AN: Music for this chapter (on repeat): Because You Loved Me by Celine Dion, and Push by Sarah McLachlan.
THIRTY-ONE
o
"I'll be ok Jack." She took a deep breath when she was finished coughing. "I'm sure it's just a cold."
"You never get sick; and coupled with last nights 'blight,' I think you should see a doctor. Especially since your lungs are still healing." He paused, still stroking her long hair down her back. "So, what's his number?"
"Fine. It's in my cell phone, on my desk in the library. But I have to take a shower before he gets here and change the sheets on the bed." Her 'froggy' voice, making her accent sound thicker as she spoke in English.
"Why?" Jack asked baffled, "You can't even open your eyes and you think you can take a shower and change the bed? I think that fevers affecting your genius."
"Jack, I am not going to let any doctor, especially Alexei who's like another father to me, inspect me smelling like sex in sheets that's we christened in our exploits." Talking made her break into another fit of coughing, her eyes peering at Jack, looking at him for the first time all morning, then flopped back down on the bed, exhausted.
Jack realized she was probably right but she was obviously too sick to move. "Irina, isn't this the man who told you, you were pregnant, and took care of your prenatal needs? He 'obviously' knows we aren't celibate so 'who the hell cares if he knows?' I doubt he will. He'll be more concerned with 'why' you're ill."
"I care." She 'frogged' out, opening her eyes and throwing back the sheet, trying but failing to sit upright.
Jack reached out his hand to help and then pulled her body up next to his, feeling her legs too wobbly to stand on her own. "God, you're stubborn!" He huffed, bending over and swooping her up into his arms to carry her to the bathroom. "It's definitely 'you' that Sydney gets it from."
*Because You Loved Me*
He set her down softly in front of him as he removed his own robe, carefully to keep her standing. She still couldn't keep her eyes open.
Jack maneuvered them into the shower and turned on the water, letting the steam rise and fill the glass enclosure.
"Now no taking advantage of me, Agent Bristow." She teased him, as her forehead rested against his chest, the water cascading down her back.
"You're practically dead in my arms, 'that' is the last thing I'm thinking about right now." He moved forward so that her head was completely under the spray, wetting all of her hair.
"No. I'm not dead." Irina coughed, "I've been dead and I think it's less painful then this." She started 'barking' again with such force her whole body shook in Jack's arms. Her comment and her present state worrying Jack beyond belief as he lathered up her hair in shampoo.
"Pain lets you know you're still alive right?" Jack whispered into her ear, rinsing the soap from her long tresses. The amount of pain Irina had been through in her life was unimaginable.
"I hate that saying." She turned her head, laying her cheek flat against his chest. "When you're in pain you wish for death and when you're dying you wish for pain to let you know you're still alive…but that brings you back to the first wish…it's a damn endless circle." She nuzzled her face into the crook of Jack's neck and closed her eyes, comforted by his hands massaging her head with conditioner.
Jack was busy pondering her thought and wondered how many times she'd thought about, been in situations where she was faced with those two things, to come up with her very accurate conclusion.
When he finished with her hair, he found her shower gel and squirted a healthy amount onto her purple mesh sponge. The bottle had read 'Rose hips' and he wondered briefly 'what the hell was a rose hip exactly?' The smell was heavenly and distinctly recognizable as Irina. Pulling her endless tresses off to one shoulder, he massaged her back with the foamy sponge, making circles up and down her spine, over her beautiful bum and down her legs… which was difficult, as she literally couldn't stand on her own. He backed her up, rinsing her off and then slowly turned her in his arms to wash her front. Up one arm and down the other, slow circles around each beautiful breast, across her ribs and down her taut abdomen. When he finished washing every last inch of skin on her body he turned off the water.
"What about you?" She asked sleepily against his throat as he guided them out of the glass doors.
"I'll finish later. Right now you are more important." He found a fluffy white towel hanging on the rack behind the door and began wiping the excess water of her body and hair. He quickly wiped the water off himself before wrapping Irina up in the towel and scooping her into his arms again.
Jack set her on the edge of the bed and went to find her a nightgown in her armoire. When he turned around, Irina had fallen over sideways, lying on the bed. He'd never seen her this sick with the exception of the immediate ramifications of her execution and he could hardly swallow his concern.
Gently her propped her upright again and released the towel, letting it drop as the put the gown over her head, moving her arms through the openings and pulling it down as far as he could with her still sitting. He scooped her up again and set her in one of the big chairs in front of the glass balcony doors while he went about, stripping and making the bed. Looking around the room for the articles of clothing that had been tossed in their love making and adding them to the pile of laundry. He stuffed them all into the hamper and turned to Irina.
"Where are the clean sheets?" He asked having never witnessed her making this bed as he pulled on pajama bottoms.
"Closet. Right side. Third drawer down." She answered barely above a whisper without opening her eyes.
