A/N: Don't own (although I'd love to have my very own Norman Reedus :D) don't sue!
Lyrics are from 'Rain' by Patty Griffin
I apologise in advance for the lack of enough Daryl in this chapter. It shall be rectified if you can hold out for the next update. I also don't like fics that bang on and on about their own character so I apologise for being a hypocrite in this chapter too. That shall also be rectified. There is some Lochie/Rick though, if that eases the insult a little bit :D
Rain
Chapter Fourteen
It's hard to listen to a hard, hard heart
Beatin' close to mine
Poundin' up against the stone and steel
Walls that I won't climb
Sometimes a hurt is so deep, deep, deep
You think that you're gonna drown
Sometimes all I can do is weep, weep, weep
With all this rain fallin' down
Strange, how hard it rains now
Rows and rows of big dark clouds
When I'm holding on underneath this shroud
Rain
It's hard to know when to give up the fight
Some things you want will just never be right
It's never rained like it has tonight before
Now, I don't wanna beg you, baby
For something maybe you could never give
I'm not lookin' for the rest of your life
I just want another chance to live
Strange, how hard it rains now
Rows and rows of big dark clouds
When I'm holdin' on underneath this shroud
Rain
"Mornin', Red."
Cassidy blinked and frowned at the shadow crowding over her.
"Not yet it isn't." She mumbled, burrowing deeper into her pillow.
She felt his hand trailing lazily over her bare shoulder, nestling under her hair and squeezing the nape of her neck.
"Dawn. Time to move, girly." He breathed against her temple.
"Why?" Cassidy mumbled. "Leave me alone."
"You know why, Red."
The fog of sleep finally cleared and Cassidy stirred. The warm illusion vanished and the pillow under her head became her lumpy pack wedged into a knot of branches.
"Wow." She muttered under her breath. "That was sappy."
She brushed her wild hair off her forehead, frowning at the heat. She was pretty sure she was coming down with something, probably from sleeping up trees and under bushes for two nights. She'd headed in the opposite direction to Atlanta, zigzagging through the trees in search of something that could pass as a temporary safe haven. Nada. Not even a freaking shed. She dangled her legs on either side of the thick branch she'd used as her mattress for the night, squinting in every direction. No sign of walkers. Now she had to decide whether to go further out or closer to the highway.
"Are you going to sit up there all day? You might as well ring the dinner bell."
Cassidy almost jumped out of her skin but she managed to cling onto the trunk of the tree. How they had quite managed to sneak up on her was a mystery that made her more than a little concerned at her assessment of how ill she was. She surveyed them warily. There was a girl, about fifteen, with straggly sandy blonde hair tucked up under a camouflage hat crouching down in the bushes just below her. A short man with silver hair, who seemed to have been the one shouting up at her, glared up at her as if she was personally responsible for everything that had gone wrong in his life. A slight rustle drew her gaze and a tall slender man with a riot of blond curls tumbling over his forehead appeared.
"What're you going to do?" She taunted sharply.
The girl snorted and the silver-haired man shot her a dark look. Cassidy surveyed them. She could take the girl no problem, the short man was favouring one knee over the other, a well-placed kick would take him out of the equation. She cocked her head until she could see the blond man fully. He returned her gaze impassively. He was a little older than her, probably just about thirty, and although he was tall and lean he was also clearly strong based on the breadth of his shoulders and the well-developed muscles in his arms. He might be harder to deal with in her slightly weakened state.
"I just want to know what you're planning on doing up there." The silver haired man asked.
"Well I was sleeping." She pointed out, still trying to decide whether it was worth climbing down or not.
"I know. Joseph's been keeping an eye on you."
Joseph was apparently the rather attractive man still leaning casually against the tree trunk and peering up at her. She glared.
"Creepy much?" She snapped down at him. "What you spy on stray girls in the middle of the night for fun around here?"
"Only to make sure they're not about to murder us in our sleep."
She couldn't argue with him there but she still felt hot all over at the thought of being spied on in the dark.
