"That creature burned itself down and from its own ashes resurged. No matter how many tried to destroy it, it would always be reborn."
Chapter 17: Heaven sent
Sora opened her eyes and found herself sitting on a chair; her upper body was leaning on a desk. The girl had no memory of how she had gotten to that place.
She looked at her arms, extended in front of her, on the desk. Her digivice was being tightly held in her right hand. The human stood up, pushing away the chair and glancing down. Her clothes were wet, which explained why she felt so cold. In the middle of her chest, there were small ice crystals that, together, had the shape of a hand. The girl was still wearing sneakers.
The child put her digivice on her belt and lowered her body, to better examine her shoes. There were small flower petals stuck in their soles: white, orange and red ones. The fifth grader then examined her gloves and noticed little cuts in their palms.
Sora stood up and looked at her surroundings. Even though the only illumination came from a faint red light from the window, it was possible to discern a few elements of that place.
Beside the desk, across from the window, there was a wardrobe that fairly resembled the one Sora had in her bedroom. In fact, the space she was in was almost identical to her bedroom, except for a few details. There was no sign of the soccer ball she kept in a corner of the room and all of her books were gone. Wondering if she would find a futon inside the wardrobe, Sora opened it and found someone staring back at her.
Someone with hair of fire.
Inside the wardrobe, there was a mirror bigger than the girl, covering the furniture's back wall. In front of it, Sora's soccer uniform was hung. On the base of the wardrobe, Sora saw a familiar hairclip that had the shape of a nadeshiko flower. She recognized the object from her early childhood: in her first day in kindergarten, her Mother had styled her hair using that clip. The woman had told the child that her orange hair was as beautiful as her Grandmother's, who Sora had never met.
That was the only time when the kid used a hairclip. From the following day on, she decided to wear hats. Her Mother disapproved of the idea and inquired if something had happened. Sora never explained her reasons. As the girl was informed by her classmates, her hair was not beautiful at all and her reddish eyes made her appearance worse. The woman should have known that. And yet she lied to her daughter.
The girl quickly closed the wardrobe, shaking. Those unpleasant memories were things she would rather expel from her mind. She marched to the window, opened it and took a look outside. All she could see was a dark sky and a weak red light coming from above. There was also a fierce wind that sounded like a cry.
She closed the window so fiercely that almost broke its glass. Then, she walked backwards, finding the bedroom's door through touch. Sora rushed to the other side and found a badly illuminated corridor. The light in the ceiling was flickering and barely allowed the fifth grader to see around her.
"Where am I?" Sora asked aloud. How did she get to that place? Could that be her apartment? It did not feel like her home. Was that a dream, perhaps? The girl leaned against a wall and tried to recollect her recent memories. Confused flashes appeared in her mind: a large mass of strange dark matter, Koushiro stretching his right arm in her direction with a horrified expression… Birdramon was there… then, everything became pitch-black.
"What happened? Where was I?" Sora rubbed her forehead with the points of her fingers. "From the beginning! What happened?"
Statics noise caught her attention. Slowly, Sora walked down the corridor and arrived at the living room. Unlike the one in her home, there was no furniture in the place. There was, however, a television in the middle of the room, on the floor. The scent of flowers invaded her nostrils and made the girl have goosebumps. If it was really the living room of her apartment, there should be some of her mother's flower arrangements around. Sora saw nothing but the television in that place, maybe because of the darkness. But the scent of flowers was getting stronger. Just like the presence of her mother.
"Absurd!" The girl dismissed her feeling. Takenouchi Toshiko could not possibly be there. If Sora was not dreaming, that place was certainly part of the Digital World. Her mother would not follow the girl there. The fifth grader stared at the television screen, which showed nothing more than distortions. She had seen a TV like that before, but not in her home. It was in Homura-san's base.
The interior of the base resembled a lot a traditional Japanese residence. The floor was completely covered by tatame, there were traditional paintings hanging on a wall in every room, along with a commode with twelve drawers. In each room, there was at least one ornamental plant, like bonsais. Some rooms had small tables with pillows surrounding them, and a sweet scent of incense could be felt everywhere.
Mimi had gone with Tanemon to a room, to change back to her old clothes. Homura had guided the girl and offered spare kimonos she kept in the drawers, but Mimi did not indulge in long conversations with the older woman. Sora assumed that the fourth grader was still bothered by the adult's violent inclinations. The younger girl asked to be left alone with Tanemon; Sora and Takeru agreed. Homura had said that she wanted to change to more comfortable clothes and assured the children that they could go anywhere they wanted, including a bathroom in the end of the main corridor and a kitchen three turns to the left.
Takeru wanted to go back to the first room, where the sliding door that served as the base's entrance was located. There were no pillows there to sit but the boy did not mind. Carrying Tokomon, the little human approached the commode next to a painting of a green hill; over the furniture there was a plate and an old sake set, with a jar and three cups.
"My Grandmother has one like this." The blond child commented, pointing to the sake set. "She lives in Shimane and is not a fan of new technologies."
Sora noticed how Takeru's expression softened while he remembered his Grandmother. The girl's grandparents had been deceased since before she was born, so she did not know how it felt to have one. Not desiring to let a topic that brought Takeru good memories die, she decided to engage in the subject.
"My Mother appreciates tradition too." She tried to imprint a pleasant tone to her voice. "She likes to work on her flower arrangements while wearing kimonos. She's an Ikebana Master. My Father is a researcher specialized in Japanese culture. He works in the University of Kyoto."
"Are your parents divorced?" Takeru asked, furrowing his eyebrows.
"No, they're still married." Sora answered. "He doesn't come home often, though."
