AN: My many many thanks to those who are reviewing! I can't tell you how much I appreciate the feedback :) mmbrooks- You are amazing! Thank you!
Music for this Chapter is so good and meaningful for these scenes! I highly recommend getting it on Youtube or Spotify! It's free so why not enjoy as it was written! (on repeat) Make You Feel My Love by Adele, Change in the House of Flies by Deftones, She Will Be Loved by Maroon 5, Angel by Sarah McLachlan, Kissing You by Des'ree from Romeo and Juliet Soundtrack, I Will Love You by Fisher
NINETEEN
o
"Oh my God, Eric," Vaughn laughed watching Sydney and Irina put Lena in her very first article of clothing. "What size is that? She's swimming in it!"
"It was cute so I grabbed it. Had those cute little yellow ducks." Weiss watched with fallen expression as Irina rolled the sleeves up on the baby lying on her bed. "It looked pretty small in the store. The tag said Newborn. She's just super tiny. I'm sorry, man, ok! I did the best I could under pressure!"
"It's very cute, Agent Weiss," Irina smiled up at him when she finished, "I'm sure she'll grow into it." She propped the baby up in her arm as Sydney slid on the little knit hat to keep Lena's head from getting cold.
Weiss seemed to lighten up after Irina gave her approval and threw Vaughn an annoyed look. "At least I got the diaper size right."
"Only because you and Marshall bought every size from Preemie on up." Vaughn added under his breath and cracked a smile. "One of them was bound to fit her."
"Oh shut up, Mike!" Weiss threw an oversized diaper package at him.
"Ok you two, enough!" Sydney sniped at them, gently taking the baby from her mother and turning to Vaughn, "Open your arms."
"What? Syd? I ah…" He stuttered the closer she came to him with the baby.
"Just open your arms." She smiled calmly.
"Syd, I've never held a baby this tiny." He opened his arms as Sydney gently passed the baby off to him. "Oh." He cooed once the baby was in his arms, "Wow." He smiled down at her and then up at Sydney and Irina, the exchange making Irina smile from ear to ear sitting in her bed.
The morning after the delivery, her Medical cell had become the hotspot of the JTTF with Lena's arrival.
"I've got it!" Marshall exclaimed, armed with a digital camera and an enormous smile as he burst through the cell door.
"Thank you, Marshall. Katya will be thrilled to see some photos of Lena." Irina smiled adjusting her pillow. "It was a very thoughtful idea. Where'd your father go to?" Irina looked back towards Sydney while Marshall started snapping pictures of the baby.
"He's talking with Kendall. They're going to move you back to your regular cell and Dad's talking him into letting you keep the baby with you full-time, until he can secure your pardon." The baby started fussing and Vaughn handed her back to Irina to feed. "It only makes sense, since we'd have to be bringing her back down here every two hours for you to feed her anyway." Sydney sat on the edge of the bed watching her sister nurse.
"What do you think Kendall's response to that request is going to be?" Irina covered the tiny hand grasping at her breast, the thought of being separated from her baby for more then a minute unbearable right now.
"I don't think he's going to have a problem with it." Sydney laughed thinking about what she'd overheard from the conversation. "Dad explained to him about having to bring her back every two hours to nurse anyway and Kendall made some remark about buying Lena formula, to which of course Dad lectured him on how important it is for newborns to be breastfed for at least the first two weeks of life to develop healthy immune systems. Of course, he used you breastfeeding me and my excellent health as an example." She smiled holding back her laughter as the men in the room gave them strange semi-erotic looks thinking about Sydney being breastfed by Irina.
"Your father explaining the pros and cons of breastfeeding to Director Kendall. Oh, that is one conversation I wish I'd seen." Irina laughed seeing the mental image in her mind.
"I think Dad sealed the deal by giving Kendall an entire box of Cuban cigars and two bottles of vodka to celebrate Lena's birth. I've never seen him like this Mom, Dad so smiley. It's kind of freaking me out." She laughed softly shaking her head, "I think he's smiled more this morning than I've seen him in the last 20 years." Her comment unintentionally sent an immediate pain shooting straight through her mother's heart at thinking about the reason Jack hadn't smiled in the last 20 years and felt a wash of sadness for both her husband and daughter, who was no so unnerved by seeing it.
"What's 'freaking you out?" Jack appeared in the doorway with a pink box in hand, broad grin plastered on his face.
"You." Sydney laughed with a smile.
"What's the verdict, Jack? Can she stay with me?" Irina asked hopeful as she pulled the baby closer to her bosom.
"She can stay, for now." He smiled, leaning over to kiss the baby's head and then Irina's cheek.
"For now? What does that mean?" She was not as relieved as she should be.
"Meaning, that I want to have you both out of here as soon as possible and she can stay with you full-time until I reconvene with the Senate House Committee and get your pardon." He opened the pink box and pulled out the beautiful cake inside. 'Happy Birthday Lena' was written across the top of the cake in English with 'Welcome to the Light' written across the bottom in Cyrillic. In the middle, her birthday and their re-birth, November 15th.
"Jack," Irina smiled feeling herself get teary eyed at his whole hearted effort to accept her Russian heritage; sharing a knowing glance with Sydney and Jack over the significance of the date.
"And," Sydney smiled through her tears and left the room to retrieve something from the hall leaving them all in suspense, "What's a birthday without gifts?" She carried in a beautiful woven Moses style cradle basket into the room.
"Oh, Sydney," Irina adjusted herself and the baby to get a better look, "Thank you." She smiled her eyes filling with tears. "Wherever did you find it?"