"Are you going to come down? You don't look too good."
"Wow. What a smooth talker."
She rolled her eyes and weighed her options. Staying up the tree wasn't an option, eventually the walkers would arrive and she'd be a sitting duck. She did a quick mental assessment while the three of them peered up at her. She had a few scrapes from branches and a nasty bruise on her knee from where she'd fallen yesterday, she was pretty hungry but she had enough strength to defend herself if she had to. It was easier to defend against the living anyway, they still felt pain and had some sense of self preservation. She shimmied down the tree.
"Now what?" She tilted her chin defiantly and glared at the silver haired man, he was exactly the same height as her.
"You hungry?" He grunted after an interminably long pause.
She blinked, casting a suspicious look at the others.
"What's the catch?"
He scratched his whiskery chin and flicked his glance over her rifle case.
"You're gonna have to help us catch it." He said with the trace of a grin.
"And why would I do that?"
She met him eye to eye, aware of Joseph straightening up in her peripheral vision.
"You help feed us and we'll give you a more comfortable place to sleep tonight." He countered. "A bed."
She narrowed her eyes at him, looking him up and down doubtfully.
"And would I be expected to share this bed?" She asked icily.
"Only if you're offering." The girl suddenly piped up, getting to her feet and sauntering over to them. "You're not my type but I guess you're kinda hot." She assessed, her hazel eyes running over her. "For someone that old."
"Hey I'm twenty five." Cassidy protested irritably.
The girl leaned in closer to her, eyeing her closely.
"Oh. It's all the grime." She observed. "Makes you look older. I'm Cookie." She popped a bubble in her chewing gum and turned away. "No tracks around here, Doug." She kicked at the ground with the toe of her army boot. "Nothing been through here but stinking walkers."
"So?" Doug asked her impatiently.
Cassidy eyed them. They didn't seem too dangerous. Of course they could be leading her back to god knows what. She could practically hear Daryl cussing at her, calling her every variation of 'stupid' under the sun.
"Okay."
A brief flash of relief crossed Doug's face and Cassidy relaxed slightly, if they needed her this badly they probably weren't about to handcuff her in the barn. The fact that they hadn't tried to disarm her made her feel a little better too. Doug was suddenly all business, ordering Cookie to scout ahead as they made their way home for breakfast.
"Should she be running around on her own?" Cassidy observed as she fell into step behind Doug on the narrow path.
"Don't let her age, or the fact that she's a skinny little runt, fool you." Joseph commented idly from behind her. "She can track a deer through this mess for days."
"Yeah. I know someone like that." Cassidy said quietly.
"Are they a smartass pain in the ass too?"
A rock whistled over Cassidy's head and bounced off a tree an inch from Joseph's head. He laughed. It was still very early and the woods were deceptively silent. And cold. She shivered, tugging her shirt closer around her. Correction, Daryl's shirt. Oh yes she'd taken one of his shirts before she'd left. It was her favourite one too. Sleeveless, green and yellow chequered, the one she always nabbed when she spent the night in his tent. She didn't really want to admit that it still smelt of him too, oil from his crossbow and dirt and the faintest hint of blood and something slightly spicy and uniquely Daryl. It fell to well below her waist and, worn in by Daryl's well structured body, hung strangely off her slender frame.
"How would a kid know how to do all that?" Cassidy asked, watching Cookie on the path ahead of them.
"No idea." Joseph shrugged.
Well that effectively ended the conversation and Cassidy turned her attention to their surroundings, keeping track of landmarks and how many turns they made so she could find her way back.
"You live underground?" She observed doubtfully, eyeing the gaping hole in the ground with extreme distaste.
"What'd you expect, a five star hotel?" Cookie drawled, rolling her eyes at Joseph.
Cassidy did not like the idea of crawling down a dark hole with a bunch of strangers. At all. Her gut was pulsing, telling her quite clearly that this was a bad idea. A stupid idea. Cookie had unlocked the padlock on the metal door and, with surprising strength, she yanked open the door. Cassidy could sense Joseph and Doug behind her. Cookie was glaring at her impatiently.
