CHAPTER 15
No More Denial

Jeff was silent as he relaxed on his bed, mulling over the collective thoughts in his head. He wanted to sleep, but his mind was silently still moving off towards his mother. He knew she was alive, he hadn't given up that hope about that, but he did have to wonder. If he ever did find her, would she even want him back? She'd had so many chances to take him back over the years. When he'd been in an abusive home, when she missed her court dates to terminate her rights, otherwise known as the darkest day of his life, the list seemed to go on.

Pulling the blankets up to his chin, he silently wondered if perhaps his dad was right. Even if it had been a hallucination, he had tried to push him away from his mother, and towards the Autobots. What was it that his father had known that he didn't? That was probably what bothered him most, but even so, he knew that an answer would not come to him anytime soon. Taking a deep breath, he threw the blankets off of him, he knew, deep inside, that what he needed was a walk to clear his head.

It wasn't hard to get out of the apartment, he'd learned the code a while ago. But of course, the first thing he stepped out to was Arcee's form. He leapt practically out of his skin, leaning against the door frame. "Jeez, 'Cee." Jeff muttered "How long have you been there?" He asked.

Arcee smirked, putting her hands on the back of her helm slightly. "Heard you climbing out of bed the same time I was headed to work." Arcee replied "You need to go to sleep, a sparkling has no business being up at two in the morning." Jeff grunted in reply "You're thinking about your mother again, aren't you?" Jeff shot his head towards Arcee "Easy, Sideswipe told me about it." She added.

Jeff grimaced silently, looking at her with her arms crossed. "It's neither one of your business." Jeff said coldly, stepping past Arcee "My family is my own business, okay? Seriously, I wish everyone would just leave me alone about it." He huffed slightly "I can't believe Prowl would even tell Sideswipe about that, that was private, my business." He added.

"And you're our business, Jeff."

Jeff shook his head a bit at the giant robot, muttering something under his breath. "When did I become Prowl's business though?" Jeff replied.

"He's your mentor Jeff." Arcee shook her head "He seems to like you, and I thought you liked him quite a bit too."

Jeff was silent, he had to admit, he did like Prowl quite a bit. The mech was the only of the more adult mech's on the base who had made a real attempt to connect with him. Not to mention Prowl treated him like something he wasn't used to, like he wasn't just glass ready to shatter. He treated him like he was no more different than any other kid. "I do like Prowl." Jeff replied quietly "I like Prowl a lot. But I didn't want him to tell you guys about that." He added.

Arcee crouched to her knee, looking down at Jeff. "And where has facing this all alone gotten you?" Jeff felt taken aback by the snap to Arcee's voice "You act like you're alone around here, but look around you. You have three people that care about your well-being and are concerned." Jeff's eyes fell to the ground "Whether you like it or not, your mom abandoned you." She added "Maybe it's time-" She began.

"Yeah, and what happens if we're ALL wrong? What happens if she does come for me?" Jeff found himself shouting now, his anger rising "You and the rest of the Autobots talk like you know everything. You didn't know my mom, you didn't know my family!" He shook his head "You can play the part, sure. But at the end of the day? She's all I have." He added.

Jeff found himself storming for the door, barely able to control his anger. He couldn't even be sure why he was angry, they were trying to help, being nice. But for some reason, he felt only anger at the thought that Arcee would write off his mother like that. He could even hear her shout after him, but he didn't listen, he didn't care to listen, he simply walked on and on, until the silence of the base, and the shouts of pursuing Autobots were far behind him. He was done being a prisoner in their base, and even more tired of the feeling he was having.

By all means, Jeffrey Devlin could only see one viable end to this all, to run away, to not look back. And that was exactly what he was doing.

...

"I feel responsible for this." Prowl muttered.

"You should." Sideswipe sighed "But I do too. I knew I should have kept it to myself."