Jack found them exactly where she said they'd be and quickly made the bed, even changing out comforters. When he picked Irina up again, he felt her hot lips against the soft skin of his neck.
"Thank you." She sighed, nuzzling into him as she carried her. "I need to check my levels." She added as he lay her in the bed again.
"I'll do it." Jack reached for her kit and pricked her finger. His eyes immediately going wide when he saw the number flashing back at him. "Irina, you're reading 256." He swallowed hard at how high that number was.
"I need insulin." She croaked out barely able to keep her eyes open.
"Where is it?" Jack asked trying not to panic realizing she was well-passed the danger-zone now reading that number and needed insulin immediately.
"Downstairs fridge."
"I'll get it and call Alexei." He leaned over quickly, kissing her hot forehead and checked Lena one last time before heading downstairs.
He found her cell phone on her desk and when he looked up, found Dmitri staring at him, with accusatory eyes.
"What are you doing?" He asked with his thick Russian accent.
"Irina's sick. I'm calling Alexei." Jack answered a little annoyed, still not knowing what the butlers' beef with him was.
"What do you mean she's sick? Irina is never sick." His face contorted with worry as he stepped closer to Jack.
"I know. That's why I'm calling the doctor." Jack punched a series of numbers into the phone. "She's burning up, has almost lost her voice and has the worst cough I've ever heard and her numbers for glucose are through the roof."
"When did she start to feel ill?" The man was in obvious worry.
"Last night, I guess. She woke up this way." Jack answered quickly as he heard Alexei answer on the other end. It was still early and his office hadn't opened yet so Jack called the private line listed in Irina's information. "Alexei…This is Jack Bristow, Irina's husband." Jack answered in fluid Russian.
"Oh yes, Jack, how are you?" Alexei was obviously surprised to hear from him.
Dmitri left the room and headed up the stairs to inspect Irina himself.
"I'm fine it's Irina…she's terribly sick. I've never seen her, this sick and I'm worried. She's burning up with a fever of 104.5, has the chills, a barking cough and she's losing her voice. Last night she blacked out when her blood sugar dropped to 8 and this morning its 256. I'm just terribly worried. Can you-"
He couldn't even finish before Alexei answered, "I'll be right there."
"Thank you." Jack sighed, hearing the same concern in the older man's voice. He hung up the phone, and went to the kitchen grabbed the insulin and a bottle for Lena, as Irina was way too sick to feed her.
Jack entered his bedroom to find the older man sitting on the bed beside Irina with a look of absolute worry across his face as he stroked her hair.
"How is she?" He whispered to Dmitri walking towards them.
"Sleeping." Dmitri answered quietly, feeling her forehead again and not about to move from her side. "She's burning up."
"I know." Jack knelt beside them filling a syringe with her insulin to the correct amount and then flipped back her blanket to inject her and thought better of just injecting her while she was asleep not wanting to scare her. "Irina," He gently shook her awake, "I have to inject you." He informed her when she barely opened her eyes. He saw he slight nod of confirmation and he slid the needle into her skin. Dmitri's' brows were deeply knit watching him and her 'barely there reaction.'
When he finished, Jack picked up Lena carried her over to the chair and sat with her in his arms as she began to whimper with hunger. She didn't want the bottle at all, but was finally too hungry to care and began sucking away as Jack swayed from side to side. "Alexei should be here any minute."
Jack's cell phone started to ring and he quickly got up to retrieve it from the dresser. It was Sydney. "Hello?" He answered softly.
"Dad? Why are you whispering?" She asked confused on the other end of the line.
"You're mother's sleeping." He moved into the hallway.
"She never sleeps this late…is something wrong?" Sydney's voice immediately flooded with concern knowing her mother would normally be awake now feeding her sister.
"She's not feeling well, Sydney."
"Mom's never sick." He heard her voice tense and crack. "What's wrong?"
"We don't know. She woke up this morning burning up with fever, her voice is almost gone and the most horrible cough I've ever heard." He answered honestly, trying to hold the phone to his shoulder and support Lena and her bottle.
"Well did you call the doctor?" He could hear her whimpering on the other end, scared as he was.
"Yes. He's on his way now."
"I told her she was crazy for going running the other morning! It was freezing outside and she was as cold as ice when she came back." Sydney thought back to waking-up to a frigid cheek against her own. "I told her that probably wasn't good for her to be doing while her lungs were still healing."
"She went running? In Moscow?" Jack's voice rose in tone with disbelief.
"Yeah. She didn't tell me, but I think she had a nightmare and needed to get out for a while…clear her head. But Dad, it was freezing outside. And we'd just come from Jakarta where it was blazing hot! That's can't be good for her." Sydney sighed flustered she wasn't there to help. "I'm getting on the next plane to St. Petersburg."