"But your family is together and happy despite that. You're very lucky, Sora-san!"
Takeru's big smile made her heart feel tight. Sora made sure to smile back to him the best she could. Nevertheless, she felt a pair of eyes on her and turned to her right, where she found Piyomon observing her quietly.
"Is there anything wrong?" The girl asked, concerned.
Piyomon deviated her eyes from Sora to Tokomon.
"How much do you remember?" The question of the bird digimon came in low voice. The older child had the impression that her partner was avoiding a different subject.
Tokomon stayed silent for a few seconds, with an apprehensive look on his face. When he replied, his voice came out sorrowful:
"I remember too much."
Takeru's eyes became filled with tears and he hugged his partner.
Tokomon seemed to want to say something but stayed silent, shutting his eyes forcefully, as if he was in pain.
Sora hated to see Takeru like that. She felt as if little knives pierced her heart whenever the little boy showed that face.
In the present, another memory flashed in Sora's mind. Takeru was looking at her with tearful eyes. All the children were in a room with ten futons.
"I can go too!" He stated. "You can't leave me behind!"
"We agreed that we would have two people and two digimon per team. Each child would wear an earplug: one connected to the base and the other to keep in contact with the other group. And each team should have one perfect level digimon." Mimi tried to reason with Takeru. "Lilymon is the most suited to retrieve that thing. She can fly into small spaces and her hands are able to operate the container."
"Zudomon is well suited for battle, I believe. It just makes sense that the two of us should be on the team that will venture after Nanomon." Jyou explained. "Sora-kun can't go with Mimi-kun, so-"
"Sora-san should be the one to stay behind! That'd be even safer for her!" Takeru interrupted. "Either to support Jyou-san in battle or to assist Mimi-san to retrieve the orb, Angemon and I-"
"Your digimon is still a Tokomon, Takeru." Tanemon told him.
"He's in the same level of you and Pukamon!" Takeru protested.
"But it's simpler for us to evolve. We just need to rest and eat and-" Pukamon tried to explain.
"And why can't Tokomon do the same?!" The younger boy was losing his patience. "Are you forgetting that if it wasn't for Angemon, you would have-"
"It has been only one day since your partner died, Takeru-kun." Sora interrupted. She hated to be the one to remind Takeru of that, but the girl had to do something to make sure that the youngest child would be safe in the base. "Nobody here is looking down on your strength. We just think that Tokomon needs a little more time before going back to action."
Those words made Takeru stop arguing. He gave a guilty look at his partner, sat by his side, who merely sustained a sad glance.
"But I don't want Sora-san to…" The youngest child murmured, without looking up. Sora put a hand on his left shoulder and tried to comfort him:
"There's no reason for you to worry. I promise you I'll be completely safe."
Wait! Something had happened before that! Sora thought, coming back to the present. While Takeru-kun and I were talking about our families alone, Mimi-chan had come to meet us.
"SORA-SAN! TAKERU-KUN!" Mimi came running through the corridor, entering the room in full speed and stopping suddenly. Tanemon followed the fourth grader the best she could. The younger girl had an expression of pure terror in her crying face.
"Tonosamageckomon… in the television…" Mimi was not able to articulate her message.
"The Mayor of Aurora Town has been murdered. Babamon is speaking to the press right now." Tanemon said.
Sora had felt as if all air had left her lungs. Mechanically, she followed the other children and digimon to the room where Mimi had changed her clothes. There, a small television was on a short table.
Babamon was speaking from the Mayor's office to a group of digimon holding microphones and cameras:
"It is with deep sadness that I must inform you that Mayor Tonosamageckomon has passed away." She looked down, covering her mouth with her trembling hands. "I don't know how it happened… I didn't see the assailant… when I realized it, my dear friend was agonizing in my arms…"
Babamon sobbed and covered her face with her hands.
At Sora's left, Mimi stared at the screen in absolute horror.
"Vice-Mayor!" A digimon who resembled a small frog with a cornet called Babamon. "Do you think it was a coincidence that the assassination happened in the same day the chosen children came to Aurora Town?"
"What the…" Takeru gasped, at Sora's right, holding Tokomon. "They're not trying to blame us for that, right?"
"We're conducting an investigation to ascertain that." Babamon answered. "We all saw the chosen children with Etemon, known follower of the Queen who was in the middle of the explosion… it's certainly something we must check."
"Is it just me or she doesn't seem very upset?" Takeru asked.
"There aren't even tears in her eyes." Tanemon commented, darkly.
"She did it." Mimi murmured. Her eyebrows contracted and the girl began to tremble. "Babamon killed him, didn't she?"
"Mimi-chan, you shouldn't accuse someone without-" Sora tried to calm the girl down.
"And now she's trying to subtly put the blame on us!" Takeru added.
"Takeru-kun, hold on!" Sora was becoming more nervous. "Should we really be jumping to conclusions?"
"I believe they're right about Babamon being the perpetrator." Homura's voice suddenly came from behind them. When Sora turned around, she saw the woman standing by the sliding door. The adult was wearing a white kimono with stamps of cherry tree branches; her long black hair reached her waist. The woman's serious eyes and elegant figure reminded Sora of Toshiko, which was a disturbing feeling.
"What do you mean?" Mimi asked in low voice, not turning around to face the adult. Sora glanced at the girl in her left in concern.
"I've known Babamon for as long as I have lived in Aurora Town." Homura spoke in a cold voice. "She's been ideologically linked to the Uppertown since as long as anyone can remember and anyone smart should've guessed that she could never be loyal to someone from the Downtown. Tonosamageckomon's naivety is precisely what caused his-"
"Are you blaming him for his own death?!" Mimi interrupted, turning around. Her furious expression scared Sora. "He just wanted to bring all the citizens together! He wanted the best for the town!"
