Chapter 1
Cary Agos cut a studious figure as he stood looking out of the window. His window. It had taken four years but finally he had the recognition he worked so hard to achieve and one of the great consequences of that, where Lockhart Gardner was concerned, was a big office with a window overlooking the city.
Slowly but surely Cary's reputation as a top criminal defense attorney was growing and since he had the added benefit of having inside intelligence on the opposition's way of thinking thanks to his stint in the SA's office, he was a winning force in the courtroom – a small fact that the partners at his firm did not overlook and in fact, reveled in. They often called on Cary to weigh in on big criminal cases, as much for his intel on what the State's Attorney's office would be strategizing as for his capabilities. He was okay with being used this way because with each criminal defense case won, Cary's skills as a sharp shooting attorney were being proven and the partners were noticing.
Today marked another such victory in Camp Agos. He had just gotten a call to say his client's release had been finalized. While Cary was taking in the city skyline from his cozy office, Abel Cook was at home where his girlfriend was most likely introducing him to his three-week-old daughter for the first time.
"Am I interrupting?" A smoky voice drifted into his reverie, the familiarity of which made Cary turn to face the speaker at his office door and the slight upturned corners of his lips immediately broke into a full and unabashed smile.
"Never," was his gentle and sincere response.
If Cary thought his day could not get any better, he was proven wrong by the appearance of Kalinda Sharma at his door. The smile he offered her was returned as she slowly walked around to where he stood, stopping short of rubbing up against him. Kalinda liked to push boundaries, he knew that, and Cary also knew that he was well-equipped to play her game. That is why, although her intention was to intimidate him with her close proximity, the young associate made no moves to back away. Instead, he stood rooted to the spot and shamelessly held her gaze.
"Heard anything yet?" she asked and even though the topic of discussion was arbitrary at best, she was referring to Abel's release, Kalinda had a unique knack for making everything she said sound seductive.
It happened whenever she dropped her voice to that specific lower tenor and her words were spoken with that slow, deliberate Sharma-drawl, like she was weaving an intricate web of Kalinda magic that would entice the most stubborn of prey to live and die by her very breath. The effect was instant for Cary, who tried his best to hide the fact that his heart had started a slow, rhythmic pounding like a sledge hammer attached to a giant metronome and there was that signature warmth of the most primal sense of arousal flaring through his veins like a slow lake of lava born out of the belly of a raging volcano.
"I just got the call," his tone was measured and contained, careful not to betray the innermost awakening of his desires. "Abel Cook was released a half hour ago."
"Congratulations," was her simple response, although Kalinda knew the amount of work it had taken to get a win. Even she had had her doubts at one point.
"I couldn't have done it without you." Cary's words now matched her low, slow delivery, a trick he learned worked well with Kalinda. It showed that instead of being intimidated, he was rising up as her equal.
"Most things around here couldn't be done without me," she retorted without missing a beat and the heavy sexual tension that had been slowly building up in the minimal space between the two friends dissipated a bit as they both gave in to laughter.
With the atmosphere lightened, Cary stepped back, the enchanting night skyline outside his window now a long forgotten memory that had been replaced by an enchantment of a more human kind. He surveyed Kalinda contemplatively with his arms folded across his chest. She was a puzzle he just could not piece; for all his years as a self-confessed intellectual, Kalinda Sharma was the one thing that stumped Cary at every turn.
"I thought you'd be celebrating."
"I was," he said, nodding his head at the window that framed their silhouettes in the darkness.
"Ah, your window," she said with a knowing smile. "And here I was thinking I could tear you away from it for a few hours to get a drink." The way she said it, made her words hang in the air between them as neither a statement nor question but heavily loaded with a promise of things neither celebratory nor alcoholic, but rather of a more primordial nature.
The hint was not lost on Cary, who immediately felt his insides tighten at the prospect. It would not be the first time that he gave in to the sexy investigator's charms and the last time it happened, he had a sneaking sense that it wouldn't be the last either. What he hadn't assumed was that the next first move would be coming from her. Kalinda was usually the one being pursued; having full control over which candidates would be successful in winning her favor.
It seemed to Cary that he must have made a lasting impression but even though he wasn't the one seeking out her company, he felt that Kalinda still held all the power. Despite having no hoops to jump through to make it into her good graces, the control was hers for the mere fact that the thought of saying no to Kalinda simply didn't exist in Cary's realm of reasoning.
