I was just rereading my other chapters, and I just now realize how self-pitying I sound in my author's notes. I am so sorry! It really gets old; I'll start working on not being an idiot about that from now on out. In other news, I was also rereading my story as it is printed in my diary. When I looked at the first chapter, I started laughing because I had titled it "Lemons". I remember now that I had written it initially to be a little one-shot PWP. Hehehe… the lemon part of this fic is probably my least favourite part now- both to write and to read.

~Kachow~

One last meeting in the cave had been accepted, if only to figure out exactly what everyone wanted to do about the situation. They came without the book, food stash, and carefree anticipation. They merely ran without speaking to the cave and sat in their usual places. Neil led the meeting, focusing all his energies on glaring at them all in turn and beginning without preamble, "Well. Are you all set on giving up already?"

The boys glanced around uneasily at each other, still too shaken to form coherent positions. Cameron was exempt from this feeling as his parents had already given him a rather stilted lecture about homosexuals just a few years ago; he knew exactly what they would want him to do and was banking on the fact that his friends were all very moral at heart. Charlie admired all things different and couldn't bring himself to reject his favourite teacher, even if he had embarrassed Charlie in class. Cameron was first to speak out of the pack. "I don't get the point of this meeting. Merely being alone in this cave with you guys makes me feel fruity."

Neil quickly shot back, "And you didn't feel fruity before?"

"Of course I didn't know I felt fruity at the time. One of my weaknesses is that I am totally naïve to the world of gay men."

Charlie snorted derisively and said, "You're so defensive. Could it possibly be that you're confused about your own sexuality? Worried that you could change to fucking men just because you're stuck reading poetry in a small space with boys? Didn't know you were so horny."

Only Charlie's over-bright laughter followed this, which Todd took to be a very bad sign. He, himself didn't much care about Keating's sexual orientation but would be heartbroken if these meetings stopped. Now everyone was so serious (minus Nuwanda, of course)… so scary. It put Cameron in a terrible mood, and instead of shaking off the sharp jibe he blubbered heatedly, "I am not a sodomite. You know that. In fact, I could never be gay. It's a sin. And following the footsteps of a fag is the stupidest decision we could make."

Charlie attempted in vain to shoot daggers out of his eyes. The recipient held the gaze coolly. Meeks ventured carefully, "I don't know what to think. Cameron's right about Keating sinning, but I'm not sure what that means for us." Pitts nodded in agreement as he always tended to do whenever Meeks spoke.

Cameron sensed a pair of potential allies if he could play his cards right. Everyone had given up on Knox a while ago when he refused to participate in their conversations, instead choosing to focus on brooding and looking all-suffering. It was assumed that he'd side with whatever the majority agreed on. "Meeks, I know you're feeling weird and uncomfortable with all this. Stick with that gut feeling." He rapped on his chest twice in quick succession, continuing, "Are you willing to go to hell for the sake of reading poetry with boys? Read poetry on your own, if you must."

Rolling his eyes, Charlie argued, "You're not going to hell for reading poetry. If you're Christian and believe in all that shit, you'll go to hell for ramming you dick in another guy's asshole. Last time I checked, that wasn't a requirement for the Dead Poets Society."

Cameron shouted out in frustration, "It's not about what's required, everyone knows that that's not a rule. It's about what example we're following and what it means in the long run."

"What does it mean in the long run, oh master of all knowledge?"

"It means that we're all the more susceptible to Keating's own corrupted ways of the mind." There was a certain degree of pride in Cameron's voice as he voiced his thesis.

Meeks bit his lip. Pitts whined, "It feels funny, now. Being here. Dirty, maybe."

Todd spoke up, giving Charlie a chance to rest. "Sitting in a cave r-reading poetry is what we've done all y-year. Nothing's changed except our teacher told us he was a h-h-homosexual, not n-necessarily because he was in Dead Poets Society. I s-still like him, even if the r-rest of you are so willing to abandon our captain."

