AN: Music for this chapter (on repeat): Daughters by John Mayer, Don't by Shania Twain, Red Square by Call of Duty Soundtrack
TWENTY-SIX
o
Around 3:00 a.m. Lena awoke Irina from her sleep with a small cry of hunger.
"Shhh..." Irina immediately sprang awake and spoke softly in Russian to her baby, trying to calm her while she maneuvered her night gown top up and the baby over closer to her.
Lena's cries immediately subsided as soon as she latched onto her mother, her eyes immediately closing again to nurse in her sleep.
Irina smiled softly, adjusting her arm under her head so that she was propped up enough to look at Lena while still lying down. She pulled the blanket covering her up around the both of them and it was only then, did she realize she didn't remember covering herself with one. She glanced over to the nightstand and saw the iPod resting there.
"Jack." She whispered quietly into the darkness with a sigh, realizing that it was he who'd been in her room and covered them. Her thoughts immediately went back to the night's events. Running her free hand over the empty, cool space beside her where he should have been, brought tears to her eyes. She wanted nothing more then to be snuggled against his chest, safe in his warm embrace as he spooned her from behind. She'd quickly become reacquainted with their former sleeping position these past few days she was actually able to find sleep without threat of nightmares.
Sleep eluded Irina for the rest of the night and she passed the time on her balcony watching the sky change colors with the rising sun. Just before 5:00 a.m. she put on another white bikini with a wrap and made her way quietly downstairs with the baby who'd just fallen asleep again after her morning feeding.
Irina was surprised to find Jack asleep or rather, passed out and half hanging off the couch in the downstairs living room. She was in the middle of contemplating whether or not to leave the sleeping Lena in the living room with Jack when Weiss appeared at the bottom of the steps. His hair was wild from sleep and was yawning but he managed to smile and wave 'good morning' to Irina when he spotted her.
"Good Morning, Eric." She said quietly, smiling as she made her way around the kitchen, the baby asleep against her chest.
"Morning." He smiled in return as he took a seat on the stool in the kitchen. Seeing her in that bikini again snapped him out of any lingering sleepiness. She was Sydney's mom, she was old enough to be his mother, but he couldn't help it. Irina was gorgeous even with a sick, nasty bruise just across her face and he doubted anyone wouldn't agree with that assessment. "Let me take her." He whispered quietly, motioning with his fingers for Irina to hand the baby to him seeing she had her hands full trying to take her blood sugar and prepare insulin.
Happily she passed the baby off to one of her godfathers and smiled as she watched him snuggle Lena into his own chest, dropping a kiss to the top of her head.
"Were you going somewhere?" He asked quietly, pouring himself a glass of fresh squeezed orange juice.
"I was going to go for a swim this morning," She paused long enough to press the plunger of the syringe into her upper thigh, "But Sydney's not awake yet. I was going to leave her here… asleep with Jack but am having second thoughts on that as he drank so much vodka last night, I doubt he would wake up if Lena begins to cry." She eyed him from across the kitchen, noting that his head and arm now hung off the side of the couch, following suit of his left leg, which already hung there.
"You go." Weiss motioned with his head towards the beach. "I can watch her. Honestly." He smiled when Irina gave him a surprised yet skeptical look. "You'll be back before she's hungry again…right?" He looked at her chest briefly and diverted his eyes quickly when he realized where he was looking causing Irina to chuckle quietly to herself.
"Yes." She whispered back, trying to contain her giggling at how he was blushing. "She should be asleep for awhile yet, and if she wakes, she's generally content now for about ten minutes before she's hungry. If she starts to cry, turn on the ceiling fan. She likes to watch the blades."
"I thought babies this small couldn't see yet?" He looked down quizzically that the tiny bundle in his arms.
"She can see in black and white with the light, and the outlines of people and shapes, like shadows. No detail yet." She smiled and walked over to kiss Lena's head and tiny hand. "Thank you." Irina surprised him by dropping a quick kiss to his cheek. He smiled brightly, feeling himself blush as he watched her walk over to Jack and move his head, arm and leg back onto the couch. Looking around the room she found a small blanket and covered him with it. Weiss didn't miss the small smile and then kiss to Jack's forehead.
"I'll be back in a little while." Irina smiled at him as she walked passed and out the door.
He stood by the glass door, watching Irina's form dive into the beautiful sea and disappear beneath the surf. She emerged a few yards down the beach, where she began doing the breaststroke.
Weiss set about making a pot of coffee and when it was finished, he stepped outside onto the patio and stretched out in the hammock. The view was spectacular and he could see why Irina would have bought such a property. The ocean was a brilliant spectacle of emerald greens and blues and in the distance he could see Irina's white bikini pop up out of the water every few meters as she swam.
Holding Lena like this, it was easy to see why Irina, Sydney and even Jack had a hard time putting her down. She was like ta tiny ball of love and energy that as she slept against your chest, sent that love and energy straight into your heart. It was that love and energy connection from heart to heart that brought Irina back to the land of the living after the Execution. He'd never really been fond of babies, but after witnessing what it took to bring her into the world safely and keep her mother alive, he'd felt special connection to this baby.
Weiss ran his big hand softly over her back as she curled her naked legs under her, into the fetal position she wasn't ready to give up on yet. Her tiny feet he realized, weren't even as long as his little finger. He was in the middle of his inspection of her when Sydney slid the door open with a smile.
"Good morning." She smiled brightly, surprised to see Weiss alone with the baby. "Is this your first time babysitting?"
