XXIII.
Almost Human
I can feel myself slipping, like falling down a drain; the slim clings to me no matter how far I fall. The grime of judgement, of false justice entice and smoulder before my eyes; power unmatched almost burns my fingers which I keep planted down by my sides in a weak effort to keep myself from reaching out with my azure digits and take all for myself. As hunger grows, another lurks deep in my heart...One of heat, animalistic in its disposition – I hate it. But who can complain of a person's very nature? Not I; the one who covets his strength.
Three weeks after Bane's liberation's kick-off and Lily had found herself willingly trapped in a routine; to her own disgust she felt a cowardly sense of self-preservation, she knew she wasn't quite untouchable but knowing that no one was putting her on trial, hunting her through the streets of Gotham or shooting her on sight was honestly the only thing that set her muddled mind to ease. She and Crane had set up an efficient way to work through the corrupt who would be judged by the good doctor; sentencing hearings.
Crane ruled that they would operate as a sort of kangaroo court, no witnesses would be called and no evidence would be put forth; it was all in mockery of justice, Lily thought, but couldn't deny that some of the slimy corporate bastards they lined up to escort to the Drop were not undeserving of their sentence; their pale, sweating faces blanched always at the boom of the Scarecrow's gravel while she stood to the side of Crane, unspeaking with a folder full of doomed names which she'd read out when Crane was done with his current culprit.
"Stryver," Lily whispered to Crane when he smacked the gravel down for the tenth time that day.
"Hmm?" He queried,
Lily moved closer, aware of the eyes which bored onto her throughout the room; all down the lists were men jeering, gutter rats, mercs, Bane's militia who were off-duty killing time by watching Scarecrow's show and far off at the back watching, always watching passively without comment or exercise of his power: Bane. Lily cleared her throat as quietly as she dared and leaned in closer to Crane, her nose twitching due to the hay that peeked out of one of his suit jacket's shoulders. The doctor turned slightly, a ghost of a smile on his tight lips;
"Another one for judgement? My, we have had a full day."
Lily nodded, "Uh, yeah. The next one's Phillip Stryver."
"Bring him in then,"
"Hold on."
The voice which resonated caught Crane and Lily's attention; Lily looked back and shirked, moving away sneakily, Bane shook his head and crooked a finger at her and she sloped over to him, away from Crane.
"How did you even get over here?" She demanded irritably.
"I want Stryver pinned in the coop for longer, to fully exact his punishment. Skip him."
"What?!" Lily hissed, "You were the one who said you wouldn't have any input-"
"Yes." He said quietly, "This will be your own input remember. Now, go."
Moving away from the shadows and Bane, Lily felt the brush of his coat as he departed as silently as he appeared and milled over to Crane.
"Well?" He asked shortly, ignoring the rowdy crowd baying for more judgement.
"Bane says we've to skip Stryver and keep him in the pen a little longer,"
She shrugged, "I don't know why. The next name after Stryver's is Collins, William Collins."
Lily had to really frown down on the lists of partially-memorised names and hope she was reading them right, her grasp of reading only now being dusted off after being forgotten for so long. She actually enjoyed it...when she didn't get stuck - because then she felt like a complete simpleton. In actuality, the way Scarecrow or Bane looked at her sometimes she most definitely believed she was.
"Very well," Crane said and motioned with his gravel to Lily, "Call him in."
A shudder ran down Lily's spine as she nodded blandly and stepped forward. She had lost count of the many men and women's names she had barked out up here for them to be dragged in and thrown down before these animals and then to be judged by Crane, the spindly scarecrow; her voice was the herald which told the many imprisoned privileged elite that their waiting, cowering and praying was over.
Now was the hour of their judgement and they would all be denied.
"William Collins!"