"I guess I'm not really in the mood for company," he replied honestly.
It had been a long week and the case had left Cary drained. He would have been happy to stand at his window by himself all night. That is, until Kalinda showed up. Now his mind was toying with the possibility of sharing his solitude.
"Do you want me to go?" Her voice was softer now, not really in volume but in tone.
His response had clearly caught Kalinda off guard; she wasn't used to being pushed aside and couldn't hide her disappointment before the question had left her lips. She wasn't quite sure what she was disappointed about – not going for drinks or that Cary didn't want to spend time with her. The idea of the latter being at all true stirred a sense of trepidation within her that Kalinda fought to settle back down. That she had come to care for the man in front of her was never part of the plan. There had been a mutual attraction right from the start but she had been very careful because she knew where it might lead.
Cary Agos was not the kind of man who would be satisfied with a no-strings arrangement. He was the man who fell in love. He was also the man who was so damn easy to fall in love with. Cue the red flags. Kalinda knew that she would have to keep her distance and she was prepared to fight him off with a fishing pole if necessary. However, their dalliance of a few nights ago left her feeling… wanting… more – woke the sleeping dragon, so to speak and now she found herself wanting more of his companionship instead of fighting him off, as she first assumed would be the case.
"That's not what I meant," his voice was barely above a whisper but it was enough to break into her runaway thoughts and bring her back to the moment. "I just don't feel up for a social thing where-"
"Do you want me to go?" Kalinda repeated the question but Cary could hear a distinct change in her tone.
He could feel the walls going back up; she was closing off again and it was his fault. He had almost forgotten how easy it was, how the simplest thing could send Kalinda recoiling into her fortress that she so diligently nurtured.
"You're mad," he said eventually, shifting a little on his feet and burying his hands deep in his pockets, afraid they might fight against his restraint and make a move to touch her.
"I'm not anything." Yes, her tone was a lot colder now. "I just asked you a question that you don't want to answer for some reason."
"Kalinda-"
"Whatever Cary, I'll see you tomorrow. Enjoy your window," she said dismissively and turned to leave.
"Kalinda, wait," he said and his hands were on her shoulders before he even realized that his pockets no longer held them captive. She froze under his touch and slowly turned to face him.
Her deep, dark eyes searched his face and Cary knew that if he didn't do or say the right thing in that moment, she would be out his door. Kalinda's features were schooled in that infuriating way she had that didn't give any hints as to what she was thinking or feeling and he decided that his best option would be to just turn down the volume of his over-analyzing brain so that he could better hear what it was he really wanted.
It started by his hands dropping from her shoulders to hang by his sides. Cary immediately missed the warmth that they had just held in the shape of her body and took a step closer to her. It was a timid move, made to see whether she would accept his advance or retreat further into her fortress. Kalinda didn't move. A slight smile played at the corners of his lips as he acknowledged her silent permission for him to continue and Cary lifted a hand to slowly let his fingers loop inside one of the pockets on her snug leather jacket. He pulled her into him then, the motion forcing her to take two more steps to close what was left of the distance between them. Still, there was no protest made on her part.
Her gaze kept his in its fiery hold and Cary was sure that the heat he saw in her eyes was poring through her skin and snaking its way into him because it suddenly felt as though his blood had curdled into fire and it was hard to breathe. He noticed the change in her too as he could now feel the rise and fall of her chest against his with each breath she took. Slipping his fingers from her pocket, he let them wonder beneath the waistline of the jacket until his hand rested on her hip with such ease it was as if that had been the sole reason for its creation.
With his free hand he moved to tilt her chin until her mouth was just beneath his as he bent his head close to hers, lips tingling with anticipation. Kalinda's breath came warm and steady on his mouth, leaving Cary's brain unable to process any thought in that moment besides the one that involved his lips on hers.
"We're not alone," her voice was hoarse with arousal as she spoke, not withdrawing from Cary so that her words played on his mouth in short, hot breaths.
"What?" His voice was barely a whisper as well and this time Kalinda did pull away from the almost kiss, a lonely coldness creeping onto the place at her waist where his hand had rested.
"Diane and Will are working on the Herrman case. I just met with them," she concluded and watched as Cary's shoulders dropped in that way that showed defeat.
