Update: Tweaked/rewritten October 2020. Previously titled: Acceptance
Dealing with It
"So, tell me what happened again?" FS asked, rubbing his temples as another migraine pounded behind his eyes. How can such competent people turn out to be so hopeless? "And keep it in chronological order this time, Wrath." Three of the remaining Sins were sitting in the SIN-ED medical room. It was much like the scene from before, except Sloth was the one lying incarcerated in the bed and Stray was standing in the doorway perfectly healthy. Fortunately, Sloth lived, but being stuck in a coma until further notice didn't exactly mean he was useful. Too little oxygen to the brain was the main reason for the life support machine, but stupidity and pride was the real reason the Sin was lying in the bed.
"We were about to steal the final materials when Sloth literally jumped out of the car," Wrath explained. "He was complaining about something, but, honestly, I have no idea what." The boy shrugged, shifting sideways on the armrest when FS's elbow nearly hit him. "So, he jumped out and just walked off. Gluttony tried to call him back, but he just waved us off. Quite rudely, actually."
"Jaeger, what happened next?" FS asked, trying to hear things from both comrades. Wrath had a tendency to put things out of order and Stray was notorious for being vague. One way or another he would get the truth.
"We got the materials next and when we returned to look for Sloth, he was long gone," Stray said, staring at the floor as he leaned against the doorframe. Exhaustion and frustration were only two of his emotions.
Sadness was a big one too.
"Why didn't you chase after him to begin with?"
"We scheduled our break-in around when they changed their security and that time was coming up fast. Besides, I honestly didn't think he'd run off."
"You didn't think Sloth would go anywhere?" FS emphasized, knowing that particular Sin did have a rebellious streak every now and then despite his obvious laziness.
"Especially because it was Sloth."
FS sighed, getting to his feet—knocking Wrath off the chair in the process—and walking over to the window. Wrath said a few unfriendly words, but no one paid any attention. "Then what?"
"Well," Wrath began after he composed himself and sat down in the chair once FS has left. "We searched the area, heard some gunshots, and came in on Sloth spilling his guts to our favorite assassins. Not in the emotional sense, of course."
"Of course," FS muttered, merely humoring the boy, but then mentally kicking himself for doing it. That Sin had a big enough ego already.
"Then, I took Sloth back to the car, heard the cops coming, sped over to Gluttony, and we high-tailed it outta there. Oh, without the girls though."
"Yes, I think I realized that much, thank you." FS sighed again, wishing the headache would go away, but knowing that as long as the Sins were being so childish he would be having plenty of migraines. "Now Wrath, please go join Kross at the car. I'm sending you two along with the cargo to outer space. Some EA officers will meet you on the moon. Kross knows the details."
"We're working with the EA again?" FS nodded and Wrath shrugged, seemingly unperturbed by the news. "Alright, then what about Miato? I thought he was coming too?"
FS shook his head. "I'm moving him to a new assignment and I think it's going to be taking up a lot of his time," FS explained, waving Wrath out a moment later. He didn't seem to mind the change of plans which was working in FS's favor. The less the others knew of the games he was playing, the better.
Wrath passed by Stray, offered a small wink and then left the room, running down the hallway. A scream sounded from where the Sin had fled, making his remaining comrades sigh, knowing the exclamation could have been from anything—sexual harassment being the highest on the list.
Exhausted, FS turned to his friend looking guilty in the doorway. "Why did you let them go?"
"I didn't; they fled."
"You had your chance to bring both in. Why didn't you?"
"You said we weren't going to take Lexi by force. Besides, I still think—"
"You're still on that?"
Stray blinked. Having gotten worked up during his last response, he stopped further into the room with his arms outstretched and leaning over Sloth's bed. Mouth agape, he only managed a faint reply. "W-what?" Was this really FS standing in front of him? The one who promised him they would get Lexi back?
"You have to forget about that."
"Forget about what, Revelin?"
"Lexi; she's not coming."
That stung.
"What do you mean 'not coming?' You said—"
"Please, Jaeger," FS groaned, leaning over on the opposite side of the bed. Waiting for his comrade to reply, FS curled his hands into fists when a blank stare was his only response. "We can't trust her to—"
"What, you want me to kill her?" Stray interrupted, making fists of his own. Now he was going to give up? When they were so close?
"Do you want to kill her?"
"What kind of a question is that? Of course not, dumbass."
This time it was FS's turn to stare. Stray had never been so disrespectful—let alone swear at him. Sure, FS should've anticipated such retaliation, but the SIN-ED leader knew Lexi wasn't coming. There were more important things to worry about now. "At any rate, I'm sending you—"
"You're just going to change the subject?"
"Stop interrupting me." FS's look was sharp, and its meaning not lost on the stubborn chef. He knew when the brunette was serious even if some of the others had no idea. "I'm sending you to space with Wrath and Kross, so go get ready."
"What? Just like that"
"Your little masquerades are getting my people slaughtered. Lust and I will handle things down here while you babysit Wrath and the others up there."
"But Lexi is down here!"
"Damnit, if you say that one more time there'll be even more people wanting you disposed of." Silence. Who knew a simple statement could replace so much tension with the sickening sense of fear?
"Disposed of?" Stray asked, the statement squelching his anger for a moment. "Why would anyone—"
"Think about it; open your eyes and—y'know what? Better yet, just pack and follow Wrath into the shuttle. For some reason, that Sin is still attached to you and you should be taking advantage of that. Lay low while you're up there and I'll see you in a few months."
"A few months?"
"Maybe less, but we have a lot to work on down here yet. Not to mention we don't even have all the supplies."
"But I can still be of some help—"
"Jaeger, please, this is getting terribly repetitive. For once, just don't argue with me and go." Stray was about to respond, but FS silenced him with an outstretched hand and started leaving the room. If Stray really wanted to fight, he could do it at another time. Right then, FS was trying his hardest to keep everyone under control. Yes, certain members wanted Stray killed—and that was out of the question by FS's standards—but he could only do so much. They were down to four Sins: Pride, Gluttony, Wrath and Lust and the prospect of trying to find new replacements for the others made FS even more exhausted. Actually, he wasn't even sure if he was going to. No one else was eligible for the task—blame insanity and the large amount of youngsters for that one—so how could he put more people on the staff if they were going to do a half-assed job at best? Miato and Kross could fit in nicely, but neither of them wanted to step up. Most likely because they knew what had happened to their predecessors and the thought of getting dismembered wasn't so appealing. "A few months then," FS said to his comrade, patting him on the shoulder before exiting the room.
