Dear Reader,

Um...I kinda forgot what happened in this chapter...* scrolls down and reads the entire thing* okay. so Winry pouts about being snubbed, and Envy gets bitched at by Lust. Then Sloth does her whole " mommy" speech and becasue Envy's been having his new " feeling" he kinda sorta excepts her as his mother. But he never admits this, I just kinda blanket swept that in there. Oh, and there's this freaky scene where Envy changes into his actual form, which is in episode 50 something. And he starts to cut his face. Ya...It's gross. But he's upset...And emo!

- Ramona F.

Aftermath

Winry replayed what had happened with her and Envy only a few short hours ago over and over in her mind.

And she still didn't understand what had happened.

One minute he has been kissing her...And god had it been amazing. She still tingled from the memory. The pit in her stomach rekindled and came alive with emotions as she recalled the way his lips moved on hers perfectly, how his arms felt around her. Envy had made her feel so safe, so protected.

" Don't you understand. I don't like you. What, did you think that kiss meant something?..."

His words stung her physically, leaving her seething in actual pain. She felt like she had been burned and laid out in a tub of lemon juice.

When she had told Lust about it ( though tears) the usually calm sin had been pissed. Immediately all of her fingers had turned to knives. Winry had to beg her not to do anything, saying it was her fault for letting him do it in the first place.

After that, Winry was whisked off with Dante, out of the ghost city and away from the mansion which she had called home...And back to the real world. She soon found herself on a nearly empty train. The heat had almost been unbearable, and the strange sickness that had come onto her a few hours ago was nothing to the dull ache of her art.

She sat now, slumped against the window, staring out into the night, desperately trying to make out shapes in the darkness. She had no idea where they where going, and didn't really care. Nothing really mattered to her right them.

Not even the bitter fact that on her way through Central, on her way to the train station, she easily could have made her escape. She felt like it had been a test, and she realized it had been now. But Winry didn't really care. After being with them for so long, she could hardly recall what life " up top" had been like. Only the little ache from missing her automail work and Ponako was still imbedded inside her. But that was it.

Now she sat on a train, heading to god knows where, with possibly the quietest person alive.

It was strange, seeing Dante in " street clothes". A simple black sundress with purple flowers, coming to her knee. It didn't seem...Right. The woman should be dressed lavishly in heavy skirts and furs. Not peasant clothes. And even the way she held herself was different. She walked along side Winry, not in front of her, and she dropped some of her gracefulness. Offering a trip or two during her steps. Dante put on a mask of humanity when around others. And Winry couldn't get over how ironic it was.

Dante accused the humunculie of having no souls, and she was the most lifeless creature Winry had even encountered. Even Gluttony had more of a personality than her.

Winry pouted to herself.

She missed her new family.

She wondered what they where doing.

She looked over at Dante, who was still calmly reading a book. She wished she had brought something along to pass the time. Anything would have been better than this. Her eyes widened and she reached into her pocket. She smiled down at the small stone flower she held between her fingers.

It was beautiful. She smiled, remembering the look on Wrath's face when he gave it to her. So cute. He had given it to her just before she had left the underground city, he had been panting from running after them. She had just gotten out of the car ( Dante had a old, expensive looking car she used for crossing the city to the other side, where the exit was, and they had been driven by Lust) She guessed he had run all the way. He gave her the flower, and told her he wanted her to have it, just in case anything happened. His words chilled her and touched her. Wrath was such an impossibly sweet child, she couldn't help but love him.

She put the flower back into her pocket, and stared out the window.

Envy stared up at his dark ceiling.

His sheets still smelt like her. And he closed his eyes momentarily to inhale the sweet scent rising off of his velvet covers.

He still couldn't believe himself. He not only had kissed her, but he had managed to cut open her tongue with his teeth. He could still taste her on his tongue, and the burning want rose up into his throat once more.

He growled in the darkness like an animal.