"I remembered you telling me about the one Babushka had for you and Katya when you were babies, while we were shopping that day in St. Petersburg." She admitted shyly, tracing the eye-lit white lining of the basket with her finger, "I've been looking for one like you described ever since and I finally found one."
"Oh, Sydney, its perfect!" Irina wrapped her arm around Sydney, pulling her as close as possible while still feeding the baby. "Just like you. Thank you, Sweetheart."
Jack motioned to a guard standing on the other side of the glass and the young man entered carrying a box, passing it to Jack before returning to his post of standing outside the cell. Jack opened the box and began passing out a bottle of vodka to everyone present in the room, doctors, nurses and all, save Irina who was still feeding the baby. He twisted off the cap and raise the bottle in salute as did everyone else, "To Lena, may your life be far less complicated then ours."
"To Lena!" Everyone saluted, took a swig of their vodka and dug into their cake.
Marshall kept snapping away with the camera and capturing this momentous day, even if it was in the prison cell.
"Sydney, " Irina asked setting the cake plate aside, returning to the seriousness still surrounding them. "What did you learn about the possible lead on Sloane you were looking for? I know I am in no position to ask these questions as a prisoner, but-"
"He's been doing a great deal of business in northern Africa," Sydney jumped in and answered. "We're looking into a possible contact of his that made a money exchange with him a few months ago…Zamir Allyahwa."
Irina's attention was peaked, "Zamir." She repeated thinking to herself.
"You know him?" Jack's tone became more serious seeing the obvious change in Irina.
"He is a former contact of mine, a Saudi-Arabian nationalist." She glanced around the room at the agents whose attention she fully held at the moment. "Freelance worker, with ties to Al-Qaeda."
"Al-Qaeda?" Sydney felt a shiver run through her spine at the thought of her mother and now Sloane working with someone from Al-Qaeda. "What would Sloane want with an Al-Qaeda operative?"
"What do you know?" Jack prompted Irina to tell them what she knew.
"About five months ago, Zamir made contact with one of my Russian operatives about the purchase of a nuclear missile silo in Siberia." She propped a sleeping Lena up on her chest as everyone in the room found it hard to swallow. "It was just after Moscow." She touched her chest and traced the scar hidden beneath her nightgown indicating the night she was shot. "I was obviously in no condition to deal with him at the time, so I had Katya meet with him."
"And did you sell it to him?" Vaughn braved with his anger rising within him at the thought she could have in anyway facilitated Al-Qaeda.
"No, of course not, Agent Vaughn." She stroked the baby's head, "I had Katya tell him Russia was not in the business of helping mass murderers and if he approached us again about the subject, I would have him killed."
A sigh of relief went up around the room.
"Well, that still doesn't help us understand what business he has with Sloane?" Sydney interjected.
"No, but it does provide motive." Jack stood from where he was seated on the bed and began pacing putting the few pieces of information they had together, "Irina basically told Zamir in no uncertain terms to 'go to hell.'"
"Making him open to anything Sloane suggested about extracting revenge on Mom." Sydney nodded, following this line of thinking.
"Yes, but what would Al-Qaeda have that Sloane would want in connection with the Rambaldi prophecy?" Jack turned his attention back to Irina, "You said he was freelance. Sark told us in his debrief that he'd used him on one or two occasions."
"Yes." Irina confirmed tracing the delicate curves of Lena's ear as she slept. "We used him to gather Intel on Hamas inside Tehran on one occasion. Hamas were attempting to buy unshielded uranium from one of my suppliers in Kiev and the other occasion, I used him to negotiate an arms trade between Russia and the Revolutionaries in Afghanistan for fighting the Taliban. Once he aligned himself with Al-Qaeda, I severed all connections with him."
Everyone stood momentarily dumbstruck at yet another reminder that Irina really was the ruling force behind Russia and just how far her organization reached.
"Do you know how to contact him?" Vaughn asked eagerly, knowing that if they caught this man, they'd not only have Intel on Sloane, but also a connection inside Al-Qaeda.
"Yes, I can arrange a meet if you'd like?" Irina nodded.
"I'll pass this onto Kendall. Thank you." Jack swallowed hard, realizing how important this meet could be if it could be arranged.
Three hours later, Irina and Lena had been moved back to her regular cell. Jack had been on the phone with Devlin discussing the Senate Committee Hearing and new Intel Irina had provided them with concerning Sloane and Al-Qaeda, while the rest of the group pursued the possible lead.
"I have to go back to Washington. The Committee is reconvening tomorrow about your mother's case." Jack told Sydney and Kendall after he hung up the phone with Devlin. "The fact that your mother has possible Intel for getting inside Al-Qaeda is another major plus in getting her pardoned."
"Dad, you're leaving so soon," Sydney empathized watching her father pack up his briefcase.
"Sydney, I want them out of that cell as soon as possible." He glanced up to the monitor showing Irina and the baby. "The sooner I get to Washington, the sooner it's over and I can get them out of here."
Sydney nodded in understanding, "When's your flight leave?"
"In two hours," He picked up his briefcase, "Kendall, can you get Marshall to take a still frame of that image?" He pointed to the monitor showing Irina asleep on her hard bunk, the baby lying on her chest asleep and Irina's hand protectively covering her back. "I want to bring it with me to the hearing."
"Trying to induce sympathy for Irina?" Kendall asked, picking up the phone to get Marshall.
"Anything to help get her out of there." Jack retorted honestly making his way down to her cell.
