AN: For the record, I have absolutely no political enthusiasm for the figure listed below in control of Russia. His character is for story purposes only. In real life, I feel less than enthused by the man.
Music for this chapter (on repeat): Clocks by Coldplay, Return to Innocence by Enigma, The Russian Lullaby by Lorie Line, Far Away by Nickelback, Have a Little Faith in Me by Jewel
FOURTEEN
o
Jack exited the opposite side of the car and paused briefly, resting his arm on the roof of the car to take in the spectacular sight before him. Peterhof Palace.
Irina inhaled deeply, enjoying the smell of the evergreen trees mixing with the smell of the sea. After being locked up for so long, she never missed the opportunity to stop and smell 'fresh air.'
"This is all yours' too?" Jack asked while they made their way up the steps, still in disbelief of who she really was and what that all meant.
"Mine… and Katya's," She swayed her head to the side, her head mimicking the sway of tones in her voice. "Though, it's mostly open for the public and tourists now. Everyone should be able to enjoy the beauty of this place." She smiled, nodding towards the beautiful fountains and statues lining the steps. "Someone should be enjoying it… I never seem to have the time to."
A man in a dark navy blue business suit appeared at the top of the stairs, an immediate smile gracing his lips, hurrying down the steps to greet Irina, taking hold of arm to guide her up the stairs. "Irina," He smiled and nodded at Jack acknowledging him but also clearly curious, "Why aren't you using the elevator you just had us install?" The man shook his head with a smile.
"I'm pregnant not disabled, Illiyah." She gave him her stern, stubborn glare followed by that seductive smile that made every man who encountered her weak in the knees and fall madly in love with her. The man only laughed in response. "Illiyah, this is, Jack. Jack, this is my fantastic head contractor, Illiyah."
The men acknowledged one another again with nods and curt smiles once they'd reached to top. Walking past several workers washing windows and grounds keepers they entered through the main doors of the palace.
The sharp intake of breath from Irina let Jack know she was just as captivated by the massive foyers stunning beauty as he was.
"It looks incredible, Illiyah, you did a marvelous job." She shook her head slowly with awe.
The man beamed with pride as she began walking around surveying the room. "We are completely finished with the renovations and restoration now; I am so pleased you are happy with it. After so many years of working on it, I am sad to see it end."
"Ah yes, but we still have so much left to do with Pavlovsk, Yelagin, Gatchina, St. Catherine's and of course, finishing Alexander." She smiled and Jack's mouth dropped open slightly to hear she was renovating and restoring all of the Romanov palaces in Russia.
"Yes," he laughed, "We do."
Jack meandered around the room for quite a long time as Irina and Illiyah were in deep conversation looking over plans and talking about fountains, groundwork, and trees for the next two hours with Irina putting her signature on several forms.
When they were finished, Illiyah collected the papers and said, 'Goodbye,' leaving Jack and Irina alone in the large room.
"Sorry that took so long." She brushed her hair nervously behind her ear. "I knew it would be boring for you sitting through all of this… It's why I tried to send you back to the palace." She flashed him a soft apologetic smile.
"I'm not bored in the least." Jack shook his head softly with a smile feeling the same flutter in his heart every time he was able to catch her dark gaze. "I'm in a constant state of awe and wonder, learning more and more about you."
Irina was entirely uncomfortable with what he had said and the way he was looking at her, "Would you like to see my favorite place here?" She asked quickly trying to resist her own urge to grab hold of him and kiss him with the surge of electricity flowing through her from just his gaze into her eyes.
"Of course," Jack smiled eager now to learn whatever it was she wanted to share with him about her life, "Though, I don't know how you could choose a favorite with this entire place being so spectacular."
She walked quietly right beside him down a long foyer towards the enormous glass windows on the opposite end.
*Clocks *
This time it was Jack's turn to inhale sharply taking in the sight before him as he stood on the landing overlooking the endless gardens, and lakes before him, stretching to the Baltic Sea. It was something of a fairy tale come-to-life. This palace had always been compared with that of the French Versailles and now it was more than obvious as to why, for Jack. It was simply breathtaking.
"Peterhof… is called the place of dreams." She whispered, glancing over at him with a shy smile and began leading him down the stairs for a walk through the gardens.
The park had just opened to the public for the day and people started pouring in setting up picnic baskets, reading, jogging, and playing Frisbee. They walked along side by side in a long companionable silence, observing the people who were enjoying their Saturday morning.
"So, what are you dreams?" Jack finally braved asking taking a seat on the bench overlooking the sea. "You said this is the place of dreams." He reminded her of what she had said when she looked at him startled with his question.
"I don't know," she whispered sitting heavily next to him watching the waves crash into the rocky shore with the wind picking up speed. She wrapped her arms protectively around her chest and Jack was mesmerized by the strands of hair now blowing in a delicate dance around her face, looking so beautiful beside him. Irina felt his gaze upon her face and quickly caught the escaping strands and tucked them behind her ear once more.
"In the letter you wrote to me… the poem that was swimming around in your head while you were a prisoner in Kashmir…" Jack whispered quietly staring intently at her and heard Irina's sharp intake of breath at the mention of both the letter and Kashmir, "You said you had a thousand dreams. What are they?"
Her heart was thundering inside her chest to know that Jack and found and read that letter she never intended him to ever see. She remained quiet for a long time trying to control her emotions before she spoke, seeing he was intent on waiting for her to answer. "So many of them have changed now." She spoke quietly refusing to look at him, "Yet the most important ones remain. I wished that you and Sydney would be safe. And you are. At least from the KGB." She thought about what danger they were both still in now working for the CIA. "I wished that one day… we would find each other again." She inhaled a soft sob trying to pull back her feelings.
"And we have." Jack reached up on instinct and brushed the hairs blowing once again in front of her face from the light breeze. She exhaled a shaky breath feeling Jack's fingertips so gently on her face and from his answer. They had found each other again, physically, but not in the way she originally intended.
"Sometimes," She whispered, "I wished for death… others I wished that I would that I would escape or at least find a way to survive in there without losing my mind."
"And you did…" Jack reached for her hand and was relieved when she didn't pull it away.
"Other times I wished that you would realize I wasn't dead, somehow forgive me and find a way to save me." She gasped barely above a whisper refusing to meet his gaze and a single tear slid down her cheek she completely ignored.
"I would-" Jack tried to explain with his heart breaking hearing her whispered truth and also in seeing the tears.
"It's ok, Jack." She interrupted him, knowing there was no way either of them could change the past and not wanting to discuss it further with him. "Many times," she paused for a long moment lost in her thought, "I dreamt of the ways I would kill him…" She didn't have to specific who 'him' was; Jack knew she meant Cuvee but couldn't bring herself to say his name.
"Why did you work with him? After you were released from prison? After the Soviet Union fell? " Jack asked after a moment of silence and thought. He wasn't accusing her; he just wanted to understand her motives.
"I had resigned myself to the fact that I was never going to have my family back and working with him, was a means to an end. I was using him; he was using me…we were both trying to get to the same goal. The only thing I had left in my life."
"Rambaldi?" Jack clarified and Irina nodded. "So, what changed?"