"It is indeed." He smiled in return as Vaughn wrapped his arms around Sydney from behind. "You know, those public displays of affection. What will people say if you're seen like that? The Nanny and the bodyguard?" He teased causing them to laugh.
"Where's my mom?" Sydney leaned over to kiss the bottom of Lena's foot.
"She's out there." Weiss nodded in the direction where Irina was still swimming up and down the coast. "And your dad, well I doubt I need to tell you."
"Yeah I saw him," Sydney replied dryly, still unhappy with her father. "I can't believe he managed to keep himself on the couch."
"He didn't actually." Weiss made a move to stand but found it difficult to get out of the hammock while holding the baby and not waking her. "He was almost completely on the floor before your mom put him back on and covered him up."
"Really?" Sydney raised her eyebrow in surprise and then realized it wasn't so shocking. Her mother loved her father after all, that wasn't the problem. She held out her hands to take the baby from Weiss so that he could get up.
"As long as I get her back when I get out of this damn thing." Weiss mock glared at her before surrendering the baby.
"I don't know about that. I haven't gotten to snuggle with her yet this morning." Sydney smiled brightly as she took the baby from him, loving the fact that he was enjoying holding her sister now; something he'd seem terrified of doing since her birth.
"You look awfully happy this morning, Mr. Vaughn; do I need to speculate as to why?" Weiss tried to say under his breath as they entered the house but Sydney heard and just stopped to stare at him with open mouth shock. "Oh come on, Syd, you can't play all innocent virgin girl with me!" Weiss laughed at the look on her face, "I was there at Thanksgiving, remember? I know about the 'glass shattering' that goes on between you two! I'm just giving you two 'props' for having the balls to do it under mommy's roof!"
Sydney was blushing now as was Vaughn but he smiled and pulled Sydney's temple to his lips before dropping a kiss to Lena's head.
Sydney looked so natural with a baby in her arms now, it was easy to see she'd be just as good of a mother as her mother was. Something none of them would have ever thought not so long ago.
Jack awoke to the sound of laughter sometime later coming from the kitchen. He rubbed his hand over his face, the bright light of day sending a sharp pain into his head. 'Hangovers were never enjoyable, especially from vodka.' He groaned as he moved to sit. Those in the kitchen hadn't noticed he was awake yet and he took a moment to watch them play with Lena who was now fully awake in Sydney's arms.
They were all laughing at her facial expressions, the scrunched eyebrows she'd make when she was analyzing someone and from the looks of it, Weiss had been the one evoking the looks out of her with whatever he was saying to her.
Jack suddenly felt hot and noticed the blanket covering his lower extremities. He was drunk last night but he remembered coming down from Irina's bedroom and flopping onto the couch; he'd never covered himself with a blanket. Sydney. He smiled to himself at how his daughter took care of him, even when she was angry with him.
"Morning." He stumbled into the kitchen, his quiet greeting ending the laughter as an uneasy silence fell upon the room.
The sudden stillness was disconcerting to Lena who started fussing, remembering she was hungry. Sydney shifted her to her shoulder where she started patting her back trying to calm her but the cries were getting louder.
"Thank you for covering me with the blanket, Sydney." Jack offered a small smile as both a thanks and silent apology for the way he acted towards her last night.
"I didn't." She responded matter-of-factly catching Jack's surprise as he looked to Vaughn and Weiss before following Sydney's gaze to Irina who'd just stepped into the kitchen.
Jack looked sheepishly at Irina who was deliciously wet and beautiful, twisting her sarong around her hair trying to towel out the excess water. She gave him a small smile before rapidly turning her attention to the crying baby Sydney held in her arms.
"Good morning, Sweetheart," Irina kissed Sydney's cheek as she took Lena from her, "Michael." She smiled as she passed him on the way towards the cabinet in the hall in search of a towel.
Lena was screaming impatiently now, flustered and snorting that her feverish attempts to find the source of that breakfast was being met with the cold, wet and salty bikini top.
"Alright, my little ravenous shark." Irina smiled softly, speaking to the baby in Russian. Giving up on modesty, and with her back to them, Irina pulled the tie behind her neck and the strings holding her suit top up fell.
Jack felt a surge to his groin watching her practically naked form retreating. She had an incredibly sexy back that with her new tan, seemed to make all the muscles there even more pronounced and sexy.
Irina managed to pull a stealthy maneuver to keep the other side up while Lena immediately began feeding on the other. She found a fluffy white towel and managed to wipe off the leftover water on her body before wrapping it haphazardly around her.
"Did you guys eat something for breakfast?" She asked innocently as she looked at all the faces in the room.
They seemed to be set in stone, waiting for her move to see how they should proceed with the potential landmine that was now, Jack Bristow.
"No." Sydney answered for the three of them. "We thought we'd wait for you."
"That was nice of you, thank you. I think I'll make you some omelets of the native kind. " Irina smiled, "Jack, how about you?" She took the first step. "Would you like something to eat or not yet?" She gave him a teasing smile knowing that with a vodka hangover, the last thing you wanted to do was eat eggs or smell them for that matter. This was Irina's own small punishment for him and he saw it for what it was, a first step.
"Not yet, but thank you for the offer. I'll stick with the coffee for now." He leaned heavily against the counter as she brushed past him towards the fridge. Her wet hair and the skin of her arm brushing against his bare chest sending another shiver down south. She hadn't missed the look of desire in his eyes when she'd first stepped into the house. This was another hit preparing to sink his ship that was this new game of silent Battleship she was playing. Of course, she would eventually win the game because he was not allowed to play. He'd lost that right last night.