Stray watched him go, but made no movement to leave himself. It seemed so simple, and yet everyone was making it so complicated. Talk Lexi into joining SIN-ED. Not so hard, right? Hah, it didn't seem hard until Revelin had Roan killed, Stray had been obsessed with getting Lexi, but now that he was gone, no one else seemed to give a damn. Now look at what's happening, he continued, chewing on his bottom lip as he sat down on the edge of the bed. I'm getting blamed for something Revelin started in the first place. Cursing, the boy looked around at the empty room, his eyes resting on the medical machine off to his left. Lust and him are gonna stay here, huh? Damnit, all! Doesn't he realize Lust'll kill her for sure?
Stray didn't get angry often, so when he did, people in the vicinity had better hope he wasn't in arms reach of his knife collection in the kitchen. Well, needless to say, he wasn't in the kitchen, but his anger still came on strong. "Revelin, you better not kill her. And you, shut the hell up!"Spinning, he side-kicked the life support machine and sent it spiraling away. The chords stretched and the alarms blared just before it crashed into the wall. "Stupid sonofa—" Stray cursed and stomped out of the room, ignoring the nurses and Miato as they pushed passed him. Obviously, Stray had done the damage, but no one bothered to accuse him of it.
Oh well, just another reason to add to the "why kill Gluttony" list.
"Each of you will have your own transport. More room for the mobile suits, and this way we can all having a relaxing flight. I'm sure we have things we want to think about individually and whatnot," Athrun explained. It was an impromptu meeting with the newly formed Zala Team in the same classroom they all met Le Creuset the day before. Fate, some may call it, but convenience was more like it.
"So nice of you to think of our psychological welfare," Yzak grumbled, shifting uncomfortably in his chair across from and to Athrun's left. Nicol sighed to Yzak's right while Dearka smirked from the other half of the room next to Eclipse. The redhead decided to stay neutral.
"We're heading out in four hours. Be packed, with your mobile suit in the carrier, by then. Understood?"
"Sir!" Nicol and Eclipse said immediately, saluting respectively.
"Yes, commander," Dearka added, spitting out the title.
"Yeah, yeah," the last soldier grumbled before following the previous three out the door.
Athrun watched them go sadly, angry about the predicament, but also knowing there was nothing he could do. Yzak would act like a delinquent as long as he felt necessary and Dearka would follow along like a good flunkie. Surprisingly, the blond was getting a personality—as far as Athrun could tell—but not enough to make him bearable. Sighing, the redcoat just scratched the back of his head and looked at the papers stacked in the folder near his left hand. Some of those papers were combat statistics from the previous battles, but most of the information was the stuff on Eclipse Commander Le Creuset never got around to explaining. Not much, but enough to make him nervous. Did he really want to know?
Would things between them change if he did?
"What the hell was that, Yzak?" Eclipse spat, shoving the hothead sideways into the wall. "Can we retire the diapers already and buy you some boxers?"
"Hey, watch it! I'm sick of his superior act—"
"He's our commander," the redhead stressed. "If he doesn't act like that, I might as well get you both some training underwear."
"Would you stop calling me a baby? I just hate that—"
"Yes, jealousy sucks."
"Enough," Nicol stepped in, turning and literally pulling the two apart. The conversation had gotten so heated they were practically face-to-face. Face-to-chest was a more accurate visual, but Nicol didn't feel like getting on Eclipse's bad side. Yzak was doing fine with that already. "Don't you think it's about time we started acting like a team?"
"Hmpf, it's not that easy," Yzak muttered, but still looked guilty for admitting it. Pride was a dangerous emotion and when combined with jealousy.
"Alright, alright, Nicol has a point," Dearka said, finally speaking up. "If we want to defeat the 'Legged Ship,' we have to start liking each other. Or at least agree on some form of toleration."
"The only ones who have issues are you two. So, yes, great advice, Dearka. Now, follow it." With that, Eclipse stormed off, leaving the rest of her team to wonder who shit in her omelet that morning.
"And now I'm thinking Athrun was on to something," the blond said first. "Perhaps we need some alone time after all." Eclipse usually wasn't the hothead of the group—hell, she usually wasn't even emotional—but knowing what she had been through recently, none of them could blame her for the sudden fit of rage.
Yzak nodded slowly and followed Dearka down the hall. Nicol sighed and shook his head. They all had to get their act together if they wanted to defeat that Earth Forces ship. "It's all so ridiculous."
"What's ridiculous?" Athrun asked, meeting the boy in the hallway. The folder of papers was slipped under his arm, but the grim smile on his lips said he knew—or at least guessed—what had happened. "Never mind; let's get ready for transport."
"You should've taken her for a test drive at least," the head mechanic said, standing next to Eclipse as she made some quick adjustments. "You haven't even gone walking in the thing."
The redhead sighed, and—despite her foul mood—replied calmly. "I know, a lot of things came up and now there's no time. I'll take it out when we reach Carpentaria. All the information's been transferred?"
"Sent and probably memorized by now."
"Good. Thanks."
"Yeah, sure, it's my job. I will admit, I really wanted to see this baby fly." Fixing his cap, the older man nodded a farewell and turned to go.
Eclipse thought she heard a sigh and before she could even stop herself, she became another victim of the famed word vomit. However, this kind didn't taste too bad. "I'll bring it around later. You'd better be here."
The mechanic laughed, stopping mid-step. Pivoting, he placed his hands on his hips and smiled. "I'll be around, but she'd better not have a scratch on her."
"Who, me or the Stealth?"
"The Stealth, of course," he said matter-of-factly. "I don't give a damn about you. I didn't make you. Pretty sure you're a prime example of why I haven't made any kids at all."
