FIFTY-SIX
o
"I'm so sorry, Sydney," Jack felt his eyes burning with tears seeing Sydney so upset and feeling his own heart clenching at the memory of Lena's condition when they'd found her, thinking about how much it had to have hurt his wife and daughter to watch Lena being tortured. "We can't take you up there right now. As soon as they are done with your foot I promise, we'll go together." He held her until her cries quieted with his reassurance they'd go up to see Lena as soon as they were finished with Sydney's foot.
Sydney slumped back into her fluffy pillows in defeat when he let her go, closing her eyes for a moment as more silent tears stained her cheeks and she sniffled. "I don't understand it. After everything…Mom goes down on the plane." She shook her head softly in disbelief.
"The doctor said he was surprised your mother lasted that long." Jack spoke honestly and quietly, having thought about the question before as well. "I think she was holding on…until she knew you were safe, Sydney." His eyes found hers with a soft smile, "I think her love for you is so powerful, she wouldn't allow her body to shut down, until she knew that you were safe. Once she knew you were, she couldn't fight it anymore."
"I can't believe she was physically able to jump out of the helicopter and save me then, if she was so close to death... To be able to hold onto the both of us like she did." Sydney shook her pounding head again softly in wonder and amazement at her mother's body, determination, and most of all love.
"Your mother is extraordinary." Jack spoke softly with a small smile, marveling with his daughter at Irina. "As are you, Sydney. As much as I'd like to ring your neck for going after your mother without back up like you did, voluntarily walking into a trap, I am proud of your reasons." He admitted proudly, also realizing that it was likely Irina's will to hold on long enough to keep Sydney safe, that likely saved Irina's life. Without Sydney being there, Irina may have been dead before they found them.
Sydney was a little stunned by Jack's admission.
"Dad, I had to. When he called, it was either follow his instructions or take the chance of losing what might have been the only lead we had on Mom and Lena. I knew I was walking into trap and I only hoped that you guys would catch on quickly but I couldn't let Mom go through that alone, not again." Her eyes filled with more tears and her voice quivered, "And I was given the chance to be there with her…so I went."
"I know, Sweetheart…" Jack clasped her one hand in the both of his, speaking softly with understanding as a nurse put a bandage over the cut on Sydney's forehead.
"Dad, how did you know where to find us?" Sydney asked quietly after a moment.
"Cuvee. To taunt me…and I suppose your mother if she knows...sent me a video file." His eyes found hers again speaking in the same hushed tones, "Mikhail recognized it to be Cuvee's office in Kashmir." He saw the moment of registration flash through Sydney's eyes.
"In the office?" Sydney whispered and swallowed hard, looking into her father's eyes with her own blurry ones, "When he made her chose between raping me…or her?"
"Yes." Jack nodded softly and they were both quiet again as Sydney averted her eyes and looked at the crisp white sheet covering her legs. "Sydney, did he ever?" Jack braved the tough question he knew he needed to ask, his heart pounding rapidly at the thought of Cuvee raping his daughter, too.
"No." She said immediately, shaking her head with more tears. "Just Mom. Always Mom. He said he wanted to have his 'fun' with her before he killed her. Then he'd take me away and 'break me' like he had done to her." Her bottom lip trembled as her eyes looked up to meet his, "The things he did to her, Dad…" She shook her head at the assault of images flooding her mind of Cuvee ravaging her mother, "He played this sick 'game' he called it, with us. Where he had Mom chained, suspended from the ceiling in the torture room…hooked up to electrodes…while I was strapped down onto the table in front of her." Her voice cracked and her words were barely above a whisper and Jack could feel the tremors passing through her body in the hand he held in his own. "He would electrocute Mom until she screamed in pain and then as soon as she did, he'd stop with her and then torch me until I screamed and then he'd go back to electrocuting Mom until she screamed and he kept doing this…knowing that neither one of us wanted to scream. Knowing that as soon as we did…the other would be tortured." She sniffled as her eyes and nose ran, a shiver shaking her whole body at remembering seeing her mother withering against her chains, the blood coursing down her face from her mouth. "Mom fought it…and refused to scream. I was screaming at her to just scream because he was killing her!" She sobbed, and Jack's eyes filled with tears hearing of their torture and hearing again of Irina's maternal instincts to protect at all costs to herself. "She wouldn't though, trying to protect me and finally she couldn't take it anymore and passed out." She gripped his hand harder, trying desperately to hold on as her body, her soul, trembled with the recollection. "He realized he was killing her, that she was dying and decided…to rape her again quickly before she did." Sydney sobbed and Jack fought viciously to fend off his tears, keep them from falling. "Dad, he just raped her…while she unconscious and dying…chained to the wall…he just raped her." Her words were barely above a whisper. "I've never wanted to kill anyone more in my life then in that moment…not even Sloane, Dad." Her glistening eyes found his, "Please tell me that he is dead? That Cuvee is burning in the pit-fires of hell and will never…ever be able to hurt Mom again?"
"Yes, he's dead. He won't ever hurt your mother, or you, or Lena ever again." Jack sighed, taking a deep breath and blinked back his remaining tears.
"You're positive? He has no way of escaping death?" Sydney was still worried knowing that in this life, people came back from the dead often.
"Yes, I am positive. I shot him in the head myself." Jack swallowed hard, his mind suddenly flashing to Irina in that moment and her act of compassion for the man who didn't deserve it, having Jack end Cuvee's suffering when he'd made her suffer again and again never showing an iota of compassion that she bestowed upon him. "His body was consumed by the fires on Earth while his soul was consumed by the fires of Hell."
"Thank God." Sydney sighed in relief, closing her eyes as more tears fell. "It's finally over." Her eyes flashed open, "Please tell me, Mom at least got to extract some revenge on the monster before you ended his miserable existence?"
"Yes. She did." Jack nodded softly.
"Good." Sydney squeezed his hand again, eyes caring a, seriousness even as the corners of her mouth turned up in pride and admiration. "You saved her, Dad. She knew you'd come. This time, she knew you'd come."
The doctors were able to stabilize Irina, though still Critical, and she was moved to an Intensive Care Unit on the 8th floor. Sydney was admitted as well, and her room was on the Burn Unit on the 6th floor where they could monitor her foot. Lena was still in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit on the 5th floor. The same rules were applied for the Intensive Care Unit Irina was in and only two visitors were allowed at a time.
"You can go in now, sir." The nurse smiled nervously at Jack as she exited Irina's room, having gotten her completely settled and another nurse was still finishing up.
Jack and Katya cautiously walked into the ICU Pod that was Irina's and Katya gasped softly, tears flooding her eyes at seeing her sister like this again not even 6 months after she survived death from Execution. The nurse began to tell them of Irina's injuries and treatments given.
Irina had been put on a ventilator and the doctor said that once her numbers started coming down, they would remove it. She had lost enough blood from her injuries that she was in need of a transfusion and Katya, once again, had donated her blood gladly to her sister. Irina was suffering from a compound concussion and skull fracture first, from the car accident and yet another from having her head slammed against the concrete wall. The open, deep wounds on her wrists from her restraints were infected but had been cleaned and sutured with dozens of little blue stitches making bracelets around her slight wrists and the cuts on her face had been closed with butterfly bandages and a few stitches. The burns from Cuvee's cigarette and cigar, as well as those left behind from the electrodes had been cleaned and dressed. Cuvee had broken three ribs and her chest had been wrapped with an elastic bandage for support. The internal damage the man had caused by raping her was severe enough to require stitching, in three layers. She was dehydrated and exhausted like Sydney and a continuous drip of IV fluids and insulin poured into her veins.
