Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the movie Zootopia are owned by Disney, the great and powerful. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

Dancing Cheek to Cheek

When Judy and Nick came down for breakfast Eleanor warned her, "You received a couple angry calls."

"Angry calls? From Beaverton?"

"No from... It's all foolishness. Brooke Redpaw said call her before you talk with any parents or players... Probably just parents... You should call her."

Judy gave Nick a look of, "Do you know what's going on?"

He responded with a "Heck if I know" shrug.

"Use your cell phone in the family room," suggested Eleanor, "so kitchen noise won't interfere."

"Hello, this is Judy."

"Judy, glad you called. Have you spoken to anyone?"

"Nick's mom said there were calls. I don't understand. What's going on?"

"We don't know each other well, but I suspect you didn't talk to reporters last night."

"I don't think so... I mean, someone may have shoved a microphone in my face and asked how I felt. Why?"

"Team members were searching on-line for articles on the game. Most mentions of the game are short, just saying Fox Ridge females beat Beaverton for the district title. The Beaverton paper has a long article, and Plainview's paper gives a good write-up for the game. Scrappy little division three school beating the district powerhouse. And then... Have you heard of The Valley Insinuator?"

"I don't think so."

"You're fortunate. But they gave you a lot of coverage."

"Me? Why?"

"Because you came in and turned a losing football program around and brought them to the district championship."

"What! That's... That's... No wonder journalists have a bad reputation!"

"That has nothing do with journalism. The Insinuator is a scandal rag that wouldn't recognize news if it bit them in the leg. I already told you the real papers and websites for radio and television stations printed the news. It is unfortunate that rubbish like the Insinuator shapes anyone's perception. You are a celebrity, and as a celebrity you attract attention and sell papers. I fear that a few parents saw the Insinuator and believe you bragged about working a miracle with the team."

"That's awful."

"I know. I think the players know you didn't say that. I may have a lesson or assignment here."

"What?"

"Oh, I teach writing, literature, public speaking, and journalism. I'm advisor for the high school paper and yearbook."

"And coach. You're busy."

"It's a small high school. All of us who teach here must wear multiple hats."

"What can I do about that stupid story?"

"There's probably little or nothing you can do. I appreciate your hard work this last week, the team does too. There may be some parents, however, who think you took credit for their daughters' work. You shouldn't argue with someone like that. Ask them to call me and I'll set them straight."

"But, you–"

"I owe you for helping me. You don't deserve listening to nonsense. It's wonderful you helped me out, and you shouldn't suffer for it."

"You're sick."

"I'm well enough to deal with this, and they know me better than they know you. More chance they'll listen to me."

Judy returned to the kitchen. "Not sure if this is a case of no good deed goes unpunished or the curse of being famous." She looked at Nick, "But you need to do husband duties this morning."

"Husband duties? Mowing the lawn or taking you back up to the bedroom?"

Eleanor scolded her son, "It would be nice if you listened first." She turned to Judy, "What's going on?"

"There's some bad paper called the Insinuator?"

"I've heard of it."

"Apparently they did an awful article saying I claimed to have done wonderful things for the terrible Fox Ridge team. And there are some animals who believe I said that."

"Seriously?" asked Nick, in disbelief.

"I wish I wasn't. Anyway, I want to finish the preliminary draft on my report this morning so I can work on cases Monday. I don't want to be bothered with phone calls. Brooke says she'll handle them, I should just tell angry callers to talk with her. I don't want to deal with angry callers at all. I just want to type my report in peace. I need you to handle calls. I'm trusting you with my second most valuable possession," she told him and handed over her cell phone. "I told the team my phone number. Parents might be calling here. Oh, and I'll write down Brooke's phone number. She can defuse things. You might make it worse if you talked."

Eleanor suggested, "I could handle it, Dear, if you aren't sure if Nick–"

"I can do it," insisted Nick. "But what's your most valuable possession if it isn't your phone?"

"You, of course."

"I'm a possession? That–"

"You shouldn't tell a husband that," Eleanor chided. "You let them think we're their possessions."

