CHAPTER 8
Tears and Homes

"Yeah, my folks ditched me after the Decepticons started taking out their allies." Jeff leaned against the wall as he listened to the young man before him, who turned towards him slightly "There weren't any couples on base here at the time, so Rodimus took me on. He's one of the generals here, you'll meet him." He added, then turned toward Jeff "So who were you stuck with?" He asked.

Jeff was almost stunned at how calm Val? Reeker carried himself in regards to his situation. Jeff leaned against the wall near the arcade game that Bill was playing. "Sideswipe and Arcee. Sideswipe is Sunstreaker's twin." Jeff replied "We live at the base in New Chicago though, not here, which is why you haven't seen me around before." The boy chuckled at him "What?"

"It's just amazing that either one of the twins would even think of being a caretaker." Val said between his chuckles "Dude, how did you manage that? You do know that they can't stand having kids around." He then added, eyes still focused on his game "No offense meant at all, man. But seriously, just don't expect Sideswipe to ever care." He eyed him slightly "He and Sunstreaker babysat me once, it's a miracle they survived the day."

Jeff's eyes moved away from Val's, trying to ignore the less-than-comforting thought. He shrugged his shoulders a little bit, smiling to himself. "I don't know, Sideswipe genuinely seems to like me a lot." Jeff shrugged "I mean when we don't bicker, he's even helped me with homework a few times." The boy raised an eyebrow at him "Even if they're not my parents or anything, he and Arcee-" Jeff began.

"Are being nice, trust me." Jeff looked at the floor a bit "I'd feel sorry for the kid who was saddled with Sideswipe as a parent anyway. Considering the way Sunstreaker is, I can only imagine." He paused "And besides man, no offense. But you're already what? Sixteen?" Val questioned "Come on, man. They're young, why would they want a son that old?" He questioned.

Jeff almost wanted to correct Val, considering he hadn't ever really thought of them being his parents. But a part of him, however small, did notice those little moments where he felt the same way he did around his biological ones. Straightening himself a bit, Jeff eyed Val slightly, looking into the brunette boys dark green eyes. "You mean you don't think there's even a chance...?" Jeff questioned.

"Nope, but don't worry. If they like ye they might help find you a good home afterward."

Jeff couldn't help how his heart fell a bit into his stomach at that comment. Though he knew deep down that he was more than likely just telling it like it is, and not intending to hurt him in any way. "Yeah, I uh- I guess for a minute there I just..." Jeff paused a moment "Forgot my place in this whole situation." He then added "Look, I think I'm gonna call it a day." He added.

"But you've only played one game."

Jeff turned to Val with the hardest glare that he could give him. But slowly softening his look he took a couple of steps towards the arcade game. "Looking to get your ass kicked again, I guess?" Jeff replied, half-faking the tease, but mostly not having anything else to do "I guess I can play a couple of games before I head off to find Sides." He muttered.

A few games later, Jeff had lost at least five times, and gotten to frustrated to continue. He'd started to the door when a voice called after him. "Hey, new kid!" Jeff turned his head toward a young woman, who was jogging up to him "You don't know where you're going. Come on, I'll take you to where Sides probably is." She winked, grabbing his arm "I'm Melanie, by the way." She added hyperly.

"Jeff." Jeff replied.

He took in the girl, who wasn't who he'd call beautiful, but altogether was pretty. Between the blonde hair, and deep brown eyes, it was hard to call her anything less. "You know, you shouldn't listen to Val." Melanie spoke up, noting the down look on his face "He's just bitter that Rodimus doesn't want to adopt him." Jeff turned to Melanie "He told me the same thing when I came here." She added.

"So you're-?"

"Yep. The only officially adopted human Autobot around." Melanie replied, a smile crossing her face "My parents aren't anyone big named or anything, but they did adopt me. So I guess that makes it cool." She looked at Jeff silently "So, have you told them you're... You know, starting to think of them in that way?" She questioned.

Jeff stiffened up a bit at the comment, having to process what she meant for a moment. He stopped in his tracks, and stared away. "What makes you think I even am?" Jeff shrugged "They're cool, and nice. But they're just like every set of foster parents have been to me. More of... Caretakers, like how they put it." He shrugged "I'm not expecting to start loving them, and I sure as heck am not expecting it in return." He added.

