Absolution Chapter 6, an alias fanfic

AN: Music for this chapter (on repeat): Why by Annie Lennox, Shut-Up by The Black Eyed Peas, For Your Precious Love by Jerry Butler.

SIX

Jack awoke groggy, his neck killing him. Slowly he opened his eyes and realized he was looking at the legs of the coffee table.

Immediately alarmed, he tried to sit up…a wave of dizziness hitting him and a sharp pain in his chest. He looked down and saw a blue feather…slowly he pulled it from his chest. "A tranquilizer dart," He sighed placing it on the coffee table. "I should have known."

The sun was shining brightly and he knew he was going to be late for work unless he got up and got ready. Slowly he pulled himself up and looked around the room. The lamp in the corner still on… He'd really blown it. She had been here, in his living room…proclaiming to be there to give him the 'truth' he'd spent twenty-one years trying to understand…and he shut her down…not wanting to hear her excuses… his need to belittle her after all the pain she caused taking precedent.

"Damn it!" He scolded himself climbing the stairs to his room to shower and change. He should have been able to control his emotions, not let her get to him. Whatever she had wanted to say, must have been important for her to risk coming back to the US…For coming to him after he'd just shot her. 'Why had he been so stupid? Why didn't he just 'shut-up' and listen to her?'

He took off his clothes and jumped in the shower, letting the water wash over him as he thought about the events of this previous night.

*Why*

Jack heard his radio alarm clock come on and stood motionless listening to the words of Annie Lennox's song, "Why?"

They seemed to be speaking directly to him.

'How many times to do I have to try tell you,

That I'm sorry for the things I've done…

But when I start to try to tell you,

That's when you have to tell me,

'Hey, this kind of trouble's only just begun.'

I tell myself too many times,

'Why don't you ever learn to keep your big mouth shut?'

That's why it hurts so bad to hear the words

That keep on falling from your mouth…

Falling from your mouth,

Tell me why…

I may be mad.

I may be blind.

I may be viciously unkind,

But I can still read what you're thinking…'

The words could have come directly from Irina's mouth; if only he would 'shut-up' and listen. The words that fell from his mouth had been incredibly hurtful… that was evident from her response. Not the slap, but the tears. Telling her the night they spent together in Panama was out of revenge, so he could use her. Nothing could be further from the truth and he could see the message she was trying to convey to him that night with her eyes; that it meant something for her too, that it was not a manipulation… He'd actually called her a 'whore' not once, but twice…

Jack closed his eyes and sighed heavily. He grabbed the towel from the rack, wrapped it around his body, and strode across the room to shut off the radio. He couldn't listen to that song anymore.

He threw on some clothes, and headed down the stairs. He was going to have some explaining to do when he got to work, first why he was late and second, why he didn't listen to her offer some insight into her life or confront her about any of the information they currently were investigating, he certainly couldn't tell them anything about their fight about Panama.

Jack's head began to pound as he started his car. He didn't want to think anymore about last night and how foolish he'd been, or the fact that Irina could still get to him so. He backed out of the driveway and flipped on the radio, needing a distraction.

*Shut Up*

Rick Deez had just finished talking and a new song began to play… a woman's voice suddenly crooned,

"Shut-up! Just shut-up shut-up!

Shut-up! Just shut-up shut-up!

Shut it up! Just shut-up shut-up..."

'What the hell?' Jack listened to the words wondering about the karma of this morning's music and their references to last night… 'I'm just being paranoid.' Jack pressed scan on his radio and waited for it to find another station, his mind flashing back to Irina screaming for him to 'shut-up' last night; his thoughts, were interrupted by two guys named Ricco and Mambo talking about the Black Eyed Peas, and the most requested song of the week. 'Finally.' Jacked sighed pulling onto the 101 Freeway.

"Shut-up! Just shut-up shut-up!"

'Oh hell no!' Jack violently jammed the Off button on the radio. "This is a conspiracy!" He screamed out loud causing the other drivers in the traffic-jam to wonder about the crazy man screaming in his car.

