A/N: Don't own (although I'd love to have my very own Norman Reedus :D) don't sue!

Lyrics are from 'Rain' by Patty Griffin

Totally forgot about Beth! But you know she might as well be a stick of furniture for all the personality they've given her.

Rain

Chapter Twenty Three

It's hard to listen to a hard, hard heart
Beatin' close to mine
Poundin' up against the stone and steel
Walls that I won't climb
Sometimes a hurt is so deep, deep, deep
You think that you're gonna drown
Sometimes all I can do is weep, weep, weep
With all this rain fallin' down
Strange, how hard it rains now
Rows and rows of big dark clouds
When I'm holding on underneath this shroud
Rain
It's hard to know when to give up the fight
Some things you want will just never be right
It's never rained like it has tonight before
Now, I don't wanna beg you, baby
For something maybe you could never give
I'm not lookin' for the rest of your life
I just want another chance to live
Strange, how hard it rains now
Rows and rows of big dark clouds
When I'm holdin' on underneath this shroud
Rain

The dreams didn't wake her, but they did make her reach out for the warmth of another human body. It was the empty bed sheets that woke her. She struggled to surface from her dream, climbing back to reality out of the murky depths of her mind. Forcing her eyes open she felt a brief flicker of panic. The boards were still secure on the window and the dresser was still blocking the doorway. She scanned the room. Daryl's crossbow and his jacket were gone, it must be his turn on watch. He hadn't been gone long either because there was a lingering warmth clinging to his side of the bed. Cassidy rolled over into the warm patch, nuzzling against the slightly indented pillow and inhaling the tangy musky scent he'd left behind. The whole place was eerily silent, only the occasional creak as someone changed positions and the odd muffled snore echoed through the thin walls. She felt almost safe, listening to Daryl's measured pacing above her.

Her heart was still thundering in her chest from her dreams, sweat sticking her hair to her neck. She felt undone by these dreams, struggling to stay afloat. Cassidy took a long deep breath. She was strong and adaptable, but no one could clamp down their emotions indefinitely. She was more used to fearing for her life on a daily basis than others but being aware of the danger from your high risk job and the whole world being out to eat you alive were two very different things. So she let go. She lay curled up in a tight ball as all the fears and worries and shock from the last few months whipped around her head. She didn't cry but she trembled frantically, her muscles coiling into iron bands of tension until she thought they might snap. Flashes fired past the backs of her eyelids, sensations and left over shock surging through her chest. She didn't know how long she lay there but when she returned to her senses she felt a little lighter, as if she'd been cleansed somehow. Her stomach was roiling and her head ached but she felt less chaotic. Feeling slightly satisfied with herself, she gathered up the remnants of her fears and calmly replaced them back into the box buried deep in the recesses of her mind. She was exhausted and even the dark prospect of her dreams returning couldn't keep her awake.

It must have been a few hours later when a presence in her room woke her. She was about to reach for her knife when she realised that the boards on the window were being systematically removed rather than scrabbled at by dead hands. She heard Rick's voice speaking in an undertone and Daryl's grunting reply, then the boards were replaced and the room was dark again. She heard the slight pause in his step when he realised she'd switched sides but he didn't read anything into it. A soft reverent click as his crossbow was placed carefully to one side. Slight rustling as he peeled off his clothes. Then finally the bed dipped and he was there in front of her. He shivered slightly as the now cold sheets touched his bare skin. She could see the glimmer of light reflecting off his open eyes.

"Bad dreams?" He murmured.

"No!" She denied in a vehement hiss.

He didn't answer and she could feel him looking at her steadily. They weren't really nightmares, not in the classical sense. They were something though, threads of horror sticking to her brain. She could still feel that terrible noxious fear clawing her throat, thick cloying dread paralysing her limbs. It wasn't the dark nature of her dreams that scared her, it was the glimmer of understanding that was starting to pierce through. It was starting to comprehend how her sister had spent those agonizing hours. What she had suffered that night, what she had lived through for months afterwards. Those brief moments in that tiny room with Joseph feverish and crazy strong, she had not had time to feel fear. But her sister had. She had had nothing but her fear and her horror and her pain as she was brutalized, not even allowed to slip into unconsciousness. Her dreams were haunting her because they'd shoved her towards an understanding she'd been running from for years.

"I don't want to talk about it." She said in a not completely steady murmur. "It's nothing. It'll pass."

