A New Dawn
Disclaimer: Don't own Twilight. No copyright infringement intended.
The rest is mine. I apologize in advance for any mistakes you might find...
Chapter Seven
If Forrest Gump taught me anything, he taught me that life's like a box of chocolates; you never know what you're gonna get.
Boy, was that saying oh so true. For instance, I never thought I'd end up back here in Forks. I didn't know I'd lose my mother and stepfather at the same time. I didn't know I'd have to be forced to see the kids who'd tortured me during nearly my entire high school career.
I didn't know I'd have to tutor Edward Cullen.
Thank you, Forrest.
Life was full of accidents and doing things you didn't like. It was just life, shitty life.
So, I tried my hardest to remember that as I walked into the cafeteria the next day after school to see Cullen waiting for me at my table.
EPOV:
She came into the cafeteria only minutes just after I'd arrived and had already taken a seat at the table she'd been sitting at yesterday. When her eyes landed on me they contained no surprise. She barely even showed any sign of acknowledging me at all at she took a seat in front of me.
"Hello," I said quietly as she pulled out what appeared to be an old, beat-up copy of Wuthering Heights. "I'm here strictly for tutoring. I never meant to make you feel like I have some sort of secret agenda," I rushed out before she could cut me off again.
She didn't look at me for a moment. Her eyes stayed glued to the table, her expression unreadable, and I wondered if she was contemplating getting up and leaving again until she finally spoke.
"So, you need help with an essay, right?" she asked, obviously in no mood for pleasantries. "Romeo and Juliet?"
Okay, she was speaking to me without any hostility in her voice. Progress, we're making progress. I was really curious as to what went on in that head of hers; she was an anomaly, a complete mystery to me.
"Yes," I replied nervously, taking out my English notebook.
"Let's get started then," she said.
I nodded, glancing again at the worn copy of Wuthering Heights that sat on the table.
"Still reading that old thing?" I asked curiously as I remembered her reading it quite often back then, too.
She looked confused for a moment before tracing my stare to the book sitting in front of her. Realization lit up her face and not the realization I was talking about the novel but the realization I was remembering such things as her during freshman year always cooped up in the library, a little bookworm.
I frowned, knowing what memory was probably flooding her mind. During junior year I'd seen her reading it as she walked down one of the halls of the science building, her nose in that very same book. Emmett and I had teased her, taking the book from her and tossing it back and forth over her head.
It was one of the more harmless things we'd done to her, of course.
Her expression was unreadable again though. How I wished I could get inside her head, hear what she was thinking. She was staring down at the book, eyes unblinking and glazed over until her eyes finally fluttered, bringing her back to reality.
Shit, I shouldn't have said anything. I didn't want to end up like Emmett.
I sighed internally. This tutoring wasn't a good idea. I'd realized that I had in fact initially set out with a personal agenda when I head Bella was coming back. I'd wanted to make things right...for me, fooling myself into thinking I was doing it for her and because of how I'd treated her, and I was...only partially.
Mostly, it was for me though.
I wanted a clear conscience for what I'd done for all the wrong reasons, and that simply wasn't right. I'd been prepared to hopefully tell her how sorry I was and how I really had changed, but I was not doing it for the right reasons like I should have been. More importantly, I had not shown her how I had changed.
It made me sick to my stomach, realizing that I'd probably never earn Bella Swan's forgiveness.
"I'll find someone else to help me with my essay," I said quietly, avoiding her eyes that I knew were on me.
She said nothing. I didn't know if that was good or bad, but I kept going.
"I didn't mean to—It was never my intention to…I mean, I hope you don't think…Well, I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm sorry," I said softly as I gathered my things.
She sighed tiredly, reaching up to stop my hands as they hurriedly stuffed my belongings back into my book bag.
My eyes shot to hers, my expression nothing short of shocked.
"I'll help you with your essay, okay?" she said, not looking directly at my face.
"You will?" I asked, surprised.
She sighed again. "Yeah."
"Not that I'm complained, but why?" I asked, confused and bewildered. "I mean, I'm glad, but are you—"
"Do you want my help or are you just gonna stand there asking questions all day?" she demanded irritably.
"Oh, um, yeah. I mean, no, I'm not going to stand there asking questions all day," I said awkwardly, sitting back down.
BPOV:
Don't ask me why I decided to help Cullen 'cause I don't have an answer for you. I guess I kind of…felt sorry for him. Yeah, I felt sorry for him.
Maybe it was because he was all nervous and scared I was gonna do to him what I'd done to Emmett. Maybe it was because he'd declared he had no personal agenda. Maybe it was because he was prepared to leave and not force me to tutor him. Maybe it was because he was so flustered and tongue tied, confused-sounding.
I don't know, but I felt sorry for the poor bastard for some reason, and I had no idea why, but he seemed so . . . harmless now. The Cullen I knew did not get nervous or fidgety. The Cullen I knew was a cocky son of a bitch who though he ruled the world, but that was not the Cullen that I'd met today.
He had no secret agenda that day. I knew this because after that moment of his decision to leave and my stopping him, we spoke of nothing except Shakespeare from that moment on.
I guess you could say we were taking a step foward, a very small step foward.
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