The One with the Third Nipple

December 12, 2014

"Promise me that you'll say you saved him," Clint whispered because Loki was there.

"Why?" Steve asked.

"Because otherwise, it might make things...complicated," Clint spoke. "He doesn't need complicated right now."

Steve didn't completely understand but he didn't seem to understand a lot when it came to Barton, Coulson or Romanov.

"Fine," he agreed. Then, the door opened again and Tony, Pepper and Thor walked in.

"Hurray, everyone's here," Loki snarked. Steve could tell it hurt Thor that his brother didn't treat him as such.

"I'm not sure how restful this is for him," Pepper spoke with concern.

"We shall be quiet. I just want confirmation that son of Coul is okay," Thor spoke.

"How sweet," Loki spat.

"Like you even have a heart," Steve told him.

"Don't," Thor spoke.

"Some of us are trying to sleep," Phil complained and everyone turned to see him just outside his bedroom. He was leaning on a crutch with his shoulder in a sling and his eyes narrowed more than usual. Steve had heard there was a skull fracture involved.

"Sorry," Steve apologized.

"Steve was the one who pulled you out," Clint spoke.

"Really? I don't remember much after falling," Phil explained. "Thank you."

"Are you certain that's how it happened, Barton?" asked Loki with a grin. He had heard them anyway.

"Yes," Clint confirmed.

"I think that you're lying because you still have feelings for him and you know he still has feelings for you. Oh, mortals and your...problems," Loki spoke, smirking.

"What?" Phil asked.

"He's telling the truth," Natasha spoke. "Steve helped me out. He told me that Clint was getting you."

"You did that for me?" Phil asked and Clint shrugged. "You could have gotten yourself killed."

He limped along on his crutch in Clint's direction until Clint started walking towards him. Phil let go of the crutch and grabbed Clint's shoulder.

"That was incredibly, incredibly stupid," he chastised Clint. "Thank you."

Then, he kissed him.

"Aww," Pepper said and he saw her look at Natasha who looked a bit pleased as well.

"Success, now everyone can leave," Loki said.

"Someday, we'll find out a secret about you," Tony threatened.

"None exist," Loki spoke.

"Really?" Tony asked in his voice that Steve had learned meant that he took it as a challenge. This wouldn't end well. He made eye contact with Thor.

"Loki has a third nipple," Thor spoke.

"Thor!" Loki spat and was suddenly in front of him.

"It is true," Thor argued.

"I think we should leave," Pepper spoke and Natasha nodded. Steve agreed that it wasn't the best of ideas to provoke Loki. He saw Natasha kiss Phil on the cheek and whisper something to them. She didn't look back.

"This isn't over," Loki promised before shutting the door. Steve wondered what he was planning.

"No offense to Sitwell, but I hate not having you out there with us," Natasha complained a week later. She sat beside Phil who lay on the couch with propped cushions.

"I hate not being out there with you guys."

His face was full of thought. She decided to ask. It probably had to do with the Avengers or being back together with Clint.

"What is it?"

Phil seemed to consider his options.

"One year ago was my failed wedding. Somebody used a robot to get close to me and I still don't know who it was," Phil uttered. Months back, there had been claims of leads. She realized this was subterfuge.

"Nothing?"

"They had LMD technology and knew about Elizabeth so that narrows it down to a handful of SHIELD agents, past and current," Phil explained.

"Even I don't know about Elizabeth," Natasha pointed out. He was silent a moment.

"Elizabeth was a cellist. She played for the president and I asked her out. I really loved her but when I asked her to move with me to New York, she said things were too serious. I was busy with SHIELD so I lost track of her," Phil spoke. "She died about a year later."

Natasha was sure he was talking about events about a decade ago but it still sounded pretty raw to Phil. She put a hand on his uninjured leg.

Tony hated this time of year. He wasn't surprised at finding how much Steve loved it. Steve insisted on singing Christmas carols and putting up a tree. Thor had been intrigued and Coulson had joined in but the rest of them grumbled. However, right now, Steve was on his phone...again.

"Me, too. Goodnight," he said and hit the button.

"Who do you keep talking to?" Tony asked.

"Peggy," he answered. "It's so nice to have someone who understands me; someone from...before." Tony understood everything except Steve's girlfriend being really, really old. Tony hadn't talked much with Peggy. He'd just assumed she idolized his dad like everyone else.

"Steve, I'm going to show you one of the scariest things known to man," he spoke and took out the envelope.

"It's not a yellow telegram," Steve spoke with confusion. Tony shook his head and took out the invitation inside.

"This is a wedding invitation from Rhodey. He's getting married in two months. He addressed the invitation to myself and Pepper," Tony explained.

"How is that scary?" Steve asked.

"Because it's a wedding," Tony stated. Shouldn't it be obvious?

"Eventually, we all have to marry and have children for the good of the country and for God," Steve explained. Tony tried not to stare with his mouth open.

"No."

"You're practically married to Pepper. You should just make it legal already," Steve spoke.

"Pepper and I have an understanding. She understands that I hate it and never ever want to actually do it," Tony told him.

"Then, it shouldn't scare you," Steve spoke and left the room. Actually, it wasn't that at all. Rhodey used to be his best friend. Then, he got pulled into the Avengers Initiative and Rhodey was more and more involved with the military. Now, they hardly saw each other as it was. What if he got married and Tony never saw him again?

Phil was going to be happy when he was completely healed. As it was, he still had a cane so no walking very fast, much less running and swimming was wierd. It's also how he ended up babysitting Thor who wanted to see the Zoo.

"We can go anywhere but not the penguins. They scare me," Phil spoke. He wished sarcasm wasn't lost on Thor.

"What are those?" Thor asked.

"Polar bears. They're deadly. There's a placard to tell you more," Phil spoke, pointing.

"Can you ride them?" Thor asked.

"I don't know. I don't think so," Phil spoke, checking to see if that was on the sign. Then, there was screaming and laughter.

"Son of Coul, something has happened!" Thor exclaimed. Phil turned around to see that Thor was naked even though he had clothes a minute ago. He started to take off his coat and shirt to cover him.

"Any idea how this could have happened?" Phil asked.

"Loki," Thor answered. Phil understood being upset over the nipple thing but he would have preferred a less public retribution.

"I can't take you anywhere," Phil muttered as he helped Thor cover himself as they left.

"Ben, why don't you show everyone what you can do?" Clint asked in the common room of the tower.

"No," said the toddler, shaking his head. The blond locks were getting a little long but he'd never had a haircut before.

"But they'd love to see it," he argued.

"No."

Clint tried to think of something else.

"Look, there's Aunt Tasha!" he pointed out and Ben ran to her. Clint raised his arms in success. Everyone clapped and cheered which backfired. Ben began to cry and tears welled up in his blue eyes.

"I don't do crying," Natasha complained. Clint hurried over to him and picked him up.

"It's okay. Everyone is just so proud of you," Clint tried to explain. His son kept crying and he rubbed his back. "Maybe he needs a nap."

He carried him to the elevator. Jarvis put on Brahm's Lullaby and Clint resisted laughing.

"Shh," he told him. "They can be scary sometimes but they're pretty cool once you know them."

Ben was getting so big. Clint couldn't believe he would turn one year old next month.