*Make You Feel My Love*
By the time Jack got there, Irina and baby were already awake. Irina had her lying beside her on the bunk, leaning over her, inspecting everything about her: fingers, toes…
"How are my girls?" Jack smiled stepping around the guard into the cell.
"We're doing pretty well, considering." Irina smiled, holding Lena's tiny foot in her hand and laying a kiss on its sole. "She has your feet."
Jack sat on the other side of the baby and Irina. Taking Lena's little fist into his hand, "And your long fingers." He extended them showing Irina their length and the baby smiled in her sleep. "And the same beautiful smile that her sister inherited from her mother." He smiled at Irina, running his finger through Lena's silky dark hair with one hand and touching Irina's cheek, tracing the contours of her smile with the other. "I can't believe how tiny she is." He marveled, "She's so much smaller than even Sydney was at birth and I thought she was so little." He smiled in awe thinking about both of his baby girls, "She's just a little peanut." He leaned over to gently kiss her downy soft hair.
"I could look at her for hours." Irina ran the back of her fingers across the sleeping baby's face. "I used to do that with Sydney. Memorizing every detail about her, committing it to my memory." She smiled sadly, pausing a moment, "Because I knew that one day, I was going to have to leave her and I wanted to make sure I didn't forget anything about her. Every freckle, every wrinkle…" A single tear began rolling off her cheek threatening to fall with her admission.
Jack reached up and brushed the tear away, thinking back to the countless times he found 'Laura' inspecting Sydney in her sleep.
"Jack, if I don't get this pardon. I can't keep Lena in here with me forever." She inhaled a quiet sob as more tears rained down her cheeks.
"You'll get the pardon." He cupped her chin forcing her to look at him, "And Lena is staying right here until you do."
Irina tried to shake off the bad feeling she was having. 'Jack was right, everything would work out eventually.'
"I am leaving tonight, the hearing about your case resumes tomorrow." Jack informed her, "It's almost over now." He offered her a small smile, reaching around the baby to take her hand in his. "This time next week, you'll be a free woman again."
"I can't wait." She looked from him to the baby and up again, "I miss you, Jack." She locked her fingers with his, running her thumb over the back of his hand, still leaning over the baby with her head propped up on her good arm, looking positively seductive even if she wasn't trying to be. "Those Those three days we had in St. Petersburg seem like a dream now." She sighed, "I miss you."
"I miss you, too." He swallowed the lump forming in his throat looking at her beautiful face. "Soon." He leaned over the baby and captured her face in a long sensuous kiss. "Soon. I love you." He repeated looking deep into her eyes. "Both of you." He bent over and kissed the baby's head and then captured Irina's lips once more before leaving.
Sydney had brought her mother dinner that evening, filling her in on everything they'd gone over that day while they ate. They also talked about and admired the baby and Irina filled Sydney in on stories from the time when she was a baby and the hilarious things she and Jack did as first time parents.
The following morning the doctor had visited Irina and the baby in her cell, giving them both a follow up check-up. Irina's milk had come in and she was now pumping in between feedings, having Sydney freeze it, to keep the painful pressure in her breasts down, as Lena wasn't eating enough yet to relieve it on her own. The CIA's break-room freezer was quickly filling up with the excess.
"How are you doing?" Sydney asked from behind the glass, stopping by quickly to update her mother and pick up the latest round of milk.
"I'm feeling very much like a dairy cow at the moment, but ok." Irina laughed having just finished pumping again. "I'd forgotten that it was this way with you, too. If memory serves me right, it should take about a week for it to normalize and be in-sync with your sister's eating habits. Any word from your father?"
"Yeah, he just called to say he was heading into the meeting…that he'd call as soon as it was over." Sydney smiled softly, both trying to have hope that it wouldn't be too long until her mother was released.
"Ok." Irina answered softly leaning against the glass.
"Don't worry, Mom," Sydney smiled tucking the hair behind her ear nervously, "Dad will get you out."
"Senators, as you can see from the information I've provided you with today, I strongly believe that releasing Derevko, would only help our government establish a more secure relationship with the Russian government and help in our global War on Terror. She has shown a tremendous willingness to cooperate and has provided us on more then one occasion, with Intel that has been vital into bringing in and bringing down some of the top terrorist cells in the world. I believe that Derevko is far more useful than dangerous to the US Government and we should honor her pre-existing immunity agreement and grant her the conditional pardon." Jack took his seat after the closing arguments in Irina's case.
"Thank you, Agent Bristow, we will review the information you've provided us with concerning Irina Derevko and reconvene tomorrow to announce our findings." Senator Douglas banged the gavel and everyone got up to leave the room.
"Hell of an argument, Jack." Ben Devlin slapped Jack on the back, "You know you have the full support of the CIA behind you on this. Irina is far more an asset to the intelligence community in this country than a threat and they'll come to see that. Have faith." He smiled and packed his own briefcase. "Now let's go get something for dinner and let me buy you a drink to celebrate the birth of your new daughter."
Jack nodded in agreement, "Ok, but I need to call Sydney and give her an update first."
"Dad," Sydney rushed to the phone, "What did they say?" She sat heavily on the chair waiting to hear the news.
"They are reviewing the case and will have a decision tomorrow. Devlin said that given the information provided, backed by the head of the CIA. Your mother should get her pardon." He breathed a sigh of relief, the whole situation taking its toll on all of them. "How is she doing? The baby? She had a follow-up with the doctor this morning, right?"
"Yes, they're both fine and Mom says she's sympathizing with cows at the moment." She chuckled.