"Sydney." Her smile was so easy and heartfelt, the truth found in such a simple word. They were both quiet for several minutes thinking about their amazing daughter when Irina finally spoke again. "Do you remember… when Sydney was little, and you would come home from a long mission? She was so possessive of you. For those first hours, she wanted you and only you and your undivided attention. She will always be 'your' little girl. You will always he her 'daddy." She smiled thinking of those memories and Jack's heart sped up to hear her recalling yet another memory from their life together.
Jack thought back to the first time, in a long time that Sydney had called him 'Daddy.' It was in that parking garage when he had to save her from the SD-6 assassins, her words still ringing around in his head. 'Daddy? Daddy, you have a gun!' She had been so surprised to see him as she had yet to learn who he really was.
Irina broke his thoughts, "All little girls are like that. It was the same for my father…with letting me join the KGB… and then… when I was moving to the U.S."
Jack could see why that would worry her father. He felt the same way when Sydney had joined SD-6 at nineteen years old. But if he were in Irina's father's situation… and it was his fifteen year old daughter in the KGB and then at just sixteen years old, working as a spy, moving to the enemy country in a time of war to live with and marry the enemy, for years… There was no way Jack could handle that; he knew he'd have a coronary at just the thought. "What happened to your father? I haven't heard you mention what happened to him." He asked softly.
"He died of a heart attack the same day I was officially arrested and put in prison for treason." She spoke steadily, her gaze never leaving the blackened sea in front of them.
Jack felt his heart skip a beat remembering his earlier thought and feeling another crushing weight on his soul that Irina had lost both of her parents because of her refusal to leave he and Sydney. Katya's words from her visit in LA once more ringing through his ears of him not realizing just how 'many lives were destroyed by Irina's mission' in America. Her father was also a casualty.
"Losing my mother… having me shipped off to prison, proved to be too much." She fell silent, her eyes still on the horizon of the sea. "I was able to see him, just after I returned, just before Kashinau brought me in. I had a feeling… on that day I left, that when I said 'goodbye' it would be forever." She blinked back more tears.
"How or when did you find out had passed?" He asked delicately knowing how painful this had to have been for her to lose both parents and knowing in some way, he was also responsible for their deaths.
"It came out in an electroshock torture session. They were using it as a manipulation to break me down. Telling me I murdered my parents. My mother, with my refusal to leave you and Sydney, and my father with the shame of finding out his daughter was nothing but a 'traitorous whore' I believe is what he said."
Jack swallowed the lump in his throat hearing from her own mouth of Cuvee calling her a whore and instantly guilty for calling her the same. He wanted desperately to reach out and hold her and apologize again but unsure of how she'd react in this moment in thinking about Cuvee and seeing the violent tremble run through her. "He's still after you…" He added quietly, nervously after a moment of silence and contemplation, in anxiety over the man looking for her now who still caused her to tremble from just memories more than 20 years later.
"And he won't stop until he finds me, I know." She turned her sad blurry eyes to look deeply into Jack's.
"Then we have to find him first." Jack stated firmly, searching the deep dark pools of her eyes. Not allowing himself to think about the possibility of what would happen if they didn't find him first.
"We need to be going." Irina stood suddenly, drying her eyes and not wanting to discuss this anymore. "I promised Sydney I'd be back this afternoon and it's already getting late. Later than I expected to be home." She started walking away with arms still wrapped tightly around herself and Jack sighed, that yet again, time had run out for them to discuss their own relationship further.
Sydney and Vaughn had enjoyed a late morning in bed and when they'd finally managed to make their way downstairs, Katya had brunch waiting for them as it was almost Noon by the time they'd awoken and emerged looking well rested. They chatted with her for at least an hour, mostly about the palace and renovations and the surrounding grounds.
After eating, they'd decided they wanted to take a walk and explore the outside grounds and gardens; Katya told them that if they got lost, walk in one direction until they hit the perimeter fence and follow it back to the palace. She really didn't think she needed to explain this to them, they were spies after all, but threw the information out there none-the-less remembering her sister's words of keeping an eye out for them.
Jack and Irina had returned just in time to see a laughing Sydney and Vaughn strolling up to the house in the late afternoon, soaking wet and shivering, muddy and covered in sea grass.
"What the hell happened to you two?" Jack asked with a scowl while Irina looked on thoroughly amused and curious and heart pounding in happiness to see such a beautiful smile on her daughter's face in genuine joy and hear her perfect laughter she hadn't heard in far too long.
"We found the lake… and the row-boat. We sort of fell in." Sydney tried to respond seriously but couldn't keep the smile from gracing her lips as she looked nervously at Vaughn, whom Jack was interrogating with his eyes.
"Sort of fell in,' how the hell can you sort of fall in if you're in a rowboat?" Jack narrowed his brows.
Sydney remained silent, not answering the question while Jack's cheeks reddened once more thinking about what her silent answer meant.
"You two are freezing. Get inside before you catch a cold." Irina decided to save the situation and put her hands on Sydney's, and Vaughn's upper arms, rubbing them and guiding them through the front door, all the while Jack continued to glare at Vaughn.
"Oh, stop it, Jack!" Irina whispered over her shoulder as they passed by, "I seem to remember you and I rocking a few boats and capsizing them in our time… And then there was that time you pushed me into the reflecting pool in front of the Lincoln memorial." She narrowed her own eyebrow at him with an enchanting smile that made him weak in the knees to see it again and hear her recalling such memories from their past and crazy passion for each other, "Um-hmm, I see you remember." Her smile widened as he blushed and looked away remembering those moments and not wanting to think of his daughter doing the same.
"Why don't you go upstairs, take a warm shower? Then meet us back down here for dinner, ok?" Irina suggested quietly waving up the stairs with a smile, stepping forward to place a gently kiss to Sydney's temple that lit her daughter's face into a tremendous smile from the loving gesture and lit her eyes with happiness.
"I love you." Sydney whispered back kissing her mother's cheek so happy to be able to tell her that and show her every chance she could now. "Forever and always." She smiled at the look of surprise still in her mother's eyes at hearing Sydney tell her she loved her. She gave her mother an another appreciative glance, took Vaughn by the hand, and headed up the stairs.
They watched them go in silence and when they were no longer in sight, Irina turned back to Jack, she was still smiling with glassy eyes from her exchange with Sydney and Jack's heart melted even more to see how much it truly meant to Irina to hear Sydney tell her she loved her and show her with such moments of intimate affection. He wanted nothing more than to tell her he loved her and take her into this arms in this very moment when they both laughed softly hearing Irina's stomach growl loudly in hunger.
"You need to eat." Jack smiled nodding towards her belly she was caressing with nervous circles. "It's been a long day and I'm sure you're both very hungry."
"We are." She smiled nervously nodding at him to follow her. "Let's find Katya and see if she has dinner started."
Fifteen minutes later, Vaughn and Sydney joined them in dining room just off the kitchen.
Dinner had been filled with talk of the baby, with Jack pulling out the new ultrasound picture for everyone to marvel and Irina filling in Katya in on what was happening with the renovations of the other palaces.