Irina started gathering things from the fridge and Jack stepped out of the way as Sydney moved to stand in between them, essentially pushing her father into the corner and away from her mother.
"I'll help you, Mom. Tell me what you need me to do." Sydney offered.
When breakfast was ready, Irina tested herself again and let out a frustrated sigh. "This is ridiculous." She said under breath, preparing another syringe of insulin.
"Mom, what's wrong?" Sydney turned around from where she was sitting on a breakfast stool eating.
"My numbers are all over the place this morning. I suppose it's because I didn't eat until so late last night." Irina flicked the syringe the best she could while holding onto Lena who was still eating. "This is the second time in the last five hours I've had to take insulin." She sighed frustrated that her new condition was such a pain to deal with.
"Let me help you." Sydney motioned for the syringe and Irina handed it over. "Where should I?"
Irina turned around so that her back was to Sydney, "Here." Irina reached her one free arm around her back and pulled down her bikini bottoms just enough to reveal the beginning soft curve of one butt cheek.
"Anywhere in that region as long as it's got some cushion. If I have to jam that syringe in my abs again…I hate needles." She shifted her weight on her heels; suddenly aware Sydney hadn't injected her yet. Irina threw her hair over her shoulder trying to look at her daughter. "Sydney, what is it?"
"Mom, what is this? Is this…?" Sydney couldn't tear her eyes from the faded blue Cyrillic symbols and numbers etched into the skin just above Irina's gluteus.
Irina's face was suddenly ashen in color as the others' at the table interests peaked and caught a glimpse of what Sydney was looking at.
"Is that a tattoo?" Weiss squinted from the far side of the table.
Irina closed her eyes for a moment and sighed, she'd completely forgotten about it when directing Sydney to a location for injection. She'd always been thankful that it was there, on her backside and somewhere she wasn't forced to look at it everyday and with time, it'd become a part of her, who she was and what she came from.
"Yes." She answered quietly turning her face away from the table. "In the Soviet Gulag system, every prisoner was tattooed with an identification number to identify the body in the event of…" She let the thought die on her lips, "That was mine."
Jack found it hard to swallow. How had he never seen it before? All the times since her return that he'd seen her naked. But then again, it was always in the cover of darkness when he'd seen her backside. Or in the light of day, hidden perfectly by her underwear line.
They'd all known this had been the practice of the Soviets, as it was with the Germans during the Holocaust when they put people into concentration camps. They'd never seen it before, this close, this personal.
Sydney ran her finger gently over the long list of blue letters and numbers with tears in her eyes.
Irina's hand found Sydney's and stopped the motion.
"It's ok, Sweetheart." Irina squeezed them gently offering a small smile over her shoulder. "It's just a tattoo."
"But it's not just a tattoo." Sydney looked up at her with glistening eyes thinking of the horror Irina went through in Kashmir and now to find out she had a permanent physical reminder was too much. Her mind instantly and easily jumped to the image of Irina just after they'd taken her out of solitary. Kendall's comment about how Irina had looked like a 'Holocaust survivor' because she was so terrible thin, bones jutting out of her body. Sydney's mind flashed to the films of WWII and piles of dead Jews who'd been starved and beaten to death in the concentration camps, their identification numbers tattooed into the forearms of their bodies. Flashing back to the present looking directly at the one in her mother's flesh and how easily Irina could have been one of those corpses on a pile.
Irina turned to face Sydney fully, "Sydney, look at me." She used her free hand to force Sydney's face to look her in the eye. "I'm okay. I'm not there anymore. That tattoo cannot hurt me."
"Why didn't you have it removed?" Sydney snapped out of her daze to ask the obvious.
"Because even with a laser removal, a physical scar is left behind; marking the spot where the tattoo had once been, reminding me of what used to be there. So why not leave the original?" She used her thumb to gently wipe away the fallen tears on Sydney's cheek. "It's become a part of me now, part of who I am and how I became the person I am today. When I look at that tattoo, like with any scar on my body, I'm reminded of what I'm capable of overcoming and also of the mistakes I never want to make again. Now enough of this depressing talk," Irina leaned forward and kissed Sydney's cheek quickly before turning her back once again to her daughter. "I need that insulin before I pass out, please?"
Sydney pulled down the edge of the swimsuit once again revealing the tattoo and carefully slid the needle in.
"Thank you." Irina turned and smiled, "Now let's eat."
An awkward silence had befallen the group so Weiss took the initiative and changed to a subject that brought smiles to everyone: Lena.
Jack for the most part, remained silent on the opposite side of the table only smiling as they discussed his youngest. It was abundantly clear that Sydney was still upset about last night and he wasn't sure where he stood with Irina.
"Jack and I thought we'd combine two occasions and have Lena baptized on Christmas Eve if that's ok for the both of you?" Irina gathered up her plate when they were finished and set it on the counter. "And Marshall of course. You're still planning on coming to St. Petersburg for Christmas aren't you?"
"Yeah of course, I wouldn't miss it for anything." Weiss smiled and help gather the rest of the plates. "This is the year my parents visit my sister and her husband in Australia so I'd be at home, alone with my pathetic Charlie Brown Christmas tree. So I will gladly accept that offer."
Irina smiled brightly and turned to Vaughn, "And you?"
"I've already made plans to go Paris on Friday. To spend some time with my mom," He stood quietly adding, "I'll grab a morning flight on the following Thursday from there and should arrive sometime late on the 23rd, if that's ok?"