Eclipse laughed, the laptop nearly falling off her legs in the process at such a blunt comment. It could have been because of his choice of vocabulary, but the look on his face was priceless too. He was serious. She tried to respond, but resorted to more laughter the second he winked and walked away.
Maybe she would miss him after all.
"Coffee Addict, switching to outward maintenance. Ending OS walkthrough," the redhead muttered between grins. It was hard to stay professional when his joke was still echoing in the back of her mind.
"Stealth acknowledges. Closing all interior maintenance and awaiting further instructions," the mechanical voice replied, sounding a tad more stoic than the redhead remembered, but she wasn't about to complain. Perhaps she was just getting used to the monotone, or even on the verge of liking it. After all, monotone meant there was nothing emotional going on behind the scenes and that she could handle. There was so much emotional drama in her life now she was nearly drowning in it.
It was nice to be given the cold shoulder.
Letting out a slight groan, Eclipse got to her feet. While her wounds weren't bothering her too much, they were still there and noticeable. Her leg was giving her the most trouble, even offering a restless night for her troubles. While it had been healing nicely, she still had a slight limp, despite her hiding it when others were around. At that moment, a wince and a groan were warranted, and she had no one to blame but herself. SIN-ED had her running ragged lately and if it wasn't for her lack of energy—or even working appendages—she would be training, but instead she was having a playdate with her new suit and mechanical companion.
"Coffee Addict, I plan on making some adjustments to the wiring in the left arm and then fixing the energy output in the OS."
"Acknowledged." While the Hyper-impulse cannon was an impressive weapon to have, she honestly wasn't sure how often she'd use it. Yes, she never really took the Stealth out in battle yet, but if she was forced to use the positronic weapon, her battery would be drained to a point she wouldn't be comfortable with. She knew there was a way to decrease the cannon's power output as well as shift it to have a more practical use than just obliterating mobile suits. Overkill wasn't something she enjoyed. Well, at least her human side.
The Berserker loved it.
Maybe I could have it shoot electrons instead, she mused, hoisting the lift up the Stealth's left arm. Hey, that's it! Stopping, she stared at the elbow joint and smiled. A few adjustments here and there she'd be able to have an outward, energy transfer as well as a relatively powerful attack weapon. The whole thing could be controlled from the cockpit—which made things easier in a battle situation—but how she altered the energy output depended on how much battery life she wanted to lose on each execution. Not as strong of an attack, she admitted, deciding to decrease the output and save the battery, but having a taser might not be too bad. It'll only be for emergencies, after all. Nodding to herself, she began removing the armor panels near the joint, silently groaning when she saw all the wiring inside. If there was one thing she hated about fixing suits, was all the damned, colorful rubber tubes inside of them. However, it was amazing when by moving one or two wires, the suit could take serious damage. Hence Breck's BuCUE in the simulation. Snip and move the right tubes and, bam, there's a totaled unit. Muttering something under her breath, she reached inside and got creative.
Eclipse had no idea how long she had been working. In fact, she didn't even have a chance to look at the clock. Who knew it could take three hours to sort through an electrical labyrinth?
"Eclipse, have a minute?"
That startled her. Not only was she concentrating so hard the rest of the world had drowned out, but the voice was vaguely familiar. Turning around, she realized it was, in fact, terribly familiar. "Yzak?"
The Duel pilot looked reluctant to be there—embarrassed even—but why, she wasn't sure. However, the look wasn't really comforting. "I wanted to talk about what happened in the hallway."
"Okay—sure—hold on." Taking a few moments to reattach the metal plate she removed, Eclipse flipped some switches and slowly descended to the hanger floor. She wiped the sweat drops from her forehead before leaning on the railing, not bothering to completely leave the lift. After all, she planned on going back up.
Sighing, Yzak scratched the back of his head before crossing his arms over his chest and looking off to his right. "I'm sorry." Eclipse blinked, but didn't say anything. This was a surprise. "I know I can get a bit touchy when it comes to Athrun and—well—there was no reason for me to take it out on you."
"You didn't take it out on me, though. You do realize I was sticking up for Athrun, right?"
"Yes, I know, but you're right, I do take things out on him way too much."
What the hell? Eclipse thought, almost saying it aloud, but withheld the comment. Yzak was apologizing. To the wrong person maybe, but apologizing, nonetheless. Now she smiled. "Yes, you do, and you should really start thinking about that."
"I think about it—sure—but acting on it's another story. We've had a rivalry for a long time, you see, and—well—he won."
"He didn't win, Yzak."
"Yes, he did; think about it. Why did Commander Le Creuset choose him? What has he got, I don't?"
Eclipse sighed, really wishing she wasn't the one he had come to on this particular subject. What was she supposed to say? Well, the truth usually worked. "He has a calm head—for starters—and I might even say more experience, but that's not necessarily true. See, you act more on impulses and Athrun thinks things through a bit more. When facing the 'Legged Ship,' the commander was probably thinking we need more of a tactical leader than just one who relies on strength."
"So, you mean he chose Athrun not because he's better than me, but because he likes his methods for this situation better than mine?"
Eclipse nodded, smiling slightly at his change of appearance. He looked pleased with that explanation—thank goodness. Yzak would be a fine commander someday, the redhead knew, but when facing opponents with as much strength and skill as the Archangel¸ they couldn't afford to rely merely on luck and muscles. Finesse maybe, but not pure power.
"Alright, I guess that sounds logical."
"Glad to hear it. You'll back off then?"
The Duel pilot smiled then, more of a devilish smirk, but an interesting look nonetheless. "We're still rivals, Eclipse; I can't let him off so easily. If you're telling me he's only won round one, then I'm gonna win round two for sure. But," he began when the redhead sighed loudly, "I just might cut him a break. Might."
That's the most I can expect, I guess, she thought, but couldn't help but smile. Yzak could be a dick at times, but some moments—like now—he seemed like a whole different person. She knew he would never stop picking on Athrun, but toning it down was a good idea, especially if they were on the same team. Now they had to rely on one another and having fist fights every time a decision had to be made was going to get ridiculous, not to mention a huge leap backwards.
