Hey there! I hope that makes you forgive me for the delay in which I normally translate those chapters! It's actually not my favourite thing to do, and I would much rather work on my 1x13 chapter, but I thought you would like it if I translated this one! And because you are the most incredible readers in the whole wide world, well I wanted to make you happy!
That's actually one of my favourite chapters! As this episode was one of my favourite season one episodes! Probably my favourite! I hope you guys enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!
Also, thanks again for the astonishing response to this story! And sorry to not answer to you guys individually, but I have absolutely no time right now, and I prefer spending the small amount that I have on translating this! Hope you don't mind. Still, THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart for all the reviews!
Miss! Miss. There's a problem with my B.L.T.
Really?
Yeah, I think you better call a ham-bulance.
I was sitting on the hood of the squad car as Sam leaned over me, trying to fix the mess that Swann had caused by tackling me to the ground. I had twisted and burned my knee in a painful way and my throat was still burning which each breath I took, but apart from that, it wasn't that bad.
Looking at the man in front of me, I couldn't stop thinking about when we were together a few weeks ago, about when those big hands, those who were currently trying to bandage my knee, were on my neck and my back.
"I cannot wait to get back to civilization." Sam said, breaking the silence and, by the same way, the thoughts that were flying randomly in my head.
"You haven't done a lot of camping, huh?" I said with a small smile in my voice, seeing how the fact that we were in the forest was affecting him.
"What, you mean like with a tent?" He asked me with an incredulous look.
I smiled at his reaction, his question bringing me back to my childhood, when my father wasn't just a drunk and when he would take me camping every summer. Just me, him and the nature, that was the perfect mix.
"Yeah, my dad used to take me every summer." I said, remembering like it was yesterday how I would count down the days until our annual camping trip.
I got out of my memories, moving my eyes back on to the officer that was still standing in front of me. He was trying to open a gauze packaging that he found in the first aid kit of the cruiser. He was really concentrated on his task and I wondered if he was doing it just so he couldn't look at me in the eye.
"Told you, I'm more of a city boy." He started, leaning over my knee again.
I quivered, halfway between the pain and the warm sensation that was enveloping me as his hands were gliding gently across my naked skin.
"In the summers, my sister and I used to go to day camp, parks and rec." He continued still avoiding my eyes. "Did try to go to the beach this one time.. We were on a bus, about a half an hour out of town and… Sarah kind of freaked out."
"What, was she afraid of water?" I asked frowning, questioning myself about the reason that could make a young girl her age scared about going to the beach.
A few seconds went by as Sam was still circling my knee gently, trying to hide how much talking about this was affecting him, but I could see it; I was so used to work with him now.
"She was afraid of… Uh, everything. When she was 13, Sarah was attacked by this group of boys. Yeah, pretty messed up by it. I was only 9 at the time. I didn't really get it. Tried everything to cheer her up." He finished, still trying to keep this voice steady.
I looked at him as he frowned without looking at me, still not wanting to show me how much this thing with his sister affected him even if he wasn't saying it. I suddenly wanted to put my hand on his cheek, but I restrained myself, only smiling to him.
"Hence the joke book."I only said on a understanding tone.
"Yeah… Nothing really worked." He told me with the face of someone that had never gotten over the fact that he failed the mission he had somehow given himself.
"You were 9 years old, I'm sure you did everything you could" I told him on the more supportive tone possible, lowering my head to the right so I could look at him in the eyes
"She didn't, uh, need cheering up. She just needed someone to protect her." Sam told me, finally looking at me.
"So you became a cop." I said on a knowing tone.
Sam raised his eyebrows, silently agreeing with the statement I had just made. The silence quickly settled between us as we were staring at each other intensely. I didn't know what got into him so that he would talk to me about all of that. Sam was usually so closed and secretive. He was finally the one to break the silence, talking again.
"Your leg's good to go." He told me as he straightened his back. "Wanna try putting some weight on it?" He continued, offering his hand to help me.
I slowly got up, leaving the support the hood was giving me and I tried to put some weight on my leg. The first feel was not quite good and I grabbed his arm as he was still holding me like he was scared I would fall.
"I'm really sorry for freaking out on you." He told me on a tone I thought was sincere.
