Hello again, folks. It's been a while since I last updated. I was so excited to get to college because I heard you have tons of free time and I thought that I could post the rest of this story really fast instead of just meekly posting every few months… Not the case. Finals are coming up soon, so I'll probably be posting a ton more in order to avoid doing real work. Cheers! Also as a warning, this is the reason for the M rating. First try at smut, so, uh, don't blame me for all the cringe-worthy moments.

~Kachow~

Neil was having a tough time dealing with his attraction for Todd. Of course he was, you knew that. Nonetheless, the problems were all that existed in his young mind… Well, that and acting. He often combined the two, coaxing Todd into running lines with him. Bliss could be achieved in these few hours. Todd was a terrible actor with his problematic stammer throughout the majority (all) of the reading, but Neil would have it no other way. It had taken him a while to pluck up the courage to ask for Todd's help. He imagined it was awkward in the worst way for Todd to have to spend so much time with a boy he knew was attracted, but the he acted no differently than before.

Now that we mention it, Neil was impressed and shocked at how Todd was taking this. He would have bet all his money that Todd would have avoided him and become irreversibly weirded out, but the boy had no intelligible difference. Neil came to the conclusion that Todd still thought the burning in his heart was a passing fancy.

One day when they were idly going through lines, Neil decided that enough was enough. It was time they talked about it again. "Todd."

The boy in question stopped midline and worriedly asked, "Was it really that bad? Sorry. I'm trying hard, you know I am."

Neil shook his head. "It's not that."

"Oh. Then what is it?"

They were in the cave on separate rocks during the afternoon break. Neil reflected that the faint sunlight filtering through Todd's golden hair made him look angelic. So perfect. He shook his head roughly- even inside his own mind he was stalling and putting off this moment of reconfession, for lack of a better word. "You know what we discussed in study hall, like, a week and a half ago?"

Todd grimaced and crinkled his paper. "I remember."

"You're not taking it seriously enough," he proposed frankly. Immediately he regretted the words. They sounded so much less dramatic and respond-able out loud… What was Todd supposed to say to that?

Red blossomed everywhere. "I am."

"Then why are you so comfortable around me? Literally nothing has changed in you." He stopped for a moment, thought about what he said, and continued, "Not that I want anything to change. I like you the way you are. But it's strange, because I don't understand how you can go about life the way you always have when you know how I think about you."

"I can't help that you think I'm gay, Neil," he responded quietly.

Neil burst out, "No, it's nothing like that. I don't like you because I think you're gay, I'm attracted because you're so damn wonderful!"

Both boys went silent. Todd's eyes were bugging out of his head as he furiously worked to process what Neil was saying. Neil screwed his eyes shut tight as he internally kicked himself for being such a sop. This was meant to come out so much more suave, so much less like a middle school romance. When Neil finally opened his eyes, he snapped, "Aren't you going to say anything?"

"Are you serious?"

"You're acting like this is a surprise," Neil spat out rather sharply.

"Ummm, last time I checked, friends didn't just announce their secret crushes on other friends in a dark c-cave." Poor Todd's voice started to tremble again as his bashful side took over.

Neil was upset enough over how events were going that he didn't quite grasp what Todd said meant. In fact, this whole affair was moving too fast for him to properly explain things and it made every word out of his mouth rash and rushed. "Last time I checked, there was nothing secret about my 'crush'. You had already let me down in study hall."

Realization started to dawn on Todd. "No, Neil. In s-study hall I was just t-trying to tell you I wasn't gay. I d-didn't know your stares and p-possessiveness were because you had feelings for me. I thought it was because you were trying to w-watch out for me."

"Oh, hell. Todd, I didn't want you to find out like this."

They stared at each other for a moment, and then the hysterical laughter hit them.

A good ten minutes were spent this way, rolling on the floor clutching their stomachs. There's something perversely hilarious in knowing you've been acting overly macho or supremely unattracted for a week all in vain. It came to an end, and they were side-by-side, looking at each other loosely and getting the very last of the giggles out.

Todd was struck by the surrealness of the moment. Someone cared for him- in that way. He never thought it would happen. Why would he waste this opportunity, then? A body was a body, and Todd was starving for attention. So, bolstered by Neil's searching gaze, he reached over and brought that dark head in for a kiss.

