The song of Love

by koukacs

[AU] Taichi and Yamato never became chosen children. Sora, Mimi, Koushiro, Jyou and Takeru were brought to the Digital World to protect it, but the place has a challenging History of conflict and hatred. The distinct world views of the children clash and they must learn to trust one another and their new partners. A journey of self-discovery unfolds for them. [COMPLETE].

16. The beginning of all things

No light.

No sound.

No heat.

Was he asleep?

Everything was darkness.

He did not feel like he was standing, sitting or lying anywhere.

He felt nothing.

"Go back." Someone said. He could not describe that voice. Was it his own? How did his voice sound like?

"You shouldn't be here. Go back."

Was that a different voice from the first one?

"You can't stay here."

"Go back, Koushiro. You don't belong here."

Koushiro? That word sounded familiar. Was that his name?

"Go back."

Back where? Was there something else beyond the darkness? Has there ever been something else?

"Go back. You can't be here."

Why did he have to go back?

"Go back, Koushiro!"

He didn't know who he was, where he was or who was talking to him. But there was a thing he knew: that had been an order.

Chapter 16: The beginning of all things

"The Spirit of the World?" Jyou asked, while the living carpet of fish took him to the border of the lake. Gomamon followed his partner and stood by his side.

"I've heard a few stories from Elecmon." The digimon recalled. "The Spirit of the World, also known as Fate, is a deity that created the Digital World. It's worshiped everywhere and there's this belief that everything that happens is decided by it."

"Fate?" Jyou muttered as cold sweat covered his forehead. "Could it be that Fate is the same computer program Wisemon told us about?"

"Of course not!" Gomamon nearly shouted. "Fate is an all powerful being that created the Digital World! It couldn't have been made by some perfect level digimon such as Wisemon!"

"Actually, Kido Jyou is right." The voice confirmed. "Billions of years ago, Wisemon developed my basic programming. But not even he could anticipate what I would become."

"But I thought…" Gomamon could not believe what he was hearing. "I thought that Fate had created the Digital World. Are you saying that you're nothing but a security system?"

A flash of intense white light blinded Gomamon and Jyou temporarily. When they managed to reopen their eyes, they found themselves in a completely dark place. A spark of light appeared in the middle of the air and began to grow quickly, becoming a white sphere that swallowed them. Jyou and Gomamon had to close their eyes once more. They could still feel the ground under their feet.

After a minute, they dared to look around and almost fell on their backs. The two friends could see infinite points of light around them, getting into agglomerations with a growing distance from one another. Gomamon was marveled at the beauty in front of his eyes. He had no idea what those little lights in the darkness meant.

"Galaxies…" Jyou commented, amazed. "I've seen this kind of simulation in television but… this is… it's so real…"

"Universes tend to begin the same way." The distorted voice spoke, sending chills down the others' spines. "The beginning of all things is always a small point that expands in great speed and then in lesser speed. The initial unbearable heat is dispersed and the universe gets cold. Life sprouts from every imaginable corner but let's focus on one planet."

From the middle of the cosmos, Jyou and Gomamon zoomed into a structure that the human believed to be the Milky Way. The solar system got close to them and then they approached a blue planet in great speed.

Jyou saw himself, with Gomamon at his side, in the middle of a street of a metropolis. The people passed through them, as if the human and the digimon were ghosts. They were so fast that their bodies did not seem to be more than blurs. The days and nights succeeded one another in a matter of seconds. The skyscrapers changed position and shape until, eventually, they disappeared. The metropolis was replaced by ruins, then by a field, then by a desert, then lava began to come out from the ground that seemed to be breaking in pieces. Jyou and Gomamon were zoomed out of the planet. From the cosmos, they saw what once had been Earth being swallowed by the expanding sun.

"The entirety of human history begins and is over in the blink of an eye." The Spirit of the World began speaking again. "The Digital World, a dimension that exists in the computer network created by human beings, lasts even less. It's over long before the end of the universe."

The far away stars began to come in their direction. On reflex, both the human and the digimon shut their eyes tightly closed.

"In the end, everything is concentrated in a minuscule point, which will then expand and create a brand new universe." Fate continued. "Not to mention the universes originated in different ways. When I was made into this, I found myself in that very starting point of a universe and had to wait until the Earth was formed and the human beings created computers, just so I would be able to inhabit the Digital World. I never created any world, but I molded them the best I could. I got better at it with time. The Digital World was the only plane of existence where I had power. But the Digital World always came to an end and I was expelled back to the ruins of Earth to wait for the universe to end and restart, so I could inhabit another Digital World. By my calculations, I have been, so far, in 362 different universes. There's nothing as old as me. I am forever at the end and the beginning of all things. You can open your eyes now."

Jyou and Gomamon did as the entity said. They both felt breathless and somewhat nauseous. Jyou had to sit down and take deep breathes for at least five minutes.

"What we saw…" Gomamon murmured. "All of that… exists out of the Digital World?"

"I knew in theory how the universe came to be but I never…" Jyou felt dizzy because of the experience. "That was too much for anyone to take in!"

A familiar laugh was heard. The human and the digimon looked in the lake's direction and found someone they knew floating a few centimeters above the water surface.

"M-Mimi-kun?!" Jyou said, astonished.

The girl smiled brightly and told him:

"I wanted to make you feel more at ease, so I chose the appearance of a friend." Fate spoke, imitating the kindness Mimi usually put in her voice. "I considered taking the form of a relative of yours but I didn't want to alienate Gomamon. He's fond of Tachikawa Mimi as well."