"Right, how's that going?"
"Slow, but I'll bring home the win like I always do."
He looked at her then, a slow smile tugging at the corners of his lips; a smile which she returned, understanding his silent proposal and silently accepting it. Kalinda took a step forward and played with this tie, her fingers lightly brushing his shirt and unknown to her, creating concentrated circles of heat on the skin that lay just beneath the thin protection of fabric.
Without another word, she turned on her heel and walked out of the office, her hips swaying seductively in the unique gait that was granted her by the boots that had become her signature accessory. Cary watched Kalinda make her way toward the elevator as if under a spell until eventually he realized that she wasn't going to stop and wait for him. Hurrying after her, he managed to catch up just as she stepped into inside.
"You coming?" she asked, tugging at her lower lip with her teeth in a slow and infuriatingly sexy way.
"I just have to grab my coat, meet you downstairs," Cary answered and another charming smile flashed across his face as he stood back and watched the doors slide closed.
The elevator stopped in the parking garage with a distinctive ding and opened to reveal Kalinda leaning back with a silly grin on her face, her mind clearly somewhere else. It was only as the doors were sliding closed again that she broke from her daydream and quickly slipped through the shrinking gap.
The usual eerie silence of the place didn't bother Kalinda as she made her way to her car. Her mind was in Cary's office, with him and what had almost happened… and what was about to happen. It had been years since another man had been able to make her feel the way she did about Cary. After everything that happened with Nick and then Lana, Kalinda didn't think she would find the kind of refuge she believed she had with the young associate. He was everything she thought she didn't want and yet the attraction they shared was undeniable. Still, it wasn't just about the chemistry, she admitted to herself and deactivated the alarm to her car with a bleep that echoed throughout the garage.
What she had with Cary went beyond physical attraction. They were friends, she was comfortable with him, trusted him enough to feel safe. Her mind flitted back to a few nights ago when she let him take her into his arms after they had both reached a mind blowing climax. The feel of his strong embrace as he held her, the steady rise and fall of his chest beneath her cheek as he drifted off to sleep… she hadn't made a move to leave, which was usually what she would have done. For some reason, she couldn't think of any place she'd rather be. Those arms and the way she fit inside them felt like the most natural thing in the world and Kalinda knew that it would take some doing before she gave that up. No personal code or set of rules to safeguard her heart could stop what had been set in motion that night and for the first time in years, Kalinda didn't care. For the first time in years, Kalinda thought she might be happy.
It was a second or two before she became aware of the pain searing through her face and that it was because of its sudden and forcible connection with her car door that brought it on. Before Kalinda could peel herself from the glass she felt strong hands take hold of her shoulders and do the deed for her, spinning her around and slamming her back against the car. Her eyes struggled to find its way through the stars that were clouding her vision and just as a dark face swam into focus in front of her she felt the sting of a back hand slap that sent her head back into the window it had just vacated. Kalinda's tongue instinctively felt the spot on her lip that stung the most and the hot, acrid taste of her own blood pooled in her mouth.
"I know who you were talking to today," a deep voice growled at her and suddenly a picture floated up in her mind's eye.
She still couldn't focus that well but the sound of his voice and the distinctive smell of cigar smoke mixed with cheap whiskey hung heavily on him and jump started her memory.
"I thought I told you to call off your pack."
She lunged at him with all her strength, the sudden action catching him off guard and making him stumble back a few steps. Kalinda took the opportunity to swing out hard and her right hook connected with his jaw with blunt force that rang back up her arm. Her hand screaming with pain, she hurried to the trunk side where she knew her baseball bat was hidden. Her fingers fumbled on the latch though, thanks to the filmy layer of perspiration that coated them. She blinked quickly to clear her eyes of the tears that burned them and gave a short moan of elation as she heard the latch finally click open. Kalinda dove into the trunk and grabbed for the bat and as her fingers wrapped around the comforting wooden handle a pain like nothing she'd felt awakened in her back and she felt herself being pulled away from the car. She could barely feel her arms and legs, let alone hold on to the bat; the man had slammed the trunk door down on her.