"You guys just happened to stumble on this place?" She asked suspiciously, planting her feet in case they attacked.
"I helped build it." Doug announced flatly. "It was commissioned by some rich old coot who was paranoid about the end of the world. There're miles of tunnels that lead all over the place."
"What happened to the rich old coot?"
"Apparently he wasn't paranoid enough." Joseph supplied cheerfully, stepping around her and following Cookie into the tunnel.
"We don't have all day, lady." Doug grumbled from behind her.
Cassidy climbed into the tunnel. Joseph held out a hand to help her down and she gave him a doubtful look. He took it in good grace, shrugging it off and sauntering off down the tunnel. As they made their way through the winding tunnels, Cassidy tried to keep track of where they were heading above ground. This was a dumb idea. The atmosphere was all wrong down here, something wasn't right. But they encountered no trouble as she followed them into a large hollowed out room lined with bunks. There was no one in sight but muffled voices told her they weren't alone.
There was a small kitchenette in one corner and Doug moved around it apparently making breakfast. Joseph and Cookie sat at the small plastic table and proceeded to ignore her completely. She took stock of her surroundings. Besides the door behind her, there was a door at the opposite end of the room and another to her left. She took a wary seat at the end of the table.
"Here." Doug grunted, thrusting a plastic cup of water at her.
She sniffed it experimentally and Cookie snorted. She grabbed the cup and took a dramatic gulp, then handed it back to Cassidy. As she swallowed her mouthful two things struck her; one, Joseph was looking at her the same way her mother had been when she'd told her about how her hamster had been accidentally swallowed by the dog and two, Cookie had spat out her mouthful of water all over the table and was hurriedly scrubbing out her mouth with a cloth. Then everything went fuzzy.
Swirls of vibrant purple and shocks of poisonous green streaked across her vision. Her body felt as if it was no longer attached anymore, she was just a random hodge-podge of limbs jumbled together. Eventually she located her eyelids and she forced them open. She was in a room, more of a cell really, with no windows or doors and nothing but the bed she was lying on. She rubbed a hand across her face, feeling the sheen of sweat beneath her skin.
"You look terrible."
She froze. She knew that voice. It wasn't possible. It just wasn't possible. Slowly she cracked open an eye, peering at the figure sitting cross-legged at the end of her bed.
"I'm hallucinating." She said hoarsely.
"Naturally. How else could we be having this conversation? I'm dead, remember."
Cassidy shut her eyes, not wanting to look at her dead sister even if it was just a figment of her imagination.
"I remember." She forced herself to sit up. "So. That's it? A t-shirt and jeans? I figured robes and a glowing white light and stuff."
Callie's face twisted into an amused smirk and she rolled her eyes.
"Don't be so lame. I'm in your head stupid, you dressed me like this. You're not a robes person, little sister."
"So what's the point of this little interlude?" Cassidy sighed, still unable to look at her sitting so calmly on the bed.
"No idea." Callie said cheerfully. "Like I said, I'm a part of your brain. Must be something you need to hear."
"So is this where they're keeping me?" Cassidy asked, climbing down from the bed.
"No. You're still unconscious somewhere, this is just what your brain made up."
Cassidy circled the small room, running her hands over the walls searching for a door. Nothing.
"You left him."
She whirled around.
"You have got to be kidding me." She groaned. "I get poisoned by a bunch of psychos, fall into some sort of coma or something and I conjure up my dead sister to lecture me on my love life?"
"You're not in a coma." She replied calmly. "Just unconscious. You were drugged."
"Thanks, I figured that part out." Cassidy rolled her eyes, momentarily forgetting that she was arguing with herself and not her actual sister. "So go on, lecture away."
She sat there in silence and merely watched her. Cassidy glared back.
"Go on." She snapped.
"I don't need to." She cocked her head. "You already know everything I'd say."