"Y-You can't wear someone else's appearance! That's disrespectful!" Jyou said.

"Jyou!" Gomamon hissed, nervously. Did the boy not understand that it was dangerous to talk like that to the Spirit of the World? The deity, however, laughed at the human's indignation.

"I admire your courage, Kido Jyou." Fate said, still in Mimi's voice. "Now, I want to help you even more."

"Help me?" Jyou was surprised. "Help me with what?"

"I'll help you to activate your crest, of course." The other replied.

"Why do you want to help Jyou?" Gomamon questioned.

"I exist to serve those who are in the Digital World." The Spirit of the World said. "I give them what they want the most, even when they don't know it yet. I decide everything that happens and everything happens according to how I've designed it."

"Designed?" Gomamon was intrigued. "Do you mean that you brought us to this dark place so Jyou would find his crest?"

"My planning goes further back than that." Fate informed. "I've even arranged for you to have an extra motivation to get that crest out of the wall."

Gomamon observed Jyou and noticed how the boy paled and his eyes widened. The human stood up, contracted his eyebrows and clenched his fists.

"The ghosts that attacked us…" The boy's respiration was irregular and his entire body was shaking. "The ghosts of Koushiro-kun's parents…"

"My doing, obviously." The Spirit of the World sounded proud. Jyou could not control his fury and attempted to advance against the other. However, Gomamon put himself in front of his partner.

"Jyou, did you forget that you're not a good swimmer?!" The digimon shouted. "Besides, what do you think you can do against-?"

"KOUSHIRO-KUN SAID THAT HIS PARENTS WANTED HIM TO DIE!" The human roared, looking down at Gomamon; his eyes were getting wetter. "THAT THING IMPERSONATED HIS PARENTS AND TRIED TO KILL HIM!"

"Jyou, I understand-"

"NO, YOU DON'T! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING!" A few tears fell from the boy's eyes. "Y-you don't understand… how Koushiro-kun must've felt… WHO DOES SOMETHING HORRIBLE LIKE THAT TO SOMEONE? FOR WHAT REASON?!"

Unforgivable! Jyou was still trembling with rage. Koushiro-kun was so scared! This thing tortured him! Made him cry! Shoved him into the abyss! I can't… I can't forgive that!

"Everything I do is right." The Spirit of the World stated. "I have seen all possibilities in existence and I elected the best one to come true."

"The best possibility?!" Jyou yelled. "IN WHAT WORLD TAKING THE LIFE OF A KID IS CONSIDERED THAT?!"

"In a world where that child wants to die." Fate replied with simplicity. Jyou found the answer preposterous.

"I've known Koushiro-kun for years!" The sixth grader stated. "He's a happy child with a wonderful family and no worries at all! He gets enthusiastic about anything new! Koushiro-kun would never want to die!"

"Really?" Fate had a malicious tone.

"I'm a problem to everyone!"

Jyou and Gomamon heard Koushiro's voice coming from all directions.

"What is this?" The human asked.

"Why do I still make my parents worried? I do everything I can think of to be a good son. What am I still doing wrong?"

"Izumi Koushiro's thoughts." The Spirit of the World explained.

"Am I not smiling enough? Am I letting something out?"

"Don't let them see your face now! Don't make them concerned!"

"Everybody is too kind to me…"

"Why do people still put up with me?"

"What if I mess everything up?"

"What if I let them down?"

"Don't complain! It's not your place to complain!"

"Be considerate!"

"You're not trying hard enough!"

"Don't be rude to people!"

"Am I being a bother now?"

"Am I problem to everyone?"

"Of course I'm a problem!"

"I'm always getting in trouble."

"I'm such a pain."

"I keep doing everything wrong all the time!"

"I'm such an idiot!"

"How long until everybody gets sick of me?"

"How long until they see they're better without me?"

"This is Koushiro-kun?" Jyou felt his heart ache. That could not be right. Koushiro could not have had those depressing thoughts all along, while he showed Jyou and everybody else a person full of joy; he was someone who saw wonder in everything. He was happy… he had to be! He was a happy and curious kid, right?

"You annoyed Jyou-san again!" Koushiro's voice began again. That dry affirmation made the sixth grader gulp.

"You're so stupid! Koushiro, you're so stupid!"

"Jyou-san is losing his patience again!"

"Why do you keep on doing everything wrong?"

"Why do you keep on irritating him?"

"Now you're making him concerned!"

"Why is he concerned?"

"He doesn't… he doesn't actually like me, does he?"

"What the…?" Jyou let out. Koushiro believed that he was disliked by him? How could he think that? Did Jyou not always do his best to help the smaller boy out? The younger child should not be able to misread his intentions to that extent, right?

"He despises you, Koushiro!"

"But he's so kind…"

"Out of obligation!"

"Of duty!"

"If it wasn't for that…"

"If it wasn't for your mother asking him to take care of you…"

"If Jyou-san didn't have such a big sense of responsibility…"

"He would be happy to get rid of you!"

"That's not true!" Jyou yelled. He could listen to the fast pounds of his own heart. "I care for Koushiro-kun! I want to protect him! How can he not understand that?"

"Jyou, this could be a trick!" Gomamon told his partner.

It would be good to believe in that, but something buried deep into Jyou's heart disagreed. It was like a little part of him protesting against the world view the boy put so much effort in maintaining. And when that part of him could not be heard, it found other ways to alert the sixth grader.

