Dear Reader,

Okay, this is the funniest chapter! Well, I think anyway...I hope I did a good job at keeping Envy in character. And please Sloth fans, don't bitch slap your computer becasue of what I've done to her. But Envy needs this! It's allllll part of the plan, don't worry. All will be revealed in do time...Bwahahaahahaahaa! Okay, enjoy.

- Ramona F

Discovery

Where the hell was she?

Last night Envy had made a stupid mistake.

He had been walking that human to the kitchen after that stupid, pointless meeting with Dante and the others. He had argued with the dumb mechanic after she had called him a palm tree! The nerve of her! Well, to get her back he thought it would be fun to mess with her a bit by walking her around while she was hungry. Then she had asked him about his powers, and Envy, being one to brag, had gotten carried away with showing her his skills.

It had started when he had changed into her. And had felt the supple curves of her inhumanly perfect body. The feel of it had stirred something inside him, and his mouth had burned with the ache he usually he got for the false philosopher stones. But this was a new ache. It went through his whole body, and made it hard for him to focus on holding her form. He had even let his voice and eyes slip. It disgusted him, this misplaced craving he was having.

It pissed him off, so he decided to get back at her for calling him a palm tree.

Envy had reached out and touched her in a gentle, human way. A way that he had seen men touch loved ones. A way he was sure Edward touched her. He was disgusted with himself. But at the same time...Pleased. Mostly because he felt like he was getting the little shit alchemist back. He was touching something that belonged to him. He was doing what he had originally planned, but without marring her beauty and going against stupid Dante. He mostly had done it as an experiment, to see if she would finally slap his hands away from her. If she did, Envy would take that as a yes to start carving her up.

But Envy hadn't been expecting her response.

She had blushed, the same way she had when he had changed into the grotesque form of Fullmetal. She didn't draw back, or turn to anger. But she seemed to..Lean in. She watched his lips with a bright anticipation he would give to someone screaming in pain. Someone about to have their arm chopped off. She looked at his lips with a...Hunger. A desire that both disgusted and intrigued him. She had clearly seen him change into a horrifying best earlier that morning, and he not only tried to eat her, but he had thrown up all over her. And thinking back on that, he felt something odd run through him.

Embarrassment?

But what was he to be embarrassed about? She was just a stupid human! What did he care if she saw him throw up all over himself like a child?

But the way she had spoken out to Dante in the meeting had impressed him. She had a fire in those pale eyes of hers that matched the intensity of their "masters".

And they way she had looked in that dress...

He slapped himself.

What was he thinking!

He barreled down the hallway, searching for her. Last night he had seen her go up the stairs, and when he had followed, she was gone. She wasn't in his room either, and he hadn't shown her to her new room, so she wasn't possibly there. And there was no way out from the second floor, unless she had jumped out one of the windows, which he highly doubted. Envy would have smelt her blood, or heard her cry out in pain. And she would get lost in the city, she had no idea where the exit was, and was too much of an idiot not to get lost.

He stood in the middle of the hallway, his anxiety growing.

Could she have escaped?

And why the hell did she have to over react so much!

He hadn't even done anything to her!

He hated woman!

The winning of Gluttony drew his attention from his rage. He looked down at the creature. Gluttony was rocking back and fourth with his hand in his mouth, gnawing on it like candy. If something could disgust Envy more than a human, it would have to be Lust's lap dog.

" Gluttony?"

The portly homunculus looked up at Envy with sad, glowing eyes.

He whimpered, " Hungry."

Envy rolled his eyes.

" Since when are you not, tubs?"

An idea sparked into Envy's eyes, making them wide with fear. He picked up the fat man with one hand and lifted him up in the air like he was nothing, looking up into his wide, fearful eyes with his own violet haze. He couldn't keep the venom from dripping in his voice, which shook with rage.

" The girl-" He corrected himself, "- the human! Did you eat her?"

The fat creature shook his head frantically.

" No! Lust said not to eat her. So I didn't!"