"Ganging up on the male again," sighed Nick. "I tell angry crazies to call Coach Redpaw, how about animals offering congrats, or your Mom?"

"Talk with my mom, thank anyone calling to congratulate me, and say I'm sorry I'm too busy to talk at the moment. Oh, and you can play police officer if you want."

"Play police officer?"

"Start taking names, at least of the animals who call to congratulate. I don't want to know the names of the crazies."

Nick stayed in the kitchen chatting with his mother when he wasn't answering the phone. A bit after eleven there was a triumphant shout of "YES!" from the family room.

"Sounds like she's done," Eleanor said. "I'm glad. This has been a very busy week for her."

"And unfortunately it's not really done. How much did she tell you about the case she's writing up."

"Very little. She said it was her first time to lead an investigation and it turned out larger than expected."

"A lot larger," Nick confirmed. "There were so many suspects arrested, and so much evidence collected, that it may be years before the report is complete."

"Years?"

"Well, months at least before a final report. But they've got all the suspects identified and the evidence has been collected. There is so much evidence, though, that it could take months to sift through it all and analyze it. But if Judy has the initial report in order it means she can get back working new cases and won't be chained to a desk. She'll probably update the report once or twice a week with new information."

"So she wants to be back on the street pursuing criminals?"

"Some animals don't know how to relax."

"Your poor mother would love it if the two of you were doing something less dangerous."

"My mom worries too much."

Eleanor raised an eyebrow, "You're telling me your job isn't dangerous?"

"Define dangerous. Flu and food poisoning kill a lot more animals each year than criminals. Do you want me to stop eating and breathing?"

"I feel certain that if I gave it thought I would see serious problems with your analogy."

"I'm sure you would."

"Would what?" asked Judy as a happy rabbit appeared in the kitchen doorway.

"Your husband was telling me that eating and breathing are more dangerous than being a police officer."

"Seriously?"

"I was using an analogy," insisted Nick. "My frail old mum worries about us and I wanted to give her some peace of mind."

"You shouldn't be giving anyone a piece of your mind, you didn't have pieces to spare."

"Not piece of mind, peace of mind... You know that, don't you? So, sounds like you got the preliminary report finished."

"I think so. I didn't send it in, I sent the final draft to Carson and asked if he could give it a look. But I am totally taking it easy for the rest of the day."

Nick glanced at the clock, "Head down to the drugstore for a latte? We can check out if the bakery is open too."

"Is is safe for me to to be seen? Were there any phone calls wanting to run me out of town?"

"Two of those. I had them call Coach Redpaw. Several from players – saying thanks and hoping they'll get the chance to say goodbye before we go back to Zootopia. And a long call from Susan. Your mom is of the opinion that we should come out to Bunnyburrow for a few days since we came out to Fox Ridge for time with my mom."

"It does sound reasonable," agreed Eleanor.

"You haven't been to Bunnyburrow," Nick reminded her. "While the animals are lovely, and... They've got a fox there who bakes great pies. Uncle Charlie should try and get him to relocate here, there are–"

"Bunnyburrow, remember?" Judy reminded him.

"Oh, yeah. Anyway. Judy's old home is so crowded we'd have no privacy, and the only motel in town is more dangerous than working as a police officer."

"I assume that is more of your exaggeration."

"Exaggeration nothing! Broken windows, holes in the ceiling. And you don't want to imagine the things that have happened on those bed linens."

Eleanor tried to protest, "It can't be that–"

"It is," seconded Judy. "Bunnyburrow isn't a tourist destination. Animals who come to Bunnyburrow are usually visiting family and stay with family."

"Well, crowded or not," Eleanor advised Nick, "you ought to go to Bunnyburrow and stay with Judy's parents... Stu and Bonnie? Best to keep peace with a mother-in-law."

"Is that a warning to me?" Judy laughed and gave Eleanor a hug.

"No, Dear. We females realize that. It's the males who need a periodic reminder."

