Sweet Despair

The sun had now begun to disappear over the horizon. The colors of the sky now consisted of a soft looking orange accompanied by a warm red. It was beautiful. Surprisingly, Alice was having a wonderful time with Stein. Walking alongside each other, Stein was doing most of the talking while Alice listened. Who knew the professor would be funny, in a way. His jokes mostly were darker than what she is normally used to, but, that didn't bother her at all. She held one hand to her lips while laughing under her breath. The professor seemed pleased that he was able to make Alice laugh, not many of his colleagues understood his dark humor. A grin appeared across his face as they both now walked in silence.

Soon they both arrived at a small; yet, the large looking building was filled with medical equipment. Stein opened the door motioning her to enter first, with a nod; she gladly stepped inside the store. Her eyes widen slightly seeing different varieties of surgical utensils. The store was quite large; its medical equipment was neatly placed in their specific area.

Stein walked passed her as he walked down the Aisle, she followed behind him at a slow pace. While stein looked through every shelf for the tools he needed, Alice was silently admiring the place. Her gaze soon landed on Stein, who was staring at her rather amusingly. Alice immediately blushed, lowering her head down while she fiddled with her fingers.

"You know, you don't have to be nervous around me.", he said bluntly. Alice raised her head, a small grin formed on her lips as she rubbed her cheek with her finger.

With that, he returned to look for the items. Alice followed, in case he needed any assistance. The professor stood still, looking at the knives that were hanging from the wall. A low hum emitted from his vocal cords before moving away, however, Alice didn't follow him this time. Stein noticed her footsteps weren't heard as he turned around, Alice stood in front of a lobe boning knives that stood out from the rest.

"Alice?"

No response.

He furrowed his brows as he made his way towards his student.

He now stood next to her, but she didn't seem to take notice of his presence. Alice's eyes stared off blankly at the knife, her pupils had shrunken and her mouth began to quiver. Stein called out her name but to no avail. He placed his hand on her right shoulder as he shook it while called out her name in a loud whisper, "Alice!"

Alice finally snapped out of her trance, a single sweatdrop trailed down her cheek. Her head spun around quickly only to stare at the professor's concern looking eyes. She blinked before her features soften.

"Is everything alright?" Steins' grip on her shoulder tightens a bit. She stared at him before she smiled, nodding to his question.

His eyes narrowed slightly before he released his hand from her shoulder as he walked away. Alice stood there, alone. She placed both of her hands on her chest before exhaling softly. She cupped her face with both hands, remaining there in silence. The professor had been watching her from the corner of his eye; Alice didn't want to bother at the moment.

'What's wrong with me?' her question lingered in her mind before she furrowed her brows. Alice removed her hands from her face and walked away from the area filled with knives.

.''.''.''.''. A few minutes later .''.''.''.''.

After purchasing the items, professor stein, and his student each carried a medium sized box filled with medical equipment and a couple of first aid kits. The grinning moon had finally appeared as it grinds its teeth creepily above the starry skies. Stein walked ahead of the girl who was walking at a slow pace. Her mind had wandered aimlessly at the thought of the knife back at the shop. She froze in fear. There is no doubt that she had experienced a flashback of her past, that knife reminded her of that night where she-

"Welcome to my home!" Stein blurted out, his left arm was extended motioning towards his home. Alice's gaze was now on the eerie looking building.

Standing in front of the gate, the house was riddled with its signature stitch mark patterns all over the walls. Arrows were pointing in various directions; the trees had arrows sticking out from its seemingly dead trees instead of regular green leaves. Yep, this is Stein's house alright. She smiled in amusement before following behind the professor as he opened his door; Stein held the door for her as she silently complied with his kind gesture before he closed the door behind him.

'I can barely see anything in here.' blinking several times before her eyes had adjusted to the darkness, although it didn't last long when the lights suddenly flickered on. She immediately squinted her eyes, "Heh, heh, sorry about that. I don't use the lights often." he said while rubbing his head.