Envy glared at him, not sure if he was being truthful or not. But if Lust had said no, then Gluttony wouldn't have done anything. But Envy was still paranoid. If anything happened to that stupid wench it would be his head.

" Have you seen her?"

Gluttony drooled a bit and Envy felt sick.

" Yes me has seen her. Very yummy. Smells delicious."

Anger boiled up inside Envy, and he found himself slamming Gluttony into the wall.

" You will not touch her, you fat, filthy swine!" He ground out, dropping the fatty as his drool slid onto Envy's hand. Envy made a disgusted noise, and he wiped the spittle from his knuckles.

A giggle made his ears perk.

He turned to find he was standing before Lust's door, which was a few rooms down from his own. He narrowed his eyes and stared at the door, waiting.

There it was again!

A giggle!

He ran to the door and put his face up to it, closing his eyes in concentration.

He had defiantly heard a feminine giggle from behind it. And Lust wasn't the type to giggle. Let alone laugh. Who was it then?

" Whatcha doing Envy?"

Envy nearly jumped out of his skin as Wrath tapped on his shoulder. He turned to look down at the little bright eyed troll, who was smiling up at him, munching on a muffin. His eyes fell on the delicious looking treat for a moment and widened into the size of planets. He was so hungry after barfing up his stones...

A giggle sounded from behind the door again, causing Envy to forget his hunger. Envy held a finger to his lips to try and silence the boy, afraid whoever he was listening to would find him out.

" Oh, your trying to listen!"

Envy slapped his own face with one hand and glared at the little boy who chewed on his treat.

" Mommy says it's rude to ease drop."

Envy found it ironic that the person sent to listen in on people disguised as a puddle would be giving out such lectures, but he let it slide as the giggling turned into laughter. His curiosity itched and he found himself pressing his face to the door again.

" Why don't you just look thought the window?" Wrath suggested.

Envy's eyes became wide with inspiration, and he made his way down the hall, but stopped once he heard Wrath trudging behind him. He spun on his heals and glared down at the kid, who was licking his fingers. Muffin crumbs fell onto his shirt and stuck to his face, and his eyes where wide with curiosity as he looked up at Envy.

" Go away!" Envy snapped.

Wrath pouted, " Oh come on Envy! I wanna see!"

Envy balled him hands into fists.

" No! Go away you little imp!"

Wrath pouted, and then his face became sly. He smirked at Envy.

" Fine, I'll just tell whoever's behind that door that your listening in on them like a creep."

Envy's anger raged. But then he thought of the consequences. Lust would be pissed. And he hated arguing with the busty sin. She always grated on his nerves as a nag, and the last thing he needed was for her to have even more of a grudge with him. He smacked his forehead again and dragged his hand down his face. He glared down at Wrath, who was giving him puppy dog eyes.

" Fine. But keep your trap shut."

Once inside his room, Envy opened the window and transformed into a crow, flying over to Lust's balcony and perching on the railing with ease. He shifted back to his preferred form, keeping his balance. His bare feet held onto the inch wide rails with inhuman balance, and he smiled down at himself.

" No fair!" Wrath hissed, as he jumped from balcony to balcony.

" Your the one who wanted to come." Envy snickered at Wrath.

Envy went to peer into the dark window.

" Wait for me!" Wrath wined as he almost slipped on the railing of the balcony next to them.

Envy hissed and almost let out a scream, but stopped himself. He couldn't let Lust and whoever was in their with her know what he was up to. So he tapped his foot impatiently as Wrath hopped next to him and rubbed his hands together.

" Okay! I'm ready!" He whispered.

Envy rolled his eyes and cupped his hands over the glass, pressing his face against them and squinting. Because of the blasted darkness he almost couldn't see, but the oil lamps burning inside and the roaring fire illuminated everything all too quickly, and he could feel Wrath's body temperature rise up with his own at the sight they saw.