"It's alright," "I'm feeling great," "There's no need for you to worry about me," "Don't worry about that." Jyou remembered how often Koushiro said those things. But when he showed the older boy a little smile, did his lips not tremble subtly? Was not there an almost unnoticeable spasm on his cheeks? Did his voice not sound too low? And he looked so pale… Jyou had seen all that but he pretended he did not. He pretended to believe in Koushiro's weak excuses. But the twelve years old child felt his own body react against that. The cold feeling in his gut… the anger for not understanding Koushiro… the frustration over how different the other child was. Jyou knew. He had known all along. And yet he had refused to acknowledge that reality.

"I… I've never helped him at all, have I?" He felt like he was drowning in his own shame and closed his eyes fiercely. "Everything I ever did was to hurt Koushiro-kun further… he never complained… but I knew that there was something wrong! I knew it and I chose to ignore it! How could I? I'm so disgusting!"

"Jyou…" Gomamon could not think in anything to make his partner feel better. Even with his eyes closed, Jyou's tears made their way out and soaked his cheeks and chin. The boy's shaking was no longer the result of anger, and that realization saddened Gomamon even more.

"I have to think about the other younger children under my care!"

"Jyou's voice?!" Gomamon was startled, looking around. Jyou opened his eyes, in shock.

"Those are my thoughts… my thoughts from when…" The boy recognized what he had listened.

"It's true that Koushiro-kun is smart… although he's always researching pointless stuff online. He doesn't put nearly as much effort in his studies as I do… and yet he gets the crest of knowledge…"

"Koushiro-kun is ten! Sure, he knows about computers but… he can't possibly be knowledgeable enough to assist anyone in a project like that!"

"Am I… am I really like that?" Jyou asked nobody specifically. Did his thoughts regarding Koushiro always have that streak of jealousy? But it could not be right! Jyou was not like that… he was… was he actually a mean spirited person?

"Would you like to listen to the words you spoke?" Fate asked. Right after that, Jyou's voice came from all directions even louder than before:

"You need to become more mature! Otherwise you'll become one of those carefree guys who contribute nothing to society."

"Why is it so hard for you to learn better manners? Everybody talks about how smart you are."

"YOU ARE AT THE TOP OF YOUR CLASS AND YOU DON'T STUDY?! Good grades should be the result of hard work! You are telling me that you get them with no effort?! You can fool around every day and just study at the last minute and you still manage to get better results than dedicated students?"

"This is so wrong! It's unjust! He should be ashamed of himself!"

"I'm sorry!" Jyou cried. "Koushiro-kun, I-I'm so sorry! I didn't know… I never imagined how my words were affecting you… I never wished for you to get hurt!"

"Let's think about this logically. If this Homeostasis possessed Tentomon, he probably has killed Koushiro-kun already. And if it possessed Koushiro-kun, it's dangerous to even approach him!"

The sixth grader took a step back after hearing that. What was the Spirit of the World trying to imply? The boy had not suggested leaving Koushiro behind back then because he wanted the other child to die! But what if Koushiro… what if Koushiro thought that Jyou's actions were actually motivated by the older boy supposedly desiring to get rid of him? The things Koushiro had told him in Wisemon's carriage were now making so much more sense! "We are alone now, Jyou-san. You can just say what you really want to say. I promise I won't tell anyone." Koushiro believed that Jyou helped him just out of obligation and deep down despised him! And Jyou let that happen. It was all his fault! What kind of horrible person does that? Despicable… I'm so…

"Stop that!" Gomamon shouted. He could not bear to see Jyou's horror at himself enveloping him. "Jyou isn't a bad person at all! He might make mistakes but-"

"I did what I thought was right." The human's voice echoed in the cave again.

"Do you think I'm not capable of helping you? I see. After all, you're so knowledgeable, right? The super intelligent Koushiro-kun who doesn't even need to study to get good grades surely doesn't need help from someone like me, isn't that right?"

"What's your point?" Jyou asked in a weak voice, keeping his eyes on the ground. "I get it! I already know that I'm awful! I know that I don't deserve anything good! What do you still want to prove to me?! Isn't this enough? Am I… am I even more horrid than this?"

"JYOU!" Gomamon's voice finally reached the human. Jyou looked to his friend and saw how the digimon's round eyes shone with concern. Gomamon spoke with a ferocious voice:

"Jyou, stop being stupid! Are you really going to let that thing manipulate you?"

"Manipulate me?" Jyou repeated in low voice.

"It's true that you can be insensitive sometimes." Gomamon admitted. "And it seems that you have some jealousy issues you need to work on. So what? That's perfectly normal! Do you think I don't feel jealous at times? I mean, come on! I'm not very useful in my child form and I'm not great at giving advice or being sensitive! But I don't let that get me down! That's not a reason for you to beat yourself up either!"

"But the things I've said to Koushiro-kun…" Jyou protested. "I caused him so much pain…"

"There's nothing you can do about that now!" Gomamon interjected. "Feeling bad about it won't help anyone, especially Koushiro! While you're here lamenting your mistakes, the Spirit of the World might be harming him in some way!"

Gomamon's words hit him like lightning. He was right! What was Jyou doing, wasting time like that? Koushiro was in danger! I need to help him! I promised his mother… no… this behavior… acting as if he was nothing more than a responsibility is what hurt Koushiro-kun so much! I've distanced myself from him, trying to be a role model, trying to dictate how he should live his life, trying to be like a grown-up… maybe that was a coping mechanism. I felt inferior to him. He learned things so fast… everybody praised his intelligence… I let my insecurities take me over and lost sight of what was important. I don't want to be like that anymore!