A month ago this wouldn't have even bothered him.

But a month ago Envy wasn't infatuated with a lowly human.

His thoughts where stalled as Lust barged into his room, having returned from driving Dante and Winry to the exit, no doubt. He could tell by her expression she was pissed. Winry had probably blabbed to her. He had heard her sobs before she had left. They had each hit him like nails. Every single one of them.

" What the hell? Don't you knock?" He snapped.

She pointed a long claw at him.

" Couldn't keep your tongue in your mouth, could you?" She hissed

He propped himself up on his elbow and smiled darkly at her.

" Jealous are we?"

She let out a sharp hiss, and Envy grunted as her index finger pierced through the skin of his left shoulder, slowly making it's way through, and coming out in a bloody mess on the other side. He swore under his breath. " Sorry, your not my type." He choked.

" Do you have any idea what you did to her?" She growled.

Envy glared at her.

" Why do you even care!" He snapped.

Truly, the attachment Lust had formed with the girl was grating on his nerves. It was one thing for Sloth to be acting like a lunatic, but Lust? Now the whole world was flipping upside down.

" Don't turn this on me!"

Her finger twisted, and he cried out, despite his smile.

" Tell me why Envy."

He looked into her blood red eyes and smiled even wider.

" No."

Now was defiantly not the time to be messing with her, but he couldn't help himself.

All of her fingers turned to long daggers, and pierced through him without remorse.

" Still not telling." he grunted.

She picked him up easily off his bed and held him up in her air. She made her other hand into a claw, and rubbed her fingers together absently, in anticipation. The sound was more than infuriating, and Envy squeezed his eyes shut.

" Why did you kiss her?"

His eyes snapped open and he was suddenly staring at her through red.

" It was just a test! I don't actually have any feelings for the child!"

He prayed his lie sounded convincing.

She instantly dropped him and he fell to the floor with a sickening thud. His wounds instantly healed, but that didn't stop the pain. The blood pooled around his feet as he stood, and he winced slightly.

" Damn it Lust, why the hell did yo-"

" I thought you had changed..."

He looked up to see she was staring down at the ground through tear filled eyes. Her expression was distant, and her shoulders shook with both anger, and emotion. After a moment, she turned her attention back up to him and her expression was unreadable.

" I thought you had changed like the rest of us."

Envy knew exactly what she meant.

But he wasn't about to admit she was right.

Her face suddenly tuned back to normal, if only a little bit more hostile, and she looked down at him. Her dark lips where in a scowl, and her eyes turned into red slits.

" But no. Your still an ass."

He didn't see her move. In a moment he was on his back, pinned down on his bed. Lust's claws where extended and digging into his chest, while her knee was in between his legs, painfully pressing into his groin. Her dark hair fell onto his face, and her large breasts and ouroboros tattoo where staring at him. His violet eyes met crimson.

" Don't mess with her. She isn't your new toy."

He let out a snicker and gave her his biggest, toothy grin he could muster.

" Don't get your panties in a twist. Sloppy seconds aren't my style."

She pressed her fingers in deeper before retracting completely and sashaying out of his room, not even bothering to shut the door behind her.

Envy didn't move, only lay back into his sheets, turning his face slightly so he could smell for Winry. He closed his eyes.

Instead of darkness he saw her face. She was sleeping, and cuddled against one of his pillows, her body bare under the sheets. He was lying beside her, naked as well. He brushed a piece of her hair from her face, and marveled at it's silky texture, before leaning down and kissing her forehead.

This was all Envy had now.

His day dreams.

He opened his eyes and felt a burning bubbling up into his throat, and his eyes where stinging. He held back a scream as he buried his head into his sheets, and his shoulders shuddered slightly. He bit onto his sheets and screamed.

A hand rubbed his shuddering back.

He stiffened, and flipped over to see Sloth sitting beside him, smiling softly. Her expression was kind, and her eyes where pools of empathy. Envy hissed. He didn't need her pity, and he didn't want her seeing him in this state. Crying like a damned human.