"He was an idealistic fool." Homura remarked.
"You criticize him for trusting someone from the Uppertown but isn't that the part of the city most aligned with the Academy?" Takeru inquired. "Your friend, Kanda-san-"
"Kanda-kun hasn't been anyone's friend since he started calling himself Gennai." Homura cut off the boy. "I don't sympathize with the Academy. I only help when the greater good is at stake."
"For you the greater good is the murder of digimon." Mimi's voice was uncharacteristically cold.
Homura smirked.
"Do you still judge me, kid?" The adult asked. "After what Babamon did to the Mayor, I hoped you had understood that some digimon deserve to die."
"I… I don't…" Mimi hesitated.
"So you want Babamon to get away with assassination?" Homura insisted. "Don't you want her to be punished?"
"Can you calm down, please?" Sora attempted to make the atmosphere less explosive. "We don't know for sure if Babamon really did that!"
"But if she is guilty, what do you think should happen to her, Sora-san?" Takeru inquired, staring at her with intensity.
Before Sora could think on a reply, the televised transmission caught their attention once more.
"This just in!" A digimon journalist who resembled a mushroom said, listening to something from a device in the ear. "We have information that a Kabuterimon was captured in Downtown, with two human children and a Pukamon! It seems to be the work of a mob!"
"Please, listen, everyone!" Babamon uncovered her face and stared at a camera. "It's extremely probable that the chosen children have murdered our beloved Mayor and that they might be planning something terrible for this city, but please don't lose your heads! Bring them to the Police Station and I assure you that the truth will come out!"
"It's Jyou-san and Koushiro-san!" Takeru was alarmed.
"The truth will come out…" Homura spoke with disgust. "Knowing this town's Police, those children will be made to confess whatever Babamon wants."
The implied meaning behind that sentence made Sora's heart beat rapidly. Without a plan, she rushed to the corridor, heading to the room where the entrance to the base was located. Piyomon managed to fly above the girl's head and block her path.
"They're in danger! Out of my way!" Sora yelled.
"The base is not materialized in that dimension right now." Homura pointed out from behind the children.
"Materialize the base, then!" Takeru urged Homura.
"Jyou-san and Koushiro-kun… if anything happens to them…" Mimi murmured in a scared voice.
"They have Tentomon and Gomamon! They're going to be okay!" Piyomon tried to calm the others down.
"The reporter talked about a Pukamon!" Tanemon recalled, next to her partner's feet. "Jyou must've found and activated his crest as well!"
"If they have a digimon who can evolve to perfect level by their side, that's another reason for us to calm down." Tokomon said.
"That's true…" Sora whispered, taking a deep breath. Her heart took some minutes to return to its usual rhythm. The mere thought of someone harming any of the other children was enough to set her spirit in fire.
The sliding door in the entrance of the base was suddenly opened and a tall figure covered by a brown hooded robe walked in, followed by Jyou, Koushiro, Tentomon and Pukamon.
Mimi ran in the direction of the boys and hugged them. Tanemon followed her.
Sora, Piyomon and Takeru holding Tokomon went to check if their friends were unharmed, sighing in relief at the realization that they were unscratched. Their embarrassed faces due to Mimi's show of affection were entertaining.
Homura did not seem surprised by the man's presence. He lifted the hood, showing his jovial face to everybody. His small red eyes captured Sora's attention.
"It was fortunate that I arrived just in time in this town. I was able to recover the boys and their partners right before an angry mob did them harm. 'Academy' still is a name that fills many hearts with fear." He smirked. "I hope you don't mind that I connected my travel base to yours, Homura-san."
"You can't pass up the chance to make a dramatic entrance, can you, Kanda-kun?" Homura sighed. "I assume you've heard about the crisis in Aurora Town."
"Of course I have." Kanda confirmed. "But we have more urgent matters right now. I have located the crest of love."
Right, Kanda-san! He had come to Homura-san's base! Sora was glad she remembered that. What happened afterwards? He told us about a digimon called Nanomon, who had stolen the crest… and that said digimon was in a pyramid… no, it was two pyramids. He said that he had access to that place's network and determined that there was no sign of traps or of anyone but Nanomon in there… and the crest was inside an orb.
"It's an object that has been used to capture digimon since Seraphimon's time." Kanda had explained. "Nobody ever returned from those orbs. I have done experiments on them in the past and determined that, if an object with strong connections with someone was put inside the sphere, the prison would be automatically programmed to target whoever had thought-patterns similar to the ones engraved in the object."
"Ordinary objects don't have strong connections to people. They can't be engraved with thought-patterns, that's absurd!" Jyou was skeptical.
Kanda, who was standing in front of the children and opposed to the door in the entrance room, smiled at the older boy, adding:
"This is the Digital World. Emotions and thoughts contaminate anything you can imagine. You should've realized that by now. Your crest has already glowed, right?"
"It's true." Pukamon commented, floating in Jyou's left. "Right before I became Zudomon, I could feel a burst of energy coming from Jyou… I could feel his determination and bravery inside my own heart."
"I evolved to perfect level too." Tanemon talked from the floor, one step in front of Mimi, who was between Jyou and Koushiro. "Mimi's emotions rushed into me. I could feel her confidence and her tenacity in me."
"There's something I need to discuss." Koushiro spoke suddenly. He was standing between Mimi and Takeru, with Tentomon in his front. The fourth-grader looked into Kanda's eyes and questioned:
"Do you know about the Spirit of the World?"