When they were finished eating Irina and Dmitri began clearing the table while Sydney took notice of the numerous photographs on the wall. She was surprised to see herself in many of them, even from the years after her mother had 'died' and wondered how her mother had gotten them.
"Oh my God, Mom, is this you?" Sydney pointed to a black and white photo of an adorable three-year old with ringlets wearing what appeared to be overalls and the traditional navy blue and white-stripped shirt of the Russian navy sailor.
*Return To Innocence*
Jack, Vaughn, and Katya turned their attention to the wall of photographs to see what Sydney was pointing to.
Katya smiled and joined Sydney at the wall. "Ah yes, this is one of my favorite pictures of Rina." Katya traced the outline of her sister's cherubic face as a toddler.
Irina smiled as she continued to clear the table with Dmitri, letting Katya do the narrating of the photos on the wall.
"We were on holiday in Sochi, on the Black Sea. Those dimples and mischievous eyes, she looks exactly like our mother at the same age, see." Katya pointed to another photograph of a little girl in a sailor's dress near the one of Irina. The resemblance was uncanny and Sydney's face lit up at seeing the newly discovered photos of her mother and grandmother.
"You look just like her." Sydney turned to smile as Irina came and stood beside her.
"Yes, but you look how much you look like her here." Irina pointed to a photograph of Anastasia at around eleven years old, looking strikingly similar to how Sydney looked now.
Sydney felt tears coming to her eyes at the first real connection she saw between herself and her grandmother. Sydney continued to scan the photos, seeing several of her mother, grandmother, and Katya that she recognized from the video her mother had made and yet others she'd never seen. "Who's this?" Sydney was transfixed on the fairly recent photograph of an impossibly good-looking guy in his twenties.
"My son Sergei." Katya beamed proudly, before pointing to another photograph nearby. "And this is my daughter Sophia. They are twins."
The Derevko/Romanov traits were easily seen in both children.
"I have cousins? First cousins?" Sydney was shocked, surprised, and thrilled.
"Yes!" Katya's eyes danced with laughter.
"I always wanted cousins." Sydney smiled at Vaughn, knowing he had too as being the only children of parents who were also only children, and then returned her gaze to the wall. "How old are they?"
"Twenty-three almost twenty-four."
"They're beautiful and does he have blue eyes?" Sydney leaned in further to inspect her cousin.
"Yes, he gets those from his father. They actually look more like our Uncle Alexei than anyone else… especially Sophia, she has his eyes." Katya pointed out another photograph of the young Tsarevich Alexei in uniform.
Jack could tell by the look on Sydney's face how much she was enjoying this, learning about her family, and seeing for the first time… she felt like she belonged.
"They will be most excited to meet you. They should arrive tomorrow afternoon." Katya smirked catching the surprised look on her sister's face.
"They're coming?" Irina exhaled breathlessly.
"I felt it was time for them to meet their aunt and cousin." Katya's eyes shimmered with new unshed tears and soft nervous smile.
"You've never met them?" Sydney looked to her mother in surprise.
"No… I've seen them… but I've never met them." She could only observe them from a far as she had to do with Sydney since she and Katya had rarely spoken until recently.
"Sophia was traveling from Milan today to join Sergei and they're both on the same flight from Rome tomorrow. They're thrilled to finally meet you." She smiled at Irina.
"They live in Italy?" Sydney was continuously surprised by this new information.
"Yes, we all do…did," Katya fumbled with how to answer this, unsure of what Irina had told them last night, "Still do. I live here parttime…more so in the last few months helping my sister." She flashed a smile over to Irina trying to alleviate some of the guilt she knew Irina felt by taking her away from her family in order to help Irina manage her business. "My husband, Marcelo, is a trauma surgeon. He is Italian. I met him when I was living there and working as a teenager. He was still in medical school then. We have lived most of our life there with the children. Sergei is in medical school now in Rome and Sophia is modeling in Milan."
"Like her mother." Irina pointed to a beautiful photo of Katya.
"And Sydney like hers." Katya smiled referring to the fact that just as her daughter had followed her into modeling, Irina's daughter followed her into espionage.
"I knew you seemed familiar when I first saw you! You were the Lancôme model!" Sydney's eyes widened with the realization with absolute awe that she'd 'seen' her aunt before in her life, many times, without having any idea who she really was.
"Yes." Katya smiled shyly. "Much to the disappointment of the Soviet Government who wanted me to follow in my sister's footsteps into the KGB. I was the rebel I guess." She shrugged.
"Imagine my surprise when I opened my "Redbook" magazine and saw my little sister staring back at me. My students were in the middle of a final exam when I started squealing with delight. I'm sure they thought I was crazy after that." Irina shook her head and laughed at the memory. "It was just so surreal to see my baby sister all grown up and so beautiful." She paused for a moment remembering and catching Jack's eyes. She was remembering something from their shared past, her teaching during that time, but this time included a detail pertaining to the dual life she was living. Something else she had kept from him and saw the flash of hurt before his eyes at never knowing she'd seen her sister in a magazine. "I'm going to get us some dessert." Irina added after a moment leaving abruptly when Jack continued to stare at her with intense eyes.
Just after Irina left the room, a photo just over Katya's shoulder caught Sydney's eye and she practically lunged past her aunt to get a better view. "Is this who I think it is?" She whipped her head back to look at her aunt. It was a photo of her mother wearing Soviet running clothes standing between two men, Sydney's finger rapidly pointing to the man at the left.
"Ah yes, Vladimir. He was at the Academy with Rina." Katya smiled, "He was always smitten with her…still is."
"Vladimir?" Jack was confused, still pondering what other details of their shared life Irina had never told him about after hearing about Katya and the magazine.
"Putin!" Sydney shouted back shock written all over her face.
"What?" The word had barely left Sydney's lips before Jack had flown out of his chair to see the photo for himself.
"What, 'what?" Irina entered carrying a tray of dessert.
"Have an arrangement with the government,' you said." Jack's ears began to burn red, "That certainly is an understatement. All this time you've been chummy with the Russian President and didn't bother to say anything?" His voice seething with barely held back anger in a low and hostile tone.
"Yes, I know Vladimir." Irina sighed setting the tray carefully on the table. And there it was, Jack's rage and anger towards her she knew couldn't have just disappeared in light of his new found prospective on her.
"Why is it that you only confirm the truth after we happen to stumble upon it?" He seethed with nostrils flared and venom dripping from his voice.
"Jack," Irina spoke calmly trying not to lose her temper in return, "You've been here less then twenty-four hours… I'm sorry if I am not giving you all the answers you want fast enough… but I am trying. If that's not good enough for you… well then, I'm sorry." She bit her bottom lip nervously, folding her arms over her chest, hugging herself in a comforting gesture, before turning to leave the room.
Katya looked away, feeling guilty that she had somehow brought this on. Sydney stared at Jack, her own nostrils flaring, fuming over his outburst at her mother. She sent one lingering nasty glance his way before leaving to find Irina.
"She is trying, Jack," Katya sighed and resumed her seat dishing out the dessert to Jack and Vaughn, who remained silent in his chair. "Yes, my sister is very cryptic at times, but you have remember… the only person she's been able to trust for the last two decades, is herself."