He merely watched her in contemplative silence. She felt warmth swell under her ribcage, bittersweet gratitude that he knew her well enough to keep silent when she needed it. Beneath the affection was a ripple of unease, a terrible fear that she might lose him to one of those monsters. She slid closer towards him, wrapping her arms around his neck. She felt his surprise at the unusual display of affection, but he enveloped her tightly against him nonetheless. His skin was cool from the night air but reassuringly familiar. His distinctive scent swirling around her, the familiar planes of his skin marred by tiny scars she knew even in the dark. Still feeling vulnerable and raw from earlier, she clung tightly to him in a way she never had before. She felt like a bundle of raw exposed nerves, desperate to feel safe, protected and loved. He felt spots of warm tears against his chest and he frowned. Ever since she'd spent those weeks as a prisoner she'd been different. Still strong and resilient and just as capable as ever of handing his ass to him if it came to it, but there was something fragile and breakable lurking just beneath the surface. And he didn't think she knew how to repair it.

It was only when she woke up that Cassidy realised she'd managed to make it a few hours without dreaming. She felt better, rested and calmer. Daryl was sleeping besides her, his head tilted towards hers on the pillow even as his body angled away from her on the narrow bed. His arm was stretched out along the base of her pillow under her neck. She rolled onto her front, tracing her fingernail along the veins pulsing gently under the bronzed skin. His fingers twitched. She pressed her lips against the inside of his wrist, brushing tiny delicate kisses along the length of his arm and into the crook of his elbow. Nipping her teeth teasingly on the sensitive skin of his inner arm until she reached his shoulder. His eyes were open when she peeped at him mockingly, sinking her teeth into the muscled swell of his shoulder. He grunted and she grinned. She felt his arm coiling around her neck, his hand gripping a handful of her hair lightly.

"What time is it?" He asked hoarsely, using his free hand to scrub his eyes sleepily.

"Early. Just before sunrise I'd guess." She rubbed her finger over the bite marks she'd left in his shoulder. "I could have been a walker."

He ignored her, dropping his arm back onto the bed. She nudged his open palm with her nose, darting out her tongue to trace the lines criss-crossed there. She could taste sweat and metal and nicotine and her throat tingled pleasantly as she flicked her tongue over each of his fingertips.

"Dreaming again?"

She shook her head without looking at him, busy nibbling at the wide pad of his thumb.

"Glenn woke me when he switched watches with Rick." She eyed him out of the corner of her eye. "That would give us a good hour or two before anyone else disturbs us. Wouldn't it?"

His fingers twitched as she hit a particularly sensitive spot. He reached over with his free hand, sliding it up under the t-shirt she was wearing. He massaged each little knob of her spine, eventually lifting her shirt and pressing his lips against the small of her back. She shivered as his stubble scratched pleasantly against her bare skin. It always amazed her how deliciously slow he could move at times like this. Every inch of his personality and public persona was impatient, brusque and hasty but in private, and given the opportunity, he could torture her for hours until every inch of her body was alive and jumping in anticipation. He rolled her over. As she smoothed the reddened skin of her bite mark with gentle lips and tongue, he hovered his palm over her bare navel, not touching her but close enough to drag his skin against the invisibly fine hairs there. Her stomach pulsed with desire, her skin quivering at the imagined contact.

They both froze at the sounds of movement reverberating through the thin walls. They could hear voices, sleepy murmuring voices as their group came to life. For a moment they stared at each other, burning each other up hungrily, wondering if they could make it before someone barrelled through the door. Eventually Daryl rolled back over onto his back, scrubbing his hands over his face and muttering irritably as Lochie burst into the room. She skidded to a halt, gaping quite openly at the naked Daryl Dixon glaring at her as though he could will a bolt of lightening to use her head as target practice.

"Ooops. Sorry." She giggled, not moving an inch as Daryl, looking distinctly pink in the cheek area, tugged on his jeans and boots.

Cassidy watched with some amusement as he grabbed a shirt and bolted out of the window. Lochie crossed over to the window and leaned out. After a moment she pulled her head back in and leant against the window frame, emitting a low whistle of appreciation.

"I am impressed." She eyed Cassidy's red cheeks with a smirk. "Clearly I interrupted. Sorry."

"No you're not." Cassidy laughed as she shoved back the sheets and climbed out of bed.

"No I'm not." Lochie agreed cheerfully. "If I'm not getting any I don't see why anybody else should."

