AN: Music for this chapter (on repeat): Moscow Nights by Vladimir Troshin, Rhapsody On A Theme Of Paganini - Variation 18 from the Somewhere in Time Soundtrack, Brown Eyed Girl by Van Morrison, Kung Foo Fighting by Carl Douglas, Why Can't We Be Friends? by War, Father and Daughter by Paul Simon, Russian Dance from The Nutcracker by P. Tchaikovsky
TWENTY-SEVEN
o
"Sydney?" Irina called from the hallway, brushing the remaining snow from her coat.
"We're in here, Mom." Sydney called out from the bedroom having just finished changing Lena.
Irina smiled as she stepped into the room and saw how beautiful her girls looked.
"I wasn't sure what to wear so I hope this is going to be ok?" Sydney smoothed her hands of the red fuzzy sweater she was wearing.
"It's perfect and you look beautiful." Irina took her face in her hands and kissed her cheeks, before removing her coat. She scooped up the baby and snuggled her against her face.
Sydney surprised her with a quick kiss to the cheek. "That was from dad." She smiled catching the sparkle in her mother's eye. "He sounded positively deflated that it was me on the phone instead of you."
"Sydney, I doubt that very much. How could your father be disappointed to hear from you?" She shook her head and sat on the couch, deciding it was best to feed Lena now, before they got to the restaurant.
"Well he was. I heard the audible sigh." She shrugged, not bothered by it. "He hasn't even gone home yet or slept since Jakarta." Sydney didn't miss the flash of concern that swept across Irina's face.
"Why not?" Irina asked casually, shifting herself so that her arm supporting Lena was supported by an overstuffed pillow.
"He claims he has a lot of work to do." Sydney sat down in one of the big leather chairs across from Irina and began playing with the nesting doll on the coffee table. "That's code for he 'doesn't want to go home to an empty house." She added after a moment of silence deciding to leave out the part about the mass of photographers waiting there.
Irina swallowed hard and chose to ignore the remark about the empty house.
"So, do you want to tell me now about what happened with Michael or would you rather wait until we get to the restaurant?"
"Wait." Sydney smiled thinking how that topic would be a perfect segue-way into talking to her mother about her father.
"Ok." Irina smiled seeing the mischievous gleam in Sydney's eye. "Well, is there anything particular you'd like to do while we're here?"
"No, not really." Sydney shrugged, and tossed her long hair over her shoulder. "As long as I'm spending time with you anything is fine by me." She smiled.
"That sounds good to me, too." Irina smiled in return, "I'm sorry I had to leave you alone just after we arrived."
"It's okay. I understand you have to take care of things. What did you and Vladimir talk about? Or should I not ask that question?" Sydney finished removing all twelve dolls and lined them up revealing those present at the Nativity of Christ's birth. "I'm not used to asking you questions about your business dealings without having to interrogate you." She bit her lip nervously. "And I don't want you to feel like I'm interrogating you, because I'm not. Its just a little strange for me still, to be sitting this close to the Kremlin talking to you, about all this, like this." She fidgeted nervously with the smallest doll, the baby Jesus remembering how she'd spoken to Irina just after Agent Crane informed her that Irina hadn't said a thing during a two hour long interrogation/debriefing… other then to ask about Sydney. Sydney hadn't exactly been kind to Irina when she marched up to that cell and put 'Irina' in her place, or so she thought at the time. "I'm sorry. I'll just be quiet now."
Irina laughed placing a hand on Sydney's knee, "Sydney, I don't want you to be quiet. I want to hear everything you have to say and I don't feel like you're interrogating me."
"We covered many topics this evening. Let's see," Irina sat back against the cushions and bit her own lip recalling what they'd talked about.
Rattling them off like they were items on a grocery list Sydney thought.
"We started with the celebrations for the Winter Festivals, budgeting, the new military training facilities, Chechnya, the upcoming United Nations meeting, the construction and opening of the new maternity hospitals and clinics, the election and…how we're going to handle the 'new' information of my public outing." She added softly with a small smile and a shrug as she put her hair behind her ear. "It's become public knowledge over the week that I was in the KGB and on assignment when I married your father in America; that he was…is CIA and that you, our grown daughter are as well. That's only seemed to add more fuel to the fire of people's interest. And now everyone knows I fell in love with my 'mark' and refused to return, resulting in my mother's death and my imprisonment for being a traitor to the Soviet government."
"Oh Mom," Sydney felt badly for her mother having that bit of information out there.
"And they don't know the details about it, and nothing's been confirmed from any of the government offices but somehow; the news of my Execution and last minute reprieve have also surfaced. Right now, they're just rumors but there's obviously a leak in either your government or mine. Most likely someone from the hospital. Not that it matters now. I can't hide who I am or who my mother was anymore."
"What does Vladimir think you should do?" Sydney asked softly, knowing this wasn't easy for Irina to be so exposed: her entire life out there for the world to dissect.
"Well, we all agree that I'm going to have to address the public formally and explain myself. I just wish I didn't have to do this now, when I'm dealing with Sloane and stopping this damn prophecy." She leaned her head against Lena's on her shoulder as she patted her back burping her.
"So when are you going to do this? Address the public?" Sydney walked over and sat next to Irina.
"After the New Year." She ran her hand in circles over the baby's back, rocking side to side gently. "I just want to get through the holidays first and, we're going to need to sit down and talk about all of this with the entire family. I especially need to talk to your father, as it's his life that's being aired for all to see as well as mine now. I never intended for this to happen." Irina sighed as she got up from the couch and headed for the bedroom. "But it was the only way."
"He knows you didn't have any part in making that decision, Mom. We all made it for you to save your life and none of us would ever hold you responsible for that." Sydney followed her into the bedroom where Irina was busy bundling Lena for her trip outside. "I honestly don't care what people want to know about my life as long as you're still alive and in my life, Mom, the rest I can live with."
Sydney stood quietly behind Irina and as she spoke her last sentence Irina's movements stilled. She turned around slowly with tears in her eyes, and forcefully grabbed Sydney into a tight hug.
"You're right, Sydney. Nothing else matters as long as I'm alive and with my babies."
Sydney held on tightly to Irina and they stayed in that embrace until Lena's crying separated them. She didn't like being so bundled if they weren't on the move they'd discovered earlier in the day.
"Grab your coat and let's get out of here for awhile." Irina smiled.
*Moscow Nights*
When they arrived at the restaurant they were shown to a table near the back, away from everyone else and next to an enormous cobblestone fireplace that was four times the normal size. The atmosphere was beautiful with the low candlelight and orange glow from the fireplace. Irina had ordered for both of them; traditional Russian favorites of hers and as they waited for their meal, began their discussion of Michael Vaughn.
"So then after he apologized for being an ass to me, that led to the discussion of relationships and you." Sydney stopped to take a sip of her tea, eyeing her mother from above the cups rim to see her reaction.
Irina's eyebrows rose only slightly with surprise but said nothing and let Sydney continue. "I won't go into the specifics of it because that is something that you need to talk with dad about, hear from him."
Irina's expression was curious but still said nothing.
"Anyway, those certain things we talked about in reference to your relationship led to him questioning the relationship that I have with Vaughn."
"Your father asked you about your relationship with Michael?" Irina genuinely seemed surprised, and she smiled.
Jack was making progress apparently in accepting their daughter was a grown-up. "How'd that go?" She reached for the pacifier that Lena had dropped causing the baby to stir in her sleep. As soon as it was replaced she sucked feverishly for a few seconds then fell into a deep sleep again.