"So, you ready to take off? Since you seem tangled in all this wiring, I'm thinking not."
"H-huh? What time is it?"
"We're leaving in a half hour."
"W-what?"
"Yup, I'd get moving if I were you."
Wide-eyed, Eclipse nearly fell off the lift. Given, it was flat on the ground, but still a face plant on cement wasn't an appealing injury, especially since she had so many other scraps and bruises to worry about. "I take it you've already loaded the Duel?"
"For once, I was thinking ahead and you were the one stuck daydreaming."
"I wasn't daydreaming."
"Well, that's good to know." He smiled slightly and the redhead just cocked an eyebrow. This was a weird situation. "C'mon, I'll help you get this thing onto the carrier."
And it got weirder.
"You're going to help me?"
"Why, does that sound strange?"
"Only a bit." Sighing, Eclipse threw up her hands in defeat. Yzak didn't understand why his offer was causing so much confusion, the Stealth was only halfway through adjustments, and they had to be off this base in less than a half hour. She had no choice but to give in. "Coffee Addict, we're transferring to the carrier. We'll stabilize the left elbow in there and finish the OS when we reach Carpentaria. Our top priority is getting us off this base on time."
"Understood. Stealth heading out."
"Who the hell are you talking to?" the Duel pilot asked, deciding not to delve into her mental stability. The picture of that medic in Banadiya was still fresh in his mind. Quickly, he glanced around for any sharp objects and when his eyes rested on a few mechanic tools, he gulped. "You're not going psycho on me, are you?"
"Huh? Psycho?" Eclipse didn't have time to explain after that, her mobile suit taking a step forward on its way to the hangar exit.
"What the fu—" was all Yzak managed, having to dive out of the way before a huge, metal foot squashed him in his short moment of sentimentality. Either the Stealth was still getting used to moving on its own, or it didn't like anyone calling its pilot names. Considering the redhead's record, the comment was well placed, but the Stealth didn't know that yet. Well, it would know firsthand soon enough.
"I don't think my suit likes you."
"I-it's moving on its own?"
"Courtesy of my genius of a brother."
"You have a brother?"
She laughed and shook her head, hiding her wince as she attempted a jog to keep the Stealth in sight. "There's plenty about me you don't know, Yzak. C'mon, we'd better catch up to it."
"The flight is going to take a while, so get comfortable," was all Eclipse heard before the pilots got the carrier into the air. The Stealth was safely in the transport and, thanks to Yzak's helping hand, the left elbow joint was secure. If anything was to happen to them during the flight—a random encounter, for example—she could at least put up a decent fight without worrying about the unit falling apart on her.
Comforting.
Kind of.
Sitting down in one of the many offered seats, she just sighed. While some personal time may have been appreciated—needed even—for the other individuals on the team, Eclipse was starting to think otherwise. Probably, because she now had time to dwell on the things she was purposely avoiding. It was easy to forget her psychological instability when she was talking to her mobile suit, but now there was nothing but silence.
Accepting her lack of good fortune, she opened her laptop. There was some saved information from her previous searches—stuff on SIN-ED she said she would get to later—but still not enough to keep her occupied for the whole eight hours it would take to get to Carpentaria. Maybe I'll write Namarra a letter, she mused, but shook off the idea immediately.
After all, she didn't want a return one.
Drumming her fingers impatiently on the armrest, she gazed out the window as the carrier breached the clouds. A sight, to be sure, and not one that's beauty was lost on the rather unoccupied redhead. She had always loved flying—and all her transports were enjoyable for just that reason—so watching the clouds hang below her was beginning to be a relaxing pastime. The sun was off to her right—causing no major comfort issues from her sitting position—and the interesting shadow the carrier cast on the clouds made her smiled. We look like a crane, she mused. The colors in the sky were gorgeous, but what was even more interesting were the small patches of Earth seen through the clouds. Not much was down there—mainly desert sands since they were still above the upper part of Africa—but the thought of being up so high gave her a sense of power. However, seeing the dunes rippling below, Eclipse had to turn away, not ready to face them so easily just yet. By this time, her laptop had warmed up, displaying the bland, ZAFT logo as her background and the various icons she had never bothered to click on.
Perhaps she should have.
Boredom could have been the reason she paid extra attention to them this time—stalling being another—but whatever caused the inquiry, three new icons had appeared since the last time she had opened the machine. When did I use this last? she thought, realizing her arrival in Banadiya was probably the most recent time. That's interesting; I don't remember putting these here. They were all worded documents and simply named "Eclipse 1," "Eclipse 2," and "Apology." Blinking, the redhead clicked on "Eclipse 1."
"Simple, Good, And Quick Coffee Recipes," she read aloud, surprised with the sudden burst of laughter that hit her system. Waltfeld had obviously written the document, and the fact that he had bothered to hack into her personal computer to write such a thing meant he took her love for his addiction seriously. Just imagining him breaking into her room to steal the computer brought more laughter—most likely Aisha did it for him—enough to cause some happy tears. "Alright commander, what did you put?"
Haven't named this one:
Mix 1 1/2c of hot chocolate
2c of Italian coffee
3tsp orange extract.
Interesting blend, but you need to have a liking for oranges. Mess around with the extract yourself.
Irish coffee:
2c of strong coffee (Espresso is good)
2tbsp of orange juice
2tsp of lemon juice.
This is another fruity one, but I think you'll actually like it. Try switching the amounts of orange and lemon juice. It tastes good that way too.
And the recipes went on, the commander adding in comments here and there to explain his reasoning. There was an interesting area at the end where he went into alcohol mixtures, causing the redhead to smile again. "Only when you're of age!" he stressed, but then added in a few lines down, "When you're with me, though, it doesn't matter."
Taking a few more moments to enjoy the document, Eclipse closed it and went on to the one labeled "Eclipse 2." Oh boy, she thought. What's this one gonna be? Fashion sense? "Tips On Love: How to Find It and How to Avoid It," the title read, Aisha's name typed just below. This, the redhead only chuckled at, feeling a bit solemn rather than happy. Here was solid advice, and, honestly, Eclipse wished she could have heard it in person.
