AN: Music for this Chapter (on repeat): I Surrender by Celine Dion, All Water by Perfume Genius, Clair de Lune by Claude DeBussy, What a Wonderful World by Louis Armstrong, Goodbyes By Celine Dion
ELEVEN
o
"That's impossible." Vaughn grabbed the photo from Sydney's hand; all color leaving his face the moment he saw his own reflection staring back, holding a very beautiful, very young, Irina Derevko in his arms. His mind once again going into denial mode at the implications this suggested. "It can't be him. It's just impossible." He shoved the photo back at Sydney angrily and began pacing the floor.
"Vaughn, he looks just like you." Sydney passed the photo to Jack, who took a seat on the bed next to her.
"No! It's impossible Sydney. That photo was taken in Russia on October 1st, 1970…this man died escaping a KGB prison camp…my father" He stumbled to find his words, "She killed my father!" His voice starting to waiver with his anger and the emotions he was desperately trying to control. His reaction bringing tears to Sydney's eyes at seeing Vaughn so upset, knowing what 'this' felt like.
"Vaughn…looks aside…think about it. Mikhail Vontonavich… Michael Vaughn," She stood going to his side, "Vaughn, it's practically the same. And my mother's reaction to you…saving your life."
He turned away from her but she grabbed his arm, refusing to let him go. "Vaughn please… think about it. I know it doesn't all make sense but it explains Katya's comment…Vaughn, she said you looked just like your father… How else would she know that unless she knew him?"
Jack looked helplessly at the photo in his hand, feeling once again as though his world was blowing up in front of him. He didn't know how many more 'revelations' into Irina's life he could take without having a heart attack. "Vaughn, I met your father for the first time in December of 1970 at Langley when we had a special training session. The man I met that day…" Jack swallowed looking up to meet Vaughn's eyes. "Is the same man in this photograph."
"No. It can't be him… My father was murdered by, 'your' mother, when I was eight years old. I've seen the records, I went to his funeral!" Vaughn pulled away from Sydney.
"And I went to my mother's!" She shouted back.
"What is that supposed to mean?!"
"Vaughn, if the KGB could fake my mother's death… they could've faked your father's."
"You're suggesting my father was KGB… a double agent? That's ridiculous."
"It's possible…"
"No! He was not a traitor. My father was an honorable man. A good husband… a loving father… he would do anything for us."
"And my mother was a good wife and loving mother who 'did do everything for us'… but she was still a spy for the KGB. Think about it… there was never really any explanation given as to 'why' my mother would kill your father other then the fact she was KGB and he was CIA."
Vaughn felt the tears brimming in his eyes, resignation finally setting in. "But the orders to kill him are in her file." He sighed and sat heavily in the chair next to the bed.
"Actually, the file said she was to 'remove him' as he was becoming a risk. Vaughn, it's possible removing him actually meant faking his death for extraction." Sydney kneeled in front of him, holding his hands in hers.
"But they identified his body with the dental records." He was exhausting ever possible way out of this reality.
"Which can easily be switched…and would explain why the body was damaged beyond recognition…it wasn't him." Jack sighed, handing the photo back to Vaughn.
"The last mission he went on, the one where he was killed…he kept telling me before hand that he didn't want to go…didn't want to leave me… But if this is all true…he just left us. It was all a lie." The tears overflowing onto Vaughn's cheeks as he looked at the photo of his father with Irina.
"I know what you're going through right now. Finding out who my mother really was…devastated me, you know that," Sydney cried, wiping the tears falling from Vaughn's eyes instead of her own. "I'd put her on this pedestal my whole life, idolizing everything about her and when I found out she was KGB…I assumed the worst about her…that she never loved me and didn't care about leaving us, but, Vaughn," She tilted his chin up to look into her eyes, "I was wrong… She loved us and left only because she had to in order to save our lives. I'm sure your father loved you just as much and he meant what he said on that last mission…that he didn't want to leave you. I'm sure that's why he gave you his watch before he left, so you'd remember how much he loved you."
"The watch." Vaughn looked intently at the photograph, recognizing it instantly clutched in his father's hand…wrapping paper lying across Irina's lap. "She gave it to him." He gasped at the realization. He pulled the shirt up on his arm and began removing the watch that had been residing there.
"I thought it didn't work anymore?" Sydney asked, watching Vaughn's frenzied removal of the device.