"Well surprisingly. I'd told him that I had grown up wanting the same kind of relationship the two of you had when you were married. Finding that someone to love, and to love me. Someone who was my equal; like you and dad. The way you complete each other." She sat her cup down softly matching her tone as Irina diverted her eyes. Sydney reached across the table and took Irina's fingers in her own, giving them a light squeeze of silent support. "Dad told me how he knew you were the one for him and that if I felt the same way about Vaughn, I'd found that someone I was looking for." Sydney smiled softly meeting Irina's eyes. "I told him I did. Having Dad point out those reasons made me realize what I already knew, Vaughn is my equal. Dad said he was happy for me."
"I'm so happy for you, Sydney." Irina smiled warmly, running her thumb over her daughter's long fingers, the same fingers of her own hand. "Few people ever find that kind of love. Hold onto it, Sydney, with everything you have…hold on."
"I will." Sydney spoke slowly nodding her head with determination. She returned the smile as the waiter brought over a small basket of bread that broke up their special moment.
"If it's not too intrusive, how did the two of you meet? I know obviously through the CIA, but…" Irina buttered her Russian Rye slowly, nervously.
"You want to know about the first time we met?" Sydney smiled.
Irina gave her a small smile of admission.
"Well, now that I know all the facts, you had a part in that." She laughed coyly, keeping her mother guessing.
"Me? You mean Laura?" Irina asked softly, thinking somehow she must have been referring to the woman in Sydney's memories at that time, the woman she looked up to and respected before she found out the truth.
"No. You. Irina."
"How so?"
"I'd just found out who I was working for, what I was: a terrorist. It was just after Sloane killed Danny. I quit the job but Sloane didn't want to let me. He tried to kill me." Sydney looked across the table to see Irina's chin resting on her folded hands listening intently. "Dad saved me, though I hated him at the time. Years of silence between us and then to find out he was one of the bad guys, was too much. I didn't know he worked for the CIA as a Double inside SD-6 at the time. Anyway, I realized it would never end until I shut down Sloane. So, I went on his mission to Taipei. I broke into what I now know was one of your laboratories, to steal the Rambaldi battery. I was caught and tortured by your evil doctor. He pulled out my teeth, I paralyzed him." She shrugged her shoulders seeing the saddened look in Irina's eyes. Sydney gave her a reassuring smile. "After I got the battery I gave it to Sloane then went straight to the CIA office in LA and turned myself in. Vaughn and Eric debriefed me." She laughed softly at the memory. "I was all bloody and my face was swollen from having my teeth pulled. My hair was this wild red color. I was just a mess. Vaughn told me later he thought I was crazy when he first met me. " She laughed again earning a warm smile from Irina. "After that he became my handler and for a long time, the only person I could trust."
"I wasn't in Taipei at the time you were caught." Irina poured them both another cup of tea, breaking into her own explanation. "I'd heard immediately they'd captured someone trying to break into the lab, a female, but that was the only information I had. It was only after you'd escaped and I went to Taipei, saw the security footage of the woman, that I knew it was you." She gave Sydney a lopsided grin laden with apology. "I'd heard over the years of a female agent working for Sloane at SD-6 that was incredible." She smiled. "No one knew anything about her, she was that good. Somewhere in the back of my mind was a nagging feeling that it was you, my daughter. My Sydney. But I didn't want it to be you, in this life. My fears were confirmed when I saw you on that tape. My little girl all grown up and I couldn't help but feel proud of you for escaping the way you did. I didn't tell anyone that I knew who you were. They discovered that later on, with our repeated run-ins with you over the year. I trained Anna Espinosa," She paused slightly seeing the shock register on Sydney's face. "She was one of the Project Christmas children along with Julian. It was part of my 're-education,' to use the knowledge I'd obtained from your father and train a class of child spies. They were the first and only class I trained. Cuvee brought Anna into his syndicate right away."
"K- Directorate." Sydney stated and Irina nodded.
"Yes and then came that fateful night in Taipei, when you were captured after blowing up my lab." Irina gave her a knowing smile shaking her head before taking a deep breath, her light tone dissipating as she continued. "Cuvee wanted me to prove my allegiance to our partnership by shooting you. It was a sick double play for him. It was not only a way to prove my loyalty, but sheer enjoyment that his reprogramming of me had worked. I was now shooting the daughter I fought desperately to save when I was arrested on Treason." She paused again, looking idly down at her hands nervously before looking up to meet Sydney's, "When I walked into that room," She let out a small gasp, "You were so beautiful and it tore me apart to see the effect my words were having on you. I wanted nothing more then to take you in my arms and hold you forever. But I knew I couldn't, I had to get us both out of this situation. I knew that no matter what information I got out of you, or what I did to you, Gerard wasn't going to let you go and the thought of what he would do to you, my daughter…I couldn't let that happen. So I shot you and gave you the time to escape, hoping you would see I put you in that room, in that chair for a reason…and you did." She smiled and reached over the table clasping Sydney's fingers in her own. "I'd already been planning on way to take down SD-6 and the Alliance for some time; using the CIA, and when I realized that you were a Double agent with them after Barcelona, I couldn't help but feel anxious, excited at seeing you again. I thought I might have a little time to establish some sort of relationship with you, explain myself a little before I escaped. What I didn't count on, or rather I fooled myself into believing, was how hard it was to leave you again. All the feelings I'd had for you and your father that I'd locked up and dare not think about. The feelings I thought I could keep compartmentalizing, controlling, were threatening to over-take me. I began doubting my plans. I thought I was the one in the Prophecy; it was up to me to stop Sloane, to keep you safe. And then after I escaped, information Sloane had on Rambaldi led me to believe it was you in the Prophecy and it was up to you to stop him. I knew that by betraying you a second time, I'd lost all chances of any kind of relationship with you." Irina's eyes got teary, as did Sydney's. "So I gave you all I could on Sloane and Rambaldi, told you I loved you…and let go." She let go of one of Sydney's hands to wipe the stream of tears running down her cheek.
The double meaning behind those words were not lost on Sydney. Irina had not only let go of the ledge that night in Mexico, but she'd let go of Sydney and Jack and any hope of forgiveness and a relationship with them in the future.
"I am so sorry, Sydney. For all of the tears and pain I've caused you. There will never be enough time or words to show you just how sorry I am. Anything I do will never be enough."
"Mom, I accept your apology. I know you love me. All that matters to me now, is that you're here with me now. And I know you won't hurt me again. I trust you." She took a shaky breath and wiped her own tears through a smile when she saw a new wave of tears pooling in Irina's eyes at hearing Sydney trusted her, forgave her. "All I ever wanted was this. To have my mother in my life, the person I loved and still love, more then anyone even Vaughn. My mother. You. You, just you are enough, Mom. You've always been the most important person in my life, even when you weren't physically in it." Her smile reached her eyes, "You don't have to keep trying to prove yourself, prove your love. I know. I feel it. You're enough, Mom. You're all I need."
"Sydney," Irina barely choked out just above a whisper, emotion overwhelming her with Sydney's forgiveness. There were no words to express how much it meant, how it made her feel in that moment. Irina stood and walked around the table, leaned over and kissed Sydney's cheek before engulfing her in an enormous hug, holding on tightly as they both cried happy tears. "I love you. Thank you."
"You're welcome. And I love you, too." She smiled as Irina pulled back and knelt in front of where she was sitting. Sydney took her hands and wiped the tears from her mother's cheeks, and in a move that mimicked their previous actions twenty some years before, Irina reached up and stilled Sydney's hands against her cheeks, closing her eyes and smiling as the tears continued to fall.