"Hmm" I only said, nodding my head a little, still not perfectly okay with the fact that he yelled that much when Swann got away.
Yes, I knew I had made a mistake, but I couldn't have knowm for sure that he wasn't really in anaphylactic shock and that he only wanted to run away.
"Look… Whatever happened… Between us, uh." He started, staring at his hands just like they had suddenly become really interesting.
He waited for a moment, like he was trying to convince himself at the same time. Sam finally raised his eyes, looking at me with a soft look.
"You know, Luke is a good guy. He's reliable, solid." He finally said.
"He is." I agreed.
I didn't know why he was telling me all of this; it was just as like he was trying to convince himself that I was better off with Luke than with him. I had to confess that I tried to convince myself too, because yes, even if Luke was the perfect guy for me, I couldn't get Sam out of my mind even when I was with Luke. However, Luke was never in my thoughts when I was with Sam.
Even on the night of the blackout, I almost didn't think of Luke at all when I ran through those streets, the only thing on my mind was Sam and how I needed to feel that security I felt when I was with him.
"Yup, and hell of a detective. Doesn't impose, doesn't judge, just looks at the fact. Which is probably what he's doing right now, just give him some time." He continued.
"Yeah, well, maybe he's too good of a detective." I said under my breath.
Even though I was really trying to convince myself that what Sam was saying was true, the fact that Luke was obsessed with his job to the point where he left me alone on the night I needed him the most kept coming back into my head.
"What do you mean?" He asked me with a questioning look.
"I mean that if Luke had been with me that night, when I killed that man, I wouldn't have come to your place and caused all those problems." I only said, staring at my feet for a couple of seconds before looking back at him, wanting to see how he was reacting to what I had just said.
"You know I don't regret any of that right? I'm not mad at you, and I really know you just needed someone that night. You didn't want it to be more than that." He told me gently.
More than stating some facts, he was trying to get confirmation that it wasn't supposed to be more than that. I could see he wasn't mad at me, but there was something else bothering him. After the last few weeks I knew for a fact that it wasn't how it used to be.
"So what is going on between us then?" I asked him, shrugging, trying to understand why he was so rude with me since that night.
"Because, Andy, even if I don't regret it, maybe next time you could give me a heads up when you decide to break my heart like that." He said on a tone that was half sad and half laughing.
I sighed deeply; yes, I knew that I had hurt him, but I didn't think he would be affected that much by what happened. I thought that he was just disappointed because he hadn't gotten the chance to sleep with me, or because I had broken some rules, but really, that didn't seem to be the problem.
I had really hurt him, and that, that was the last thing I wanted to do. I opened my mouth, wanting to apologize for everything, but he raised his hand in front of me, making me stop before I even started.
"It's okay Andy, you don't need to tell me how sorry you are, I know that, I'll be okay! Anyway, I had what was coming to me, becoming emotionally attached to one of my rookies." He told me with a small ironic laugh.
I nodded, trying to understand what was implying everything that he just said. On one hand, yes, it was true that I wanted to forget what had just happened that night and that I went there for some kind of physical comfort. If I had known that he had more than just sexual attraction towards me I probably wouldn't have done it.
However, at the same time, what I felt for Sam Swarek was really more than a simple physical attraction, because even if he could drive me crazy and make me mad as hell sometimes, I really felt safe when I was with him. I felt at my place and I was happy. That second part was probably the part that had the most impact on the decision I took when I left my apartment to go see him. I needed so desperately that security, that comfort and I knew that Sam was the only one capable of making me feel that way.
"And I knew it was only physical." He said as he was reading my thoughts. "And that's my problem, I let you in, and I would do it again, because I will always want to take care of you." He told me on a voice that was so low I was having difficulty hearing it.
It wasn't like him at all to tell me stuff like that, and I knew very well that it took a lot of courage for him to admit all of that. I tried to look at him in the eyes but he was avoiding it, looking everywhere except at me.
"Good to go?" He asked me, seeming to get out from its contemplative stare of the forest.
I nodded and tried to take a step but my leg gave out under me, forcing me to take support on the car behind as Sam tried to catch me, looking genuinely concerned.