"Ma'am...Your Highness," The nurse swallowed hard realizing whom she was addressing and what she was about to say. "You are still listed as the Medical Power of Attorney for the Tsar," She eyed Jack nervously knowing he was Irina's husband."
"I am?" Katya was astonished and eyes flashed to Jack for understanding.
"She must have forgotten or hasn't had time to change it yet with so much happening in the last few months." Jack reasoned as that made the most sense but then eyes narrowed as to why the nurse was bringing this up. "Why does that matter right now?"
"I'm so sorry, sir." The nurse gulped nervously with Jack and Katya both holding their breath as the woman went on. "But a time sensitive decision needs to be made and since the Tsar is unconscious she cannot make the decision for herself. You'll have to make it for her, Your Highness." She looked at Katya again.
"What decision?" Katya gasped fear striking her heart.
"The Tsar was sexually assaulted...We only have a small window to administer any medication that would prevent or terminate any pregnancy that may result from the assault." The nurse saw the immediate horror in both Jack and Katya's eyes in thinking about that aspect of her recent trauma. "If we are going to terminate any potential pregnancy, than we need to do it now. We cannot wait for the Tsar to wake up and ask her what she wants to do."
"Terminate." Katya exhaled the breath she'd been holding in. "Without hesitation, terminate. Now." The last thing Irina needed was to be impregnated by Cuvee from rape again. She'd already gone through enough without adding to it. Her eyes flashed with Jack's for confirmation of what they both knew of what Irina's wishes would be and he nodded solemnly in agreement at the never-ending horrors.
"Okay. We'll give it to her now in her IV. If there is anything else, or if you have any questions…" The nurse paused by the door, "We'll be right outside at the Nurse's Station." She gave them a small warm smile. Noticing that Jack was still in his black tactical gear, his face streaked with smoke and smudges from tears she added, "If you would like to clean up, Mr. Bristow, there is a family waiting area with showers available just down the hall. I can find you some scrubs for you to wear if you'll be more comfortable?"
"Yes, Thank you." Jack nodded with a small smile through his tired eyes. He knew it wasn't very sanitary to be around Irina and certainly not Lena with as dirty as he and everyone else on the team was. He was going to have to shower before he went to see Lena, to touch her.
"I'll go find you some scrubs then." She smiled and left.
Jack stood at the end of Irina's bed listening to the rhythmic beeping of her heart on the monitor and the soft whooshing of her ventilator.
Katya looked from her sister whose color was improving to the exhausted man beside her and smiled before flinging her arms around Jack tightly and taking him by surprise.
"You saved her, Jack. Thank you." She cried happy tears over his shoulder, that in spite of Irina's fragile condition now, she was here…she was alive. Jack slowly wrapped his arms around her, holding her back, both needing the contact in their shared relief and worry.
Jack and Katya sat with Irina, holding her hands while Jack explained quietly to Katya what had happened in the rescue and what happened on the plane when Irina went unconscious and then into Cardiac Arrest. After assuring him that she would not leave Irina's side, Katya successfully managed to convince Jack to go grab a shower and check in on Sydney and Lena, whom she knew he was dying to see.
The shower had been quick but a short reprieve from the insanity still surrounding him and he decided that they were over the worst of it, his girls would all keep improving and soon…he'd be able to take them all home.
Sydney had demanded a shower and after much protesting, she eventually got her way after breaking down to Vaughn crying that she had to wash Cuvee and that prison's filth from her body. Her desperate pleas understandable after what she'd been through and Vaughn and another nurse managed to help her get cleaned up, washing her long hair and carefully removing the dried blood and grime from her bruised skin.
When Jack arrived to take her to see Lena, she was clothed in the traditional hospital gown and robe, sitting in a wheelchair with her leg propped up and her IV stand along side her, obviously anxious to see her sister.
Once Sydney was safe in the presence of her father, Vaughn took the opportunity to change and get him self cleaned up, finding Weiss and Sark had done the same. Now all four men were dressed in mint green hospital scrubs and went from looking like a SWAT team to a group of doctors.
"Are you ready?" Jack asked softly, searching Sydney's eyes before he pushed through the NICU doors. He knew she was anxious to see Lena but the overwhelming reality of her injuries, seeing her in that incubator was undoubtedly going to hit his oldest daughter hard.
"Yes." Sydney nodded, tears already pooling.
He pushed the button on the wall and the large metal doors opened and he wheeled Sydney inside, earning looks from the nurses and doctors as well as other patients and visitors, everyone knowing who these two were and whom they were going to see.
When they reached Lena's Pod, Sophia bolted from the rocking chair with a smile and happy tears at seeing Sydney.
"Oh Sydney!" She smiled excitedly as she bent over to hug Sydney, kissing her cheeks. "Thank God, you're okay." She smiled brushing her fingers gently over Sydney's bruised face as more tears came for both girls, and Sophia kissed her once again. "She's been doing really well today." Sophia smiled looking back at Lena in the incubator and then to Jack and Sydney. "I'll leave you guys with her. I want to go see Aunt Rina, if that's ok?"
"Yes, of course. Thank you, Sophia." Jack grabbed her arm and kissed her cheek before she turned to leave. "Your mother is sitting with her now."
"Oh Lena…" Sydney gasped as Jack pushed her forward, giving her a better view. Her eyes immediately overflowed with tears, as she looked up at her sister in the plastic incubator, watching Lena's little chest rising and falling under the elastic band keeping her arm in place. She sobbed loudly and instantly the moment her eyes fell upon the tiny mangled hand, surprised to see that two fingers had been reattached with various wires exposed and the stump of a closure for the Pinky that was lost.
"They couldn't save her Pinky." Jack cried with Sydney kissing her head in support and could only imagine what it must have been like for Irina and Sydney to witness the monster cutting Lena's fingers off.
"Why are her eyes covered?" She sniffled, her palm resting on the clear barrier.
"To protect them from the light." Jack said softly, his own palm over the glass, and relieved to see his baby girl again. "I promised her I would find you, and bring you both back." He turned his face to smile softly at Sydney, earning him a smile in response, and Sydney batted at her fallen tears.
"Dad, I want to stand up to get a better look at her. Can you please help me?" Sydney looked up at him with her famous doe eyes and Jack couldn't refuse. Gently he gripped her arms and helped pull her up, allowing her to use his body for support as she could not stand on her foot. "Thank you." She smiled at him, having a better view of her sister now. She took in her sisters' appearance, the cast on her tiny arm and the elastic band holding the other to her little body, the thick row of stitches that extended from the top of her sternum to her navel. "What are all those red marks? Are those…" She couldn't finish as more tears spilled forth, knowing what they were already.
"Bite marks…from the rats." Jack answered with a heavy heart, "But they are healing well, Sydney. They look a lot better then when I last saw her early this morning... I can't even believe it hasn't been 24 hours."
The day had started as a whirl-wind of getting the tape from Cuvee, flying to India, then Kashmir, the prison break in, rescuing Sydney and Irina, the escape of the wild inferno, the flight back and now in the very early hours of the morning, back at the hospital with all three.
"Seeing her like this…is just going to crush Mom." Sydney said barely above a whisper, remembering her mother's guilt over what happened when they talked in the prison. "She feels like this is all her fault, which it obviously isn't but she still feels guilty that she couldn't protect her from him."
