A/N: Don't own (although I'd love to have my very own Norman Reedus :D) don't sue!
Lyrics are from 'Rain' by Patty Griffin
Rain
Chapter Ten
It's hard to listen to a hard, hard heart
Beatin' close to mine
Poundin' up against the stone and steel
Walls that I won't climb
Sometimes a hurt is so deep, deep, deep
You think that you're gonna drown
Sometimes all I can do is weep, weep, weep
With all this rain fallin' down
Strange, how hard it rains now
Rows and rows of big dark clouds
When I'm holding on underneath this shroud
Rain
It's hard to know when to give up the fight
Some things you want will just never be right
It's never rained like it has tonight before
Now, I don't wanna beg you, baby
For something maybe you could never give
I'm not lookin' for the rest of your life
I just want another chance to live
Strange, how hard it rains now
Rows and rows of big dark clouds
When I'm holdin' on underneath this shroud
Rain
Cassidy was re-dressing her wounded ribs in the relative privacy of their tent when Lochie burst in, hobbling on a bit of wood T-Dog and Dale had fashioned into a makeshift walking stick for her.
"They're back." She said happily, coming to an abrupt halt when she stumbled across a half naked Cassidy.
"I'm thrilled." Cassidy muttered as she secured the fresh bandage, sounding as if she couldn't quite care less one way or the other.
"All of them. Lori too." Lochie clarified.
Cassidy reached for her bra. Pulling it on was painful but she gritted her teeth.
"I didn't notice she was gone." She said casually, shrugging into her hooded jumper.
Lochie gave her a very shrewd look. Cassidy noticed everything.
"She's pregnant." Lochie continued.
"I see." Cassidy could have cared less but Lochie's crush on Rick had clearly been affected by this development.
"You knew?"
Cassidy threw her a dark look.
"I'm not psychic."
Lochie studied her for a moment and then shrugged.
"How's the ribs?"
"Fine. How's the leg?"
She rolled her eyes, taking Cassidy's arm and lowering herself down onto her sleeping bag. Cassidy settled down cross-legged on her own sleeping bag and retrieved her rifle from its case. She spread the parts out evenly for cleaning.
"They had someone with them." Lochie muttered sleepily, struggling into her pyjamas from her awkward sitting position. "Had to chop off his leg."
Cassidy didn't comment. Another thing they'd all be arguing about. The sleeping bag rustled as Lochie tossed and turned, trying to get comfortable on her injured leg. Cassidy was very good at blocking out external distractions but even she had her limits. After a good hour she gave up.
"What's the problem?"
Lochie rolled over towards her, her hair sticking up in all directions, wrapped up in the sleeping bag like a baby. An irritable rumpled baby. There was a crease on her cheek where she'd been lying on the zip.
"Can't sleep." She said shortly, her voice slightly muffled by the layers around her chin.
"So I see." Cassidy swore as the oiled spring slipped from her fingers and bounced into the depths of the tent between them.
"I'm scared." Lochie said thoughtfully, as if she wasn't sure if that was actually true or not.
"Don't be." Cassidy said shortly, facedown in a pile of discarded clothing looking for the missing spring.
"I guess." The humour was back in Lochie's voice, even as she disappeared back into the sleeping bag. "Daryl will protect us."
Cassidy laughed. The sound was blessedly muffled amongst the clothes, as was her mutinous swearing.
"Daryl is having a breakdown at the moment." She observed as she finally clasped the tiny metal spring in her hand.
"He is pitching a major hissy fit." Lochie agreed.
"He's grieving." Cassidy sighed, struggling to disentangle herself from a stubborn pair of jeans amongst the pile of clothes.
Lochie's squeaks became a strangled choking noise as if she'd accidentally swallowed a hand grenade and she yanked the sleeping bag completely over her head. Cassidy finally managed to extricate her hand, glancing over her shoulder where, predictably, Daryl was looming looking thunderous.
"Finally decided to re-join civilisation then?" Cassidy commented cheerfully. "Well, what's left of it, anyway."
After a moment of stony silence and mutual glaring, Cassidy slid out of the tent. He stalked away immediately. She followed him back to where he had re-pitched his tent, trusting his steady footsteps in the dark. He sat down besides what was left of his small fire, glaring gloomily at it as if it were personally responsible for everything wrong with his life. There was no other seat so she sat down on the grass besides him, wrapping her arms around her knees.
"What did you do?" She finally asked when the silence had become so tense she could have bounced coins off of it.
He grunted.
"You're beating yourself up over something and it's not that kid."