" Fuck off." he growled into his bed.

She sighed and looked down at her gloved hands on his back, but didn't move them away.

" You know...She does care for you."

He sat up and scowled at her through puffy red eyes.

" Who?"

Sloth looked up and met his eyes. She smiled a wider smile, warmer this time.

" Winry, of coarse."

His body responded to the name. Tingles went up and down his spine, and he felt warmth prickle at his cheeks. He gulped and gritted his teeth.

" I...Can't be with her. I-I'm not...I'm a monster." He looked down at his hands.

They where shaking.

Envy didn't know why, but it felt good to release these feelings. He could never tell Lust about his pining for the girl. She wouldn't understand. She would only see it as...Lust. Would only see him as a disgusting man. But Sloth...Sloth saw him like a child. And he felt like she would understand. Maybe she could offer him some sort of motherly advice.

" Winry doesn't think that."

He looked up from his hands. " How do you know that?" He asked a bit too eagerly.

Sloth smiled, and put a hand to her chest, closing her eyes.

" Before Winry came here, I felt...Lost. I had feelings that I had been told by our Master to repress. Feelings like compassion for example. I became an empty shell who believed that I was nothing but a pool of hatred and resentment for humanity. But I had these feelings stirring inside of me..These motherly feelings from memories which where not mine. And when she came...It was like a damn had been broken. And You and wrath..." She looked up at him, and tenderly patted his long hair. She held all the compassion only a mother would in her tender caresses, and Envy couldn't move. He had never had a mother. He had sought for one in Dante, only to have her reject him. So this sort of affection...Was startling to him. He had never thought he would find it in someone such as Sloth.

"I see you two as them."

When she said them, she meant Edward and Alphonse.

Envy felt a cold stinging in his throat.

He had once again been compared to that bastard. First by Winry, and now their failed attempt of a mother. He normally would have been pissed. He didn't think of himself to be anything like his stupid half brothers. They where soft, and human. But, he supposed. He had once been human as well...But he hardly remembered it. Only small flashed of a life that wasn't his. And a burning hatred for the man who had brought him back.

" I don't understand.." he shook his head.

" That's just how I feel Envy...And I know when Winry looks at us, she doesn't see monsters. She sees us as human beings." Sloth said firmly.

Envy looked at his hands for a moment. Then back up at the woman.

" But are we ready to be human?"

He had lived for so long as this...Thing. This sad excuse for a human shell. He had killed millions, and had enjoyed it. Heck, he still did. Envy would never really change, but he realized these emotions he was feeling couldn't be held back. He had been repressing them for decades.

Was he really ready to let them out?

He had only ever felt jealously and hatred.

Never compassion and love.

But he could feel them swirling inside of him somewhere, could feel them bubbling up on his surface, ready to break through at any moment.

He could change. He knew it.

But did he want to?

Would he really put all of his demons away?

" She cares for you Envy, or she wouldn't have kissed you back."

Envy found himself blushing as he looked up at Sloth, who was giving him a knowing smile.

" How did you...?"

She winked, " I have my ways."

Envy found himself in a pit of embarrassment as he turned the color of a tomato.

" But you said some awful things to her. What ever where you thinking?" she scolded softly.

He sighed and put his face in his hands.

" I don't know! I just...She was bleeding and I...I couldn't stand it."

Her hand went on his shoulder again, but he didn't stiffen.

" It wasn't your fault."

He scowled at her.

" Of coarse it was my fault! I got too carried away...I lost myself."

" But why didn't you just apologize? Why act?"

" I thought that if I...If I made her hate me then-"

" Then she would stay away?" Sloth finished for him.

He looked up into her sad blue eyes and he gritted his teeth.

" And she will. I have to stay away from her Sloth. It would never...Work out. She's supposed to be with Fullmetal. Not me. She could never...Love me." His voice quieted on his last statement.