She turned puce as Rick appeared in the adjoining doorway, yawning widely and blinking bleary-eyed at them.

"Go back to bed Sheriff. You're not going to do us much good if you can hardly put one foot in front of the other." Cassidy advised, burying herself back under the covers as if neither of them were standing there.

Lori and Carl weren't in their room, the boards covering the doors had been taken down and Lori had clearly hustled Carl out quickly. Rick returned to his room reluctantly, torn between his desire to be out there organizing and his body's need for sleep.

"Go away, Lochie. And close those curtains on your way." Cassidy snapped from beneath the sheets.

Lochie grumblingly obeyed, suddenly finding herself on the other side of a closed with Rick. Alone. Quite alone. They stood in awkward silence for a long moment. Lochie looked anywhere but at the man standing across from her, his hair all tousled and the muscles of his bare chest quite evident in the small room. She muttered something about finding breakfast and backed up towards the door, still staring fixedly at a suspicious looking stain on the wall behind his head. Not looking where she was going she caught her foot in something and tripped. Letting out a stifled cry of surprise, she half twisted as she flew backwards into the wall with a painful smack. Pain blazed through her cheek and stars burst in front of her eyes. She must have blacked out for a few seconds because the next thing she knew she was in a heap on the floor with Rick squatting in front of her. His brow was furrowed and his eyes were dark with concern.

"Lochie?" She whimpered as he touched her bruised cheek gently, sending new waves of pain shooting through her face. "Can I look?"

She shrugged although somehow that hurt her face too. Focusing on the blazing pain slowly fading to a dull throb was safer than noting how close he was, or the way his fingers were sending pleasurable tingles through her body as he gently brushed her hair behind her ears so he could see her face clearly. His frown deepened as he lightly prodded and caressed, assessing the damage.

"That bad, huh?"

He gave her a small half-smile but she could tell from how tender she was that it would bruise up pretty badly. She shifted around, trying to get back on her feet, realising that she'd tripped on a bundle of blankets and a pillow. She stared at them in confusion.

"What's with-" She broke off abruptly as she caught sight of Rick's neatly folded shirt in the corner. "She's making you sleep on the floor?" She demanded shrilly, wincing as pain shot through her cheek again. "That demented old hag! When you're out there at all hours of the day and night trying to keep us alive and all she does is a bit of old laundry now and then?! That bitch!"

Rick looked momentarily taken aback but when she struggled to her feet in a fit of anger, he hurriedly grabbed her before she could throw open the door and chase after Lori.

"It's okay, I didn't want to disturb them after my watch."

"Don't you lie to me, Rick Grimes." Lochie whirled on him furiously. "Especially not for her."

Lochie looked as if she were quite capable of going on in this vein for a good while longer but she'd gotten up too fast, the blood already rushing up to her bruised face was swirling around her head and she swayed dangerously. Rick caught her arm and pushed her lightly towards the bed. She sat on the edge, dangling her head between her shaky knees until the faintness passed.

"I think I'm going back to bed. It's been one hell of a shit morning and we're only half an hour in."

"You're going to be fine." Rick replied automatically, his eyes straying to her rapidly swelling cheek before he could stop himself.

"Well yeah." She lifted a hand to brush the damp from her cheeks, cursing as even that stung.

Rick brushed her hand away. He was kneeling in front of her again, the sagging old bed brought them to same height. Lochie felt her heart stutter then start pulsing frantically against her ribs. She must have tilted her head because his concerned gaze dipped down to her pursed lips. Lochie didn't dare move a millimetre, her pounding pulse was throbbing all over her body. His eyes were fixed intently on her, his bare chest illuminated by the sunlight seeping through the cracks between the boards. She had forced herself to stay away from him, to stop thinking about him as anything but their leader and someone to be trusted completely, but it was so hard to stick to her decision when images from the rooftop kept flashing through her brain. As if he could read her mind the muscles in his body tightened and the hairs on his chest lifted. She realised she'd reached out towards his shoulder without noticing. He reached up, cupping her swollen cheek so lightly it could hardly be classed as a touch, and then his mouth was on hers. He was always so staid and serious that she'd almost come to the conclusion she'd imagined the blazing passion he'd shown on the rooftop but she felt it spring to life as he came alive against her, like tiny forks of lightening rippling along her skin.

