Update: Tweaked/rewritten August 2020

Then So Be It (Part II)

Eclipse woke up screaming, the only vivid thing from her nightmare was the pink strand of hair. Something she was sure would frequently be popping up in her nightmares from now on. Her body might have just gone through a sleepless night, but her mind still felt the need to wake her up in time for the morning workout even if she no longer had to attend. She groaned loudly, threw her arms up in disgust, and flopped back down on her bed after she sat up to see what time it was.

No matter how tired she was or how her head throbbed, Eclipse could not go back to sleep. She guessed that she had gotten only about three hours at the most and that realization alone made her groan again. Her body wasn't meant to function with such a little amount of sleep and, even worse, her mind wasn't going to be as effective if it was sleep deprived. "Who cares. It doesn't matter," she muttered frustratingly to herself and swung her feet around to land soundlessly on the floor.

Eclipse spent the rest of the early morning in her room lounging around as well as taking another look at that medicine she had gotten the other day. She hadn't taken a pill yet even though she was supposed to during the past two mobile suit classes. She had spotted the captain the day after she had killed MR, but he didn't stop to speak with her. If he had indeed been the one to give her the medication, he didn't seem on top of the regime to make sure she took it.

Maybe it didn't matter.

She went down to breakfast after the other recruits left and had something light before heading off to her first class. Code breaking was once again another grueling two hours. Despite the large gap in performance between those who were catching on quickly and those not catching on at all, their instructor felt that they would be able to move onto a different subject the next day. Eclipse was surprised, assuming the classes stayed the same forever, but couldn't help but feel a bit of relief with the statement. "Of course, we'll come back to this," the instructor informed them. "These skills are important."

The computer hacking class ended the same way. The instructor felt that they were advanced enough to move onto something else. This time Eclipse found it strange. She had only started the class yesterday and they were already moving on to something else. Coordinators are just that skilled, she decided at length and just shrugged it off, making her way down to the dining hall.

Neither FS nor Stray was at lunch, but when she saw them in the firearms class, she felt a smile curl up her lips. They didn't say anything as she sat down and neither did the other three that came in after her. Each of them stayed silent until the lieutenant walked through the door, but exchanged glances when six others followed her in. They took the seats around them and Ameria started the class. Eclipse was surprised by the number of new recruits that had made it that far and only after one night.

Perhaps her superiors were getting a tad restless.

The class went by as usual. The lieutenant reviewed most of the weaponry that they had gone through previously to get the others up to speed and then took them over to the shooting range to try them out. After about an hour into the practice, Ameria called Eclipse over. The redhead set down her gun, took off the headphones and glasses, and then walked over to her. She was leaning against the only wooden desk near the range and watching the others carefully. Occasionally she would shout a few orders and corrections, but she wasn't really hands-on that day. Apparently, she wanted them to figure things out for themselves. "Yes, ma'am?"

"Ah, Lunar Eclipse, yes. I want ya to do somethin' for me." Eclipse nodded and took another step forward. The woman stepped aside and motioned for Eclipse to stand next to the desk. "Put a hand on the desk; any hand will do."

"Ma'am?"

"Do as I say, kid."

"Y-yes ma'am," Eclipse stuttered, trying to get some answers by looking into the older woman's eyes, but found nothing. She hesitated a second longer before finally placing her right hand, palm down, on the wooden surface. "What now—"

Ameria didn't give her chance to finish the statement. She pulled her pistol from its holster at her hip, cocked it, and fired all within the breath that Eclipse took to say those two words.

No one turned to regard them at first, so used to the random firing during the practice. The first one to see was Avalanche. He dropped his gun as soon as he saw Eclipse clutching her hand and nudged Despair next to him. So, it went on down the line until FS and Stray got the news and actually ran over to see what had happened.

"I told ya that someone would teach ye obedience yet, girl, and if this doesn't then ye a hopeless cause." Her voice was loud and commanding, more like she was trying to make a point to everyone and not to her in particular. "Ye are on ya way to bein' an elite soldier so it's about time that ya started actin' like one. When rules are given ya, ye are supposed to follow them. There's no such thin' as stretchin' or bendin' here so what the words say are law. Ya were lucky time. If I coulda I woulda killed ya the first time you stepped foot through my door."

Eclipse didn't catch everything, even though Ameria actually took the time to slow down and punctuate every word. The redhead was too far gone to notice. Pain. That was it. It was in her very being drowning out anything and everything that tried to penetrate it.