"Cows?" Jack shook his head in confusion as he maneuvered his car into the restaurants parking space.
"Her milk came in." Sydney blushed feeling very odd talking about such things with her father.
"Oh... yeah, that I remember." Jack laughed, "She is something of an anomaly if I remember. It was non-stop for almost a week. I remember having to take her in to the doctor because she was in constant tears over it, thinking it would never end, but it did and the massive supply of stored up milk gave me the opportunity to feed you once and awhile with a bottle."
Sydney felt a surge of happiness run through her at the thought of her father feeding her as a baby.
"But all humor aside, Sydney, how is she doing?" Jack locked the car and leaned against the door, knowing Irina was fairly good at deflecting her feelings with humor and remembering their earlier conversation.
"She's worried, Dad." Sydney sighed softly, leaning into her desk and rubbing her temple. "She's nervous that the pardon won't go through. She hasn't said it, but I can see it. She's not as hard to read emotionally anymore as she used to be and to be honest, I'm nervous, too. What will we do if they refuse the pardon?"
"We'll deal with it when it happens, figure something else out, but Sydney, we'll get her out. You have to believe that." Jack pulled the collar up on his jacket, feeling the cold November air sending a chill racing down his spine.
The following day Sydney awoke to a rainy, cloud covered day, not untypical for a Southern California winter. Vaughn had called her the night before, sounding positively miserable with the flu telling her she should stay away as he didn't want to give it to her and subsequently, pass it on to the baby. She'd arrived at the office late after fighting traffic that was moving slower then usual with the rain. Her father had called her on his way to hear the Committee's verdict, and now she raced to find Marshall wanting to pick up the LIVE feed from the hearing.
"Already ahead of you, Syd," Marshall smiled flipping through various stations on the monitors until Senator Douglas could be seen sitting behind a large desk.
Everyone gathered around the monitors, watching the verdict being read.
"After carefully reviewing the case of the US Government versus Irina Derveko, the committee feels that despite Derevko's current status within the CIA, she has violated more then one international terrorist law, no matter her reasoning and put the lives of numerous agents and US civilians at risk." Senator Douglas paused taking a shaky breath continued, "She willfully deceived the US government on more than one occasion, whether lying by omission as to protect her countrymen and fellow operatives, or by using her sincerity in turning herself in previously, just to gain access to US government files and locations breaking any immunity agreement she had made."
Jack felt like he was about to be sick, his hands balling into fists.
*Change In the House of Flies*
"As such, the committee and I agree that Irina Derevko 'is' a substantial threat to the US government and its people," He paused as armed guards entered the courtroom, "and the previous sentence of death..."
"No, no, no!" Sydney started crying hysterically watching the scene unfold in front of her on the monitors. Her gaze shifting back and forth from the monitor of the hearing to the one of her mother feeding her sister, sitting so peacefully, unaware she'd been sentenced to death yet again.
Jack flew out of his chair and the guards surrounded him, "You son-of-a-bitch!"
"By lethal injection shall be carried out in 48 hours. Until that time she will be held at a secure location by the NSC with restricted access." The Senator finished.
"This is a cover up!" Jack yelled, one of the guards holding him back from attacking Douglas. "You're using her to cover up your embarrassment, over the fact those agents weren't CIA but KGB! I know what you're doing!" Jack yelled after him as the Senator was escorted out of the room. "You can't get away with this!"
"What the hell?" Kendall backed up as NSC guards suddenly stormed the Ops floor, simultaneously storming into Irina's cell. "What do you think you're doing?"
"Sir, we are under orders from the Justice Department to secure prisoner Derevko. We will be taking the prisoner to a holding facility to await Execution." A guard held his weapon on the group.
"No!" Sydney lurched forward watching the standoff between her mother and the guards on the monitor. "You can't do this!" The man raised his hand and weapon up to stop Sydney, Weiss stepped in front her.
"Director Kendall, we need you to come with us and remove the child from Derevko." The man commanded after hearing about the standoff with Irina in the cell.
"I'll do it." Sydney choked back tears seeing as there was no stopping them from taking her mother.
"I'm sorry, ma'am, but I am under direct orders from Senator Douglas that you are to have no contact with the prisoner at this time. Director Kendall." He motioned with his gun towards the holding cell area.
"No!" Sydney started crying again, "You can't do this! Kendall?" She looked at him pleading.
"I'm sorry, Sydney, I have no control over this." He put his hand on her shoulder trying to offer some small form of comfort before he headed off in the direction of Irina's cell and another guard stepped in to make sure the rest of the group stayed put.
"Irina," Kendall moved around the guard slowly seeing her backed into a corner holding the baby protectively close.
"What the hell is going on?" She demanded, already having some idea. Her bad feeling about all of this coming true. "I didn't get pardoned, did I?"
"Irina…" He avoided her question, stepping forward, "You have to go with the NSC now and I need you to give me the baby."
"Like hell! " She stepped back further into the corner, "What's going on?" She demanded.
"The committee decided you broke your immunity agreement." He swallowed hard, not wanting to do this, "Irina…your sentence has been re-instated."
"The death sentence..." She breathed out feeling as though she was about to collapse.
"Oh, to hell with this!" Sydney shouted watching the exchange on the monitor she picked up a phone, "Dad!" She cried into the phone when her father answered, "They're taking Mom away! Kendall's in there taking Lena away from her right now!"
"Yes," Kendall sighed looking solemnly into Irina's eyes. "Irina, we'll figure this out." He took another step closer, "But for now, you have to go with them and I need you to give me Lena."