"Another example of Never Hit Your Grandma with a Shovel?" asked Nick.

"Exactly," Eleanor agreed.

"What are you talking about?" demanded Judy. "That sounds terrible!"

"You think you should hit your grandma with a shovel? It was a record we had when I was little," Nick explained. "Sound, practical advise, don't hit grandma with a shovel, she might grab one herself and smack you with it. Apparently the rule also applies to mothers-in-law... And given that you're from a family of farmers I'll bet your mom swings a mean shovel. Meanwhile, the day is gorgeous and would be perfect if the love of my life joins me in a stroll downtown." He held out a paw to Judy, "You've been so busy working on the report and football you haven't seen much except the drugstore that night."

"And your mom's shop."

"Well, let's head for the forge, I'm hoping they have the trim done for the espresso machine. And, should the bakery be open, they have a cookie I think you'll love."

"Will you be back for lunch?" asked Eleanor.

"We'll grab a bite at the lunch counter at the drug story, or survive on cookies until tonight. Oh, and we'll go to Plainview for dinner, and maybe dancing. You're off hostess duty until breakfast tomorrow."

The new trim had been finished. Nick reached for his wallet and was told, "It has been paid for."

"Uncle Charlie?"

"Mister Meadows, yes. And he has not told us which of you cooks more."

"Excuse me?"

"For the knives. He said a set of knives for the cook. It is usually the wife, but he says the two of you are... He has not spoken to you?"

"I do more cooking," Judy told him. "What's this about knives?"

"I should have said nothing. It is a wedding gift. We need you to hold some handles and tell us which is the most comfortable for you."

Nick's brow furrowed, "The fancy knives?"

"I don't know if they are–"

"A set like they have in the window of the furniture store?"

"Yes."

Nick let out a low whistle and turned to Judy, "I might cook more just to have a set like that. Have you seen them?"

"No."

"They're impressive."

"Oh, and Mister Meadows would like to use Ms Hopps pictures on the website."

Nick smiled, "I thought that was strangely generous of Uncle Charlie, but if he can plug Fox Ridge with a celebrity endorsement it makes sense."

"You shouldn't talk like that, a good set of knives is expensive."

"And these are way better than good. We're stopping by the furniture store to get your mouth watering for... Does your mouth ever water for a knife?"

"No. A good carrot or beet maybe, but never for a knife."

"Your mouth may water for these."

The teenage fox behind the lunch counter when Nick and Judy entered was in a state of panic. "It isn't working! I swear, I didn't break it, but the espresso machine isn't working!"

"Let me give it a look," offered Nick. "Maybe I didn't get a good connection on a new switch."

"I assume you made sure it was plugged in," Judy asked the teen, "and it's turned on?"

"It's turned on! The light is on! Nothing happens."

Nick gave the machine a fast look as the teen babbled. "Well, with my unerring detective instincts I've solved the espresso mystery."

"It wasn't my fault, was it? I swear, I didn't– Can you fix it?"

"The reservoir is empty."

"The what?"

"I disconnected it from the town water line. Too many minerals in the town well, it's what caused all the scale inside. You need to lift this," Nick demonstrated, "and pour in distilled water to keep it running."

"That's it?"

"Yep. Now, why don't you practice making a couple espressos while Judy and I visit the bakery. We'll be right back and tell you how you did."

The teen was pulling the second shot when they returned with their purchases. As he set it down in front of Judy he warned, "Carmela is coming to interview you."

"Who's Carmela?" asked Nick.

"A defender on the team," Judy explained. "How does she know I'm here?"

"Streak told her... Will tell her."

"And Streak knows because... ?"

"I called her. She was going to call you later, but when I saw you here I called–"

"And you know she was going to call me because?"

"She was in earlier and... That was when I found the machine wasn't working... I mean, it would have been working, but I didn't know that–"

"We were here, remember?" Nick reminded him. "And she fled for fear of being accused of breaking the machine or she was afraid to get caught kissing you? It is nice she paid in advance for the espresso."