The two mech's had their floodlights on as they drove through the dark streets of New Chicago. They'd been searching for half an hour with no sign of Jeff, and the worry in their sparks seemed to get heavier as they went. "I hadn't thought how his new feelings towards us might be affecting his mind." Prowl observed "Logically, the thing for a child in his place to do is to run from change, or fear." He then added "Believe it or not, this is a good thing."

"Not so much if the Decepticons find him first." Sideswipe replied.

Inwardly, Prowl shuddered on his tires at the thought of an innocent child being in danger for his own mistake. Certainly, the Decepticons wouldn't strike in broad daylight, but at night like this, he hated to think it, but Sideswipe may have had a valid point. "There." Prowl pulled to the side as he saw the retreating form of Jeff near the sidewalk "Allow me to talk to him, I was the perpetrator here." He added.

Prowl transformed slowly, though Jeff had already seen him coming and picked up the pace. Just as he made a move to step forward, but it was Sideswipe who picked up his pace, and, unceremoniously lifted Jeff up by the back of his collar. "Put me down!" Jeff shouted "What the hell are you doing!?" He demanded.

"Taking you back home." Sideswipe snapped right back, anger rising "Primus almighty kid, do you realize how much you scared ALL of us?" He brought Jeff close to his optics, his optics crossing "You may think that you have the right to storm out with your little temper-tantrum fit. But you don't. Storm off, have your temper tantrum! But do it on base!" He then added "But if anything happened to you out here, can you imagine for five seconds what that would have done to Arcee, Prowl, or myself?" He added.

Jeff felt his retort caught in his throat as he stared between Sideswipe and Prowl. It could have easily been compared to the same look his parents had once had years ago, when at a department store, Jeff had hidden among the racks. Fear, anger, and most of all, worry was all mixed into their optics in a way the boy had never seen from them. "I-I'm sorry." Jeff finally found his voice "I just-"

"No, you're not making an excuse Jeffrey." Sideswipe snapped "You are going to get your sorry aft into Prowl's backseat. And we are going to talk this through back at base." He explained, his voice very serious "Because I am NOT going back to square one with you! I refuse to let you push us away because you're afraid." He set Jeff back onto the ground, the boy stared up at him "And if you ever pull a stunt like that again, I will CHAIN you to your bed at night if I have to." He added.

Jeff merely stood there, staring at the mech in complete and utter disbelief. Hugging himself slightly as both of them transformed down, he carefully stared at Sideswipe. "Why Prowl's backseat?" He asked.

"Nothing scarier than riding in the back of a police car."

Jeff was silent as he climbed into the back of Prowl's alternate form as instructed, the door closing beside him. He was admittedly a little shaken by the way Sideswipe had screamed, but oddly flattered. No one had ever cared when he'd run away in the past, they'd just called social services on him and got him booted. To have them freak out at the very thought of something happened to him was almost unheard of. "I suppose an apology won't help much." Prowl told him as he started down the road "Considering what your stress levels are." He added.

"It's not that... I just..." Jeff shook his head "No one's ever yelled at me for scaring them... Not since my parents." He shook his head slowly, looking up at the ceiling "I forgot how good it feels, and how... Bad it feels too." He played with his hands in his lap silently "Are you just as mad..?" He questioned.

Prowl was silent, but oddly, he was angry about the fact that Jeff had pulled the stunt. Not in a "breaking the rules" way either, but rather in how much it scared him, how much he had scared him. It was a new, and admittedly alien feeling to Prowl's spark, and he wasn't certain what his reply should be. "Just never do that to us again, Jeff." He finally replied "I never want to be out here looking for you again, understood?"

"Yes, sir."

Jeff leaned back, surprised at how much he'd meant those words. He could only silently wonder if perhaps, Optimus, and his "ghost dad" had been right. Perhaps there was something different about this base, about this group of people. As he leaned against the window, for the first time, he could no longer deny one thing: These people cared about him, whether he liked it or not.