He pressed her up against the closed trunk now, his face so close to hers the smell of cigars and whiskey now reeking and swimming down her throat, causing her stomach to swirl with nausea. His left forearm was across her throat, keeping her in place and his free hand took a few jabs at her exposed ribs that rid her lungs of the last breath they had. Kalinda tried lifting her knees to force him back but he was a big man and her efforts were futile.
"You were with them now, weren't you?" his voice came to her in a sick whisper. "Ran straight to mommy and daddy to tell them what you found." He pushed back with his forearm to tighten the chokehold and Kalinda gasped for air, her ears thumping with the sound of her own racing heart. "This is the last time I'm telling you, call it off. You don't want to mess with these people."
The stars that swam in her vision were getting bigger as Kalinda found it harder to breathe and her head felt thick and muffled. Her attempts to free herself from her attacker's grip had dwindled to feeble jerks as the last of the fight in her dissolved. All of a sudden her arms and legs felt as if they were weighted with lead and whatever resolve Kalinda had to stay standing was gone. It was now by the good grace of that thick and assaulting forearm that she was being kept from the ground and her line of sight was slowly being swallowed by a deep black shadow that she recognized as the beginning of her loss of consciousness.
"I will find you," the words found their way out of her parted lips in a ragged breath with barely a sound to them.
"I'd like to see you try," he whispered into her mouth and the smell of him made her stomach twist.
It was only after Kalinda had hit the ground that she realized the twisting in her stomach had not been nausea. The fingers of her one hand moved tentatively to her abdomen and suddenly stopped when the leather of her jacket suddenly went from smooth to slick and sticky and warm. I will find you, the thought played over and over in her head as the deep darkness that was threatening to take over finally won.
"I knew you'd be great in criminal defense," Will was saying to Cary just outside Diane's office.
He had seen the associate hurrying past and ran to stop him with a bottle of Champagne as congratulations on his win earlier that day. Cary politely made small talk with the named partner despite the fact that he felt like running away to get to Kalinda downstairs.
"Thanks, but it was a team effort," Cary replied. "Alicia and Kalinda were key to us getting the win."
"Yes but you were first chair for a reason and three million dollars later tells me we made the right choice," Will argued. "You have a great future here, Cary. Keep it up."
The pat on his shoulder from Will was the absolute cherry on the top of a cake that was turning out to be one of the best days ever. When the elevator doors closed on Cary he was on a high like he hadn't felt since his days in law school. It felt like his life was finally falling in to place. The career he had always wanted was now on a fast track after years of feeling like he was ramming his head against a brick wall no matter how hard he worked. Then there was Kalinda, who after all this time seemed to finally be opening up to him. She had been an unattainable goal for so long and now, tonight, Cary felt that the door was opened. Their friendship had always meant a lot to him and even though he knew that there was something more bubbling under the surface, he also knew that Kalinda was the type of woman who didn't react well to open advances of a romantic nature. That is why he had kept it on the back burner for so long, careful not to give away too much in fear of scaring her off. Tonight though, there was something different in the air between them, an acknowledgment of sorts; acceptance of the thing that had been growing between them and a surrender to its not going anywhere soon. Did he think that there was a future for them? Cary couldn't say, but he did know that he sure as hell didn't mind finding out.
The distinct eerie stillness of the parking garage felt heavier than usual when Cary stepped off the elevator. His eyes searched the area but didn't find Kalinda. He thought she'd wait for him, but wasn't surprised that she'd gotten a head start. All he had to do now was figure out if she went to her place or his. His hand went to his coat pocket to retrieve his phone so he could call her when his eyes fell on the top of her SUV that was still parked. For some reason a sense of foreboding crept up his spine that he couldn't explain. The parking garage always gave him the creeps but tonight it felt different. Worse. A slight frown had replaced the smile he didn't know he was still wearing as he made his way to her car that slowly came more and more into view.
There were no words to describe the instant feeling of nauseating terror that leapt into Cary's chest at the sight of Kalinda's motionless boot that lay peeking out from the far side of her car. He broke into a run and when he came to the point where she lay, the sight of her beaten body and the bed of blood it rested on made him physically sick. No ears bore witness to the smash of the bottle of Champagne as it struck the cold ground or to the desperate cry for help as Cary knelt to cradle the bloodied body of the woman he didn't know yet that he loved. Kalinda was nowhere near to the parking garage now but from some place far away she could hear the whisper of her name over and over and the familiar embrace of strong arms that had held her once before.