Sydney's hands were no longer the chubby little ones she remembered and had recalled in her dreams many times in one of their final 'goodbyes' before she left.
Irina opened her eyes and pulled Sydney's hands away, kissing both palms and then her cheeks. The look in Sydney's eyes told Irina she remembered, too.
"To the moon and back, more then the stars in the heavens and the grains of sands on Earth." Sydney smiled brightly, causing Irina to do the same.
"Forever and always." Irina kissed her one last time on the cheek as the waiter approached carrying their dinner.
After dinner they decided to go for a walk along the river on the boardwalk. The beautiful Moscow lights illuminating their way.
The temperature had warmed up considerably, surprisingly, though it was still freezing compared to Southern California and certainly Jakarta.
Irina had put Lena into the Baby Bjorn harness and she was now comfortably sound asleep against Irina's soft sweater, protected from the harsh cold outside by her mother's warm fur coat.
"So after our mission together in Kashmir," Irina began as they walked along the practically deserted walkway. "I said I knew you had a lot of questions. A great majority of them, I think, you have answers to now, but is there anything else you'd like to know?"
"I don't know." Sydney kicked a tuft of snow as they walked along. "There's so much I still don't know about you."
"Well ask away." Irina braced herself.
"What's your favorite take-out?" Sydney asked after a moment of thinking.
Irina paused momentarily with a small surprised smile. "Of all the questions you could ask?" She laughed and continued walking, answering her question. "Chinese, and yours?"
"The same. Chinese. What's your favorite color?"
"Black."
"As if I couldn't tell." Sydney laughed eyeing Irina's black hat and coat, noting her outfit was solid black as well as most of the items she saw in the closet.
"And yours?" Irina laughed with her.
"Red." They both said simultaneously.
"How did you?" Sydney gave her a curious look.
"It was always your favorite crayon." Irina smiled remembering Sydney's determination to color everything in her pictures red as a child. "And then of course when you've gone on missions you seem to choose red for your hair and wardrobe. Like tonight, your red sweater."
Sydney shook her head in awe at her mother's observations once again.
"Favorite movie?"
"Oh God, there are many." Irina rolled her eyes trying to think. "Well, I can't stand to watch most action spy movies. They do it all wrong and it drives me insane to watch. I remember watching James Bond: The Spy Who Loved Me, with your father when you were about two years old."
Seeing Sydney's eyebrows shoot up in surprise she laughed.
"Yes I know. It was very ironic watching a movie with your father about a British and Soviet spy falling in love during the Cold War while I was actually living the life. What drove me insane though, was that the female agent Triple X, I think that was her name, was portrayed as such an incompetent! Like just because she was a woman, she was a lesser spy, having to be rescued all the time by James Bond. It drove me nuts, still does if I think about it." She laughed, as did Sydney, agreeing with her.
"What about romantic movies?" Sydney hedged along.
*Rhapsody On A Theme Of Paganini - Variation 18*
"Well, I tended to stay away from those. They made me think about your father and that wasn't an option. But, I suppose my favorite romantic movie would have to be Somewhere In Time. It was the last film I saw with your father before I was extracted." She sighed softly, "The irony of that was not lost on me either. That the last film I saw with your father, was about a love so strong he went back in time to find her, beyond his obsessions, beyond his fantasies, beyond time itself he was determined to find her."
"You wanted dad to come find you…in Kashmir?" Sydney remembered her mother's cries for her father on the tape from prison and had to shake her head to get rid of the image.
"I'd be lying to you if I said I didn't." Irina stopped and sat on a bench overlooking the city. "But I realized that was never going to happen." She replied softly. "Life isn't like it is in the movies."
"That isn't true." Sydney sat be-side her, shaking her head before turning to Irina. "We did find each other again and after you left, and we found out the truth, beyond the fantasy, beyond dad's obsession, beyond the time… of all the years we'd been apart…dad was determined to find you. And he did in St. Petersburg." She smiled, sinking further into her furry coat seeking warmth.
"Yes, he did." Irina smiled in disbelief that Sydney made that connection.
"Mom, will you tell me about the first time you met dad? I mean how you orchestrated it, what you first thought of him?" She asked nervously.
"Well, first of all, I didn't orchestrate it. Our first meeting was purely accidental. I didn't even know at the time that your father was to be my mark." Irina adjusted her coat so that she could see Lena, make sure she had enough air.
"What do you mean?" Sydney was surprised to hear this.
"The way the Soviet system of foreign espionage worked, it was three phases. In the first phase, they sent an agent to their new country and the only objective during this phase was to become familiar with your new identity, your new life. You made yourself comfortable with your surroundings, your language and the people; so that you literally became part of their culture. This is your sole objective as an agent at that time. Phase One usually lasted six months to a year. It isn't until Phase Two that you are informed of your objective and who your mark will be." Irina leaned back against the bench.
"So you didn't know that dad was your mark before you came over here?" Sydney couldn't believe how much she didn't know. In her mind, from the moment she found out who her mother was, she had envisioned her mother as a ruthless KGB agent who's sole objective had been to seek out and destroy her father. She knew now, over the last few months that hadn't exactly been true, but she still hadn't lost the notion that Irina knew what she was doing when she came to the US.
"No. I didn't know he was my mark until about six months after I arrived when my handler handed me his file but I already knew him. Which, my handler knew of course from keeping tabs on me. He passed that information on to Cuvee. I was instructed to maintain a relationship I'd already begun."
Sydney's eyes were practically bugging out of her head. Her parent's relationship had started before Irina received her orders to seduce him.
"You said you met dad by accident?"
Irina smiled widely at the memory. "Yes. That's right. About two months after I arrived in Washington and began school, I was walking down the steps after class, carrying an enormous stack of books when this, wild man with thick curly hair in sunglasses plowed into me from behind sending my books and papers everywhere. I was so angry, swearing to myself as I tried to gather my papers blowing in the wind. I didn't even look up at your father as he was helping me, apologizing profusely, rambling on incessantly. When he was handing me the last of my papers, our hands brushed briefly and I just... I don't know felt this shock of sorts, nothing I'd ever felt before. I snapped my head up to look at him as I pulled my hand away from him. He stopped mid-sentence to stare at me… and he broke into this big smile, just sat there, looking at me. It was an uncomfortable situation. At least for me, I was new to this country and had to shake myself to remember why I was here." Irina suddenly began speaking in English, recanting the memory in the language it was made in.
"Jack." He extended his hand to her.
"What?" She shook her head, looking down at her books as she shuffled them.
"My name is Jack." He smiled and laughed that made her feel butterflies in her stomach.
"That's nice." Irina reached forward and quickly shook his hand before standing. She took off at an incredible pace down the sidewalk, she had to get away from this guy; she couldn't get sidetracked from her mission. She could hear Jack laughing behind her and then the rapid footsteps as he ran to catch up with her.
"Hey slow down there." He reached out tentatively, taking hold of her upper arm. She stopped at the contact of his hand on her bare arm, frozen. "I didn't catch your name?" He gave her another infectious playboy smile.
Irina could tell this guy must have been a, ladies man; a playboy, who was used to getting any woman he wanted. 'Well not this woman!' She told herself.
"That's because I didn't give it to you." She looked directly into his eyes before sidestepping him and continuing on her way.
Jack followed, walking backwards so that he could look at her.
"What's your hurry?" He jogged backwards, still smiling as he nodded at people they passed, he knew.