~Kachow~

Neil's mind almost exploded. Almost. The soft lips he so adored pressed upon his own, moist and unsure. Todd's hands were keeping Neil's cheek from the floor and supporting his back. Neil was simply tasting and reveling in these pleasure he had nearly convinced himself he was never allowed to feel.

Suddenly he felt a hand leave his back to cup his half-hardened member. He broke the kiss and gasped, "Todd!"

Todd paid no heed, moving his hand in small circles. Neil's hips started to buck, and he knew he didn't want to come yet. He needed Todd to feel this first. He scooted away a bit, not knowing how else to get him to stop. Todd looked regretful. "I thought you liked it."

"You bet I do. But I can't let you make me come first. I started this; I get to make you come first. May I, um-"

For once, Neil seemed at a loss for words. Figuring that Todd would yell if he didn't like it, Neil moved over to the boy still laying on the floor and started working at the belt on his pants. He kept his eyes on what he was doing. He didn't want to see the disgust on Todd's face when he figured out that he wasn't going to give a simple hand job…

His mouth encompassed it, tongue swirling, cheeks taut. A low stream of whimpers were emitted from the golden boy, unintelligible to Neil. But they turned him on. It had to mean Todd was loving it. He got faster and faster as Todd's whimpers turned more ragged and erratic until they contrarily formed coherent words. "Don't stop, don't stop, don't stop, I'm so close."

Neil complied, but was so aroused himself that he started rubbing himself on Todd's leg through his clothes. Neil groaned as the new sensations hit him, which sent vibrations through his mouth. "Neil!" Both boys came at about the same time; Todd in Neil and Neil a moment later in his own pants. When Todd gathered his wits, his first words were, "Spit it out."

Neil swallowed disobediently, an eyebrow arched.

"Why'd you do that?"

"I told you I'm serious, Todd. Serious enough to not be squeamish about things like that. Serious enough to want to swallow."

"This feels wrong."

Neil tried to hold him in a warm embrace to comfort him, but Todd shrugged him off. He frowned and asked, "What about it feels wrong? I love loving you, and I'd be happy if you were only liking me back half as much."

The words hung in the air for a good two minutes. Todd asked slowly, "You love me?"

Neil had never been more sure of anything in his life. "Yes."

"No, Neil, you don't. You're attracted. We've only known each other for two and a half months, and I don't think you've ever even had a real crush before."

Neil sat back on his rock. Todd stood up and faced a wall as he worked on putting his pants on properly. "So? There are some things you just know."

"Why didn't you say you loved me before we came?"

"If I recall correctly, a certain someone started sucking face too quickly for me to talk about feelings." He countered roughly, angry at how irrational Todd was being.

"I wish I hadn't," Todd said as he turned to face Neil.

He immediately turned contrite."Don't start doubting this all now, that's not what I meant."

Todd glared and asked, "Who will doubt if I don't? You're so willing to go on these- these passing whims without questioning. I'm not going to deal with a broken heart, Neil, not even for you."

Incredulously, Neil wondered, "Are you saying that if you don't chicken out, I'll leave you? Todd, you idiot, this is your damn inconfidence speaking. Realize this!" It was incredibly frustrating to know that Todd wasn't disgusted and possibly returned his feelings with fervor… they were thwarted by a lack of basic trust.

Todd flared up. "I'm being cautious, not inconfident. This is exactly how you are with acting. You do it without thinking of the consequences. What will happen when your father finds out?"

"When he finds out? He won't. But you are like acting in that I'm risking everything to enjoy you because you're worth it."

"We'll speak later. I'm done with this for the moment."

Never had Neil heard Todd sound so authoritative. He had no choice but to agree as Todd started walking out of the cave whether Neil was with him or not. Sighing unhappily, Neil tied his scarf around his waist to try to hide what they had done and traipsed after him.

~Kachow~

Wish I knew how to write stuff like this. Anyone got any tips on how to make this better? I would truly appreciate the help. And I'm very glad of all your lovely reviews, they make my day every time I get one. As for questions, how old are the lot of you? Any of you have boyfriends? Rant to me about them, either in PM or on an actual review. Should I use these beginning and end spaces to give a little blurb about my own boyfriend, or would that be boring? Thanks!