Jack instantly felt guilty for resulting to old habits of jumping down Irina's throat. Had he thought before jumping to conclusions, he would have realized the validity of Irina's words on his own. They hadn't exactly had time to discuss much of anything unless it suddenly came up. "I need to go find her." He moved to leave and Katya grabbed his arm, much the same way Irina had always done.
"Let Sydney have a few minutes with her. She will be ok. Now sit. Eat. I guarantee you've never eaten anything as delectably sweet as this." She dished him a piece of the berry cobbler looking dish.
With a heavy sigh, Jack took a seat and a bite, nodding in agreement with Katya that it was delicious and saddened he had managed to chase both Irina and Sydney away before they, too could enjoy it.
When a several minutes of silence passed, Katya couldn't ignore the urge inside her to say something, to speak up in remembering her conversation with Irina this morning and her fears with Jack, "She loves you, you know?" Katya spoke quietly gaining Jack's full attention and watched him swallow hard at the reminder. "Irina, has always loved you." She added with emphasis on her sister's name, reminding him yet again who it was that always loved him. "She's still getting used to the idea that you could love her, too."
Jack knew what she meant and immediately felt his heart clenching that what haunted Irina was so obvious even to her sister, that Irina needed to know that Jack loved her, not her alias, but her. All of her, as she was and is. To know that he realized they were always the same person and that was why she was so hesitant to believe him.
"I love Irina, Katya." Jack admitted quietly ignoring Vaughn's wide eyes to hear him admit it out loud, even if Vaughn knew it to be true.
"Then why haven't you told her yet?" Katya's eyes sparkled with unshed tears to hear him admit what she felt she knew to be true. "You should tell her, Jack. And soon."
"I've been trying." Jack swallowed the lump in his throat, wishing he'd told her sooner as it was very clear Irina had told her sister exactly what her fears were, sometime between last night and early this morning before they'd left. "There never seems to be a good time for us to talk about any of this."
"Try harder." Katya flashed him a smile with tears falling, reaching out she clasped his hand on the table with a supportive squeeze. "And then tell her again. And again. And again. Until there isn't any doubt left in her heart and soul…who it is exactly that you love and want in your life, Jack. She needs to hear it and feel it to believe it. She no longer trusts her heart after what you told her in LA…about using her as a whore for your revenge in Panama."
"I didn't use her!" He immediately refuted the idea again, wishing to God he'd never ever said that to Irina as it was so deeply ingrained into her being now. His eyes flashing wildly between Katya and Vaughn to see him taking in this new information as well and seeing the flash of disappointment in his eyes at hearing this new detail, "I didn't just use her for revenge. It meant something to me, too." He scrubbed his hand over his face and pushed his unfinished dessert away, "I lied to her in LA. I lied because she'd hurt me by leaving, again and I wanted to hurt her back."
"Well, you succeeded in that." Katya looked down quietly remembering how fragile and broken Irina had been after that horrific conversation. She pushed her own dessert away unable to eat another bite having this conversation.
After a moment of silence, Vaughn stood excusing himself feeling as though this conversation was something he decided he shouldn't be listening to; and the more he heard, the more angry and sad he became on Irina's behalf, something he was surprised to feel with his perception of her ever changing now these days.
"What happened between us in Panama…" Jack began quietly once they were alone again, "That was no lie, Katya. That was us finally being honest with each other… for the first time ever. I knew exactly who I was making love to that night. Irina was the only one I wanted, the only one I needed. The only one I loved." He swallowed hard feeling tears prick his eyes he desperately fought back, "And in being with her, it became abundantly clear, that she was the only one I ever loved…now and then." He choked on his words in admitting this truth. "They merged forever in my heart and soul and mind that night. There was no more Laura…there was only ever Irina." A single tear finally escaped his lashes and he quickly wiped it away.
"Then tell her that!" Katya whisper cried with him, not bothering to hide or wipe her tears. "This is your last chance, Jack. This is it. Don't fight with her…Fight for her!"
"I'm trying!" Jack pleaded. Seeing Katya cry for Irina's broken heart was about as bad as seeing Irina crying.
"I know…but you have to let her know that you love her and think she's worthy to be loved. Irina, not Laura…that she, is the only one, you've ever loved." She cried softly fighting for her sister's love in ways she never imagined, "That you recognize it was always her all along. That Irina was your wife and the love of your life and not just a whore who fooled you." Her eyebrow slanted in clear anger and tone shifted as well in recalling what he'd called Irina. "It's your turn to prove it, Jack. Prove you love, Irina."
"I'm trying." He repeated again with shoulder's slumped realizing yet again, this wasn't going to be as easy as he'd hoped.
"Try harder." Katya commanded him again but with a supportive smile and wiped her tears, "Flying here was a good start. Now tell her and make her feel that love and know it in her soul." She patted his hand before standing and collecting their plates. "I love my sister, Jack. And I know you do, too. You just have to convince her of that. I know she hurt you when she left…both times. But remember that leaving you, hurt her deeply, too." She whispered near his ear, thinking of all her sister endured each time she had to leave him. "She's scared to be hurt anymore." Katya left Jack alone with his thoughts in the dining room.
Sydney found Irina sitting silently in front of a large grand piano, the only object in the enormous room except the soft light of day, flooding the room from the many windows around the room. Sydney hesitated momentarily before walking up beside Irina.
"Is this seat taken?" She asked softly, nodding in the direction of the space next to Irina on the bench.
"No, of course not." Irina gave her a small smile though it didn't quite reach her eyes. She moved to the side and Sydney took a seat.
"Dad shouldn't have yelled at you." She spoke softly.
"It's ok, Sydney."
"No, it's not. He 'is' trying."
"I know." She placed her hand on Sydney's, effectively ending any further conversation on the topic. "It's been a long time… since you and I sat here, like this. I always loved to hear you play the piano."
Sydney's fingers traced lightly over the keys.
"Do you still play?" Irina had been hopeful that her daughter had continued on learning after her departure.
Sydney nodded that she did. "I kept playing because it was a way I could hold onto a part of you… when I thought you died." She added softly.
"The last thing I heard you play, was 'Mary Had A Little Lamb.'" Irina smiled wistfully remembering the six year olds triumphant dance when she first played it from memory.
"Do you… still play?" Sydney asked nervously.
"I did," Irina looked sadly at her hand before returning her gaze to Sydney's just in time to see the fallen look on her daughter's face; that was not what she intended. "I will again." She smiled with determination. "Not to worry, Sweetheart. Now, can I hear you play something? Please?"
"I haven't played in a long time… What should I play?"
"Whatever you want." Irina was eagerly anticipating seeing how far her daughter had come as a pianist.
"I know." Sydney smiled and placed her hands on the keys, "I played this for my Christmas recital when I was ten... because I used to remember you singing it to me when I was little. It's only fitting to play a Russian song now, in this room… with you."
*The Russian Lullaby *
Sydney began to play beautifully, and it instantly brought tears to Irina's eyes as she remembered so many nights she would rock Sydney to sleep humming this very tune.
Unbeknownst to the two women, Jack had come to find them and had been watching them, leaning on the doorway. He'd seen them like this, so many times before, though Sydney was much smaller and her feet barely reached the ground.