"I have class in ten minutes. I don't have time for this." She refused to look at him.
"You're a tough one aren't you?" Jack cocked his head to the side, analyzing her. "Let me hear you say, 'dog?"
"What?" She snapped her head to look at him. What kind of request was that? What was it with American men?
"I want to hear you say 'dog.' Please?" He flashed her another brilliant grin as he leaped backwards over the curb, slipping slightly on a patch of ice.
"Dog!" She shouted at him, shaking her head at this crazy man.
"Now, coffee." Jack instructed.
"What? No. Why are you asking me these silly questions?" She picked up her pace, annoyed by the man already.
"Let's just call is research. Now, come on. You already said dog for me, let me hear coffee." He was enjoying the fact she was getting flustered.
She threw a deathly glare at him. "Fine. Coffee. And what kind of research is this?"
"Your 'dog' told me you aren't from Boston, and your 'coffee' means you aren't a New Yorker. You didn't say 'like' in every sentence or speak a million miles an hour, so you can't be from California but it was your 'no' that gave you away." He smiled smugly. "That was a very Scandinavian sounding 'o' and combined with the facts that you're carrying a lot of books, means you're strong. I already know your tough, and from the selections of the books your holding, I'm guessing you're pretty intelligent. You're a Mid-Western farmer's daughter aren't you? Minnesota? Nebraska?" He enjoyed her obvious surprise at his knowledge of 'her,' especially since it was her alias.
"Iowa." She gave him a brief smile before looking away and that was all he needed for encouragement.
"Iowa." He repeated with a smile, "They do amazing things with corn I hear."
She gave him another death glare. "Are you finished interrogating me now?" She stopped in front of the glass doors of the English Department building. Her tone that of complete annoyance.
"No, you still haven't told me your name?" He leaned against the glass door, smug smile still in place.
"Goodbye, Jack." She shook her head and disappeared behind the doors.
"Have a good day, Iowa!"
She heard him yell through the doors behind her, causing her to break into a smile while her back was turned.
"Who knew dad was such a comedian?" Sydney giggled in surprise, smiling ear to ear having heard the story of the first meeting between her parents. "So then what happened?"
"He was annoying in his persistence." Irina smiled softly at the memory.
"He knew what he wanted." Sydney smiled brightly, leaning over to nudge Irina softly. "So come on, what happened next?"
"Well, once he knew where I had class on Thursdays, he was waiting outside the building on the following Thursday."
"Hey Iowa!" Jack leapt off the stone railing of the steps when he saw her whiz past him.
"Now what?" Irina sighed when she saw him running up along side of her.
"Can I help you carry your books?" He reached for the stack of books.
She turned away from him sharply.
"No thanks, I can handle them on my own." She picked up her pace wishing the English building was closer.
"You should have a book bag to carry all of those." Jack stuffed his hands into his pockets.
"I'm still waiting." She glanced at him briefly, avoiding eye contact.
"Waiting for what?" Jack asked confused.
"For you to tell me what it is you want from me? You want me to take a test for you or something because you can forget that! And I have no interest in tutoring someone who's only intention is to 'make a move' on me." She tucked her hair behind her ear, as a mesmerized Jack smiled.
Since her arrival, she'd been hit on with every lame come-on line and move there was from every guy she encountered. American college boys only had one thing on their minds she deduced. Sex. They'd been taught that over and over in the Soviet Union that American men were ruled by their sexual drives, which was supposed to make her assignment that much easier. After a couple of months here, she'd experienced it first hand.
"I'm fairly intelligent on my own so I don't need you to take any tests for me, and I certainly don't need a tutor though spending some time with you wouldn't be so bad."
She gave him a stern look that screamed of her annoyance.
"I just enjoyed our little chat the other day and wanted to talk with you again." He shrugged with the same smile she had memorized now, ingrained in her memory. It was hard to forget.
Irina didn't say anything in response, just kept walking in silence until they reached the building. He opened the door and motioned her in.
"Have a nice day, Iowa." Jack smiled brightly at the strange look she was giving him on her way by.
"So, he was stalking you!" Sydney laughed at the irony.
"Yes, he was." Irina smiled as she stood. "We should keep walking to stay warm."
Sydney stood and followed alongside Irina. She was completely enthralled hearing this story of her parents.
"Then what?" She prompted her mother with an enormous smile that reminded Irina of the little girl she once was.
"I ran into him that weekend in the Smithsonian."
"Well hello, Iowa. Fancy running into you here." Jack flashed his bright smile as he came to stand be-side her, looking at the enormous African elephant on display. He could hear her sigh and then finally, shaking her head in disbelief, smiled at him fully for the first time. Jack felt his breath catch in his throat and heart momentarily still.
"I could have you arrested for stalking me."
"I'm not stalking you." He put his hands up in mock surrender. "Seems that fate has decided to keep intertwining our life paths."
"That's very philosophical. What are you a Psych major?" She laughed slightly and stepped around him, moving on to the next exhibit, crossing her arms over her chest.
"Nope, definitely not. International Relations." He followed her.
"Really," She stopped and looked up at him, her finger lightly tracing her bottom lip and hypnotizing Jack. "Interesting."
"If you say so." Jack shrugged. "I don't have to ask what your major is, your books gave you away. English Literature, am I right?"
"Yes." She answered softly, smiling at his obvious nervousness around her.
"You take school pretty seriously don't you?" He watched her every moment, committing it to memory. She was graceful in her movements and her beauty was breathtaking. The way people would stare at her as she passed didn't go unnoticed by Jack. She was the most exotic looking farm girl he'd ever seen. He smiled to himself with the thought he finally engaged her in a conversation.
"Yes. I do take my studies seriously. Don't you?" She walked towards the exit, pausing just briefly to make sure he was following as she zipped her coat.
"Well yes, of course. But I also like to have fun and besides, I'm almost finished." Jack saw the invitation to follow and jumped on it.
"Then aren't you concerned about finding a job with your approaching graduation?" Her eyebrows furrowed with concentration trying to understand these 'American' motivations as they walked down the mall.
"No, actually I've already got a job. I've had it a few years now." He shuffled behind her, guiding her into a café `in search of something warm to drink.
"Really? Doing what?" She asked standing in line.
"Research." Jack answered while staring straight at the menu, pretending to look over the coffee choices, which were black and de-cafe at the time. Hoping she wouldn't ask more questions.
"Research?" She looked at him quizzically and then dropped it.
"How do you like your coffee, Iowa? It's my treat." Jack smiled, melting when she returned the smile.
"Black." She smiled at the nickname that had stuck. She still hadn't given him her first name.
"Black." Jack repeated, raising his eyebrows impressed.
They'd spent the rest of the day and evening walking around the mall, and monuments, chatting on a variety of subjects and nothing too revealing but developing their obvious connection. Jack also discovered it was her birthday and decided he must take her out to celebrate.
They'd shared dinner: Chinese, and a bottle of wine to celebrate the occasion and it was then that Jack heard her infectious laugh for the first time. There was only one word he could use to describe her 'enchanting.' The wine had helped them both to lose inhibitions.
*Brown Eyed Girl*
"Isn't D.C. beautiful?" Jack asked her, amazed by the beauty of the city lights and Christmas decorations, feeling it add to the romantic mood he was in; the sparkle in her big, brown eyes keeping him entranced.
Irina stopped walking to look at her surroundings, really 'look' for the first time since she arrived and saw the beauty in the city and atmosphere he was talking about. She couldn't explain it, or rationalize her connection to this guy but he was 'doing' things to her, changing her internally and her views on what life in America was going to be like.