"Sydney no. Let's just wait to see what the doctor says first, all right? She would be more upset to find out you left Paris early to watch her sleep. You're coming tomorrow, that's soon enough, ok? I promise I'll call as soon as we know what's wrong." Jack shifted the baby making his way down the stairs as the doorbell rang. "He's here now. I have to go, Sweetheart."
"Call me as soon as he's gone."
"Promise. Ok. Goodbye."
"Bye Dad."
"Alexei," Jack opened the door and was greeted with a blast of freezing air that made his hair stand on end. "Thank you for coming so quickly." Jack helped the man out of his coat, still juggling the baby and bottle.
"Jack, good to see you but not great circumstance." Alexei reached his hand out to shake Jack's with a small smile. His eyes lighting up his smile when he saw the small bundle wrapped in pink in Jack's arms. "And this must be the beautiful 'Grand Duchess Lena!'" He smoothed his palm over the baby's soft hair, staring at her in wonder. "She's so beautiful Jack. Congratulations." He smiled warmly, "Looks just like Irina when she was this size, unbelievable." He marveled shaking his head. "I'll have to hold her and welcome her properly after I look at her mother." He picked up his black bag and followed Jack up the staircase. "What else can you tell me?"
"Our daughter Sydney just informed me that Irina went running in Moscow a couple of days ago when it was freezing outside. Just after we'd come from the heat of Indonesia. I don't know if that has something to do with it or not." Jack relayed everything he knew. "And then last night, she blacked out. Scared me to death. She had a blue ring around her mouth and her skin was clammy. She drank a glass of orange juice and she seemed better."
"Jack, I've heard rumors about her being executed by the CIA, is that true? I need to know. I haven't had a chance to speak with Irina since her return to Russia." Alexei asked when they stepped inside the room; Dmitri immediately glared at Jack, having heard the entire question.
"Yes," Jack swallowed hard under the scrutiny. "She was 'legally' dead for over 35 minutes from Lethal Injection...Potassium Chloride. It took some extreme measures but they managed to bring her back. That's why she has to take insulin." He felt his mouth going dry, looking at Irina and remembering her body bouncing off the table as they shocked her back to life. "Her pancreas was too damaged from the potassium. She's essentially a Diabetic now. She doesn't produce any insulin. Her lungs took a pretty big hit, too…she was hemorrhaging massively in them. Her doctor in the States said they were healing extremely well, but with her jumping climates and running in this cold on top of her previous wound…Her kidneys, heart, liver…pretty much everything sustained some type of damage... but she's been really healthy up until last night…this morning really." Jack took a seat on the opposite side of the bed, feeling Dmitri' s eyes boring into him from across the room.
Alexei sat softly by Irina and Jack studied his face as the doctor examined Irina, his moving of her arms and touching her face not even stirring her from her slumber. "Irina." He called out to her softly, "Irina, my dear, please wake up." He brushed the back of his old soft hands against her cheek, her skin sizzling to the touch.
"She can't seem to keep her eyes open." Jack added softly as Alexei's eyebrows furrowed.
"That's from the fever and high glucose levels." He responded, calling out to Irina again. "Irina." He called louder, gently shaking her.
Her eyes fluttered open and she smiled softly seeing Alexei's face over hers. "Hello Alexei."
She croaked out and both older men were alarmed having never heard her like this.
"You're very sick, Irina." Alexei, got his light out of his bag. "What on Earth have you been doing?"
He asked and Jack flushed red. "I heard you've had quite the time these last few months. That once again you crept past deaths' door." He shook his head in disappointment out of worry. "And you had your beautiful baby." He finally smiled down at her getting a smile out of Irina as well. "She's absolutely perfect."
Alexei smiled over at Jack as he patted the baby's back, looking for a burp.
"I'm going to flash a light in your eyes. It's bright, and I'm sorry…but I have to. Ok?" He cupped her cheek, feeling her nod slightly and held open her eyes, instructing her to follow the light where he moved it. He took her blood pressure and listened to her heart and lungs, which made him grimace. "Irina, you are not 'Wonder Woman' no matter how incredible you are…you cannot speed up your healing process. Jack told me that you went running in Moscow a few days ago in the cold. Is that true?"
She nodded, 'yes' wondering how Jack knew that. 'Sydney must have ratted her out, she guessed.' "I've always gone running in the cold and its never bothered me before." She tried defending herself.
"Yes! But that was before you were shot in the lung and had it collapse! Before you had open-heart surgery! Before you survived lethal injection! Before you had massive hemorrhaging in them!" His tone was growing louder and Irina was a little stunned, having never heard him quit so boisterous. Nor had she known that he knew about the Execution. "You have fluid in your lungs right now…pleurisy and its very serious. Your heart has a murmur from the stress its under and I'm very concerned that you don't realize how serious this can be… You must slow down!" He exaggerated every word of his last command, taking hold of her hands and giving them a good squeeze. "Running outside in the winter in Russia, is no longer an option. Your lung tissue is much too fragile. Understood?!" He waited for her to respond, adding after her nod, "Now you should be in the hospital…but knowing you how I do, that's not an option. So, here's the deal. You must rest as much as possible and I don't want you leaving this bed unless absolutely necessary, understood?" He again waited for her confirmation.