He grunted again. She heard the soft scratching as he rubbed his calloused palms over his face. He mumbled something about Carol and she gathered that he'd bitten off her head and said some rather horrendous things to her. She sighed, leaning against his leg. He shifted a little and she edged over, positioning herself until he had a leg pressed against each of her shoulders. She felt his hands curling through her ponytail absently. He felt guilty but he wouldn't admit it. He felt bad about Sophia and he didn't know what to do about it. When his brother had gone missing he'd pulled out a gun, he couldn't do that now.
"Don't push them away."
He blinked down at her, a frown creasing his face in the darkness. She twisted around, leaning back against one leg and tipping her head against his knee so she could see him. His fingers were tangled in her hair. His jaw was set and his eyes were shadowed by the dying fire. She wasn't good at comfort. She'd always quashed her emotions down, dealt with them the same way she dealt with other annoyances, a necessary distraction. He had come to her for something. She studied him from beneath her lashes. The line of his stubbled jaw, the curve of his cheek and the glittering pools of his eyes. He could have been a statue, except for his hand still playing with her hair as if it was totally independent of his body. She could screw him, she mused, but she didn't think that was what he'd come to her for. She ran her finger along his jeaned thigh experimentally. His jaw clenched and he tipped his face down towards her. His face was expressionless.
"Would it help?" She murmured.
His hand tightened on her hair as he thought about it. She didn't really feel like it either but if it removed that forlorn shadow from his eyes…
She manoeuvred onto her knees, running her hands up the inside of each thigh. His hand slipped from her hair to rest on her shoulder, his thumb absently stroking her throat. He hadn't answered her. He watched the curve of her body as she moved, shifting sinuously to her feet and gliding onto his lap. His hands moved to her waist, sliding under the huge jumper in search of bare skin.
"I can distract you." She murmured into his hair, stroking her fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck. "If you want."
He seemed to be considering it, testing his body's capabilities when his chest was still complete chaos. Her hands crept into the neck of his shirt, her lips brushing against his cheek with a feather light touch. He had never experienced her being so gentle before, there was kindness and sympathy in every touch. What she couldn't express verbally she was conveying through her caresses. He felt a surge of something not quite desire but just as dangerous rushing through all of his extremities.
"We don't have to." She said quietly against his cheek.
He seriously considered it. She was straddling him after all, and he could feel that under the voluminous hoody she was quite naked. He felt weary all of a sudden. He was at a loss now that Sophia was gone and he had no purpose. All he wanted to do was be with someone who cared for him, just a little. She was looking down at him as he searched for something to say.
"Come on."
She slid down from his lap, yanking him to his feet and leading him into his tent. She pushed him down onto his bed, removing his boots for him. She punctuated each undone button on his shirt with a brief kiss on his exposed chest. He watched her slip out of her jeans and unzip the hoody, dropping them to one side. He still hadn't decided whether he wanted to or not. She crawled in besides him but made no further advances. She curled against him, warm and soft in the dark interior of the tent.
"Go to sleep, Dixon."
He rolled towards her, circling his arm around her slender waist and pulling her even closer. She tucked his head against her collarbone, her hand a comforting weight against his jawline. Had anyone told him he'd be lying like this with a beautiful girl almost half his age over a kid he hardly knew he probably would have knocked them on their ass, but it didn't feel like a sappy love scene. It felt like the comfort he had been to afraid to ask for.
Cassidy awoke to a dull ache in her ribs and Daryl's warm hand splayed between her thighs. Apparently a good night's sleep had improved his mood to no end and she grinned. Her eyes were still closed but he seemed to have sensed her return to consciousness because he leaned over her. His mouth was warm and firm against her, as were other parts of his anatomy. He'd apparently spread shed his jeans while she was still asleep.
"Is it morning?" She murmured against his lips between kisses.
"Pretty much."
She stretched luxuriously, rather hoping he'd put the hand now running over her bare waist back where she'd found it. Something had shifted between them again, she mused idly as they moved languorously amongst the sleeping bags, working slowly and sleepily. They had always come together for teasing and desire before, last night had been a step in a different direction and it had irrevocably altered whatever was between them.
It was very early, the camp was still silent as they rested breathlessly listening to the sounds of the farm coming to life in the distance. Cassidy drew her fingernail through the tiny puddle of sweat that had formed at his collarbone in the stifling heat of the tent.
"Better?" She asked lazily, tasting the sweat beading on his bare arm with the tip of her tongue.
He was about to reply, or maybe initiate round two, when a shadow darkened one wall of the tent. They froze, Daryl's hand edging towards his crossbow.
"Daryl?"
They relaxed at the sound of Carol's tentative voice and Cassidy rolled over in search of her clothes. She was zipping up the hoody as she exited the tent and Carol flushed faintly.