"It doesn't. I wear it on Ops for good luck. Sydney…remember what I told you… that this watch stopped working the day I met you…"
"October 1st…" Sydney began realizing where he was going with this.
"Yes… and your mother gave this watch to my father on October 1st…"
"Ok… that's a little freaky but I don't get it." Weiss finally spoke.
"You don't think its odd that a watch my mother gave his father on October 1st suddenly stops working on the exact same day Vaughn and I meet?" Sydney took the watch from Vaughn, inspecting it and seeing nothing unusual.
"Yeah, like a said freaky… but I still don't get where you're going with this."
"Let me see it." Jack asked waving his hand in a come hither motion for Sydney to give him the watch. "Did you ever take it in… try and have the battery replaced?" He inspected the watch.
"No… it's a wind-up and I just figured it was dead."
"Well there's a slot to open it in the back." Jack tried to open it but failed, as his fingernails weren't long enough to grab hold of the tiny rim.
"Let me try." Sydney took the watch and with one try, opened it. "There's an engraving inside…" She looked Vaughn in the eye, "It's written in Cyrillic."
"What does it say?"
"Be still my heart when true love finds you. With Love, Irina- October 1st, 1970"
"He said I could set my heart by this watch." Vaughn squeezed Sydney's hand. "So I guess it's true…my father was most likely a double agent for the KGB."
"And if that's true… my mother didn't kill your father." Sydney began seeing a little ray of hope in all this madness. Her mother may not be responsible for the death of Vaughn's father after all.
"And he died escaping prison instead." Vaughn sighed sadly.
Staring out the window of the transport plane taking them back to Los Angeles, Jack's mind once again raced with images of Irina and yet another one of her great escapes. Secretly, he was thrilled she hadn't been captured by the Delta team; knowing now she was pregnant, hoping she was all right wherever she fled to. He reached into his vest and pulled out the sonogram photos that had been on the fridge and the letter from the box. Staring at the baby he couldn't help but smile.
One night together in over twenty years, and they managed to make another baby, the thought of getting Irina pregnant that night, never crossing his mind. Not that they were too old, they were only fifty…well he was fifty, she was only forty-seven as they learned from her file…but it'd been twenty-seven years since Sydney was born and most people didn't have babies at this age. 'Most people.' He chuckled at the thought. He and Irina were anything but like 'most people.' Why should they start trying to be now? He glanced over his shoulder to see Vaughn staring out the window, deep in thought no doubt, after the revelation of his father tonight, and Sydney staring at the letter her mother had written, just like she had been for the past four hours. He looked back at the letter in his own hand. His thumb brushed over his name written so beautifully on the front. Just as nervous as Sydney had been, he hesitantly turned it over and lifted the flap, sliding the letter out.
Taking a deep breath, he unfolded the paper and began reading to himself.
'My Dearest Jack,
I had to write this down on paper, I had to get it out…it's been swimming around my head for so long, it's consuming my every thought. It began as a fear and became my saving grace while I was in solitary, now that I'm free… I have to let it go, as I have to let you go.
So many nights I'd lie awake, watching you sleep, wanting so badly to tell you who I really am, wanting to surrender to you to live a life without fear without deceit.'
*I Surrender*
'But telling you the truth was impossible, the fear for your life, our children's haunting my every move. My worst fears were realized when they did find out but thinking of you, is what got me through…
I Surrender~
There's so much life
I've left to live
And this fires burning still
When I watch you look at me
I think I could find the will
To stand
For every dream
And forsake this solid ground
And give up this fear within
Of what would happen if they ever knew…
That I am in love with you…'
Jack felt his heart begin to race at Irina's confession that she'd been terrified of the KGB finding out she had fallen in love with him…
'Cuz I'd surrender everything
To feel the chance to live again
I reach to you
I know you can feel it too
We'd make it through
A thousand dreams I still believe
I'd make you give them all to me
I'd hold you in my arms and never let go
I surrender
I know
I can't survive
Another night away from you
You're the reason I go on
And now I need to live the truth
Right now there's no better time
From this fear I will break free
And I live again with love
And no they can't take that away from me
And they will see
I'd surrender everything
To feel the chance to live again
'Cuz I'll surrender everything
To feel the chance to live again
I reach to you
I know you can feel it too
We'd make it through
A thousand dreams I still believe
I'll make you give them all to me
I'll hold you in my arms and never let go
I surrender
Every night
Getting longer
And this fires' getting stronger
I'll swallow my pride and I'll be alive
Can't you hear my call…
I surrender'
He saw the images of Irina's torture and subsequent confinement in solitary racing through his mind as she talked about swallowing her pride so she would live… hearing her once again crying out his name to come save her.