Step one: Strike up a conversation. (Don't forget to ask their name if there's no formal introduction. Awkwardness is never fun.)
Step two (part 1): If interested, flirt.
Step two (part 2): If not interested, run away fast. (Just kidding. Actually, be nice about it, okay?)
Step three: Smile. (This could be involved with step two, but just remember it. You have a pretty smile, Eclipse.)
Step four: First date. (Remember, not everyone is obsessed with coffee. That can get rather old after a while. Oh, don't tell Andy I said that.)
Step five: Kiss. (Oh, stop blushing! Fact of love, honey.)
Step six: You're on your own. (I won't tell you what to do from here on out, but—hey—maybe you'll get to ask me, right?)
How to Avoid it:
Step one: Don't
Step two: Follow step one. (Honestly, Eclipse, you close yourself off way too much. Sure, I think you can love but you choose not to. And, no, being friends doesn't count. You know what kind of "love" I'm getting at here. If you've made enemies, apologize. If you've found prospects, think about it.)
Eclipse smiled, going on to read some smaller tips at the bottom of the page. Yes, she really wished she could have been able to talk to Aisha about all of it personally. But wait, she blinked, when did I turn into a sap? Chuckling, Eclipse closed the document and opened the last one labeled "Apology." This one was from DaCosta.
Yeah, sorry for hacking into this thing, but I watched the other two do it and figured you deserved some kind of apology for the trouble. I debated deleting what they wrote and pretending like nothing happened, but it looked like some positive guidance. Can't argue with good intentions. Anyway, I'm sorry. They didn't look at anything personal—at least I don't think so—and all of the files are still intact. Blame me for mentioning the new shipment of champagne in the village and for running out to get it. I had no idea this was how the night would turn out.
Oh, on a happy note. I was talking with the commander the morning after this whole escapade—I don't even think he had a hangover—and we're thinking of keeping you on permanently. We'll talk about this another time, but I just wanted to get the gears moving.
After the two messages before, the redhead couldn't even feel sad about this. She suspected the transfer, but—most likely—Le Creuset wouldn't have allowed it. No surprise. They were sweet for thinking of it, though, she thought with a smile and closed the last document. Honestly, I wouldn't give up that time for anything. Nodding, Eclipse searched through her saved documents and pulled up the information on SIN-ED. It was a drastic change in subject matter, but in order to keep her other friends from dying, she had to know what they were up to, or at least have a few guesses. FS, Stray, how did it come to this? Aisha says don't avoid love of any kind and here I am trying to break ours apart. FS, I really need to talk to you. There has to be something—anything—I can say to change all of this.
In the end, the flight didn't feel like eight hours. Part of that could have been blamed on Eclipse falling asleep three hours in and the other part on the rather dramatic landing that Eclipse could only describe as a close call. If any of the other transports had been nearby, all five of the redcoats may have been inadvertently involved.
Well, there were supposed to be five.
"Why hasn't Athrun landed yet?" Dearka asked, running to catch up with the other three standing near Nicol's transport. "The Buster is already in the hangar and he still hasn't showed?"
"I've been wondering the same thing," Nicol admitted.
"It's only been a half hour. Maybe he got the slow pilot," Yzak muttered, turning to walk away from the group, but Eclipse stopped him.
"If you're leaving, go find out what's happened. If anything, you can get on the transmission line."
"Yeah, Eclipse's got a point," Nicol said, fixing the Duel pilot with a hard stare. "I don't like this; something's wrong."
"Honestly, I agree. You all got the message about that battle, right? Do you think he got involved somehow?" Dearka wondered, turning from one comrade to another. "If he needs backup—"
"Alright, alright, I'll go see what I can find out. You guys just wait in the briefing room, or something. I'll contact you when I know more, how's that?" Yzak grumbled, walking off without waiting for an answer and flailing his arms in defeat.
Eclipse smiled. "He's worried."
"That's obvious," Dearka added. "But let's do as he says, just case he really is pissed off." The remaining two nodded, all three walking past the transports and into the Carpentaria main building.
It was another twenty minutes to a half hour before Yzak opened the door to the briefing room. Inside, Nicol had been staring out the huge, bay window and Dearka had been reading on the only couch. Eclipse sat on the coffee table across and to the right of him, watching the other two as well as running through some scenarios in her head. If something had gone wrong, the Stealth wouldn't be able to do much. Not even she knew how the adjustments—half finished—affected her battery life. She might have been able to flee from a scrape during transport but to send her out for a full-scale battle would be suicide.
Hopefully, everything was okay.
"Yzak, heard anything about Athrun?" Nicol asked, walking towards the Duel pilot as he closed the door.
"Members of the Zala Team," he began, "I'm here to give you an update on this honorable team's first mission." His tone and choice of endearments bothered the redhead, but she kept silent. They had already talked about his attitude. "There could be no mission of greater importance that this." He paused, building up as much tension as he could muster out of the small group. No doubt he'd get slapped for it later, but, at the moment, it was worth it. "We are to rescue our leader."
Damnit, Eclipse cursed as Dearka immediately started laughing. Nicol, however, didn't seem as pleased as his blond comrade. In fact, he looked pissed.
"I suppose it's not his fault since it was his transport plane that threw him out," Yzak went on. "Anyway, HQ is too busy right now, so it's up to us to find him."
"Oh boy, our team's certainly off to an incredible start," Dearka mused, setting his book down on his lap and shaking his head. Yes, things were getting interesting, but they didn't have to sound so heartless. Nicol—silently fuming in the corner—seemed to agree.
"But, since the sun is about to set, we'll start our search tomorrow."
"You're kidding?" Nicol snapped, cutting in after Yzak with an intimidating look on his face. Even Yzak rocked back on his heels.
"Calm down, he's in the Aegis, so I wouldn't worry too much, if I were you," Dearka countered, aiming to get a hold of the situation. Either that or he felt bad about his laughter a few moments before and was trying to make up for it. "Even if he did take a fall, it's not like he fell through the atmosphere."