When he had shown up at that Christmas recital so many years ago, he had no idea what Sydney was planning on playing. She had told him it would be a surprise. 'Surprise indeed.' Jack thought to himself. Hearing her play the 'The Russian Lullaby,' without knowing that her mother had really been Russian KGB sent chills down Jack's spine in the back of the theatre that night.
Hearing it now, in this room while she sat next to her mother, only brought a smile to his face.
When Sydney finished Irina wrapped her arms around Sydney, tears rolling down both of their cheeks. "Sydney, that was beautiful. Really…it was. You play so beautifully." She couldn't believe how well Sydney had learned to play. Along way from her last memory of Mary Had a Little Lamb. "Ms. Adams did a wonderful job in teaching you to play." She smiled fondly remembering the woman who was so intricately apart of her last memories of her child just before her extraction.
"I can't believe I still remember it." Sydney wiped the tears through laughter. "Dad…" Sydney had seen him in the doorway.
Jack smiled at his daughter. "That was beautiful, Sydney."
Sydney watched her father's eyes shift to her mother as he approached the two.
"I'm sorry, Irina. I didn't mean to you yell at you. I'm sorry." He felt terrible for how he reacted.
"You already said that." Irina smiled back softly, not wanting to argue with him anymore and shifting focus onto something else. "Did you have some dessert?" She stood and stretched her back, keeping her hand on the back of her hip, one hand resting on the top of her belly.
"Yes, it was delicious. You should go have some." Jack was thankful for her understanding and accepting his apology so quickly, but still felt guilty seeing the hurt in her eyes and knowing she forgave him so quickly because she still felt like she deserved his wrath.
"I will tomorrow but right now, I think I need to go to bed. I was up too early this morning and up too late last night. It's been a long day. I'll see you in the morning, Sweetheart. Goodnight." She kissed Sydney lightly on the cheek, "Jack." She acknowledged him with a soft nod before making her way out of the room without another word.
Jack took the seat on the piano bench Irina had just vacated with a heavy sigh.
"What is it?" Sydney watched as her father's brow creased in thought and frustration.
"I need to call Kendall. We have to check in."
"What are you going to tell him?" Sydney was slightly panicked. "You can't tell him where we are!"
"Sydney, I know that. But we need to tell him something and I need to find out what they've uncovered about the other KGB agents and how this is going to affect your mother's status on the CIA list. I'm not going to say anything that would put your mother or sister at risk, believe me."
"How long are we going to be able to stay do you think?" She was hopeful it would be at least a little while; she had waited so long to connect with her mother without the separation of glass.
"I don't know… probably only a couple more days." Jack could see the disappointment on Sydney's face.
"Have you had a chance to talk to her? Really talk to her about everything, I mean?" Sydney asked hesitantly wanting to know where her parent's relationship stood and knowing there was so much they needed to discuss.
"Not nearly enough." Jack sighed realizing how true that was after this last explosion and Katya's chat with him. "We just haven't had the time yet to discuss everything."
"Did you tell her?" She asked him point blank.
"Tell her what?" Jack asked feeling his mouth going dry that his daughter was now being so direct.
"That you love her. That you've always loved her. Even when you hated her." She smiled feeling new tears form in her eyes seeing the surprise in her father's eyes she knew too, exactly how he felt about her mother.
"I tried to tell her…explain last night. She didn't want to hear it." He sighed again. Everyone it seemed, knew exactly how he felt about Irina, except Irina. "She doesn't believe me."
"Why?" Sydney asked confused, "She believes me. That I love her."
"You didn't lie to her." He answered and saw Sydney's brows furrow immediately as to what that meant and was expecting an explanation. "When she came to me that night…in LA," He swallowed hard admitting this to his daughter now, "I lied to her about what happened between us in Panama and what it meant to me. And she believed it…believes it still. Believes the lie, that I just used her that night for revenge… instead of the truth, which is of course, that I love her…that I've always loved her, even when I hated her… I loved her." He admitted softly with a tiny smile to his daughter, repeating what Sydney had stated so clearly, "And that night… meant everything to me, too. She won't believe me now, not matter what I tell her. Your mother believes the lie."
"So, show her." Sydney responded right away with tears in her eyes to hear her father admit to loving her mother and that he always had; and then angry to hear he had lied to her in LA about that night together in Panama, and that was the reason she had let go of them, sending Katya to tell them goodbye. Believing what her father had told her, that so obviously broke her heart so badly she couldn't believe him even now when he was telling her the truth. "I know that both of your hearts were broken, Dad." She sighed wiping at the stray tear that fell and trying to rationalize and remember her father was hurt, too. "Stop hurting each other and just fix it!"
"I'm trying." Jack sighed deeply with a soft smile that seemed to be his go-to answer right now. "And yes, I'll try harder." He added before Sydney could tell him as Katya had, earning a smile from Sydney.
"Good." She smiled kissing his cheek, "I'm going to find Vaughn. Are you going to call Kendall now?" She asked hesitantly.
"I'll wait…call tomorrow." He sighed folding his arms over his chest. It was already late and he didn't feel like having another argument, this time with Kendall.
"Dad," Sydney called to him from the doorway when he sat where he was staring out the windows into the dark night lost in thought and unmoving. "What are you doing?" She asked with a slanted brow that looked just like her mother's. "You didn't fly half-way around the world to sit here, alone, and staring into the dark. Go talk to her!" She smiled trying to usher him along, knowing he was partly afraid of having this conversation with Irina now.
"She said she was going to bed." Jack swallowed the dry lump in his throat.
"Are you really going to let her go to sleep one more night without telling her how you feel?" She admonished him at what a terrible idea that was, "Stop wasting time! Go! Now! Go!" She waved her hand towards the door. "Before she falls asleep. She's waiting for you. I'm sure of it."
"And how can you be so sure… she's waiting for me to come to her?" Jack stood nervously, taking a deep breath.
"Because," Sydney felt another round of tears pricking her eyes with a sad smile, "She's been waiting for you to come find her for the last 22 years." She answered breathlessly thinking about her mother's cries for her father in Kashmir on those films and wanting Jack to be the one to come save her. Her revelation seemed to paralyze her father with the thought as he froze in his movements in realization. "And she's still waiting right now." She raised her one finger to point to the floor above them where her mother's bedroom was located. "Daddy, go fight for your love." She encouraged him again wiping her tears though smiling, "I promise that once you tell her you love her, all the fear inside just fades away." She whispered across the distance having recently experienced this feeling herself. "I love you." Sydney smiled at him, "Good Luck and Goodnight." She offered and disappeared.
Jack took a deep breath and forced his feet to move. If his daughter could find the courage to face her mother and tell her the truth, he could, too. He climbed the steps and knocked cautiously at her bedroom door and waited but there was no response. He was worried now he had waited too long and she was asleep. He tried again, still waiting and no response. He was about to knock again and stopped with hand in the air, afraid to wake her at this point when Katya breezed by behind him on her own way to bed.
"Keep trying." She encouraged him with a smile having seen him knocking and waiting more than once now. "Just go in. She won't bite."