'Right here
Right now
I'll give my life to live again
I'll break free
Take me
My everything
I surrender all to you
Right now
I give my life to live again
I give my life
Take me
My everything
I surrender all to you
I'll give my life to you…'
I love you, Jack...never forget that.
He blinked back the tears and folded the letter again, placing it inside his vest once more, feeling as though it was burning through the material, straight to his heart. They needed to talk and this time he would listen. He needed to stop making an ass of himself with all his assumptions about Irina and her motives, as time and time again… the truth revealed they'd all been wrong.
-Los Angeles, CA-
The four of them had left the airport and went straight to Ops, with Jack leading the charge to find Kendall.
Kendall saw the foursome approaching and the fury in Jack's eyes. "Jack." He tried to greet the man, attempting to give an explanation but was cut off.
"You son-of-a-bitch!" Jack seethed at the man.
"Now wait a minute… you don't have the right to address me like that!"
Jack let the comment go in one ear and out the other as he continued with his tirade. "You went behind me back and sent in the Delta team before we got there."
"They were supposed to be your backup in case you let Derevko slip away again. They weren't supposed to go in before you."
"But they did, because you sent them and now we've lost Irina again! Why would deliberately go behind my back?" Jack was getting more then a little pissed with the man.
"Because Irina Derevko, whether you like to admit it or not, was your wife and every decision you've made around her hasn't been made with the most rational train of thought in mind. You are one of the best agents I have but when it comes to Derevko, your judgment is blurred. I wanted to believe you could do the job but I needed insurance in case you didn't…you ought to be familiar with this notion," He shifted his weight in a dominance stance, "Planting a passive tracker on Irina in Panama as your own insurance."
Jack's mind quickly flashed back to the moment he'd inserted the tracker into Irina's breast in the thralls of their passion, using his teeth as a distraction. The image sent a surge of heat through his body remembering the sensation. It also reminded him of that 'little something else' he'd implanted in Irina that night that was now taking precedent over everything else. "You're right, I didn't trust Irina's motives which is why I 'went to the trouble' of planting the tracker." Jack decided to play this cool, turning his lust into duty. "You need to rescind the Shoot To Kill Order on Irina." Jack stated calmly, looking dead serious into the eyes of Kendall.
"Why?"
"Because it's not just her life we'd be taking anymore!" Jack reached inside his jacket pocket and handed the sonogram photos to Kendall. "She's pregnant."
"What?" Kendall gasped looking down and the images in his hand, "How far along?"
"Almost twenty-six weeks and before you do the math…" He could see Kendall calculating mentally, "I'm the father..."
Kendall's eyes shot up from the photos and this time it was Jack who saw the fury behind them.
Jack didn't give him time to respond before answering the questions he knew he was about to be asked. "It happened in Panama… the result of planting the tracker." Jack's eyes remained focused on Kendall, who darted his eyes away from Jack at the thought, wanting to look convincing and also avoiding Sydney's reaction. "And no, I didn't know about the baby until we found these."
"I could bring you up on charges." Kendall glared at Jack, knowing he wouldn't really do it but presented it as a threat anyway.
"I was doing my job, just like she had done hers." Jack's face remained stoic.
Everyone knew exactly the reference he was making, though Kendall doubted highly that Jack's night with Irina was just chance for revenge. Not believing for a second that Jack had to make any sacrifices in the name of duty by sleeping with the beautiful Irina Derevko. Though he did have to commend the man for having the balls to climb into bed with a woman who'd killed men beyond recognition."How can you be certain you're the father?" Kendall asked a little more softly.
"I'm certain." Jack maintained his resolve, believing in Irina more then he ever thought possible before, for once giving her the benefit of the doubt. "I have to believe that's why she risked coming to my house that night… She was going to tell me about the baby."
"Well this certainly puts us in a hell of a position, Jack." Kendall shook his head handing him back the photos.
"So you'll rescind the order?" Sydney asked hopefully, speaking up for the first time in the conversation.
"Yes… at least for now. That woman's just one damn surprise after another."
