S2 E2 - He Rules the Roost
Camille has roused enough to smell coffee… ohhhh, coofffeeeee! She roots about, trying to see through her tousled hair. No matter how HARD or how LONG she brushes it before bed… well, you know.
Finally, she is reduced to lifting the entire mass up and out of her face so she can watch him approach the bed with their morning tray. At least, she thinks that's what he's holding because her attention is focussed just a bit lower and more to her liking. The dawn light gives him such a rosy glow… or maybe it was the sex, she didn't really know… or care. He glows… that's the salient point. This is her first good moment of the day.
Instead of coming to her side of the bed, he ambles around to his side and sets the tray down just out of reach on a side table that wasn't there yesterday. As he carefully lays the tray, she has her second good moment of the day. She flings her arms akimbo above her head and writhes slowly in anticipation… but, first, the coffee... not that she needs anything to help her focus, mind you. She smiles in slow glee.
When he sits down facing her, his hands are empty.
Coffee? Where? She gives him a pleading look.
He flicks an eyebrow. Her looks don't seem to have the potency they once did. Maybe she's losing her touch… or he knows he's safe now? Hmm, how to regain control? Something to ponder… with coffee!
She makes an inquiring sound, points to the tray. He catches her wavering hand and pats it, "Do you know, I looked up poultry habits recently?"
His non-sequiturs are legendary. This will join the list. "Did you?" she manages.
"Yes, indeed. After that chicken rodeo I had in here last month, I felt the need to 'know thy enemy'." He looks smug and satisfied. She is suddenly suspicious. He's up to something.
"And what did you learn?" she grumps.
"Well, first of all, 'bird brain' is a real insult and it is the male of Gallus domesticus that rules the roost. It is his job to guard and protect, to keep the flock together, and his hens in line!"
"I see." She has an inkling of where this is going... could get interesting.
He holds up a finger, "Oh, yes. The male is boss. And if I want to keep poultry out of my home, I need to convince the rooster to keep his flock away... which I have done."
"Um…" she dekes a quick look behind him. The tray is just sitting there… the contents getting cold.
He continues perkily, "How, you may ask? Why, simply by sprinkling chicken blood all along my perimeter."
That made her sit up, "WHAT? Where in the world did you get chicken blood?"
He levels a disappointed look at her, "Really, Camille. Every second shop on the back street is a voodoo practitioner of some kind. Plus there are local butchers. It was easy. And it worked." He spreads his arms to indicate a poultry-deficient home... and displays a wonderful set of curves… which is probably unintentional… but she doubts it.
"Well, that's great. Now about my coffee…"
He tuts her into silence... he's not done, apparently. "And if the male wants his hen to come, he offers her something she can't resist… a bit of food, some tasty morsel, or it could be…" He gives her a look.
She scoffs, "Or it could be something she needs in order to wake up, to think, to live, to exist?!"
"Exactly!" he settles back in satisfaction, "Exactly so."
"So… if I want my coffee… I have to…?"
"If you want your coffee, I'm afraid you will have to obey my wishes."
"Oh, I see." She furrows her brow in thought, "OK, then." She coils herself up on the bed.
He leans back a fraction, the first seeds of doubt blossoming about this wonderful plan of his, "Er, maybe 'obey' is too strong a term? Why don't we have our morning libation and think about it?"
"Oh, no, no… the male wants his hen to do his bidding, right?" She reaches out a slim arm to lay a gentle hand on his shoulder.
He leans back a bit further… now very sure his plan is gang aft agley, "Well, yes, but…" he begins but is interrupted by her sudden lunge onto his lap.
As she wraps herself around him she growls, "And if the male offers TWO tasty morsels, the hen will pick the better one and leave the coffee to go COLD!"
He is flipped expertly onto his back and he laughs with delight, "Oh, absolutely! Hens rule! I knew that!" He chuckles to himself… her debating technique (if you can call it that) is SO persuasive! Very unorthodox to be sure and nothing like his school debating memories but still… SO persuasive!
She hears his quiet sound of amusement and gives her closing statement, "If you didn't know it before, you will learn it now."
As she takes him for breakfast, he sighs happily, "Learning, my love, learning all the time."
As he returns her opening sally of a most satisfying kiss, he thinks, but I'm still The Closer, my hen. I haven't forgotten a single thing I learned in school. If you don't know THAT, I'm here to remind you.
He rallies his points of order and carries his position… AND the day.
END