AN: Music for this chapter (on repeat): All I Want is You by U2, and Cosmic Love by Florence and The Machine
NINE
o
-Los Angeles, CA-
Jack had just finished putting the rest of the files into his briefcase after another exhausting day of going over Irina's files and looking for Sloane.
They had finished early and were all welcoming the weekend. He was just closing the clasp when he saw Sydney approaching with a smile.
Their relationship had ease to it now; more relaxed and far less tense after their talk the other night and he felt bold in taking the next step forward.
"I was just coming to talk to you." He smiled warily with nervousness. "I was going to ask if you… and Vaughn, would like to have dinner with me tonight?"
Sydney was more then a little surprised her father would want to include Vaughn, taking the first step forward in accepting their relationship. "Really?"
"Yes, I thought maybe we could get some take-out delivered to the house…talk about something other then work." Knowing that all of them needed a break and this was his chance to get to know his daughter and her 'boyfriend' outside work.
As much as he hated to admit it, Irina's 'motherly' intuition he mocked, concerning Sydney and Vaughn's unrequited relationship all those months ago on that cargo plane to India, was right on.
There was more there then either of them were willing to admit to then, 'hell' he hadn't been able to see it… but Irina could and he hated it. She'd only been around Sydney for a couple of months and was able to read their daughter better then he was.
"Ok… I'll ask Vaughn." She smiled brightly, kissing Jack on the cheek to his surprise. "Thank you."
Vaughn had accepted, finding appreciation in the gesture Jack had made towards his relationship with Sydney. They had decided to follow Jack straight from work to the house, having a packed bag of comfortable clothes always ready in the car.
"Vaughn, stop fidgeting." Sydney admonished laughing as she watched the man shifting uncomfortably in the driver's seat as they followed Jack to the house. "You're really nervous." Her gaze softened feeling sorry for him.
"At work, I can handle Jack Bristow… but Jack Bristow the father outside the office kind of freaks me out. I know how protective he is of you."
"Yes, but he's getting better and he did invite us over… so he's trying." Sydney's gaze fell outside to her childhood home as they pulled into the drive next to her father. "Here we are."
"So this is where you grew up. It's beautiful… I never would have pictured this." His gaze falling onto the big house, beautiful even at night.
"Why?" Sydney asked curiously.
"I just never would have pictured a house so storybook perfect when I thought about where it all took place…" His eyes softened looking at Sydney.
"You mean where my mother deceived us?"
Vaughn knew it was an implied question and nodded.
Jack had stopped on the sidewalk, waiting for them to get out of their car.
"We should go." They climbed out of the car and joined Jack.
Jack unlocked the door and ushered them into the dark house. "So what were you thinking about food? Chinese, Italian… maybe Thai?" He asked them in the darkness.
"How about Russian?" Came an unfamiliar voice behind them.
Jack immediately flipped on the light switch.
A beautiful woman sat with her legs crossed in the chair in the living room. Her dark hair and eyes so familiar yet distant, the hint of Russian in her voice... left little doubt as to who she was.
Jack, Sydney and Vaughn remained frozen.
"Hello Jack," She remained sitting; a slight smile as she acknowledged him. "We finally meet. I know this must confuse you as I wasn't exactly invited to the wedding, but allow me to introduce myself, my name is Katya."
"You're my mother's sister." Sydney turned her icy glare to the woman, wondering why she was there…and not her mother.
"Yes." Katya was surprised they knew of her existence. "And you must be my darling niece Sydney…" She could see the fire in Sydney's eyes. "Rina was right. You are more beautiful in person than any photograph could do you justice." She smiled seeing Sydney's reaction to the mention of her mother. "And you," she turned her sights to Vaughn, "must be Michael Vaughn, a pleasure to meet you. Please come sit, I don't bite."
Vaughn was slightly startled this woman knew who he was and looked to Jack, wondering what to do.
Katya once again motioned for them to sit on the couch.