"Yes, of course that's ok." Irina squeezed his upper arm with a small smile. "Please, extend the invitation to your mother that I would he honored if she would join us as well. I've never had the pleasure of meeting her." She added quietly, "From what your father told me, she is an incredible woman."
"She is." Vaughn responded resolutely.
"I second that." Weiss nodded in agreement remembering the first time he'd met her when he and Vaughn were in college. He was stunned to come back to their dorm room and find the beautiful blonde French woman sitting on his bed.
At the time, he had no idea who she was only that she was the most incredibly beautiful 'mother' he'd seen in his life time up to that point.
To this day, her beauty could only be rivaled by one other mother, Irina Derevko.
"She's a lot like you, I think, without the whole 'dangerous I could kill you with my bare hands' thing." His tone faded at both Irina and Vaughn's looks.
"Really," Irina traced her bottom lip with her finger in thought, "Interesting."
"I haven't had the chance to meet her either." Sydney realized suddenly that she'd known Vaughn for sometime now, had a deep relationship with him and had yet to meet his mother. And there had been a reason for that; her mother had supposedly killed his father. Not exactly the best of terms in which to bring a girl home and introduce to your mother, the daughter of the woman who'd killed your husband.
"About that," Vaughn resumed his seat next to Sydney. "I'd really like it if you would come with me to Paris. To meet my mother. She's been asking when she was going to get to meet you. I think now is a good time."
"Vaughn are you sure?" Sydney asked almost breathless. "What about-"
"Yes. I'm sure." He took hold of her hand and squeezed her fingers. "I think she's ok with it now, with what happened with my dad. She's accepted it. Come to some sort of peace, I think. She took it better then I did." He looked down at his hands, "She was shocked of course. But once she got over the hurt and anger, she realized that my father married her because he loved her, no ulterior motives." He glanced up briefly at Irina. "Knowing that he tried to get back to us I think has helped to reassure her that he really did love us."
"He did." Irina spoke quietly remembering Mikhail's face, smiling with joy when he told her of his family.
"Ok." Sydney gave him a small smile, "I'll go with you." She paused and looked from her mother to her father, "But, I'll have to meet you there."
"Why?" Vaughn looked at her curiously as did Jack and Weiss.
"I'm going to Moscow with Mom for a couple of days." She slumped down in her chair like a small child in trouble when she saw her father's eyes flash to Irina.
"Moscow? You're going back to Russia? Now?" Jack's eyes bore deep into Irina's dark eyes, afraid that she was leaving him as a result of last night.
"Katya called me last night. I need to take care of a few things for business." Irina ran thumb over the baby's ear nervously averting her eyes from Jack to Sydney and then smiled. "I know that you have to take care of some business things of your own in LA, so I asked Sydney to join me for a couple of days so that we can spend some time together."
"So you're not coming home to Los Angeles with us?" Jack asked quietly, internally wondering if she thought of it as their home anymore.
"Not right now, no." She added softly, "I haven't been home to Russia in months now, there are a lot of things…people that need my attention. I was going to talk about it with you later. I wasn't just going to take the baby and leave if that's what you're worried about."
"No." Jack jumped in, not wanting to head down the path of mistrust again. "I didn't think you would." He walked to the coffee pot and poured another cup, "So when are you leaving?" He tried his best not to show how upset he was. Irina was pulling away and he couldn't do anything about it. She needed some space and as much as he hated the thought of being without her for even a day, he wouldn't fight her on it. The first step in showing he trusted her.
"As soon as I hear from Dubey." Irina looked at the clock, "I'm supposed to meet him in an hour. If you want to come along, I won't object." Her tone was defeated as she thought about last night.
"That won't be necessary." He replied immediately surprising Irina and the others, "I'll stay here with Lena. I'd like to spend some time with her before you leave for Russia." He placed his hand over the baby's back with a sad smile as Irina held the sleeping child.
"Alright." Irina passed the baby off to Jack gently, kissing the baby's ear once she was securely in her father's arms. "We should get going." Irina turned and tied the sarong around her hips again. "I think we'll take the boat so you don't have to wear the suits today." She gave Weiss and Vaughn a smile. "Sydney, aren't you coming?" She asked when Sydney made no attempt to move from her stool.
"No, I think I'm going to stay here with Dad and Lena." The look she gave Irina meant she intended to speak with Jack about something, which Jack caught as well.
"Ok, we'll see you guys in a little while." Irina smiled and stepped through the glass doors followed by Weiss and Vaughn.
"So we're taking the boat." Weiss looked around the beach seeing no dock anywhere and wondering where exactly they were headed.
"Yes, and right on time." Irina smiled as a large high-powered speedboat came flying towards them. Within seconds of sight, the boat was slowing down as it arrived at the shore.
Irina waded into the water and took the outstretched hand of the small native man who'd been driving as he helped her into the boat. She spoke rapidly with him in his native language as Weiss and Vaughn climbed aboard.
The little man with an enormous smile greeted the two men before he took the co-pilots seat and Irina took over control of the driving.
"Nice name for the boat." Weiss smirked as he took a seat having noticed the name painted on the back of the boat when they climbed aboard, Man-Eater.
"It's an appropriate name wouldn't you agree?" Irina gave him a Cheshire cat grin from behind her sunglasses, checking the guns the little man handed her from a black waterproof case. Meeting her approval, she tucked one into the back of her bikini and sarong and within seconds they were heading up the coastline at full-throttle.
*Daughters*
Jack thought briefly about taking Lena outside to sit on the patio but decided against it as the temperature outside now was sweltering again. Staying indoors with air-condition was a much better idea.
