CHAPTER 10
Admittance

Jeff had never been so happy to see their own base as he was the day they finally returned home. He fell into the gentle mattress of his bed, and stifled a yawn. Sideswipe and Arcee had been in the other room, talking it out. Despite not knowing what they were saying, he could only guess it was about the prank, as Arcee was shouting loudly in their own language. Taking a deep breath, and resting his hands against his head, he closed his eyes and allowed himself to move into a dream and away from the shouting and anger coming from the other room.

He didn't really like his dreams, they were all more like nightmares. From the desperation that he saw on the streets of Chicago, to the horrors of a couple of the foster homes he'd been in. But that night, it seemed that his dreams were of neither of these, in this dream, he found himself in a white room, there were no doors, no windows, but a single man did occupy it, sitting on a chair in the middle, his blue eyes matching his own. Jeff took a minute to register who the man was, as it had been so many years, but after a few moments, a single word escaped his lips. "Dad?"

"You've grown up quite nicely." Martin Devlin spoke evenly, his eyes softening toward his son "I don't have long son. I'm simply here to pass on a message. But I have come to talk to you." By the words, Jeff could gather that he was being visited in his dream, though Martin looked by no means like a ghost.

"I wish you were here, Dad."

Jeff was silent at that, not knowing what else to say. In all his years since his father passed away, he had wondered what he would do if he could ever see Martin again. Many scenarios had run through his mind, but now that he stood there, before him, he could do nothing but stare. "I always am, you just never see me." Martin replied calmly, staring at his son slowly "You only do now because I know it was time we had a talk." Jeff was silent "You need to let me go, son." He added.

Jeff was silent, he wasn't entirely sure if this was his own conscious talking to him. Or if his father had honestly somehow found a way to speak to him when he felt he needed to. "I know you're pushing these people away because of me." Martin spoke as quietly as he could "They've been very good to you, Jeff. Better than anyone I've seen you pass into the hands of." He stood slowly.

"But they're not you, they're not mom." Jeff shook his head "I can't just start letting these people in. I don't want to be hurt." His face flushed "They don't want kids, and even if they did, I could never be what they want." He shook his head again "I'm too much trouble." He commented.

Martin took steps forward, and moved to his knees, placing a hand on his son's shoulder. Suddenly, Jeff felt five years old again, the warmth of his father's touch bringing in a flood of memories, all happier than he'd even remembered. "You're here for a reason, Jeff. What happened in the past, why you have to be here now." He stood slowly, his thoughts trailing "I can't reveal much, I don't know a lot. But I do know this wasn't an accident." He explained.

"Are you saying I'm supposed to be with them?" Jeff questioned, Martin only nodded slowly "Why, dad? What did you or mom do that-?"

"I can't tell you. It isn't my secret to give, and..." Martin was silent a moment, he shook his head "It would be interfering what is already set in motion." He shook his head "But trust me, son. By the time this is over it will all make sense." He stroked the bangs of Jeff's hair away from his face "For now, let these people into your heart, Jeff. You need them and they need you more than either of you realize." He added.

"Why do they need me?" Jeff questioned.

Martin only smiled, and Jeff knew again, he couldn't answer his question. Throwing his arms around Martin's body, he leaned in closely to him, resting his head against his chest. "Trust me Jeff, they do." Martin spoke quietly "And with or without them, I promise you son. By the time this is over, you will be loved." He told him.

"Who would love me but you? Mom abandoned me, they will too."

Martin smiled slightly, and kissed the top of his son's head for what he knew would be the last time. "Trust me, Jeffrey, you will be loved." Martin spoke to him, his soothing voice comforting Jeff "I promise."

And then, Jeff was back in his bedroom, seated up in bed, and staring out the window at the new day's sun. Left to contemplate what the dream had meant, what his father had meant. Yet oddly, the comfort it brought him was not as foreign as Jeff had expected. Could he really have been supposed to find Sideswipe and Arcee? Was this really meant to be his home?