"That's the deity worshipped in Aurora Town." Takeru informed the older boy. "It's believed that-"
"I'm not talking about a mythological being, but the real thing." Koushiro interrupted. Sora, who was next to Takeru, had the impression that the fourth grader was forcing himself to talk about an unpleasant subject.
"That's just a story." Homura said. She had been listening to everything, leaning against a wall by the man's left.
"It's not a story!" Jyou stated. "It's a computer program developed by Wisemon!"
"It spoke to us and tried to kill us!" Pukamon added.
"Do you expect me to believe that a conman like Wisemon created a god?" Kanda raised an eyebrow. "If that was true, wouldn't he be king of the world or something like that?"
"Wisemon said that the program had developed a glitch and was not obeying him anymore." Tentomon explained. "I think he was scared of Fate… for good reasons."
The insect digimon glanced back at his partner for a moment; that action puzzled Sora.
"Does that mean we have another enemy?" Takeru questioned, not seeming too fazed. In the boy's arms, Tokomon looked down, with an expression that Sora believed to be of shock.
"I don't know what attacked you. But I can assure you kids that there's no such a thing as Fate." Kanda spoke in a grave tone that sent chills down Sora's spine. In a matter of seconds, his serious face was taken by a light smile and he returned to the topic he had started discussing right after meeting the children. "Anyway, I have a plan for you to enter the pyramids and safely retrieve the orb containing the crest of love and capture Nanomon. The orb shouldn't react as long as Sora and her partner don't get close to it."
"Why do you say that?" Sora was confused.
"Naturally, your digimon partner has a mental connection to you-" Kanda had begun to explain.
"But why would the orb respond to my thought-patterns?" Sora was afraid of the answer.
The man took off one of his gloves and showed the kids and their partners a tattoo that resembled a heart, saying:
"Because you are the bearer of love, Sora. Like I was long ago."
Bearer of love? Those words still echoed gloomily in the girl's mind. Back to the present, she stared at the television in the dark living room. How could I be that? It had to be a mistake! Love is the last thing I… I'm the least deserving person to have a crest like that!
Sora felt her eyes getting more humid but did not have time to cry. She heard a heavy breath behind her and turned around. The corridor's light had gone out completely, but someone's silhouette was visible coming from there. The temperature began to drop quickly, making the girl shake.
The cold air around the silhouette formed a layer of ice on the floor and walls, spreading fast. Sora succumbed to her urge to run. She found her way to the kitchen, opened the door and found another corridor, similar to the one she saw whenever she left her apartment. The girl ran down the familiar stairs. She got to the street and found nobody there. The strong wind almost took her hat but the girl would not let it. The red light was more intense at the outside and Sora finally looked up. The sight terrified her. Across the sky, the drawing Kanda had on his hand was glowing.
"The crest of love?" Sora asked in loud voice. What's the meaning of this? Why is the crest of love up in the sky?!
The heavy breath from before had returned. Sora turned around and saw a figure completely covered by a black cloak standing five meters away from her.
"Who are you?" The girl questioned, lifting her arms and positioning them in front of her body. She could feel cold sweat covering her face. The wind hit her front and made it hard for Sora to keep her eyes open. The figure took a step forward, starting to cover the sidewalk with a layer of ice. The fifth-grader ran in the other direction the fastest she could, almost being knocked down by the wind.
The place around her looked like Odaiba but there was nobody else there. The wind was becoming stronger and colder. Its crying sound was getting more terrifying. Tired and scared, Sora entered a place that, in her world, was a bakery.
Instead of the variety of breads the girl knew the place for, what she found in the building were five empty tables, with four seats each, and an empty counter at her left. Sometimes, after soccer training sessions, she would go to that place with Taichi and a few other teammates. At times she convinced Koushiro to stick around as well. Taichi joked that Sora and Koushiro were kindred spirits because they were both redheads.
To think about the fourth grader made Sora feel as if something was squeezing her heart. Was that guilt? But for what reason?
The lights were out in the place. The weak illumination came from the glass door that Sora had just closed and from a large glass window at the other side of the place. That was not the best hiding spot but Sora did not care too much about it. She needed to think. The girl jumped to the other side of the counter, hoping that she would not be easily found there.
Think! She ordered herself as she hugged her knees against her body. Why is the crest of love above in the sky? What is this place? The crest was supposed to be in an orb…
The memory of being dragged by dark matter flashed before her eyes. Trembling, the girl understood her situation.
I'm inside the orb, aren't I?
How could that have happened? Kanda had made a plan to prevent Sora from getting close to the orb. He had access to the network! He knew where she should not go! How did she end in that place?
He showed us a map of two pyramids: one on the surface and another underground, upside down. There was no sign of traps. The orb was hidden in the extreme top of the pyramid above and could only be taken by a small flying digimon, who was to put it in a special square container the man had showed us. Nanomon was located in the lowest level of the pyramid below, and Kanda-san had made special handcuffs for him. He told us to eat and rest and that the next day we would go into the pyramids. Jyou-san and I would head towards Nanomon, and Koushiro-kun and Mimi-chan would go after the orb. We convinced Takeru-kun to stay in Homura-san's base. I didn't want him to be at risk. I wanted to protect Takeru-kun…
"Sora-san, we need to talk."
The memory of Koushiro saying that line distressed her. But Sora could not remember why. She remembered that Kanda had called her and Piyomon to a different room after the general explanation of the plan to the group. There were four pillows on the floor around a round short table. Piyomon had sat at Sora's right and the man across from them. His smile had mostly vanished from his face.
"I was very shocked to learn that I was the bearer of the crest of love." Kanda told her, glancing down. "My friends thought it was an obvious fit for me. Of course sweet little Kanda would have that crest, they said. They thought I was a kind person… I certainly tried to be."