"No, but she might shoot." He countered immediately and Katya laughed softly shaking her head.
"She sleeps with knives, not guns." She winked at him. "Watch out for the stiletto under her pillow."
"Wonderful." Jack wiped his brow; sure he was already sweating and braved whatever weapons may be flung his way. Knocking softly once more as he opened the door cautiously. "Irina?" He called out quietly stepping into her room for the first time. He was relieved to see the lamp by her bed was On, but her bed was empty. The glow of light coming from beneath her bathroom door let him know she was still awake. He sat carefully down on the end of her enormous bed, twice as big as any King, and fingered gently the delicate nightgown she had folded and waiting for her there. His heart was already thundering in his chest as he stared at the bathroom door waiting for her.
Irina had stepped out the bath, reaching for her towel and wrapped it securely around her chest. She smiled that it was barely covered her growing belly and then released her hair from its clip to flow once more over her back. Looking in the mirror, she ran her brush through her long mane to get any tangles out and then swooped it over one shoulder reaching for her lotion. Carefully and quickly she slathered the moisturizing cream over her body and then grabbed her toothbrush to finish out her nightly routine. She paused in her brushing with toothbrush hanging out of her mouth catching her reflection and seeing a flash of that morning in Panama with Jack brushing her teeth right beside him. She closed her eyes and shook her head, willing herself not to think about him or that moment any further. Quickly she finished and threw open the door, not prepared to see Jack sitting on the end of her bed waiting for her. Her breath was stolen in an instant and she gripped more tightly to her towel.
"Jack, what are you doing in here?" She asked watching his eyes scan her body and swallow hard several times as he slowly stood before her.
"We need to talk." He swallowed hard trying to quell the desire just the sight of her in a towel sent through him.
"Jack," Irina gasped shaking her head.
"Please, just hear me out. You can throw me out after if you want," He offered her a small apologetic smile, "But please, just listen to what I have to say." His dark eyes holding fast to her own as a moment of silence passed.
"Can I at least get dressed first?" She asked after a moment of silence, holding her towel more tightly feeling naked and exposed in a way she never imagined standing before him now.
Jack reached over carefully picking up her nightgown and passing it to her. The electricity from just their fingers brushing was threatening to undo him. "Turn around, Jack." She motioned him with her finger turning in the air when he remained steadfast staring at her before him unmoving.
Jack gulped and turned with a deep breath, "I've seen you naked nearly every day for 11 years…it never bothered you to change in front of me before." He swallowed hard again with the flashes of her changing her clothes before him on the train in India and in Bangkok and then again in Panama.
"Things are different now." Irina answered him quietly dropping her towel behind his back slipping into the gorgeous black nightgown that clung to her every curve. "I wouldn't want to be accused of using myself as a whore again." She gasped brushing past him to hang her towel on its hook in the bathroom.
"Irina," Jack's shoulders fell immediately to hear her recall exactly what he said to her in LA about their night in Panama. "I never thought of you as a whore."
"Yes, you did." She countered immediately with clear hurt, anger, and acceptance in her voice, coming back to stand defiantly before him in the bedroom. Her arms crossed defensively over her chest and resting on her baby belly.
"Can you come sit down, please?" Jack asked quietly motioning her towards the end of the bed. The sight of her in this black satin nightgown was almost worse than the towel.
"I'm tired, Jack." She sighed doing as he wished and sat on the end of her bed with impatient eyes and posture.
"I will make this fast. Promise." He gave her another smile pacing a few steps before her and drawn to watching her soothe herself and the baby by running circles over her satiny covered belly.
"I lied to you, that night you came to me in LA." He repeated what he had said last night hoping she'd hear him this time and caught her fiery dark gaze immediately seeing the storm already brewing in her eyes from recalling that conversation, "I wanted to hurt you…like you had hurt me by leaving yet again."
"Well, you did, Jack. Is that what you wanted to know? Does this make us even now?" She asked making a move to stand and Jack moved quickly in front of her, kneeling before her and reaching for her wrist once more, holding her still but far more gently this time.
"Please, just listen." He begged her knowing he had hurt her deeply seeing it in her eyes now and the glassy tears she was desperately trying to keep in. "Please?" He begged her and she nodded softly she would stay and let Jack continue to hold her wrist as he kneeled before her.
"I'm sorry I hurt you that night. I'm sorry I didn't shut up and listen." He swallowed hard, "And I'm sorry I lied to you, Irina." He held her gaze and wouldn't let her retreat now using her first name and seeing already what effect it had on her to know he was speaking to 'her.' "What happened between us in Panama…" Jack began quietly with tears beginning to pool in his own eyes, "Wasn't a lie or a manipulation. I knew exactly who I was making love to that night." His thumb ran furious circles over the back of her hand, "You were the only one I wanted, the only one I needed. The only one I love." He swallowed hard feeling his tears starting to pool in his eyes and seeing hers' doing the same. "Being with you that night, it became abundantly clear to me, that you were the only one I ever loved…then and before." He choked on his words in admitting this truth to her. "The images and memories of you… past and present…merged forever in my heart and soul and mind that night. There was no more Laura…there was only ever Irina." He blinked in a whisper and tears finally spilled forth from both their eyes and he reached up to brush her tears away, cupping her face and holding intently to her gaze.
"Jack," She gasped with a cry as he held her face gently.
"Shhh," He smiled silencing her with a chaste kiss. "I'm talking." He brushed his nose with hers and pulled back once more to stare into her eyes. "I love you, Irina. I love you." He cried in barely above a whisper hearing her instant gasp that he finally said her name when he said 'I love you' and meant it. "You' are my match. My equal in every way. The one I want and the one I need. Being with you in Panama was…coming home. Home to my soul and the only one who ever had my heart." She cried and inhaled her sob trying to control her emotions and looked down at where her hand was resting on her belly and his holding her there, "I'm so sorry I hurt you. For what I said and what I made you feel." He continued to apologize trying to get her to look at him again, "I love you, Irina." He repeated remembering what Katya had said about saying it and saying again and again until she believed it. He finally caught her gaze once more, "Panama was the most beautiful night of my life. I finally had my wife back. The love of my life. You were all I wanted and all I needed. You were everything and I finally felt whole again." He cried quietly hoping she could see the truth of his words in his eyes now so close to her own with faces now just inches apart, "Our baby," He finally reached out and held her belly gently in his hands and felt his daughter kicking for the first time, "Was created in absolute…pure love." He gasped with a smile feeling her kicking inside even harder with Irina's heart racing; he dropped a kiss to her belly while Irina cried and grasp the back of Jack's head softly as he kissed her belly again and then reached up to cup her face with both hands, "I love you, Irina." He repeated staring intently into her eyes before dropping his head to capture her lips.
*Far Away
His hands immediately threading into Irina's hair to hold her to him and everything in the world stood still again as it had that night in Panama.
The only sound was the loud thump of two hearts suddenly in-sync with each other once more; sending shockwaves through their bodies calling out to each others souls with each beat.
Her tongue met his with the lightest of touches that sent a currant through them both with jarring velocity and jolted them both into anxious fury of wanting more, now and as quickly as they could having had this need to be one once more and denying it for too long.