"Dad!" Sydney breathed a sigh of relief when she saw Jack entering Ops, forty-five minutes late. "I was just about to call you." She, Weiss, and Vaughn met him in his office. "You are never late? What happened?"

Jack didn't have time to answer before Kendall arrived. "Where the hell have you been Jack?"

Jack was getting frustrated. "If you give me a minute, I'll explain." He sighed setting his briefcase on the desk, looking up to meet Sydney's eyes. "Your mother is alive… she was waiting for me when I got home last night."

Sydney surprised and then immediately concerned. "Mom was at the house? Dad, are you ok?" She started scanning her father's body for any sign of damage her mother might have inflicted.

"Yes… I'm fine."

"Where the hell is Derevko and why didn't you call to alert us she was there?" Kendall fumed.

"I couldn't exactly pick up the phone to call you when she was standing in front of me. You really think she would just stand there waiting for us to arrest her? This is Irina Derevko we're talking about; she came prepared! She shot me with a tranquilizer dart. I woke up on the floor this morning."

"You were lucky with the tranquilizer dart, she knocked me out with her elbow and electrocuted me with a stun gun." Sydney sighed frustrated and already upset with her mother.

"Only because she was in no condition to put up a fight."

Sydney's scorn for her mother immediately turned to concern at her father's words.

Jack saw her reaction and quickly explained. "She was pretty slow moving, still healing I presume from her injuries…and her arm was in a sling." He said softly knowing Sydney would feel guilty about that.

"How bad was it?" Her eyes were full of sadness thinking about that night and how her mother had saved her from being stabbed.

"It didn't look good from what I saw. She was wearing an external fixture with several metal pins jutting out of her hand. The rest was wrapped in bandages. She didn't sound optimistic about it, saying she'd 'never play the piano again." He didn't want to be so blunt with Sydney about the injuries Irina sustained helping her, but Sydney had constantly reminded him that she didn't want to be treated with 'kid-gloves,' so he was giving her the truth.

"Why the hell didn't you subdue her then if she was in no condition to fight?" Kendall was angry.

"I really didn't think that was a wise move. Like cornering an injured tiger…the outcome no doubt would have left me with permanent damage!"

Kendall realized he probably wouldn't have tried anything in the situation either, knowing how dangerous Irina Derevko could be. "Why was she here? What did she want?"

"She said she wanted to talk… wanted to explain."

"About what?" Sydney was always intrigued by her parents' interactions. "What did she say? Did you tell her about the file?"

"We never got to that." Jack swallowed hard.

"Well what was so important to her that she would risk everything to come back and talk to you?" Kendall was just as curious by this woman's actions.

"I don't know… we didn't get to that either."

"Then what the hell did you two talk about?"

"She started talking about Panama and wanting to save Sydney from Sloane… explaining her actions and reasons for her betrayal," Jack didn't lie, just omitted a great majority of the details. "I lost my temper. We fought. She shot me. That's it."

"That's it?" Kendall repeated skeptically, knowing there was more to this story then Jack was letting on.

"That's it." Jack repeated.

Sydney sensing the tension between her father and Kendall chose to bring up the positive side of this encounter.

"Well at least we know she's alive now. Marshall!" She called out spotting him. He immediately smiled at Sydney and joined the group. "How's it going with the disks?"

"Not well unfortunately… I've never seen anything like it. I've tried every single KGB code ever used on case files and none of them are working. Whoever designed this code is brilliant." He smiled completely impressed with the genius behind his troubles. Seeing his answer was not one they were hoping for, nor sharing his enthusiasm over the 'genius' of the code he quickly added, "I will break eventually, its just taking time." Realizing he did have something that might make them happier about the situation, "One minute!" He turned and bolted to his desk returning moments later with a manila folder. "I did the research you asked for on Anastasia Romanov. Let me just say, 'WOW!' She was gorgeous." He opened the file leafing through the pages looking for something in particular. "Your mother looks just like her…it's easy to see where you get your looks from and why you're so beautiful." He smiled handing Sydney a photo he'd printed off the Internet. Seeing Jack's reaction, "Oh… not that your not beautiful, sir… It's just that your wife or ex-wife and daughter are just so hot…t hat didn't come out right, I mean… I just meant that-"

"Marshall." Jack silenced the young babbling man before he went on telling Jack how 'beautiful' he was.