"Now, I am going to put you on some heavy-duty antibiotics for the next few days that should knock this out of your system. But, you will not be able to breastfeed your baby until the day after your medication is stopped."
Irina's face fell immediately, not liking that one bit.
"Just keep pumping and when you're better, she can nurse again. Ok? Don't look so sad. It's only a few days." He laughed softly.
"Am I contagious?" She rasped out, concerned for the baby and Jack.
"No. Your infection is stemming from your injuries. I imagine that when you went running in the cold, you caused your lungs to hemorrhage again. It just took a couple of days for the infection to settle in and the fluid to build up." He packed up his bag and left a bottle of antibiotics on the nightstand.
"And the heart murmur?" Jack asked concerned about that as well.
"Should go away within a day or so when her fever goes down and her lungs aren't working so hard."
He smiled, kissing Irina's forehead and cheek before getting up from the bed. "Now, I want you to take two of these now, and two Tylenol for your fever. Then I want you to go back to sleep immediately, no arguments. And Jack," His eyes flashed to the worried man beside him, "Will need to check your levels at least once an hour for the next 12 hours to make sure they're going down and staying that way. Jack nodded he would.
"And I'll get the water." Dmitri brushed past the end of the bed on a mission to take care of his dear Empress
"Your husband loves you very much." Alexei smiled, seeing the concern still all over Jack's face as he snuggled Lena into his neck. "He's very worried about you…So please be a good patient and listen to him alright?"
Irina smiled, nodding yes against her pillow.
"Now, I must hold that enchanting baby." He smiled getting up to take the baby from Jack. His old wrinkly hands held her like a pro and his face was sheer delight when Lena yawned widely as he held her in his hands. "Oh, Irina…she is so beautiful. Just like her mother and grandmother before her." He cooed as Lena threw her tiny fist into the air stretching.
"Thank you." Irina croaked again in her frog voice.
Dmitri returned with the water and helped Irina take her prescribed medicine, making sure she was comfortable when she lay back down.
"I will be back in three days to check on you." Alexei smiled, dropping another kiss to Irina's head. "Sleep well, My Child." He added softly.
Jack walked him out as Dmitri went to the kitchen.
"Once Irina's levels come down, you must make sure she keeps eating and especially drinking. Even if she doesn't feel well enough to now." Alexei looked sternly at Jack, passing the now sleeping baby back to him. "If she doesn't get enough calories, her body will start burning her fat for energy instead, her levels will rise again and she will go into Ketoacidosis and a Diabetic coma. Do you understand, it's very important?"
"Yes." Jack shook his head, fully alert to how serious it could be.
"Lot's of liquids if she can't eat solids for a few days. Stay on top of her insulin levels even if she's sleeping." Alexei added putting on his heavy coat as Jack handed him his bag.
"What about that blue ring around her mouth?" Jack shifted nervously.
"Lack of oxygen. I didn't see it just now when I examined her but if you see it again, call me immediately."
"Ok. And Thank You Alexei." Jack thanked him profusely, feeling a little better now.
"She will be 'ok' Jack." The old man smiled seeing the distress still written across his features. "If there is one thing I know about Irina, is she's a fighter. She's stubborn." He laughed, "And that's what gets her through. She will be just fine, if, she takes care of herself. Which she usually does, despite everything else. Da svidanya." He smiled, "If you need anything don't hesitate to call."
"Thank you, Alexei." Jack smiled as the older man disappeared into the blinding white snow. He called Sydney immediately and filled her in on what was happening with Irina, rest assured she was going to be 'ok,' Jack convinced Sydney to stay.
When the phone call was over, Jack went in search of Dmitri. He had to find out why the older man was so upset with him, though Jack had a pretty good idea after watching his reaction to hearing the details of damage Irina incurred because of the lethal injection. He found him in the kitchen making homemade chicken broth and preparing tea for Irina.
"Dmitri," Jack walked up to opposite side of the 'L' shaped counter. "You obviously have something you want to say to me, so please just say it."
Dmitri's anger was visibly seething below the surface as he stirred the broth. "You swore to me that I wouldn't need to protect her from you." He spoke as his jaw clenched. "And while she's in your care, your country, your CIA executes her five days after giving birth to your daughter in a prison cell! That's twice, she has narrowly survived a permanent death because of you, Jack. And now…she has permanent damage that if not taken care of properly could kill her."
