Update: Tweaked/rewritten October 2020.
More Demons than Angels
Dropping her hands hadn't been the best move defensively Athrun could have done. The Berserker shifted and kicked her right foot out, swiping the young commander's feet out from under him to have him fall painfully onto the cemented road. His butt and lower back bore the brunt of his weight instead of his arms, his elbows only scraping across the gravel when his body reacted to keep his head from smacking against the hard surface. The Berserker's body was on him, her knee jammed into Athrun's gut and hands braced on both his biceps at the sides. The hold wasn't perfect, but that hadn't been the Berserker's goal anyway.
Eclipse watched him slowly open his startled eyes, looking into hers and she couldn't help the snarl across her lips.
"Y-you know," Athrun breathed, as if saying it out loud would somehow clear the air.
"Of course I know!" she hissed in response, the shout instantly bringing the others to their side. A car passed near them on the road, honking its horn in protest as it swerved wide around to the opposite lane. The noise had been so loud the Berserker almost didn't hear it. A blonde girl had joined the Strike pilot on the other side of the fence, her being the first one to see their fight, if her shouting was any indication.
The Berserker looked up instantly to see her and Athrun must have noticed the expression on her face change. He arched his head back to see the blonde walking towards the gated fence and despite the angle, he recognized her. It was Cagalli.
Dearka slipped his arms under Eclipse and pulled her off Athrun before the fight could go any further, the Berserker not putting up much of a fight despite the emotional battle in Eclipse's mind. It was seething—it was pissed, but it's focus was on Athrun and that Strike pilot.
"You protected her too!" Athrun spat and the Berserker looked down at him as she was pulled up. While Athrun had a view of the battle, Eclipse was certain he wouldn't have seen her hesitate when she had the shot at the bridge. There was no way he could have seen why she hadn't fired. Perhaps her words in the infirmary on Gibraltar had stuck with him and while not completely untrue, the fact that he might think she was trying to protect Cagalli and not FS and Stray was almost amusing. Athrun must have caught the Berserker's hostile look at the statement because his confidence wavered a bit before Nicol stepped into view.
"Enough!" Nicol hissed, making only the briefest of movements when he saw her eyes.
"Knock it off!" Dearka growled at the same time, throwing Eclipse off to the side as soon she was clear of their downed commander. She stumbled slightly until she got her footing, but didn't try to attack any of them again. The Berserker had left, but her fury remained, a brief reminder that she her and her sadistic half might not be that different after all.
"We got our proof," Eclipse spat, bearing the brunt of the team's anger and confusion until the rest of them turned to Athrun. "Right, Athrun?" The commander and she glared at each other for a short moment until he sighed.
"Yes, there was an Earth Alliance emblem on that kid's uniform that said his registration number and ship. It said he was on the Archangel."
Liar, Eclipse thought and growled to accent the words, but didn't do anything more. Nicol, Dearka, and Yzak were suspiciously looking at both of them, perhaps making the connection that Eclipse had attacked Athrun for that reason alone. Although, that would imply Eclipse was too much of a loose cannon and would attack anyone from that ship on sight. Her earlier actions had suggested as such, but she was far more in control than that. And they had been too far away to see any sort of emblem.
There had to be something else going on.
"C'mon, let's go," Yzak said after another moment of tense silence, looking over at Eclipse before flipping the safety on her gun and taking it with him. He wasn't about to give it back until they were at the apartment. "Let's finish this conversation somewhere else."
Athrun explained further when they had arrived at the apartment, the pilots each taking to various places throughout the apartment. Athrun stood in the middle of the living room on the other side of the coffee table, facing the sofa where Nicol and Dearka were sitting on opposite ends. Yzak was standing behind them and Eclipse was off to the side, leaning against the wall closest to the hallway and her room. Once the meeting was over, she was going to go pack and be out of that situation as soon as possible.
"There'll be a carrier sub waiting for us with each of our mobile suits," Athrun explained. I'll inform our hosts that we need to leave as soon as possible and we'll probably leave the same way we came in." Nicol gave a verbal confirmation, but Eclipse cursed quietly, her eyes on the floor.
"Should we stay and try to get more information about the ship?" Dearka asked and Athrun seemed to think on it before answering, Nicol joining in on the discussion. Eclipse didn't want to hear any of it. The thought had also crossed her mind, but she wasn't thinking of getting information about the Archangel. No, she was debating destroying it. If she used her own methods—her commander's orders be damned—she could get in and maybe even blow up the facility they were using to hide the Archangel. If she got in trouble when she returned to ZAFT, she could always rat out Athrun, she knew. The thought tasted sour in her mouth, but she knew she could do it. All of this was bigger than Athrun and his friendship with the pilot.
They were just so close.
Her gun came into view then, the weapon cradled in Yzak's hand as he held it out to her. She followed the line up to his face and his neutral expression. "Here," he said simply. Her eyes rested on his scar for a second, internally debating whether she should tell him what he had stopped her from doing. Bringing it up then seemed almost too cruel because there wasn't anything any of them could do about it, but it did cross her mind. There was even a chance Yzak would help her with her vendetta, but knowing what that level of guilt might do him, however, forced her to abandon the idea. They would be fighting the Archangel as soon as it left Orb territory and she needed him at full strength to destroy the Strike.
She took the gun without saying anything, looking back down at the floor as he walked away. The entire team deserved to know what was going on, but the threat of division was too great. They had gained quite a bit of camaraderie over this past mission, she knew, so she bit her tongue.
And cursed.
They snuck out again that evening, their very handsomely compensated hosts even managing to procure a wetsuit for Eclipse. It was a quiet journey, but tense. The redhead hadn't spoken to any of her comrades since her brush in with them outside of Morgenroete and the only one to attempt such a feat was Nicol who had failed miserably both times.
They were greeted warmly by the crew of the carrier submarine, shuffling the team away to a very low-key celebration on confirming the Archangel's whereabouts. Perhaps no one had actually thought the mission would be a success and, really, for a time it was looking to be that way. Instead, they now came back to ZAFT as small-time heroes even if only for a couple of hours.
Eclipse wanted nothing to do with it. She bailed the moment she could, quickly dropping off her stuff in her room before fleeing to the cockpit of the Stealth after she had re-donned her elite uniform. Addict had come back in range again and apparently she had a message waiting for be read. Since she typically received those things via paper, she found herself morbidly curious.