"Wow… she really does look like Mom." Sydney sighed shaking her head in disbelief.

The photo showed a very young, very beautiful Anastasia posing for an official looking portrait of some kind. Her long dark-brown hair pulled up, a crown adorning her head. Her dress, a gorgeous off the shoulder baby-blue satin, a white sash with official looking medals and seals across her front.

Jack too marveled at just how much Irina looked like the woman in the photo, and Sydney too…though not as much…she did manage to get 'some' of his looks.

Weiss whistled his sign of approval looking at the photo and earned a sharp glare from Kendall.

"This was her last official portrait before the family was murdered…It was commemorating her seventeenth birthday. And look…" Marshall said eagerly pointing to the photograph, "The earrings your mother gave you."

Anastasia was indeed wearing the earrings.

"It still doesn't disprove the theory Mom stole them." Sydney added, still trying to find some way out of the fact that her mother was royalty in anyway.

"Sydney." Vaughn admonished her, "You've got to be kidding me. She looks just like your mother. I don't want to believe it either but come on…"

"Yes, I will admit they do look very similar but I just can't wrap my brain around all this yet. Like, how is it possible my mother is her daughter if this woman was murdered in Siberia in 1918?"

"The myth might be based on reality… maybe she did escape."

"Vaughn, they found Anastasia's bones in 1998, near the area where the rest of the Romanov family's bodies were buried before they moved them to the Royal cemetery in St. Petersburg!"

"I know, it doesn't make any sense but maybe…the bones were placed there later…I mean, why didn't they find them when they found the other bodies?"

"I don't know." She sighed. "What else did you find out Marshall?"

"Well, your grandmother… I mean Anastasia… was very close to her father Tsar Nicholas, she was the youngest of the daughters. From the time she was very little, she used to write him letters when he would go away on business. She also loved photography and her father bought her a Kodak camera, it was said she would take pictures of any and everything. She was also very close with her brother Alexei, who was heir to the throne but suffered from Hemophilia, and was often too sick to leave the palace." he paused looking at the baffled faces.

"Oh, and her favorite palace was Alexander…just outside St. Petersburg. She loved all the rooms and secret passageways… especially the garden. I found quite a few photographs of her playing there when she was little." He handed Sydney another stack of printed photos. "Oh… and Syd, I did some checking on the earrings your mother gave you… I mean checked into the appraisal and all if they really are the real thing… you know… just curious to see what they might be worth… you might want to consider keeping them in a safe place." He raised his eyebrow nodding his head.

"How much?" Jack interrupted Marshall's long head bobbing session.

"Ahh… at that combined weight, plus the history involved, part of the Imperial Jewels… $12.3 million." He coughed out.

"$12.3 million dollars!" Sydney gasped.

Weiss stood transfixed on the photograph and the earrings.

"Wow…my mother never gave me any gift like that… I wish I had your mother." Seeing Jack's eye's narrow, "well not the whole KGB, terrorist, shooting you thing, part, person..."

"I've been carrying them around in my pocket… in case she tried to send another message." Reaching inside her jacket revealing the earrings she'd been keeping there.

"I wouldn't go around telling to many people that, Sydney, maybe you should put them in a safety deposit box for now." Jack warned her.

"But Dad, what if Mom tries to contact me? I can take care of myself…no one is going to get these away from me." She said adamantly, putting the earrings back in her jacket.

"Alright people, show and tell is over. Get back to work." Kendall barked and they all retreated to their designated workstations.

Jack, Sydney, and Vaughn to the conference room to continue working on decoding Irina's file…and Marshall and Weiss back to Tech. Ops to continue trying to crack the code on the disks.

"This must have been her handler." Vaughn sighed leafing through the pages with photos showing Irina meeting with a man at various places over the years, most of them hotels…just like she'd told Jack to help him with the Ariana Kane investigation. The thought of Irina meeting the man in a hotel made Jack sick.

"Yes, she told me that she used to meet with him in his hotel room."