"Dmitri," Jack sighed, knowing that everything the man had said was true, his feelings warranted, "You're right. I did swear that I would protect her and I failed. That is something that I will have to live with everyday for the rest of my life." He took a deep breath and forged on. "I also realized, that it is impossible…to be able to protect the ones you love at all times from outside factors; and that is why I am fearful for Irina, my daughters, just as you are. No one person can protect them from everything that could and can hurt them. We do the best that we can, and pray for the best. We deal with the fallout if necessary. That is what Irina and I are trying to do." He waited until the older man finally relaxed a little, meeting his eyes, "I would gladly lay down my life for Irina's at any moment if I have the choice. Please know that she…is the most important thing in my life outside of our children and I'll spend everyday of the rest of our lives 'trying' to keep them all safe."
Dmitri didn't answer verbally, only nodded his head slowly at acknowledging Jack's admission and accepting if for what it was.
"As a father, you must understand what its like to see your child in pain, sick, or hurting…You want to do anything and everything to keep them safe, healthy and happy…To me, Irina 'is' my child. I can't stand to see her in pain…But I also understand what you're saying. It is impossible to protect them from everything in the world." He paused finally looking up to meet Jack's eyes, "But I'm going to die trying."
Jack smiled, and nodded at the older man. Agreeing completely.
"I'll bring her broth and tea up when its finished." He added before setting back to work.
Jack smiled at the man and let him finish his task, taking Lena back upstairs to be with Irina.
*Push*
When he opened the door, she was sound asleep again. Her hand curled up in front of her face as she snuggled into the pillow. Jack kissed her forehead and felt relieved when he her temperature had already seemed to drop some. He carefully placed Lena into her bassinet and went to finish his shower.
Dmitri had brought up her broth and tea while he was in the shower and Jack quickly dressed.
He slowly stirred her awake with gentle kisses and whispers into her ear. "Irina, you have to wake up, My Love. I have to check your levels and give you another shot of insulin and you need to drink some broth. Alexei said you have to stay hydrated or your numbers will keep rising."
She nodded she understood, but remained where she was. He checked Irina's blood sugar and when he pricked her finger, her face only slightly reacted to the sting as she fell back asleep.
"Irina." He kissed her soundly on the lips, bringing her eyes open with a smile.
"Hi." She greeted him with her raspy voice.
"Hi, Sleepy Head. I need to give you this." He held up the syringe, "And you need drink some chicken broth or we'll have a repeat of last night." He reminded her realizing she wasn't fully awake or at least coherent enough to remember what he'd just said upon first waking her.
"Ok." She flipped the blanket back, "In the stomach. It's faster absorbing." She struggled to lift her nightgown and Jack had to help her.
Carefully, he slid the needle into the upper portion of her abdominals and then helped her get settled again, propping her up against the headboard and pillows.
"Thank you." She whispered as he tucked her hair behind her ear. Her movements had brought on another coughing fit and Jack rubbed her back, feeling the pain with her when he saw her wince and hold her clenched fist to her chest.
When she could breathe again, he helped her take a few sips of the broth and then the tea through a straw.
When she was finished he helped her slide back down into bed, sitting beside her for a moment to just look at her as he stroked her Chestnut waves over her shoulder. She found his hand and wrapped his fingers into hers.
Turning her head slowly to look at him she used her free hand to curl her pointer finger asking him to come closer…and closer and closer until his lips were on hers. Exactly what she wanted.
"I love you…so much." She smiled, brushing his face with her fingers before closing her eyes again.
"I love you." He kissed the corner of her mouth again with a took the tray down to the kitchen and realized scouring the freezer that they were going to need formula to help them get through the next few days and called Alexei to find out which kind would be best to make the transitions easiest.
With the information in hand, and Dmitri's word he wouldn't leave Irina or Lena's sides and check Irina's levels in his absence, Jack set out for the store. When he returned an hour later, he headed straight up to Irina's room and stopped dead in his tracks, face ashen when he saw the man standing over Irina watching her sleep and holding their baby in his arms.
Jack was afraid to move, the intruder hadn't seen him and he quickly stepped back into the hallway, plastering himself up against the wall in shock.
Thinking rapidly of what to do…finally taking a calming breath he peered around the edge of the door and gasped when he saw the man had sat on the edge of the bed and was now leaning over, kissing Irina as she slept.
Jack instantly flew into the door and the man's face flashed in surprise as he jolted off the bed and backed away slowly, holding Lena to his chest. Familiar, haunting eyes staring straight at Jack as he slowly walked toward the bed unable to breathe in the silent stand-off.
"Jack?" His deep voice finally whispered.
"You're alive." Jack answered in his own disbelief, taking in the disheveled appearance of the ghost before him; steely gray hair not that much different then his own and the scruffy beard covering his chin. His clothes like that of a peasant. He'd seen the hollow look in this man's eyes now, in Irina's after her time in solitary…after she'd been broken. "How…Irina told me you were dead?" Jack swallowed the lump in his throat, not wanting to believe she would lie to him. 'Mikhail was alive.'