Gray light came from their backs. Jyou and Gomamon turned around and saw the crest of honesty shrinking. The now little stone flew in the direction of the child's digivice and was absorbed by it. Gomamon felt energy filling him.

"Gomamon evolves to… IKKAKUMON!"

"Let's go, Ikkakumon!" Jyou had determination in his voice. "Let's go save Koushiro-kun!"

"Not so fast!" Fate forbade them. The image of Mimi appeared at the opening on the wall, where the crest used to be. "I applaud you for overcoming your weakness and getting your crest, Kido Jyou. Nevertheless, I can't allow you to go to where Izumi Koushiro is right now."

"Why not?" Jyou demanded.

"That child has his own darkness to deal with. He must face his self-loathing on his own and overcome it."

"Are you saying that everything you did was a test?!" Ikkakumon inquired.

"I might have difficulty in controlling lesser life forms with precision but I can certainly bring them death if I desire. If I truly wanted to kill that child, he wouldn't be breathing anymore. I'm giving him a chance to become something better. But if Izumi Koushiro doesn't get over his destructive feelings, he won't be of help to the chosen children in your mission to protect the Digital World." Fate explained. "In that case, it's better for him to die now than to become a burden later."

Jyou could not believe in what he was hearing.

"Who do you think you are to decide that?" The human questioned. "People's lives should not be valued by how useful they are! Life is a right by itself!"

"Izumi Koushiro values himself for what he can do for others." The Spirit of the World told Jyou. "For him, death is better than being a burden. I'm doing nothing that goes against his wishes."

"If that's the case, then I'll help Koushiro-kun to overcome that side of himself." Jyou promised. "I'll certainly… if I put my whole heart into it, I'll certainly be able to help him!"

"You can't help him." Fate conveyed coldness in Mimi's voice. "In all the billions of years that I've existed I've come to a conclusion: you can only help yourself. You can cooperate with others for greater causes. You can share as many things as you like. However, in the end, you are all strangers to one another. Everybody is essentially alone. Do you understand, Kido Jyou?" Mimi's figure walked in his direction, smiling. The image stopped two steps in his front. "You can't save Koushiro."

At that moment, Jyou had become sure of one thing: if Fate had taken Mimi's form intending to discourage him, the entity had made a terrible mistake. That was because, when Jyou looked at the face of the girl, he remembered something she had told him once. Something that would change him forever.

"I CAN DO WHATEVER THE HELL I WANT!" Jyou stated.

He and Ikkakumon ran, passing the image of Mimi and heading to the opening on the wall. The distorted voice from earlier returned and said one last thing to them:

"Let's see if you can live up to your words."

Koushiro had awakened some time before Jyou had gotten his crest.

The boy opened his eyes and found many heavy-looking rocks floating twenty meters above him. They had different sizes and shapes; the smallest one he could spot should not have been less than three meters in diameter. The uncountable rocks filled almost the entire sky, with few narrow breaches.

He moved his head to his left, slowly, and saw his arm stretched on a brown rocky ground. There was a wound on his flesh that was being closed. Instead of pain, he felt a warm sensation at the spot. There seemed to be a depression under his arm. He moved his head to face the other side and noticed a depression under his right arm as well. Thirty centimeters from his reach, he found his laptop inside the open backpack.

The child sat up, slowly. The pain in his body was diminishing and the warm sensation spreading. Koushiro stretched himself to pick up his laptop. The object seemed to be as good as new. The boy properly put it inside the backpack and put its straps over his shoulders. After that, he attempted to stand up. He almost fell but was able to stay on his feet, barely. The kid looked around. There was no sight of the bag of scanners Wisemon had given him.

The fourth grader glanced at where he had been lying and noticed a depression on the ground of the shape of his body. It seemed that the boy had hit the ground at full force. Nevertheless, there was no trace of blood on it or on his clothes.

"The healing water…" Koushiro murmured to nobody.

"Quite the inconvenience, isn't it?" The female voice he came to know too well whispered in his left ear. He jumped to his right by reflex. And he saw them.

The beautiful woman with long red hair until her waist and black eyes, wearing a yellow summer dress and the man with spiky black hair and deep black eyes, wearing jeans and a purple polo shirt.

"It's… so unfair…" The woman sounded as if she could begin to cry at any moment. "We were so close to having our baby back. But your body began to fix itself all of a sudden! After all that we did, why couldn't you just die for us?"

"Die for you…" Koushiro shivered as he pronounced those words. He saw the man put his right hand on the woman's shoulder to comfort her.

"My love, maybe we were taking the wrong approach to the problem." He said. "Instead of pushing him, we should've waited for Koushiro to join us by his own volition."

"My own volition?!" Koushiro refused to take that in. "That's not going to happen! I don't want to die!"

The couple looked at him with what the boy believed to be pity.

"Haven't you accepted the truth yet?" The woman asked.

"What truth?" The kid did not really want an answer for that question.

The couple took a step in his direction. The child took two steps back.

"The Great Spirit only gives people what they want." The woman said.

Great Spirit? Isn't that how Elecmon called…

"The Great Spirit brought us to this world to meet you once again." The man spoke with a large smile on his lips. He let go of the woman's shoulder and walked two steps in the kid's direction. "If you can see and hear us, it means that you want to be with us."