"Maybe not, but we landed in ally territory and on land," Eclipse said, knowing the Buster pilot was referring to their recent experience with space travel. "Yzak, did his transport leave later than us?" He nodded. "Then he must've run into the battle we nearly missed. If that's the case, he could be shot down right now and we're sitting on our asses making fun of him for it."
"If he was in a lot of trouble, he would've contacted HQ by now and we would've heard something," Dearka argued.
"Alright then," Yzak cut in, willing to end the dispute before anyone else could speak up. "There you have it. We'll stay here over night and then set sail tomorrow when the next carrier sub is ready." He didn't even wait for a reply, turning and walking out of the room as Dearka grabbed his book and hurried after him.
"We can never do things the easy way, can we?" Nicol asked, plopping down on the couch across from Eclipse still sitting on the table once the other two had left. Staring out the window, the pilot issued another sigh. Yes, he really wanted to go find Athrun, but, despite the callous approach to the situation, Yzak had a point. There was no way they'd find him at night, so all they could do was sit around and wait.
Frustrating.
"Life would be so boring if everything came easy," Eclipse responded, sighing as she shifted uncomfortably. "They do have a point though, he should be fine."
"Yes, I know that just as well as you, but still…" Nicol trailed off and tried getting to his feet.
"Trying" meaning the redhead pulled him back down by the cuff of his sleeve. "Just relax; there's no use getting all worked up over it."
"What, you're not worried in the least?"
"Well, I can worry all I want but that won't make him walk through the door. Besides, I have to keep convincing myself he knows what he's doing. Commander or no, he has his moments."
"As do we all."
Eclipse sighed, nodding slowly. "And most we regret," she whispered. Nicol didn't seem to hear her—which could have been a good thing—but since her apology was long overdue, the redhead figured this was as good of time as any. "I'm sorry, Nicol."
"For what?" he asked, turning a confused look her way. Judging by his initial reaction, Eclipse would say he really had no idea, but there was no way he forgot something like her immature behavior back at Gibraltar.
Or was she the only one it bothered?
"Before—at the Stealth—when I blew you off," she explained. "You were only trying to help and I practically threw a wrench at your face."
"I don't remember any wrench, but don't worry about it; I pressured you into it anyway. I should've stopped to think how uncomfortable you felt."
Pausing, she blinked, and then started laughing. Not a full-out laugh, but one cute enough to make Nicol's stomach do a flip.
He liked that sound.
"You're saying sorry to me? Definitely not something I expected."
"Well," the pilot began, his mood lifting. "I really think you should at least talk about it. Now, I'm no psychiatrist, but having something that huge eating you up can't be healthy."
"No, it probably isn't, but don't worry. I'm working it out of my system in my own way."
"That's a pretty vague answer, although, I won't press. But, Eclipse, you are going to be okay, right? You do know none of that was your fault?" The concern was expected, hell, even the question was, but the level of concern in the look had taken her off guard.
"Yes, I know." She didn't even sound convincing to herself, if she was being honest.
"Do you? Because I really need you to. Eclipse, you can't blame yourself for something beyond your control."
Ironically, she almost snapped at him. It could've been the immature gene kicking in her system again, but her guilt was another possibility. The fact was—like Namarra mentioned before—the battle was under her control.
She just blew it.
"What if I could prove to you it was my fault?" Eclipse began, looking down to the floor after she made the comment. At first, she regretted it. She was serious when she said she was dealing with it and she had even managed to get through the transport—through reading those notes from Banadiya without any issues.
"Eclipse, no matter what happened—what you did or didn't do—the outcome would've been the same. Commander Waltfeld made a choice. While it may not have been the right one, you didn't make him want to fight the Strike. Just like you didn't make Aisha fight with him. Sure, you could've fired one more shot or evaded to the left instead of the right, but they still made that choice."
She blinked and he paused. He was both kind and insightful, it seemed. He saw the look and looked uncomfortable for a second. "W-what?"
"When did you get so philosophical?" she asked, smiling slightly to ease the tension. The conversation was going in a direction she really wasn't comfortable with, but she found his words interesting. "I said I could prove it was my fault, and you're trying to convince me otherwise. Why?"
"Why not? Does blaming yourself make you feel better?"
She thought about it for a moment, but ended up shrugging. "Honestly? Kinda, but I see where you're heading with this."
"Death is a part of life." He shrugged his shoulders then and her look changed. Perhaps there was more to him than she realized.
"Why are you here, Nicol?"
"What do you mean?"
"Here—in ZAFT. In the military."
"I guess that's rather… complicated," he began and looked away when he caught her looking at him again. The genuine interest and intensity made him nervous. "I don't want to be some days, and yet feel—what's the word—obligated? Does that work?" He paused and searched her face for some sort of answer, but she just shrugged. "Y'know what, let me get back to you on that one. I'm sure I have some grand explanation somewhere."
"Hmpf, I wish I did," the redhead admitted, smiling sadly at his confused expression. "I'm just here; maybe because I have to be, maybe because I want to be, or maybe, I just don't know what I'd do if I wasn't."
"I don't think anyone is meant to thrive in war," he admitted. "Seems a bit counterproductive to our instincts to search for a peaceful existence, don't you think?"
"Going philosophical again?" Eclipse gave a short laugh and shook her head, trying not to dwell on his words. Or hear the laugh in the back of her mind. "C'mon, if you have time to think, you have time to help me with the Stealth."
"What's wrong with it?"
"I didn't get to finish some tweaks in Gibraltar and if we need to find Athrun, I'd like to be properly armed, just in case."
He sighed. "Seriously, let the mechanics do these things."
"Oh, come on, how else do I avoid my emotional trauma?"
He shook his head then, a small smile on his lips when he stood up and followed her out of the room.
They all left early in the morning as scheduled. Dearka and Yzak were a tad grouchy, but the remaining two were wide awake. A storm had passed through the early part of the night, causing both Eclipse and Nicol some restless hours. "He'll be fine," they had to remind each other when they had ironically met in the hallway. "It's just a little thunderstorm." Dearka and Yzak had claimed they slept soundly through the whole ordeal, but they weren't convincing even to Nicol and Eclipse. They were all worried in their own way.
