance.
"Use shadow travel to get home. It's not like you don't know how."
"The fucking cops put a magic seal on me you asshole! Said I broke some statute of Secrecy or some bullshit! Not to mention Shaadi showed up pissed off about something and said I wasn't allowed to use the Shadow Realm for a while!" retorted a pissed off Marik. He was not in the best of moods.
"Yeah, well why the fuck haven't you tried going to the Muggle police and get deported to Egypt you halfwit?!" snapped Seth.
"... Fuck me, why the hell didn't I think of that?"
"You're welcome and I'll come bail you out of Egyptian jail once this hang over passes," said Seth.
"FUCK! WHY WON'T THESE DAMN SNAKE FETISH BASTARDS LEAVE ME ALONE!?"
"Marik, hang up and let Malik have some fun! Magic seals don't cover split personalities dumbass!" shouted Seth.
Soon the phone was hanging off the hook and the sound of screams and maniacal, unhinged laughter was heard. Much to their surprise it never cut off and frankly they were too drunk to care about hanging it up.
Seth could only guess that Marik had used his magically powered cell phone which had an over abundance of minutes since he rarely used it and just kept adding to it in order to keep the number active.
Eventually the sounds changed and they could all hear him being dragged into a court of sorts, and then sentenced to what amounted as hell on earth for magical or muggle alike.
Azkaban.
Seth blinked, all pleasant drunkenness gone.
How dare they throw Marik into there when he was dragged into England against his will! Even Malik wouldn't last very long in that hell! Once Marik finally realized where he was and which cell...as well as the fact that the call was still active, he told them the exact location.
No way in Anubis' cold embrace was he staying there longer than a few hours!
Seth borrowed one of Kaiba's planes, this one designed with him in mind. Because of Seth, Kaiba's stock had taken a large jump off a cliff and came up soaring like a dragon.
Seto Kaiba had been very pleased with the new, untouched market which his rivals had no knowledge of.
Because Seth was such a 'valued employee' and he had a legal pilot's license to fly solo on most airplanes, Kaiba had another "Dragon Jet" designed solely for Seth's personal use. Below the pilot and co-pilot's seat was a large cargo and loading bay big enough for twenty people to sit in comfortably and still move around...or a few cars.
It had raised a few eyebrows in the company, but considering Seth was one of Kaiba's favored employee's and he protected Mokuba quite a bit, no one commented.
Seth still had to pay for fuel though. Kaiba wasn't that generous.
The jet/cargo plane was in the shape of a Red Eyes Darkness Dragon. Which basically meant he had a plane that looked like a Hell-spawned Red Eyes Black Dragon on Infernal Steroids and pumped full of magic. Not something you want to cross in the middle of the night or in a foul mood.
Seto thought it highly appropriate, since Seth was also something no one wanted to cross in the middle of the night or when pissed off. Mokuba had found it amusing.
Seth was just glad that even though he was stuck with a version of the Mutt's Ka beast, it was one he could agree to.
(Mutt is the nickname Seth and Seto have for Joey. And yes, he is very aware of that fact.)
It also had a video camera mounted in both eyes, so Seth could record the reaction to the dragon plane.
"REDD One, this is Control, you are clear for take-off," said the control tower.
Seth had finished checking his new plane. This was the first official take off, and he had an excellent co-pilot in Rashid. He had bailed his fellow Egyptian out from going on a shopping excursion with Anzo and Isis.
The man was more than happy to help be a co-pilot to avoid that madness.
What really amused him though was who was in the passenger seats below.
Yugi had ditched Jounouchi and Honda (and left his Puzzle) to come help rescue Marik. He still felt bad that the Egyptian had been taken while he was talking to him.
Seth clicked the microphone and decided to play captain to the group downstairs. This aught to be fun.
"Welcome gents, to Air REDD. This is your captain speaking, and in just a moment we will be taking flight to rescue a pair of idiots who we happen to care about. Please keep your belts fastened until we reach the maximum altitude, and for the love of the gods don't try to join the mile high club unless you want to be the ones to clean up the resulting mess," said Seth in Egyptian. He used the monitors to see their reaction.
Bakura was flipping him off, Ryou looked bored (he spends his days around Bakura and Seth. He's immune to this kind of banter now) and Yugi was as red as a tomato. Imhotep had stayed behind, wanting to protect Mokuba in case this came back to bite them in the ass. Seth had agreed to it immediately.
The kid was a kidnapping magnet, and he would swear to the gods on that...
Inside the passenger hold...
Bakura gave Yugi an odd look.
"Where's the Pharaoh? I thought he wouldn't let you come rescue Marik?"
Yugi gave him an odd look as well.
"The Pharaoh can go to hell. After that little stunt he pulled during the entire mess with the Orihalcos seal, I can't wait to get rid of the bastard. The jerk is more into himself than Kaiba, and that's saying something," said Yugi flatly.
Being stuck inside a bubble for an entire week had given him time to think about his situation. It had become very clear that most of his friends only became his friends because of the Puzzle, and they would leave once the Pharaoh was sent away. Plus there was the fact that the Pharaoh had started to develop an odd fascination with Seth for some reason, and this was the first moment of peace he had gotten in over a month since their return.