Jack kept his eyes on the document he was decoding, not wanting to see his daughter and Vaughn's faces. Sydney and Vaughn shared a puzzling look, wondering why Irina would tell him something like that…and how Jack could seem so blasé about it. "She told me when she was helping me with the Ariana Kane investigation. It's how we figured out she was the one framing me."

Not wanting to discuss Irina's bedroom encounters any further, they all got lost in their documents.

"I wonder who this guy is?" Sydney asked showing them photos of Irina with a man who's back was turned to the camera, never giving them a full view of his face.

"I don't know, but here, on the bottom it has your mother's name and Mikhail Vontonavich October 1st 1970." Vaughn read out loud, inspecting one of the photos.

The date's significance not lost to them. October 1st was the day they met. They shared a small smile that had Jack wondering but Vaughn quickly continued.

"Whatever he is saying must be funny, she's laughing. She doesn't look very old, what fifteen in 1970? And where is this park? That bench looks familiar."

'Fifteen!' Jack's brain was screaming at her impossibly young age and the fact he was so blind to it, meeting her a year later. She certainly didn't look or act, like a sixteen year old. He picked up one of the photographs, instantly jealous of the attention Irina was giving the young man. He noticed the smile on Irina's face, the way it lit her eyes making them sparkle…the way she was touching his arm, how close they'd been sitting, face to face on the bench, "She was in love with him, or at least pretending to be." Jack announced rather calmly, surprising Sydney and Vaughn once again. They decided it best not to ask Jack how he knew that, suspecting he was probably an expert in that area of Derevko's life… love and deception. "Maybe he was her first assignment or a practice run of sorts." The sarcasm dripping with his every word, "You know, before she took the big plunge moving to America to dupe me."

"Dad…" Sydney said calmly, Jack suddenly rising from his seat, trying to control his anger.

"I need a cup of coffee." He stormed out the door.

"This has to be so insane for him." Vaughn sighed, looking at the document with the photograph. "Finding out the woman you loved, made a life with… was someone else entirely."

He paused momentarily, apprehensive to continue, " I somehow got the feeling that he wasn't telling us everything that happened last night with your mother; did you get that feeling too? Like he was holding something back. I got that feeling about their mission in Panama too, like we don't know everything that happened there either."

"Yeah," she sighed knowing Vaughn was right, her father probably keeping the truth from them as well. "I know… his answer this morning was just like the Santa Claus question when I was little...short, no details or enthusiasm in his answer… dead giveaway he was lying."

"So why didn't… you say something if you thought he was lying?" Vaughn almost shouted then used a softer tone trying to keep his voice down.

"Vaughn, my father may be a CIA agent and my mother, the terrorist he is supposed to be hunting down…but they're are still my parents! And quizzing my father on his relationship and conversations with her isn't going to do anything but build more barriers. He already thinks he has to protect me from her or any information about her. You saw his reaction to me wanting to work on this file. It's not black and white."

"I know," Vaughn took hold of her hand, frustrated at himself, knowing the turmoil Sydney was already in concerning her parents and he was just adding too it.

"I'm sorry, I know this is difficult for you."

"And for you too, we've been over this before."

Jack reappeared, three cups of coffee in hand. "Thought you might like some as well; looks to be another long night." He smiled at Sydney, trying to apologize for his outburst without actually doing so.

"Thanks." She smiled as he set the cups in front of her and Vaughn. Vaughn nodded his appreciation for the gesture and they set to work again.

Another hour or so passed and their work seemed to be going slowly…there was so much information to decode.

"I've found something." "Here it is." Vaughn and Sydney spoke at the same time.

"You go first." Vaughn prompted Sydney.

"The orders she received… to kill the CIA Officers, are here."

Jack and Sydney both felt a wave a pain for Vaughn as his face fell, taking the paper from Sydney.

"Does it say why?" he asked quietly scanning the page.

"No, not really…only that 'they' were becoming a risk and needed to be removed."

She spoke softly. "What did you find?"

Vaughn shook his head trying to clear the thoughts swimming there.

"It says your mother received her Extraction order on October 20th, 1981 for October 26th, 1981."