Koushiro took three steps back and found a wall behind him. He glanced around and saw that the same wall, that should not be higher than fifteen meters, made a full circumference around him. At his opposite direction, in a distance of at least thirty meters, there seemed to be a block integrated into the rock that had a different color: gray instead of brown. The child believed himself to be in a hole in the bottom of the canyon and saw no way of escaping on his own. If the rocks floating above were to fall, he would be buried alive.

"It shows me what I want to see… what I want to hear…" Koushiro thought aloud. Could it be that the Spirit of the World was real? He remembered the distorted reflection he had seen in the water of the well: the child with curly black hair and light brown eyes; the one with features similar to his adoptive mother and the voice similar to his adoptive father.

"We know how much you wished you could be their real son." The woman had an understanding voice. "You wished for that so strongly that Fate took the form of what you wanted to be."

"Fate takes on different forms and uses different words depending on the person." Koushiro recalled Elecmon telling him that.

"This is what your heart truly desires." "No matter how much you tried, you could never fit in. You never saw yourself belonging with them."

The voice had told him that. Were those things he wanted to hear?

"You will never belong with the Izumis." The man said. "You'll never feel like you're similar to them or anyone else."

"I thought that if I loved soccer, I would have that in common with my father. I wished I could be similar to my parents in some way." He had told Sora that not long ago. Koushiro wanted to be similar to his parents. He wanted to feel that he was their son but he could not bring himself to truly feel like that. The more he chased the sensation, the more it slipped away from him. He was alone. Nothing he did was capable of filling the void in his heart. The crushing solitude suffocated him. He was so different from everybody else. Among all the people he knew, he stood out like a sore thumb. He could never connect to anyone… not really. It was foolish to believe in that.

"Look at us, Koushiro." The woman asked, gently. "Take a good look at us. What do you feel?"

"I…" The boy hesitated but examined their features with attention. He recognized his chin and eyebrows in the man, and his eyes and his smile in the woman. Both of them looked like him so much. That feeling was strange and he did not know how to classify it. They had proved they were not a product of his imagination. But could they really be his parents?

"You could be a trick." The child's skepticism was weaker than ever. He looked down. "Maybe the Spirit of the World is trying to kill me… maybe that deity is tormenting me by using you..."

"An entity as old as time, said to have created the Digital World, is trying to kill you? For what purpose?" The man questioned.

"I don't… I don't know…" Koushiro replied, gulping. It did not make sense for an almighty being like the one Elecmon had described to try to murder a random human child like him. Back in the well, the voice had said that it needed to borrow his body, while constantly reiterating that Koushiro was the one who wanted to die. Could it be true that he really wanted that fate? I was the first one to leave the tree shielding us from the gear rain… I trusted the clown doll that Tentomon believed to be scary… I put my head in a portal to the factory dimension without hesitating… I let Homeostasis inside me and when I hurt the others I felt so guilty… so guilty… I wanted to… and when Tamaki-san appeared…

"How about, for a change, you don't head straight to something potentially dangerous?" Jyou had scolded him. He had done that so many times but Koushiro never learned. Why? Why was he always putting himself in danger? Why did he have so little care for his own well-being?

"You need to accept the truth, son." The woman told him. "You are self-destructive."

"It can't… I can't…" Koushiro did not even know if he was still talking or only thinking.

"There's no place for you in the life you've been living." The man affirmed. "You feel dislocated, different from everybody, alone."

"Alone…" Koushiro repeated.

"You cause so much trouble to others." The woman added.

"But they care for me…" The child tried to protest. "They fought for me… they worry about me… Tentomon even… in the factory, he-"

"Tentomon ditched you when you became too much of a problem." The man interrupted.

Koushiro felt his eyes getting filled with tears. He could not articulate any response to that and only denied the affirmation by moving his head, slowly. Or was he trying to deny the reality? Was he trying to hide from the pain? Like always. Fruitlessly.

"The first friend you trusted with your true self; the one you believed would accept you wholeheartedly, the friend who promised to be always by your side! Even him you drove away." The woman said.

The tears streamed down, washing his cheeks. His body trembled.

"With you by my side, I'm not so afraid of the unknown. If it's not too much to ask, please keep on teaching me." "I'll always support you."

Koushiro leaned against the wall at his back and let his body slide down, until he sat on the ground.

"Please, listen! You're the only one I can talk about this… and I need to… I'm s-so scared…" "There's nothing to be scared about, Koushiro-han! You just thought that you had heard something and then fell-" "Why are you doing this?! Why are you not listening to what I'm telling you? Didn't you want me to open up to you before, back in the factory? I thought-" "Koushiro-han! You would never jump! You would never do that to yourself! So let's stop with this nonsensical conversation!"

"That agony will never stop for as long as you live." The man whispered, sitting in front of the boy, who looked up to him. "Nobody will ever share that burden with you."

The woman kneeled on the ground, next to the man. She caressed the boy's face, murmuring:

"But you don't need to be alone anymore. You can be with us now."

I don't have to be alone… I… won't have to feel this anymore…

The child glanced down and saw the woman offering her right hand to him.

If he took that hand, would everything be over?

Before he could move, a scream cut the air:

"KOUSHIRO-KUN!"

Koushiro lifted his eyes and saw Jyou and Ikkakumon running in his direction. The younger boy stood up. The ghosts stood up as well, staying in front of him. But there was enough space between them for Jyou to step in and grab the younger boy by the shoulders.

"Are you alright?" Jyou asked, with little tears appearing in his eyes. "Gomamon reminded me about the healing liquid but… I was so scared! If you had died…"

"It wouldn't be your fault, Jyou-san." Koushiro tried to comfort the other.