The hangar was empty except for one mechanic who looked to be running a diagnostics on the Aegis nearby. She nodded to her as she slipped her right foot into the zip tie at the base and rode it to her cockpit.
"Welcome back," the CA said dryly, its monotone sounding vaguely annoyed for being abandoned for so long.
"Bring up the messages on the screen please, Addict."
"Roger that."
There were a couple there. Two were from Commander Le Creuset confirming he had received her most recent reports on SIN-ED and the last one could only be from her fellow genetic reject. Sighing, she shook her head lightly, honestly happy to have something to think about other than her complete failure to kill the Strike pilot.
She opened the message and froze.
The message was only three words long, but the weight those words had placed on Eclipse was profound and her fingers dug into the fabric on her thighs.
Pride killed Gluttony.
Other than the reoccurring name of "Bob" at the end of the message, that was it. Those three words.
Stray was dead.
So, that was it? That was what her life as a soldier had become? A series of events where she had failed to kill someone for some reason or another and, in the end, they ended up killing someone she cared for in return? Was that why she had endured all that on Januarias 4? Was her power only useful for sitting on the sidelines and just watching the tragedies unfold?
"Never again," she hissed, a couple tears falling down her cheeks as she hung her head and the Berserker returned.
"No more."
Athrun had been whisked away to meetings after the minor celebration, only noting Eclipse's absence after Nicol had brought it up once his second meeting had ended. The musician was clearly concerned and as the team's commander, he was expected to check up on his comrades. "I have a couple more meetings to take part in, but I'll check up on her later," he had said, frowning when Yzak had called him a coward, apparently hearing their discussion as he headed toward the hangar himself, it seemed.
"Athrun, please," Nicol pleaded. "She hasn't said anything since we came back and you so unprofessionally refused to question her on her conduct back in Orb. Obviously, there's something going on neither of you are telling us."
"You think I didn't question her because I'm hiding something?" Athrun snapped, exhaustion in his voice outweighing the abrupt anger. Perhaps he was just getting tired. After all, he knew Eclipse had caught on and it was only a matter of time before the others did too.
Nicol sighed. "I can't say I'm not accusing you, but something's wrong. I don't have to remind you of the coming battle, so why the hell are we all arguing like this?"
"There's a lot involved."
"And you know I'm a very patient person."
Defeated, Athrun sighed a started walking to the hanger. "I-it's just that I've been in something for so long, I never realized what it did to other people."
"But…" the musician egged, feeling as if there was some kind of catch. Did this have something to do with that friend of his?
"I'm beginning to think it's not worth it that much anymore. After seeing Eclipse—realizing how far she was willing to go, I don't think I have the right anymore."
"Right for what?" Nicol asked, but never got an answer. By that time, they had reached the hangar and the loud bickering echoing from the inside. So loud, in fact, it was easy to determine who they were.
"Just tell Athrun to talk to her!" Dearka yelled, swinging his right arm out wide. "It's not like she's listening to us so—"
"We don't need to bring that rule-based, Aegis-finger-up-the-ass commander into this. Damn it, Dearka, you saw what happened in Orb just as much as I did. Somehow, I doubt he's the one to solve anything. Try whining and wagging your tail at someone else for a change!" Yzak countered as he braced his hands on his hips. Such a defiant little couple. "What does he got that I—"
"Why does everything have to come down to dick size with you?" Dearka cut in. "Something is bothering Eclipse and all you want to do is bring out the yard stick!"
"What was that?"
Nicol and Athrun just stood in awe, knowing Dearka just breeched the "no trespassing" zone when it came down to Yzak's pride. Everyone thought it, but no one ever said it.
It seemed the blond would be the one winning the sizing contest.
"Stop sounding like you're some pussyfooted baby who just had his bottle taken away. Man up and ask him for—" Dearka stopped, swinging his left arm towards the hangar entrance and seeing the other two redcoats standing there. "Uh—shit," he cursed.
"What?" Yzak—still furious—turned to the door as well, offering up a string of his own profanities once he saw the last two members of his contest standing there. After all of that he could never show his—uh—face in the locker room showers again.
A short, awkward silence passed between them until Nicol cleared his throat and smiled. "Does this mean I win the pot?"
As if to answer his question, a wrench flew out of the Stealth's open cockpit, landing just behind Yzak. If he hadn't have stepped forward to try and retaliate, that tool would have been wedged in his skull. Given the past conversation, it probably would've done him some good.
"Hey!" the Duel pilot yelled.
"Stop talking about me as if I'm going to judge your damn contest. Haven't you ever learned to leave a girl alone when she's pissed?" Eclipse responded, her voice echoing from the cockpit. "You're lucky that wasn't a nine millimeter, jackass."
There was a bit more shouting and bickering as Athrun sighed and walked over to the lift in front of the Stealth, glad the others kept her occupied. Perhaps she wouldn't notice him coming, then again she was always terribly observant. Oh well, maybe his optimism would actually keep him safe this time.
"Calm down already!" Dearka yelled from the floor just as the lift reached the cockpit. He stood off to the side of the opening, not wanting a wrench in his skull either. There was no response from Eclipse inside and Athrun peered in.
Gun.
Cursing, the commander dropped flat onto the lift before the bullet could catch him in the chest, however, nothing happened. Perhaps she had finally realized her actions were going to have severe consequences. That was a good sign at least. "Y'know, everyone's worried about you," Athrun began, slowly getting to his feet. Straightening his uniform, he lifted his head to peer inside. "They're not really sure why you're acting like… this." The last few words dribbled out of his mouth as he looked up and down the end of the barrel. He followed the line of the gun to her face, resting on the pupiless eyes and withholding a shiver. She's still that way, I see.
"But you know why."
He sighed. "Eclipse—"
"He was right there, Athrun. Right there!"
"We were in neutral territory. Killing him would've—"
"So, you admit to knowing him? Knowing he was the Strike pilot?" The commander didn't answer, and said a silent thank you for having the rest of his teammates out of hearing range. "Is that your so-called friend? The one who castrates you every battle?"
"Hey—"
"He killed Waltfeld, Aisha—"
"And how many people have you killed? Being a murderer in a war shouldn't condemn a man to death."