They decided to go in hour shifts, two in the air, and two in the submarine. First off, the team checked the radar at port, hoping to catch sight of a distress signal, but the N-Jammers were messing with the airwaves, making it practically impossible to tell if something was a distress signal, or just a technical joke. Nothing definite, Nicol and Eclipse boarded one-man helicopters as Dearka and Yzak boarded and left with the submarine. They took off in opposite directions, but still being sure not to stray too far from the submarine. "Communications check," Dearka said through his headset, standing near Yzak who was sitting at one of the consoles on the submarine bridge. He nodded down at his teammate when both redcoats replied with an affirmative.
The only thing left to do was look.
All four knew it was going to be hard given the large search area. One, small mobile suit was hard to find and if Athrun was smart, he wouldn't keep the Aegis in plain sight to attract any unwanted attention. They thought they had made some progress during the second hour when a distress signal was finally picked up, but it was the transport plane that had kicked Athrun out in the first place. Both pilots were relatively unharmed and quite angry about the whole ordeal.
Both Nicol and Eclipse switched with Dearka and Yzak once they were brought on board. The helicopters refueled, Dearka and Yzak took off with nothing more than grim nods, leaving the other two to settle in the transport pilots aboard the re-submerging submarine. Nicol was listening to their report over near the Blitz, offering them bottles of water as he wrote down what they were saying. They had only brought the Blitz and the Buster, two Guuls also docked and ready to be deployed if any hostiles appeared. Their primary goal was to retreat if anything should attack them, a stealth unit and a long-ranged one being the better of the choices. Eclipse had yet to even take the Stealth out, so she was still grounded and the carrier really only had room for one more. That would, ideally, be the Aegis.
Eclipse manned the communication line in the hangar near the suits, the redhead waiting for Nicol to be done before they both went to the bridge. Frustratingly, there was still nothing of interest. Unfortunately, with the radars on the fritz at the time, the carrier pilots who were transporting Athrun didn't even know their own coordinates let alone where they had dropped the Aegis. Nicol sighed at that, but there wasn't much he could do. He was just happy to know there was a chance Athrun was still alive. After all, the transport had downed the attacking aircraft.
"What's that, Dearka?" Eclipse asked, sending Nicol jogging to her side. She pushed one of the earpieces against her right ear. "Dearka, repeat."
"I see some floating debris about two kilometers away and at your one o'clock, but nothing seems to be from the Aegis. I'm thinking it's leftovers from the battle. There isn't much of it and it's pretty scarce. The storm could've washed this from anywhere."
"So, we probably haven't even reached the battle area yet?" Eclipse muttered.
Dearka sighed on the other end of the communication. "Looks like it. Any good news from those transport pilots?"
"No, nothing," Nicol explained, stepping in to give his report. "Everything was too hectic to know any precise coordinates and the carrier's too beat up to look in its computer filing. How about from Yzak?"
"Nothing from me either," he replied dryly.
Nicol sighed and checked the console for the time. "It's shift change anyway. Come on in and grab something to eat."
"At least that's a bit of good news," Dearka grumbled. Yzak made a similar remark and she sighed, leaning forward with both hands on the console as she put down her headphones.
"With the storm gone, we should be able to locate him easily," Nicol remarked, biting on a fingernail.
"Should," Eclipse repeated. "Somehow I don't think the Zala team has enough luck stored up for 'should.'"
They all took a quick break and refueled the helicopters, changing pilots. Yzak took to the bridge to man the communications, and Dearka retreated back the transport pilots to ask a few more questions he had thought of during the meal. Anything to help.
Again, nothing to report.
Together, Eclipse and Nicol had followed the debris trail Dearka had found, but—as they all suspected—it was only random blotches for the next four kilometers. Nothing looked to be from the Aegis, but there was no sign of an island or anything to land on safely either.
Not very comforting.
"Yzak, I'm gonna try the airwaves again," Nicol started, the exhaustion evident in his voice that time. "How's the radar looking?"
"Still nothing, Nic—wait. Radar, what d'ya see?"
"It's not strong, but it's consistent, sir," the soldier replied a couple of seats down from the Duel pilot.
"Where at?" Dearka asked, walking over and leaning in to try and get a look at the screen.
"About three kilometers south, southwest from our position, sir."
"Nicol—"
"Heading over there now, Yzak. Eclipse, rendezvous."
"Roger that. Nicol, still go on the airwaves. I'll try on my end too."
"Understood," Nicol confirmed, a small bit of adrenaline pumping into his system. The end of their shift was fast approaching, but with such a discovery, there was no way he was just going to ignore it. "Athrun! Athrun, do you copy?" No response. The first seven attempts came back static as well, but there was no way they would quit. Eclipse spotted a ration bag in the water, offering some kind of comfort. At least they were headed in the right direction. "Athrun, can you hear me? Please respond!"
"Nicol, that you?" a voice replied, cutting in and out as the boy spoke, but it was definitely their lost teammate.
"Athrun! What a relief! We'll get a fix on you from this transmission. Yzak—"
"Way ahead of you, Nicol. You and Eclipse hold your positions for now. We'll feed you the information here pretty quick." Yzak sighed, pulling off the headset and slinking down in his chair. "It's about damn time."
"You're not going to make a habit of this, are you?" Eclipse muttered.
"I don't plan on it, no," Athrun scoffed, looking over at his redheaded comrade. Eclipse could tell that he was in a good mood, but why she honestly didn't know. It had only been a few hours since Nicol and she found him and the Aegis on a small island literally in the middle of nowhere, but since then, he had been pretty calm and light-hearted. Yzak and Dearka had given him his full of insults when they arrived back in Carpentaria, but even after all of that, there was still the slightest hint of a smile on his lips.
The pilot had been ordered to check in at the infirmary even though he was, relatively, unharmed after the fall and day out on his own. He appeared to have a bullet graze on his right side, but she had decided not to ask, instead watching him carefully to see what he might give away when he realized she had seen the wound.
A shrug was all she received.
The doctor had asked to do a brief check up on Eclipse's leg as well so they switched spots after Athrun was given the A-okay. She sat down on the cot, took off her right shoe, and rolled up her pant leg, the swelling having gone down enough that it was a rather easy process.