She leaned in towards him and he used his free hand to steady them, leaning it against the bed. It emitted a loud shriek and slid a few inches across the threadbare carpet, dislodging Lochie with a hard thump onto the floor. Slightly dazed by the sudden change to her equilibrium, Lochie peered at him shyly as he regained his feet.

"The wicked witch of the west is on her way back inside." Rick glanced over his shoulder at Cassidy standing in the adjoining doorway. "Personally I think you should carry on, she's running out of new things to complain about just lately."

Rick frowned, ready to jump to his wife's defence but Cassidy had already closed the door on them. When he turned back around Lochie wouldn't look at him. She got shakily to her feet, muttered something about talking to Hershel about her face and bolted.

"Where are you going?" Daryl growled dangerously.

"We still need food. We can't live here for the rest of our lives."

"No shit." She glared at him and he glared right back. "Why you heading into the trees?"

Cassidy squinted up at him, towering over her looking thunderous.

"Because walking down this road isn't getting us anywhere. I'm going to cut through the trees and see what I can find."

"Or get lost and starve to death." He snarled.

Cassidy gave him a look, still struggling with the laces on her boots.

"What makes you think there's somethin' out that way?"

She dug a hand into her pocket and tossed the folded up map at him.

"There's a clearing a few miles into the trees. A restaurant according to the map."

He scowled, glaring fiercely at the map and scratching his stubbled chin broodingly.

"You can come if you like." She offered slyly, quite enjoying the way his cheeks flushed angrily.

He didn't bother replying but when she set off away from the motel, he followed her in moody silence. He remained stubbornly silent as they made their way carefully through the trees, following the overgrown pathway marked on the map. They met no walkers, even when they reached the restaurant and they glanced at each other suspiciously. Even all the way out here there should have been a couple of people hanging around a restaurant. They approached the back door since it was closer to the tree line, creeping past a few abandoned dilapidated old trucks. When they slipped into the kitchen the overpowering stench of rotting bodies hit them like a slap in the face. What was left of a mutilated body was sprawled between the greasy cooker and the refrigerator, left wide open until the food had spoiled, adding to the smell. They moved past the body, scanning for any signs of walkers. They found a few more sets of remains scattered around the tiny dining area before making their way back to the kitchen.

"I have a really bad feeling." Cassidy shuddered, glancing over her shoulder nervously.

Daryl grunted but didn't reply as they searched the cupboards for salvageable food. They found a few tins they could take and some packets which would make unappetising meals but were better than burnt squirrel again. On their way out they discovered an overgrown vegetable patch. Most of it was rotted away but there were some potatoes, onions and some ugly red things neither of them could name, Cassidy managed to extricate from the ground in a relatively edible condition. As they were making their way back into the trees, Daryl froze. Cassidy dropped the bag of food and yanked out her knife, sharp eyes scanning the surrounding shadows.

"What's up?" She finally asked when he continued to stand there like a statue, glaring into the distance.

"Feet." He cocked his head. "They're making almost as much noise as you do."

She rolled her eyes but the hair was up on the back of her neck. She'd known something was going on out here.

"Coming this way?" She murmured calmly, the surprise being overtaken by her instincts.

"No." He leaned forwards slightly as if struggling to catch something, though she still couldn't hear a single thing. "Away."

"Near the motel?" She asked in alarm.

"Not yet." He shook his head and they looked at each other.

"What should we do?" She looked at him expectantly and he blinked in surprise, unused to people looking to him for answers.

"A group that big…" He cursed and chewed angrily on his lower lip. "I'll follow them, find out what they're after."

"Not on your own you won't." She disagreed firmly.

He looked ready to argue some more but she jutted her chin stubbornly. It didn't take them long to find the feet, after a few minutes Cassidy could hear them too. Daryl was right, they weren't bothering to keep quiet at all. They were arguing loudly about what to do with themselves. For a while there was the chance that they would be heading in the opposite direction but then a rather ratty looking skinny guy piped up about the motel and the possibility of survivors hiding out there hoarding all kinds of things. Cassidy's heart sank as she looked at Daryl's frowning profile. There were eight men altogether, not one of them looking like the kind of men you wanted to run into in a dark alley. Daryl tapped her arm and jerked his head and they slid away back into the trees.

Cassidy slung the food bag she'd hidden behind a tree back over her shoulder and they made their hasty way back towards the motel. Despite Daryl's reassurances that they were going in the opposite direction, Cassidy's heart was pounding heavily until they reached the motel and found it exactly as they'd left it. Carol went into ecstasies over their haul but Daryl snapped at her to round everybody up. She stared at him in surprise, glanced at Cassidy's drawn expression and scuttled off immediately.