Irina's hand snaking up Jack's back and running through his hair pulling him closer as his tongue swept past her lips and through her mouth, caressing and gentle as it was fierce, and she felt the tears flood her eyes once more with the kiss of the only man she ever loved.
Jack lay her back gently down on the bed, "I love you, Irina." He kissed her again. Laying on top her and pinning her to the bed with his weight pressing into her now pregnant belly cocooning their baby between them and confessing what he neglected to tell her in Panama and knew now, that he meant with every fiber of his being in having lost her again just after that incredible night. "I love you, Irina. I love you." He whispered repeating himself and staring into her dark pools, instantly glistening with new tears at hearing him say that to her again and again, "And I need you...just as much as I did that night." He stared down at her, looking deeply into her swimming depths and seeing the same love and longing reflected back at him, just as she'd shown to him in Panama.
Hot tongues collided in simultaneous brushes mimicking a dance long remembered and the burning tears fell from under her eyelashes feeling safe again surrounded by his arms. Jack rolled them fearing he'd crush their baby beneath him and pulled Irina on top of his chest. She sat up and grabbed frantically at the sides of his shirt, ripping it off over his head, needing to feel his skin on hers as quickly as possible having missed him so much and leaned over, kissing him deeply again.
He gasped into her mouth when her knuckles brushed against the skin of his lower abdomen when he propped himself up slightly and she set to work undoing his belt.
His mouth left her lips to fully sit up underneath her and began a frantic trail of kisses across her jaw and down her neck, down the center of her chest and across the swell of each breast still hidden behind her nightgown, wanting to devour as much as he could all at once. His hands working as quickly as hers to relieve her of her nightgown as fast as possible. Looking deeply into Jack's dark eyes, Irina slowly began to lift the nightgown over her head and threw it off to the side. His eyes clouded over with lust at looking at her beautiful naked form hovering above him, her swollen breasts tantalizing. Her perfectly sculpted pregnant body, scars and all, was the most beautiful and erotic thing he had ever seen and he felt pride surging through him at the thought that he had some part in sculpting her this way… his baby growing inside her.
"You're the most gorgeous thing I have ever seen." He whispered feeling a renewed set of tears flushing his own eyes looking at her straddling his body and sitting in his lap. "God, I love you." He smiled in awe knowing how true that was now. She immediately met his dark eyes again and leaned up, capturing his swollen lips once more and letting out of soft cry when their naked chests came in full contact for the first time and her naked baby belly pressing into his.
The ache inside her raged with flames when Irina felt his hardness brush against her naked center hovering above it through his pants and Jack groaned the moment Irina's fingers slid over his slick head already wet with desire and knew he couldn't wait much longer to be buried inside her again. His body and blood were literally calling to him, demanding to be one with her once more. Jack rolled them again moving more towards the center of the bed, realizing he still had too many clothes on and rapidly pushed both his pants and boxers down his body as fast as possible, kicking them off with urgency to settle between her legs looking down at her. "God, you're so beautiful, Irina." He gasped in awe taking in her gorgeous pregnant form laid out before him and new tears flushed his eyes. "I love you. Never doubt that."
Irina wanted him now. All that mattered was feeling him inside her again so in love with the man before her now. "And I love you, Jack…" She confessed her own heart's long held secret, "I… have always loved you." She cried letting him see it in her eyes that it was always 'Irina' who had loved him and she was speaking the truth, "Make love to me, please?" She pleaded in a demanding whisper sending a thunderbolt of desire and love straight through his heart. Fresh tears flooded her eyes as she gazed into his and saw the same love she had for him reflected back at her just as it was in Panama.
He lifted her hips a little aligning himself at her already dripping entrance and nudged into her a slightly; her leg immediately closing around his hip and nodding so softly most would miss but Jack thrust fast and hard, claiming her all over again in one moment. Irina gasped and cried, her tears rolling endlessly down her cheeks with eyes closed and bodies fused. Jack carefully leaned forward and slid his hands behind her back, lifting her upright against him. Her legs wrapping around his hips holding him tightly to her, her arms encircling his neck and his around her middle cocooning their baby between them. Foreheads resting against each other and completely connected again: perfectly still as time froze in the moment, relishing in being 'home.'
Jack couldn't help feeling the overwhelming tidal wave of sensations and emotions at be enveloped in her heat again…always a perfect fit, the only perfect fit. "God, I have missed you." He whispered against her ear and kissed her gently, then started their slow dance of making love, pulling out slowly to savor every inch and then thrusting hard back into her heat.
Irina's muscles quaked and gripped wildly at him, recognizing, remembering. It wasn't long until both were racing towards the cliff of ecstasy and Irina flew to the stars with Jack right behind her, crying out to her in a chant of worship and bliss nuzzling into her neck, "Irina, Irina, Irina…" Leaving no further doubt exactly who it was he was making love to and the one he loved and adored.
Hours later after making love several more times, they collapsed beside each other after, falling asleep with legs entwined and bodies nestled together. Jack was facing Irina and both pairs of their arms and hands cradling and palming her baby belly between them and their love child within. For the first time in a long time, they both fell asleep with happy tears in their eyes and smiles on their faces.
Jack awoke in the morning to find the sheets next to him cold. Sweeping his hand across the area next to him with his eyes still closed, he instantly realized that Irina was gone. Panicked at the thought, his eyes flew open and he sat straight up in bed. "Irina," He called out, his eyes searching the large room. "Irina!" He called out again louder, feeling the panic rising and praying she wouldn't have disappeared again, not now.
*Have A Little Faith In Me*
Just as he was about to jump out of bed the bathroom door on the far side of the room opened and Irina stepped into view.
"Yes?" She asked having heard him call her name, walking towards him, still trying to fasten her earring to her ear. She smiled at Jack as he sighed in relief and then smiled as he took in her appearance. "What?" She asked when he remained silently staring at her.
She was wearing only a bra and jeans that were cut low and hung just above her slender hips. He hadn't seen her wearing jeans in a long time and she was still just as sexy as ever in them now.
"Nothing." Jack smiled, scanning her body and then resting on her face. "I just woke up and didn't know where you were… that's all." He reached his hand out to her and she sat on the edge of the bed.
Irina could see in his face the real reason he was upset… he thought she'd left again. "I didn't want to wake you." She smiled, choosing to ignore the real reason for his panic, and brushed the backs of her curled fingers over his cheek. "I know you must be exhausted from lack of sleep." She smiled softly thinking about the fact he hadn't slept at all the previous night or much of last night at all. He pulled her to him for a long sweet kiss, running his fingers through her hair and up and down the flesh of her bare back. "Mmmm." She rubbed her nose against his before pulling back. "That's nice." She smiled.
"I love you, Irina." He vowed to himself tell her every day for the rest of her life. "I love you."
"It's good to know you don't feel differently about me in the morning." She teased nervously, stroking the length of his arm with her hand and coming to rest on his chest she looked sincerely into his tired eyes. "It's still early, Jack… you should go back to sleep for a while."