"It is beautiful." She smiled, wrapping her arms around herself for comfort and warmth watching Jack out of the corner of her eye. She was trying very hard not to fall for the man in front of her, knowing she had an assignment to do. She was told to make friends, encouraged to do so by her superiors to establish herself in this life but she also knew she would have a very hard time keeping her relationship with Jack strictly friends.
"I should go home now." She said suddenly and began walking away, trying to escape him before anything else happened. She couldn't trust herself, especially after the wine. This business was still new to her. She'd completed many assignments in her trial period before getting this assignment and passed with flying colors. But none of those men were this man. This man was different.
"Wait. Where do you live? Maybe we can share a cab?" He smiled catching up with her.
"Here, in Georgetown. Just a few blocks away." She had no idea why she had answered him. 'Yes you do,' she internally admonished herself at her lack of willpower with this man.
"Perfect. I only live a few blocks from here, too." He stuffed his hands into his jacket pockets trying to ward off the cold.
"Why would you offer to share a cab then, if you live here in Georgetown?" She didn't need an answer when he shrugged and she saw his mischievous grin.
When they arrived at three-story, brick-stone apartment building, she'd called home, he offered to walk her up to her apartment on the third floor and she let him, trying the entire way to calm her shaky hands and butterflies.
'302' She stopped in front of the door, leaning against it as Jack nervously took a step toward her.
"I had a wonderful time with you today, Iowa." He smiled nervously, fidgeting where he stood for the first time in his life, nervous around a woman. She was different from the others and he knew it. Never mind the fact he didn't even know her name. He wanted so badly to lean in and kiss her, unsure if he should or not.
Irina saw his intention and his hesitance. She quickly had an internal battle with herself over her options, finally deciding that she wasn't going to start her assignment for the next four months and what was the harm in it? She had no idea, that decision would change the rest of her life forever. Her eyes shifted from his down to his slightly parted lips, leaning in just slightly.
That was all the invitation Jack needed and stepped forward, closing the last of the distance between them. His mouth descended quickly upon her lips in a kiss that literally stole their breath away. His hand resting against her cheek as he pulled away looking into her eyes.
"Your eyes are the most beautiful things I've ever seen." He smiled brightly, in awe and turned on his heel. "Goodnight, Iowa."
Just as he hit the top of the staircase she yelled softly, "Laura!"
"What?" He paused half-stride, unsure of what he'd heard.
"My name…is Laura." She smiled shyly, feeling herself blush.
"Laura." Jack repeated it. The name rolling off of his tongue like a sweet melody to his ears and to hers even if it wasn't her own.
"Goodnight, Laura." He smiled brightly speaking softly.
"Goodnight, Jack." Irina entered her apartment, closed the doors and slid down the back of the door, resting her head back looking toward the sky. "Oh God, what have I done?" She whispered, her concern for letting this man into her life, quickly replaced by a smile in the dark, thinking of him and his kiss.
"Those four months before I found out my assignment," Irina sighed, holding back tears with a smile, "Were amazing. I felt such a sense of complete freedom with Jack in those months. And part of me was elated when I'd learned that he was the CIA agent who'd been assigned as my mark. I was selfish. I didn't want to give him up and if stealing secrets from him was the only way I could keep him." She shook her head and looked away into the darkness, "The rest is history as we know it." Irina was glowing the entire time she recanted the story to Sydney, feeling another freedom in sharing it with her daughter. The only other soul she'd told about how she and Jack met was Katya.
"You never told dad this, did you?" Sydney could hardly contain her smile at what she'd just heard but also saw the look in her mother's eyes.
Irina smiled shyly and shook her head no, she hadn't, while she reached into her coat to stroke the top of Lena's head.
"What is it with you two?" Sydney shook her head at the obvious lack of communication between her parents lately. "You haven't told him things he needs to hear like the first four months of your relationship had nothing to do with your KGB assignment, and he hasn't told you things you need to hear-"
"Like what?" Irina's interest was peaked.
"I'm not going to tell you. He needs to tell you and you need to tell him." Sydney shook her head vehemently with an astonished smile. "I can't believe you haven't told him that yet."
"We haven't exactly had the opportunity to talk about it." Irina shrugged, sinking deeper into her own coat feeling the biting breeze on her cheeks.
"You mean, the past?"
"Yes." Irina admitted, "It's something neither of us has been willing to bring up. But it's glaringly obvious now that we have to deal with it before we can move forward." She took a deep breath and when she exhaled, could see her breath. Looking toward the sky, she realized it had begun to snow again. Large fluffy flakes falling all around them.
"I think you're both ready to move forward. You just need to talk about it. Right now it's just this big, pink elephant in the room that you're both terrified of, when really you have nothing to be afraid of anymore." Sydney turned her palm up to catch a beautiful flake on her glove, watching as it slowly melted away.
"You are far too perceptive sometimes." Irina laughed softly at her daughter, continually amazed by her.
"That's exactly what dad said." Sydney smiled. "But it's easier to see things when you're on the outside. Like with Vaughn and I. You saw us before we did. He came to me, a few days after he was released from the hospital and he told me how he felt about me. That it drove him nuts when I was on missions and he couldn't sleep." She paused and turned to look at Irina, "You'd told me that when we were on the plane to India. That was weeks before Vaughn told me and yet you knew that. He eventually told me later that it was you who had made him realize that he needed to tell me how he felt. That tomorrow isn't always guaranteed, and to hell with the CIA rules! Go with the rules 'between a man and a woman.' He said telling you, how he felt about me, was what you wanted in return for telling him where the anti-dote was."
"My mother had told me," Irina took hold of Sydney's hand, "That love abides by no man-made rules, only those of the heart. I didn't want the two of you wasting time because of some ridiculous rules the CIA had in place."
Sydney remembered those words as the last her grandmother had said to her mother before she was executed. "Thank you." Sydney smiled brightly, snuggling in closer to Irina as they walked. Linking arms, "I don't know if I ever told you or not but the watch you gave Mikhail on his birthday, the one with the inscription?"
"Yes." Irina remembered the watch but had no idea how Sydney knew about it or where she was going with it.
"Well, Vaughn inherited it after his father left. The night Vaughn told me how he felt about me he told me about his father's watch, and that it stopped the day he met me," She paused to gauge Irina's reaction, "October 1st. Do you remember what your inscription said?"
"Yes," Irina nodded, that moment thirty years ago flooding back to her, "Be still my heart when true love finds you."
The irony the watch stopped the day Michael met her daughter was not lost on her.
"It was dated October 1st, 1970" Sydney continued, seeing the awe in her mother's reaction.
"The same day." Irina breathed barely above a whisper. The date combined with the inscription and the people involved, was utterly fascinating. "That is amazing; a testament that our love wasn't meant to be, but that our children were destined for each other. I just…that's amazing."
"Yeah, I know. We were pretty amazed when we realized it, too." Sydney shivered feeling the cold seeping into her bones as they arrived at the front of the hotel where Irina's suite was.
"Perfect timing." Irina unbuttoned her coat as Lena announced she was awake and hungry with her cries.
"So what other questions would you like answers to?" Irina curled her legs up under her as she took a seat on the sofa, feeding Lena and waiting for Sydney to bring in their hot chocolate from the kitchen.
"There are so many things I want to ask you about. I don't know where to start next." Sydney placed the steaming mug on the coffee table in front of her mother, taking a seat on the opposite end of the same sofa. "How about the day I was born? Was it as insane as the day Lena was born?"