"Doesn't mean you don't want it to."

Jeff grimaced a bit, hating how well this girl seemed to know how he felt. Of course, there was that tiny bit of his heart that did make him want this to be a home he could stay in. But regardless, he was old enough to know that there was far too little a chance of that happening the way things were going. "Nah, I'm just happy to have a place to crash for the next few months." Jeff frowned a bit "Val's right in one respect. No one wants me anymore, I'm too old and well..." He took a deep breath "I'm not exactly a sweet or loving type." He shrugged "I'm just... Used baggage." He added.

As Jeff walked on, and Melanie offered no reply, he couldn't help but feel an emptiness after saying those words.

...

Sideswipe was careful to drink as little high grade as possible that evening. Though in the days before, he would have easily gotten drunk to his liking, at the moment, with Jeff along for the ride he found the idea inappropriate. He returned to his quarters that night to silence, his optics scanning the room for signs of Jeff. It wasn't until the faintest sniffle from one corner could be heard that he realized where he was. "Jeff?" He rolled forward "Are you crying?" He questioned.

Jeff straightened a little, turning and slowly wiping the tears from his eyes with the sleeve of his jacket. He hadn't cried in a long time, but between his inability to get along with Sunstreaker, and his own words about himself, something had flipped a switch in his brain. "It's nothing." Jeff said quietly "I guess I just have had a rough day." He then added quietly "I'm sorry I was such a dick to your brother." He added.

Sideswipe paused a moment, crossing his arms and staring down at Jeff. "People screw with Sunny that way all the time Jeff." Sideswipe shook his head "Me included, you just... Need to learn to filter more of what you say." He slowly crouched to a seated position next to Jeff "Don't let it bother you so much, okay? Sunstreaker was actually pretty impressed by your guts." He then added "Told me so himself."

"Yeah, well... That's not all that's bothering me." Jeff admitted.

Jeff hugged his legs to his body gently, resting his chin on the space between his knees. Sideswipe stared down at the boy, moving a hand toward Jeff's shoulder in a comforting way. "Want to talk about it?" Jeff only shook his head in response "You know, it isn't healthy to cry and not... Talk about it." He stared the boy down a bit "Just-"

"I miss my mom..." Jeff muttered "I miss having a home."

Sideswipe was nearly taken aback by Jeff's response. He'd never heard the boy speak so softly or honestly before. He'd constantly stated he was better off alone, and a need to go back to the rubble he had called "home" for four years. Yet here he was, speaking the exact opposite feelings as before. "Jeff..." Sideswipe spoke quietly "You have a home." He added.

"For how long though, Sides?" Jeff eyes Sideswipe "You and Arcee only have me until you've got all this solved. And it could be solved tomorrow for all I know." He shook his head a bit "I know that you and Arcee care. Or at least are trying to, but, you have no idea what it's like to be alone like this Sides." He shook his head "You had Ironhide, and I've never had anything like that." He added.

"You have Arcee and I."

"But you're not my parents." Jeff replied, speaking flatly "When my dad died, my mom didn't even last a year, Sides. She just shoved me into the arms of a social worker." He felt tears fall down further "I was only... Five. Six maybe, how sad is it I can't even remember?" He added, half-chuckling "I haven't had a home in ten or eleven years. No matter how good you guys are, your home is never going to be mine." He stood up a bit "So don't lie to me, okay? I can't... I just can't keep lying like that."

Jeff walked away before Sideswipe even had a chance to speak. And for the first time, the mech was at a complete loss for words. Jeff had always been the complete opposite of this, he had even insisted he didn't "need" a home. For the first time, Sideswipe had to remind himself that they were dealing with a child here, a child who under that tough exterior and smart aleck personality held more pain than he liked to admit. Quietly turning to the window and staring out, he allowed his processor to wander.

And for the first time, Sideswipe genuinely felt a sheer amount of pity for Jeff. What was more, he nearly felt like taking the boy into his arms, and letting him cry it out. He knew Jeff would never let him, and he wasn't sure he would let himself. But deep inside, he could only wonder if deep down, somewhere, he was getting attached to his young boy who, by the day, seemed to be more and more like him.

...

A/N: Yay for finally getting to show some real human emotion from Jeff. :P Reviews make my day!