"It's not about it being my fault!" Jyou told him. "I'd be heartbroken if you died, even if I had nothing to do with it!"

The younger boy was taken by surprise. At that moment, the spirit of his mother gently held his right hand and the spirit of his father did the same with his left one. It seemed that neither Jyou nor Ikkakumon could see them by the sides of the older child.

"Koushiro, let's get out of here before those rocks fall!" Ikkakumon had an urgent tone of voice; he was looking up at the floating rocks, anxiously.

"Not so fast!" A male voice spoke. Jyou and Ikkakumon turned around and saw a human child they had never encountered before, wearing a white jacket over jeans pants.

"He looks like Koushiro-kun's parents…" The sixth grader commented, staring at the other's curly hair and brown eyes.

"Who are you supposed to be?" Ikkakumon asked.

"How rude!" The boy chuckled. "I was with you a couple of minutes ago and you already forgot me?"

"The Spirit of the World!" Jyou's angry expression startled Koushiro. "As if it's not enough that you made Koushiro-kun see illusions of his dead parents, now you're trying to emulate his adoptive parents?"

"Jyou-san, how do you-?" Koushiro's horrified expression was not seen by the sixth grader nor his partner.

"I'm sorry." Jyou said, without breaking eye contact with Fate. "I should've learned that from you, Koushiro-kun. If only I had known before…"

"How do you feel about me now, Jyou-san?" Koushiro's voice was so low that he doubted the other could hear him. He was not sure if he wanted a reply. Jyou took lineage so seriously. Blood ties, ancestry, and Koushiro had none of those. He was a child with no past. Someone who clung to a family that was not his. Jyou should be rightfully disappointed at him.

Jyou turned around to face the smaller boy. The older child's face did not show any contempt or anger. Koushiro recognized confusion in that expression. And maybe sadness too.

"Why are you worried about how I feel?" He asked. "How you feel is a lot more important."

Koushiro could not reply. He did not know how to react. Jyou had spoken with a tenderness that contrasted heavily with his usual pattern. There was so much care in those words. He was not imposing nor demanding anything. Jyou was not judging nor criticizing him. Instead, the older boy was validating Koushiro's feelings with no ulterior motives, with no reminder of an aspect of him that was bothersome. The younger child did not know what he was feeling but it was overwhelming.

"Tentomon told us about your parents, after you fell into the abyss." Ikkakumon informed, glancing back at Koushiro. "He should be here already; he went to look for you before us."

"Did you say that I made Koushiro see illusions, Kido Jyou?" Fate asked, raising an eyebrow. "I admitted that those spirits were my doing but I never said they were illusions." The image of the stranger took three steps forward. It was now less than five meters away from the children and Ikkakumon. "What do you think, Koushiro? Are the man and the woman holding your hands right now your real parents or are they a trick?"

"Don't believe in that guy, Koushiro-kun!" Jyou said, staring at Koushiro with intensity.

The fourth grader glanced at the two adults in his front. They were smiling at him; looking at him with adoration.

"They want me to be with them." The red-haired child muttered, giving Jyou an anguished look. "They don't want to be alone."

"Koushiro-kun, they're not your parents! This is a sick test made by that twisted computer program! That thing is willing to kill you if you fail!"

"Test?" Koushiro asked.

"You have to decide whether you want to live or die." The Spirit of the World said. "Think about it, Koushiro. You can be reunited with your real family and never feel lonely again. You'll never feel like you don't belong. You'll never again bother other people."

"DON'T LET THAT THING FOOL YOU, KOUSHIRO-KUN!" Jyou shouted, grabbing the other's shoulders again. "Come with us! We can save you!"

"Should I… die?" Koushiro asked, weakly.

"What are you…?" Jyou loosened his grip on the boy's shoulders. "They're not you parents! Don't believe in what they say!"

"I don't want to be a problem." Koushiro told the other child, looking down. "All I do is cause trouble to others. I never do anything right… no matter how much I try to get better."

"Koushiro-kun, please, look at me." Jyou asked.

"Don't do that, Jyou-san. Stop forcing yourself to put up with me!"

"I'm not forcing myself to do anything! And I'm not doing this because your mother asked me to look out for you or because I was nominated group leader in the camp! Everything that I'm about to tell you comes from the bottom of my heart!"

"Stop wasting your kindness on me! Leave me alone!"

"I will never do that! Not anymore!" Jyou stated, once again grabbing Koushiro's shoulders fiercely. His determined tone made the younger boy look up to him. Despite his ferocious voice, the older child seemed to be in the verge of crying. "I will never abandon you again! I will never ignore your feelings again! If I ever say something insensitive, please, tell me. I don't want to hurt you ever again!"

"Don't listen to him, Koushiro!" The man said.

"He's going to turn his back to you, just like Tentomon did!" The woman affirmed.

"Jyou-san, you shouldn't make promises like that." Koushiro told him. "You don't know what you're getting yourself into."

"I can make decisions for myself." Jyou had no hesitation.

"Jyou-san, don't I annoy you?" The fourth grader questioned, despite fearing the answer. "Why are you doing all this for someone you don't even like?"

Jyou's lips trembled. He seemed to be pondering his words. With a resigned look, he confessed:

"From the day we met to today, you've annoyed me more than I can remember. I didn't understand your personality at all. And I was so focused on being responsible for you that I don't think I ever looked at you as your own person. You made me feel insecure… and now I realize that I did the same to you. It might be a stretch to say that I liked you but it'd also be incorrect to say that I didn't. The truth is that I never really got to know you, Koushiro-kun. And, until today, I had never put effort in trying to know you. But I think I understand you better now."