"What? No! How?" the teen stammered.

"Better check yourself in the mirror in the employee restroom," suggested Nick.

The teen fled.

"I didn't see anything," confessed Judy. "What gave him away?"

"How willing Streak was to pay him with a kiss the other night. The amount of time they spent together at last night's party. The fact the drug store sometimes doesn't have a customer in it. What else are two teens without a witness going to do?"

"Smooth, but that doesn't explain what you saw. Why did you tell him to go check himself in the mirror?"

"Oh, I didn't see a thing. But he'll be in there a long time looking for whatever he imagines I saw. And, meanwhile, I'll be making out with a sexy bunny at the lunch counter."

Judy giggled, "You are wicked, but I like–"

His tongue in her mouth kept her from saying more. She found it a very pleasant reason to cease talking.

Carmela, slightly out of breath, interrupted them before the male returned. A nervous cough from the armadillo interrupted Nick and Judy, "I, uh, I..."

"Yes?" asked Judy. "You are supposed to interview me? Why?"

"I'm, uh, taking journalism and, ah, Ms Redpaw said I should try and get a story... I... You two are...?"

"We're married," Judy explained. "It's considered okay to kiss your husband."

"Or wife," added Nick.

"But, you're..."

"Brooke is still teaching journalism?"

"Well, we send in assignments. She can't be around animals or she might get sick, but she can make assignments and grade them from home."

"And she assigned you to interview me?"

"Yes, if that's all right."

"I guess so. What I thought about the team?"

"No. You're a police officer in Zootopia! You're a celebrity! You know Gazelle! I mean, you're really special and you're here in Fox Ridge, you're news."

"All of that is also true for Nick."

"Yeah, but he's just a fox, you're–"

Nick laughed, "Told you," he commented to Judy. "Here you're an exotic animal. Me? I'm just a fox. Why don't you go over to one of the tables for the interview. You can leave the oreja here to show you trust me."

"You know exactly how much I trust you around dessert," Judy assured him – and took the cookie with her to the table. Once seated, Judy asked the armadillo, "You really won't ask me what I thought about the team?"

"No... Ms Redpaw only let a couple members of the team write about the game. I think she drew names from a hat or something. The rest of us had to find... There may be a couple other animals who want to interview you. You're famous! You're Judy Hopps, and you're in Fox Ridge! That's exciting!"

"Well, yes. Nick is my partner, and his mother lives here in Fox Ridge."

Carmela sat and thought for moment. "That doesn't seem very exciting."

"It's not. Not really."

"Coach Redpaw says that in a news story you need something animals want to read. Animals want to read about celebrities. When did you become famous? What did it feel like?"

"I think... I think it was when Nick and I discovered that Mayor Lionheart, he was mayor of–"

"I heard about that."

"Well, when we found out he'd captured the animals who'd been drugged, everyone thought he was behind what was going on. And suddenly everyone was praising me and calling me a hero... And then later I found out it was all fake."

"Fake? But–"

"All part of Dawn Bellwether's plan. She set me up to find what the Mayor was doing. And then she wanted me as the poster child for the police department. They were going to put my picture all over everything and promote me."

"That must have been fun!"

"It wasn't. I felt like I was being used. I mean, I was being used, but I didn't know it then. It just felt wrong. I was a part of Bellwether's plan. I only knew I hadn't joined the police department to get my name up in posters. I guess if you're an entertainer like Gazelle it's important for animals to recognize you. She worked hard, and is a terrific entertainer. She deserves all the attention she gets. I wanted to join the police department to help other animals. I wanted to break stereotypes. I wanted to show that it doesn't matter what species you are, if you work hard you can reach your goal. Being put on posters... It wasn't why... And I said some dumb things. I hurt Nick. I made it sound like I thought predator species were bad. I quit the force and went back to Bunnyburrow. I–"

"You did? I never heard that."

"It wasn't a big deal. I just didn't like what was happening. I felt like a failure. It wasn't for me, it wasn't why I joined the police force. And while I was home I realized something was wrong about the arrest of the Mayor. I wasn't sure what was going on, but I found Nick and we uncovered what really happened. Think that could be your story?"