It took a while but finally everyone had been rounded up besides the dank pool, huddled together on the dirty sun-loungers exchanging worried looks. They told them what they'd seen and the probability that those men were on their way right now. Beth looked ashen and Carol started trembling. Lochie, who was one of the bravest scrappiest people Cassidy had ever met, looked ready to keel over.

"What do we do?" She asked rather shakily, looking automatically at Cassidy and then at Rick.

Rick looked at Daryl, who looked at Cassidy. None of them said anything but Cassidy knew they were all thinking of Shane.

"Okay. First, everyone except the three of us needs to be out of sight. Carol and Beth should take Carl and stay away." Rick said thoughtfully, scrubbing his chin as he concentrated.

"Why?" Lori demanded immediately.

"Because we want to create the impression that we could cause them trouble if we need to, that we're not worth the effort it would take to bother us." Cassidy managed to get out between gritted teeth. "A child and people who look like they might keel over at the first sight of a gun kind of ruin that effect. No offence." She added for Carol and Beth's benefit.

"Everybody else needs to be spread out, we're going to have to open up the rooms we sealed. We need," He cut across Lori before she could get her oar in. "To make them think there're more of us than there are. Daryl and I will meet them and see if we can get rid of them politely. If it comes to it the rest of you need to look spread out as if you're a fraction of our group not all of it."

Cassidy left them to argue it out, grabbing Lochie's arm and yanking her away from the crowd.

"What're you-" She protested in surprise, trying to disengage her arm.

"I want you to go with Carl into the trees until this is over." Cassidy ordered.

"Excuse me? Why?"

"Look at you, Lochie. You're exactly the kind of prize those kind of men want."

Lochie winced, her sore face a riot of purple and black bruises already.

"I don't need-"

The two of them turned as Daryl hailed them irritably. Cassidy returned to his side and they were deep in discussion by the time Lochie realised Rick was walking towards her. Before she could bolt, he was standing right in front of her with the familiar worried frown puckering his forehead.

"Are you going to force me to run away too?" She snapped.

"No." He levelled a powerful gaze on her that made her want to squirm. "I was going to ask you to protect my son."

She flinched backwards a little.

"I… okay."

Far from looking relieved Rick looked more worried than ever as he nodded, hesitated for a moment and then went in search of Lori and Carl.

"I wanna say somethin' you won't like an' I don't want you to argue about it." Daryl said firmly.

"That sounds unlikely but I'm listening." Cassidy grinned.

"When they get here, ya goin' to stay out of sight."

She stiffened suspiciously.

"Oh. Am I?"

He was staring fixedly at her, his eyes bluer than she'd ever seen them. Instead of looking grumpy and impatient like usual, he looked serious.

"If the shit hits the fan, you're more useful-"

"Hey I can kill a man with my bare hands in three seconds flat, thank you very much." She cut him off peevishly.

"An' you can drop half of them with that rifle before they get anywhere near us. If ya need to."

She snapped her mouth closed with an audible click and squinted at him suspiciously.

"Really? You want me on sniper detail? Because this smacks an awful lot of trying to keep me safe."

He jutted his chin defiantly. They glowered at each other for an interminably long time, then Cassidy completely stunned him.

"Okay."

He goggled at her in amazement. They'd never agreed on anything without a blazing argument beforehand, which was usually then resolved horizontally.

"Okay. But only so I can keep your dumb ass alive, redneck." He flattened his lips to hide a smirk or a frown, but unable to prevent narrowing his eyes at her. "I mean it. I'm sort of… fond of you, Dixon. It'd be a shame to have to mount your pretty head on my wall before it eats someone alive."

She could have sworn he was rolling his eyes as he stalked away, muttering irritably to himself.

JDMlvr1 – thanks I'm glad you liked it, here's your update

LadyLecter47 – trust me if she isn't dead by that point, once that kid comes out of her she's going to get a decent thrashing

JTellersOldLady – I know but making him wait is just too much fun :D

Katara Melody Cullen – thanks very much :)

deadorworse – here's your update I hope you enjoy it

sdwafford – thanks I do try my best to keep it realistic, I don't really like fics where people just take the characters and do what they want with them even when it's totally out of character. Hope you like the update