Jack remained where he was, "What do you want?"
Katya could see that her sister wasn't the only stubborn one. "I don't want anything from you. I am here on behalf of my sister…to take care of some matters for her, involving you."
"Where is Irina and why isn't she here? Why would she send you?" Jack was immediately agitated Irina would send her sister to do her dirty work and annoyed she wasn't there so he could talk to her.
"Because she asked nicely." Katya smiled, stalling for time as she thought of how to answer the question. "My sister is 'indisposed' at the moment… I am running things now."
Concern immediately flooded Jack and Sydney's minds, "Indisposed? What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Jack asked venomously.
"Just what I said, 'indisposed.' That's all you need to know." Katya was getting unnerved with all the questions.
"Is she ok?" Sydney was concerned her mother's injuries were somehow more serious then thought, and maybe she wasn't doing well again.
Katya saw the true concern and could see the love behind it and couldn't help but feel for her niece. "Yes… Sweetie, she's ok. She just needs time to herself right now… time to heal." She added quickly, not wanting to raise too many questions as to why Irina needed time to herself. "Please, sit down and I'll explain why I am here."
Sydney was a little stunned by the 'Sweetie' comment from her aunt but grateful that her mother was ok. She made the bold move, feeling somehow she could trust this woman a little, and moved to sit on the couch… Jack and Vaughn followed nervously.
"What do you mean Irina's healing?" Jack asked trying to mask his concern with a stern tone.
Katya, however, could see through it. "You surprise me with your concern for my sister, Jack. Especially after being the one to cause the 'damage." She cocked her head to one side trying to gauge his reaction.
Jack remained silent, staring intently at the woman who reminded him of Irina.
"Well… part of the damage anyway." Katya lightened up on the man, seeing she had struck a nerve. "But to answer your question…her wounds were serious and she needs more time to heal. And I am running things obviously, because she is in no condition to protect herself at the moment."
"Then why would she risk coming to the US like she did if she was in no condition to protect herself." Jack was upset for many reasons.
"She didn't come here, come to 'you!' To pick a fight!" Katya's intense stare made the three uncomfortable and Jack once again had to swallow the lump rising in his throat at Katya's reference to the fact that Irina had 'come to him' not looking for a fight. Katya was hit with a sudden urge to protect and defend her sister. "She came to talk to you… but things have changed now. Look, I didn't come here to fight with you either." She reached over the arm of the chair and pulled a file from the black leather case they now realized was there. She pulled some papers from the file and handed them to Sydney. "This is for you, she wants you to have it."
*All I Want Is You*
Sydney took the papers and scanned them, trying to understand what they were all about. She recognized the legal paper work as a transfer of funds from Irina to Sydney though a Swiss bank account. "I don't want my mother's mafia money." She shoved the papers back at Katya, refusing to read the rest, angry with her mother for the gesture. It wasn't her mother's money that she wanted…
"It's not money from the organization. All of that gets funneled back into Russia through charity organizations and such for the people. This money is family money. Your mother set up a trust fund for you almost twenty years ago after she reacquired our family's funds, this is part that money." Katya shoved the paper across the coffee table back at Sydney.
"What do you mean reacquired?" Vaughn spoke for the first time since they'd arrived, all of them having an idea but wanting it confirmed.
"I assume that because you know of me, you know who I am. Who Irina is?"
"You're Romanovs." Vaughn swallowed uncomfortably under the woman's stare.
"Yes… our grandfather was Nicholas… our mother Anya, was his youngest daughter Anastasia and the only survivor of the massacre, making her the sole inheritor of the family fortune and would-be heir to the throne. But of course, at that time, the fact that she survived could not be revealed and she had to go into hiding. The Romanov' money and power were stolen by the new government who'd killed our family. Irina used her organization to regain the power our family lost and to find our family's inheritance, covertly of course… only a few key people knowing who she really is. Through her organization she was able to regain control over the Russian government and use the funds that were obtained illegally, to help our people by giving it back through charity with food programs and hospitals, clinics, schools, scholarships, etc. The point being Sydney, this is your money as the daughter of the 'heir apparent' to the throne of Russia. She wants you to have it… to be happy and safe…to make the most of your life."