"What?" Koushiro asked, softly. Jyou smiled and continued:

"You're very negative and beat yourself up a lot. You don't know your own value and can be very reckless sometimes. I'm more outspoken while you keep everything to yourself but, to tell you the truth, I think we have a lot in common, Koushiro-kun. Because of that, I think that we could help each other, so we don't get overtaken by our own negativity. If you let me… if it's okay for you… I'd like to be your friend from now on."

Koushiro did not speak for a couple of minutes. He felt his eyes getting wet but did not care. It had been so long. He thought he would never hear someone say that. The most wonderful feeling took a hold of his heart and warmth irradiated from it to the boy's entire body. We have a lot in common. There was someone who understood; someone similar to him. Koushiro did not have to do anything. Nobody demanded anything from him. Jyou showed himself in his wholeness, wishing for a connection, and only if Koushiro wanted the same thing. He would not be simply a burden, but someone who could help Jyou while receiving help from him.

"I want that." Koushiro said, breaking free from the spirits who had been holding his hands. "I would like to be your friend, Jyou-san."

"You can't!" The woman protested, trying to grab the red-haired kid. But her hands went through him.

"We are your parents!" The man said, trying to hold the boy as well, with no success. "You have to do what we say!"

Koushiro glanced at them and noticed how the spirits were becoming increasingly transparent.

"My parents always tell me to be careful. They want me to stay out of trouble and return home safely." The boy stated. "They would never want me to get hurt. Now that I think about it, I don't believe the people I saw in that memory, who looked at me the same way my parents do, would want that either. I'm not sure about what you are but I don't care. You can't be my parents."

The man and the woman vanished completely, never to return. They no longer would have any power over Izumi Koushiro.

"Not bad." The Spirit of the World smirked. "You kids came a long way today."

"Do you think we're going to accept praising from you after everything you did, you… you…" Jyou turned to face Fate, trying to think in the most offensive insult he knew. "YOU DUMB STINKY FAULTY MACHINE!"

"Jyou, is that the best you can come up with?" Ikkakumon was embarrassed in his partner's place.

The Spirit of the World, nevertheless, laughed.

"Kido Jyou, no matter the universe, you are always hilarious." The entity said while the image of the boy it was using was becoming transparent. "But my favorite child is still to come to this world."

Once the dark-haired "child" had disappeared, the force holding the floating rocks ceased and they descended at full velocity. Ikkakumon ran to his partner, who pulled Koushiro into a protective hug, wanting to somehow shield him from the rocks. I'm not going to let you get hurt!

His digivice shone with gray light and Ikkakumon felt a great amount of energy entering his body.

"IKKAKUMON SUPER EVOLVES TO…"

Tentomon had gotten lost in the mist.

No matter how much he tried, he was not able to find his way to the bottom of the abyss.

What's going on? Why am I taking this long? The insect wondered. He let some sparks out but they were not helping him to see in the thick mist. Koushiro-han is alone! I don't even know if he's alright! He might be… don't despair! I need to find Koushiro-han! I need to protect him…

When was he ever able to protect his partner?

Don't cry! Crying isn't going to solve anything! Crying isn't going to save Koushiro-han!

Suddenly, the sound of thousands of heavy objects hitting a surface beneath scared him. The mist finally began to clear and Tentomon was able to see what he thought was the ground, hundreds of meters below.

When Tentomon was only five feet from the ground, he noticed the many different rocks covering it and the dust coming from them. Had they hit the ground? There was no sign of his partner anywhere and the insect's worst fears crashed him down.

"KOUSHIRO-HAN!" The digimon called, the loudest he could, as soon as he had hit the surface. The dust was setting down. "PLEASE, ANSWER ME! KOUSHIRO-HAN!"

He can't be… no… please, no… my Koushiro-han…

Tentomon yelled and punched the rock below him with all his might. He got tired quickly. The air refused to stay in his lungs and his vision became blurred.

"I'm sorry, Koushiro-han!" He cried. "I… I let you…"

The rocks beneath him began to shake. From a few meters on his left, a pile of stones emerged from the ground, as if being kicked up by something below. Tentomon dodged away from the falling rocks and approached the place he figured had originated the disruption. From a large hole in the ground, a huge gray digimon with a shell on his back, a horn on his head, orange fur covering parts of his body and a hammer in his right hand jumped to the outside, landing close to Tentomon. The monster opened his left hand, where Jyou and Koushiro were being kept. The children jumped from the hand and the large digimon, before devolving, said in a weak voice:

"Zudomon."

He became a Pukamon and fell into Jyou's arms. The older boy hugged him tightly and told him how great he had been. Tentomon had his eyes locked on his partner.

The digimon flew in Koushiro's direction and hugged him with all his force.

"How many times am I going to have to go through this?!" Tentomon let his frustration out of his heart, as tears streamed down his face and his body trembled. "I can't take this anymore! I can't stand it! How long do I have…? How long until I lose you for real?"

"What happened wasn't Koushiro-kun's fault." Jyou said. He was behind the other boy and his partner.

"Yeah! The Spirit of the World was making Koushiro see the ghosts of his parents!" Pukamon added, in Jyou's arms.

"The Spirit of the World?" Tentomon asked.

"It seems that Elecmon was right about the Spirit of the World trying to talk to me." Koushiro explained. "That entity has been haunting me since the well. I tried… I really tried to ignore the voices but they wouldn't leave me. And soon I was seeing them as well."

