A/N: Hello! So this chapter focuses solely on Obi-wan and Siri. And there's a shameless Moulin Rouge reference because I love that movie and Ewan Mcgregor is just awesome. Also, George Lucas married his long-time girlfriend recently, so yay! Enough rambling. Thanks to EmpressElizabeth, Guest, and TanoMonkey for reviewing. Getting nice reviews is really what motivates me to keep writing so you guys are awesome. Update time!

Chapter Nine

Forever Changed

Obi-wan walked toward his apartment. But it didn't feel like walking.

He couldn't really feel his feet striking the ground and besides the change of surroundings he couldn't even really tell he was moving forward at all.

Physically, he was in that corridor.

But his spirit was somewhere else.

Obi-wan saw Qui-Gon sometimes when he looked at Anakin.

The defiance. The loyalty. The need to do what was right instead of what was laid out before him.

When Obi-wan saw Anakin unconscious in that slave owners home he thought the boy was dead.

His friend and brother. His son was dead.

And somehow seeing that, it was as if Qui-Gon had died all over again.

A time Obi-wan had never wanted to go back to. Something he never wanted to see again.

Something he didn't want to feel.

But he couldn't go back to the Obi-wan he was before. Calm and collected. Cold.

He couldn't.

He was human again.

A human that formed attachments. It was said that a true Jedi could not form attachments.

It would destroy everything a Jedi worked for.

It would destroy the Jedi himself.

But Obi-wan was forever changed.

Loss was something he always ran away from.

The grief. The infinite sadness. But he always found himself back there. No matter what he did.

He could try to turn his feelings off like a switch that turned off a light.

The grief would always come back to him.

His apartment door slid open.

He looked ahead and saw Siri standing before him. Her blonde hair was outlined by the light of the room behind her and she almost looked like an angel.

"Is he alright?" She asked.

Obi-wan was almost too exhausted to speak.

"He will be." He looked at the ground numbly.

"Time heals all wounds. Not those of the spirit, though."

She looked at him quietly.

"I think the Anakin I knew is gone."

"I don't know if he has his innocence anymore. That slave owner took something from him. I think he took his faith."

"You don't know that. You haven't even spoken to him, have you?"

"I know Anakin. The Anakin I knew would not have given up like that. He would have fought. And he didn't."

"Obi-wan…" She began.

She walked over to him and wrapped her arms around him.

"You must have hope. Anakin will be alright. And so will you."

Obi-wan ran his fingers through Siri's hair.

Siri. I…I want to talk to you about something."

"What is it?" She murmured.

"You're going to be disappointed in me."

"No. You could never disappoint me."

He sighed. "I don't know if I should even say it."

"Just tell me."

"I love you." He said softly.

She almost laughed.

"Silly boy. I already know that."

"I want to be with you."

"You already are."

"No. Not completely. How much longer can we go on like this? Hiding and keeping secrets. I don't want to live that kind of life anymore."

"You want to leave the order."

"No. Being a Jedi is one of the most important things in my life. For a while it was the only thing. I can't give it up like that."

"But how can you live a life as a Jedi and one where we're together…openly?"

"I love you, Siri. You brought the joy back to my life. I went on for so long with no reason to live, except to serve the public and the greater good. But it isn't enough. And there's more to life than that. Anakin taught me something. And that is that the greatest thing in life is to love someone and be loved by them in return."

Siri was silent for a moment.

"I love you, Obi-wan. But the Jedi Order needs us."

"Then they will not let us go. They won't cast us out."

"What are you asking me, Obi-wan?" She looked up into his blue-green eyes.

"I want… I want to be with you. Until the end of everything. In a way that isn't defined by the trappings of lust. Or by loneliness."

She frowned. "But what we have is more than that."

"Yes. It is. But the way we're living right now isn't enough. The secret meetings. The lies. I love you. And something that wonderful shouldn't be hidden away. We deserve better than that."

"What are you saying?"

"Marry me."

She stepped back and there were a mix of emotions on her face. The slightest joy. Confusion. Shock. But also dread. They could be throwing away their entire lives to follow their hearts.

She could have said no. The old Siri would have laughed in his face. Obi-wan was always so foolish to her.

But almost losing him some months back had changed her.

"Will you be my wife?"

Her cheeks were pink and she smiled. A smile so bright that it put the stars to shame.

"Yes."

He cupped her face in his hands and pressed his lips against hers insistently.

Loss would always be a part of Obi-wan Kenobi.

And it had taken many things from him. But it gave him something too.

It gave him the inspiration to follow his dreams. Because he only had one life. And he had to live it the best way he could.