"Listen to yourself!" Eclipse screamed, swinging her gun arm out wide. It luckily missed everything in the cockpit. The last thing they needed was an accidental firing, especially with her bridging on the edge corporal punishment. "I should be burned alive for what I've done!"
"I'm willing to—"
"Just wait," she cut in. "Wait until he kills someone close to you and then tell me how forgiving you'll feel! Do you think he cares? Do you think he'll stop just because that person he's about to kill is someone you know?"
Athrun had no response, hell, the Berserker had run out of steam and left, her rage following and leaving her exhausted. Namarra's message had made it very clear how minuscule the feeling of "friendship" was in a war. FS and Stray were on the same side and still FS felt the need to kill off his friend. How then could a relationship between opposing armies hope to survive?
She sighed, resting the gun in her lap as she looked down. "I wish it was possible, Athrun, but I'm sorry, that optimism has no place in war," Eclipse began, taking a steadying breath. With her rage having fled with her other half the pain and anguish from that message was returning. She was no longer angry or numb and she cursed, actually wishing that feeling would return. Perhaps Namarra had been right and the Berserker was like a drug. If that was the case, she was losing the battle already.
"I know it doesn't," Athrun admitted after a few moments, leaning to his right against the cockpit opening, crossing his arms over his chest. "But a part of me still wants to believe in it."
Belief, she thought, thinking back on her experiences with Heine when they had first run into SIN-ED. She had believed then that she could save them—save them from whatever madness they were clearly sinking into. But it wasn't belief, it was naivety.
"Pride killed Gluttony," she said softly, breaking the small silence that had fallen between them.
"What?"
"SIN-ED," she said simply and while he might not have known much, he knew enough about that word alone. "One of my friends just killed the other one. Being optimistic is naïve."
"Enough," he said simply, the authority in his voice making her tense. Perhaps he was getting better at this commander thing after all. "Go get some rest. We all need to be ready for when the 'Legged Ship' leaves Orb."
She looked up at him and his face matched the seriousness of the command. Either he had begun playing a role as their commander or he was starting to believe it. "Yes, sir," was her only response, slipping past him and onto the lift after she put the gun back into the holster at her side. Thankfully, the others had left the hangar floor so she didn't have to face the full wrath and pity of the Zala team, but she was sure she couldn't avoid them for long.
Athrun caught a glimpse of the screen as she climbed out, reading the message and the name "Bob" typed below. So, she hadn't found the information herself. Is this an ally? His first reaction was a sense of betrayal. Did Commander Le Creuset know about this person? Should he press her for more information? Technically, she wasn't to report to him, but he knew enough to understand that a trusted associate outside of ZAFT made him nervous.
He would have to bring it up later.
"I'm glad to see you look a bit better," Nicol commented, plopping down next to Eclipse. It was the middle of the day and they were sitting on the outside deck, waiting for the submarine carrier to be refueled and supplied. It was one of the precautions Athrun had made and, frankly, it was a good idea. They had no idea when the Archangel was going to leave port and if they were unprepared when it did decide to leave—well—everything they had done before would have been pointless. After all the things that had happened in Orb, Eclipse really didn't want to lose her chance at the Strike.
Damn, she was starting to sound like Yzak.
"Or, aren't you feeling any better?" Nicol pressed, hearing no immediate response. She looked fine to him, but no matter how observant he was around the others, Eclipse was still hard to read. Whatever had happened at Morgenroete two days earlier had really upset her, but he had no more idea as to what than he had had at the time. No doubt it was a serious matter because no matter how upset, and despite how much she had changed, Nicol figured even Eclipse wouldn't attack a commanding officer without a good reason. To make matters even more suspicious, Athrun hadn't written her up for it.
Outright asking her about it might put her in a defensive mood and if that happened, he would never get through to her at all, so he figured he would wait and let her talk in her own time. "I guess it's okay if you ignore me," he said after a few more moments of continued silence. "Do you mind if I sit here though?" At least he got something out of her that time. The redhead shook her head and shrugged, resting her chin back on her knees as she stared out at the water.
Nicol smiled lightly and followed her gaze, sinking into his own thoughts as the waves splashed up against the side of the ship. It seemed like such a long time ago since this damn war had started and yet they had gotten nowhere. Their team was assigned one thing, bring down the 'Legged Ship' and they hadn't even accomplished that. Hell, they hadn't even come close. Given their number of mobile suits and the ones on that ship, their amount of notches in the losing column should have been down to at least one. It was all so pathetic. "What are we doing wrong?" he asked himself.
"Nothing," Eclipse replied, hearing the quiet muttering. "There's just more demons than angels in this world."
"That's a funny thing to say," Nicol responded. "Are you implying that we're the demons? Or the angels?"
"Perhaps we're both, drifting back and forth from Heaven and Hell depending on the situation," the redhead explained, sounding exhausted as she talked. "I must be in the middle right now because I feel very human at the moment."
She buried her face in the nook between her knees after the statement. Nicol would have said she was crying, but that didn't seem to be the case. She was stronger than that, he knew, and her stance alone proved that. Human, yes, she was human. Sitting in a fetal position only proved her point, but it wasn't necessarily a bad thing.
"Every once and a while, I think it's okay to feel human. It means you can look forward to being an angel, and you know you have the power to overcome your demonic side. Besides," he added, feeling a bit foolish in his train of thought, but seeming to have some point behind it. "I think being human gives you more choices and the chance to learn from the bad decisions, right?"
Bad decisions? Eclipse asked herself, finding more irony in the words than probably even Nicol understood. "Have you ever made any bad decisions?" she asked, her question muffled down into the crook between her chest and her knees. She wanted to add, "Bad decisions that got your friends killed?" but withheld. He was trying to make her feel better, not get sucked into her bad mood with her.
She heard him shrug. "Plenty, but somehow I think you're talking about something a little darker than, for example, wearing the wrong tie to a recital."
Eclipse gave a small chuckle; she couldn't help it. The innocence in the answer was refreshing and she lifted her head, leaning it back against the ship's side. She sighed before turning to look at him.
"What?" he asked, surprised by her look but happy to see even the barest of smiles on her lips.
"Well, you going to tell me the story or not?"
He shook his head and turned back to the water. "I'm too embarrassed, to be completely honest, but there are, unfortunately, pictures."
She laughed lightly again. "Then I have some research to do the next time we're at port."
"You wouldn't dare…"
"Oh, I think you know me a bit better than that by now." She laughed again. "I'm sure they're not that bad."