Sora noticed the man's entangled fingers slightly shaking on his lap. He looked up to her. A mix of shame and sadness was visible in his eyes.
"If I had to explain it… I think I acted like that because I wanted to be loved. I should've known already that such a thing was impossible."
"Why do you say that?" Sora asked, apprehensive about the answer.
"I suppose Tamaki-san told you that we all came from the same orphanage." Kanda said. "I was the first one to get there. In a winter night, I was left in a box at that place's door. My Mother or whoever put me there didn't even bother to knock on the door. It was pure luck that I was found before dying of hypothermia."
Sora stared at the other, astonished. Kanda continued the story:
"Whoever my parents were, they certainly didn't love me. I must've been such a problem to them… a hated child for sure. When I was a kid, I didn't think that my Mother probably didn't have financial conditions to raise me. I just internalized that I had been abandoned by the people who were supposed to love me. If they didn't love me… who would? I was afraid of being someone that would never know what love was. But nobody ever noticed that side of me. I made sure to always show a smile to people and to make them feel at ease. I didn't want to make anyone feel what I felt. Somehow, that was mistaken for kindness and I simply never corrected anyone assuming that I was a good person. Although I was tricking everybody… it felt good not be lonely."
"Is that such a bad thing?" Sora inquired in low voice. "To want to be loved?"
"Everybody wants to be loved!" Piyomon stated. "It's the most normal feeling in the world. There's nothing bad about it."
"You're so sweet, Piyomon." Kanda said with a soft smile. "I'm proud for choosing you to be Sora's partner."
Sora gulped after hearing that. The time for answers had arrived.
"You chose us to come to this world, right?" The girl inquired. "To save the Digital World… from all the people on Earth, you chose us five. Why?"
Kanda studied her for a full minute, replying next:
"I wasn't the one who chose you kids." He admitted. "I found your data in the computers of the Academy when I took charge. I selected digimon from the Village of the Beginnings that were compatible with you, designed your digivices and put some basic information about you in their minds."
"We were in the database of the Academy? Why?" Sora asked.
"You and the other children were in Hikarigaoka in the night of August 3rd of 1995." Kanda said. "I believe that the people from that world refer to the events of that night as Storm of Hikarigaoka. But you know what really happened, right?"
Sora remembered that. The following days, all the media talked about was the sudden storm that had provoked a calamity in Hikarigaoka. Her Father had even returned home the next day, worried, and stayed until her Mother had organized their move to Odaiba. But Sora had taken a peek at the sky that night, through her window, and she saw something that would never be mentioned on TV. The sky was torn and four creatures surrounded a mass of dark matter.
"Our final battle against the Queen took place in the frontier between our worlds. I was on my partner Zhuqiamon as he flew above my former town. We could've crossed… we could've abandoned everything and returned home… but we fought. And then, we stayed in the Digital World for a longer time to fight those who opposed the Academy. Gennai, an artificial human being from the Academy, promised us that we would go back home." Kanda's eyes were getting more humid and a twitch in his cheeks distracted the girl. "But first, the head of the scientific division had an experiment to make. Nanomon wanted to create enhanced copies of us to assure that our partners wouldn't have their power decreased… he created grown up clones that were not able to develop their own consciences… they were like soulless dolls. Then, Nanomon told us he just had to make a through scan of our brains to better develop their artificial intelligences. He told us we'd be alright…"
Sora got scared when she saw Kanda's face becoming distorted by what she believed to be deep fury. He closed his eyes and took five long breaths, before continuing:
"We woke up in these bodies and Nanomon told us that the real chosen children had returned to the human world. A couple of days after that, there was a huge celebration in the main base of the Academy. All the most prominent leaders of the organization had appeared to eat, drink and party over the demise of the Sanctuary. If you ask any of the new recruits, they'll tell you about the great tragedy that took place in that night: a member of the Sanctuary managed to sneak into the main base and poison all those important digimon. 'Gennai,' who had never showed himself publicly before, made that announcement, and accused Nanomon of being a traitor that had helped the Sanctuary. You should've seen me, Sora. I was so convincing I scared myself."
Sora paled intensively. In Kanda's face, a satisfied grin contrasted to the lifeless of his eyes.
"What happened to the real Gennai?" Piyomon asked, afraid.
"He had a rather gruesome death. Nanomon, on the other hand, ran away before I could get him. And he stayed hidden until today." Kanda replied.
"You're…" Sora was at a loss of words. She was shocked at the revelations, but, strangely, she was not wary of Kanda. There was something about the frankness in his voice. That man, who was full of secrets, had revealed all of that to a little girl like her. Why would anyone in his position do that? The logical conclusion disturbed her more than any detail of his story: Kanda opened up to her because he thought the girl would understand.
"I was wrong, Sora." The man told her with a sad smile. "When I saw the reactions of my friends after they realized who I really was, I finally understood the nature of love. It doesn't matter whether you receive it or not. What's important is to love others. You only know that you truly love someone when you see them wronged… and you suffer as if their pain is your own. And you dedicate your life to do them right, even if they despise you… even if you must become the object of their hatred. Hatred is a necessity for us. It's what motivates us… it's the base upon which we mold ourselves to become better. Sweet little Kanda was useless… he couldn't protect anyone he cared about. But the Headmaster of the Academy can make those who harmed my friends suffer."
"How is your relationship with your friends now, Kanda-san?" Sora asked in low voice
"They saw my true self and rightfully hate me for it. But that's okay. They need to hate me. They need to look at me and say 'I'm not this!' One can't have peace of mind without that. You certainly have a person in your life that you loathe too, Sora."
