Angels Have Fallen
March 11th 2011 AD
Dear Diary (Or "To Chuck" the only person who will actually read this),
I do not see why I am to write my "feelings" down. However, Prophet Chuck claims that this will help me with my "problem." How can writing about this make it any better? How can a few words help me now?
There is no point going over the same facts again and again when we all knew for over a year that my brothers would abandon Earth. I tried to avoid notifying the others of my fading Grace, but they are far more observant of an angel that requires food and sleep, so that only lasted a few weeks, at most. But the biggest changes started two days ago.
The things I felt as I changed were, "Disturbing." There was a shooting pain in my skull and my wings burned greatly. Apparently, I woke the whole camp with a cry of pain; yet, all I know is that I woke up surrounded by feathers and blood.
I ran from my cabin calling for my brothers to come back, to help us. I... Even asked to be taken. I've been praying to my Father. I don't want to abandon Dean and Bobby, but I've never felt so useless; I can barely hold a gun, and they insist on saving me from every near-death situation. I am grateful for that, but Dean's constant self-sacrifice makes me wonder if he is just suicidal after Sam accepted Lucifer.
That woman, Risa, dragged me into the mess hall before Dean could shoot me. They didn't know what to do, so fed me whiskey and other alcoholic beverages, and Dean threatened to go all "Padded cell" on me if I did not calm down.
Bobby arrived claiming that none of his books said what was going on, and that I smelt, "like arson at a brewery."
I understand that I had a seizure and they were forced to, "subdue me with use of violent force." So, now I am awake finally after three days being asleep.
I will try my brothers again, and hope they can hear me.
From,
Castiel