Sydney picked up the file and looked at it once again and noticed for the first time the amount. "Oh my God…" she gasped quietly, "I can't accept this much money."
"$150 million!" Vaughn practically shouted seeing the amount.
"Sydney, accept it." Katya looked at Jack, "Don't be stubborn like your parents."
Jack sat motionless in the chair at the other end of the room.
"This isn't your inheritance of course, that will come later…I'm sure you know that money doesn't make you happy, you have to do that for yourself…but it does make life more comfortable so enjoy it. And Jack," She reached into the file once again handing him a document. "This is your freedom. Sign on the line and your marriage to Rina will be over, like it never happened, with the exception of Sydney of course." Katya once again sat back to watch the interaction and reactions of the three in the room.
Jack looked helplessly at the annulment papers in his hand. His thumb brushing over Irina's signature…signed just four days ago.
"You're still married to Mom?" Sydney couldn't believe it. Her father had never said anything. "How is that possible?"
"Technicalities." Jack sighed thinking back to the day Irina reminded him they might still be married. He'd never actually pursued any action even after that conversation.
"Is that all?" Katya quirked her eyebrow at him in the same way Irina and Sydney did. She could see the hesitation on Jack's part. "No rush…" she replied smoothly, "Just drop, them at your lawyers when you've signed them." She once again reached into the file. "This is also for you. She said to think of it as 'compensation." She handed Jack the papers. They were legal money transactions similar to the ones given to Sydney. "Irina told me how you'd always wanted to buy a boat and sail through Sydney Harbor…now you can."
Jack's eyes immediately darted up to meet Katya's. Sailing thru Sydney Harbor and along the Gold Coast had always been 'their' dream…since the very first trip he and Irina made there together the year they got engaged. It was where Sydney's name came from. He couldn't understand Irina's actions here. "I don't want Irina's money! I don't want any 'compensation'…" Jack angrily threw the papers on the table, "I want to talk to her! Tell her, I want to talk to her!"
"Jack, that's not possible." Katya leaned back into the chair shaking her head.
"Hell if it's not possible! She was just here of few weeks ago!" Jack stood and started pacing in front of the group.
"Things are different now." Katya remembered the look on Irina's face the night she left this very same house.
"Just tell her that I want to talk to her."
"But she doesn't want to talk to you or see you ever again!" Katya rose furiously out of the chair, causing alarm to the rest of the group, as they didn't know what to expect with her outrage. "It's all about you, you, you, you! You don't have any idea what she went through for you, what she's sacrificed, or anyone else, do you? I'm so sick of it being all about you! Jack, you weren't the only one who had your life destroyed by Irina's mission." The battle was raging inside her, trying to keep her emotions in control and not burst into tears.
"I know…" Jack's hard gaze softened.
Katya was startled by Jack's admission, unsure if he 'really' understood. "What do you mean, 'you know?' If you did, I highly doubt you would have treated my sister like you did the other night, even with everything she's done to you!"
"I didn't know then." Jack gulped, at the realization Katya knew how he'd acted towards Irina.
"I know now. We've seen her file… we've seen the film. I know what she did for us, and what that cost her." Jack sighed and sat on the arm of the chair. "What that cost you… your mother. I know you must despise me for that."
"You know about my mother?" Katya relaxed, her tone softening as well. She looked from Jack to the couch where Sydney and Vaughn were still sitting, Sydney will fresh tears in her eyes.
"Yes." Sydney choked out. "We know she was executed because my mother refused to leave us, refused to kill my father."