He shrugged again and they slipped into a comfortable silence that time his eyes still trained on the water.
Eclipse closed her eyes, feeling the sun against her face for the first time in a couple of days. Knowing Stray had been killed wasn't doing much for her mental health and being cooped up on board with her four, restless teammates wasn't helping matters either. The sooner the Archangel left Orb, the better.
"H-hey, look!" Nicol shouted suddenly, Eclipse opening her eyes and following his finger to something just off the bow. Jumping from the surface was a school of flying fish, their blue fins and scales reflecting the sunlight for a few seconds before they dove back into the water. More jumped from the water a second later, looking like a circus trying to entertain its audience. "I'll get Athrun," he announced, jumping to his feet and heading over to the other side of the ship.
Eclipse hadn't even known the young commander was so close. Perhaps she should go apologize, but stopped herself. Yes, she might've been able to save Stray if she had killed FS sooner, but none of that mattered anymore; she had realized that too late. FS was going to answer to what he had done with Stray, just like the Strike pilot was going to pay. No, she had to keep pushing Athrun. If his EA friend was anything like FS—if only in circumstance—he could kill someone close to them. Better to get him before that happened.
Right?
Shaking her head, she just let the matter go, still not willing to move from her seat. It had been a couple of days since the Berserker had been seething in the Stealth's cockpit and since then, she had just been so… exhausted. Her anger was gone. Not completely, but was definitely depleted enough to make her more melancholy than pissed. Eventually, when the battle would come up, she was sure she would be able to get that anger back, but she couldn't help thinking, was it all worth it? She couldn't bring anyone back to life, only avenge them. Satisfying for a little bit, maybe, but…
Don't do that right now, she thought sharply. The second you give up, is the second someone dies.
"Eclipse—hey!" Nicol called. "Come join us!" Apparently, Nicol had joined Athrun on the other side and stayed there. Based on the partial fins she saw off their side of the ship, the flying fish were over there as well. She sighed, not having the heart to deny the request. She had to get her head back on straight and the best way to do that, was to remind herself who she was trying to protect. Losing Stray had opened her eyes to one thing at least.
She didn't want to lose anyone else.
"A ship is separating from the enemy fleet!" the intercom blared. They were all waiting in their mobile suits for this kind of report, but there was still no guarantee it was the Archangel. They waited anxiously for the confirmation, the universal communication line open for their team, but no one even dared breathe. They were positioned just outside of Orb territory and a fleet had left the nation that morning. They were in the spot to intercept, they just needed it to be the right ship.
"Identifying… the 'Legged Ship!'"
Eclipse smirked, Yzak said something unintelligent, and Dearka whistled. "Hah! Apparently, all that time gathering intelligence wasn't a waste after all," Nicol remarked, his admiration coming through clearly.
"We're taking off! That ship goes down today!" Athrun announced, heaving a sigh of relief. While he wasn't necessarily worried, he was still a bit uneasy. If something had gone wrong—even if he was sure it wouldn't—not only would neither Yzak nor Dearka let him live it down, but Commander Le Creuset would have a few things to say as well.
And those wouldn't have been comforting either.
The Aegis launched first, followed immediately by the remaining four suits. They had discussed a plan of attack, but it didn't involve more than take out the Strike first, and then go for the remaining pests and the Archangel. It was a simple plan, but given their past battles, it had to work. The real pain in the ass was the Strike and as soon as that was destroyed, the others should be pretty easy to pick off.
Well, ideally.
They had barely gotten into the air and had view of the Archangel when the ship let loose a smoke screen, covering the ship and the Strike upon the deck in a matter of seconds. The redhead cursed when she saw the display while her teammates did the same. "A smoke screen?" Dearka muttered, shaking his head.
"They're getting cute with us," Yzak commented a second later. The others could only agree. While it may have seemed like a good tactic from the Earth Forces point of view, it just looked cowardly from ZAFT's side. Given the victory column, the Archangel shouldn't have had to worry about such tactics, seeing as they had been winning most of their battles. If anything, the redcoats should've been given a handicap. Not like they would have taken it in the first place, but common courtesy should have kicked in by that point.
The enemy ship launched two Skygraspers soon after, their movement showing up on the sensors. "I thought there was only one of those things. Now there's two of them?" Yzak said, but no one had a good come back. Hell, they didn't even have time to speak. The second the planes launched, a large plasma blast shot through the fog and nearly hit the clumped ZAFT soldiers.
"Everyone scatter!" Athrun shouted once the shot dissipated, knowing they would be at a great disadvantage if they remained so tightly together. Given their state as friends, the closeness was a bit unusual, especially with the Duel hovering next to the Aegis. Battles were amazing on all spectrums apparently.
Yzak and Dearka hooked off to the left, hoping to have a shot at the ship from that angle. Athrun and Nicol did the same to the right while Eclipse ascended, figuring she would get the small flies buzzing about the air. As she anticipated, the Strike attacked the Duel and Buster first and when one of the Skygraspers went to help, she cut it off with a downwards chop from the blade mounted to her left arm. The plane swerved at the last second and soared upward, narrowly missing the second attack from her right arm when she pulled it across her body. "Not bad for an insect," she remarked, folding the blades back under her arms. It looked as if she had to use other methods to take that bug down. Eclipse figured the maneuver had more to do with luck than actual skill, but she was willing to give the pilot a break. Besides, underestimating her enemy would put her at a huge disadvantage.
The plane swung back around and fired a few rounds of bullets. The attack merely glanced off her left buckler, the bullets and their shells ricocheting down into the water to land harmlessly on the ocean floor. It was more of a nuisance than anything and when the Skygrasper flew past, she swung the Stealth around to issue her own spew of gunfire. The bullets spat out of the Stealth's mouth with an embarrassing display of fervor. Eclipse could just hear the mechanics words echoing through her head and hated herself for being so susceptible to such mockery. The attack clipped the plane's outer armor near the tail, but—like the Stealth—the bullets did no major damage. Smirking, the redhead just shook her head. What good was excellent aim if the weaponry wasn't powerful enough to harm the enemy?