"That I shouldn't have left him. Or Lochie. That I panicked, forgot I was supposed to be a mature woman and ran away? That it's been so long since somebody trusted me that I forgot how to reciprocate?" She reeled off glumly.
"All of the above. And don't forget stubborn, pigheaded, selfish, childish, inflexible, you have no people skills, you're pretty damn rude, you're a terrible friend and you're so scared of how you feel about that redneck that you'd rather throw yourself at a bunch of kidnappers than deal with it." She got up from the bed and the sight of that familiar graceful walk, almost as if she were gliding, made Cassidy's stomach clench painfully. "Don't be an idiot, little sister."
She touched her lips briefly to her forehead. When Cassidy opened her eyes her sister had vanished and Daryl was in her place. He was perched on the end of the bed, elbows on his spread knees in a position she knew so well her stomach squirmed.
"OK, so what're your words of wisdom, redneck?"
He levelled her with an icy glare.
"Yeah I know." She snapped, leaning back against the wall sulkily. "I shouldn't have trusted them."
"I was just startin' to think you're not as dumb as you look."
"Really?" She snorted. "I wish I could say likewise."
He ignored the jibe. His face was drawn and serious.
"You're my hallucination and you look worse than me."
A flicker of a smile curled the corner of his lips.
"This is how you created me." He pointed out. "This is how you want me."
She cocked her head.
"I must be hoping you're missing me." She mused. "Worried about me, maybe. Are you?"
"I can't answer that." He got to his feet in one fluid movement, crossing the small room swiftly. "If I was really here, ya know what I'd say." He murmured, one hand on either side of her head, palms flat against the wall.
"I know." She breathed.
Even in the middle of a hallucination his proximity could make her chest flutter and her fingertips tingle.
"So what are you waiting for?"
Cassidy frowned. Her lips were cold. In fact they were freezing. She couldn't move her arms either. She uttered a strangled cry.
"Calm down."
She blinked up at the face peering down at her. Joseph. She tried to lift her hand to punch him but she couldn't raise it far enough. She glanced down. She was handcuffed to a hospital bed. Both hands. She was gagged too. He removed the cold cloth from her forehead.
"You had a reaction to the drug." He informed her quietly. "You had a fever. I thought you were going to die."
She glared. He glanced around shiftily and then removed the gag.
"What the fuck are you doing?" She demanded immediately.
"You're going to be traded." He said stiffly, avoiding her gaze. "For food and ammo."
She narrowed her eyes at him. He kept shooting glances at the door, as if he expected someone to appear at any moment.
"You're joking, right?"
His tense shoulders and the disgustingly helpless look on his face told her he wasn't.
"What would anybody-" She broke off when he shot her a look, his cheeks paling slightly. "You're going to trade me to some thugs? So they can rape me whenever they please I take it."
He flinched. She fixed flinty eyes on him, glaring at him unmercifully until he finally looked up.
"How many women have you done this to?"
He fiddled with the cloth in his lap.
"It's complicated." He muttered.
The handcuffs rattled as her hands twitched. The door swung open and Cookie sauntered in with a bucket. She blinked at her impassively when she realised she was awake.
"Finally. You've been out of it for so long we were about to chuck you outside and leave you to it."
Cassidy bit her tongue to keep her retort in her mouth. Cookie looked at her narrowly and then turned away.
"Sit up." She ordered over her shoulder.
Joseph helped Cassidy scramble into a sitting position. She glowered at him but she was too weak to protest. Cookie dragged the bucket over. It was filled with water and a sponge.
"If I unlock these and you try to escape, I'll break your wrists." She said calmly and there wasn't the slightest tremor of hesitation in her voice.
Cassidy remained impassive. She was weak, the fever had been bad and she needed to recover before she tried anything. Cookie gestured at Joseph and he retrieved the handcuff keys from his pocket. His left side jeans pocket, she noted. As he unlocked the handcuffs, Cookie stripped off her shirt. It smelt quite disgusting but she watched it go with some regret.
"I want that back." She was quite impressed by how calm her voice sounded when anger was clenching her lungs like a fist.