Katya sank back into the chair, her body suddenly seeming very heavy. She took a deep breath, trying to keep her emotions together before she began again. "Yes, I did despise you." Her eyes met Jack's "And I despised my sister for years." Katya looked at her hands ashamed for her actions and feelings towards her sister, now. Hands in her lap, she began rubbing the back of one hand with the other's thumb; a trait that seemed to belong to the Derevko women when they were upset.
Jack wasn't surprised to hear she despised him but her use of the past tense did, meaning she didn't despise him anymore? He remained silent seeing that she had more to say and curious about Irina's sister's reaction to the 'mission.'
Sydney had always been interested in the interaction between her parents and seeing her father interact with her mother's sister, was just about as interesting.
"I'm not a spy… I've never been into anything like that." She stood from her seat and began pacing the floor as Jack had done earlier. "I was fifteen years old when Irina left for the U.S. Until that point, we had been inseparable. Our lives had been so guarded and restricted because of 'who' we were. I understood her need to have independence and get out, because I'd wanted the same thing." She paused, unsure why she was telling them this. Maybe because she felt they could empathize with her better then anyone and she needed to get this off her chest. "I was hurt and angry when she left, not because of what she was doing, but because I missed her terribly. Ten years later she was supposed to return, and I was ecstatic…but she refused. She didn't want to 'come home.' I couldn't understand her and then when they killed our mother…I didn't want to. As far as I was concerned…she was a traitor." Katya whirled around to face Jack. Staring intently into his eyes. "She'd fallen in love with the enemy."
Jack could feel the pressure his conscience was squeezing into his heart. No matter what Irina did in the situation, there was no way to 'not' hurt someone and in the end everyone came out feeling betrayed… 'Especially Irina.' He thought.
"By choosing you, I thought she had betrayed us all; our family, our country…everyone…but especially me. I was jealous and spiteful and didn't care what happened to her." She turned once again from Jack's gaze, too ashamed to make eye contact with anything but the floor. "I'd heard they'd taken her to a KGB prison when she finally did return…but at that time, I didn't care. Time went by and I would hear stories from people with KGB connections about what was happening to her…" Katya's eyes began to glisten with the tears forming there. She looked up to see Sydney's eyes looked much the same. "I started thinking about everything and the fact that even my mother could forgive her in her final moments, understanding why Irina didn't want to leave. From the very first film she sent back, our mother could see it… see that Irina had fallen in love with you." Her gaze went back to Jack. "And it terrified her. I used to hear her talking to my father about it late at night… How worried she was for my sister and the effect it would have on her someday leaving… terrified the KGB would find out and what they would do to her. Her concern only worsening after Sydney was born even though she was thrilled to have a grandchild, even one she could only see through photos and film."
"My mother used to send you photos?" Sydney asked through a crackly voice and tears. Amazed at how much she hadn't known.
"Yes… Rina used to send us photos and films of her life with you," her gaze shifting between Sydney and Jack, "a couple of times a year. At the time, I didn't want to think about it…what my parents had been concerned about. Looking back, I began to realize what an impossible situation it was for my sister and I was ashamed of myself. Even after I heard of Irina's release…I was too ashamed, too proud to find her and tell her I didn't blame her; that I forgave her. I'd hear about things she was doing or had done through our various connections, trying to keep tabs on her and I knew she'd been keeping tabs on me, taking care of me, but we never saw each other or spoke… that all changed a couple of months ago. I would do anything for my sister…anything to make her happy and keep her safe. Which is why I am here tonight." She blinked back the tears and once again reached inside her black case, handing Sydney a disk.
"What is this?" Sydney took the black disk and turned it over, looking for a clue as to what is was.
"This is everything Irina knows about Rambaldi and also a list of contacts she's worked with who might be able to give you information. Also, everything she has on Gerard Cuvee and this man named Sloane is on there as well. Hopefully, it will help you."
"Why is she giving us this?" Vaughn asked confused as to why Irina Derevko was once again helping them.
"She wants to help you. That's it… that's all." Katya smiled and reached over picking up her bag.