*Kung Fu Fighting*
"The day you were born." Irina lit up with an enormous smile. "Oh, it was just as eventful; maybe not quite as dramatic as giving birth in prison but, eventful none the less. You were my first after all and I was only twenty. I was scared to death. I had no idea how to be a mother." She admitted and then laughed thinking about it. "Your father had been out of town on a mission and was flying home that day. I went into labor at around four in the morning but didn't realize it until about six. I called Emily Sloane shortly there after and she came over right away and picked me up and took me to the hospital." She smiled softly at Sydney, remembering the pain of losing her old friend and Sydney's loss of the woman she'd considered her mother then. "That had been the plan if your father was still gone when I went into labor. I called and left a message with his superiors before we left but had no idea if he would get it. When we got to the hospital the contractions were relentless and excruciating. Never in my life had I experienced pain like that up to that point in my life. I was crazy, screaming for your father. I was terrified he wasn't going to make it, and make me go through labor all on my own. The nurses were having a hell of a time trying to keep me calm as the contractions came faster and faster. There were no pain drugs and I felt badly for Emily who looked positively horrified at how much pain I was in. I remember the music at that time playing over the hospital intercom was Kung Fu Fighting, and although hilarious to think about now, it was very appropriate music for that time. I was so feisty with everyone. Definitely in a fighting mood and heaven help the next person who walked into my room."
Sydney was hit with uncontrollable laughter the moment her mother mentioned the song, envisioning the, lethal Irina Derevko in labor and ready to kick-ass with Kung Fu Fighting in the background.
"If you think that's funny, you'll love the song that was playing when your father finally arrived. He'd gone straight home from the airport and finding me, and my bag absent, rushed to the hospital. He looked like hell but the moment he stepped foot in the door I went ballistic on him."
*Why Can't We Be Friends*
"Why Can't We Be Friends? was playing in the background the entire time I was screaming at him for, doing this to me in the first place and then, leaving me alone to go through it by myself. I wanted him to get his, ass over here and hold my hand and then screamed when he made a move to, stay the fuck away from me, if I remember the wording correctly. The poor man looked terrified to come near me. I'm sure I looked worse then Regan did possessed in The Exorcist." Irina laughed uncontrollably as Sydney about fell on the floor convulsing with laughter picturing the scene.
*Father and Daughter*
"But the moment the doctor said it was time to push, your father braved my wrath and was at my side in a heartbeat. I, of course, turned into a sobbing mess, begging him not to leave me. Pregnancy hormones do strange things to you." She shook her head laughing, "He promised he wouldn't of course and the moment the doctor told us you were a girl and laid you on my abdomen was the most beautiful, perfect moment of my life." She smiled with unshed tears of happiness remembering perfectly that moment.
"I'd never loved your father more then in that moment when I looked down and saw for the first time the child we created out of love for one another. You made my life in America real; you were the one thing in my life that wasn't tainted with a lie. Our child created because of the love we shared for each other, and that was the truth. And they took you away and then brought you back and your father placed you in my arms. He was crying and I was crying. And looking down at you while you nursed it suddenly felt like being your mother was the most natural thing in the world. Your father and I both marveled at just how easily the love for you came. The second we heard your cry you'd become the most important thing in both our lives and we'd do anything to protect you, keep you from harm. Something we'd heard about, but couldn't grasp ourselves until that moment." Irina sighed taking hold of Sydney's hand again. "You won't fully understand what I'm talking about, how much I love you, until you have a child of your own. My mother said the same thing to me when she was worried about me. And she was right. I never understood until you."
Sydney was smiling radiantly hearing the story of her birth and how it'd changed her parents.
"Thank you." Sydney leaned forward to hug her mother, "For sharing all of these moments, memories with me. It means so much to me. I love you Mom."
"I know." Irina hugged her back with the one arm that was free, "And I love you, Sweetheart."
"So now where are we off to?" Sydney smiled at Irina sitting beside her in the back seat of the limo the next morning.
"Well, every Christmas for the last thirteen years, I buy gifts for the orphans." Irina smiled warmly thinking about their cute cherubic faces lighting up with excitement, "I've done it every year except last." She gave a wiry smile to Sydney remembering how she'd spent last Christmas in her glass prison at the CIA. "I like to give the gifts to them myself. There's nothing quite like seeing three and four year olds open gifts, especially with these children. It's a chance for them to receive something all their own." She pulled out a stack of paper from her leather briefcase and gave it to Sydney with a smile. "Their wish lists. One is what the children want, the other is what they need: clothes, shoes, etc."
"There are at least a hundred names on this list." Sydney smiled bewildered at yet another fascinating aspect of her mother.
"That's just the Moscow orphanage." Irina laughed softly, "That's not including St. Petersburg's list which is far more complex."
"Why?"
"Well, a couple of years ago I re-organized the orphanages after the horrors that were happening in them after the fall of the Soviet Union. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about?" Irina shook her with a mixture of sadness and anger thinking about it as Sydney nodded she did.
"Anyway, we decided to separate the younger ones from the older ones. When we built the new orphanages and schools here in Moscow and St. Petersburg we decided to keep the newborns and toddlers here, where it's easier for adoptions, as most people want the younger ones sadly; and the older ones, ages six to sixteen in St. Petersburg where they're away from the trouble of Moscow. A lot of these kids will never be adopted and are released from the government's custody on their sixteenth birthday. Before the change, they became homeless, working the streets here in Moscow, getting into drugs, prostitution, contracting and dying of AIDS. It was terrible. Now that we've moved them to St. Petersburg, they have an excellent success rate upon their release. I try to give them best head start I can by getting them into college right away, and so far it's working. "
"That's amazing." Sydney stated in awe as she read through the kids lists. "There are so many of them."
"I know. It's sad, isn't it?" Irina sighed, "But there are a lot less then there were a decade ago. A decade ago, there were no jobs, no homes, no health care. A lot of parents had to give up their children to keep them from dying from starvation. It's a horrible situation to be in as a parent. To give your child up to keep them alive," She reached across the seat and squeezed Sydney's hand, giving her a small smile, knowing all to well how hard it is. "We've done many things to improve the situation and it is working. Our economy is up, people are getting healthier both physically and mentally. A lot is changing…has changed, in Russia."
"You've done an amazing job, Mom." Sydney gave her a dimple faced grin, "I'm still grappling with the fact that you rule Russia." She laughed at how absurd that sounded and then at the reality that it was true. "You never cease to amaze me."
"Neither do you." Irina returned the smile and soft chuckle as she watched the Moscow streets fly by.
"So how can I help, Santa?" Sydney handed the list back to Irina; smile permanently affixed to her face.
"Well, you can start by telling me who Bob the Builder is." Irina laughed looking over the list.
"Who?" Sydney took the list reading what Irina was looking at and laughing hysterically that a toy could be named as such.
"Dora the Explorer? Suddenly children's toys have occupations? Whatever happened to Cookie Monster?" Irina took back part of the list, sharing in the laughter. "Ah ha!" She pointed to a request for stuffed Cookie Monster and Elmo.
"He's still around?" Sydney thought back to her own childhood remembering Cowabunga and Oh-boy-oh-boy-oh-boy almost thirty years later.
"He's older then you!" Irina held in her laugh as she replied with her best stoic voice, "He's obviously survived the mid-life crisis that Burt and Ernie didn't."