"Sora is not like you!" Piyomon roared, standing up. "She can't hate anyone! She's a good person!"
Kanda gave the monster a pitiful look and affirmed:
"Good people don't exist. Some are simply better at pretending than others."
Good people don't exist.
That conversation with Kanda was a revelation to Sora. He was someone who fully accepted his flaws and took strength from them instead of being consumed by fear and shame. He did terrible things and he kept going on. Kanda embraced hatred as a vital thing; he made it his weapon and did not care about what other people thought about him. He did not care about being kind but only did what he wanted, for what he believed to be right.
Sora smiled but her insides were freezing.
And then she noticed that the cold was not exclusive to her insides.
Fog came out of her mouth and her body was shaking. Sora stood up and nearly slid on the ice that had formed around her. She did not see anyone there with her. The girl jumped over the counter and, when she looked at the door's direction, noticed a thick layer of ice spreading from there to everywhere. With no other way to run, she headed to the window and forced it open. She jumped it and landed on another deserted street, where the wind was not very strong. Ten meters at her right, Sora saw the cloaked figure standing on a frozen corner.
"WHAT ARE YOU? WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?" Sora inquired, walking backwards to distance herself from the stranger. Was that some kind of jailer? Someone who was already in the orb? Was that possible?
The cloaked individual did not walk in her direction, merely stretching the right arm to the girl. That action triggered the memory of Koushiro doing the same. Sora once again felt the pain in her heart and ran away, for several minutes, entering different streets, until she found an unbelievable sight in the middle of one.
The ground was covered by petals and destroyed flowers of the colors white, orange and red. There seemed to be pieces of pink cloth beneath them. Dozens of flower arrangements were distributed on the street. They had the shape of a human of Sora's size and were wearing pink kimonos with large red ribbons and cherry blossoms details. All of the flower dolls kept their arms down with its extremities made of white flowers touching each other. The "faces" of the dolls were made of white flowers but had two red ones in the place of the "eyes". The "hairs" were made of orange ones; there was a white flower at the back of each "head," as if it was a hairclip.
Those were not Ikebana. Nevertheless, she sensed Toshiko's presence in them.
A memory from the base unfolded before Sora's eyes.
"We discussed the plan…" The girl remembered aloud. "After I talked to Kanda-san… we all had dinner and took baths separately… Homura-san showed us a bedroom with futons… Takeru-kun argued with us, and then… Mimi-chan opened the drawers of a commode and took kimonos out. She probably wanted to change the atmosphere. She pulled me and put that pink kimono with the red ribbon in front of me…"
"You would look so beautiful in this, Sora-san! Combining the colors of your hair and eyes with this shade of pink… you'd be so gorgeous that I could cry!"
"Mimi-chan… I don't think this suits me…"
"Of course it suits you! Are you not aware of your natural grace and elegance? You must try this on now!"
"Mimi-chan, I…"
"I think I might have a hairclip in my bag somewhere…"
"A graceful woman in a kimono…" Sora muttered, approaching one of the flower dolls. "… with her hair styled like…"
Toshiko always used hairclips.
She liked to wear an elegant kimono while working.
She liked to cut her flowers.
"You should always wear hairclips. You look so beautiful with them."
To mold them.
"You should wear more feminine clothes."
To create beauty with her very hands.
"You're the daughter of an Ikebana Master! This is not how you should behave!"
Sora touched the face of one of the flower arrangements with trembling hands. That was a beautiful work, right? The type of thing her Mother would appreciate. Something that could be shaped in any way. A silent and beautiful piece to be admired by everybody. Something the maker would be praised for.
The talented Takenouchi Toshiko, who could bring out the beauty in anything, never failed.
Until she had Sora.
The girl threw the doll on the ground. The noise echoed through the street. The meticulously arranged flowers had moved from their places. All of the work to put them together had been ruined in one single moment. Pitiful, Sora thought, as she stepped over the kimono, tearing and dirtying it. It was so easy to destroy all that. She kneeled on the cloth and began to tear apart all of the remaining flowers. Slowly at first, then with increasing speed and violence. Sora grabbed the flowers and smashed them in her palms.
It felt good. How could that feel so good? That was what her Mother wanted the most! The beautiful thing she wanted to make from her imperfect daughter! But Sora resisted! She threw the hairclip away and covered her hair with hats! She refused the feminine clothes and picked the ones Toshiko liked the least! She befriended the loud kid who liked to play soccer and she began to play soccer as well! She would return home covered by dirt, mud and bruises, contrasting with the cleanness and tidiness of the woman waiting for her. Toshiko strongly disapproved of Sora's behavior and that satisfied the girl like nothing else. Could there be better proof that she was different from the woman?
"I-I'm not.." Sora cried as she continued to destroy the doll. "I will never be like… I… I hate… I h-hate…"
Despite the tears coming down from her eyes, Sora laughed. She had finally unleashed the darkness that had been kept in the bottom of her heart for so long. There was nobody there to see her. Nobody to listen to her. Sora did not have to act as if there was nothing wrong. She let her pain rage on like a furious storm and felt lighter than ever.
She was free.
"Mother!" Sora shouted. She stood up and glared at the crest in the sky. "You have always been cold! Unloving! Self-absorbed! You never saw me for who I was! You only cared about having an heiress to your Ikebana! As if I was yours to mold! You're uncaring, selfish… I reject you! I reject everything you are! Everything you represent! I WILL NEVER BE LIKE YOU!"
"Sora!"
For the first time, she was able to discern a familiar voice in the wind. It was not coming from a place far away. Sora followed it and found a wall of ice that should be taller than 100 meters and surrounded the fake Odaiba. Stuck in the thick ice, with only the head free, Birdramon looked at her.