"Wait! You're leaving!" Sydney rose off the couch quickly, panicked. "I have questions about my mother…I need to talk to her, to see her!"
"It's too risky… for both of you. She doesn't want to be in another situation where you have to face off against each other again."
"So what does that mean?" Sydney's heart started racing at the thought. "That I'll never see her again?"
"She will always love you. Never doubt that Sydney." Katya answered quietly, true sadness in her eyes as she looked at her distraught niece.
"What? I don't understand!" Tears began to trickle down Sydney's cheek again.
"This is Irina's 'goodbye,' isn't it?" Jack swallowed hard, realization finally hitting him. "We're never going to see or speak to her again, are we?"
Katya's empathetic look and silence spoke volumes.
"No!" Sydney breathed defiantly. "She can't. Not now…not when we finally know the truth."
"I wish it didn't have to be this way." Katya turned her gaze away from Sydney, remembering the same pained expression on Irina's face when she told her of this plan.
"It doesn't." Jack's own heart began to race at the thought of never seeing Irina again and having his final words to her, be as they were.
"Jack, for your sakes'… for my sister's sake… I wish you would have heard her out when she was here, given her a second chance."
Jack felt Sydney and Vaughn's eyes on him.
"You are hurt and angry with her, and you can't get passed that…that much she told me. I wish with my whole heart… I really do, that things were different. But they're not. You still work for the CIA and she is still a wanted fugitive here. She doesn't blame you… honestly, she doesn't. She accepts how you feel about her. She wants you to be happy."
Jack was finding it hard to breathe. He had Irina believing he'd hated her, used her for betraying him; that she was nothing but a whore… And she'd accepted it as the truth. 'Nothing, at this point, could be further from the truth.' She still had the power to infuriate him and he hated her for that. It was always a love/hate relationship with them. He wasn't going to let her do this…breeze back into their lives and wreck havoc again, stir up all these feelings and then vanish again. "And you think we're just going to accept this, let you leave here?" Jack felt the anger rising inside him.
"Irina told me you wouldn't be reasonable." Katya stepped back from the chair and nodded. Three men in black suits who'd been waiting on stand-bye, rushed into the room from all directions; each aiming a gun at someone different.
"I should have expected this… you are related to Irina." Jack seethed looking at Katya and the men with the guns. The men fired simultaneously at Jack, Sydney and Vaughn. The tranquilizer darts sending a wave of nausea through them all…these were potent.
Vaughn and Sydney fell back on the couch and Jack into the chair…all of them fighting to stay awake.
"It was a pleasure, finally meeting you. And I really do, wish it could have been under different circumstances." She walked towards the door and their droopy eyes followed her. "Oh…and Mr. Vaughn… you really do look just like your father. He was just as handsome." She smiled.
Vaughn's eyes remained fixed on the woman slowly turning into a blur. "You knew my father?" He slurred out surprised.
There was no answer, only the black sleep of his unconscious.
-Undisclosed Location-
*Cosmic Love*
Irina had fallen into a comfortable rhythm in her new surroundings, though her mind was with the ones she loved on the other side of the world. Breaking all contact with them, again, was something she never thought she was going to have to survive once more.
With tears in her eyes, she shifted her weight in the hammock chair, leaning back and resting her good arm on top of her belly. Her hand caressing the kicking baby within, reminding her she wasn't alone. She had hoped in time she would be able to tell them the truth and somehow, it would all be ok…that she would regain Sydney's love…and Jack's. But the truth didn't matter. She had been foolish to think it would. Foolish to think any explanation she gave could erase the hatred they felt for her and heal the wounds she had caused.
The baby had been doing well and the rest over the last month had given her time to 'catch up.' She was likely to remain a little smaller then average until her birth, but the doctors were far less concerned now and gave Irina the 'go-ahead' on getting out and moving around more if she felt up to it. She spent the days walking on the beach and relaxing in the sun, reading… One of the things she loved the most and rarely had time for in the last few years.