The Skygrasper flew off then, leaving the Stealth and the buzzing of her rear sensors behind. The Archangel had appeared through the smoke screen and started its attack, firing its rear missiles at the seemingly defenseless redhead. Cursing, Eclipse cut her boosters and fell below the attack, reaching behind her back to grab the beam rifle and shoot down as many of the pesky missiles as she could. She managed to get four of the eight fired before the Skygrasper swung in low for another attack. Aiming its beam cannon, the plane calculated her descent and shot, hoping to destroy the Stealth before it even hit the water.
"You're all just too damn optimistic," Eclipse muttered and ignited her boosters, stopping her machine just above the beam. It scrapped across two of her HiMat feathers, but—for the most part—didn't harm her suit.
At least the beam didn't.
The missiles were still a major problem and even though Eclipse avoided one potentially fatal attack, it was going to be tough to evade two. She didn't have Phase Shift like her teammates did and a couple of well-placed explosions from those things would take her out of the battle for sure. Perhaps even for good. Cursing, she pulled hard on the controls and pressed the petal to the ground, flying the Stealth a little bit upwards and to the right. Two missiles went between the suit's legs, landing harmlessly in the water while the other two went out wide. She had been lucky that time and almost sighed until she felt a large shadow cross over her. Looking up, she stared at the underside of the Archangel and the Valiant gun aimed directly at her.
Eclipse's instincts took over at that point. Bringing up her left hand, she fired the cannon in her left palm, watching as the thread of electricity shot out and wrapped around the barrel of the gun. She could just imagine the words to fire leaving the captain's mouth, and watching the end of that gun glow yellow, the redhead felt a sweat drop trickle down her cheekbone.
The electric shock damaged the Valiant, but not before it fired off a partial barrage. Pulling hard on the controls once more, Eclipse tried to turn the Stealth away, but the shots had been focused and penetrated the elbow joint of her left arm. The gun exploded within the next second, the force of the blast sending the redhead spiraling down into the water.
The impact jostled her in the cockpit, making her, for the first time, happy the mechanics decided to give her a bit more personal space than the typical mobile suit. She definitely had a headache when everything calmed down, but that was more from the whiplash than from any kind of concussion. Her right forearm had snagged on something—but what she had no idea—creating a nice gash from the elbow down to the wrist. It wasn't anything serious, and was just going to be more annoying than life threatening. That was close.
The buzzers blared inside the cockpit and from the earpiece in her ear, reminding Eclipse of the current situation. If she didn't get to the surface soon, things were going to get rather ugly. The first thing she checked was her battery and staring at the screen in front of her, she felt her face go pale. Her battery was drained and—as she found out a second later—thanks to an accurate piece of shrapnel, there was no way she could initiate HFC-EPR. The piece of metal had cut deep into her own suit, severing the connection to the fuel cells and if it wasn't for the sudden drop into the water, her personal body parts would've been floating among the debris as well. The water coming in from her damaged arm and the hole made by the stray shrapnel flooded her suit enough to squelch any potential fire hazards.
Now that was lucky.
"Coffee Addict, status," she said into her head piece, bringing up an assortment of screens as the Stealth finally hitting an outcrop before the pressure could crush her suit. "Stealth needs pickup," she called over her radio, trying to keep the panic out of her voice. The Stealth was still flooding and she could only hope the carrier submarine was nearby.
"Power at 0%, left arm immobile, propulsion limited," Addict reported into her ear.
In other words, I'm fucked, Eclipse thought gravely, switching a few buttons on her console to grab someone's attention. After everything that had happened, she couldn't believe she was losing again. She had vowed to get revenge a many number of times, but each battle she participated in, she lost. How was that possible? She was revered as some monster and yet she hadn't won a fight yet against this damn ship commanded by Naturals. Cursing, she could hear the Berserker laughing in the back of her mind. Yes, perhaps if she had given into her other half on a regular basis, she would be winning more, but was that really something she wanted to do? Namarra had called it a drug, but if it helped, wouldn't it be worth the addiction?
"Aegis, do you copy." Nothing. "Athrun, can you hear me?" Still nothing. Damn it. Fiddling with the controls once more, she figured she should be able to move the limbs at least; try for some kind of swim technique in order to reach the surface. The legs kicked a few times, but stopped soon after with a sickening cry.
"Mobility zero," the Stealth stated in her ear.
"The shrapnel must've moved and cut another line. Damnit! Athrun, open your goddamn ears and answer me!" It was all so ridiculous. If he didn't reply, it was either because he was fighting, or losing. Desperately, she tried the others, but it was the same outcome. What the hell is going on up there?
As if in answer, Eclipse saw another mobile suit hit the surface. At first, it was hard to make out the features, but when the current turned it, she nearly laughed out of pure joy. "Blitz, this is Stealth. Do you copy?" There was no immediate response, and when the current spun the machine again, she saw the severed right arm and cursed. Him too? "Nicol, are you okay? Nicol, answer me!"
"Eclipse, I'm fine. What's your status? I don't have a very good visual at the moment."
The redhead gave a wry laugh. "I'm stranded on an outcrop literally at your two o'clock. Mind lending me a hand?" She gave another laugh when the Blitz looked in her direction. She must have looked pitiful and the grin on his face probably held more surprise and grief than actual happiness, but it was all way too damn ironic to not seem funny.
"Give me a sec." Using his good arm, he fired one of his darts, having the metallic chord wrap around the suit's waste. "Let me find some land then I'll reel you in."
"Roger that," Eclipse responded, jerking along with the Stealth as the Blitz propelled them towards the nearest batch of land. Getting out of the water first, he made sure everything was decently clear before pulling the Stealth up onto the shore.
"Now that—"
"—was embarrassing," Eclipse finished for him, enjoying that few seconds of bliss before the battle slapped them back to reality. The Duel and the Buster were no where in sight, but judging by the shots by the Archangel, they had to be somewhere in the water as well. Unlike Eclipse, however, they could still move. "What'd I miss?"
"The Strike's kicking our ass and those damn planes are annoying mosquitoes but rather persistent," he explained. "Ugh, how can we keep losing to them? Are they that lucky or are we just that unlucky?"
"Your guess is as good as mine. Are you still able to fight?"
"I'm beat up, but the Phase Shift is getting low."