Why… is she here? Sora wondered, terrified. New flashes of memory came to her mind and she was able to make sense of the situation.
The following morning, after they met Kanda in person for the first time, the man and Homura had opened two portals. She went with Jyou and their partners to the underground pyramid and found a small machine digimon alone in a room. The same creature they had seen in the record in the factory where they had fought Andromon. As soon as Jyou's partner entered his room, Nanomon surrendered, letting himself be handcuffed. The children had found that suspicious. Suddenly, Mimi contacted her through the earplug. She had told the older girl that the orb was already in the container but…
"I was desperate…" Sora was recalling, looking at her partner. "I made you take me to the pyramid above… I made you open a path up with your attacks… you didn't want to take me there but I told you…"
"If you don't take me up there, I will never forgive you, Birdramon!"
From Sora's wide open eyes, two thick tears rolled down. The girl lifted her shaking hands to caress her friend's head.
"It was my fault… I-I took you there…" She sobbed. "The darkness swallowed us… I didn't even think that I was putting you in danger… because of me, you're stuck in this ice wall…"
"T-this c-can't continue…" Birdramon spoke with difficulty. "I can't b-bear to keep s-seeing you d-doing this… please, Sora…"
"I'm going to save you!" Sora promised, looking around for something that she could use to break the wall. Not finding anything, she took her hat (which was made of hard material) and hit it against the cold surface.
After the tenth time, she noticed the extensive damage on the hat. It did not make sense. Just by hitting the object ten times against a hard surface was not enough to allow so many cracks to appear on it. That could only be possible if she had hit it hundreds of times.
The girl examined the wall in front of her and realized that it was dented in some parts, as if it had been suffering continuous damage. Likely from someone hitting it hundreds of times.
Sora remembered how she woke up in her pseudo-bedroom completely wet, with ice crystals on her chest, and found petals stuck in her shoes: white, orange and red. There were tears in her gloves. And there were so many destroyed flower dolls already on the ground. All of them had been destroyed by a pair of hands.
"How many times…" Sora's voice came out in a terrified whisper, as she placed the hat back on her head and took two steps back. "How many times have I been doing this? For how long have I been in this place?"
Birdramon's swallowed eyes shone. How many times had she cried because of her partner?
"I-I've l-lost the count after the f-first one h-hundred times…" The digimon said. "Y-you keep on doing the same things and s-saying the same things… you keep m-making the same mistakes and t-that thing comes along and f-freezes you… and you disappear for s-some hours. I-I don't know how I can help you… I d-don't know w-what to do… I can't s-stand to continue to see you s-suffering like this…"
I'm stuck in a cycle… I… I can't stay like this! I can't leave Birdramon like this! She's here because of me! Because I made her take me to where the orb was. Why? Why did I do such a thing?
"Wait! The container… there's something dark leaking from it!"
Mimi-chan had said that through the earplug, but there was something before it! What she said right before that was what made me forget about everything else! It was what made me fly to this trap! What was it?!
Sora picked her digivice with her right hand and pointed it to the sky, in the direction of the giant glowing drawing.
"Not a-again…" Birdramon spoke with sorrow.
"If I can retrieve the crest… if you can evolve to perfect level… you might be able to get out of there…" Sora murmured. That should work. It had to work! But how would she be able to retrieve the crest? In Mimi's case, the rock simply flew to the younger girl's digivice. How did Tanemon explain it? She had felt Mimi's feelings inside her! Then, Sora had to transmit her feelings to Birdramon! Feelings capable of activating the crest.
"Love?" The girl asked in low voice.
New memories came to Sora. She had made up an excuse to leave the bedroom, in order to escape from Mimi's attempt to convince her to put the kimono on. She walked through the corridors of the base, eventually finding a semi closed door. The girl peeked and saw the backs of Kanda and Homura, sitting on pillows next to each other.
"Do you understand how irresponsible your plan is?" Homura sounded angry. "It's a trap! There's no reason to send those children in there!"
"I have checked everything there was to check in that place. There's no trap there." He asserted.
"Nanomon is planning something. He has some long game at play! He wouldn't just let you capture him so easily!"
"Whatever he's planning, I'm prepared for it! What I can't do is let him escape again!"
"Listen, Kanda-kun! You're not in your right state of mind right now! Nanomon makes you too emotional; you don't see the mistakes you're making!"
"Of course he makes me emotional! After what he did to us, you should loathe him as well!"
"I moved on!"
"Really? Is that why you've been playing vigilante in Aurora Town for centuries? Is that why you put on that ridiculous costume and-"
"Don't act as if you're doing this for us."
"Of course I'm doing this for you! Do you think I'd go this far for my own sake?! Don't you understand how much your pain hurts me?!"
"You shouldn't suffer-"
"I can't avoid it! Have you forgotten what my crest was?" Kanda had begun to cry. "You were all unconscious… you just woke up like that, it was easier for you guys. But I woke up before Nanomon finished the job! I saw you all… I saw your bodies…"
"We have their memories, but that did not happen to us."
"Do you think that was our birthday, Homura-san? Seriously?"
"Nanomon created us."
"Nanomon killed us! You all died around me! Our consciences were transferred to these abominable bodies! Don't you understand? That demon stole our lives! Because of him, we can never go home! He has to pay!"
"His hatred…" Sora murmured. "He hated Nanomon with his whole soul. Kanda-san suffered because of his friends… because he was the bearer of love. I… I'm suffering because of Birdramon…"
"S-Stop it, Sora…" The digimon begged but the girl did not listen.
"Someone put her in the ice… someone keeps stopping me before I can save Bidramon…" Sora felt rage boiling in her. "The stranger in the black cloak!"