"Sydney," Jack sat on the couch opposite of the one Sydney had sank into just moments previous, "I want to apologize to you for my behavior towards you last night." He looked up at her with sorrowful eyes. "I shouldn't have grabbed your arm like that and I'm sorry."
"For just your behavior toward me and not your behavior in general? Not your behavior towards mom?" She gave him a fierce look that he'd seen too many times in the last few years. "Have you apologized to her?"
"I'll admit that my behavior towards your mother was less then outstanding last night, but that's separate from you and I, Sydney." Jack turned the baby in his arms as she was waking up. "That's between your mother and me."
"No, it isn't, Dad." Sydney tucked her legs underneath her, shaking her head with unshed tears. "The way you treat mom, the things you say to her and the way she reacts to you…that directly affects Lena and I. Can't you see that? If I had been in mom's place last night, and it had been Vaughn that was saying those things to me, treating me, the way you treated her…If I just stood there and took it like mom did, let him berate me and take my love for him and throw it back in my face… How would that make you feel, Dad? Because after all, isn't that what you're teaching us, your daughters, that it's ok for a man to treat a woman that way because that's the way you treat our mother?"
"Sydney, I-" Jack began an attempt to defend himself but was cut off.
"No, Dad, let me finish." Sydney said forcefully and then took a calming breath. "Whether you realize it or not, as our father, you are the one whom we, as your daughters, have our first male relationship. You are the one who establishes how we will view men and relationships for the rest of our lives. You are the first and most important male influence that we will ever have." She paused knitting her fingers together as she looked at her hands. "Watching how you treat our mother, relate to her, is how we end up believing the way we should be treated by men. You establish the first relationship we have of trust and love and respect with a man. Above all else, we should know that you are always the one male in our lives we can count on for that love, and trust. Trust not to hurt us, or the ones we love. We learn how to have relationships, how to treat and be treated in them, from you, Dad. Last night," She paused thinking about what she'd seen and heard. "The way you treated mom…there was no respect, or trust or love. It scared me. Because if the most important man in our life lets us down on those principles, why would we expect anything else from every other man?"
Jack didn't know what to say looking from Sydney's tear stained cheeks down the wide-eyed baby in his lap.
"I know that your relationship with mom isn't exactly easy after everything that's happened," She sighed and sank back into the suede cushions. "When I was little, I remember the way you treated mom. It was so beautiful, so full of love and respect even when you were angry with each other, you always found a way to work it out without destroying each other's feelings in the process." She looked up to meet Jack's eyes, whom to her surprised held unshed tears as well. "I wanted to marry someone just like you, someone to treat me as special as you treated my mommy; it's why every little girl wants to marry their daddy. I'm telling you this because I don't think you really understand the correlation of the way you communicate with mom and how it affects us. I'm old enough now to understand that this situation is complicated with the two of you. But I also want Lena to be able to have that relationship with you, both of you, that I had when I was little, the relationship I was looking for in my own life ever since. As your child, I am apart of mom, and I am a part of you. When mom hurts you, she hurts me. And when you hurt mom, you hurt me, too. Do you understand?"
"Yes," Jack answered softly, finally understanding. "I guess I've never looked at it that way before. Looked at it from your point of view as my daughter and as our child and I'm sorry. I should have." He looked back down to Lena who was grasping his little finger with her tiny hand staring intently at him as he spoke. "I guess when you become a parent, you think about all the things you have to teach your child like manners, how to take care of themselves, how to ride bikes and do their homework. And it seems that many times, we forget that the most important things we teach our children are learned when we aren't even aware as you've just pointed out." He got up from his position on the couch and made his way over to sit next to Sydney, wrapping one arm around her shoulder as he cradled Lena in the other. "Sydney, its easy to forget as a father sometimes, just how important his relationship is to his daughter. What I mean is," He paused a moment to try and put into words what he felt, "It's easy for fathers to forget how important their relationship with their daughter is, because of how important and close the relationship of a mother and daughter is. We tend to believe, and for the most part it is true, that the most important things our daughters learn about life, come from their mothers and the relationships they have with them." He pulled Sydney into his side and dropped a kiss to her hair, "I apologize to you, and to your sister for the way I treated your mother last night. And you're right, I would be irate if anyone ever spoke to you, treated you or Lena like I did your mother. I'm sorry. And it's been noted in the past that where your mother is concerned, I have a hard time being rational. I let my own jealousy; my insecurities get in the way of what is most important. She deserves better and I'm ashamed of the way I treated her."
"So start thinking of ways to make it up to her!" Sydney said in all seriousness that caused Jack to laugh, which got a small smile out of Sydney. "I'm serious, Dad. You're scared you're going to lose her again and you're letting your fear take over and by doing that, you're pushing her away."
"You've been spending too much time in Barnett's office." Jack playfully nudged her with a small smile thinking about the CIA psychologist they'd both been ordered to see when Irina reappeared in their lives. "You're far too perceptive."
"Well, I am a trained investigator." Sydney wiped her tears with a smile.
"I know, and you're right. It took some serious action on your mother's part to make me see that unfortunately." Jack frowned at the thought, "It's my turn to prove to her how committed I am to making this work now, forever and always. Because she's it, Sydney. She knows that and I know that. There is no one else for either of us. And if taking it slow and giving her space is what she needs right now, I'll respect her wishes. I'll spend everyday for the rest of my life proving myself worthy of her love."
Sydney just stared at him. She couldn't believe how open he was being with her about his feelings.