"Speaking of surprises…" Jack glanced back at Vaughn, who looked like hell from lack of sleep. "We uncovered yet another secret in Irina's past that turns everything we thought we knew about her, upside down once again." Jack placed his briefcase on the desk and opened the KGB file on Irina to the pages containing the photos of Irina with the identified, yet unseen, man named Mikhail Vontonavich. He handed the pages to Kendall, tapping his finger on the photo as he spoke. "This man, identified here with Irina in 1970 as Mikhail Vontonavich, was also the same man," Jack flipped the pages to the information they'd decoded about Irina's time in Kashmir, "That made the escape attempt from the KGB prison with Irina in 1982 and made it but died from injuries." Jack added softly stealing a look at Vaughn, feeling for the young man much as he did for Sydney when she learned the truth about her mother.
"Yes, we've already gone over this. Where are you going with this, Jack?"
"We've got reason to believe that this man, Mikhail Vontonavich, was a double–agent for the KGB…working inside the CIA under the alias… William Vaughn."
Kendall whipped his head up, eyes wide. "What? Where'd did you get that idea…" his eyes racing back and forth between Jack and Vaughn.
Jack reached into the briefcase and handed the photo of Vaughn's father and Irina, to Kendall.
"God damn it…" He cursed under his breath as he stared at the photo.
"We found it in Irina's things. It was taken October 1st, 1970 in Russia… the same day as these surveillance photos."
"I can't believe this." Kendall stammered still shaking his head, the realization of it all sinking in. "If William Vaughn really was Mikhail Vontonavich… that means Derevko didn't kill him, if he was the man who tried to escape in Kashmir with her."
"No…" Jack sighed, "William Vaughn's death was most likely staged, like Irina's, in order to extract him. How he ended up in the KGB prison, I have no idea."
"Get Marshall," Kendall ordered Weiss, "I want him to scan the faces of the prisoners in the footage of Irina's time in Kashmir, see if we can't get an ID on him there. I need to call Devlin, set up a special committee to investigate William Vaughn."
"I want to be on it." Vaughn finally spoke.
"Absolutely not." Kendall closed the file abruptly, softening his gaze at seeing Vaughn's distress. "You are to stay out of this, you understand? I want you to go home, get some sleep… you people look like hell." He could see how devastated Vaughn was from the news and understood why; the 'kid' had worshipped his Dad.
"It's 7:30 in the morning." Vaughn protested.
"I don't care. Go home!" He ordered. "I'll page you if we need you. All of you… Go!"
*All Water*
They reluctantly went home and passed out from their exhaustion.
Sydney awoke with the feeling that someone was watching her. Lying on her side, she opened her eyes and found Vaughn staring at her. "Did you get any sleep?" She inched her face closer to his
"Yeah." He offered her a small smile. "I just woke up a few minutes ago."
"It's gonna' be ok." She whispered back seeing the sadness in his eyes. "We're going to get through this…together."
He reached up and tucked her hair behind her ear, leaning in to place a light kiss on her lips.
Just then, they heard the unmistakable sound of their beepers going off.
"Kendall." They said in unison, jumping out of the bed.
They met Jack at the entrance, and found Kendall hovered over Marshall's computer while Weiss and Dixon joined them.
"What have you got?" Jack asked peering over Marshall, instantly horrified at seeing the images of Irina being tortured on the screen again.
"Oh God..." Sydney gasped, her reaction much the same as her father's, though this time quite a few heads popped up from the surrounding computers to see what all the commotion was about.
"We should take this in the briefing room." Kendall interjected and the group followed.
Once behind the privacy of closed doors, Marshall began his explanation of his findings. "I was scanning the footage, trying hard not to think about … well the torturing of your… I had to turn the sound off… anyway, concentrating on the prisoners and using the positive ID system… we've found a match. I'm sorry…" He gulped looking sadly at Vaughn. He pushed Play and the scenes of the prisoners shaking their bars and reaching out in front of the passing camera rolled by. "This time… concentrating on just the prisoners… I saw him right away… he was the only one not cheering." He paused on a dangerously skinny man with scraggly hair, standing silently by the bars. His face had been turned just enough, you couldn't get a full view of him but as the camera panned back… his face could clearly be seen. Through sunken cheeks and hollow eyes, the face of William Vaughn was recognizable. "The computer confirmed it. He can be seen many times actually. Here's the best one."