" Do you love her, Envy?"

He didn't answer. He only stared down at his shaking hands.

Sloth closed her eyes and stood, then quietly left the room, Leaving him to his new found sorrow.

It was better this way, he told himself.

Envy felt that same crushing feeling as before, and gripped at his chest. He gritted his teeth in anguish and screamed at the top of his lungs. He stood quickly and went to the bathroom, using his speed.

He stared at his reflection. At his fake self.

He let the white light go down him slowly, and stared back at his reflection again.

His true form.

Hohenhiem's face stared at him with his scowling expression. When he blinked, so did the person looking at him. When he reached for the knife in the drawer, so did the tall, tan eighteen year old boy. He looked back at himself, holding the knife only inches from his face.

He took a deep breath.

He didn't cry out, only stared as he dug the knife into his cheek, and slowly ripped through the frail skin. He dragged the blade across his face and watched his red blood flow down his bronze skin.

He hated his damned face.

Once his cutting was finished, he stared at himself once more.

Golden eyes burned through a mask of thick, red blood.

He couldn't stop the white light from healing him, and he hissed at his reflection.

" I hate you..." a deep, masculine voice hissed through his lips.

" Is that what you really look like?"

Winry's words rang in his head as he stared at himself. He wondered what she would do if she saw him now. Would she know it was him at all? He highly doubted that. His preferred form and his true form where completely different. Envy wondered if she would be more attracted to him then, if she saw him like this. He did look like Edward. The resemblance was sickening. What with his tan skin, golden hair, and eyes. But Envy didn't feel...Like himself. He ran a hand through his tangled mass of golden hair, and then looked down at his large hands. They where more masculine than his preferred forms. Bigger even. He was much taller now, and not as fit as he had been. But he could see the large muscles in his arms when he flexed. He felt like...A man. He even had some stubble on his squared off chin.

Envy looked like a human.

Every inch of him reeked of humanity.

" I-is this it?" Winry asked, pointing at what she was referring to.

After sitting for hours on the boring train ride with Dante ( which continued on in silence) Winry had been forced to carry not only her suit case, but Dante's as well! Not to mention is was about ten times heavier than her own. Then they had to walk down some dark dirt path, in the middle of nowhere.

The train had taken them to a small town Winry couldn't find the name of, and Dante's summer home was unfortunately not in the sleepy little town, but up a very steep hill. From the station, it took about an hour to get their by foot. And as Winry wheezed up the path, Dante walking briskly ahead of her with a vigor she had never seen before, Winry doubted she had ever walked so much in all her life!

So when Dante had said " We're here." Winry had suspected to see a dark, spooky castle or something. Dark and spooky just seemed to fit with Dante's ice queen look.

But the beautiful mansion before Winry's eyes was anything but dark, or spooky.

It was in fact, quite humble, considering Dante's usual tastes.

It had a large, wrap around porch and white columns, that matched the rest of the cream colored paint. Ivy spilled over one side of the house like a lovely birthmark, and a wild rose bush grew under the wild wines. It was two stories, and every window had flowers growing beneath them. It held an old timely charm that Winry had never guessed the woman possessed, and the trees surrounding the place made it all the more quaint. Winry smiled as the setting sun hit the house and illuminated it's windows, giving it an otherworldly glow.

" It's beautiful." Winry whispered.

" Yes, I know. I bought it a long time ago."

Winry looked over, and saw the girl was smiling up at the house, with the same awe as Winry. She looked over at her, and for the first time ever, Winry saw a slight smile to those cold eyes.

" There's a pool in the back. I had that added on recently. We can have our lunch beside it."

Winry clapped her hands, but her face fell.

" Oh, we don't have any food."

Dante smiled and gestured to the mansion's garage doors.

" Later you and Sloth will travel into town and gather some supplies. But first I wish to rest. It has been a long journey, and I detest traveling."