"What is this look you're giving me? What Sydney?" Jack reached Lena's pacifier on the coffee table as she began to get fussy.
"Are you sure you're still not drunk?" Sydney looked deeply into his eyes causing Jack to laugh out loud.
"No, Sydney, I'm not still drunk." He shifted Lena in his arms again so that he could look at her face to face as she sucked with certain ferociousness on the small rubber substitute. "I'm just being honest with my daughter who reminds me everyday just how grown up and mature she is. Dr. Barnett has taught me a thing or two these last couple of years about expressing my feelings and reminds me, as you do, that you're not a child anymore and I shouldn't treat you as such." He laughed gently swaying his knees back and forth to rock Lena from side to side.
"I appreciate that." Sydney wrapped her arm around Jack's shoulders and kissed his cheek with a smile.
"Since we're having a father daughter heart-to-heart about relationships, earlier, when you were talking about looking for a relationship like your mother's and mine…you used past-tense." He turned slowly to look her in the eye, "Does that mean you found what you were looking for? With Vaughn?"
The corners of Jack's lips turned up when he saw the flicker of light in Sydney's eyes at the mentioning of Vaughn's name. She was caught off guard by her father's forward questioning.
"I had something like it with Danny." Tears started pooling in her eyes thinking about her fiancé who had died so tragically at Soane's hand. "And I never thought I would feel this way again when I lost him…but I do, and yet it's different with Vaughn."
"Sydney, no two relationships are ever the same but," Jack took a deep breath not believing himself that they were having this conversation. "I know that you're mother is the one for me because whenever we're apart, I can't stop thinking about the next time I get see her again. Every minute we're apart feels like I'm holding my breath and the next week without her is going to be torture. Since the first day we met, she's been the first person I think about when I wake up and the last before I sleep…even during her twenty-year absence. She knows me better then I know myself and every time I see her smile," He smiled at Sydney thinking about it, "I fall that much more in love with her."
Sydney was smiling from ear to ear hearing her father talk about her mother like this.
"She's my equal in every way and what we lack in ourselves, we find in each other. We complete one another. So if you have something like that with Vaughn," He looked into her eyes, "Then you've found what you were looking for."
"Yes." She smiled with happy tears in her eyes. "Vaughn is my equal."
"Then I'm very happy for you." He returned the smile.
"Thank you." Sydney breathed a sigh of relief. She never in a million years would have imagined a conversation like this going so well. "Dad, you know how I suggested you start thinking of ways to make it up to mom?"
"Yes." Jack eyed her suspiciously, feeling a bit lighter himself having had this conversation.
"Well, I think if you told her, what you just told me about how you feel about her. It would go along way in helping your cause." She smiled as she got off the couch to make Lena a bottle. "Women like to hear what makes them special from time to time. And have you ever 'told' her any of that? How you know that she's the one for you?"
Jack sat a moment and thought, 'No, he hadn't ever actually told her any of that.' His furrowed eyebrows at his own disappointment for never having done such, was all the answer Sydney needed.
*Don't*
"So I'll see you Saturday, right?" Vaughn asked putting the remainder of their bags into the back of the awaiting limo. "And you'll call me when you land?"
"Yes, to meeting you in Paris on Saturday and yes, I'll call you as soon as we land." Sydney smiled as she watched him pick up his own bag and throw the strap over his shoulder.
They were taking separate limos to the airports. Vaughn, Weiss and Jack were all catching flights back to LA on a commercial airline and Sydney, Irina and Lena were taking Irina's jet to Moscow.
"Have a good time with your mom, ok?" He ran his hand down her cheek then brushed her hair behind her ear. He knew how badly Sydney needed this time to make more memories with Irina after all the time they'd lost.
"I will, you too." She leaned up and kissed him soundly thinking about the discussion she'd had with her father about him.
Jack watched from the doorway holding Lena in her car seat while Irina finished her one last inspection of the house before she closed it up.
"You've got everything?" He asked quietly watching her lock the doors, feeling awkward about how he was going to say goodbye.
"Yes. All clear." She picked up the diaper bag and slung it over her shoulder.
"Call me when you land, okay?" Jack asked walking slowly with Irina down the steps and path to the waiting cars where the others were waiting. "The weather channel said Moscow was getting hit hard with snow and I just want to make sure that you landed okay."
Irina smiled at his concern, "I will…and I'll let you know the moment I hear any news from Dubey." She glanced briefly at Jack and then away.
When she'd met with Dubey earlier in the day he could only tell her that Zamir had recently been in Kuala-Lumpur and then onto Hong Kong but after that he seemed to vanish. No one had seen him in the last two weeks. Dubey promised to keep looking and let her know the moment he found the trail again.
When they reached the door of the car Jack handed the car seat to Irina.
"So I guess this is 'Goodbye." He gave her a small smile and bent over softly kissing his daughter's head.
"Not goodbye, but goodnight." Irina offered him a small smile, reaching out to squeeze his hand; "We'll see you in a little less then a week, right?"
"Right." Jack returned the smile but wouldn't release Irina's hand. They stare at each other for a moment, neither wanting to break the contact.
"You need to get going. You don't want to miss your flight." Irina finally pulled her hand away and blinked back the tears she would not allow to fall, not allow him to see. "Have a safe flight, Jack." She turned and placed her hand on the door handle.
Jack hesitated for a moment but knew he couldn't let her leave like this. Not when they hadn't had a chance to talk; he grabbed her arm softly and just as quickly as she turned her face his mouth landed softly against hers. His free hand cupped the side of her face to momentarily hold it there, savoring the contact before quickly releasing her.
