Sorry for not updating! First of all I lost ALL MY NOTES ON MY PHONE! It was pretty traumatic, mainly because I had almost finished a wonderful Avengers story :^( And then not long after I updated this, my dog died. He was old but I still miss him, but then I missed writing so expect more updates and stories :]

The next week is a whirlwind of packing clothes, making travel arrangements with Effie's house, and mentally preparing for the experience of seeing a man I thought dead for many years. Peeta and I talked a lot before deciding to bring our children, and in the end we decided it was about time that they left what was once District 12. It did however make things more complicated.

Ever since the rebellion ended Peeta and I have both kept low profiles, we don't give interviews, attend events, and there is no chance either of us would agree to be on a TV show. In spite of that we are both still pretty famous, if anything our secrecy has only added to our fame. So although it is not horribly likely that either of us would be noticed I still told Effie to please make our trip as discreet a possible.

If just Peeta and I, or even I had just gone we could have moved quickly silently and smoothly. With two children under that age of five though the trip just got quite a bit harder. Now as I board the hover train for the first time I am not remembering the times I boarded one of these vehicles to be shipped to an arena. Between taking care of Rosé and Roran and being filled with the excitement of Cinna I hardly have time to remember those horrible times. But of course I do still remember, because how can I ever really forget things I have been through? But I don't remember the way I usually do. Instead I have flashes of recalling plunging a knife between Haymitches fingers, hearing screams from my nightmares every time the brakes cause the hover car to shrilly stop. But still compared to other hover car trips this is nothing.

The first time I did try to leave my district after the rebellion I couldn't do it. I had planned to leave to visit Gale and perhaps my mother before I married Peeta, but I just couldn't do it. I had barely stepped foot on the vehicle I had started sobbing and collapsed into Peeta"s arms. I had just had so much trouble going onto something I had associated with death and misfortune for so long. Still, hating myself for displaying weakness as I did I forced myself to travel on the car the next day.

That night Peeta and I sit in the dining room watching the landscape flow by out our windows, for the first time I feel at peace when traveling away from my district.

When I awake the next morning Rose is leaning over my face. "Mama! Mama!" She says excitement evident in her voice. "We can see the city! It's so beautiful mama! You have to come see it!" I chuckle ironically to myself. "Sweetie, I have seen it before! You know I have been here, remember?" But although I do not want to I let her drag me out of bed to see a city I loathe where I lost people I love. But instead of looking at the shiny buildings on the horizon I stare at my daughter adoring how excited she is and smiling with her squeals of delight. Just as I don't tell her one of her favorite play places at home is essentially a graveyard I do not tell her the city she gazes at with rapt adoration is a still healing battlefield.

As we approach the city and get even closer Roran joins his sister at the window, mimicking her sounds if delight and excitement, when I start seeing memorials to the dead or buildings still being rebuilt years after a war I was part of I walk away. Leaving Peeta to watch the kids I go to our room to change.

I spent longer than I ever do laboring over what outfit to wear today, I don't particularly care fashion but I know Cinna does so I wanted to look nice for him. In the end I decided on one of the few dresses I own, a sweeping thing the color of freshly tilled earth, with the sash and ends of the sleeves the color of dying embers. It is nothing compared to the masterpieces Cinna"s beautiful mind can design, but I think he may like it.

I let Peeta wrestle Roran into his outfit and get him clean when I get rose ready. I pull her black hair back into a sweet ponytail and pull her blue dress over her head, I like to dress her in blue as it reminds me of her aunt and name sake who is in the blue sky above us now. I almost never dressy children in the colors of fire.

Before our hover car pulls in Peeta and I take a few moments to use sunglasses and scarves to help hide our appearances, though we only have to walk a little bit before we get into the car Effie arranged to have us go to Cinna"s in. We are driven in the car for maybe half an hour as we head towards the edge of the city, but with two children gazing out the windows in awe the time flies by.

As the car pulls up to a building looking like a dozen others we have passed Peeta asks me, "Do you want us to wait in the car when you go in?" Do I? I don't know what it will be like seeing him after so many years, I don't know what I will say. "No," I decide. "I want my family with me when I see him."

We help the kids get out and handing Roran to Peeta, I grasp Rose"s hand. I wish she was still small enough that I could hold her. We are buzzed into the building by a guard, and after the kids go into ecstatics over riding an elevator we find ourselves in front of the door for apartment 917.

I stand in front of the door and raise a hand to knock on it but- I can't. I turn to Peeta, and maybe he can see the fear in my eyes because he stoops in to give me a quick kiss,

and before I can say another word he knocks on the door.

In the pregnant pause that follows I have the ridiculous thought that this is all a sick joke, that Cinna is really dead, that I have been part of an elaborate prank. And them the door opens.

We stare into each others eyes for a millisecond before I fling myself into his arms. Though I manage not to cry vocally some tears leak from my eyes as I bury my face into his shoulder. We both mumble incoherent words to each other before we part and look at each other.

His eyes are still exactly the same, though they may have lost some of there sparkle they still have beautiful golden flecks and are lined with golden eyeliner, but that is the only thing that is the same thing. With his hair cropped close to his head and face gaunt with hunger he is a ghost of the man he was- and of course I now see he has scars. Ragged misshapen round scars line the sides of his face, and I remember vividly the metal fists that pummeled him as I entered the second arena. Suddenly I fear I did the wrong thing by coming- and then he opens his mouth.

"I can not express how happy I am to see you." Overjoyed eyes sweeping my family he adds,"All of you." I laugh in relief as more tears escape me. "Please do come in!" He urges after giving Peeta a quick hug.

Ugh I feel this is really bad and dull :( Please tell me if you hate it :( If you do not hate it the next chapter has Cinna designing an outfit for Rose and Katniss stumbling along a memorial that has a familiar name on it! If I am a bad writer TELL ME. And review! Every time you review a hunger game character comes back from dying ;)