"But my mother didn't 'die,' until November 15th, that doesn't make any sense."

"Well, that's the thing…" Vaughn paused looking at Jack and Sydney, "It says she refused the orders."

"What?" Sydney grabbed the papers from Vaughn. "Why would she refuse to leave on the 26th but leave on the 15th instead?"

"It says she received a second set of orders on the 13th…can you think of anything in that time frame that would explain why your mother would refuse to leave on the 26th?"

"No… but I was really little and I don't remember much from that time frame." She said quietly looking at her father, the one responsible for the lapse in memories ala Project Christmas.

"I can't think of any reason she would either. I was out of town on a mission at the time. Maybe it just wasn't convenient for her." Jack still felt horrible for what he'd done to Sydney.

"I found something too. Your Mother was telling us the truth about being a prisoner in Kashmir. It says here that she was charged with being a suspected traitor and taken to the prison in Kashmir on November 27th, 1981 for unrestricted interrogation." Jack gulped now knowing why Irina had wanted to escape.

"Just days after she left us?"

While they were having a funeral and mourning her mother's death, Irina was being carted off to prison. "Does it say anything about how long she was kept there? Or any record of her time there… Does it say she escaped? She told us that is how she knew the sewer tunnels and landmine locations, so she could escape."

"It doesn't give details. It does say that on May 27th, 1982 she tried to escape with another prisoner. He made it, though is presumed dead as he was badly injured in the escape… Irina was caught and put in solitary for ten months."

"Ten months…" Sydney felt her heart strings tug, the daughter part of her wanted to say 'damn right, its what you deserve for leaving us,' but the agent part her knew what hell it must have been for her mother to spend ten months in solitary confinement.

Jack too had to admire Irina, at least for that… to survive that long and not lose your mind… well maybe she had lost it, he thought to himself, thinking about her life and the things she'd done.

It was also the first time he realized… he and Irina had been in solitary confinement at the same time… both suspected of betraying their countries, though he still wasn't clear as to why they thought she was. He was ready to kill himself after only two months in there… he had no idea how she made it ten.

"Does it say anything else?" Sydney's question brought him back from his thoughts.

Scanning the decoded information… he read, "It says following her time in solitary she spent another three months in 'reconditioning,' whatever the hell that means, and was released June 17th, 1983."

"Nineteen months total." Vaughn calculated the time Irina had been imprisoned. "No wonder she is psychotic,'" he said quietly, "after nineteen months of unrestricted torture." He wasn't sure he wouldn't be either.

Jack's mouth felt dry, agreeing with Vaughn assessment of Irina's mentality and the possible reasons for it.

"Does it say why they suspected her of being a traitor?" Vaughn asked the question they had all been curious about.

Jack scanned the page once again. "Refusal to comply with given orders on more then one occasion. Hiding physical evidence that would suggest her loyalties had changed in favor of the target and enemy country."

Jack's mind was reeling, trying to figure out what kind of orders Irina Derevko would refuse to, and what evidence she didn't provide them. "There's nothing else on the page about it."

"The man… she tried to escape with. Does it give his name?" Sydney asked, curious about the man who'd made it out when her mother hadn't. Jack hadn't thought about it but searched the document once again…

"Well this is interesting… it's the man from the photo in the park. Mikhail Vontonavich."

"This guy?" Sydney frantically searched the pile of photographs until she found one of the few, this mystery man was in. She focused intently on the photograph trying to make out anything that might be a clue as to who, this man was, and what he really meant to her mother…and how they ended up in prison together almost twelve years after this photo had been taken.

There was paper lying between them, wrapping paper Sydney concluded… must have been his birthday or something… that was it. He looked like any other guy from the back. Short brown hair, kind of thin, tall she could see even though he was sitting, his head at least two inches above her mother. He wore jeans, a dark blue dress shirt, the sleeves rolled to the elbows, a watch, a large silver ring on his right hand ring finger, and a brown leather jacket, lay draped across the back of the bench. Nothing that would scream 'clue!' "Probably just some guy she met in the KGB and dated and by freak coincidence, ran into him again in prison." Sydney sighed in frustration, getting nowhere. "Right, like anything with Mom is ever just a coincidence."