"She doesn't know. She believes I am dead…everyone does." He answered softly in a thickly accented English, looking at Irina asleep in the bed. "I died twenty-three years ago…when I left my family…when I left her in that Godforsaken place." His eyes started fill to with unshed tears as he watched Irina sleep.
Jack saw the broken man before him begin to crumble with his reference of leaving Irina behind in Kashmir. It was then that Jack noticed the wooden cane leaning against the nightstand.
"Dmitri said she's very sick." He took a few steps towards Irina in the bed again and Jack noticed his rigid steps walking with a stiff leg.
"Yes." Jack's chest felt heavy and his mind was rapidly filling with confusion and panic as he watched Mikhail tenderly brush the hair off Irina's forehead with his fingers, a small smile gracing his strong features.
"She is still…so beautiful." He turned his smiled to Jack, "As is your new baby." Mikhail ran his weathered fingers down Lena's tiny arm causing her to pull her arm closer to her body in her sleep. "She has her baby." His eyes began filling again with unshed tears thinking about the horrors he witnessed the first day Irina was brought to the prison. When Cuvee had discovered she was pregnant with Jack's child and beat it out of her…and all the others.
Jack knew by the look on the man's face what he was thinking about, 'their lost baby...' And he remembered the footage that Marshall had frozen of Mikhail's reaction to what was happening to Irina.
Here was a man who'd witnessed her 'hell'…went through it with her, something that only 'they' shared, something that would bond them, forever.
Irina began stirring in her sleep and Jack moved immediately to her side as Mikhail backed into the dark corner at the end of the room.
The small sounds she was making and the way her face was moving let Jack know she must have been dreaming. He leaned closer to her ear and whispered softly, "Shhhh…" Running his hand over the back of her head, smoothing her hair and lulling her back to her deep sleep. He placed his cheek to her forehead and noticed she still felt quite warm. She needed to sleep.
Mikhail watched from the other side of the room at Jack's tender gestures and words, his obvious love for Irina and he smiled. He remembered their talks in prison, her worry that Jack would hate her forever when he learned of her betrayal. Believing everything they'd shared to be only a manipulation when in reality, she really had loved him.
Jack placed a kiss to her temple and pulled the blanket up around her shoulders. As he stood he paused briefly, looking at the man in the shadows holding his baby. He picked up the hand-carved wooden cane and walked slowly towards Mikhail.
Standing within a foot of the living ghost, he took his baby from the man's arms and gave him his cane with a nod. "Let's let her sleep." He motioned for Mikhail to follow him. "We need to talk."
The two men made their way out of Irina's room and quietly shut the door behind them. Jack waited patiently as Mikhail maneuvered the long staircase with his stiff leg and cane and wondered what had happened, 'was it a result of the landmine?'
Jack guided them into the library and waited for Mikhail to take his seat before pressing the button on Irina's desk, ringing for Dmitri.
"Would you like some coffee? Tea?" Jack asked in a cracked voice, then looking at the thin man before him, "Something to eat?"
"Tea and a sandwich would be wonderful. Thank you." Mikhail shifted nervously on the end of the couch, feeling awkward and very nervous as Jack asked Dmitri to bring the items to them. He then noticed the photograph on the end table next to him, picking it up with a smile.
It was the one Katya had taken of a pregnant Irina and Sydney in the garden after their 'reunion' and before Sydney left for the States again. Irina looked so happy with her daughter's arms around her, bright smiles on both of their faces and Mikhail smiled, thinking of his own son.
"Sydney?" He showed the photo to Jack as he took a seat across from him, asking, though he already knew he was correct, that the beautiful young woman was Irina's long lost daughter.
"Yes." Jack answered with a nod, adjusting Lena so that she was sleeping against his chest.
"She's very beautiful. Just as Irina said." He smiled. "They look very happy."
"It was taken a few days after we finally learned the 'truth' about Irina. The night 'your son' sat where you are now…asking her about your life and death." He said flatly, trying not to get angry with the man before, knowing that as with Irina, nothing was always as it seems. There had to be a reason, just as with her, that this man would not find his family not let the ones who loved him know, that he was still alive.
"My son?"
Jack saw the brief flash of sadness cross the man's face as he set the photo down.
"Michael was here? You know Michael?" He asked quietly, looking at Jack.
"He works with me, with my daughter, at the CIA." Jack felt his mouth getting dry thinking about Vaughn's reaction when he learned his father was still alive. "He wanted to be like his father."
Mikhail didn't say anything, only looked away as if ashamed, "How is he? He must be a grown man now…I only remember the little boy with the baseball hat, and big smile." He smiled sadly thinking about all that he'd missed.