She looked down and noticed the ice spreading on the ground. Sora turned around and found the cloaked figure five steps away from her.
"IT'S YOU!" Sora roared, lowering her arms. The digivice was still being held in her right hand. "How could you do this to my friend?! Why do you want to keep us apart?! It doesn't matter how many times you try to stop me, I will never give up on saving Birdramon! I'll never abandon anyone I care about!"
The cloaked figure stretched the right arm in Sora's direction and an image of Koushiro doing the same thing flashed before Sora's eyes again.
He had done that when the dark matter advanced in Sora's direction.
The dark matter that was enveloping him.
Everything was clear now. When Sora and Birdramon had arrived at the pyramid above, they found Mimi, Lilymon and Tentomon trying to free Koushiro from the dark substance. When the darkness let him go to take Sora instead, the boy stretched his arm in her direction, with a horrified expression.
"Sora-san!" Mimi's voice echoed in her mind. The older girl remembered what she had heard in the earplug previously. "There's something wrong with Koushiro-kun! He said that his leg hurts! And he's murmuring something about a game! Wait! The container… there's something dark leaking from it!"
Finally, the memory of her conversation with Koushiro from the night before they entered the pyramids returned to her. After listening to the talk between Kanda and Homura, Sora had backed away and almost tripped on Koushiro, who had gone looking for her.
"Sora-san, we need to talk." The boy had told her. He had a preoccupied look. They went to an empty room and he told the girl:
"Sora-san, I don't think I should get close to that orb."
That had made her so confused.
"What are you saying? Do you want Takeru-kun to go instead?"
"What Kanda-san said about the orb targeting your thought-patterns made me think…"
"Think about what?"
"Sora-san… that time in the underground temple… I saw one of your memories."
Sora did not want to remember that. Why did Koushiro have to bring that up?
"It was just one memory. That's not enough to cause your thought-patterns to resemble mine, Koushiro-kun!"
"But, Sora-san, I didn't simply watch the memory… I-I lived it! I felt the pain in my leg. I felt your sadness… your anger."
"Stop thinking about that! If you just forget it, everything will be okay."
"We should tell Kanda-san about it and ask what he thinks."
"There's no reason to do that!"
"We don't have to go into details about the memory."
He couldn't tell him! Kanda-san was going to want the details… and if he agreed to let Koushiro-kun out of the mission, the others would want an explanation! They would want to know what Koushiro-kun had seen! I couldn't let that happen! What would they think of me? Mimi-chan, Jyou-sempai, Takeru-kun… the poor Takeru-kun would have to go to the pyramids in Koushiro-kun's place! He'd be with Mimi-chan… away from me, if something happened… I wouldn't be able to protect him! And Takeru-kun was still in such a fragile emotional state! I couldn't let him go!
"The orb won't target you, Koushiro-kun! Not because of one memory! If you tell him, Kanda-san might want Takeru-kun to go in your place! It's too soon for him to go on a mission like this!"
"I don't know-"
"Please, trust me on this! Nothing bad is going to happen! I swear that you'll be completely safe!"
"Alright, Sora-san…"
"I…" Sora felt something stuck in her throat. She could not inhale air properly and she felt as if her heart was being squeezed. "I put Koushiro-kun in danger…"
"S-Sora, it's okay-" Birdramon tried to comfort her partner but it was pointless, just like all the other times.
"I dismissed his concern… I didn't believe it was a serious threat… because I wanted to protect Takeru-kun… because I wanted to keep a secret from the others… I didn't even think about what could happen to Koushiro-kun… because of my selfishness… how could I…?"
The most devastating realization hit Sora in full force.
No matter how hard she fought or how much energy she spent, she could never win.
She could not escape that destiny.
The cloaked figure approached her and Sora did not run. There was no reason for it.
"Sora!" Birdramon cried. "Don't g-give up, Sora! I-I'm begging you! Stop d-doing this to y-yourself!"
"I'm sorry." Sora whispered. "You deserved someone better than me."
The figure placed the right hand over Sora's shirt.
The human felt her entire body freeze.
As her sight turned dark, she remembered all the times she had gone through that. All the times she kept on failing and losing to her own darkness. All the times she could not help Birdramon but only furthered the digimon's misery.
As everything disappeared, a voice she knew emerged from the deepest corners of her mind.
It said something she had heard long before, in a context she did not remember:
"That creature burned itself down and from its own ashes resurged. No matter how many tried to destroy it, it would always be reborn."
Sora opened her eyes and found herself sitting on a chair; her upper body was leaning on a desk. The girl had no memory of how she had gotten to that place.
This chapter was largely based on the episode of Doctor Who with the same name. It was my favorite episode from the show (the first part of series nine finale, or the middle part if you consider Face the Raven the first). Although I have used elements of the episode in other two fics, this was the first time I tried to fully utilize its structure.
Spoiler of Heaven Sent (Doctor Who):
In the episode, the grieving Doctor has to escape a cloaked creature in a maze castle to where he was forcefully sent after seeing his best friend die. He spends most of the time trying to figure out where he is and how the place works, until he finds out that he's being letting himself be killed by the creature for millions of years, for the sake of punching a wall to escape that place and creating clones of himself that will continue to punch the wall, until one succeeds. It might be the most heart-wrenching episode of the show.
In this chapter, Sora is not creating clones of herself, but she keeps being defeated by the cloaked figure and sent back to the beginning, to come to all of the same wrong conclusions again. And Birdramon has to keep watching her friend make the same mistakes hundreds of times.
This was an experimental chapter and I had a lot of work to write it the way I wanted it to be. I hope it was good. Please, let me know what you thought about the chapter.