They watched as the film played on and the camera came surprisingly close to his face, Marshall paused it. Tears were visible making their way down Vaughn's father's face as he watched them beat and rape Irina, while the other prisoners went crazy with enjoyment.
"He was KGB…" Vaughn breathed into the silence of the room. His anger could be seen rising within him.
"Um," Marshall began hesitantly looking cautiously around the table, "As I was looking at the footage, I got to thinking… that your mom," He looked to Sydney, "Well… all this time everyone's thought she killed Vaughn's father… but, but obviously she didn't… because he was actually KGB and in prison before she got there…" He was really rambling now, "So… so I got to thinking… that maybe some of the other CIA Officers she… she supposedly killed… weren't really dead either. So I," He swallowed hard, "I just randomly… ah, started scanning the other prisoners for a possible match with some of the agents that had been killed."
Everyone sat on pins and needles waiting for Marshall to hurry up and tell them.
"And!" Kendall prodded him along.
"And… I found a match… on two other prisoners. Agent Craig Wessley and Agent David Markson." He pushed Play and paused on the two 'supposedly murdered' CIA Officer behind bars at the KGB prison, as the stunned faces watched the screen.
Jack rested his head in his hands and began rubbing his temples, feeling a sudden pressure building inside his head.
"Son-of-a-bitch," Kendall leaned back in his chair staring at the screen. "They had us completely infiltrated." He let out a big sigh turning his attention to the two children of at least two of the KGB infiltrators, and then to Marshall. "Good work Marshall." He nodded his approval. "Dixon, I want you to pull all the files of the agents Irina Derevko supposedly killed… we're going to have to start a new investigation into them all… have them on my desk in an hour, I'll take them to Devlin. The rest of you… see you tomorrow." Kendall stormed out of the room, followed by Dixon and Marshall. Jack, Vaughn and Sydney remained, still mulling over the new information.
"What are you going to tell your mom?" Sydney asked quietly, taking hold of Vaughn's hand.
"Nothing." Vaughn replied quickly, turning his attention from Jack to Sydney, "At least not until I talk to your mother."
Marshall returned carrying the box they had taken from Irina's. "I almost forgot; we checked the disks… their ok. No information… just old home movies and some composite slideshows. Mostly of your family." He tried to offer a slight smile, realizing what a 'family' it was. "Really good actually… I got a little misty eyed watching them." Seeing Jack's expressionless face staring he turned his attention to Sydney. "You were a really cute little girl." He raised his eyebrows smiling. "Ah here." He set the box on the table and said 'Goodnight.'
"So we'll pick up some Chinese and we'll meet you at the house." Sydney looked at her father, seeing him staring intently at the box.
"Syd… I don't think I should be there to watch these with you." Vaughn said lightly looking at Jack. "This is a family thing."
"Vaughn, please." She didn't bother to look at Jack's reaction, wanting to have Vaughn there for support. "You're family to me." She smiled and squeezed his hand.
"Ok." He returned the smile.
Jack grabbed the box and set out for home.
When they finished dinner, eaten mostly in silence, Sydney grabbed the box and moved into the living room. While she busied herself with the DVDs, Jack poured himself some Vodka, downing one, before pouring another preparing himself for the assault of memories he knew was coming. He offered a glass to Sydney and Vaughn, which he accepted and she declined. Jack took a seat in the chair as Sydney nestled into the couch next to Vaughn and hit Play.
*Clair de Lune*
As the first image faded into view, Claude Debussy's 'Clair de Lune' could easily be recognized being played on a piano.
A little girl, with long wavy dark hair, sat on a piano bench, her back to the camera. She looked so small sitting in front of the big grand piano, her feet barely touching the pedals.
The person holding the camera went to the side and focused on the two little hands dancing feverishly away on the keys. As the camera moved up, you realized she was playing from memory.
Sydney had to smile at the concentrated look on her mother's face as she played the song, paying no attention to the camera. "She's amazing… she can't be more then eight or nine years old."
Jack's mind suddenly flashing back to Irina at their own piano, now collecting dust in the far room, playing the same tune. He was always amazed at her musical genius.
The footage faded to black as the music continued to play. Footage of beautiful woman, Anastasia they'd guessed, with a striking resemblance of Irina today, was smiling madly as she held the tiny new baby, bundled tightly in her arms. They appeared to be standing in Red Square in front of St. Basil's Cathedral on a bright sunny day in the middle of winter. Irina had the same spiky Mohawk that Sydney had as a baby.