Silent tears started streaming down Irina's face as she looked from the men with the shackles that awaited her, to the baby still asleep against her chest. "Where's Sydney?" She looked up through blurry eyes, her defenses weakening.
"She's under orders to stay away right now." He touched her shoulder gently, "I promise, I'll give the baby to her immediately."
Irina nodded, and looked back to her baby, kissing her softly on the head as tears dripped into the baby's soft hair, murmuring something softly in Russian to her tiny daughter. Silently, she passed the baby to Kendall and watched as he backed away slowly, his hand protectively covering her back as Lena snuggled into his chest. The guards charging in immediately to secure Irina with the shackles as her worst nightmares were coming true.
"I'm on my way, Sydney." Jack jumped into the car, squealing the tires as he left, his heart pounding in his chest. He threw his cell-phone into the back seat. He had two days to figure out how he was going to get Irina out of this.
Everyone stood motionless as Irina was shuffled down the corridor into the waiting transport van. Her eyes locked onto Kendall, holding the baby, as she was re-shackled to the van and the doors closed.
Kendall returned to the Ops floor as soon as the van transporting Irina was out of sight, comforting the stirring baby by nuzzling his cheek against her head. 'This isn't right.' He thought to himself, feeling the baby's soft hair against his cheek. 'Only two days old and she's losing her mother.'
Sydney rushed forward the minute he stepped onto the Ops floor, taking the baby from him, kissing her head and crying profusely as she held her close. "This wasn't supposed to happen!" She cried, looking up to the monitor of the now empty cell.
Some hours later, Jack entered the Ops floor immediately searching out Sydney and the baby.
"Dad," Sydney cried walking into his embrace with the baby, who was crying hysterically.
Jack kissed Sydney's head and held them both close, trying to stay strong. "We've got forty-two hours left Sydney. I am not about to let your mother die."
"I can't get Lena to drink from a bottle. We've tried every kind of nipple there is." Sydney held the screaming baby out, giving her to her father with the bottle. "She wants Mom." Sydney looked helplessly at her baby sister.
"Shhh." Jack caressed the baby's back whispering into her ear, taking them both into his office and away from the Ops floor.
"Dad, what are we going to do?" Sydney looked fallen as Jack tried to comfort both his daughters.
"I'm calling Katya." He calmed the baby down and tried again with the bottle. It had been almost six hours since Irina had last nursed her and hunger finally got the best of her and she started eating.
"Katya," Jack patted Lena's back when she finally finished 3 oz. And he had a moment to call, "We have a problem." He looked sadly at Sydney while speaking into the phone.
*She Will Be Loved*
Vaughn had been sleeping most of the day, his fever keeping him out of it. Around 7pm, he heard knocking on his door and crawled off the couch to open it. Sydney stood on the stoop, drenched from head to toe by the pounding rain.
"Syd," He looked at her surprised for a moment then pulled her by the arm inside. "What's wrong?" He grabbed a towel from the bathroom and wrapped it around her soaking body.
"You haven't heard?" She shivered, trying to hold back her tears.
"No…what?" Vaughn's concern came flooding forward.
"They've taken my mom," she paused swallowing hard, and then sobbed, "They're going to execute her, Vaughn."
"My God," He pulled her to his chest, wrapping his arms around her. "Syd, I'm so sorry." He held her tight as she cried, trying to make sense of it all himself. "Where'd they take her?" He asked when she finally calmed down a little.
"Some NSC holding facility, here in LA." She sobbed taking the tissue he offered her.
"What about Lena?" He used the corner of the towel to wipe water drops from her face.
"She's with my Dad. Katya's on her way. We're supposed to pick her up at LAX in an hour. I'm supposed to be out buying a car seat for Lena, but I just had to see you first." She started crying all over again.
"Shhh, Syd, it will be ok. Your Dad will figure something out. If anybody can get your Mom out of this, it's your father." He pulled her into another hug hoping that it was true.
*Angel*
Irina paced back and forth in her new dark cell. The front of her shirt already soaked from her leaking breasts, painfully swollen and aching for the release of her daughter's nursing.
"Ms. Derevko." A man Irina had never seen approached her glass cell. "I'm Director Lindsey from the NSC."
Irina looked at him briefly but kept her pacing. Lindsey noticed Irina's shirt and swallowed hard hearing that she had just had a baby only two days ago, "I'm sure by now you know why you are here."
"I want to see my lawyer." Irina finally stopped pacing and stood extremely close to the glass separating them.
"I'm afraid you can't. You're being held under the Patriot Act, you have no civil liberties."
Irina's furious eyes stared into his, "Then I want to see Jack Bristow, my husband."
"I'm sorry, but you can't see him either. Justice has denied them any access to you until twenty-four hours before your Execution and then it will be restricted."
Lindsey moved away from the glass, Irina's look homicidal. "I'll have a doctor give you a shot to stop that," He pointed vaguely in the direction of her breasts nervously. "Should make you feel more comfortable."
"I don't want a doctor, Director Lindsey! I want my rights!" Irina slammed her hand into the glass, "And it's not to make me more comfortable! It's to make all this more comfortable for you!"
"Suit yourself." He straightened his tie and signaled the guard to open the gate. "But you should prepare yourself, Ms. Derevko, make your peace with God. You are a dead woman walking."
When the last gate had locked into place, Irina slid down the glass and wall, finding it hard to breathe. 'This is it.' She sighed, as the tears came.
Jack had been on the phone all night long with Devlin, and other top officials trying to get a Stay in Execution, or at least be allowed to see Irina. He was rejected on both accounts.