Sydney burst into hysterics at how funny Irina was turning out to be. She remembered her being funny when she was little, but then what kid doesn't think their parents are funny when they're little? These last few weeks, had been her only real observation of her mother as an adult outside the guarded glass, and emotions of the CIA.
"Oh my god, Mom, you're hilarious!" Sydney kept giggling as the pulled up to the front of a massive toy department store.
"I have my moments." Irina shrugged with a grin as she adjusted Lena's blanket in the car seat
Four hours, a million laughs and thousands of dollars later, Irina's limo followed by five delivery vans pulled in behind the orphanage set just outside the city limits in one of the nicer suburbs.
The new building was three stories, brick covered and beautiful.
"Irina!" An older grandmotherly-looking type woman emerged from the building, shoulders draped in a traditional shawl and obviously shivering.
Irina took two steps to greet her and shared a warm embrace with smiles as the men in the vans began carrying in the hundreds of boxes of gifts.
"It's been so long! We missed you last year!" She cupped Irina's cheeks to look at her.
"I was unavoidably detained." Irina replied with a small smile and quick wink to Sydney. "Svetlana did ok filling in for me though, no?"
"Of course! She was wonderful! But we still missed you!" The older woman smiled warmly, peering to look at the curious young woman standing a few feet behind Irina holding a covered car seat.
"And this beautiful creature must be your daughter, Sydney." She smiled, pronouncing Sydney with a thick Russian accent as she switched to English. "I've seen your picture in the papers and on TV! Your mother has become something of a celebrity around here." She laughed as Irina began to blush, something Sydney didn't think possible. "Though we've known for years just how special Irina is to Russia with all the wonderful things she's done for the children." She turned back to Irina with a teasing scolding tone, "Though I had no idea that you were, 'the Romanov!' I suspected, but you, little sneak, never said a word! Not to mention some big secret 'spy!' You are a woman of many talents I see."
Irina just smiled with an apologetic shrug taking the car seat with Lena from Sydney.
"Oksana," She gently ran her hand down Sydney's arm, moving to stand beside her, "I'd love to introduce you to my girls. Sydney, this lovely woman is Oksana, or as she's known around her, Babushka, my trusted friend who looks after all my 'little ones.'"
The woman's face immediately lit up hearing Irina speak so highly of her.
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Sydney." The woman greeted her in broken English with an enormous smile. "You are as beautiful as your mother." The woman grabbed her in a fierce hug, surprising Sydney.
"It's wonderful to meet you, too." Sydney replied in almost flawless Russian, surprising the woman in turn. "And thank you, Oksana."
"You speak almost perfect Russian!" The older woman pulled her back to look at her, switching to Russian herself. "How wonderful!" She smiled happily between Irina and Sydney, "But please call me Babushka!" She playfully pinched Sydney's cheek, "And who's the little one hiding under there?" She nodded toward the car seat with an enormous smile.
"This Sleeping Beauty is our Lena," Irina smiled as she flipped the blanket back just enough to reveal the sleeping baby, snuggly warm under her white fur.
"Oh, she's so tiny! And beautiful!" The woman ran her fingers lightly over Lena's head before returning the warm blanket covering. "Irina, I had no idea you were even expecting until I read it in the paper that you'd had a baby!" She shivered, wrapping her arms around her tightly.
"Let's go inside, its freezing out here and you don't have a coat on!" Irina herded them towards the big wooden doors.
"The children are so excited to see you! It's all they've been talking about for weeks!" Babushka showed them through the doors and into the giant, main room.
A big, beautiful Christmas tree decorated in blue and white lights sat at its center. It was the largest Christmas tree Sydney had seen in her life other than the one at Rockefeller Center in New York, but this one was indoors. It nearly scraped the ceiling.
Irina had instructed the men with the gifts to leave them piled up around the base of the tree and the giant stacks of gifts now surrounded it.
"The children are all waiting upstairs. Do you want me to have the nurses bring them down in groups?" She took their coats from them, handing the heavy fur coats off to a shy young woman who was obviously an assistant and in awe of Irina, Sydney thought, as she couldn't stop staring at her only to look away nervously when Irina returned the eye contact.
"No, no! Don't make them wait! You know I love the chaos anyway." Irina smiled brightly as she situated her sleeping baby near the big, red, plush chair she was going to be sitting in watching the children.
"I thought you'd say that." The woman chuckled with a smile, "I'll bring them all down. Get ready!" She raised her eyebrows at Sydney with a deep laugh.
Sydney looked quickly to Irina who gave her the same bright smile with a small laugh.
"There will be one little girl in particular that will be ecstatic to meet you." Babushka added mysteriously before disappearing into the other room.
Less then a minute later, the sounds of hundreds of little feet could be heard thundering overhead and down the steps as small Russian voices cried out in excitement.
As soon as the first wave of children hit the entrance to the room and saw the mounds of gifts they stopped dead in their tracks before jumping and shouting with glee. More and more children came tearing through the doors, with older ones helping along their younger comrades, who were still knew to this experience.' The older seasoned pros of this Christmas tradition, all of five years old, came to sit immediately in front of Irina and Sydney in the red chairs next to the tree.
Sydney was astounded by how many kids were coming through the door and how tame they seemed even with their excitement. Irina was right about 'their cute cherubic' faces and Sydney's heart went out to all of them watching as they bubbled with laughter and smiles. Her mother seemed to be glowing with happiness. A team of handlers seemed to wrangle up the few stray two year-olds before they launched themselves into the packages, ready to rip open everything.
When the last of the nurses entered the back of the room carrying the babies, Babushka stood in front of the sea of small faces seated before them on the floor and announced Irina.
A roar of little cheers went up when Irina stood to greet them, speaking so softly and motherly it made Sydney choke up as her heart remembered. This…was the mother she remembered as a child, and here was another example of proof that it hadn't all been a lie.
Irina told them she had a special helper with her today, and introduced Sydney as her daughter.
Sydney suddenly felt very self-conscious with hundreds of little eyes staring her down in wonder. Irina then asked for some helpers to pass out gifts and tons of little arms shot into the air. She randomly picked twenty or so older children who excitedly ran to stand beside her. They were going to pass out all of the gifts first, and then open them at the same time. Irina began calling out the children's names on the list to locate each child and Sydney and Babushka would hand the little helpers the gifts for that child. It suddenly became a game to see how fast they could get the presents to each child as it meant they would get to open theirs that much faster.
When Irina came to the last name on the list, she paused momentarily to look at Sydney with a smile.
"And last but definitely not least, Sydney." She read and Sydney's head whipped to look at her mother in surprise and then to the shy little dark haired girl in the back with her hand raised high. She turned back to Irina with unshed tears, her eyes asking and answering her own questions. "I named her after you." Irina smiled with her own glistening eyes. "She arrived two days before Christmas five years ago, without a name. Oksana gave me the honor of naming her. I chose to name her after you, my own little girl so far away but forever in my heart."
Irina made a 'come here' hand gesture towards the little girl with a smile and the little girl's face lit immediately with joy.
When she was a few feet away, Irina knelt down and the little girl ran into her arms, throwing her own little arms around Irina's neck. Irina scooped her up in a big hug and kissed her cheeks before setting her down.
"Sydney," She addressed the little girl, "This is my daughter Sydney, the one you are named after. Do you remember the stories I told you about my Sydney?" She tucked the little girls hair behind her ear just as she'd done with her own Sydney so many times when she was little.
"The pretty little princess who lived in a far off place. Yes, I remember." The little girl looked nervously up at Sydney, backing up against Irina. "You are very pretty." She finally smiled.