Irina stood momentarily frozen as she watched him walk backwards to the other car.
"I'll see you in a week." He stated with a small nod and disappeared into the dark car.
*Red Square*
Moscow- Red Square
"Nice view." Sydney looked out the window at the dramatic landscape before flopping onto the big bed in Irina's penthouse apartment.
The beautiful modern space overlooked Red Square and the Kremlin.
"Too bad it's freezing outside! Talk about culture shock, going from Indonesia and 100+ degrees to Russia and single digits!"
"At least the snow has stopped…and you're speaking in Russian?" Irina returned in Russian looking at Sydney curiously. She placed Lena on the bed next to Sydney and began rummaging around in her closet.
"Well, I figured when in Russia speak Russian." Sydney shrugged continuing on in Russian. "Isn't that what Katya told Sophia about speaking in Italian? Besides, it isn't fair to make you speak in English all the time." She rolled over to play with Lena and watch Irina.
"I went over a decade without speaking any Russian. English comes just as naturally to me now though I appreciate the consideration." She threw a smile back at Sydney while she began pulling various sweaters out of the doors finding nothing she wanted to wear.
"But English isn't the your first choice of language is it? You speak to Lena in Russian without even thinking about it." Sydney wrapped the blanket around her sister's foot poking out making sure she was staying warm.
"Yes that's true, on both accounts. But your father and I discussed how we'd handle Lena's language already. I'll speak with her in Russian and he in English until she's fluent in both. You, My Love," She brushed Sydney's chin with her fingers on the way by, "May speak to her in any language you'd like. The more languages she's exposed to early on, the easier it will be for her to learn them later."
"Well, you could always use the Project Christmas training on her." Sydney raised an eyebrow at her mother.
"Absolutely not!" Irina wheeled around from where she was standing at the closet. "I never wanted your father to use it on you! The last thing I want is another child in this line of business. You've caused me enough worry for three life times."
"Just checking." Sydney smiled in return and Irina shook her head with a smile knowing Sydney had just 'yanked her chain' as the Americans liked to say. "And for the record I like to hear you speak in Russian." She smiled shyly looking down at her sister. "Though your accent in English is fun too. Especially when you say 'idgiot,' or 'sabo-tage." Sydney looked up smiling brightly and then laughed as Irina shook her head smiling as well.
"Yes, I suppose my accent has crept back into my English after speaking predominantly in Russian for the last twenty years." Irina moved to a high chest of drawers and quickly began pulling out clothes then looked up and stopped with an enormous smile on her face. "One of my most favorite memories of you as a child was when you were about two, you couldn't pronounce certain letters together like, your own name for example, you would say, 'Synny' and it wasn't Spiderman, but 'piderman." Irina laughed picturing two-year old Sydney. "One day after church, where you'd just learned about being Christian, you pronounced to everyone on the way out, 'Synny a Kisstin!' You were so proud!" She smiled, "Digging in this closet reminds me of a time your father and I had to go to a formal ball at some country's embassy, I don't recall but it's not important. What was important at the time was the little bug you found in my shoe while you were sitting in there under all the hanging clothes while I was getting dressed. You came tearing out of there and clung onto my leg screaming, 'Bug Mama bug bug!' I knelt down next you on the floor to find this 'traumatic bug' and out flew a little bee!" Irina giggled, "You jumped right into my lap so quickly and started screaming again, 'Bug bug bug!' Again with your arms around my neck clinging for dear life!"
Sydney was laughing too, having never heard this story. Many were erased in Project Christmas.
"I calmed you down and explained that it was a 'bee' that flew out of my shoe. From that moment on, every bug we encountered was labeled a bee!" She laughed, and smiled so brightly at the memory. "That's also when I started calling you my little Sugar Bug. Because you'd been in there eating jellybeans." Irina looked at Sydney with a warming glow, remember her daughter so many years before.
"Hey, I think I remember that! You calling me, Sugar Bug." Sydney's eyes went bright hearing her mother say those words again, in her voice. "And I remember Cinderella, too. What was it that dad always called me?"
"Runtberry." Irina laughed remembering as well.
"Yes, that's it!" Sydney's eyes sparkled as she recalled moments she'd long thought forgotten. "But I still don't understand where in the world he came up with that one? Of all nicknames to give a little girl? Runtberry?"
"Sydney, when you were really little you loved everything to do with Strawberry Shortcake. You had the dolls, and baby stroller with all the characters from the television story printed on it like…Oh, what was his name?" Irina traced her lip with her finger thinking back, "Oh yes, The Purple Pie Man." She smiled, "You were so into that show and your dolls that you wouldn't eat anything for weeks but strawberries. Your father told you that you were going to turn into one if you kept eating so many. Then he'd have to start calling you, Runtberry as a little 'runt of a girl' who ate only berries and turned into one! So from then on, you were his 'Little Runtberry."
Irina smiled widely remembering Jack's face when he'd found Sydney sitting next to an open fridge, completely covered in sticky red strawberry juice as she'd eaten the whole container of strawberry jello. Jack was mad at the time but she thought it was too funny and had to take a picture while he hosed off a naked Sydney in the lawn. 'Wonder where that photograph went to?' Irina's mind wandered.
"So you just have closets full of beautiful clothes waiting for you all around the world?" Sydney watched as Irina pulled on a pair of black slacks and matching high turtleneck made of Angora bunny hair. "Sure saves time on packing." Sydney threw another teasing smile at Irina.