Devlin, to his credit, had been on the phone with the Secretary of Defense for the better part of the night arguing as to why Irina should be kept alive but the Secretary couldn't change what the Senate Committee had decided 'claiming it would undermined the US's entire philosophy on dealing with terrorists.'
"Sydney," Katya threw her arms around her niece the moment she'd spotted them after landing some twelve hours later, causing Sydney to start crying all over again. Katya kissed her head, murmured soothing words to her in Russian and then bent to observe her new tiny niece sleeping peacefully in the car seat at Jack and Sydney's feet. "Oh Jack," She brushed the baby's cheek with her finger, "How could you let this happen?" She stood with an air of defiance. "She trusted you!" Her anger getting the best of her, knowing it wasn't his fault as angry tears fell.
Jack's response was to say nothing.
"How much time do we have?" Katya dried her tears, picking up the baby in her seat and walking with them to the waiting car.
Jack glanced at his watch as they all piled into the car, "Twenty-nine hours and counting."
"That gives us four hours before we get to see Irina." She whipped out her cell-phone, immediately conversing in Russian to someone on the other line as Jack drove them to the house in the pouring rain.
Two hours passed with Katya in one room talking to various people, while Jack and Sydney took turns with the baby in the other. When one wasn't with the baby, the other was on the phone calling in every favor from everyone they knew.
Jack had just finished on the phone ordering them take-out and Sydney had just started feeding Lena again when Katya plopped down into the big arm chair she'd occupied months before.
"I just got off the phone with Vladimir," Katya sighed setting the phone down and rubbing her hand over her eyes. "He said he's been on the phone with your Justice Department for hours getting nowhere. They will neither confirm nor deny they even have Irina in their custody. So he's getting nowhere. He's called for a private, emergency meeting with your President Bush, but has been told that the President will not change his position on what the Senate Committee has already decided." She looked up with tears in her eyes. "We've exhausted every possibility on this. There is nothing left on my end that we can do." She reached up and angrily brushed her tears away.
"There is something." Jack started pacing in front of the fireplace, not willing to give up. "In two hours, we have access to Irina. If I can get her to drink an anti-toxin serum-"
"We can revive her once they've moved her body to the morgue." Sydney added finding some shred of hope in this plan.
"Will that work?" Katya had never heard of such a thing, finding the idea absurd. "What if you can't revive her?" She swallowed hard, thinking about her sister dying.
"It has to work." Jack pulled out his phone making the arrangements.
Katya moved beside her nieces on the couch. "She looks just like Irina," She smiled sadly, brushing her hand lightly over the baby's mohawk while Sydney fed her, more tears springing to her eyes as she pulled them both close. "How can this possibly be happening?" She cried softly in shock that this was real.
The four of them, met by Kendall, had arrived at the NSC holding facility in Riverside just after 8:00 PM: 24 hours until Irina's execution.
"What do you mean we can't see her 'physically?" Jack yelled at Director Lindsey, dangerously close to choking the man, only to be held back by Kendall.
"Direct orders from the Justice Department, Agent Bristow." Lindsey shuffled the papers in his hand nervously. "Seems with your history, they think you'd try to slip her an anti-toxin and revive her later." Jack swallowed hard, his last chance to save Irina slipping by.
"We can't even hug her goodbye?" Sydney tried to hold in a sob that was threatening to escape causing her voice to quiver.
"No physical contact whatsoever was the order." He looked at Sydney holding the baby apologetically, "I'm sorry, really I am."
"You're a god-damn-son-of-a-bitch and you know it!" Kendall got in Lindsey's face as Jack came dangerously close to hitting the man before a guard stepped in.
"You can meet with her separated by glass or not at all?" Lindsay threatened.
Jack swallowed his anger for the time being, not wanting to miss what might very well be his last chance to talk with Irina.
"I swear to God, Bristow, if you try anything, I have no problem making your children orphans! You have twenty minutes." Lindsey straightened his stature and pushed Jack aside so he could get through the office door, confident and cocky backed by armed guards.
"I would like to go first, if that's ok with you?" Jack looked nervously between Katya and Sydney who was holding a sleeping Lena. They both shook their heads 'yes,' lost in their own thoughts of what they were going to say in their final goodbye to Irina.
Jack turned towards the steel doors, closing his eyes a moment to steel himself for this conversation. He walked, in what seemed like slow motion, down the hall towards Irina's cell.
*Kissing You*
'This can't be happening. This can't be happening.' The mantra was running through his head.
Irina was sitting in the middle of the floor, back to him, meditating. Jack had a hard time swallowing seeing her dressed now in the traditional Death Row orange jumpsuit.
Irina felt his presence immediately and turned slowly, their eyes locking as she stood and walked towards the glass. Both, not saying a word, but having an entire conversation without saying a word.
"I'm sorry," Jack finally spoke. "I'm so sorry. I won't give up! I can't give up! I'll get a team and we'll break you out if I have to."
"Jack," Irina raised her hand to the glass, "Stop, please." She begged. "It's over…my time is up."
"No!" He slammed his fist angrily into the glass.
"Yes!" She said forcefully, holding back the tears, "Jack…listen to me. You have to be strong. You have to be strong for Sydney and for Lena," She finally broke and the tears started streaming. "Jack, please don't do anything we'll both regret. The girls need you. If you try anything, they'll execute us both and where would that leave them?"
"Irina, I can't give up." His eyes welled with unstoppable tears. "I love you. I can't let you go again. Not again."