It was the night that brought the loneliness. She fell asleep countless times looking at old photographs and home movies. She kept copies of them in all of her houses, something to make them feel more like 'home.' She had been to the doctor twice since Katya had left, once for the baby and once for her hand and chest. Because she was still 'High-Risk,' they had continued to due sonograms every visit. This last visit was the first 4D sonogram she'd ever had and seeing the baby in such great detail brought forth a wave of emotion. She and Jack's features were easily recognizable on their sweet baby's face. She'd made copies of them all and framed one, putting it next to her photograph of Sydney on her nightstand, and put the others on the fridge…something she thought 'normal' parents would do.
It brought a smile to her face every time she opened the fridge to get more mango, remembering Jack's concern that Sydney would be born orange, from the copious amounts of mangoes she was consuming while pregnant.
Irina smiled, watching her tanned belly bounce with every fierce kick of the baby. "I suppose I should get up and feed you," she sighed, moving to get out the chair and finding it difficult with her expanding belly and the use of only one arm. "Don't tell your aunt, but I can't wait until she returns and I can have her wait on me. Then we'd never have to leave this chair."
"I heard that." Katya smiled at the far end of the veranda, holding a bowl of freshly cut mangoes. "And I'm already ahead of you on the mangoes, so stay put."
"You're back." Irina smiled settling back against the chair. "And you read my mind." She took the bowl of fruit Katya handed her. "Thank you."
"I figured you'd be hungry this time of day." Katya smiled settling into the chair next to Irina; exhausted from the last couple of weeks events. After her time the US, she had headed back to Russia to take care of some things before returning to Irina. "Wow, I can't believe how big you've gotten in two weeks time. Is that possible?" She marveled Irina's exposed belly.
"I know; its crazy isn't it?" Irina glanced from side to side, admiring the new girth of her abdomen. "All she needed was for me to slow down, I guess. Did you see the new pictures?" She beamed proudly taking another bite of her delicious fruit.
"Yes, cute as hell. I can't believe how detailed it is. She's so darn cute… must take after me." She laughed.
"If that's the case then I'm really in trouble." Irina smiled back.
"Oh yes, because we know I'm the one who's so much trouble." Katya laughed. "Speaking of trouble, what did they say about your hand?" She glanced over and looked at the mess of metal still protruding from Irina's hand.
"Well, they're going to take some of the pins out in a couple of weeks so that's good. He thinks I am going to need at least two more surgeries to repair the tendons and ligaments and at least one more to attempt to repair the nerve damage. It's a wait and see thing." She sighed, a small smile grazing her lips as she looked at her nervous sister.
"And your checkup? How's your chest wound healing?" Katya kept prodding; concerned Irina might be leaving something out.
"Good. No strenuous activity until the tear in the artery has had more time to heal, but that I already knew. Not like I could anyway, being pregnant." She took one last bite of fruit and set the bowl off to the side. "Besides, I am kind of enjoying this lounging around on the beach thing."
"Yes, I can see. Nice tan." Katya smiled at her sister's new dark complexion. "So that's what you've been up to since I left…lounging all day on the beach." She joked with Irina; glad her sister was actually listening to the doctors and slowing down.
"No. Not all day." Irina laughed. "I did manage to go shopping some." Seeing the stern look Katya was giving her she added, "Before you lecture me, I was given the 'ok' to move around more and get out. I had to get some different clothes, mine were too hot for the weather here and getting a little too snug."
"Ah huh." Katya nodded, "So who cut your mangoes for you?" She asked seriously causing Irina to laugh.
"Plenty of good looking men around here volunteered." Irina raised her eyes suggestively causing Katya to laugh.
"Yeah, I noticed."
"Well, I can do it now. Without wearing the sling all the time but the first week, I asked Lourdes, the sweet little lady next door who comes to clean…if she wouldn't mind cutting some up for me. She happily obliged. She's really sweet and I think; she likes 'taking care of me.' Her daughter moved to the US last year with her grandchildren and she misses them terribly. She checks on me at least once a day." Irina's smile faded.