"I suggest finding the Aegis. No doubt he's in the same condition and I hate the thought of anyone left alone—" Eclipse stopped, seeing that same red suit land about a mile away. The Archangel attacked almost as soon as he hit the ground, apparently done with the Duel and the Buster. Athrun dodged the bullets, but when he pulled out his beam rifle, the Strike advanced and sliced it in half. It looked like a losing battle and with the state the Aegis was probably in, the redhead wasn't too optimistic about the outcome. Flicking his wrist, the commander ignited his beam saber and tried to overtake the enemy that way, but everything was in the Earth Forces' favor. The Strike merely evaded the attack and punched the Aegis away. It landed with a loud crunch on the ground, Phase Shift dissipating immediately. "Athrun! Nicol, we need to—" Stopping, she looked up to where the Blitz was, but saw… nothing.
Nicol was gone and time stopped; there was no other cliché way to put it.
He had disappeared and run to Athrun's suit before Eclipse could finish her statement. He did it on instinct, that she knew, but since when did instinct revolve around self-sacrifice? Wasn't the mind supposed to preserve the body?
Eclipse could feel the Berserker laughing that time, her laughter tickling her conscious as the blood drained from her cheeks. Nicol, stop, she mouthed, locking the words inside of her head instead of shouting them. But what good could it have done? Nicol was already a few steps away from the Strike and her machine was still halfway out of the water, sensors buzzing like a radio station moving in and out of clarity. The signals snickered and hissed at her in sporadic spurts, reminding her of her helplessness and weaknesses at the same time. If only I had—it's just like before.
"Athrun, get out!" Nicol yelled, disengaging the Mirage Colloid just as he neared the enemy machine. Eclipse heard the words pour from his mouth and tried to hoist her unit back on land before he made the first attack.
The Strike moved first.
The dodge was textbook. So pretty, she would have congratulated the pilot after the fight if he wouldn't have killed a comrade with that small movement. In fact, she was sure the Berserker was laughing at the display, finding the whole experience exhilarating. But Eclipse could never be so heartless, so she just stared, mouth agape and hands shaking on the controls.
The Strike ducked under Nicol's frontal attack, its mechanical legs groaning at the awkward angle. Bracing himself, the pilot instinctively pulled his Schwert Gewehr blade upwards and out to the side, making an angled cut from the Blitz's right hip into the cockpit.
Yes, the cockpit.
The Strike left the blade there as if to display his victory. It was such a merciless thing to do and watching the heat from the beam searing at the metal—melting it away from the skeleton of the machine—the redhead could only imagine the pilot's suffering. The blade eating away at his flesh all thanks to one moment of heroism. Only because he was a loyal friend.
Eclipse screamed.
"A-Athrun, r-run," Nicol barely managed, the Aegis pilot being the only one able to hear the words over the redhead's agonizing cry. He didn't dare believe what was happening. Could such an individual die? Could someone like Nicol deserve death? Catching his breath in his throat, he raised a hand up as if to snatch the musician from the cockpit himself. Nicol can't—
The Blitz exploded.
"Nicol!" he cried, but Eclipse's scream tore through the frequency louder, making Athrun throw off his helmet in a panic. There was more behind that scream than anger and he didn't feel as if he had the right to hear something so painful. In fact, the commander didn't even think there was any anger in that sound at all.
Agony; pure agony.
The Strike remained motionless on the ground, staring at the empty space where the Blitz once stood. Was he shocked? Or just mocking them with silent laughter? Whatever the cause for such hesitation, the battle was over and the Earth Alliance had gained the upper hand. But not for long, Athrun swore, debating whether or not to attack the stunned machine in front of him. His suit didn't have enough energy to do any major damage, but he was pissed enough to have his anger do more damage than any kind of weapon. Pulling on one lever, he felt his unit rise, but he hadn't gotten very far before the Archangel came into view. Cursing softly, he stopped. Dearka and Yzak had resurfaced from the water by that time, sending a barrage at the Strike no matter how close the Archangel was. They were just as pissed and could do a little more damage.
Futile.
The Archangel wasn't about to abandon its prized pilot, shooting an array of weaponry down at the ZAFT units. While the bullets could have damaged the suits, it didn't seem as if the Earth Alliance ship was trying to do such a thing, merely scare them into retreating. Unfortunately, it had worked. The Strike had already jumped out of harm's way and ignited its boosters, flying to the safety of the battleship's hangar. Athrun thought of trying to speak to Kira before he disappeared but stopped himself. What could he say? Thanks for killing a friend? He was beyond words, so the commander just let him go.
Another time they could talk.
Or just fight.
"We're retreating," Athrun ordered over the frequency after he had put his helmet back over his head. "Head back to the carrier. I'll grab the Stealth."
"Yes, sir," Dearka had responded, but Yzak remained silent. However, the Duel obeyed a second later, following the Buster away from the battle zone. Not even he was reckless enough to chase after the Archangel then. The team had no other choice than to regroup. No matter how frustrating that was.
The communication cut off, leaving Athrun alone in his cockpit once more. The scene played out in his mind on an endless loop and he ground his teeth together. He looked at the visual of the Stealth on his screen, still hearing nothing from its pilot. He remembered her scream though and he shivered. He couldn't blame her—hell, he felt like screaming himself—but they had to keep a level head. That was the best course of action.
Right?
"Stealth, status," he called over the line, taking a step in her direction. Glancing sideways at the Archangel, the pilot made sure it wasn't trying to capture either his suit or the Stealth. He doubted they would risk everything for the one chance to grab the enemy, but he had to make sure. After everything that had happened, there was no way in hell he was going to give anyone else up. "Eclipse, respond."
"Left arm missing." She began after another pause, "Power to main battery severed, back thrusters and legs unresponsive. Mobility zero." She sounded sassy—or even bitchy was a good description—and reluctant to answer. Her voice was a bit scratchy and the sound alone made Athrun curse.
"Roger that, Stealth. I'm coming to pick you up."
"Yes, sir."
Sir. Everyone was being so damned formal and he wanted to correct them, but he couldn't find the strength to. That's right, he was supposed to be the strong one.
Question was, could he be?
Eclipse waited in the hanger while the rest of her team switched outfits in the locker room. She decided to let them go first for no other reason than because she didn't want to change yet. Changing meant she really was helpless to do anything and it wasn't a feeling she wanted to experience just then. When in doubt, bury the conscience in work. "What d'ya think?"
"I think you need to stop being so reckless," the mechanic grumbled, eyeing the Stealth angrily. He looked to be a guy in his mid-thirties, but with his eyebrows furled, he seemed about fifty. Perhaps it wasn't something the redhead should bring up.