"Jack, you have to do this. You have to let me go." She regained control of her emotions, trying as hard as she could to compartmentalize.
"No. No." He shook his head in protest to what she was saying, "Listen to yourself! You can't give up!" He slammed his fist against the glass again.
"I'm not giving up," She placed her hand over his angry fist still residing on the other side of the glass. "I'm accepting my fate…and you have to, too."
"No," Jack relaxed his fist to a palm, feeling her heated hand through the glass.
"Please, Jack don't make this harder than it already is." She placed her other palm on the glass and he met it with his. "I need you to take care of our daughters and to finish this with Sloane. Please, promise me that, Jack?"
"I can't do it alone again, Irina," he sighed defeated, tears rolling down his cheeks. "Look at the mess I made with Sydney."
"Jack…look at me," She ordered when he dropped his head, "Sydney is the most wonderful, beautiful human being I've ever had the pleasure of knowing and that is because of you."
"She raised herself, Irina." He finally admitted out loud, holding back a sob. "I don't want to make the same mistakes with Lena. I don't want her in this life, she needs a mother."
"Yes." She nodded sadly threw her tears, "She does need a mother. Jack, listen to me. I can't ask you to bear this alone and I can't ask Sydney to be more then a sister. It's unfair to both of you but Lena needs a mother."
"What are you suggesting?" He stepped closer to the glass, wanting so badly to hold her in his arms and never let go.
"Jack, with your life, the CIA…Sydney's," Irina choked back another sob, "I think it would be best if Katya took Lena home with her, raised her as her daughter."
"What?" Jack could hardly comprehend what she was saying. "And just give her up?"
"No, that's not what I'm saying." Irina shook her head, blinded by tears, "You'd still be her father. You could see her whenever you wanted, Sydney too. But Jack, she is a tiny baby. She needs a mother full-time and that's not something I can ask of either you or Sydney right now on top of trying to find and stop Sloane. You know I'm right, Jack."
"Yes." He looked into her eyes and sobbed, "Okay." He agreed slowly knowing what she was saying was true. "I don't want to let you go." He sobbed. "I love you, Irina. I always have... I always will."
"I love you, too." She could barely stand it.
"You are my soul-mate, Irina. I will find you. I will always find you." Jack sobered, attempting to hold back his emotions.
"Go." She nodded in the direction of the doors after a few moments of looking deeply into each other's eyes, unable to stand the separation any longer. "Katya next please."
He knew she wanted to tell her about Lena and save Sydney and the baby for last.
When he turned his back, she closed her eyes as silent tears fell, the entire exchange witnessed by Katya, Sydney and all others watching on the monitors…there was no audio, but the emotions in their actions said it all.
"Katya," Jack walked through the big steel door, immediately engulfed in a hug by Sydney seeing his obvious distress. "She'd like to see you next."
Katya walked slowly towards the doors, then turned back and hugged Jack fiercely. When she regained her composure, she took a deep breath and entered through the steel doors.
"Katya." Irina smiled through her tears when she saw her sister, placing her palm against the glass, wanting so badly to have some contact with the ones she loved.
"Irina." Katya slowly raised her hand to her sister's, the tears already flowing.
"I'm so happy that we've had these months to 'find' each other again, My Sweet Baby Sister." Irina smiled speaking in Russian, rubbing her hand slowly back and forth over her sisters on the other side of the glass. "I'd missed you so."
"Irina," Katya tried to interrupt, finding it all too hard and barely able to breathe inhaling her sobs.
"Please, let me finish." Irina wiped the stinging tears from her face. "I love you so, so much and I am so thankful," she sobbed, "That God has brought us back together, if even for a short time. It is a gift. You have been a gift to me, and my family. You brought us back together, Katya. You wouldn't let me give up on them. I know I have no right to ask but I am about to ask you the biggest favor of my life." Irina paused, waiting for Katya's eyes to meet hers. "I've spoken with Jack and he agrees," She started sobbing again, "Katya, will you please do me the honor of raising Lena…as your own?"
"No. Rina?" Katya protested startled by the request.
"Katya please. She will never remember me and she needs a mother." Irina begged her, "I know its unfair of me to ask you this, but Jack can't do it alone and I can't ask Sydney to be anything more then her sister. Please?" Her pleading eyes were boring into her sisters.
"Irina," Katya sobbed, "It would be my honor to raise your daughter." She sobbed, "If that is what all of you want."
Irina let out a huge sigh of relief and the tears washed over her, "Thank you."
"Thank you." Katya smiled, and kissed the glass her sister's palm was pressed to. "I promise to be there for both of your girls. I love you so much."
"And I love you."
"She will know you, Irina. I promise you sister. She will know you." Katya tried to smile as she kissed the glass one last time and walked away.
Jack was waiting for her when she stepped out from behind the doors, having an idea of what her emotional state would be watching the interaction on the monitor as well. He opened his arms and she collapsed into them, sobbing and repeating in Russian, "I don't want to let her go, Jack…I don't want to let her go."
Kendall stood behind Sydney as she held the baby, pulling her to his side, attempting to comfort her as she watched the emotional scene between her father and her aunt knowing she was up next.
"Dad," Sydney's eyes met her fathers with unshed tears.
"It's ok, Sydney." He pulled both of his girls to him and kissed them. "I'll give you some time alone and then I'll come to say our final goodbye together, ok?"
Sydney, afraid to speak nodded and made way for the door with Lena.
Irina was leaning against the glass and when she saw her girls, she couldn't contain the tears she swore moments ago she wouldn't cry. 'She'd pull it together and be strong for them,' but seeing them for the final time… "Sydney," she moved closer to the glass if that was possible.
