Hi everyone. It's been two years since the last update and I am so so sorry to have taken so long. I think that being involved in social media for validation, namely the toxic place that is tumblr, made me feel bad about myself and my writing since my stories were never popular there and I was on a mountain climb where I felt like I never saw the top, which took all my motivation to write. I also had a very difficult time at grad school and my own mental health just got to an impossibly low point. So I'm going to continue to write this because I want to finish it, for all the readers that loyally and kindly commented and for myself because it's something I used to enjoy. Whether or not my story is liked, whether it's good or not is no longer my concern. I hope you all enjoy where my story takes you, but I'll understand if it doesn't.
Chapter 30
Time to Move On
Padmé was focused intently on the datapad before her, her eyes reflecting the blue glow and her eyebrows raised in some sort of anticipation.
They had wanted to watch a holo film just to relax and pretend as though they lived some sort of a normal life. Anakin was leaned back lazily on the living room sofa in Padmé's grand apartment and his eyes left the holo film before him and fell on Padmé sitting beside him. Her feet were tucked under her comfortably like a young girl's at her friend's slumber party.
She put the data pad down on the sofa and her eyes met his.
"I want to celebrate this new chapter in our lives." Padmé said with a smile on her face. "Let's all have a grand party, somewhere beautiful."
"Beautiful in Coruscant? Is there such a thing?" Anakin asked with a laugh.
He paused. "You're not going to drag us all the way to Naboo are you?"
"DRAG US?!" Padmé laughed. "Like you would mind. It's a paradise vacation for you whenever you go."
"I meant my family." Anakin replied.
My family. It sounded so odd coming out of his mouth. Of course they weren't biologically related to him. But just the concept of family itself, in whatever shape or form seemed so foreign to him. The concept of a brother and a father. It was something he would daydream of as a child. Daydreams he would indulge even though he knew in his heart that those imaginings wouldn't ever materialize, ever become real. But he liked to pretend. Pretending was the only way to survive. He would close his eyes in the junkshop and for just a moment his hands wouldn't be caked with grease and the frayed edges of his faded, stained, dull clothes would transform into a crisp star pilots uniform.
He blinked the memory away and focused on the conversation at hand.
"They just got here. As much as I love Naboo, it's too much for them to have to travel again." Anakin finally replied.
Padmé smiled. "Of course. They need time to get settled. Which is why I think it's a perfect idea to rent out somewhere here for us to go. Just for a day. I would love to dress Beru up in something, you know? Pamper her for a day. And I'm just so tired of the monotony of the Senate." Her smile left her features for a moment and she seemed serious, but it was gone soon after and her features relaxed once more.
"I'll have an excuse to dress Luke and Leia up! And Jacen deserves something grand as well. I want to celebrate this beautiful new family we have."
Anakin should have been so happy. And he had been for a moment or two, watching Padmé's eyes light up with excitement. Watching her joy. But the word family made him think of more than the Lars and their adopted son, Jacen. It made him think of more than Padmé and Luke and Leia.
He thought of Obi Wan and Ahsoka. Obi-Wan's exhausted, battered face. Ahsoka lifeless in her med center bed. They should be here with them now, making sarcastic quips. Obi-Wan could recover in time to attend the celebration, but without Siri his spirits would be low. That was something rest and relaxation could not change. Could not make better.
Padmé's expression changed as she noticed Anakin's pensive face. "What's wrong, Ani?"
She walked up to him and touched his arm. "You seem sad."
"It's nothing. I was just thinking how nice it would have been to have Obi Wan and Ahsoka at the celebration. That's all."
"But Obi Wan wouldn't want you to punish yourself because of what happened on Tatooine. It wasn't your fault. He'd want you to allow yourself to be happy…without this guilt."
Anakin smiled at her weakly. "I think your party is a wonderful idea. Don't let me bring you down. The Lars and Jacen deserve it. And you deserve it, Padmé. You deserve to smile and laugh. You've grieved too much since I came back into your life."
Padmé stood on her toes and Anakin bent his neck so his face was close to hers. She pecked him on the lips and then kissed his cheek.
Her voice was soft. "Thank you."