"Her guilt in unfounded and she has no reason to feel that way, though I understand why she does." Jack mulled over Irina's guilt in his own heart and mind. "It's hard for a parent to realize that there are just some things in life that are uncontrollable and you can't protect your child from everything no matter how hard you try."
"She never really believed Lena was dead." Sydney spoke softly as more tears fell, grazing her hand over the plastic incubator, wanting so badly to hold her sister in her arms, kiss her soft downy head.
"What?" Jack asked softly, not understanding what Sydney was saying as she just stopped without an explanation of her words.
"Mom," Sydney turned to look at him, feeling safe in her father's strong arms for the first time since she was six years old on that camping trip when she broke her leg. "She said that she couldn't 'feel' that disconnection with Lena. She said in her heart, she didn't believe she was dead and Mom was right." Her eyes turned back to look at her sister.
"A very powerful connection; that bond between a mother and child." Jack smiled, his eyes welling with tears as his emotions got the best of him thinking about Irina and his girls. "Do you want to touch her?" Jack's smile widened realizing that they could poke their hands through the side holes if they wanted now.
"Yes! Of course! Can we?" Sydney's eyebrows suddenly furrowed in 'that' way that was so distinctly a Derevko trait and made Jack laugh softly.
"Yes. We can."
Vladimir had informed the Russian public as well as the world that Irina and Sydney had been found and were now receiving medical attention. Irina was in Intensive Care in a Diabetic Coma in Critical Condition and Sydney was being treated for non-life threatening injuries. Immediately after his public statement, the Russian PR service was bombarded with 'well wishers' from governments around the world, wondering how they could help and where they could send flowers and food and anything else the Imperial Family might need at this time.
Weiss had spoken with Kendall, updating him on everything and everyone. He'd told him the shortened version of the rescue from what he'd heard from Sark and Vaughn and then from is own account. They would all have to file official reports when they returned but that could wait for now. A huge sigh of relief had gone around the Russian and American Intelligence groups had had collaborated to find and bring Irina, Sydney and Lena home.
The following day, Katya and Sophia had decided that the hospital issued gowns that Sydney and Irina wore were unacceptable and went shopping for something else for them to wear. It was a short reprieve that was greatly appreciated for the both of them, getting them out of the hospital for awhile as they had been there for almost a week without leaving.
Jack encouraged them to go and they took Bella with them, knowing she needed a break just as much. Mikhail, Vaughn, Sark, Weiss and Jack all took turns sitting with Irina, Sydney and Lena over the course of the next couple of days.
Irina's numbers were slowly coming down and Jack was waiting impatiently for her to wake up so he could look into her big beautiful brown eyes.
The Russian public maintained their vigil outside the hospital and those who weren't able to attend, lit candles and placed them in every window of every home, every storefront window and every church.
Sydney was elated with the soft satin nightgown and matching robe that the women had bought for her. Their happiness was only dampened slightly when the doctor and nurses informed them that as long as Irina was in ICU and on the ventilator, she had to keep the hospital issue gown that was easily torn away if need be in an Emergency. As soon as Irina was off the breathing machine and moved to her own private room, then she could wear the beautiful black nightgown and robe the women had found for her.
The following day, Irina's numbers had improved enough to take her off the ventilator and by the end of the day she had been moved to her own private room.
It was sometime in the middle of the night on the fifth day post rescue, that Jack felt the light squeezing of his fingers. He had been sleeping with his head face down in Irina's bed, his fingers linked with hers as he sat in the chair beside her bed. He hadn't been sure he felt the movement or dreamt it and when she squeezed them again, he bolted upright, his face searching hers and smiled when he saw her fluttering eyes and the sparkle of light that hit her beautiful eyes as she opened them further.
"Irina," He said softly, moving to stand without releasing her hand, so that he was closer to her, looking down into her eyes. "Hey beautiful…Welcome back." He smiled as tears flooded his eyes when she gave him a small smile and gripped his hand more tightly.
"Hi," She croaked out with a dry rasp softly.
"Here." Jack quickly poured her a cup of water and tilted the straw so that she could have a sip. "Better?" He asked setting the cup down when she nodded.
"How long?" She asked quietly as Jack sat on the edge of the bed beside her, stroking her long hair and pushing it behind her ears, with a smile he couldn't tear off his face at his happiness of her being awake. The last thing Irina remembered clearly was getting on the CIA's plane in India and Julian bandaging her wrist and then... her mother on the beach.
"Five days. You went into Cardiac Arrest on the plane." His eyes welled with tears. "We worked on you for 25 minutes before we got your heart beating again... and then you fell into a Diabetic Coma." He brushed her bruised cheek gently with the back of his fingers. "That's twice you've died on me now in the last six months." He gasped with a tear-filled smile full of fear and relief, "I can't lose you, again. Not ever again. I love you, Irina." He kissed her gently. He had been dying to do that since he barged into Cuvee's office and found her, but there wasn't time and the situation and timing were off then.
"You came for me." She rasped out, with his face still hovering over hers, just inches away, her eyes filling with tears, her heart pumping furiously now with the love she had for him and setting off a rapid stream of beats from the machine. She had wanted to believe in her heart that he would, told her self he would, knew he would…but was never more relieved to see him then when he came through that door in Cuvee's office, her beliefs and hopes had become reality.
Jack smiled hearing the sound of the beeps pick up and looking into her shining eyes with unbridled love. His own tears finally spilling down his cheek silently as he dipped his head once more, to capture her lips softly with his, holding them there and letting it linger.
Irina raised her free hand to the back of Jack's head, tangling in his hair as she held his face to hers', their fallen tears mingling together over her cheeks.
"I love you, Jack." She whispered. "Thank you for coming for me."
"You don't have to thank me." He brushed his nose with hers softly, looking into her dark glistening eyes. "I love you…I'll always come for you, Irina…and had I known you were still alive twenty years ago, I would have come for you then, too." He spoke softly, honestly knowing in his heart that he would have, no matter what he'd learned about her. If he had known then, right after he was released from prison before the years of anger and hate replaced the love, that she was alive…he would have found her in spite of who she really was.
"I know you would have." She kissed him again and then pulled him down to her, holding him as he buried his face into her neck and hair, and her own face into his neck, inhaling his scent, overcome by emotions. The emotions from the past and the emotions of the present flooding through her veins. "How are Sydney and Lena? Jack, where are my babies?" She pulled back with fear running through her eyes and her heart rate spiked considerably.
"They're ok, Irina. Sydney is a couple of floors below you in the Burn Unit for her foot and Lena is still in the NICU." His attention was drawn to the heart monitor and the alarm that was now going off from the instant jolt in Irina's heartbeat. "Love, you need to calm down…They're ok."
"I want to see them. Now Jack. I want to see them now!" Irina's eyes flooded with more tears. She had to make sure for herself that her girls were ok. She hadn't seen Lena since Cuvee had left her broken and bleeding on the cold factory floor. Her heart ached to hold them both in her arms.
The nurses had been alerted to the alarm and were immediately descending upon the room, surprised smiles lit their faces when they saw she was awake.
"I know you want to see them, Irina, but you are in no condition to travel anywhere, yet. You just woke up from a coma and your blood glucose is still too high. The girls are both sleeping…its only 3:00 A.M." He stroked the side of her head, wiping her tears with his thumb as the nurses worked around him, shutting off the alarm.