"So are you." Sydney squatted down to her level, "It's a pleasure to meet you." Sydney kissed both of her cheeks in the traditional Russian greeting. "Would you like to sit with me while you open your gifts?"
The little girl nodded eagerly and Irina smiled brightly as Sydney scooped up the child and sat with her in the chair. Irina felt a tugging on her pant leg and looked down to find a crawling baby using her leg to pull himself up to stand.
When he finally accomplished his goal he looked up at her with a big toothy grin, and his chubby hand opening and clenching his fingers in a gesture for her to pick him up.
"Well Hello." Irina smiled and scooped up the little guy, who was obviously taken with her. He immediately rested his head against her shoulder and placed one chubby hand against neck, holding on.
"I guess you've found your helper, Nicolai." Babushka smiled, and kissed the baby boy as she walked by.
Irina laughed when he moved his hand to hold onto her ear instead, with the same big gurgling smile.
*Russian Dance*
On her command of, Go, the children went wild ripping into their gifts. Mass chaos, was the only phrase that came into Sydney's mind as she looked to her mother and the little boy in her arms, both bursting into enormous smiles at the children's excited shouts of thrill as they'd all received what they'd wanted. Some of the smaller ones were more interested in the massive amounts of paper, boxes and bows as was typical with babies.
Seeing the look of complete and utter joy on each of their little faces, she fully understood why her mother would want to do this in person. Giving gifts, especially to children, was always more fun then receiving them.
Her namesake had become quit comfortable in her lap and was talking rapidly with excitement as she cuddled her new baby doll. The exact same doll she remembered her sneaky mother asking her to pick out the one she would want to have if she were five years old again. Knowing all the while it was intended for the little girl she'd named after Sydney.
No matter how many times she'd seen it, or said it in her head, she still couldn't get over how amazing her mother really was. All of these little things that weren't so little Irina had been doing all these years. Still so much to learn about and from her mother.
Sydney looked over across the room to see Irina being mobbed with tiny leg-huggers in thanks for their presents.
A couple of them, twin boys wearing their new cowboy hats and holsters, had even taken up residence sitting on her feet with their little arms wrapped around her legs and giggling hysterically as she drug them across the floor as she walked, still carrying baby Nicolai. Irina stopped mid-stride when she heard Lena begin to cry, waking up from her afternoon nap.
"I'll get her." Babushka smiled happily as she picked up Lena and snuggled her into her warm, grandmotherly, embrace. "Well hello, Little Beauty." She cradled Lena in her arms once she stopped crying, more interested in the voice of the new stranger holding her.
Irina saw her baby was in good hands and continued the ride for the little cowboys begging her to continue as they drug along their new Bob the Builder dolls.
"She's so good with them." Babushka said to Sydney as she sat next to her in Irina's vacant chair, smiling at all the happy faces around her. "I always knew she must have been a great mother. There was always a certain happiness pained with sadness in her eyes when she spoke of you or interacted with the children. Held them in her arms."
"You knew she had a daughter?" Sydney was a little surprised.
"Yes, of course. She spoke of you briefly, a few times. I had no idea the events surrounding the reasons you weren't with her, only that you were with your father. I could tell it pained her to talk about you, so I never asked why. I assumed it had something to do with the old Soviet ways. So many tragedies from that time. After reading in the news the events and circumstance surrounding your separation, I can see now, why it was so painful. To lose her mother, the husband she loved and her child. She's a much stronger woman then I." The older woman patted Sydney's hand with a small smile. "And today, I don't see that sadness that used to haunt her eyes. Having you back in her life has done away with it; gave her back that missing piece in her heart."
"As she's filled in my own missing piece." Sydney replied softly, watching her mother hugging and tickling every laughing child that came her way, in a game of Snuggle War.
Little Sydney had ran over and joined into the fun as children were coming at Irina from all sides, trying to get as close as they could and then escape before she caught them.
"Every child here envies you," Babushka smiled softly after a minute of watching Irina with the children, "Because she is your mother and you get to go home with her."
Sydney smiled softly, with a hint of sadness remembering her own envy of children with their mothers when she was a motherless child.
Copious amounts of sugar cookies, peppermint ice cream and hot chocolate later, it was time to leave. Irina had given every single child a hug and kiss 'goodbye.'
"Sure, you give them presents, fill with them up with sugar and then you leave us to put them all to bed!" Babushka smiled teasingly to Irina as she hugged them goodbye.
Irina just laughed, remembering how difficult it had been to get Sydney to bed after days like to day as a child. She didn't envy her staff at all for the task ahead.
"Irina, before you go I have some exciting news about our little Sydney. She's found a family." Babushka's eyes started to tear as she saw Irina's startled reaction. "The paper work will be finalized in January and then she will be going home with them."
Irina felt herself getting choked up. Of course she was happy that the child had finally found a real family, but it also meant she was going to have to say goodbye forever. "Where is she going?"
"You are never going to believe. Sydney, Australia." Babushka laughed through her tears. "Like it was meant to be. The couple are wonderful people who just adore Sydney. It is a good home, Irina."
"I'm sure it is." Irina smiled happily through her own tears. "Please let me know when they arrive to take her home. I want to be here to meet them, help them through their court hearing. To say goodbye."
"Of course." Babushka kissed her cheek and then Sydney's and Lena's. "Have a wonderful time to night with your surprise." She smiled at Sydney with a wink to Irina. "Da svidanya."
"What surprise?" Sydney asked curiously once they were inside the limo.
"I have surprise for you." Irina smiled mischievously with that knowing gleam in her eye.
"You're not going to tell me?" When Irina nodded 'no,' with the same smile, "Not even a hint?"
"Something I always wanted to do when you were a child, but ran out of time." Irina ran her hand down the back of Sydney's head, smoothing her hair in a loving gesture.
"Well, that could be a lot of things." Sydney responded quickly then apologized quickly seeing the flash of sadness in Irina's eyes. "Sorry, I didn't mean-"
"Sydney, it's ok. Stop apologizing. We both missed out on a lot and now its time to start filling in those gaps. That's what we're doing tonight." She smiled brightly. "Just you and me."
"What about Lena?" Sydney was surprised to hear her mother was going to trust someone to look after her newborn sister, and how hard it was going to be on Irina to leave her.
"I've found some very trust worthy babysitters who are more then eager to get to spend a few hours with your sister." She smiled brushing her fingers lightly over the back of Lena's cheek.
"What about security?" Sydney asked concerned about possible kidnapping plots out there with Irina's new celebrity and Sloane and Cuvee still out there somewhere.
"Tighter then the NSA." Irina gave her that famous enigmatic grin.
Sydney remembered the last time her mother used that same phrase. When she was about to break into…
"The Kremlin! Who's babysitting? The Putins?" Her eyes were wide.
"Yes, actually. A perfect arrangement. I trust them explicitly and their Presidential presidium is inside the Kremlin, not far from where we'll be." She stopped before revealing her surprise. "Vladimir told me yesterday that Lyudmila and the girls have been itching to see her, spend time with a new baby; so everything works out perfectly. I get some alone time with you, and Lena gets spoiled with attention for a few hours."
Sydney was glowing; alone time with her mother. Not that she didn't love all of them together, or that Lena took so much attention away from Sydney, but the idea of a few hours of Irina all to herself made her ecstatic.
"Well, you're being very mysterious, Mom." Sydney laughed, taking hold of Irina's hand in her lap. "But I am excited to see what you've got planned."