Cookie briskly stripped her down to her underwear and Cassidy let her. The water in the bucket was frigid as Cookie washed her down and Cassidy clenched her teeth to keep silent. Instead she concentrated on figuring out a way out of here.
"You really aren't as old as I thought." Cookie commented once she'd scrubbed away the sweat, blood and grime. "Prettier than I expected."
"I'm flattered." Cassidy snapped without looking at her.
"You'll get a good price." She estimated shrewdly.
Joseph had left the room while she'd been undressed. He returned with a bundle of fabric which he handed to Cookie wordlessly.
"Put this on." She dumped the fabric into Cassidy's lap.
Cassidy held it up doubtfully. It was a white dress.
"You're kidding, right?"
"They like the virginal look." Cookie shrugged.
Cassidy got unsteadily to her feet, swaying a little as the blood rushed to her head. She frowned. She was even weaker than she'd thought. It seemed to take an interminably long time to pull the dress on. High necked, long sleeved, cinched in at the waist and fluttering in one long panel of ivory silk to her ankles. It resembled nothing so much as a wedding dress. Possibly from the 20's. She fumbled with the tiny pearl buttons down the front of her chest until Cookie grumbled something under her breath and took over. Cassidy glanced over her shoulder at Joseph. His cheeks had turned red and he looked completely nauseous.
"I guess we should do something about all this." Cookie muttered, grabbing a hank of Cassidy's wet hair and holding it up.
"Not your strong point?" Cassidy mocked.
Cookie's cool icy demeanour flickered and she was once again a fifteen year old girl being teased by someone stronger. She took a breath, took control of her emotions and dropped Cassidy's hair.
"Do something with it." She ordered Joseph. "They'll be here in two days."
As she strode down the hallway, Cassidy counted her steps. Joseph finally looked at her and she stared back. He looked away first.
"Give me a brush."
He hesitated and she rolled her eyes.
"What am I going to do? Kill you with a hairbrush?" She made it sound completely ridiculous when in fact she could kill him with a hairbrush if she wanted to, if it was one of those with a pointy handle she could kill him any number of ways.
She sat back down, running the brush through the tangles in her hair. She wasn't very good with this sort of thing, it was more Lochie's department. Tying it back would keep it out of her way though. She wound it back and tucked it into a simple chignon at the back of her head. It was one of the few beauty tips she'd actually retained from Lochie, mainly because of its usefulness since it didn't need any clips or pins. Joseph was still staring at her. That could be useful.
"Can you help me with this?" She indicated her hair.
He hesitated. She opened her eyes as wide as she could. He moved towards her. The door opened and Doug entered with a tray of food. He frowned at Joseph. Cassidy allowed the older man to handcuff her back to the bed once she'd finished her food. She was tired and her brain was working overtime, fitting pieces of the puzzle together.
Lochie winced as she checked the bandages on her leg. Her wound had been yanked around like you wouldn't believe in the scramble to get off the farm and she was rapidly running out of clean bandages. She stretched out on the dusty road, tilting her face up to the hot sun. As much as Rick was still their leader, he had no idea where he was leading them. Lochie glared as Lori passed by. She had never liked the woman and her tolerance had officially vanished after the cold shoulder she'd given to Rick. Ungrateful harpy. Rick took a few steps after her and then came to an awkward halt.
"Sit down, Sheriff." Lochie said gently.
Rick had been rather explosive lately but she had experience with bad tempered people. He cast a forlorn look after Lori but sat down nonetheless. He scrubbed his hands back through his hair and rubbed his face tiredly.
"She'll come around." Lochie offered awkwardly. "Probably."
Rick shot her a look and she grinned. He'd had only two expressions since the farm, dark anger and the complete black grief that drained the colour from his face whenever he thought about Shane. It was nice to see something different for a change, even if was exasperation.
"How's the leg?"
She shrugged, plucking at the laces on her Converse morosely.
"I'm sorry about Shane."