"Your Highness, glad to see you're awake." The one named Ivana smiled at Irina, hanging a new IV bag. "I know you want to see your beautiful girls but I'm afraid you can't right now, as your husband said." She looked over at Jack, maintaining her smile as she watched the couple before her. Having only heard about the Tsar's bizarre love story in the news and now witnessing it first hand. The loving touches and caresses, the tears, the soft-spoken words and the way they held onto each other. "They are asleep and you still need to rest."
"I've been in a coma! Sleeping for five days! That's enough rest." Irina spoke determinedly and Jack had to hold in his chuckle thinking back to Sydney and her almost identical reaction and expression when she wanted to see Lena when she was first brought in.
"You may have been unconscious, Empress, but you weren't really 'resting.' Your body was working very hard to repair itself." The nurse smiled, seeing the tenacious side of the Tsar she'd heard so much about, putting others before her own self, always. 'This woman is truly 'Mother Russia.' The smiling nurse thought to herself. 'Her fighting spirit to protect her children…This was exactly what Russia needed.' "I promise that as soon as your numbers drop down a bit more, we'll take you to see your gorgeous baby and I'm sure the Grand Duchess Sydney will come see you first thing in the morning." The smiling nurse gripped Irina's forearm softly, trying to calm her seeing her heart still racing. "She's come to your room first thing every morning since you've both arrived. She's as tenacious as you, Empress, in getting what she wants. We've had to practically drag her back to her own room to rest, she's been so intent on staying by yours and her sister's sides."
"That sounds like, Sydney." Irina smiled softly, sighing with relief and both Jack and the nurse chuckled. If Sydney was being as stubborn as she, she must be 'ok.'
"Right now. I would like you to please calm down for me." The nurse glanced over to the heart monitor still beeping madly as Irina's heart raced past 267 and she raised Irina's upper body, propping her up a little by pressing the buttons on the bed. "Take some calming breaths for me and close your eyes. Try to relax and get some more rest. Please or you'll end up in Cardiac Arrest again." She looked over to Jack ordering him with her eyes to help get her point across.
Jack felt a jolt of fear with her warning of Irina's heart giving out again after so much stress, and kissed her fingers in his hand before smoothing her hair over her head again.
"Listen to the smart woman, Irina, she's done an amazing job of taking care of you these last few days." He looked over at the nurse and winked, catching her surprise on her face. "Close your eyes, My Love," He whispered lovingly to Irina, drowning in her chocolate depths. "I'll stay right here. I promise, Irina, I'm not going anywhere." He felt her grip clinging to him and he couldn't blame her for not wanting to be left alone after what she'd been through.
"I want my babies, Jack." She whispered softly again, tears in her eyes as her bottom lip quivered in a way Jack had never seen and it was almost his undoing. He was about to pick her up, tubes and all, and carry her down to her daughters.
Irina felt an overwhelming sense of guilt that this man she had brought into their lives, had done such horrible things to her children. Her fear would not be abated until she saw them, held them in her own arms and determined for herself that they were out of danger.
Jack's eyes quickly darted to the nurse, silently asking if he could take Irina to see them, knowing already the answer but hoping none-the-less. The nurse shook her head 'no' softly with a sad look on her face and Jack quickly turned back to his wife.
"I know, My Love…but you can't right now." He rested his forehead against hers, stroking the side of her head. "Rest for a few more hours…let your body heal. The faster it heals, the faster you will get to see them…ok?" He wiped her tear tracks again softly; kissing their invisible path across her bruised and split cheek tenderly with his lips.
Irina nodded softly, as another big tear spilled down her cheek in resignation when she closed her eyes and leaned into Jack's palm.
"I'll let you two get some rest." The nurse smiled softly at the beautiful couple, feeling her own tears flooding her eyes and not wanting to cry in front of the Imperial family.
"Thank you…for everything." Irina's eyes quickly flew open, giving the nurse a soft smile for taking care of her.
"It is my honor." The nurse gave a slight bow to Irina, then looked at Jack and quickly turned over come with emotion and a tear slipped down her cheek.
Jack ran his hand over Irina's head in a soft caress until her heart rate held steady again at 82 and her breathing evened out as she fell asleep. When he was sure she was out, he placed a soft kiss to her temple and then lips before resuming his position in the chair beside her bed, falling back to sleep himself.
Irina awoke an hour later having the urge to use the restroom with all the fluids being pumped into her and was not happy that she was still hooked to a catheter and made the nurse remove it promptly. Thankfully, the nurse had no arguments knowing that the thing was entirely uncomfortable to an 'awake' person.
After that problem was solved, Irina fell quickly back to sleep and a short three hours later, awoke again and smiled seeing Jack sleeping face down against her bed again, his body bent at a strange angle that was certainly uncomfortable and his exhausted features told her of his own sleepless nights. She ran her hand softly over his steely gray hair and felt tears pricking her eyes as a smile broke across her features. He looked so peaceful in his sleep, like it had been his first peaceful sleep in days and she hadn't the heart to wake him up but was dying to see her baby.
Knowing she would probably be told she wasn't strong enough yet to leave her bed if she called the nurse, she decided to take matters into her own hands.
Quietly and softly, she pulled back her rough, crisp white bed sheets that she decided from now on, would be washed with softener as well, making a mental note to make it a new hospital policy after feeling the terrible texture against her skin. She swung her legs over the side and gasped in pain, biting her lip to keep from waking Jack as she grabbed her side. Her broken ribs irritated by the quick movement.
Looking at the various tubes and machines threaded into her body, she followed the power cords and pulled them out of the wall, having had practice at this before. She looped the cords around the metal stand and used the bed rail and IV pole, to help her stand.
Once that was accomplished, she looked at her undesirable attire. The muted gray material with turquoise star bursts. The back was entirely open and that wouldn't do to walk around the hospital, the Tsar of Russia, with her bum hanging out exposed to everyone she smiled softly to herself looking around the room. Spotting an open box with tissue paper on the chair a few feet away, she pushed the stand ahead of her, smiling happily when she saw the black nightgown and robe.
"Katya." She whispered, shaking her head and thanking her sister.
Looking back at Jack, she grabbed the front of her ugly hospital gown and tore it off with one fall swoop, throwing it over onto the bed. She pulled the satiny gown over her head and threaded one arm through the spaghetti strap hole only to realize, she couldn't do that with the other arm without unhooking her heart monitors and IV.
Knowing she couldn't unhook the electrodes without alerting the nurses of her 'escape' she improvised and threaded the cords along with her through the hole the strap created. The luxurious fabric fell down around her slender body and Irina smiled. She was already tired from struggling with the dress and in too much of a hurry to see her baby so she forwent the robe and inched towards the door cautiously.
Opening the door to her room cautiously, she poked her head out looking around. She noted the nurse's station down the hall to the right and the elevators to the left. Seeing that the few nurses who were currently on staff, occupied with other things, Irina stepped out into the hallway, the cool tiles against her bare feet sending a shiver up her body.
She maneuvered her IV stand containing her insulin pump, her IV drip, and heart monitor out of the door with the same feline gracefulness she always possessed and felt someone's eyes suddenly on her. She turned around and smiled when she saw it was a mother and a young teenage girl, who was recovering from Open Heart Surgery by the looks of the fresh incision and staples Irina could see jutting out of the top of the girls gown.