She boomed and the crowd came alive, hollering, jeering and threatening as an old man was harried in by two mercs who had gripped both of his arms. The old man, William Collins, stopped and held his head up; waving off the mercs dignified in the face of this travesty court and Lily felt her throat close as the man strode over to the chair before Crane, surprisingly spry for his age and swooped down on the lonely seat that was flanked by raving maniacs and before a neurotic sociopath. Lily actually pitied this man and frowned deeply when Crane couldn't silence the mob on each side of the old man.
Snatching the gravel from Crane's hand, Lily slammed it down hard and bellowed;
"SHUT IT!"
There was a falter in the din and Lily cleared her throat before daintily passing Crane the gravel back. The doctor took it with a twitchy nod; a look of sheer confusion covered his features. With a short nod in return, Lily stepped back and cast her brown eyes out over the room of crazies and felt she was the only sane one in the sprawling chamber, then her eyes fell on Bane; he was standing, lent up against a pillar fiddling with something in his hands, his presence both obvious and subtle at the same time. He didn't have the look of these frenzied idiots who all raised their fists and screamed out threats and profanities; he looked calm, serene almost. That's when Lily realised she wasn't the only sane person in the room; Bane was too and that only made him more dangerous in her opinion.
The trial resumed; Crane smashed the gravel down and declared,
"William Collins, you are accused of living off of the impoverished, standing on the shoulders of the small while you squandered thousands – if not, millions – on frivolous endeavours-"
"With my own money! Which I earned-"
"Wealth is not earned in Gotham, sir." Crane offered sternly, "It is stolen. You would know all about that I'm sure."
Lily felt her hands begin to shake as poor William Collins faced the inevitable as the Scarecrow decreed,
"Now; death or exile?"
There was uproar, commotion unprecedented which made Lily's ears burn. She did her best to ignore the drone of the many voices overlapping in a bid to shout the wealthy man into exile and she watched carefully for William's answer to Crane's impossible question.
"Son, I would rather die than have you moderate me."
"Well then, death it is!" He smacked the gravel down and shuffled some papers;
"Take Mr. Collins to the Drop!"
A roar of applause as the old man is hauled from his seat and dragged back out into the yard, still he held his head high, and Lily looked away; choosing not to see. As the noise died, Crane turned to Lily and said,
"What a day; you must be exhausted."
Pale and sullen, Lily nodded. Her nose reddening with emotion;
"He doesn't deserve to die..." She whispered forlornly and Crane's reply was cut off.
"They all deserve their punishment. You are among the few worthy of sparing."
Bane swaggered up lazily, his hands occupied as usual with a piece of string he kept twisting around his fingers. Crane unceremoniously packed up his things and slinked away leaving Lily and Bane alone on the altar of documents and files, it was all useless – who was looking for any documentation in this courthouse?
"How can you say that?" Lily snapped, looking away. "You don't have the right..."
"Oh? Don't I? It was I who raised you from nothing, Lily. I determine your worth."
"Lucky me." Lily sneered as she tried to sidle past the big man.
"Where are you going?" Bane asked conversationally.
"Ho- I mean back to the hotel."
"Ah, won't you go to the Drop. Witness your handiwork?"
"My handiwork?!" She shrieked utterly appalled, throwing herself away from him.
"It's your handiwork! Yours and Barsad's! I'm just a bystander-"
"Really?"
Bane demanded, his hand slamming against the wall behind Lily who yelped in fright as he closed in on her darkly. Her whole body frozen; she gulped and looked up at Bane who snarled through his mask;
"You're not a bystander – you never have been. Occasion upon occasion to leave, yet you didn't."
"What exactly are you getting at?" Lily demanded through clenched teeth,
"What do you feel, Lily?"
The question perplexed her. Lily gaped a moment before her brow furrowed,
"What do I feel? Well, I'm annoyed – for a start-"
"No." Bane stipulated with a shake of his head, his annoyance with her prominent in his tone.
"You float along hoping for salvation, liberation; I've given you the only measure of that which I could...Yet you take it without comment, without sentiment...What else can I give you?"