Bakura stared at Yugi in amusement/shock/respect.
"So are you saying what I think you're saying?" he said in awe.
Yugi looked him dead in the eye and said "The Pharaoh can fuck off and die."
Ryou looked at Yugi with new light, as if he had never seen the kid before. Bakura was crowing that finally, finally the chibi Pharaoh had some sense knocked into him! Above Seth was grinning because he had expected this to happen for over a month now when the Pharaoh started giving him lusty looks like he used to.
The idea of being with that arrogant blowhard was enough to make his skin crawl.
Yugi was still an innocent in the minds of Bakura and Seth, but that could easily be remedied later. For now they had someone to help them ditch the Pharaoh.
Marik was bored out of his damn mind. The Dementors knew better than to piss of a Shadow Caster (as they knew of those who used the Shadow Realm) so they avoided him. The prison was set to absorb magic, but it wasn't doing a good job with his.
At least he had the top floor, which made rescue a hell of a lot easier. Plus Seth had put Tetris on his phone, so he had something to do.
He cursed as if he had stubbed his toe (Isis had not been pleased when a few days of being with Bakura and Seth they had upgraded his swears to include some rather foul ones from Egypt) when he died again.
It was around this time he heard the sound of what was definitely engines, and high powered ones at that. He managed to get a good look and nearly backpedaled at the sight of glowing red eyes behind a malevolent gaze...right until he saw Seth and Rashid laughing at him in the cockpit.
"It's about fucking time! GET ME OUT OF HERE!" demanded Marik.
Seth grinned and extended the left front 'claw' (which was part of the landing gear, but Kaiba had paid extra so it could be used for other things at Seth's suggestion...right after he had the same upgrades added to his own Blue Eyes White Jet) which ripped through the stone like butter.
Wards or not, that claw was stronger than stone which was falling apart anyway.
Marik grinned, and walked onto the claw which retracted back up to the jet. Bakura was waiting with a large plank which he expertly walked along into the passenger bay.
You didn't live with a pair of thieves and not learn how to keep your balance and walk like a cat after all.
Yugi was shivering, but not out of cold. He was just too innocent, and the Dementors were not pleasant things to be around.
"I feel sorry for those people in there."
Seth overheard his comment, and an idea came to him. He grinned evilly.
"Oy, Marik... How does pissing off the English sound?"
Marik switched to Malik.
"Undo this fucking seal and we'll tear down that fucking Ministry of theirs!" he snarled.
To say Malik had been less than pleased about the seal was an understatement. He was in a murderous with a hefty dose of 'let's slaughter the fuckers in as many horrifying ways as possible' mood.
Malik joined Seth in the cockpit, where he ripped the seal to shreds. The Egyptian sighed with relief when his magic came back.
"First we release the prisoners...and we will be checking to see if they're worth the trouble Yugi...then we'll deal with this Riddle character once and for all."
"Don't forget Dumbledore. He's the fucker who suggested the seal," snarled Malik.
"The old goat too. He's gotten on my nerves enough to warrant death by my pets."
As per her usual method, Bast made herself known.
"You do realize that if you drop both in the side pocket where your pets are, you'll be fulfilling the prophecy Dumbledore tried to set you up for right?"
"And I should care why?"
"Because the English will attempt to capture and change you."
"Pah... Only way they'll manage that is if they can get the Egyptian Minister to agree to it, and he never will. He knows that I'm the only connection they have to their past, and the fact I don't mind sharing the old texts means they'll never get rid of me."
"Good point. Plus they know that you are my avatar, and no real wizard wants to piss me off."
"But first, let's piss of the English!" said Seth cheerfully.
Bast yowled in agreement. This would be fun.
MASS BREAKOUT IN AZKABAN! SUSPECTED EGYPTIAN DEATH EATER ESCAPES ON DARK DRAGON!
Marik was very displeased.
"Oh come on! I wasn't even wearing sleeves, and they claim I had the Dark Mark! What kind of morons are they?" he demanded.
"They marry their own cousins. What does that tell you?"
"Their hubris is almost as bad as the Pharaoh's?" asked Yugi. He had once again ditched the Pharaoh and the others to hang out with Ryou and Marik.
Bakura barked out his laughter at the joke, but agreed with the assessment.
"So Yugi, you got a passport?" asked Seth with a smirk.
"I got one before we went to America because of that entire mess with Atlantis. Why?"
"We're heading to Egypt to straighten a few things out. Plus there's a woman I plan to meet there."
"Who?" asked Ryou.
Seth told them. Ryou couldn't help his reaction.
He started laughing almost like Bakura would.
"She'll skin them alive!"
"That's the idea," said Seth dryly.
"Are we going to be gone a while?"
"Yup."
"Let me call Grandpa. I'm sure he'll approve once he hears why."
Yugi had, at Seth's suggestion, told his grandfather everything he knew about the Puzzle and the Pharaoh. Much to his relief, Solomon wasn't surprised in the least. As a result, he knew the boy needed a break from the madness that followed Yami (what Yugi called the Pharaoh) around.
Plus Yugi had a genuine interest in Egypt long before the Pharaoh came around, and this would help Yugi out in his hopes to be an Egyptian historian.
They were off the Egypt.