"It was more than only physical, Sam." I told him as he frowned, surprized that I would feel the need to talk about it again. "Yes, Luke is a good guy, but he wasn't there, and I really needed more after what happened that night." I only said.
"I know, that's what I was sa…" He tried to start before I interrupted him, resting my hand on his chest.
"No, you don't know. Yes, I needed some physical comfort, and I could've gone to anyone for that, but I went to see you Sam. Because yes, it was physical; but with you? With you it's so much more than that. I feel safe when I'm with you, I feel at home, and that's what I needed the most when I came to see you after shooting that guy." I told him, honest about each word I said, probably admitting it to myself for the first time.
I needed Sam much more than I ever needed Luke… I had tried to convince myself that it wasn't true, that Sam was my partner and that Luke was the good guy for me, but I couldn't lie to myself anymore. I wasn't where I was supposed to be when I was with Luke, it was quite the contrary.
Sam looked at me for a long minute, trying to understand what I was saying. My hand was still on his chest and he laid his over it, smiling softly.
"I never wanted to break your heart." I said gently.
He shook his head, delicately placing a finger against my lips to silence me. Moving closer, he lifted me until I was really sitting on the hood of the squad car. Sam slid a hand in my hair, lowering it slowly to my cheek, tenderly caressing it with the tip of his thumb.
His gaze was totally hypnotizing me and I lost myself in the deep brown of his eyes as he was getting a little closer to me, being careful not to touch my still hurting leg. I slowly moved my face toward him, my eyes drifting on his lips. He backed away from an instant before looking at me for a while; I frowned, not knowing what was stopping him now.
"You won't go back to Callaghan's cabin uh?" He told me with a mocking glare. "Because me and cabins, never a good mix!"
I laughed softly, shaking my head to answer his question. He smiled back at me, erasing the space between us as he gently pressed his lips to mine, sliding his hand on my cheek, making me shiver.
Getting my arms around his neck, I completely let myself free to feel every second of this embrace. I didn't even have a thought for my ex-boyfriend. Sam had always been the one I really wanted deep down inside of me, I thought as he was slowly caressing my lips with his. A second hand went to the small of my back, holding me against him as I was still sitting on the car.
I told myself that it was probably a good thing that I was on the hood, because right now, I had the feeling that my legs wouldn't be able to support me as he demanded access to my mouth, which I happily granted. I slipped my hand in his hair, trying to hold on to something as the world was fading around us.
Nothing else existed, not the cold metal of the car under me, not the noises of the forest blending in with the ones of the few cars that went by every once in a while, not anything. It was only me and him, his mouth on mine and his hands that had left my neck to go stroke my back. He was trying to reach under my uniform; which wasn't an easy thing to do.
Giving up on his first idea, Sam left my lips to lay a trail of butterfly kisses on my neck, making me whimper with desire as I tried to keep it at least a bit together. After all, we were two cops on the side of the road, that wasn't professional at all. However, the feeling of his warm lips on the skin of my neck was enough to make forget all work ethics.
I was so lost in him that I jumped violently as the car moved under me and Sam quickly back away from my mouth, his breathing as labored as mine.
"Get a room." I heard Swann tell us, his voice muffled by window between us.
I laughed nervously before hiding my face in the shoulder of my training officer. Sam caressed my hair one last time, laying a small kiss on the top of my head before taking a step back.
"Good to go?" He asked again softly, a small smile showing on his lips.
"Yeah, as long as you." I answered as I got up, trying to put some weight on my injured leg.
Sam helped me get to the other side of the car and closed the door behind before making his way to the driver side.
"I thought you weren't sleeping together?" The prisoner said in the back of the car.
"Oh, but we aren't sleeping together." I only said. "Sam and me, it's much more than just that." I said, giving him a look that clearly told him to shut his mouth.
He rolled his eyes at me but he didn't say anything more as Sam took place in the squad car. I smiled as he turned the engine on and got on the highway. Well, at least I could say that this day ended a lot better than I thought it would, I told myself. I turned to my right to look at the trees passing by on the other side of the window, still smiling softly…
There you go! :D I hope you liked it and that you have the time to leave me a small review even if I don't have the time to reply to it! I would love to hear your thoughts about this chapter! I'll try to translate the next one quickly!