"He's fine." Jack was struggling to talk realizing the man hadn't had the obvious 'spies' that Irina had, to keep track of Sydney with photographs. He remembered Irina telling them how Vaughn's father had survived his days in Kashmir by imagining his son playing baseball. That was the memory, he still held onto.
"Vaughn is a good man. He's dating our daughter." He added with a small smile seeing a flicker of light flash in Mikhail's eyes with a smile.
"Irina's Sydney…and my Michael." He smiled at the thought and shook his head in disbelief.
"Where have you been all this time? Why haven't you told anyone…Irina, your family…that you're alive?" Jack finally braved the tough questions.
Mikhail sighed and sat back, "I was ashamed." He finally choked out, struggling with his own admission. "At first, for who I really was…for leaving my family. For not succeeding in getting back to them." He paused, staring at some blank spot on the floor, "And then for being a coward…for leaving Rina there…" His voice cracked and he paused again. "I'd wished I'd died for a long time after that. Wished that the landmine had killed me instead of just taking my leg." He lifted his pant leg and knocked on the prosthetic limb with his cane. "I couldn't go home. The KGB would have killed my family here in Russia if they found them hiding a fugitive; and how could I tell them of my escape…tell them I'd left Rina behind to be slowly tortured to death? What kind of man would that make me?" He shook his head in disgust. "I couldn't go back…So I went to Siberia. I cut myself off from everything, everyone. Living in solitude on a small farm. When the Soviet Union finally fell, many years had passed…There was no way I could go home to my Bella, my Michael." His eyes started tearing again and he blinked them back, refusing to cry. "I thought for certain, that Rina had died in Kashmir…It wasn't until recently, that I learned she hadn't." He reached inside his worn coat and brought out a rolled magazine, handing it to Jack. "I went into the city, to buy supplies to make it through the winter. I was at the market when I saw her beautiful face staring back me. Those same big brown eyes…She was alive." He had difficulty keeping himself together. "And she'd found her family."
Jack looked at the Russian magazine. A recent photo of Irina graced the cover with the headline title, 'Mother Russia' subtitled with the questions of 'Imperial Russia?' and 'Why Russians Want Their Tsar.' Her story of survival of imprisonment for treason was a featured article as well as the apparent lives of Jack, Sydney and Katya.
"I couldn't believe what I was seeing. She was healthy, and alive…Reading the articles about how she'd been revealed as Anastasia's daughter and that she'd actually taken back the government. 'Mother Russia." His eyebrows raised in disbelief, shaking his head as Jack continued to stare at the photo of his beautiful wife. "And I read the story, about her imprisonment and that she'd survived…was 'successfully re-educated' as the KGB used to say. I knew they must have broken her. That is how she was still alive. But after all this time, she'd found her family." He turned his eyes back to Jack. "She loved you so much, Jack. I knew, from the first moment I saw her in the US. Do you remember that night in Washington?"
"Yes." Jack nodded, "Irina told us, but yes, I remember."
"I was so worried for her, she was so young and I was terrified of what the KGB would do if they knew just how much in love she was with her 'mark." He answered honestly. "I knew she was headed for trouble." He paused again, wringing his hands. "The day they dragged her down that aisle…Helplessly watching what that monster did to her because of 'that love…" He couldn't continue thinking about it and had to look away from Jack, quickly wiping a fallen tear.
"Why now?" Jack asked softly. "After all this time?"
"Finding out Rina was alive… That she was 'brave' enough to take back her life, find her family. Knowing that you forgave her when you learned the truth…I had to come back." He sighed, "I have to face my past. I want to know my son. I miss my wife. No matter what they think of me now, they must know, how much l love them. I never wanted to leave. I just have to see them…I had to see Rina. She's the only reason I am still 'alive.'" He felt uncomfortable under Jack's scrutinizing gaze. Dmitri entered carrying a tray of tea and sandwiches, obvious to Jack that he too, was in shock over the man sitting on the couch.
"Thank you, Dmitri." Mikhail clasped the older man's hand with a warm smile.
"It is so good to see you again." Dmitri nodded still stunned. "Have you seen your mother? Your brother? Do they know you're alive?" He asked softly handing Mikhail a cup of tea.
"My mother is still alive?" Mikhail gasped in relief with bright eyes as Dmitri nodded she was. "No…no they don't know. I just…got on a train and found myself here first. I guess I had to see Rina first…She was the last of my family that I saw."
"When she knows…You're alive Mikhail," Dmitri looked from him to Jack, sharing a knowing look. "She will be so happy but I don't know if her heart can take that now."
Mikhail's eyes instantly flashed with concern and Jack felt the twinge of jealousy tug at his heart. "What happened to her heart?" He looked between Jack and Dmitri.
"She was shot a few months ago, in the chest. And just recently survived Execution. She has an infection right now." Jack answered calmly, seeing the man's eyebrows shoot up hearing such information.