"Why are you up so early? You've had the same amount of sleep and you were already exhausted last night before I came into your room. Why don't you crawl back in here beside me?" Jack raised his eyebrows suggestively and tugged on Irina's arm causing her to laugh. She pulled herself off the bed and stood in front of him, Jack still holding onto her arm gently.
"Oh yes…" She laughed, "Like we'd actually get any sleep in, Jack. I have a few conference calls I need to make this morning so I can spend the day here with you and Sydney and the twins when they arrive." She looked away nervously, still unsure about what had happened last night and what would happen now in the daylight hours. She ran her free hand over her belly, something new she'd taken on to comfort herself and the baby.
Jack's eyes drifted to her bare stomach and fell upon the scar roughly ¾ of an inch wide and six inches long. His fingers reached out to lightly trace the mark he made across her flesh. His smile faded at the thought that he scarred her for life and almost killed her and their unborn child. His eyes drifted back up to Irina's revealing the sadness and regret for his actions. "I'm sorry." He looked deeply into her dark pools trying to convey his true remorse.
"It's alright." Irina spoke softly, wanting to avoid this discussion and the reminder of Jack's attempt to kill her. "I know you thought I had hurt Sydney." She tried to pull back from him but Jack held firmly to her arm.
"No… it's not alright. I made a mistake…one that almost cost you your life…twice actually, framing you for Madagascar-"
"Jack," Irina interrupted and pulled her hand out of his grasp, "Let's not talk about this now. We've both made mistakes."
"Yes," Jack leaned forward and recaptured her hand, refusing to let her go. "But most of them have been made because of our lack of communication and re-acting on impulses. It's not healthy for either of us … So, I'm trying to change that poor behavior. I won't let you brush off what I did as nothing. I know I hurt you, I can see it in your eyes every time it's mentioned." He stood and cupped her face with his hand forcing her to look at him. "And I want you to know that I am truly sorry. I didn't know. It's not an excuse, just an explanation. I hope you can see that."
Irina leaned in and kissed him, leaving him breathless, before pulling out of his arms. "I know, Jack." She smiled and turned back towards the bathroom.
'The 'kiss and run,' Jack shook his head and dropped back onto the bed. A maneuver she'd perfected during their marriage to avoid answering questions or subjects she wasn't comfortable with. Some habits were going to be hard to break. He could see her uncertainty and the inner turmoil raging inside her, struggling to understand and trust in anything he was saying that had to do with their relationship. To allow herself to believe it could work out, not just today or tomorrow but in the long run… for the rest of their lives. Working through it all, was going to take time. He wasn't foolish enough to think that all their problems would just suddenly go away now that some truth had been shared between them. It was going to take a lot of work on both their parts. They just had to allow each other that time, to work through it. 'One step at a time.'
Irina closed the door to the bathroom and silently cursed herself for pulling the 'kiss and run'' move on Jack again.
What really upset her was how scared she was about letting herself believe in having a 'real' relationship with him… with her family again after all this time and all the heartache they shared. She was afraid to let herself hope that 'this time' it would all work out.
She calmed herself and strode back into the bedroom with an air of confidence. Ignoring Jack, who was following her movements without saying a word, she opened her closet and plucked a white formfitting V-neck t-shirt from its hanger.
Without turning around, she pulled the shirt over her head and over her belly, which it didn't quite cover but left just enough skin exposed to be sexy. She smiled to herself feeling Jack's gaze on her as she finished getting dressed, enjoying the fact that she held his attention.
"Get showered and dressed and I'll meet you downstairs in about an hour." She took one last look at him, smiling at how cute he looked with his hair all ruffled sitting in her bed in a tangle of sheets.
Jack sprang out of bed as soon as the door closed behind her and suddenly realized he left his bag in the other room. He grabbed a sheet and wrapped it around his waist, hopping that he wouldn't run into anyone on his way down the long hall.
Just when he thought he'd made it, he threw open the door to the room only to realize it was not the same one Irina had assigned to him. He stepped back into the hallway, looking from side to side trying to remember what door it was. He hadn't been paying attention to anything besides her that first night when she was showing him to his room and now he couldn't remember where his clothes were. He tried the next door down but that wasn't the room either. Flustered that he was left 'exposed' and mad at himself for not paying better attention to detail, he started pulling open every door on the way back to Irina's room at the beginning of the hallway.
"Daddy!" Sydney immediately bolted upright in bed when she heard the big door open and saw her father standing there clutching a bed sheet around his waist.
Jack stood paralyzed, in shock at the sight of his daughter in bed with Vaughn, who had visible scratch marks across his back. Awakened by the commotion, Vaughn sat up and stared at Jack as well.
"What are you doing?" Sydney asked turning red with embarrassment and bringing Jack out of his state of shock to realize he was standing in the doorway to their room wearing little to nothing as well. His shade of embarrassment began to match that of Sydney's when he felt another's presence behind him.
"Yes, Jack, what are you doing?" Katya laughed as Jack's shocked face looked from his daughter still in bed with her boyfriend to Katya and then at the bed sheet around his body.
"Sorry," He glanced back up to Sydney and Vaughn, "I… just… wrong room. Sorry." He mumbled. "There are so many rooms in this damn house!" He felt the anger rising at his embarrassment.
"Jack, what are you looking for?" Katya goaded him.
"My room! I need a god-damn map to find it!" He pulled the sheet a little higher on his torso.
"You mean you don't remember?" Katya flashed her smiling eyes at him, pleased to see his current state and hoping that meant things had finally gone well with her sister and the frazzled looking man before her.
"No!" He gave her a sharp look knowing all too well that this Derevko woman was just as infuriating as the other.
"Light blue… I think." He spat out, unwilling to look at anything but the ground.
Katya was having a hard time trying not to burst out laughing. "Five doors down." She smiled leaning against the doorframe. "And Jack, make sure you take that sheet back to Rina's room." She smiled and finally lost it, laughing at the surprised looks on Sydney's, and Vaughn's faces, while Jack changed at least ten shades of red. Moving her head to pointedly look at Jack's back and graze the marks with her fingers, "She's an animal…like mother like daughter, I guess." She laughed looking back towards
Sydney and Vaughn, who were slightly confused by the comment, not seeing what Katya was talking about.
Jack turned around to glare at Katya, leaving his back and Irina's scratch marks visible to a horrified Sydney and Vaughn. Sydney stared at him open mouthed while Vaughn froze and Jack pushed his way past Katya and down the hall.
"He's such an easy target." Katya laughed. "You two should go back to sleep… it's much too early to get up. I know you 'must' be tired." She winked and left, closing the door behind her.
"Yeah… she's right." Sydney shook her head, before laying it back down on her pillow. "Maybe when I wake up, that image and the mental picture I'm getting of my parents will be nothing but a bad dream… nightmare really." She smiled with a deep giggle. Inside, she was secretly thrilled for what this meant for her parents figuring out their own complicated relationship.
"Syd, I think he's just as mortified seeing you in bed with me." Vaughn smiled and threw his arm across her stomach as they snuggled into each other again. "Like mother like daughter." He chuckled and she punched him in the arm, "Owe!" He rubbed his arm and pulled her on top of him so she was lying on his chest, smiling intently at her before closing the distance with a heated kiss.