"Ah, looks much better," the older doctor said, beginning the examination.
Athrun was fixing his jacket when he took the clipboard offered by the nurse. Eclipse twisted to get a good look at his face, still finding his apparent good mood odd. "You okay, sir?" she asked.
The remark had taken Athrun a second to realize she had been talking to him and he pointed at his face after he had signed the form. "Me?" She nodded. "Yeah, just a graze. Nothing to worry about."
"Not health wise—well, physical health—I'm wondering why you seem… chipper? Is that the right word?"
He shrugged. "I just had an… interesting experience," he admitted vaguely. She waited for him to continue and despite the painful twisting she was inflicting on her back and neck to see him, she was keen to hear his response. However, he didn't seem to want to give one.
"What?" he asked.
"Never mind," she muttered and shook her head, returning her body to a more comfortable position as the doctor finished.
"Right, healing nicely, I think," the doctor said, standing and taking off his gloves as Eclipse rolled her pant leg back down. "I still want you to come back in a couple days for good measure."
"Roger that," she responded and bent down to tie her shoe as Athrun signed the next form offered him.
"Thanks for coming to find me, by the way," he said after a quick nod to the doctor and the nurse as they left the room.
"You didn't think we would?" she scoffed and looked at him again when she had finished tying the shoe and stood. He was smiling, a small grin, but a genuine one at least. In fact, it was almost sad. "Athrun, seriously, what happened?"
"Sorry, I'm just wondering why things have to be like they are. Why Junius 7 had to be destroyed, why the prototypes had to be stolen, why you have to chase SIN-ED, and why—" He stopped, and judging by the look on his face, he might have been trying to talk about Kira—the one Lacus had spoken so fondly of and the one Athrun was so troubled over. Instead, he shook his head. "How did things end up like this?"
"I think you're asking the wrong person," Eclipse admitted. "I really have no answers for you."
"If we weren't in ZAFT—weren't fighting a war—what kind of people do you think we'd be?"
"Innocent, I suppose. Or at least as innocent as a teenager can be."
That made him laugh a bit, but there was something still troubling him. He fumbled with the words for a moment, thinking things over in his head. "Are the Naturals really to blame?" There it was, the question that had probably been eating at him ever since he was found on that island.
But what was the answer?
"What do you think?" she stressed.
"But I'm asking you."
"And I'm asking you because the only answer that matters, is yours. I can't tell you what to think."
Again, he smiled, and shook his head sadly. "You remind me of someone, y'know that?"
A/N: Hey all, glad to be back at writing this story again. I had a bit of a break with homework and practically finished this thing in a day. O.o Well, at least made the appropriate fill-ins and somehow it makes sense. Anyway, it's a bit slow and a bit long. Not sure if that's a good combo yet, but the good news is, next chapter we should be getting to Orb! Finally! Let's hear a big hurrah for the home team! Yeah, I never thought it'd take me at least 33 chapters to get there… And looking back, it probably should've taken me more. Ah well, we'll worry about all that in the rewrite. O.o
I really had no idea what to name this chapter, so if it's lacking a bit in the "wow" factor, that's the reason. Also, I never noticed until now I have three chapters in a row starting with the letter 'A'. Hm… Well anyway, sorry for the less than enthusiastic title.
Month long breaks is probably what you're gonna have to be expecting from me for a while. I do have a class where I can write most of the material—gotta love PowerPoint lectures—but there's only so much I can do in an hour and a half. Figure too, most of that is jotting down notes. At any rate, I'm hoping to start the next chapter really soon. I've got a few ideas already and it's just a matter of making it work in the grand scheme of things.
Speaking of the "grand scheme of things," if anything seems off, please let me know. I have a tendency to get ahead of myself, so, yeah, let me have it. My betas are awesome at this, but everyone has a different opinion, so feel free to share.
Oh, and for the ones who do share, thanks! I love hearing from all of you! I will admit, the repertoire of reviewers I have scares me shitless. All of you guys know what you're doing—technical wise, but you're all kick-ass writers too—and I get so stressed out with whether or not the story makes sense to you guys. I have an idea of what I want, but then I always think, "But will they buy it?" Hm, not sure if that's a good thing or not, but damn, thanks guys. A good thanks, of course, because—hey—I'd be sitting alone in a corner and pouting if it wasn't for all your helpful advice.
And on to betas. If you don't have one, get one. They're Godsends who deserve a lot more credit than I can give and a lot more candy than I can afford. Or maybe I should up the gifts to alcohol… Oh, wait, even more expensive… Anyway, I can't go anywhere without them. Death-Scimitar, CSS Stravag , and Maderfole, a huge thank you is all I can give for now, but you never know when my luck—as poor as it
Wanna hear a cool note about my betas. They each looked the draft over rather closely and none of them came up with the same mistakes/corrections. O.o Yay for betas!
Questions/Grips:
OrangeP47: The police thing was my "get the hell out" scenario, so I never really thought on past the—well—"get the hell out" part. They probably won't come for her (Maderfole had a good point about her military status) but even if they did, they'd have more to pin on her than just two elderly people. O.o
Asmus (and a bunch of others): Druggies, yes, I like Druggies. Not to mention one of the—about to be—main characters is a Druggie. Hard to just write off a huge—uh—race if a character is one. Not entirely sure how much I'm gonna do with them, but I want to focus more on their personalities and "family" time than just their battle scenes. I'll try to give them some kind of human qualities, don't worry.
Lots of reviewers: Yeah, I realize Eclipse stitching her wounds may have gone a bit past the "badass" and slipped into the "not possible" realm. For that, I'm sorry. I got a bit carried away, I guess. O.o
A big thank you to all who participated in the poll and I'll still keep it up for a while if anyone wants to say their two cents. As of right now, the number one pick has a four (What the hell?) way tie: Nicol, Heine, Yzak, and Jaeger/Stray. Ironically, two of those die in the original series, so I'm thinking you people want me to sway from the main story line a bit. Well, we'll see. I have most of this story mapped out, but there might be some room for changes. ;)
Thanks again to all for all the reads and reviews!
Strata