"Mom," Sydney cried immediately placing her hand against the glass for some type of contact. "Oh Mom... what are we going to do?" She sobbed.
"Sydney, listen to me," She looked down at the sleeping baby in her daughter's arms and could feel her body aching for her. "Sweetheart, there are no words. I have so much I wanted to say but all that really matters is that you know, how very much I love you." Irina's tears would not be stopped. "I've done so much wrong in my life but you, and your sister are the best things I've ever done. I never deserved to have a daughter like you-"
"Mom-" Sydney tried to interrupt but Irina kept going.
"Sydney, it's true. You and Lena, are the greatest joys in my life. I missed so much time with you but I am so 'Thankful' to have been given the chance to know the woman you've become. I'm only saddened by the thought that I will never have the chance to know your sister, like I know you. But," She sobbed, her heart breaking and shattering into millions of pieces as she watched Sydney breaking down on the other side of the glass, wanting so badly to hold them tight against her chest "I'm sure she will be every bit as wonderful as her big sister." She smiled through the tears.
"I'll take care of her, Mom, I promise." Sydney looked from her sleeping sister, blissfully unaware what was happening to her mother.
"Sweetheart, I've spoken with your father and Katya…and we agreed that the best thing for Lena…is to go home with Katya." Irina spoke slowly and softly knowing Sydney would not like what she was hearing.
"What?" Sydney pulled the baby tighter to her chest, "Mom, I can-"
"Sydney, sweetheart, listen, please," She begged her daughter, "Your father can't do this alone and I can't expect you to be anything more then a sister to Lena. She needs a mother, a full-time mother. Sydney, you should understand more then anyone how important that is-" Irina cried for her daughters.
"I do but, Mom, I can help Dad! I can quit the CIA and stay at home with her. I can do it!" She stood defiantly against the glass. "I can't let her go, Mom! She is my connection to you." She finally admitted. "If I have to let you go, I can't let her go, too." She sobbed.
"Sweetheart, please understand what you're saying. Do you honestly think you can raise her as your daughter? To be her mother in every way? This is a huge responsibility, Sydney, and I can't ask you do this. " Irina didn't want to separate her daughters, but she also didn't want to put unnecessary strain into their relationship. "Sweetheart, you can still be her sister if she goes with Katya-"
"And grow up on the other side of the world? Mom, I'd miss everything. No, Mom, no!" Sydney shook her head, "I know what an amazing responsibility this is but I'm ready. I can do it." She cried softly. "I don't want to do it, because it should be you, but I will do it, and I will love her with everything I've got, Mom, I promise. Please, let me do this! We have to stay together." She moved Lena to lie against her chest and buried her cheek into her soft hair.
Irina watched how easily Sydney moved with Lena now, after only two days and knew in her heart, that it would be 'ok.' They would be ok. And she nodded her approval.
*I Will Love You*
"Thank you." Sydney sighed in relief and anguish. "I love you so much, this isn't fair!" Sydney sobbed, wiping the tears from her face, keeping them from dripping onto her sister. "I just got you back."
"I know," Irina empathized, "Sydney, finding you again, your father, was more then I could ever have hoped for and your sister, is a miracle. I love you all and wherever I end up, I have to believe that one day, we 'will' see each other again, Sweetheart. No matter where I've been in this world, or will be in the next, you've always been with me…always. And you always will." She laid her forehead against the glass and Sydney did the same, palm to palm, forehead to forehead. "I love you to the moon and back, more than stars in the Heavens and the grains of sand on Earth, forever and always." She whispered into the glass.
What was left of Jack's heart, shattered when he walked in and saw them standing like that, remembering just a few short months ago their happy reunion in St. Petersburg and now, they were saying 'goodbye.' He walked up behind Sydney, placing his arms around her, so his hand covered hers, meeting with Irina's on the other side of the glass, leaning his head into Sydney's. They remained that way, for a moment before Irina pulled her head back and took a long glance at her family on the other side and smiled.
"Jack, Sydney's asked to keep Lena with you two and I've given my blessing." She smiled, removing one hand from the glass long enough to wipe the tears. "She's right, you need to stick together."
Jack agreed, and pulled Sydney's head in to kiss it.
Sydney turned the baby in her arms, uncurling Lena's tight little fisted hand and placed her open tiny palm against the glass, covering it with her own looking sadly, and bravely, into Irina's eyes.
Irina moved her hand slowly to the glass, seeing the tiny hand pressed flat against it covered by Sydney's and then Sydney's by Jack's she pressed her palm to theirs, looking up into their glistening eyes with her own.
"This is just wrong." Kendall felt his eyes tearing up watching the exchange. "This isn't right. God damnit!" He said under his breath, as the first tear finally spilled over onto his cheek, where he angrily wiped it away before another fell.
"Til my body is dust, Til my soul is no more, I will love you, love you, " Irina began reciting the lyrics from one of her favorite poems in Russian, "Til the sun starts to cry, And the moon turns to rust, I will love you, love you…" She smiled as she finished and the guard interrupted.
"Time's up." He moved sadly into the hallway with them.
Irina removed her hand, kissed her palm and placed it back over the glass where here family's hands remained, letting it linger a moment before dropping it and taking a step back nodding bravely in acceptance.
"We'll be there tomorrow, Mom." Sydney called back through tears as they were being escorted away, "You won't be alone."
Irina stayed at the glass long after they'd disappeared. Finally, when the lights went out, she lay in her bunk and cried herself to sleep.