Stein had walked down the labyrinth halls, Alice made sure she followed right behind not wanting to get lost in the many confusing twists and turn. After what seemed like an eternity of walking, they arrived at an open door as the professor flicked a switch turning on the lights. It looked like a storage room riddled with boxes on top of the shelves. The room seemed to be dusty, as well as, it had dead skeleton bodies that belong to small insects. Alice kept walking, until she reached a desk, placing the box on top of it.

"Thanks for your help Alice. I appreciate it.", the professor said as he began to crank his screw. Alice nodded in response before turning around as her eyes landed on his.

The sound of the screw cranking had now stopped as the silence greeted them. Stein stared down at his student, his eyes studying her petite figure. From head to toe, he examined her features. It had been a year since she had transferred herself into the academy, and yet, he never noticed the short curly strand sticking out on top of her head. A sly grin appeared on his lips. Alice tilted her head to the side in confusion.

Stein approached her as he now stood in front of the confused looking girl. Alice didn't know if she should ask him what was wrong, then again she would have to mouth her words for him to understand. His eyes had never left her; this was beginning to make her feel a bit uneasy. Stein extended his right hand, and then time began to slow down. Alice was dumbfounded when his hand had gently been placed on her head. Her strand of curly hair flinched at his touch; her cheeks began to heat up at his odd gesture.

He chuckled as a smile spread across his face, "You're unbelievably cute.", his words echoed in her mind making her face heat up as she lowered her head down slightly, "Oh yeah, I almost forgot!"

He removed his hand from his students head, walking across the room and began to open the file cabinet drawers one by one. Alice watched her professor as he began to search for something. She fiddled with her fingers until she glanced from the corner of her eye and saw a familiar figure holding a white stitched box. Blinking in awe, she stared at the box studying it curiously. Her eyes landed on the professor who had a wide smile on his lips.

"I want to thank you for your assistance Alice." he then handed over the box to Alice who took it from his grasp, "I know it's not much but... I do hope you use it more often." he adjusted his glasses as he then shifted his gaze away from hers.

Staring down at the box as she then removed the lid, her eyes widen and her cheeks began to heat up. Inside the box was a pair of white closed toe shoes, and ironically, the patterns on the shoes were stitch marks. By the looks of it, the shoes were handmade. Her eyes sparkled with pure disbelief; she was at a loss for words. Alice raised her head staring directly at her professor who stood there, his eyes staring back at her.

His eyes soften at the sight of the girls' reaction, it was... cute. It was something he will always remember, he chuckled to himself at the thought, "I see that you liked it now." her response was a happy nod, her cheerful smile spread across her lips. Her smile wanted to burst out from her cheeks if it allowed her to.

Alice made sure to place the lid back on the box. She then began to mouth her words to him, 'Thank you!' Stein pulled out a cigarette from his pockets as he then lit it up with a lighter; which appeared out of nowhere. He took a deep breath before exhaling the fume from his lips, "You're welcome."

.''.''.''.''. An hour later in Alice's apartment .''.''.''.''.

The door closed behind her, locking it in the process. Taking off her shoes and placing them on a shoe rack on to her left. She threw her backpack onto the kitchen counter on her left before walking into her bedroom. Alice laid the white stitched box on top of her clothing drawer before she made her way to her bed.

Removing her clothing and folding them neatly. She put away her now folded clothes in her closet, taking out her pajamas along the way. Making her way down the small hall she entered the bathroom, locking the door. Once she was clean, she made her way into the kitchen grabbing a bottle of water as she now walked back in her bedroom. Plopping onto her comfy bed, she stared at the ceiling for what seemed to be an eternity.

Her eyes landed on her nightstand where a single lamp stood there, along with a cylinder shaped bottle with pills inside. She opened the bottle and a single white pill landed on the palm of her hand. Placing the pill in her mouth, she drank the water she grabbed from the kitchen before placing the water bottle on the nightstand. Pulling the covers over her, she positioned herself in a fetal position before closing her eyes drifting off to sleep.

No one loves you...

You are useless...

You will never be strong...

Kill yourself