Lust was lying down on her bed in a black corset, and silky black panties, belly down, with her legs bent up behind her. She was giggling at a standing Winry, who wore a sheer white lace number with flower printed laced panties. She was twirling and twirling, and the thin material around her bust only slightly covered up her chest. Lust continued to giggle and tried to cover her mouth.

" You can keep that. Never really was my style." Lust smiled.

" Really! Thank you!" Winry gasped, starry eyed.

Envy didn't know what to think.

" Oh...My...God..."

Oh shit, he thought. He forgot about Wrath!

He was too late when he went to put a hand over the little boys eyes, the little humunculie bit down and Envy held in a scream. He would pay later.

" Your so nice to let me sleep here Lust!" Winry chirped happily.

Envy growled. So that's where she had been. He had been so freaked out, and for nothing! She was just a few doors down! He felt stupid at worrying so much over her.

" Don't mention it. Any time. I enjoy our girl talk." Lust smiled.

" If it hadn't been for you last night, I don't know what I would have done!"

" Don't worry about Envy. He's just an ass. Thankfully, you have your own room now. He won't bug you any more." Lust smiled.

Envy was a little taken aback. This had been because of him?

Then he mentally punched himself.

Of coarse it had been about him! He had come on to the girl!

But he still felt it was a little stupid of her to have freaked out so much.

Woman, he rolled his eyes.

Winry began giggling at something he had missed Lust say, and he could help but notice her curves under that sheer fabric. She looked very different to him now, and he suddenly felt like he was in a hot dessert. He yanked at the collar of his flesh tight shirt. Winry did a little hip twisting motion and raised her hands, causing Lust to laugh even more. Envy started to sweat and his chest felt very heavy.

" I don't know why I bought that. It's white." Lust sighed.

" What's wrong with white?" Winry giggled.

Lust gave her a dark smile and she reached over and picked up a stray piece of winry's long, golden hair. The difference between the two was scary. It was like a demon and an angle sitting in the same room together.

" White is the color of virginity." Lust said in her smooth voice.

Winry blushed and looked down at herself.

" Oh..." Was all she said.

" Are you a virgin?"

Envy's interest spiked and he found his nose had painfully bumped into the glass. He scowled at it before returning his attention to the virgin.

Winry sighed and sat down on the bed cross legged. She held a red pillow to her chest like a little girl. Envy felt that strange sensation in his chest fade when she covered herself, and was thankful.

" Yes."

Envy could have told Lust that.

But he found it odd, still. If he was in Fullmetal's place-

He stopped that thought.

" What's wrong Blondie?" Lust smiled, sitting up to match Winry's position, only sexier. One of her giant breast almost popped out of her corset in the process, but she didn't mind. Her ouroboros tattoo shone out like a scar amongst her perfect skin.

" It's just..." Winry's voice shook.

Lust put a hand on her shoulder, and Envy was surprised. Homunculus didn't show such kindness. Especially not to a human. But then again, Lust was different. She wanted to be human. Badly.

" I'm sorry your tapped here. But I can't do anything."

Winry looked up at her and smiled.

" I wouldn't dream of asking for your help. That woman...Dante...she scares me. I can only imagine how she must make all of you feel." Winry's face turned serious, and she put her hand on top of Lust's. " Your a good friend Lust. Really. I've never...well, the only friend's I've ever had where two boys! This was really nice. Thank you. Your a great person."

Lust seemed taken back. Envy didn't know how he would react in that kind of situation either.

It was hard, being a homunculus. One didn't know how to feel. Their emotions swarmed around them like bee's in a beehive. One prominent emotion being their queen. His was envy, which is why he had been given his name. He was envious of humans and their compassion. Lust was lustful for humans and their life.

So now, as he watched his fellow humunculie, he tried to imagine what he would do. He would probably rip Winry to shreds. But Lust smiled the warmest smile he had ever seen grace her dark lips. She looked to be on the verge of tears. And as she drew Winry in for an embrace, Envy felt himself stir with his envy again.

Why couldn't he do that?

" Wow. She sure is something..." Whispered Wrath .