The camera was passed off to someone and Irina's father joined his wife and child, kissing baby Irina softly on her head, beaming proudly as any new father would.
In the next part a tiny Irina could be seen toddling towards the camera in a garden surrounded by gorgeous flowers. Her cute little chubby baby arms reaching for whomever, was filming. In the same garden, sitting on a white blanket, Irina, a little older, was kissing the baby lying next her… Katya.
It went on to show the girls at the beach at the Black Sea, and ice-skating in Leningrad Park. Irina with her hair in two tight little buns, dressed in her school uniform on what looked to be her first day of school. Doing ballet in front of frosted glass window. There was footage of Irina blowing out her candles on her sixth birthday and screaming madly with delight as she opened her gift of Alice In Wonderland; the same First Edition copy she'd given to Sydney on her sixth birthday.
Vaughn's attention was drawn to the older boy, maybe nine or ten years old standing off to the side. "Wait! Pause it!" He shouted, grabbing for the remote. As the boy turned to face the camera again Vaughn pressed Pause. "Oh my god… that's my father."
The little boy smiling at the camera could just as easily have been a picture of Vaughn when he was a child the resemblance was so strong.
"He knew your mother since she was at least six years old." Vaughn sighed folding his hands together and resting his chin on them as he leaned forward. They weren't just agents in the KGB together, they were friends… childhood friends.
Sydney and Jack remained silent knowing Vaughn was still dealing with shock of finding out who is father really was and worried the young man might implode at any moment.
The film of Irina's childhood continued to roll by with images of her riding a horse and fishing with her father. There were also plenty of images of she and Katya being silly; dressing up in their mother's clothes as all little girls do.
Sydney remembered doing the same with her mother's. Vaughn's father appeared occasionally, playing games with Irina and Katya.
Around the age of twelve or thirteen, Irina could be seen participating in various children's athletic teams the Soviet Union used to put children and teens into to begin testing them for their skills and placement. She was a member of the swim team and looked all too cute in her red swimsuit and swim cap, her smile disarming even then. She continued with ballet and was also a member of the rowing and track teams. Every one of her uniforms was the same red, white, and gold with the symbol of the Soviet Union blazoned somewhere on it.
At about thirteen, her looks began to change from a beautiful girl to a gorgeous young woman.
Her graduation from the KGB Academy had Jack holding his breath, as it wasn't too long after that she came to the US and met him. Irina could be seen in uniform, in tears hugging her mother, who had just given her a gift.
"The earrings." Sydney whispered seeing the box in her hand and remembering the story her mother had told her. Irina hadn't lied to her about them.
The film once again faded to black and faded into the image of a sixteen year old Irina playing the same tune and right on cue. She was stunning and looked exactly the way Jack remembered her from the first moment he saw her. As she finished playing, tears could be seen rolling down her cheeks. Her mother came and sat silently beside her on the bench until she finished. Irina leaned into her, resting her head on her mother's shoulder, while Anya rested her head against Irina's… tears in her eyes as well. The film faded to black.
They all realized it was probably the last day Irina saw her family before moving to the US for her mission with Jack. Sydney grabbed a Kleenex and pushed play for the next DVD.
*What A Wonderful World*
Louis Armstrong's "What A Wonderful World" began to play as grainy footage of a very pregnant Irina twisted around on a swing. She was smiling and laughing and Jack felt his heartstrings tug, remembering the day well. He had just gone out and bought their first 8mm camera, feeling they were going to need one, as they were about to become parents. He had been saying all kinds of ridiculous things to her to get her to smile at him behind the camera.
The next segment was of Irina, lying on her side in bed as a very newborn Sydney lay sprawled out next to her, punching her little hands and feet into the air as she slept causing Irina to smile and laugh.
Then it was a shirtless Jack lying in the hammock in their backyard with a sleeping baby Sydney on his chest, his hand protectively covering her back.
Sydney had never seen his smile so radiant then in the image before her and she braved a quick glance at her father now to catch him with a small smile on his face.