The girl was a mixture of awe, surprise and smiles as she looked at Irina clearly escaping as all patients on that floor were only allowed to leave their rooms accompanied by a nurse or relative.
Irina saw the girl's eyes go to Irina's own scar exposed above her nightgown from her own Open Heart Surgery and her long fingers reached up to trace the scar lightly, looking up to meet the girl's eyes and her mother's with a smile, as if to say, 'it will be ok, see, I'm ok…welcome to the club.' She pushed her IV stand towards them and stopped just in front of the girl, cupping her face lightly and dropping a kiss to her head before backing up and finding the girl's face glowing at her attention and her mother's eyes glistening with happy tears at Irina's kindness towards her ailing daughter.
Irina put her finger to her lips and whispered, "Shhh," and then winked at them when they nodded before slipping into the elevators and waving softy at them before the doors closed, a triumphant smile on her face that she had manage to escape. Having been the one to commission this hospital, she knew exactly what floor the NICU was on and pressed the button accordingly.
When it stopped just one floor after, the bewildered people who joined her in the elevator smiled in awe in fascination at their Tsar standing beside them in a black satin nightgown, covered in bruises and bandages and carting an IV pole beside her. Their attention made Irina slightly nervous and she smiled softly at them then looked at the floor.
"Sorry, if it seems like we're staring but we weren't aware you'd awakened from your coma, Empress. We're so happy that you're safe." An older woman smiled seeing Irina's obvious shyness about standing before them in her nightgown and in her current disheveled state. The woman was holding the hand of a little girl, about six years old, looking up at Irina with big blue wide-eyes. "We'll continue to pray for you and your family."
"I just awoke last night and thank you for your thoughts and prayers." Irina smiled softly, nervously pushing the hair behind her ear and catching the eyes of the little girl again. The elevator continued to stop on every floor down, with more people getting on, and no one getting off…even if it had been their stop, they were enthralled watching their Tsar.
"Are you the real Empress?" Her little chubby face looked up brightly at Irina, her voice almost a whisper having heard her babushka refer to the beautiful woman riding beside them as the 'Empress.'
"Yes, Sweetheart," Irina reached out gently to brush her fingers across the girls soft cheek, having flashes of Sydney at the same age and remembering her own fascination with 'princesses' then.
"That was an amazing motorcycle chase and jump in Spain, Your Highness. Catching that terrorist…was just…unbelievable." A young man in his early twenties Irina guessed smiled happily from the opposite corner and her eyebrows knit in confusion and her head cocked to the side, having no idea how he knew.
An older gentleman beside him saw her confusion and realized she had been kidnapped and in a coma and more than likely, had no idea of the recent news coverage. "It was on the news, Your Highness." He smiled, giving her an answer to a question she hadn't voiced. "And it was unbelievable. You make us all proud to be Russian again."
Irina smiled warmly, her heart fluttering at his words.
"I have a new baby brother!" The little girl said excitedly and then just as quickly asked, "What happened to you? You got a bunch of ouchies. Do they hurt?" The little girl's childish curiosity got the best of her and Irina saw the sudden flash of panic cross the grandmother's face at the question.
Irina smiled at the small child, knowing how to deflect the questions having had experience and not quite sure how to give her the real answer to those questions without terrifying the child.
"What's your name?"
"Anastasia." The little girl answered proudly.
"Ah…that was my mother's name." Irina's eyes danced with light and the others in the elevator car watched the interaction with utter fascination, completely enchanted with Irina. "It's a beautiful name. You should be very proud."
"I am. My Mama named me after the Grand Duchess Anastasia. Was your Mama named after her, too?" The little girl with the blonde ringlets asked innocently, having no idea of the correlation between Irina and her mother in terms that a six year old would understand.
"Sort of." Irina smiled widely, shaking her head and chuckling softly as did numerous other passengers on the car. "The Grand Duchess Anastasia…was my mother." Irina answered her softly and the little girls eyes went wide again and the elevator stopped on the NICU floor, the doors opened and Irina dropped a quick kiss to the little girls head. "Take care of your baby brother, Anastasia. I know you'll be a great Big Sister." She smiled and stepped forward out of the doors.
"And you Empress, take care…and give your gorgeous baby a kiss from all of Russia." The old woman smiled with unshed tears in her eyes.
"I will. Thank you." Irina smiled, feeling her own tears prickling at the out pouring of love from 'her people' for her family.
Carefully, she glided down the hallway with determination and many stopped and stared and blinked unbelievingly as she passed.
"Lena Bristow, please." Irina asked softly and pushed her hair behind her ear nervously again as she stood at the nurse's station; having no idea which Pod, her baby was in.
"The Grand Duchess is in Pod 4, Your Highness." The flabbergasted nurse finally managed to answer. "I'll take you down there." She looked at Irina's slightly pale appearance and concern immediately flooded her. The last they'd heard, the Tsar was still in a coma in the ICU and now here she was standing before them, IV pole in hand and no one with her.
"Thank you." Irina gave her and the rest of the stunned nurses a small smile as the young nurse came around the corner and took hold of Irina's arm, guiding her by the elbow.
She guided her down the hall and into the Pod containing her daughter and smiled when she the first thing she saw was Julian sleeping in the rocking chair beside the plastic incubator.
"Lena." She breathed out softly, her voice catching with emotion and tears pooling in her eyes instantly as the nurse guided her closer, her own heart breaking seeing the reunion between mother and child.
Irina stood by the side of the plastic enclosure as tears cascaded down her face and dripped from her chin with relief seeing her baby alive and breathing. The relief quickly turned to anguish at seeing her condition, the heavy cast and elastic band holding her other arm rigidly against her little body. The bandages over her cuts and bites, the pads over her little eyes, the tubes coming out of her tiny nose and taped to her face, the IV in her little head and the entirely 'too straight' position Lena was sleeping in, completely unnatural and the absolutely devastating tiny hand. She gasped in relief to see that two of her fingers had been reattached and sobbed at seeing the littlest was lost.
Irina's body was aching for her baby and upon seeing her, the sensation only increased. It had been over a week since she had been able to nurse her baby girl, hold her in her arms.
"You can touch her if you'd like." The nurse spoke quietly to Irina, not wanting to wake the young blonde man who had stayed by the baby's side all night, keeping vigil and only just recently falling asleep.
Irina nodded, flashing a quick smile at the nurse as tears coursed continuously down her cheeks. Her hand was shaking when she slipped it inside the warm space and touched her baby's skin for the first time. A fresh round of tears springing to her eyes and she inhaled a shaky breath trying not to sob with the overload of emotions the simple contact made.
"Why are her eyes covered?" Irina whispered quietly, gently brushing her finger over her baby's cheek, realizing that Lena was not moving at all or waking with the touch, her alarm bells immediately going off now thinking about the baby's unnatural position.
"The doctor has kept her in an induced coma since her arrival. Trying to give her time to heal. She has a broken clavicle and the only way for it to heal is to lie completely still, which is why her arm is held against her body. That's very difficult for a baby to do and with her already diminished strength the doctor felt it best that he induce a coma and take away the added stress being awake and in such a position would cause the baby. Her eyes are covered to protect her from the constant light." The nurse explained to Irina gently, her heart continuously breaking for her seeing the fresh waves of tears rolling off Irina's battered face while she heard the damage to her baby. "The little Grand Duchess is making excellent progress though and she's been getting stronger and stronger everyday. The doctor slowly started pulling her out of the coma just this morning he backed off on the medication." She smiled warmly at Irina, giving her some good news. "Babies bones are extremely fragile but they also heal very quickly and Lena's bones are already set and starting to fuse back together. It will probably take a full six weeks to heal over entirely, both the clavicle and humorous. She'll have her arm X-rayed and re-casted every week until then so that the doctors can make certain it's healing properly. And Dr. Kuzhnetzov says her fingers are healing beautifully and should also be healed in 4-6 weeks, though she will likely require further surgeries down the road for mobility."