"There's no such thing as a non-reckless battle. Removing the shrapnel and fixing the battery connection should be basic enough—"
"If not time consuming."
"—but the left arm is what I'm worried about," Eclipse continued. "I could fight without it, if need be. Just have to stabilize it."
"We do have an extra arm we can put in its place, but given the situation, I'm thinking you're all gonna fly out here again soon. Looking at the Aegis, we might not be able to get both suits done in time."
"As soon as I get my orders, I'll come in and help—"
"No," the mechanic interrupted, pointing a firm finger at her. "Get cleaned up and rested first. What's the point of fixing a machine if the pilot is too exhausted to use it properly? You do your job and we'll do ours."
Eclipse was going to argue, but the man had walked away, leaving her behind to just let her anger boil. She had wanted to keep working in order to keep her mind off of Nicol's death, but now she had just been ordered to take a nap and dream about it.
Ridiculous.
Subconsciously, she had been staring at the Blitz's empty dock, and snapping to, she just cursed and turned towards the locker room. What good was resting going to do? She'd just end up lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling, and thinking. No, she wasn't going to give into her grief just yet. Time to get her orders.
"Why did he have to die like that? And why out here? Well?" Yzak's shouting startled Eclipse. For some reason, she thought no one would even bring up the subject, choosing to mourn in his own way. The team had never been so emotional with each other and Nicol was really the only one holding them all together. What was going to happen now that he was gone? Was someone supposed to fill in that spot?
Eclipse hesitated before grabbing the handle. After the outburst, she really didn't want to go in anymore. Was she scared? Perhaps, and even her anger wasn't doing anything. A part of her had hoped the Berserker would just take over and numb her to it all, but instead her mind could only replay his death mercilessly. Damn it all.
She almost left altogether, fleeing to her Stealth and the small comfort that mechanical voice gave, but a louder sound from inside gave her enough incentive to turn the handle. Athrun had Yzak pinned against the locker, hands gripping the collar of his suit. It looked like any other argument until Eclipse saw a glimpse of tears in his eyes—well, both of their eyes actually. Dearka stood opposite her, looking just as helpless as the redhead felt. It's all so ridiculous and yet—can—can I blame them?
"Why don't you say it, Yzak? It was my fault! He only died because he was trying to save me!" Athrun shouted, tightening his grip. His hands trembled with the effort, but judging by the look on the commander's face, it looked to be out of restraint. Athrun didn't want to hit his comrade, but things were moving so fast his psyche just couldn't handle it anymore. So, he broke.
Yzak said nothing, just grabbed the commander's hands and tried to dislodge them. The Duel pilot seemed to be his angry self, but slammed up against the lockers like he was, Yzak just looked defeated. Even his struggling held little strength, so did he want Athrun to hit him? Perhaps it would've made him feel a little better. Hell, it probably would've made both of them feel better.
"A-Athrun! You too Yzak," Dearka began, taking a step forward. "Fighting each other isn't gonna help us one bit. Remember the Strike is our real enemy!" That seemed to snap them out of it. Yzak shook his commander off and pushed him out of the way, stomping past his blonde comrade and out the door without even changing. "Y-Yzak!" Dearka shouted, running after him.
Eclipse and Athrun were left alone. The redhead hadn't even stepped fully into the locker room, standing in the doorway and debating whether or not to talk her commander. She could try and comfort him, but what good would that do? She wanted her Berserker to take all the pain, so it wasn't as if she was able to do any emotional consoling. Sighing, she gave in and stepped inside, shutting the door behind her.
Athrun heard her come in, but couldn't turn around to face her. After everything she had said only a few days earlier, how could he even think his words would have any volume; mean anything? Surprisingly, she hadn't snapped. He half expected her to be at his throat, shoving him against the locker—much like he had just done to Yzak—however, unlike the commander's little outburst, she would have probably done more to him than just scream in his face. But in that moment, Athrun realized, he wasn't scared of her. In fact, he probably would have retaliated, if only because he was just as upset. Anything she would have said would have set him off in an instant.
After all, Nicol died protecting him.
"What are you going to do?" Eclipse asked softly and took a step forward. It was a small gesture, but one that she saw had made Athrun tense. Was he expecting more than just talk? The commander still said nothing and she pressed again. "Ath—"
The redhead barely got his name out before he snapped to her side and pinned her against the same locker as he had Yzak. Pushing his forearm up under her chin and grabbing her lower arm with the other, he braced himself against the bench behind him. He couldn't underestimate her abilities, but looking into her eyes, he knew she wouldn't do anything to change her situation. Why? He wanted she scream then, but leaned forward instead, his face inches away from hers, and straddled her lower body, making her escape even more impossible.
"You want to say it, don't you?" he snapped, the words coming out in a breathless threat. "Why don't you? Bask in your little victory?"
Eclipse did nothing, matching his glare with a blank one of her own. The breath on her face was hot and moist, matching the eyes she was staring into, however—unlike that breath—they flickered with a deeper anger. She watched those green eyes carefully, seeing them break in and out of that lifeless expression she had seen on her own face countless times. Was he like her? Just not awakened yet?
"Well?" he pressed, tightening his grip on her pinned forearm, feeling the clamminess in his fingers and palms thanks to the open wound and tear in her pilot suit. Apparently, he wasn't as angry as she thought. No, he was more scared than anything and—most likely—feeling terribly guilty. But was guilt enough to make him snap? Anger was what always triggered her. Was it different for each person?
"Why won't you say anything?"
"What did you want me to say?"
"What you're supposed to say!"
"And what's that, huh? Where's my script, let me look it up."
"Stop being such an ass!" Athrun yelled, pressing his face near hers. Eclipse got a good look at his eyes then, still flickering back and forth between lifeless and warmth. However, there was still something different about them; a difference that actually made the redhead sad. While his eyes may have begun clouding over, his pupils remained, giving even the heartless look a sense of humanity.
Maybe he wasn't like her after all.