Frankly, it stunned them all to hear this show of speech-impeded bravery from Todd. Cameron wasn't about to give up so easily, though. "He's no captain of mine," he bit out.

Neil had been uncharacteristically quiet through all this, waiting to save his bit for last. The condescension in Cameron's voice forced him to speak out. "I don't understand how you can turn your back on our captain in his fullest glory. He has shared a personal aspect of his life which may get him fired if the right people get told. Yet he still chose to tell us. Why? There's a message he's trying to send, and I think I'm starting to figure it out." Deep breath. "Sucking the marrow out of life doesn't only mean to live each moment as if it were your last. It means not living your life as a lie if you've got the guts. Keating's got the guts. Do you? Do you have the guts to pursue Dead Poets Society, or are you going to live out a lie and pretend this never happened?"

Bitterly, Cameron mumbled, "Sucking the marrow out of life? He's just wanting to suck penis…"

All at once, everyone started raging at the twerp besides Todd, who merely glowed to himself. Everyone was united against Cameron; the Dead Poets Society was safe. It struck him as odd, though, that a seven minute conversation was enough to resolve the fate of a matter that had them all so riled up before. But that was the way of boys, so he let himself just float on the fact that he would continue being part of an exclusive club. He glanced around at all of them as they continued to peck away at the weaker and weaker red head; all of them could be counted on as friends.

~Kachow~

"I still say we should kick Cameron out. What an offensive little git," Neil complained bitterly to the bathroom door as he waited for the ever modest boy to change. All the DPS members were safely back in their respective rooms. After many threats to beat Cameron to a pulp, they had agreed to keep the meetings proceeding as usual. A grumpy Cameron had declared himself in, claiming that he needed to keep an eye on them.

Todd loudly answered from inside, "I don't think it really matters. He's afraid of what this all means, is all."

"I hate him," Neil snarled rather viciously.

"Don't."

"Why?"

Todd opened the door and walked out of the bathroom looking up to meet Neil's eyes fleetingly. "Hatred doesn't become you."

Neil stood stock still for a moment, examining what was happening to his body at the present time. Spike in heart rate, flushed cheeks, endorphins firing off in his head. Not being a total bonehead, he was forced to characterize these traits as signs of feeling attracted.

A frown jumbled Todd's features. "Weren't you wanting to get in?"

Neil realized that he had been standing in confusion for near a minute. "Yeah. Sorry." Hurriedly, he shut the door, running the shower as he squatted against the wall to wait for Todd to go back to sleep. Perhaps this was only an after effect of standing up for gay Keating. He had heatedly backed up homosexuals that day… it was only natural that he should feel this for a short-lived flash. There was that issue of actually liking the feeling, though; it took all he had not to grab the feeling and hold it to his heart. Instead he was forced to thrust it away from him and clutch his hands around his knees, pretending like his mind was a blank piece of paper. He finally turned the faucet off and clambered into bed with his back to a sweetly slumbering Todd Anderson.

~Kachow~

Questions: What's the first fanfiction you remember reading? Do you believe in love at first site? Who has been the most influential person in your life?

I'm really excited about these questions…I'm kind of a listener in real life, and I love hearing other people's stories. Um. But yeah, I wanted to reply to some of the kind reviews I got:

HeadinTheClouds13: When I first got your comment, I was so excited because I had known you from the comments you leave on other DPS stories and I've read a good chunk of your "How to Live Like A Dead Poet"… you've gained celebrity status from me. Thanks for the corrections in plot which I just randomly overlooked. I also will not fix them because I am lazy. (I like your cute moment an incredible amount.)

Wolfie: I did have a tough time starting these out and appreciate that you took the time to notice. As I stated above, I had originally meant it to be a PWP and all these chapters were just add-ons that came about, which is kind of why they seem so random. I will try to fix that, though, a little bit when I can. Latin? That's amazing!

Thanks to Fjffg, too. 3