The hot and bothered child below his drew Envy's attention from his thoughts, and he let out a too loud sigh. Lust's hearing perked up and she broke from Winry's arms to look sharply at the window. Envy stiffened, and felt all the blood rush from his face. He thought he had been found out, that Lust would march up to the window and draw back the dark curtains, revealing the two boys with their faces pressed against the glass, which was beginning to fog up from their heavy, hot breath.

But she only smiled a dark smile, and he felt his face grow hot.

" So, tell me what you think of Envy, Winry."

" Oh! Their talking about you!" Wrath hissed.

Envy's eye's grew into deadly slits as Lust turned her crimson gaze to the now blushing blond.

" Oh...well..." She murmured.

" Oh, come now. Surely you must find him attractive. Or is he nothing compared to your Fullmetal alchemist?"

Envy hissed. So this is what she was doing.

Winry placed her hands on her cheeks. " Oh well...I think they're both...Very attractive. And well..." She giggled slightly as waved a hand in front of her face.

Envy stiffened at her statement. She thought he was attractive? Hadn't she called him a palm tree? But for some reason, Envy felt slightly triumphant. But only slightly. She had said both. And that meant she thought the pipsqueak was...Wait a second! Why did he care? He shook his head, trying to focus.

Lust smirked, " Yes?" she purred.

" Edward is a little short." She said it in a quick, gusty breath.

Envy had to suck in a fit of laughter than almost escaped him. He bit his lip so hard he drew blood.

Lust let out a laugh and covered her mouth with her hand.

" But he's still growing! His dad was really tall so...Oh quit it Lust!"

The sin still giggled as she asked her another question, " And what about Envy?"

" Envy..." Winry blushed and sighed, falling back onto the bed and hanging her head off the edge, towards Envy himself. His attention was drawn to her chest which wasn't covered by the pillow, and how adorable she looked now. And...Seductive. Lust was too sexy. Envy didn't find her attractive at all. She was flinging her body out too much. But Winry...Winry was so innocent it was scary.

He grit his teeth, trying to push all of his ridiculous thoughts from his mind.

Envy blamed it on his hunger for the stones.

" Envy is...Very hard to understand. I've only known him for a day. But something about him just...I don't know! He's so interesting and...And sad. There's a sadness to his eyes...I don't know Lust!"

Once again, Envy was at a loss for what to think. All he wanted was for Lust's stupid little interrogation to end.

But Lust continued.

" And what about his eyes?" Lust purred again, stealing a quick glance out the window.

Envy felt a heated hatred fro her in that instant. He didn't know why his sister sin had decided to do this. How did it benefit her if Envy found out what some stupid human thought of him? Envy didn't care, and neither should Lust. He still didn't understand why she had let the girl into her room. Lust didn't let anyone into her room! Not even Gluttony!

This was actually his first time seeing it, and he took a moment to sweep his eyes over the dark space while the mechanic struggled with her answer. The walls where a dark, blood red with black roses, and the floors where lushly carpeted. She also had a bear skinned rug, with the beasts head still attached, fangs and all. She had a pink love seat, and a sterling silver vanity table, opposite of which was a changing divider, with piles of frilly bras and other under dressing strewn about. Her large black wardrobe was open, revealing tons of outfits Envy never saw her wear. Instead of a masters chair, she had a small coffee table, which had both magazines and old books. Envy guessed that was where she did her studies. No doubt on humans or human nature. Possibly even the origin her own kind. There where also boxes of chocolate beside the books, some with the lids open. Envy raised an eyebrow. He had never known that Lust liked such things. Or how girly she was.

He looked back at Winry, who was blushing, and had her eyes closed.

Dammit, answer already! He screamed in his head.

" His eyes...They're beautiful. Like no eyes I've ever seen before."

Envy's cheeks burned.

" What do you two think your doing?"

Envy and Wrath both jumped in surprise and turned sharply to see Sloth glaring down at them. She had her hands on her hips, and held the same malice of a mother who had just discovered her two sons stealing a cookie from the cookie jar. Or in this case, peeping at two girls through a window.