Irina was surprised to hear that her surgeon had worked on Lena and also grateful that he managed to save at least two of her tiny fingers. She nodded her head slowly, to acknowledge that she was listening though her heart was shattering over and over with every breath Lena took, every glance at a new mark on her tiny baby skin. Her guilt was washing over her like a tidal wave and she couldn't stop it. "Can I hold her?" She turned her head and begged the young nurse quietly. "Please…I need to hold her. Please?"
"I'm sorry, Your Highness, but I can't remove her from the incubator until it has been approved by the doctor." The nurse delivered more bad news and felt like she'd been kicked in the gut watching Irina's anguish over not being able to hold her baby in her arms. "I'll page him. Tell him that you're awake now and you want to hold her. I'm sure he'll agree with me…" She smiled, squeezing Irina's hands lightly and noticing the Tsars wrapped wrists, her mind suddenly flashing to the 'what happened to her while she was kidnapped?' before quickly flashing back to the present. "That the best thing for Lena now, is to feel her mother's love."
"Thank you." Irina wiped futilely at her fallen tears and smiled softly at the nurse before glancing over at Julian.
"He's been here all night. Poor guy only just recently fell asleep. He looked so exhausted, though, he was maintaining quite an extensive conversation with the baby throughout the night." The nurse smiled and Irina raised her eyebrow surprised and studied him curiously, wondering what he had been saying to Lena. "Who is he if you don't mind my asking?"
"Her big brother Julian." Irina smiled happily, feeling overjoyed even in this terrible situation that her family was finally coming together.
"I wasn't aware you had a son, Your Highness." The nurse looked from him to Irina with wide-eyes.
"It's a long story, but he is my son now. I've raised him since he was a very little boy." Irina kept her eyes on Sark and noticed how innocent he looked in sleep, like that same little boy she would watch sleeping from the doorway so many nights, so long ago. He must be completely exhausted to sleep so soundly amidst all this commotion, she realized.
"Well, he seems very special." The young woman smiled, thinking to herself that he was pretty darn cute too, "And he seems like an excellent big brother, very protective. You take a seat in this rocking chair," She pulled it forward and softly guided Irina back into the chair behind them, "And I will get a hold of the doctor, ok?"
Irina nodded her thanks, her hand never leaving Lena's skin. When the nurse had gone, Irina's tears continued to fall as she sat looking at her baby. Her heart skipped a beat when she felt Lena's little fingers of her undamaged hand wrap around her own finger, like she knew her mother was there. That was the only movement out of the baby and she continued to grip Irina's finger. Irina finally smiled and wiped madly at the continuously falling tears, wanting so badly to take the baby into her arms.
"I love you, baby girl. Mama loves you so much. I'm so sorry…I'm so sorry." She cried softly rubbing her thumb softly over the baby's tiny fingers.
A few minutes later the nurse returned smiling madly. "He agreed. We can take her out. You can hold her." Her smiled widened when she saw Irina's sharp intake of breath before her own smile appeared watching the nurse unhook the incubators latches.
Carefully, she moved Lena's tubes and removed the soft pads covering the baby's eyes and picked her up like she was handling ancient China, placing her against Irina's chest so that her arm was still immobile but comfortable and her little broken arm was bent at a 90 degree angle up around her face with the positioning of the cast.
Irina's warm tears dripped into Lena's soft hair as she gently held the baby, afraid to move and hurt her further while the nurse straightened out the mess of tubes and wires that were coming out of Lena everywhere. When they were finally settled into a comfortable position, the nurse took a step back and smiled at them. Irina felt the heavy weight of her baby's casted arm against her chest but her little body, radiated warmth. One of Irina's hands was protectively across her naked back while the other supported her little bum, she had tucked Lena's legs up under her, as Lena had always done naturally on her own. She leaned her cheek down to rest against her soft dark hair and she closed her eyes, just relishing in the moment of holding her again.
"I'll get a blanket for you." The nurse smiled and stepped away from them, returning seconds later with a white, pink and blue stripped blanket and little beanie cap for Lena's head. "She's been kept so warm inside the incubator, I don't want her to go through any shock at the sudden loss of heat." She explained to Irina as she put the cute little hat normally adorning newborns heads, on Lena. The little blanket was spread over Lena so that just her little head poked out lying on her mother's chest.
"See, look at that." The nurse pointed to Lena's monitors with a smile. "She's already improving just by you holding her. Mama was just what she needed." Her smile only grew as she took down the improving stats and Irina smiled as well, humming softly the Russian Lullaby in her baby's ear as she rocked her.
The nurse glanced over at Irina's IV stand and noticed the readings of blood glucose on her insulin pump. They were reading at 420. Very high, dangerously so... meaning Irina was still very sick even if she was hiding it well.
"You're not supposed to be down here are you, Empress?" The young woman arched her own eyebrow at Irina in realization with fear suddenly striking her own heart at the danger Irina was still in.
Irina's enchanting eyes and enigmatic smile looked up at the woman and shrugged slightly, obviously guilty.
The nurse swallowed her fear and just chuckled, deciding she wasn't about to rat out the Tsar for escaping her floor because she wanted to see her baby. She smiled at the beautiful pair before returning to her station where all of the nurses and doctors were watching Irina and baby from across the room, all fascinated by her interactions with her child, their hearts soaring with love and respect for the gorgeous battered woman who was going to be the official 'Mother' of their country and it was only fitting, watching her now with her own child they decided. The obvious love and strength she possessed was captivating.
Somewhere in the foggy dreams Sark was having he heard soft humming of a familiar tune he couldn't quite place and slowly it roused him awake. His eyes lazily fluttered and then flew open when he saw Irina sitting across from him, rocking Lena and humming while she smiled at him.
"Irina?" He rubbed the remaining sleep from his eyes, surprised to see her awake and sitting right in front of him. "You're awake." He'd gone to sleep this morning and she was upstairs in a coma and he'd awoken and she sat before him, rocking her baby and humming, he couldn't believe it.
Irina saw his surprise and her smile only grew watching him wake up as she rubbed soft circles over Lena's back.
"Good morning, Julian." She paused in her humming just long enough to greet him, then resumed right where she was.
"Good morning." He answered still in shock before a small smile lit his face. 'She was ok.' He breathed a sigh of relief, witnessing yet again, Irina's ability to bounce back. "And Lena is out of her incubator." His smile grew seeing the little baby's head against Irina's chest and swaddled under a soft baby's blanket. "Today is a good day."
Sydney in her wheelchair, pushed by Vaughn, entered Irina's room to find Jack sleeping face down on her bed while sitting in the chair beside it, but Irina was no where in sight. Sydney immediately panicked seeing the empty bed. Last night she'd gone to sleep and her mother was in a coma but getting better and now she was staring at an empty bed.
"Dad!" She called out loudly and Jack jumped from his sleep, looking around momentarily confused, "Where's Mom?"