There was nothing but red-hot pain.

What—How—Why? Pain. Such pain. My hand. Busted. Ruined. Pain. Blood. Lots of blood. What's next—Why? Caught; I must have been caught yesterday. Out of my room late. Again. Was that it? Was that all? Slipping to her knees, she cradled her hand against her chest, her breath coming out in panicked gasps. Cold. It feels cold. My hand. My right hand. How will I—Pain. Such hot pain. Make it stop. Make the pain go away!

Eclipse wanted to scream, to cry, anything to release the hurt that was knotted in her stomach. Anything to feel some kind of release, but she'd never do it. Blinking back tears and biting her bottom lip Eclipse looked up. Ameria's expression faltered for a moment after they locked eyes, but not even the lieutenant's confidence could rip the smirk from Eclipse's lips.

No, she'd never give her the pleasure of seeing her cry.

Eclipse spent the rest of the morning in the infirmary listening to the doctor's diagnosis and instructions on how to help it heal faster and appropriately. The wound was serious by all accounts, but if Eclipse did everything that she was supposed to, she would eventually regain full function. The bullet had caused mostly tendon damage, which meant the process might be slow, but recovery was expected. The doctor warned her of possible side effects like limited endurance or frequent cramping, but Eclipse was just happy that she'd be able to use it again.

Walking back to her room, arm in a sling and a club for a hand, Eclipse ignored the whispers that erupted as she went by. It was obvious that she was the subject of their gossip, but right then she didn't care. She had been ordered to rest for the remainder of the day and she knew better than to argue.

She remained in her room through the afternoon and barely moved from her bed until a knock sounded on her door around dinner time. Opening the door, she nodded and stepped aside to let FS and Stray through.

"You okay?" Stray asked after the door had closed. He was holding her clubbed hand carefully in his hands and looking at it, trying to suss the damage.

"Okay enough. This has got to stop though," Eclipse hissed and she saw FS's head bob in agreement. Perhaps it was time they started taking the idea of leaving seriously. If they had so little regard for their recruits that they were willing to execute and maim them for disobedience, there was no reason to stay. There was only one end awaiting them.

"I figured out what we have to do," FS began and Eclipse waited impatiently for him to continue. "Clearly, this has gotten out of hand."

"I think so too. We need to—"

"I'm being moved to a different room," Stray cut in, releasing her bandaged arm and sighing. "Apparently, there's some open dorms and they're trying to give each recruit their own space."

FS made a sound like he was going to immediately argue his point, but he backed off, his eyes opening wide in what seemed like some sort of epiphany. "Ah, I see now… Probably to keep them from doing what we did." FS sighed and rubbed the back of his neck.

Eclipse paused, not really knowing what they were talking about. "Wait, what did we do?"

"Interacted. We formed a friendship. Whatever you want to call it," Stray explained. "Seems like some of the recruits and guards have been expressing concerns that we have been forming a subset, of sorts. As the training goes forward, they're afraid what might happen if the recruits form bonds and join forces. They're going to start introducing more competition into our classes, most likely, and randomize scheduling." He sighed again and shook his head. "They're jumping onto this really quickly and I think Ameria's little stunt," he pointed to her hand, "was used to send a message."

"There was a rumor going around that MR hadn't been the only one who had tried to leave. There were three others who couldn't handle the abuse they were given that night." FS sighed again and shook his head. "I didn't think the rumors were true until now."

Eclipse hung her head. What Stray had observed made a lot of sense and the thought both pissed her off and made her feel defeated at the same time. "So, what do you propose then?"

Not even FS had an idea in that moment, neither of them responding. The correct decision was becoming evident the longer they sat there and mulled over the information, but it involved moving in a direction each one of them found terrifying.

"We have to get through this thing alone. There is no 'together' anymore."

FS was the only one who had the courage to say it first. Despite his eagerness before, his rational mind trumped his emotional reaction and he was stuck facing reality like the other two. But was it too early to give up?

"No," Eclipse hissed, defying her rational mind. "We'll just be more careful next time. I was careless. I thought that—"

"Please LE. That's not the right way to handle this and you know it. Things are only going to get worse." FS reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder, but she swatted it away.

"I said no! We'll escape. Get out of here. We can do it!"

"Would you listen to yourself? Wasn't MR's sacrifice enough? Doing something like that would be suicide and I have no plans of dying in a place like this." FS's words stung and she opened her mouth to say more, but nothing came out.