He stared at her a bit longer before Eclipse just sighed, placing the free hand on his shoulder and pushing him away. He resisted at first, but slowly he backed up. "And why would I take pleasure in this?" she asked, but he didn't respond. "You have to calm down commander and think of what we're going to do next. Do we pursue them right away? The Aegis was pretty damaged, but we can quicken the repairs if we just give the other suits more ammo. The Stealth's in an ugly position right now, but as soon as I'm patched up, I'll help quicken the repairs." Still, Athrun said nothing, plopping down on the nearest bench and staring at the clenched fists in his lap. At any other time, the redhead probably would have left him with his thoughts, but they were losing valuable time. He had to make a decision.
Smack.
Athrun shook off his surprise as his hand instantly went to the stinging skin on his face. A slap seemed liked cheating after everything that had happened, but when he looked up at Eclipse, he realized no foul play had taken place. A couple of tears welded up in the corners of her eyes, making him feel guilty for not registering that she had felt the same as him. As everyone else on their team.
"Do you want revenge or not?" she spat, her own eyes starting their flickering to her Berserker half. Not even Eclipse could hide her emotions for an extended period of time.
"Is that really the answer?"
"Do we have a choice?"
Did they have a choice? Her words had wounded a part of him, but replaying Nicol's death in his mind, he knew they had to retaliate. Kira had gone too far and it was his own fault Nicol had died. "Get cleaned up," he ordered, "and try to get as much rest as you can. We'll send out another attack as soon as the mobile suits are running and before our anger subsides."
"Roger that," Eclipse responded, and left the room, not bothering to change either. She would leave Athrun to his thoughts and let him grieve. No doubt he had more conflicting emotions than she did.
The Berserker just wanted the Strike destroyed.
"So, do you think she'll take the bait?" Phoebe asked, leaning her chin on the back of the chair as she sat in it backwards. She always felt it was more comfortable sitting that way, but found it hard convincing the others. Even though there was no back rest, she at least could fall asleep if need be.
FS didn't respond right away, watching his companion silently from his seat near the computer. They had gone over this scenario plenty of times before, but still she kept asking him to repeat himself. Frankly, it was getting annoying—and them being so suspicious wasn't exactly comforting—but he had to keep indulging her or he would lose his position.
"I'm with Phoebe on this one, I don't think she's gonna bite," Melanie added to her sister's right. She was lying comfortably on the floor, pulling on the shaggy carpet like some monkey would flees. Unfortunately, FS was used to those two always hanging out in his room, but—for once—he wished they'd let him do some work. As it stood, they had more "playtime" than actual work time. Depending on his mood, that could've been a good thing or a bad thing.
Right then, it was bad.
"Finding that other assassin wasn't easy, girls, and even if the info we sent isn't necessarily true, it's enough to get Eclipse sweating at least."
"And what's the point of that? Why do we care so much about her anyway?" Phoebe asked.
"To be honest, Gluttony was the only one to give a shit, but since he's stuck up in space for now, I'm hoping to get a little time with her myself. Either she comes to our side or she's dead. It's as simple as that."
"Wow," Melanie began, "why the change of heart?"
"I'm just exhausted," FS explained, rubbing his temples at the thought. "I'm not about to go out of my way to talk some sense into her if she doesn't want to do it. I'm neither persistent nor patient."
"But what about that other girl?" Melanie asked. "I have a feeling they'll come together."
"That's where you two come in. Leave Lexi to me, and you two do as you please. I really don't care about her."
The girls smiled at that and gave each other a high five, laughing afterwards like some children at recess. FS merely sighed, looking away from the immature display to stare at the black screen. If Eclipse came running after that message he sent, she had grown soft. Sure, her and Stray had some kind of connection that he never seemed to be in on, but she was leaving herself vulnerable if she wanted to play some wounded hero. Still, it was all the same to him. Those two Berserkers were the main obstacles in his way. He didn't like the prospect of challenging them, but now he really had no choice. I can't wait to see you again, FS thought, waving the girls out of his room. Let's see where this story of ours will take us, shall we?
A/N: Alright, that break was a bit longer than anticipated. Sorry about that. Two workshop classes are a pain in the ass. Ironically, I wrote most—if not all—of this over spring break. So, basically, if I had had the time before, this would've been out a long time ago. Gotta love school.
On to the chapter… Nicol no! *sobs* I was always heartbroken when I saw that part, but I almost cried when I had to do research for this chapter. Talk about putting myself in Eclipse's shoes. I mean, can you imagine her scream? Eclipse scream? She's done it out of pure frustration, but out of sadness/agony? *Shivers* This is probably one of her moments in pure emotion. Scary.
So, did I do it justice? I changed some things, I admit. Rather minor things to fit my narrative, but changes nonetheless. Worked? Yes or No? Let me know because this chapter made me a bit nervous…
And, y'know what? I'm getting sick of Eclipse having to lose all the time. ZAFT really get its ass handed to them in these beginning episodes. I never really understood how that was possible with four mobile weapons verses on ship, a plane, and one mobile suit, but it's slowly making more sense. The Archangel crew is rather good. Even the volunteers deserve a round of applause. Score one for the Naturals.
Anyway, Namarra will be back in the next chapter and an "epic" battle against the Lust girls will begin. This, my friends, will give an all new meaning to "bitch fight," and "battle royale." No one's really safe when Berserkers and drug addicts clash, not even teammates.
And, for the sake of the fans, there will be some Eclipse and Yzak cuteness-ish. ("-ish" because I don't do the cuteness stuff very well…)
Thanks again to all of you out there who give me the inspiration to keep writing. I'd be just some wannabe fan without your support. Special thanks to my Betas who are overly anal—for good reason—but have great suggestions overall. I do wonder, however, what would happen if Murdoch was drunk and put the wrong food coloring into the Archangel's weaponry. Pink Gottfried blasts anyone?
On that note, see you all next chapter!
Questions/Gripes:
Update (October 2020): For those of you reading this chapter now, you will have seen I have indeed written some bridging sections, so this question/gripe is now moot.
I realize I just skipped the whole conflict in Orb after Athrun stopped Eclipse from killing Kira, but I had to move on with the story. I think I had been dawdling around for long enough and need to get moving with the story line. Besides, it would've just been a bit of hand-to-hand fighting that would've caused a huge uproar given their proximity to Morgenroete, Cagalli may've recognized Eclipse, and it could've been a huge disaster. Basically, it was a road I didn't feel like strolling down, so sorry if it's a huge let down that nothing immediately happened. Eclipse stewing seems like it would've worked a bit more to me and the fact that Namarra suddenly sent that message and messed with her mind a bit more, only made it more fun.