Jack's eyes darted to the bed in front of him and went wide when he saw it was empty the sheets thrown back and his wife no where in sight.
"I don't know!" He stood suddenly, his heart pounding.
"What do you mean, you don't know? How can a comatose patient just disappear?" Sydney's own confusion fogging her brain while her heart raced.
"She's not comatose anymore." Jack looked at her suddenly, "She woke up last night in the middle of the night."
"She did?" Sydney gasped surprised and then immediately upset no one came to tell her. "Why didn't you come get me, tell me she was awake?!"
"It was the middle of the night, Sydney. You were sleeping and we wanted your mother to go back to sleep which was hard enough to accomplish as she was adamant about seeing you and Lena...Lena!" He gasped as sudden realization flashed across his face. "She must have gone to the NICU to see your sister." His eyes taking in the room, noticing her IV pole was gone and the hospital gown lying on the edge of the bed.
"Mr. Bristow," The nurse on duty came in hearing the commotion, "What's going on?" Her eyes immediately noticed the empty bed. "Where's the Empress?" She asked obviously concerned.
"You mean, you didn't know she left?" Jack immediately flew towards the door. "No one went with her?" He shook his head, upset at himself for sleeping through her escape, the staff and Irina and her stubbornness.
"Where? Where did she go by herself? We never saw her leave." The nurse tried to ask and answer sounding panicked. "We would have seen her leave!"
"She was a spy! She's very good at escaping right under people's noses!" Jack answered, knowing that his wife was good at escaping, especially when she was determined. "She went down to the NICU to see the baby, I'd bet my life on it. We wouldn't let her go last night so she decided to go without us. I should've known…you can't just tell her 'no." His flash of panic now mixed with amusement as was Sydney and Vaughn's.
The nurse was still looking stunned and panicked at the stealthy capabilities of the Tsar.
"Well either she changed into the gown that Sophia, Katya and my mom got for her, or she's running around this hospital naked as the day she was born." Vaughn laughed, amused when he picked up Irina's hospital gown off the end of the bed and Jack and Sydney both smiled shaking their heads.
Jack looked in the box and nodded, with an amused smile. "Yes, the gown is gone."
"Guess she thought that hospital gown was as hideous as I did." Sydney laughed softly at her unbelievable mother.
"But she just woke up from a coma…How in the world could she manage to get out of bed, change into a nightgown and escape all by herself, without us knowing?" The older nurse was still amazed and confused.
"Irina is a remarkable woman with many talents." Jack laughed softly, running his hand roughly over his hair, shaking his head.
"Yes, I'm learning that about her more and more." The nurse finally smiled. "That motorcycle pursuit in Spain was something else…Watching her fly over those cars like that. That was the first time we Russians had gotten a chance to see the Tsar in action…The amazing abilities of a spy we'd all read and heard about now witnessing it, was nothing short of unbelievable." She shook her head in amazement, "Doing it so gracefully in that beautiful red dress, like it was second nature." She smiled wider, "We're all so very proud of her and more excited to see her assume the throne."
"We are very proud of her, too." Sydney smiled proudly thinking about her mother with unspoken awe and admiration in her voice. "Let's go find her."
Just when they emerged out of the elevator on the NICU floor, they ran smack dab into Weiss, Katya, Sophia, Bella and Mikhail who'd just stepped off another elevator, all returning to the hospital for the first time that day. Last night having been the first time they actually left the hospital to get a good nights sleep.
"Jack, what's going on?" Katya asked with a hint of a smile, seeing their obvious smiles of amusement and lifted spirits.
"Irina escaped." He replied cryptically with another smile as they all made their way down the hallway.
"What?" Katya gasped. "How?"
"She woke last night in the middle of the night." He smiled happily, "And was determined to see her girls. We told her they were sleeping and she needed to rest. But this is Irina we're talking about and when we told her 'no' that only encouraged her more it seems as I just woke and she was gone from her bed. No one saw her leave."
"Then how do you know she's here?" Katya asked alarmed, not hearing him say they'd found Irina for sure.
"I just know." Jack smiled, knowing his heart, which was Irina's and then pointed through the glass windows on the doors to Irina's long Chestnut waves of hair and back as she sat in the rocking chair at the far end of the room behind the doors. "See." He pointed obviously amused and it was good to see Jack smile for the first time in more then a week.
"And she has the nightgown on." Sophia smiled pleased at her Aunt.
"Oh I can't wait to hug her and hold her and kiss her manically for scaring me to death! AGAIN!" Katya smiled already wiping at her happy tears and everyone chuckled at the emphasis on 'again.'
"I'll go in and get her." Jack smiled, kissing Katya's cheek as she stood beside him and then winked at Sydney before disappearing happily behind the doors of the NICU.
"Wow, he's happy." Weiss smiled, wrapping his arms around Sophia's shoulders from behind, the two of them definitely a couple now.
"Irina's awake, Sydney's safe and they are bringing Lena out of her coma today…I'd say he has a very good reason to be happy today." Mikhail smiled, happy for his friends.
Jack walked quietly up behind Irina and caught Sark's smiling eyes. Sark stood immediately as Jack approached, knowing he would have to leave as they were only allowed two in Lena's room at a time.
Jack noticed the empty incubator before he closed in on Irina and his heart fluttered with anticipation then thundered with joy when he saw his baby girl nestled against her Mama's chest.
"Hey, you Little Houdini." Jack smiled catching Irina's eyes and dropping a quick kiss to her lips and then Lena's little head. "Your disappearing act scared me when I woke up and you weren't there. Why didn't you wake me?"
"Because you looked so cute sleeping and I know you're exhausted, Jack…you needed the sleep." Irina spoke quietly with a smile, as he stroked the side of her head again, holding her face in one hand so lovingly. "And…I knew you and everyone else would try to stop me." Her smile turned mischievous and both Jack and Sark chuckled.
"Yes, you're right. We would have tried to stop you because you're still far too ill to be running around the hospital. Did you look over here at your numbers by any chance?" He teased her, pointing with his eyes to her insulin pump showing her current blood sugar levels. "410, Irina…that's still way too high. You're very sick and need to be in bed."
"Yes, I know…but its better then the 420 it was a half hour ago." She smiled challenging him as she nuzzled the baby's head softly. "And it is going down."
"Irina..." Jack sighed, shaking his head.
"Jack, I'm not doing anything strenuous. I'm just sitting here rocking our baby girl and talking to Julian. I'm not jumping off buildings or running marathon sprints, all right?" She reached out and covered his hand with her own, smiling and clasping his fingers, searching his eyes for understanding. "I needed to see her. I needed to hold her. I needed to make sure for myself…that she was ok."
Jack looked into her big brown doe eyes that had always entranced and captivated his heart, seeing the same desperation he'd seen last night and nodded, understanding why she had to be near their baby.
"And Lena's been continuously improving since being placed in her mother's arms." Sark smiled, speaking softly looking at Irina with adoration and admiration. "It would seem, that they are both good for each other's health as they both continue to improve in one another's company."
"I knew all she needed was her Mama's love." Jack smiled, speaking softly as well, his eyes looking into Irina's before dropping another quick kiss to her lips that even made Sark smile wider.
"I'll go now." Sark moved towards the door.
"Julian, wait." Irina called after him softly, and he turned around to face her. "Come here, please." She waved him towards her with her fingers, still resting on Lena's back. Jack took a step back to give them space with mild curiosity as Sark stood timidly before his wife.