"She thinks I'm this helpless, damaged, pregnant woman whose husband and daughter died in an accident."
"You told her your husband died?" Katya was surprised. "And Sydney?"
"Well Jack might as well be dead as far as I'm concerned. He's no longer apart of my life." Her fingers grazing the scar the bullet left, stretching across her expanding belly. "And I had to say the same for Sydney… Lourdes had seen the pictures of her when she was cleaning. Besides, people ask less questions when you're the grieving widow and they leave me alone."
"Speaking of your 'not so dead' husband and daughter," Katya began slowly, knowing this wasn't going to go well, "They didn't take it so well."
"They were upset. I expected that…at least from Sydney anyway." Irina sighed, moving to stand.
Katya saw her struggle and gave her a hand to steady herself. Irina walked to the railing and looked out at the beautiful ocean, enjoying the light breeze on her face.
"She's hurt… I understand. But as Jack pointed out to me once, she spent the better part of her life without me, believing I was dead… she will get used to the idea of life without me again." Irina couldn't stop the ache in her heart for her daughter, but remembering this was better for Sydney...safer for her, without Irina bringing more trouble into her life.
"I don't know if that's possible, Rina," Katya was unsure of how to approach this new information, "They know the truth."
Irina whirled around, fire in her eyes. "You told them about the baby?" She was furious her sister had betrayed her trust.
"No!" Katya rose from her chair and placed her hand reassuringly on her sister's arm. "I would never betray your trust like that. They don't know about the baby."
Irina breathed a sigh of relief, feeling guilty she jumped to conclusions but still confused about 'the truth.' "Then what 'truth' are you talking about?"
"The 'truth,' Rina." She stared intently into her sister's dark eyes, hoping she would see what that meant. "All of it. They just found your 'real' KGB file… and the films from Kashmir… the film of Mama's execution… They know everything."
Tears immediately springing to Irina's eyes, "Oh God no!" She turned away from Katya, once again staring out into the endless sea. Her mind suddenly racing with horrible images from prison, horrified at the thought Jack, and especially Sydney, had seen them. "What did they say?" She choked out. Afraid to look Katya in the eye… afraid she'd see the horror there.
"Well they were upset obviously… Jack said he knows now, what you did for them… what that cost you… He wants to talk to you… to see you-"
Irina interrupted, "That's impossible now."
"I told them that. But, Rina," She placed her hand over her sister's, wanting her to look at her, "Why is that impossible? They know the truth now… isn't that what you wanted?"
"Yes… but no! I wanted them to know the truth but I never intended them to find out or see what happened in Kashmir… Jack must be furious at me…finding out about the baby I lost that way. God, he must hate me more then ever now…seeing I'm nothing but a weak dirty whore… I could never face them again." Tears rolling down her cheeks, trying desperately to keep from sobbing.
"Rina, that wasn't your fault… you didn't do anything wrong! You were trying to protect them and you're not weak…you're not a whore! How could you say that? Where is this coming from?" Katya was getting angry at the thought and tears welling in her eyes as well. She couldn't believe her strong, beautiful sister thought so little of her self.
"It's true, Katya, I was weak… I lost our baby, I let them ravage me…I gave up and let them win. In the end I gave myself to Cuvee again and again just so I could get out of there. I am what they say... a whore." She wiped the tears from her eyes, still refusing to look at Katya.
"No!" Katya shouted, grabbing Irina by the arms forcing her to look at her, "You're not! You are the strongest person I know. You did what you had to. You survived…you didn't let them beat you." She was crying too and pulled Irina into her, hugging her close to her body as possible. Irina gave in and wrapped her arms around her sister, needing the closeness just as badly.
"I love you." Katya kissed the side of Irina's cheek, wet with tear trails. "So much," and continued holding onto her.
"Thank you." Irina whispered into Katya's ear. "And I love you, too... forever and always."