"Why don't we call it a day?" Jack sighed; frustrated, still mulling over the information they learned about Irina's life, 'The Never Ending Story.' "It's late and I want to go home."

The uncharacteristic move prompted Vaughn and Sydney to stop and take notice.

"Ok." Sydney gave in, packing up her papers and handing them to her father. "Goodnight, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Goodnight." He smiled.

"Dad, do you think Mom will come back to the house?" Sydney asked her father nervously.

"After what I said to her last night…I doubt it. Unless it's to kill me." Jack grabbed his stuff and quickly exited, "Goodnight."

"See… something else did happen last night that he's not talking about." Vaughn stood there watching Jack breeze through the Ops Center.

"Now I'm worried about him." Sydney turned away from the door to Vaughn, "What if she does come back to kill him?"

"Syd, your Dad is a big boy and as it was pointed out to me when I was worried your mother would try to kill you when she turned herself in… after she shot you… if Irina Derevko wants you dead…there is no question. She would have killed you in Barcelona or Taipei, and she would have killed your father last night if she wanted to…"

"Comforting. Thanks, Vaughn for pointing that out." Sydney replied sarcastically, then apologized quickly… not intending to take her frustrations about her mother on him. "I'm sorry… It's late and I don't want to think about this for the rest of the night, do you think you could occupy me." She gave him a devilish grin.

"Oh, I could think of a few ways." He opened the door, letting her leave first, whispering in her ear as they left.

"But I don't think it would be wise to discuss them here."

"Your place or mine?" She asked quickly.

"Yours."

With that they both rushed out the door.

Jack opened the door to the dark house, stepped inside and paused in the darkness…for the first time in a long time, he flipped the switch and the light came on. He smiled thinking back to Irina's comment about never 'learning' to turn on the lights.

It started when they were married, he'd come home late from work and not want to wake her by turning on the lights, so he'd cruise around the house in the dark. On more then one occasion, he'd scare the wits out of her by running into something, knocking it over. She'd yelled at him more then once, to turn on the lights and stop scaring her to death.

He dropped his briefcase on the sofa and looked to the chair where she sat just last night. He hated to admit it, but he wished she was there again…this time he'd hear her out, at least he'd like to believe he would. He undid his tie and shirt buttons as always and walked to the liquor cabinet.

He'd never drank vodka until he met 'Laura,' he'd quickly become a fan of both. She only drank Smirnoff and looking at the bottle in front of him now, it made more sense. Not only was it one the best vodkas, the bottle said it was the vodka of the 'Imperial House of Russia… until 1917', when the Royal family lost control of their country. Why had he never noticed that before? He still couldn't contemplate Irina belonging to that Royal family. What a ridiculous notion!

Sighing, he poured himself a glass and walked to a table near the wall, adorned with numerous photos of Sydney at various ages and even one of the entire 'family,' one he'd never bothered taking down once Sydney learned the truth. He carefully removed the photos and white linen covering the top and placed them aside.

Gently, he lifted the lid to a wave of memories. He glanced over the old records and found the one he was looking for, placed it on the turntable, and lifted the needle.

*For Your Precious Love*

Grabbing a photo album also tucked away inside, he walked to the chair Irina had occupied the night before and closed his eyes as the first notes of an old song he knew well filled the house.

It had been playing on the jukebox, at the restaurant in Georgetown, the night he proposed. He used to dance to this song, "For Your Precious Love," with his 'wife' late at night, on many occasions…mostly to just enjoy the closeness they shared from dancing. The last time he listened to this song was the night Laura died; he put it away for good when he found out it was all a lie.

Seeing the photos of their life together in Irina's KGB file had brought back a flood of memories he tried to forget about. The words of the song seemed to mock him now, taking on an entirely different meaning…

'Your precious love means more to me

Then any love could ever be

For when I wanted you

I was so lonely and so blue

So that's what love will do

And darling,

I was so surprised

When I first realized

That you were fooling me…'

Jack took a long sip of the vodka, preparing himself…wanting to be numb for what he was about to do. He slowly opened the album containing the photos of 'their' life.