"Closer." She beckoned Sark with a smile seeing his apprehension. When he stood before her, she motioned for him to squat down in front of her so they were eye level. "Thank you, for everything. For helping me find Sloane. For rescuing Sydney and I from Cuvee," She almost choked on her words, trying to keep her emotions at bay, "And for being such a good big brother to Lena…that I always knew you would." She reached out and brushed his face tenderly with her fingers and watched as Sark's eyes pooled with tears though he tried desperately to blink them back.
"Irina, you don't-" He stopped abruptly when she silenced him with a finger to his lips and smile, catching his surprise.
"Yes, I do have to thank you…and tell you that I love you, Julian." She released her finger from his lips with a dangerously loving smile that reached her eyes and Sark's heart melted into a puddle at his feet.
A lone tear rolled down his cheek and Irina moved her hand to the back of his neck and pulled him forward, kissing away his tear and smiling as she held his face in her hand for a moment, just looking into his baby blue eyes.
Sark knew he had to leave now or he would start crying if he looked into her eyes any longer and quickly leaned forward, kissed her cheek and then Lena's head softly.
"I love you, too." He said quickly and quietly, looking into Irina's eyes before darting for the door.
Jack heard Irina's audible gasp and watched her surprise at hearing Sark's admission, overwhelmed in the moment at hearing the words for the first time from him. She was his mother in every sense of the word and had been for almost his entire life and just now, in this moment, Jack witnessed for the first time, the words of love shared mutually between the two.
Irina could barely breathe and a surge of tears ran down her cheeks. She covered her mouth with one hand and stared at a space on the floor, thinking about everything that had transpired between she and Julian and how far they had come. He was her son in every sense of the word, she couldn't love him more if he were her own flesh and blood. Her belief in him was proven true by his actions these last few weeks and she couldn't be more proud of him.
Jack knelt beside her, taking her hand that was covering her mouth into his and catching her gaze with a soft smile.
"That was the first time he told you, that he loved you…wasn't it?" Jack asked softly, still stunned and yet not by Sark's admission and she nodded 'yes.'
Irina had opened his mind to the young man and over the past few weeks he had seen what she had in him. That behind the tough exterior that was harsh and cruel at times, was an honorable young man with a big heart who like the rest of them, had hardened that heart for all these years to protect himself from being hurt…or least 'showing' anyone, that he'd been hurt.
"Somewhere inside of me all these years, I've longed to hear him say those words to me though I knew I didn't deserve them, I longed for them, and I feared them because I knew how he felt. What he'd been craving from me. Something I couldn't give him then." She swallowed hard, and Jack brushed her tears away as he listened. "And now that I've heard those words, coming from him…its like another missing piece in my soul has been filled in."
"You were right to believe in him, Irina." Jack kissed her hand, smiling softly as he held it in his own, and caressed the side of her cheek with the other hand. "He is just a kid in a lot of ways, too smart for his own damn good." He chuckled and made Irina smile, "But he is far too young to have given up on. I'm proud of you, for tearing down his walls and showing him its okay to love… to feel. Loving your family doesn't make you weak, it makes you strong." Jack couldn't really believe he was about to admit to himself and to her, what he knew to be true now. "He's proven himself to me, in Africa with Sloane, at home with us; watching him with Lena and then his actions over this last week. It was his quick thinking that led us to Lena," He smiled catching her surprise, "And Sydney told me that when the fire fight broke out during the rescue and the boxes of explosives went off, Julian threw himself over her to protect her without thinking."
"He did?" She whispered, in amazement and proud, her family really was coming together one step at a time, which gave her hope for the future of a peaceful existence. "You called him Julian?" She realized with a hopeful smile, seeing and hearing Jack's mind change about him kneeling before her. She saw that the once dangerous young man was slowly finding a way into Jack's heart.
Jack smiled having been caught and he shook his head. He had called her on the same thing when they were in St. Petersburg when she first referred to Vaughn as Michael when her opinion and feelings for the young man had changed; when he'd take up a space in her life and heart.
"Thank you, Jack." She smiled, and brought his lips to hers, so thankful for everything.
"I understand and I accept that he is your son." Jack pulled back, looking into her eyes with a wave of seriousness, after hearing and seeing the last exchange between the two, "But if he is your son…then that makes him in a way, my son."
"Jack," Irina gasped, unbelieving at what he was saying, was implying. "You don't-"
Now it was Jack's turn to silence her with a finger to her lips, smirking at her when she finally smiled beneath his finger recognizing her own gesture.
"I know I don't have to, but I want to. If he's that important to you, if you love him that much, then by default I'm going to care about him too…and I'll deny I ever said this if you repeat it," Jack quirked his eyebrow at her with a serious smile, "But the kid is growing on me; in a lot of ways, he reminds me of myself at his age."
"Yes, he does." Irina smiled happily, with fresh tears. Remembering Jack well at the same age and often saying to herself over the years, how much Julian had reminded her of Jack. "You're amazing do you know that?" She cupped his face in her hand, her eyes searching his intently with a tidal wave of love pouring from her dark pools into his.
Jack leaned in and kissed her again softly against her lips, knowing how tender her mouth was from her injuries. The doctor had to place three stitches in her lip, six stitches inside her cheek and eleven in her tongue from where she'd either bitten them during torture to stop from screaming or from Cuvee hitting her in the face.
"Your sister, Sydney, Mikhail…pretty much everyone is waiting outside to see you…to shower you with love, hugs and kisses." Jack teased her, brushing her chin softly with his knuckles. "Gathering how comfy the two of you look here, I know you're not intending on going anywhere anytime soon, so I'll start sending them in one at a time to see you, ok?"
Irina nodded, not needing words to express how much she loved him and his thoughtfulness, how well he knew her.
"But if our Little Peanut starts to open her gorgeous brown eyes, I want to know right away, ok?" He kissed the baby's cheek again lightly, and then Irina's lips, not wanting to leave them but knowing he couldn't 'hog' them from everyone else who loved them either.
"I promise, as soon as she starts stirring." Irina vowed, clasping his hand tightly in hers again with a smile, just as excited as he too see Lena awake. "Sydney first, please." She added softly and he nodded in understanding without her even having to explain. He kissed her again and headed for the door.
Irina needed to see Sydney, to have both of her girls within arms reach, to know they were all, alive, had survived yet again and were now safe. Her mind immediately began to flash images from the last few days, horrid images she had refused to think about until this moment and she quickly had to shut them out, compartmentalize them and shove them back into their box before she lost it.
'Today, was not the day to deal with them.' She said to herself and quickly wiped her fallen tears.
"She doesn't want to relinquish the baby," Jack smiled warmly, "But she does want to see everyone and would like to see you first, Sydney." Jack gave her a knowing smile and watched as his daughter tried to blink back her tears and put on her brave face.
The three of his girls, especially Sydney and Irina, now shared another connection. Something only they would know… another mutual survival that was only going to strengthen their bonds. Vaughn, as everyone else did, knew why Irina wanted to see Sydney first and gave his fiancée a quick kiss on her cheek and then lips for support.
Jack held the door open for her and watched as she wheeled her chair towards her mother and sister.
"Mom…" Sydney called out softly with a shaky voice as she came up along side her, wheeling herself backwards so that they would be facing one another. She smiled brightly seeing her mother's smiling face and her sister snuggled into her arms.