Lily bit her lip at his words, unable to understand what he was asking of her. With a shrug, she said;
"Bane...What is that you want? Gratitude? Appreciation? Everything anybody's ever done for me, they've done it as you have – controlling my every action without my say. Do you want me to smile and say that I wanted you to lift me off the streets? I can if you wish for me to, but who says I desire anything in the first place?"
"I would see you happy...Fixed..." He groped for words, his eyes averting hers.
"If you want my honesty, then you only need to ask..." Lily said firmly, and his eyes darted to her face.
"Speak then." He growled irritably making Lily shirk before he softened. "Tell me," He said in a more mellow tone.
"I will always be grateful to you for saving my life...You've given me so much. Before you came along, I...I couldn't feel anything but what you're doing isn't right. It doesn't seem fair of you to save me and hurt so many others. I say I never asked for any of this, but the truth is; all this,"
She said motioning behind him,
"All this intrigues me and terrifies me at the same time. You included. All I wanted before was a place to lie down and...Well, y'know? It was horrible, having no control; but I don't want this control you've given me."
Lily peeped up at him and his eyes were utterly trained on her, drinking her in seemingly, his head half-cocked, hanging on her every word Bane seemed to be trying to discern her meaning. She felt like an alien before him and sighed.
"Bane, I feel like you're trying to corrupt me. Why else would you have me at Crane's side every day?"
His response was quiet, thoughtful as though he had spent a while thinking about it. Taking one of Lily's cold hands in his warm paw, he looked down at her slightly blue fingers, turning her hand palm up he saw that the pink flesh was beginning to heal;
"I would never try to corrupt you. That wasn't my intent. To save your life, I need to make it seem that you are indispensible...To Barsad at any rate. The other men are foolish at best, fecund at worst – they do not care very much overly what you are, your role, what you are to me."
"What's so important about Barsad? Why does he hate me so much?"
Bane sighed and hefted his gigantean shoulders and slowly peered over her,
"Barsad is a man from another time, a talented one at that, he has seen the worst of corruption; his family were like you when I found you; complacent with their misery."
Lily scowled, listening intently, enthralled by Bane's mild tone;
"He is against tyranny to such a level that even the population's complacency and lack of apathy with their poverty infuriate him, I couldn't afford the hostility of my second-in-command to keep you around, but neither was I willing to part with you."
"Seems like a lot of trouble for-"
"Just you?" Bane cut in and shrugged, "I know. Your curio and persistence to know me and my motives amuses me, like a child pestering their elders for answers. I know I brought you on myself when I took you in..."
Indignation nearly choked Lily; forgoing the intimacy, Lily realised just how close they had gotten over the last couple of moments and yanked back her hand. A dark glare blazed from her eyes as she barged past Bane. Her sudden hostility provoked him almost instinctively and he grabbed her arm and threw her back roughly against the wall. Her grunt was muffled as he glowered down on her; the peacefulness of their talk before completely shattered replaced by animosity which radiated from Lily,
"Get off me!" She screamed and beat her hands off of his arm feebly.
"What's the meaning of this?!" He demanded while Lily regained her breath.
"You brought me on yourself? Bane, I'm not some kind of pet that you decided to rescue one day!"
Annoyance gripped her as she realised that that was exactly what she was like. The realisation only sought to frustrate her even more and she let out a shrill little scream before banging her fists off Bane again.
"Get off me! Leave me alone!"
His grip only tightened as his fury grew, which in turn made Lily shriek even more, his other hand pinned her wrist to the wall and his knee rose up into the fork in her legs, taking her off of the ground and effectively trapping her and rendering an escape impossible. Her face flushed with stolen lust, she gnashed her teeth and hissed dangerously,
"Let me down, you...you brute!"
"Why? You squawk so much you'd be better suited to sit on Scarecrow's shoulder."
"Great, so now I'm a crow as well as a pet."
Bane's eyes crinkled at the side and she thought he may have been smiling; she found his amusement infuriating and thrashed her legs and free hand around like a mad woman.
"Boss?" A voice came from behind Bane.