"I was so scared!" Tentomon admitted. "I've been trying to pretend that everything was fine but… my fear only increased! I've been living in a state of panic that only gets worse and worse!"

"I'm sorry, Tentomon." Koushiro muttered, ashamed. "I didn't want to cause you so much distress. I shouldn't have-"

"I've been in panic ever since the factory!" Tentomon interrupted. "Ever since then… even after I evolved… I couldn't do anything to protect you! I've only watched, powerlessly, as you faced a mortal peril after another! At the underground temple, I thought that those golden apples would make me stronger somehow… I was desperate to get stronger and to be able to protect you… but all I got was a horrific nightmare."

"The nightmare?" Koushiro asked. Was his partner finally going to let him know about that dream?

"Everything around us was disappearing… being devoured by whiteness." Tentomon related. "There were many pieces of glass floating and, on the floor, between us, there was the hand mirror you showed me in the temple, with no glass shard left in it."

Koushiro's heart skipped a beat when his partner mentioned the mirror. He saw that after waking up. How could he have dreamed about it? What does this mean?

"You were sitting on the floor…" Tentomon continued; his voice was full of anguish. "You smiled at me but you were sad. You told me that everything was going to be okay, and then… the whiteness enveloped you… I tried to hold you, Koushiro-han, I swear! But there was a voice that I didn't know… and it said: The boy you fight so much to protect will bring himself his own end. After that, you disappeared… I was left alone in the middle of nothingness."

"That was just a nightmare!" Pukamon tried to make Tentomon feel better. "It doesn't mean anything!"

"Listen, Tentomon." Koushiro had a serious tone; the kid hugged his partner more tightly. "I came to understand that, sometimes, I do things that put myself in danger. I wasn't aware of that part of me. But, trust me, I don't have any intention on getting hurt or worse. I promise you that, from now on, I'll take better care of myself. You don't need to be so scared anymore."

"I still can't protect you…" Tentomon insisted. "I can do nothing… I'm useless…"

"Don't say that about yourself!" Pukamon intervened. "Those things will only become true if you accept them as true!"

"Nothing is gained by drowning in negativity." Jyou pointed out. "Nevertheless, it's good that you're talking about your feelings. That way we can help you."

"I don't deserve that!" Tentomon cried. "After what I did! After I let Koushiro-han-"

"I forgive you!" Koushiro interrupted, in a calm voice.

"B-but-" Tentomon tried to protest.

"I've said already that I forgive you!" The fourth grader reiterated. "You explained what happened and I understand why you acted that way. Furthermore, you regret what you did. I forgive you, Tentomon. Wholeheartedly. Just like I forgive Jyou-san."

Jyou felt his eyes getting wet but did not weep. Instead, he smiled. There was no cold feeling in his gut to tell him otherwise.

"If Koushiro forgives everybody so easily, someone will take advantage of him eventually." Pukamon commented.

"Don't ruin the mood, Pukamon!" Jyou complained.

"Don't talk to me so rudely! I was today's hero, you know?" Pukamon taunted. Their discussion was interrupted by an intense light that burst into being in front of them.

"Tentomon evolves to… Kabuterimon!"

The adult digimon who looked like a wasp extended one of his hands to the red-haired boy.

"Thank you, Koushiro-han." He said. "I promise I will never run again."

"I know." Koushiro replied.

The two humans and Pukamon climbed on Kabuterimon's head and flew away.

"We should look for Wisemon. I lost his scanners." Koushiro sounded guilty.

"Wisemon did absolutely nothing to help us." Pukamon was annoyed. "He just brought us here to do a job in his place and endangered us all. That jerk didn't even tell us that the computer program he had developed was the Spirit of the World!"

"What? Seriously?" Koushiro was very surprised to hear that.

"I agree with Pukamon about not looking for that guy." Jyou said. "After meeting Fate, I'm starting to think that just because someone is older, it doesn't mean that said someone knows what's best."

"That contradicts a lot of the advice you've given me." Koushiro commented.

"Most of that advice was terrible." Jyou admitted. "You'll be a lot happier just by being yourself."

"What if I annoy someone?" Koushiro asked. The other smiled at him and replied:

"Although it's good to do your best to be considerate, you shouldn't do that to an extent in which you butcher your own personality. In fact, you shouldn't make yourself miserable to please others. I apologize for taking so long to understand that."

Koushiro put an immense grin on his face. Jyou noticed the younger child's eyes getting wet but was not worried about it.

"Thank you, Jyou-san." Koushiro said.

Meanwhile, in his carriage, Wisemon was watching the children and their partners through an object he kept inside a bubble. He was sitting on an armchair, sustaining the floating bubble with his right hand and a cup of tea with his left one.

"I can tell that you're watching me now." The digimon spoke in a loud and deep voice. There was no point in forcing it to sound high-pitched anymore. "You haven't tried to threaten me yet. But that's not even the thing that surprised me the most. Tell me, since when have you been on board with psychologically tormenting the chosen children? It seems that your sense of decency has rotted away as you've gotten older. Such a shame."

Wisemon was no longer interested in watching the chosen children. He was about to wave his hand and make the bubble go back to where he kept his most protected treasures.

"I'm excited for what the future has stored for us. I wonder if you feel the same, dear rebellious child."

He glanced at the unbroken white hand mirror with a pearl at its top for one last time, before the bubble in which it was being kept disappeared.

Thank you for the reviews. :)