Winry suddenly wished the somber woman was with them now.

" Um...When will they be arriving?"

Winry hadn't noticed than Dante was already unlocking the door, and was too far away to hear her. She picked up the heavy bags and scurried over to her before she noticed Winry's absence. Panting, she made it just before Dante turned the handle. The woman raised an eyebrow at her, but opened the door.

The smell of moth balls filled Winry's senses, and her eyes adjusted to the darkness inside the mansion. She squinted, and noted that the inside was a lot smaller than she would have guessed. It was more like an actual house than a mansion. Maybe a large house...Surely a summer getaway for rich snobs. But like the mansion Winry was familiar with, the inside was lavishly decorated. Winry smirked to herself. Dante's tastes where hard not to recognize.

Dante went inside with out acknowledging her, and Winry was left standing alone on the big pouch, bags at her feet, and hands lying limply at her sides.

The darkness swallowed Dante whole as she stepped inside, and Winry couldn't see her anymore. She felt a sense of impending doom start to rise up into her throat that she couldn't shake off. So she was pinned there in her stop, not sure what to do, when a voice from inside called her.

" C-coming..." Winry cleared her throat and picked up the bags.

Inside was a perfect climate, with a slight breeze. Winry had to squint as her eyes continued to adjust as she made her way down a long hall way. She found herself in a cozy living room, with two plush couched and a already roaring fire. Dante had found the masters chair, and was sitting their now, with her feet propped up. She had her eyes closed, and she looked pretty peaceful. Her slanted eyes opened once Winry sat down the heavy suitcases and fell into the couch, giving off a loud sigh.

She could feel Dante studying her, but she continued to look around the room like she didn't notice. Winry noted the giant back porch with- As Dante had said- a freshly added swimming pool. It looked clear and inviting. There where fresh tanning chairs all around, and she could almost see Lust out their now, rubbing on tanning oil, in a black swim suit. She smiled to herself. Winry loved swimming, and was itching to jump into the pool. The heat out side and in the house was almost unbearable. But it was great feeling compared to the cold mansion.

" What are you smiling about?" Dante asked.

Winry shuddered, and let out a quick laugh.

" Oh, just thinking about how nice the pool is going to feel. It's so hot!"

Dante stared at her for a moment, then smiled.

" Yes, I hope you enjoy it."

Winry's eyebrows pulled together. " Your not going to swim?"

Dante smirked at something, " No. I don't swim."

Then why buy a pool, Winry thought. But she didn't dare say it.

Dante stood suddenly, and Winry jumped.

" I'm going to rest. Send Envy to me when the humunclie arrive."

Winry watched Dante disappear down the hall, her grace back along with her queenly attitude. She stuck her tongue out at the retreating woman, and then sighed, leaning back into the soft leather.

She had no idea when the others would be arriving, but she hoped it was soon.

Winry yawned.

She was so tired. She hadn't slept at all on the train, it had been to uncomfortable.

She kicked off her boots- curtsey of Lust- and snuggled into the couch. She still had on her traveling clothes, and was grateful for the comfort. She wore some loose fitting jeans and a black tube top. Her favorite. It was just warm enough in the house that she didn't need her jacket, but she still held it against her. She inhaled the scent. It was Lust's, and smelt of her dark flowery aroma. Winry yelped as something poked into her chest from the depths of the jackets. She reached into the pocked and brought out her stone flower.

Winry stared at the small trinket, smiling to herself, until she fell asleep.

Ya...So Envy's life is kinda like watching Doctor Phil. Really! He hates his dad and his mom, has two half brothers that he wants to kill, he's having emotion breaks down and CRYING, yes he was crying, and now the girl of his dreams is out of his reach. Ya...Don't worry though. he comes to his senses sooner or later...I just can't wait until him and Ed fight. Whoops. Well, you already knew it was bound to happen anyway.