"Yes, the perfect setup for a woman who's always on the move." Irina smiled in the mirror at Sydney as she pulled her hair up. "Alright," Irina finished and pulled a beautiful black fur coat and hat out of the hall closet. "This shouldn't take more then an hour or two and then I'll be back to pick the two of you up for dinner, ok? I thought I'd take you to one of my favorite restaurants here in the Square." She slid her arms into the beautiful coat.
"Dinner in the Red Square." Sydney repeated out loud as though she were pondering something. The arch in her eyebrow gave her away.
"What is it?" Irina walked over to the bed and picked up a pair of gloves with a curious smile.
"Nothing." She tried to shrug it off and then laughed seeing Irina's look, "It's just this is the first time I've been here non-mission related."
"I'll pretend I didn't hear that." Irina gave her a mock glare with her own furrowed eyebrows and a smile. "Alright, I need to go and when I get back, I want to know what happened with Michael that has you glowing from ear to ear." Irina smiled at Sydney's look of surprise.
"Ok," Sydney smiled thinking about how happy she was in this moment. In Russia, with her mother, non-mission related and talking about the man she loved.
"Ok." Irina leaned over and kissed the baby and then Sydney's cheek. "Oh, and Sydney," She paused at the door. "Could you please call your father and let him know we landed safely? He was worried about the snow storm."
"Didn't he want you to call?" Sydney knew what she was doing, avoiding.
"Sydney," Irina sighed, her daughter was too much like her. Wasn't afraid to call people on what they were really saying or doing. "Please, just call him for me? I would but I'll be late for the meeting."
"Sure Mom, whatever you say." Sydney smiled seeing her mother flustered, something she rarely if ever witnessed. Only her father had the power to unnerve Irina Derevko.
"I love you." Irina smiled, "Thank you."
"I love you, too and you're welcome." Sydney sighed as she watched the door close. "I suppose we should prepare ourselves for the disappointment we're bound to hear in dad's voice when he realizes mom's not calling." Sydney smiled down at the baby who was now fixated on the brilliant lights of the Christmas tree in the corner. 'Who does all the decorating around her anyway?' She thought to herself as she dialed the familiar number.
"Hello?" Jack answered quickly recognizing that the call was being made from Russia on his caller ID. He'd gone straight to work after landing in LA, not wanting to go home and face and empty house and the paparazzi he learned were still camping out around the block.
"Dad…Hi, its me…Sydney." She could hear him literally deflate on the other end of the line.
"Sydney, of course. How are you? Is everything ok? Your mother said she would call me when you landed." He rolled back in his office chair, looking at the framed photo of Sydney, Irina and a newborn Lena on his desk.
"Yeah, everything's great. We're all fine. We got in late and mom had just enough time to change before she had to rush off to her meeting with Putin." Sydney stood and looked outside, now dark with the cover of night that came so early in this part of the world in winter. The beauty of St. Basil's lit up at night in the snow, was breathtaking. "I'm looking down at the Kremlin right now." She smiled.
Jack knew Irina was avoiding talking to him, and to be honest he wasn't quite sure what he would say to her either when she called. He thought about what he would say to her the next time he talked with her the entire flight back to LA.
"You didn't go with her?" He asked absentmindedly, his thoughts somewhere else.
"Um no, Dad. I don't think it would be a very good idea for me, as an officer of the CIA, to enter the Kremlin." She couldn't believe he'd ask that, he really must be flustered. "No matter who mom is, that'd be a terrible idea."
"Yes, of course. I don't know why I asked that." Jack sat forward and rested his elbows on the desk, rubbing his temple.
"Maybe because you're too distracted thinking about mom?" Sydney smiled on the other end of the phone.
"Sydney." Jack sighed, his daughter was relentless, deciding it was best to drop it and change the subject, "So what are you three up to this evening? It's dark there already isn't it?" He glanced at this watch.
"Yes, it is. The five hours of daylight have come and gone." Sydney watched the people below moving about the Square, coming in and out of shops. "We're going to eat at some restaurant that's one of mom's favorites, I guess when she's done with whatever she's doing at the Kremlin. That's still hard for me to believe even standing here in her apartment looking down at it."
"Yes, I'm sure it's unbelievable to witness first hand. Just thinking about it," Jack paused in thought, "I can't seem to grasp the full concept of it yet. Apparently it's become knowledge this week that your mother was KGB and married me, a CIA officer while on assignment. Kendall informed me before we landed that the house was swarming with photographers and news cameras all wanting to get the story first. It's just ridiculous. We're going to have to do something."
"Are you ok, Dad? You sound tired. You're at work aren't you?" Sydney sighed as she picked up her sister and walked into the large living room. "Dad, go home and get some sleep."
"Sydney, don't worry about me. I'll be ok and have lots of work to do so I better get going." He lied but didn't want to tell her he didn't think he was going to be able to sleep at all in that big empty bed waiting for him at home. "Give your sister…and your mother… a kiss from me please?"
"Ok, I will." She smiled.
"And Sydney, have a wonderful time with her." He smiled softly looking back at the photograph of his three girls. "I love you."
"I love you too." She added softly before hanging up. "Oh, Lena, Dad's got the blues. Appropriate punishment for his behavior I think, but unfortunately it punishes mom as well." She furrowed her eyebrows at the thought. "We'll have to make sure and smother her with lovin' and hugs for the next few days, alright partner." She waved the finger Lena clutched tightly back and forth. "Speaking of loving, I need to call Vaughn."