Sydney's 'firsts' began to roll by one by one, first smile, laugh, crawling, birthday, and steps into Irina's arms where she caught Sydney and spun her around laughing and crying at the same time in delight. She pulled Sydney to her chest and kissed her sweet baby cheek and neck as Sydney wrapped her tiny arms around her. There were clips of the entire family posing together at family picnics and running through sprinklers in the hot summer sun, her father smiling and laughing the entire time he was getting soaked. Sydney and Irina were seen together reading books and baking cookies, playing the piano.
Sydney and Vaughn burst out laughing as they watched a five year old Sydney giving Jack a make-over with make-up and all, Irina was obviously laughing as well because the camera started to shake with her.
Jack finally gave in and chuckled along with them seeing him self in rollers and a very serious Sydney applying lipstick all over his lips.
Jack and Sydney could be seen building sandcastles at the beach, and running away from the waves…falling into the sand in fits of laughter.
The last image as the song ended was from their last trip to the beach before Irina left. Sydney was perched on top of Jack's shoulders as he hung onto her ankles with one hand. He pulled Irina in next to him with his other arm. They smiled and waved to the camera before turning to walk down the beach hand in hand, into the setting sun… fading to black.
Emily Sloane had been the one behind the camera that day and Jack felt a sudden wave of sadness for the fallen woman remembering happier days with the 'Sloanes.'
Vaughn had to admit, they looked every bit the happy family… just like he remembered with his own before his father's 'death.'
Sydney grabbed another tissue and blew her nose as the tears continued to fall. She pushed Play on the last DVD as she snuggled in closer to Vaughn.
*Goodbyes *
The screen remained black as the music began to play. The distinct voice of Celine Dion could be heard but Sydney didn't recognize the song.
Images of a very pregnant, Anastasia, 'Anya,' faded into the screen followed by photos of a newborn Irina with her mother and various other pictures of them together throughout the years.
'Mamma you gave life to me
Turned a baby into a lady
And mamma…
All you had to offer
Was a promise of a lifetime of love…
Now I know there is no other love like a mother's
Love for her child
And I know
That love so complete someday must leave
Must say goodbye
Goodbye's the saddest word I'll ever hear
Goodbye's the last time I will hold you near
Someday you'll say that word and I will cry
It'll break my heart to hear you say goodbye
Mamma you gave love to me
Turned a young one into a woman
And mamma all I ever needed
Was a guarantee of you loving me
Images of Irina with a newborn Sydney began playing chronicling their time together.
'Cause I know
There is no other
Love like a mother's love for her child
And it hurts so
That something so strong
Someday will be gone, must say goodbye
Goodbye's the saddest word I'll ever hear
Goodbye's the last time I will hold you near
Someday you'll say that word and I will cry
It'll break my heart to hear you say goodbye…
But the love you gave will always live
The images changed to random pictures of Anya, Irina, and Sydney at various ages in their lives, including photos of Sydney that had been taken, after Irina had left well into college.
You'll always be there every time I fall
You are to me the greatest love of all
You take my weakness and you make me strong
And I will always love you 'til forever comes
And when you need me
I'll be there for you always
I'll be there all life through
I'll be there this I promise you
I'll be your beacon through the darkest night
I'll be the wings that guide your broken flight
I'll be your shelter through the raging storms
And I will love you 'till forever comes
Goodbye's the saddest word I'll ever hear
Goodbye's the last time I will hold you near
Someday you'll say that word and I will cry
It'll break my heart to hear you say goodbye
'Till we meet again...
Until then...
Goodbye…
The last two images were of Irina hugging her mother's neck from behind, what must have been her departure for the US and of a six year old Sydney hugging her mother the same way, that day on the beach.
Sydney could barely breathe as the tears overflowed from her eyes. She could see now exactly how much Irina loved her…and hear how much it hurt her losing her mother and daughter.
Jack too felt the tears welling in his eyes watching the images and hearing the song, his heart breaking watching Sydney's reaction at the realization of the depth of love her mother had for her. "Enough of this finding out the truth second hand…" He stood from the chair, blinking back his tears with a new determination. "We're going to St. Petersburg… tonight!" He looked at a startled Vaughn and Sydney as he made the call to Kendall.
It didn't take Sydney but two seconds to jump off the couch and start preparing.
They'd seen quite a bit of the Alexander Palace in Irina's films and photographs and with the recent photo they found in Rio of her there… he could only hope that's where she would be. If not her, at least Katya… someone/anyone who could help them find Irina. He'd told Kendall they'd gotten a lead, but said nothing more as they didn't want compromise their chance to speak with Irina.