"Shot? Executed?" Mikhail jolted to the front of the sofa where he sat, anger and panic below the surface.
"She was shot by Gerard Cuvee." Jack saw the instant hatred well in the Mikhail's eyes at the mentioning of the man's name and that he'd hurt Irina, again. "She was executed by the US government for her past crimes of espionage…one of the counts against her," His eyes narrowed trying to keep his anger at bay, "Was for murdering a CIA officer Bill Vaughn."
Jack heard the immediate intake of sharp breath come from Mikhail.
"Oh God..." He put his head in his hands. "How…how did she survive?" He finally looked up into Jack's dark eyes.
"My daughter and your son," He waited for the reaction from Mikhail he knew would be there, "Broke into the White House, and convinced the President that Irina never murdered any CIA agents…they were actually KGB. Told him that she was the real force behind the Russian Government and that he needed to speak with President Putin about her, before sentencing her to die for crimes she didn't commit." He paused briefly letting the information digest in Mikhail's mind, which he saw was racing. "They got to him, and Putin confirmed what they'd told him but not before she was successfully executed by Lethal Injection. They started working to revive her the moment the pardon came through. She was spared at the last second by Diplomatic Immunity for being the real Russian Ruler. Which is why everyone knows she's 'the Romanov' now. Outing her was the only way to save her."
"My son? He did that for Rina?" Mikhail was in absolute shock.
"He would do anything for my daughter. He loves her very much." Jack finally admitted out loud what he knew to be true. "Irina has saved Vaughn's life, and he has saved hers. They have formed a bond, not only because of our daughter Sydney but because of their connection to you." Jack met the man's eyes, trying to convey just how important his life has meant to those he left behind. "They've shared in their grief of losing you. Irina is his connection to you as he is for her."
Mikhail's tears spilled down his cheeks and he brushed them away with his rough hands hearing about how his best friend and son forged a bond over their 'love' for him.
"He will be here tomorrow." Jack offered after a moment of silence.
"Michael?" Mikhail's eyes snapped to Jack's.
"Yes. We are baptizing Lena tomorrow evening," Jack ran his thumb over Lena's cheek as he held her tiny head against his chest, "He is one of her Godfathers."
"My son, here tomorrow." Mikhail shook his head in disbelief.
"Will you stay? Face your son?" Jack asked stoically, seeing the hesitation in Mikhail's eyes.
"Yes." He answered slowly. "It is time."
"You can stay in one of the rooms upstairs." Jack stood, feeling a wide variety of mixed emotions about the man in front of him.
"Do you need anything?" He asked not seeing an overnight bag anywhere.
"Yes…actually. I have nothing. I just got on the train immediately after seeing Irina's face." Mikhail stood and Jack could see him wince as he straightened his leg. The urgency this man felt to see Irina; that he'd just get on a train and travel across Siberia…overwhelming Jack.
"I'll find you something of mine to wear until Dmitri can buy you some things. Is that ok?" Jack asked a little nervously, having never offered another man use of his clothes.
"Yes, I appreciate that. Thank You Jack." Mikhail offered his hand and Jack accepted. When they were walking out of the library Mikhail asked, "Jack, can I ask you something?"
"Yes." Jack instantly felt nervous.
"What was it like…for you to find out she was alive? To see her for the first time?" He wondered thinking about his own reunion with her and his family.
Jack was quiet a moment as they made their way up the stairs towards one of the vacant bedrooms.
"Disbelief… Relieved… Overjoyed… Betrayed… Angry… Hate…and when I first saw her, the same love I'd felt before I knew who she really was. It's been very hard…on all of us. Took us a long time to get where we are today. We still have issues…but we still, love each other and everything else falls behind that."
Mikhail nodded in understanding. "I know its not going to be easy…but I can't live without them anymore. If Rina has found a way…I will find a way, too."
Jack showed him to a room far down the hall, at the other end of the palace so he'd have privacy and unsure how they were going to handle the 'reunion' tomorrow.
"I'll bring you the clothes and you should find everything else you need in the bathroom."
Jack stood by the door and watched as Mikhail looked around.
"Thank you."
"I'll be back with some clothes in a few minutes. I'll just leave them on the bed if you're still in the shower."
"Ok." He offered a small smile. "And 'Thank You' again…for this hospitality."
Jack just nodded and slipped out the door. He went back to Irina's room and she was still fast asleep.
Lena was too and Jack laid her gently into her bassinet before rummaging around in the closet for some to the new clothes that Irina had bought for him to use while he was there.
He managed to find a few articles and while he was busy deciding which pair of pajama bottoms to give to the man, he heard Irina stirring.
"Jack…" Her raspy voice croaked out.
He quickly set the items on the dresser and went to her side.
"Hey Beautiful. How are you feeling?" He kissed her lightly with a smile, relieved to feel that her fever had gone down extensively with the new medication and Tylenol.