Suddenly Lily dropped to the floor with a jarring thud that made her yip. It was Barsad who spoke, his eyes big with wonder at the scene. With Bane preoccupied, Lily wriggled free and made a break for the door, shouldering by Barsad who quickly seized her arm halting her departure.
"Get off me, Barsad, I'm warning you!" Lily raved, her cheeks aflame.
"Bane?" Barsad queried, looking over at the hulking warlord whose eyes screamed confusion.
"What has gotten into you?" Bane asked, spreading his hands and Lily ripped her arm free of Barsad's grip.
"Nothing, I just want to be alone if you don't mind! Or do I have to ask your permission for everything?"
"Watch yourself, girl."
Bane threatened darkly, "I made you what you are – I can unmake you just as easily."
"Well," Lily smiled as tears stung her eyes at her own frustration,
"You gave this city back to the people; I am a person, and I'm going for a walk."
Throwing herself away from Barsad, Lily flew out of the room quickly so that they would not see the tears rolling down her face. When the door was slammed shut behind her, Barsad turned to Bane and asked,
"Shall I go after her? Or send someone to apprehend her? Bane, her insolence can't be-"
"Barsad." Bane said to stem his voice, "You will not change my mind on the situation regarding Lily, so let it go."
The merc's throat contracted in his anger but he remained silent until Bane nodded.
"Go, get her and see that no harm befalls her, people are beginning to recognise her face."
"No wonder," Barsad hit back shortly, "She and Crane are becoming a duo, a formidable double act."
"Puppets on my strings." Bane assured him stoutly and waved a hand, "Now, go quickly."
Lily had never been any good at hiding. Her annoyance had dimmed in the time it had taken her to get back to the hotel. Instead of going back to her room she asked one of the mercs how to get to the top of the building,
"How do I get to the roof?" She asked tersely and the merc faltered,
"Uh...the roof? Why?"
"Does it matter why? I just have to get up there..."
"Whatever, lady," The merc replied with a shrug and pointed at the elevator,
"Take it right up to the top; I'll radio the guys up there to let 'em know you're coming."
It was cold up here, Lily pulled her green coat – recently gotten from the filled chests in the hotel – she pulled it closer and huddled inside the thick material watching the horizon thinking about her situation. The sun was golden, bright on the edge of the skyline; the clouds all stained pink, purple and buttery yellow in the wake of the sun's descent. It was beautiful and chilly, Lily shivered and felt her tears coming again; she swallowed and buried her head in the groove between her knees and sobbed silently; hating herself and everybody who had put her in this predicament. She hated Bane.
She hated him.
"Souris?"
Lily didn't look up and she heard Barsad come closer, his footsteps betraying him. She heard him stop beside her and felt him as he squatted to the cold ground and sat next to her and looked out over the skyline of Gotham.
"What are you doing up here?" He asked carefully.
Slowly Lily raised her head and wiped her eyes while Barsad waited for her response,
"Just wanted to get away."
She answered shortly, her red-rimmed eyes overflowing with tears. Barsad shuffled uncomfortably and looked back out at the dwindling sun and sighed before he leaned back his head and closed his eyes.
"Bane wants you."
He said suddenly and Lily's head snapped in his direction,
"What?"
"He wants you to stay. He won't be swayed on this."
"Oh..." Her eyes lowered, "And that just makes you hate me more, I guess..."
She said bitterly and he smirked, his eyes still shut.
"I don't hate you. I'm impressed with how high you've managed to jump. But you'll rise no higher."
"If you've got anything to do with it?" Lily said knowingly.
"Exactly," Barsad's eyes fluttered open and he got to his feet smoothly.
"I hope you live to see the folly of your misplaced trust, souris – Bane will hurt you in ways you can't even fathom."
He extended a calloused hand to her and Lily took it cautiously and was hauled to her feet.
"Go back inside. Bane's asked for you, he'll see you in his room."
Lily shuddered and pulled her hand back,
"Good luck." Barsad said gleefully as he escorted her back inside.