"I didn't mean to-"
"Don't worry about it." Cassidy flapped her hand. They stared at each other awkwardly for a moment, Daryl's muttered curses as he struggled with the zip on his jeans the only sound. "I'm sorry… about your girl." Cassidy finally said.
Carol looked at her in something like surprise.
"You didn't know my daughter." She said calmly, almost questioningly.
"No I didn't. I know how to lose someone, though." It came out a little defensively but Carol only nodded.
"Thank you."
Cassidy nodded too. They looked at each other again. She wondered vaguely what the older woman wanted from Daryl.
"OK, what's with the looks?"
Lochie jumped guiltily, burying her nose unconvincingly in the manual for the car Cassidy was trying to resurrect. Cassidy swiped the sweat from her brow and glared impatiently at Lochie. She'd been working on the car for the past few hours, Lochie seated on the grass a few feet away calling out things from the book as if they would actually help. She'd also been shooting her furtive puzzled looks once every few seconds since she'd returned from Daryl's tent that morning.
"Nothing. What looks? Huh?"
Cassidy rolled her eyes.
"You know, for a master thief, you're a terrible liar."
Lochie stuck her tongue out at her.
"I just… aren't you jealous?"
Cassidy blinked in surprise.
"About what?"
Lochie shrugged, fiddling with the corners of the manual.
"Daryl. Carol."
Cassidy snorted, shooting a glance at Carol in the distance.
"What do you think they're doing?"
Lochie glared stubbornly back at her.
"You don't share things." She pointed out as if explaining how one plus one equals two.
Cassidy sighed turning away from her friend's inquisitive grey eyes. She could explain that Carol was seeking comfort from the one person she trusted most out here, that Daryl was surprisingly good at soothing emotional wounds when he managed to keep his grumpy mouth shut, but she couldn't seem to squeeze the words out.
"So even if they were… you know-" Lochie gestured vaguely with her hands. "You wouldn't be jealous or annoyed or anything?"
Cassidy shrugged casually, ignoring the fire roiling in her belly at the thought.
"So you two are still just in it for sex. Nothing else. No pesky emotions. No hand holding in the moonlight. No swearing your undying love. No passionate embracing-" Lochie's teasing broke off when Daryl walked past her towards Cassidy. "OK, seriously, if you sneak up on girls you have to expect to overhear girly talk." She pointed out crossly to hide the colour burning in her cheeks.
Daryl looked genuinely puzzled, as if the concept of girly talk was infinitely foreign to him and probably something to be avoided at all costs. Cassidy bit back a laugh with some difficulty. He looked edgy and he didn't say a word to her. He didn't keep still either, pacing and smoking and glowering into the distance moodily. She left him to it. Working on the engine wasn't really doing anything except keeping her mind and hands occupied. The camp was still tense, things were boiling over between Shane and seemingly everybody else. Even as she thought it Shane went stomping past, Andrea running after him. She felt Daryl come to a halt besides her. Lori and Rick were arguing about something outside their tent.
"I will never understand what two perfectly good men see in that useless whining bint." Lochie said with unexpected venom.
Cassidy thoroughly agreed but she kept her mouth shut. Things were tense enough, it would only take a small spark for the whole place to burst into flames around them. Not that she cared particularly, but she didn't have the resources to get Lochie out of here with her busted leg. She was slipping. Carl bounded over with a huge grin on his face that made her laugh just looking at it.
"Hey kid, what's up?"
"My mom's pregnant." He announced proudly. "If it's a girl we're gonna call it Sophia."
"That's… something." Cassidy said with the best smile she could muster.
Personally she thought it was a little sick but he was just a kid. He clearly didn't grasp the complexities and dangers of a pregnancy and birth in today's lovely climate either.
"Will you show me some more moves?" He asked sweetly, batting his long eyelashes at her.
Now she really did laugh and he beamed at her. She struck a ridiculous kung fu pose and he mimicked it with one of his own, circling each other and glaring. After a moment Carl couldn't hold in his giggles any longer and he dropped the pose. He cocked his head, studying her carefully.
"You're going to be a good mom." He said seriously, his big blue eyes intent on hers.
Lochie, bent over with giggles, didn't know who looked more horrified, Daryl or Cassidy.
LadyLecter47 – I was actually praying that she would get eaten all week, I knew she wouldn't but it was nice to live in hope between episodes lol hope you like the update :)
undeadangel – no problem, you took the time to review so it's only fair :)
VileMalapert – thanks, it was pretty much how I figured Daryl would react, he's not the fluffy bunny feelings type really