Rick tensed. He was leaning forwards, his forearms propped on his bent knees. She could see the muscles bunching in his back beneath his sweat stained shirt. She reached out tentatively, hesitating for a moment. He flinched when she touched his shoulder blade, as if he wasn't used to human contact anymore.
"Not about what happened, what you did and what Carl did." She clarified. "I'm sorry that your best friend is gone. I liked Shane."
"So did I." He finally murmured without looking at her.
She was slightly concerned that he might cry or something. At least he'd relaxed and was no longer acting as if her hand was scorching him.
"I don't think I've ever seen you this quiet." He observed after a moment of comfortable silence. "Are you missing Cassidy?"
"Yes. But that's not why I'm struggling to keep my trap shut." She replied equably, grabbing a nearby stick and scratching a pattern into the dusty road. "Where are we going? What are we going to do? What are we going to eat? Where are we going to sleep? Is this the right way? Why didn't you tell us about being infected? Have you got a plan? It never freaking ends." She seemed to have startled him because he was staring at her as if she might suddenly try and claw his eyes out. "I thought you might appreciate some silence for a change."
His lips twitched.
"Actually I think you're the only person I wouldn't have minded talking to." He shrugged. "You're the only one who hasn't asked me all those things and more."
"What about Daryl?" Lochie cast a glance over her shoulder at Daryl who was working on his bike further up the road.
"Not exactly a conversationalist."
She laughed, hurriedly muffling her giggles behind her hand.
"Isn't that the understatement of the year?" She snorted. "I think that's right up there with 'they'll find a cure before the infection can spread too far'."
He gave a mirthless laugh and she sighed. She'd been trying to take his mind off it. She leaned sideways slightly, nudging him with her shoulder. She was so short that she only bumped his ribs. He nudged her back after a brief pause, one side of his lips curling into a half grin. They bumped together at the same time. It was a little bit childish but at least he was almost smiling again. She pulled her legs up, crossed them and turned to face him. His profile was all angles, the stress had worn away any weight he'd managed to gain at the farm and his high sculpted cheekbones and the smooth slope of his nose were only softened by the long inky lashes and rather large sumptuous mouth momentarily lifted. She cupped her chin in her hand, propped her elbow on her knee and looked at him. Eventually he shifted and shot her a glance.
"What?"
"Just memorising what a good man looks like." She flapped off his embarrassed mutterings. "My mom said I'd never meet one. Not with the kind of boys I brought home."
He chuckled. He felt all flustered at the compliment. People had told him that before obviously but there's something about the way Lochie said it. He watched her out of the corner of his eye. Despite the heat of the sun she hadn't burnt much darker than she had already been. Her short dark hair was pulled back in a messy French braid and her grey eyes were glittering with amusement. He'd never really looked at her before. She was too young and he'd always been too preoccupied.
"Well I guess it figures it would take an apocalypse to meet one." She looked at him narrowly. "Why, Sheriff, I do believe you're blushing."
Before he could reply they were interrupted by Carl and Rick climbed to his feet with a heavy sigh, shattering the brief moment of peace. Lochie clambered back onto her feet, casting a look down the road back towards the farm. She didn't really expect to see her but she looked just the same. Nothing. When she turned back Daryl was frowning at her with an unreadable expression on his face.
Dalonega Noquisi – I know, I don't know how I'll cope!
LadyLecter47 – I didn't even know they were in it until they were killed off lol shame Lori survived, I had such high hopes :(
VileMalapert – who would ever want to leave Daryl lol
AudioRKO – lol thanks. Sure I'll take a look when I get a chance :)
SharonH – I know Carol's annoying me doing all that whining urgh. I'm afraid I've already taken a disliking to Michonne purely because she's the reason we have to put up with Andrea in the next season. I don't think I'll be able to forgive her.
eloquent dreams – lol here's your update
LittleRin26 – glad you're liking the fic so much
WhisperInTheRain – thanks a lot
arl with a K – you'd have to continue reading anyway because you love me and I'd sulk :D glad you like it