" Um...Um, we where just..." Wrath frantically whispered.

Sloth looked at Envy with sharp eyes and he gulped.

" Teaching him bad habits! Is this the kind of example you want to set for him?"

Envy was well aware that they where still standing on the balcony, and the two girls inside could probably hear them. He held his hands in front of himself shushed her frantically.

" Don't you shush me! Peeping Toms! Both of you! You should be ashamed of yourselves!"

She grabbed onto both of them by their ears and Envy winced in pain. He was too humiliated to do anything. He couldn't hit Sloth. He just...Didn't have it in him. And she was acting so odd right now. No longer was she the calm, half lidded woman he had known. Now she was acting like an outraged mother, treating him and Wrath like her children. Which he felt like at this moment, and she pulled them off the balcony and floated down tot he ground, still holding them both by their ears.

She dragged them out of the bushes and into the house, where she still didn't let go.

" Release me!" Envy snarled.

" No! You are going to sit here and think about what you did! You naughty boys!"

" But Mommy! He made me do it! Honest!"

" I don't want to hear another word of it Wrath! You to, Envy!"

And with that they both shut up. She sat them down on the stairs.

It was then Envy noticed she was wearing a frilly apron with cute cupcakes on it. It looked so out of place, what with her dark gloves and dark dress. Envy realized she was the one who had made the muffin Wrath had been scarfing. Envy's stomach gurgled loudly, and Sloth smirked.

" You can eat once you've finished thinking. And don't you dare move!"

Envy glared at the young homunculus. He was the first humunculie! He was older than her by decades! And he was letting her boss him around?

His stomach gurgled loudly again.

The smell of those delicious muffins was wafting in from the kitchen as she pushed the swinging door, and his mouth watered. He looked at the door with big eyes, and he scowled. He didn't know why, but at that moment, he felt very, very young. It wasn't a pleasant feeling.

It felt like eternity that he and Wrath sat down there, on the last step to the grand stair case. The house was cold, and uninviting, save for the delicious smells coming in from the kitchen. He almost lost track of time, before he heard the sound of approaching footsteps.

Winry and Lust made their way down the stairs, and he could feel their eyes on both he and Wrath. He looked up, to see Winry looking down at him with a confused expression. He stared up at her and took in her ensemble.

She had found a pair of tight fitting black pants- Lusts no doubt- and a dark purple sweater- Once again, Lusts- along with black socks- those he wasn't so sure about- and had her hands on her hips, looking down at him.

" And what did you do?"

Envy glared at her. This was all her fault after all.

" Where the hell did you go last night!" He played dumb.

" I think you know perfectly well where she went, Envy." Lust smiled, her voice dripping with venom as she addressed the older sin. He looked up at her and seethed.

" No. I don't." he said through clenched teeth.

Lust only smirked and he wanted to slap her.

" We got in trouble. Mommy's really angry." Wrath whimpered.

Lust raised an eyebrow, " Envy's taking punishment? From Sloth?"

" Mommies really scary when she's mad Lust!"

Envy had to agree with the little idiot about that.

" Mm, what's that smell?" Winry sniffed the air.

" That would be our breakfast. See you later, boys." Lust hooked her arm in Winry's and smiled down at the two sins, waving her gloved hand, and whisking Winry away.

Winry looked back at Envy and frowned, her eyebrows drawing in confusion.

Envy watched them go, and was hit with another delicious smell at the doors opened and closed again, revealing – only for a second- Sloth pulling a glistening chocolate cake from the oven with mitted hands, and smiling up at the two girls.

Envy moaned and fell back onto the stairs.

" This is torture!" He wailed.

" I'm hungry!" Wrath sniffled.

" You ate!" Envy pointed at the still lingering crumbs on the boys face.

" That was forever ago! I never should never have listened to you!"

Envy's smile turned dark.

" But you surely liked what you saw, didn't you?"