"This is good-bye, LE," Stray said with a small sigh and walked closer to pull her into a hug. "But only for now. Hopefully when we all get out of here, we'll hook up again. Maybe even do things our own way."

"But for now, we have to stay away," FS continued, embracing her once Stray had released her shoulders. "Is that understood? I don't want to see either of you die." They stood in a triangle, looking at one another in both solidarity and with separate strength. Their hand was being forced, but they didn't have to cash in completely just yet. They just had to survive.

They had to make it to the end.

Eclipse wanted to speak, but her throat was too dry to make any words come out. Tears ran slowly down her cheeks and she felt firm hands on her shoulders once again. Locking eyes, they smiled and nodded.

They understood.

The guys left her room and headed for dinner in silence, walking at a different pace to begin what was going to be a hard couple of days disentangling their friendship. She muttered a few soft good-byes and promises to make it through to the end, but she found herself terribly unconvincing. A bigger part of her didn't mean it when she said good-bye, or when she said that she would make it to the end alive, because a part of her didn't think that was possible.

She walked over to her bed and sat down, looking sadly at her mangled hand. A rough road was definitely ahead and there was no end in sight, only a far-off horizon. The months ahead were going to be difficult, terribly difficult. If she wasn't harassed for her incompetence before she surely would be now. Learning to use her left hand was her only option.

For the first time in what seemed like years, Eclipse thought about her journal and reached under the bed to pick it up, wincing when her body folded over her hand. She set it on her lap and flipped through the pages, stopping at each entry momentarily. There were some from her childhood, but as she read through them, she realized how naïve she was back then. It was an innocence she both wondered if she missed and envied about her younger self. Flipping forward, she found her most recent entries and read them, but realized that the naivety still ran deep. Sighing, she turned to the next open page, walked to the desk to sit, and picked up the pen lying there. She uncapped it with her teeth and placed it in her left hand, feeling awkward, but knew she had no choice.

I know I haven't written in a couple days and for that I'm sorry. A lot has happened since my last entry. You know how MR said he had killed someone that night? Well, the next day I ended up doing the same thing, but mine wasn't just some random person.

I killed MR.

There're times I forget about the event and then there are others when the guilt and pain just consume me, and I can't breathe. I don't think I'll ever really get over it.

If things continue like they are, no one's going to be the same when they leave this place and the worst thing about it is, we have no choice. It's our life and our feelings, but none of that matters. We're tools; weapons of war. I guess I never really understood what Captain Vindur was talking about that first day until now.

What will we become in a month's time? A year?

She paused to flex her cramping hand. That short entry had already taken her nearly a half hour to write and some of it was hard to read. If she wanted to survive, she had to get better with her left hand and quick. Her mind drifted off for a few more moments as she remembered, again, the pills on her bathroom sink. That mystery was still unsolved, but perhaps that was another reason she had received such a treatment earlier.

She was defying orders.

She flexed her hand again and returned to the entry.

FS and Stray have decided that the only way we can all get through this thing alive is to go our separate ways. As much as I wanted to just yell in their faces telling them that was the wrong choice, I just couldn't. Because they're not wrong.

So, now I'm alone.

I have to stick it out by myself.

I won't cry, I'll tell you that now and I'll keep my promise. I will become stronger and make it out of here alive, no matter how much pain I feel in this moment. I promised them that I would survive, and I'm determined to keep that promise.

I will.

If things are going to be harder from now on, then so be it. Yes, I'll be a good girl, but you'd better remember this: I won't give in.

Lunar Eclipse

A/N: Well, as promised here's the second half of the chapter, and it was put up pretty quickly too! Woot! I envy the people who are able to sit down and write whole chapters, edit them, and then put them up within a day. Truly amazing if you ask me. Anyway, as I mentioned in my other note, now we're going to get into the main story. I hope you all enjoyed the training facility and pray it wasn't either too gruesome or long and boring for your tastes. As much as I wanted to make it shorter, I knew it had to be in there because it sets up the rest of the story.

Well, thanks for reading it and bearing with me. I know there are probably a few people out there that really wanted to get into the real characters so I'll just say "Thanks for hanging in there and your wait will be over very soon!"

Please review if you read it. I know this may sound a little selfish, but I really like feedback. I know that I have a few loyal reviewers out there and I can't thank them enough. I really do take all your suggestions to heart and go back to fix my grammar mistakes if you mention them. I like to now what everyone thinks because every person is different and has different tastes. If some parts were too graphic or not graphic enough, let me know. .

Thanks for reading!

Strata