"You will be loved."

It echoed on and on in his head, Martin had never specified by whom he'd be loved. But at the same time, he knew, he understood. Someone on this base, whomever they may have been, was supposed to meet him, and vice-versa. That much was obvious. But the cryptic nature could only leave Jeff to wonder who it was. Sideswipe and Arcee seemed to be the logical choice, they didn't want kids, they'd been more lonely as a couple than they admitted. Yet somehow, as hard as he fought it, he was drawn to them, compelled to their kindness and actions.

But for now, Jeff had no answers, for now, all he could do was mull over his own fate.

...

Arcee watched her charge from afar silently as he sat in the den, seemingly mulling over his thoughts as silently as possible. To say the least, in the several weeks since she'd been there, Sideswipe had seemingly made more of an impression than she had. Of course, she had been the first to bond with Jeff, but he had broken to Sideswipe, he had caused emotions in her mate that Arcee hadn't even thought existed. Yet for the moment, she still felt as though she and Jeff had never connected, or rather, bonded on an emotional level.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Jeff stared up at Arcee, shrugging his shoulders "You know, Sideswipe isn't the only one that's here for you, if you need to talk." Jeff continued to be silence "He told me about what you're going through... How you're really feeling." She was silent a moment, seating herself on a chair "I'm sorry you're going through that." She noted.

Jeff was still silent for several minutes, but slowly looked up at Arcee. "I was just being a big baby." Jeff muttered, his eyes scanning the table "I haven't been totally honest.. With any of you about why I'm really hostile... Beyond what I told Sides." he was quiet as he crossed his arms "My dad... He went MIA in Qatar." There was a silence for a moment "When the base was attacked, he got away. That's about all I know." He muttered "Beyond the fact that this stupid war took him away from me." He breathed.

"You're afraid of us." Arcee responded.

Jeff nodded his head slowly, his eyes staring up. "I guess I was afraid with the way I am... And all that's happened to me since you guys came to Earth." He shook his head "I was worried that you'd hurt me. That I was making a mistake by even thinking that I could live here." He rubbed his arm gingerly, looking uncertain "And then... It was like... I don't even know." He shook his head "I wasn't expecting this." He admitted.

"Expecting what?" Arcee questioned.

"To like you guys." Jeff admitted.

Arcee's optics widened in surprise as he spoke up. Her lips curved into a small smile as Jeff traced his fingers along the table in front of them. "I spent so much time hating all of you that I just never realized how good you all are." Jeff peered up at Arcee "You could have left me to die out there, or said "no" to taking me. But you didn't... You let me live here. Gave me a roof under my head." He looked away "Treated me better than I treated either of you." He added.

"Jeff..."

Arcee reached forward, a hand resting on his shoulder as the boy peered up slowly. "You can't help your nature, and we have never blamed you for that. We have had trouble adjusting to your attitude... But you are a good kid." Arcee explained, Jeff was silent at that "I can understand why you're scared, Jeff. Everyone can. But I want you to understand something." She began "We'll never hurt you." She added.

"I know." Jeff replied "At least, I do now."

Jeff stood up from the couch slowly, a ghost of a smile creeping along the sides of his lips. Arcee smiled back at him, shuttering her optics a moment, Jeff continued the smile. "Just I want you to promise me one thing." His gaze lingered down at the ground slightly "Please, don't abandon me. Everyone who I've ever cared about has and..." He inhaled, then exhaled in a slow motion "I'm not asking for a lifelong commitment, I just don't want to lose you guys too..." He slowly admitted "I like you too much." He added.

Arcee only smiled for a moment, but nodded her head a bit. "And we like you too much to ever abandon you, Jeff." Arcee spoke calmly "I promise."

Silently, Jeff went back over the words of his father in his mind, and smiled. Though he knew they would bother him, Jeff would make certain that he stuck around this place long enough to find out what they meant.

...

A/N: Blergh, that chapter was a toughie. I hope it came out well. :)