Wrath blushed, and now he wasn't looking at the door in hunger anymore. Well, at least not for food anyway. Envy snickered and also turned his attention to the door.

" S-she really is something..." Wrath stuttered.

" Who?" Envy raised an eyebrow, still not taking his attention form the door.

" I'm in love." Wrath whispered instead of answering him.

Envy's head snapped back to the little sin, who was still staring at the door. A longing in his eyes. Envy began barking with laughter. He threw his head back and the little imp began to blush.

" In love? Homunculus don't fall in love!"

Wrath turned to look at him with big eyes.

" But I am! I'm sure of it!"

Envy bared his teeth.

" Who? Who are you so infatuated with?"

" Winry of coarse!"

For some reason, Envy's anger flared again. He held back every urge not to strike the child. He gritted his teeth and darkly laughed in Wrath's face.

" And what makes you think she'll love you? Your a child. And she's with Fullmetal!"

" She said it herself! She's not his girlfriend! And he's too short!"

Envy glared at him.

" Your not exactly towering over her either."

Wrath blushed and bared his sharp little teeth.

" Oh ya? Well at least I don't look like a palm tree!"

Just as he was about to lunge, but the smell of a muffin filled his senses.

Winry was standing before him, blushing slightly, holding a muffin in each of her hands. She looked up from the floor for a second to meet his eyes, but looked away. Envy was confused by her behavior, but was distracted by the delicious pastry she held in her hands.

" Um, Sloth said you two could eat now. But only if you apologized to me."

Envy glared at the muffins as if they where poisoned.

" I'm sorry!" Wrath quickly said, holding his hands out for a muffin.

Envy's mouth watered as the piping hot cake was placed into his hands, and he felt like Gluttony. Speaking of which, where was the little pig? He should have been bounding down the stairs by now.

Envy's thought's where interrupted by a pair of pale blue eyes staring at him.

He folded his arms over his chest.

" I have nothing to apologize about." He said as he pointed his nose into the air.

" Oh come on! It's not that hard." Winry stomped her foot.

Envy bit his bottom lip, then eyed the muffin. He was starving. On top of loosing all of his stones, and not eating human food for almost a month, he was ready to inhale the little cake.

" I-I..."

He heard Winry and Wrath hold their breath in anticipation.

" I'm s-sorry." He ground out through tight lips.
He watched as Winry did an embarrassing little dance before handing him his prize. He smiled up in amusement at her and took a bite. It was the most delicious thing he had ever tasted! Maybe even more than a philosophers stone! Or a chocolate parfait! Oh how he loved chocolate parfaits.

His sanctuary was momentarily disrupted by a giggling.

Envy glared up at Winry, who was smiling a small smile down at him. She blushed slightly, but didn't take her eyes off of him. She pointed to her face.

" You have..."

She sighed and crouched down, so they where at eye level. She reached out, and he pulled back, but she kept on coming at him with her damned little fingers. He gave up when he was almost touching the next stair, and let her touch his cheek. She brushed away some crumbs, and he felt his cheeks heat up despite himself.

" Um...Thanks." he said through a mouthful of muffin, which sounded like gibberish.

" What?" she smiled, withdrawing her hand and standing.

Envy swallowed and licked his lips nervously. Because all he saw now was her in that sheer outfit, and he found himself wondering if she would ever wear it again. He shook his head, trying to clear his mind.

What was he thinking? He looked up at her and scowled.

" Nothing."

* Slaps knee while shorting* You see? Funny! Oh, and just so you know, Lust actually does care about Winry. She wasn't doing all of that for her own benefit or anything. she is the one that wants to be human after all. And just so you know, Envy was getting a little...coughs stiff cough...When looking at Winry in her sexy virgin get up. But he doesn't really realize it. Oh, and Winry really has no idea what she looks like. She thinks she's ugly. And I hope I did an okay job with Sloth. It was a rather drastic character change...And it only happened in a day! Well, whatever, I did it. Bite me.