The armadillo chewed the end of her pen for a moment. "That's history. News is supposed to be current. You really can't tell me what it feels like to be famous?"

"Only that it means animals feel free to tell lies about you, like that story that said I wanted credit for your team beating Beaverton."

"Oh, that was awful, wasn't it? The story was awful. But you did help us get the win."

"It gives a bad name to all the journalists who try to tell a real story. Celebrities aren't any smarter than other animals. I've said some stupid things – like when I hurt Nick, but when papers or television stations take it out of context it makes things sound even worse. Or when they put lies in my mouth, like that Insinuator article."

"Maybe I could use you to write about ethics? Ms. Redpaw wants us to be ethical when we write."

"Okay, but I don't think you need me for that."

"You're still a celebrity. And animals care about what a celebrity thinks."

Judy sighed, "You're right. I don't like it, but you're right. Okay. I think it is an important topic and I think you'll be careful when you write."

While the two were talking a second armadillo arrived to write an interview with Judy and the three chatted for a quarter of an hour before Judy made it back to Nick.

In the afternoon there was a small ceremony at the high school, when the trophy was put into a display case. Team members and families of team members thanked Judy for helping, and the only mention the rabbit heard of the Insinuator article was a mother wondering why such a trashy newspaper was still being published (without mentioning she had subscribed for fifteen years).

An email from Detective Carson suggested a few small tweaks to the draft of the report Judy had sent him. It took her twenty minutes to make the changes before she sent it off to those who needed to receive copies. "With luck," she told Nick, "you and I will be back on the streets on Monday."

To celebrate the game and the initial report being completed Nick took Judy to a nice restaurant in Plainview. After dinner they found a club for dancing. Plainview was no Zootopia, but there were enough species living in the town that an interspecies couple didn't attract undue attention.

A feminine voice called, "Nick!" as they entered.

Judy had a short pang of jealousy before seeing Nick's cousin Coral at a table with Tyrone. The two foxes waved Nick and Judy over to join them.

"You do realize this is a club, right?" Coral asked.

"I don't understand the question," confessed Nick.

"Animals dance here."

Nick turned to Judy, "Why do I feel like I've just been insulted?"

"Sorry," his cousin apologized. "I just never thought of you as a dancer." She chuckled, "Another way Judy changed your life around?"

"I think Nick always wanted to dance. He loves music! He just needed the right partner," insisted Judy.

"Nick and I never saw much of each other. Music?" She turned to her cousin, "So, what do you like? Can I guess Judy likes hip-hop, or would you accuse me of stereotyping?"

"You would be guilty of stereotyping. But you'd also be right."

Coral stared at Nick, "And I've got no clue... Metal? Grunge? Not punk." She looked at Tyrone, "You want to make a guess what kind of music Nick likes?"

"If you have no idea I certainly have no idea." He turned to Nick, "Want to give us the big reveal?"

Judy answered for him, "He likes old jazz, swing, and big band music."

"And the dances of the era?"

"Yes. I'm trying to get him to do some modern stuff, but he really likes swing."

"You make it sound like something bad," complained Nick. "I thought you liked it."

"I love it, especially when you have your arms around me." She looked over at Coral, "I think he gets a little self-conscious. He's afraid of animals staring at him if he's not dancing modern stuff well."

"But he doesn't mind swing dancing poorly?" asked Tyrone.

"He's pretty good at–"

"We're pretty good," Nick corrected her.

Tyrone excused himself. The three at the table discussed the game the day before. Tyrone returned with a warning, "I just requested a couple numbers to see if Nick and Judy are as good as he claims."

"What?"

Coral explained, "The owner is an old friend... Well, the son of the owner, who manages the place, is one of Ty's buddies."

As the song which had been playing ended there was a brief pause, and Ty extended a paw to Coral, "May I have this dance?"

Nick turned to Judy, "And I feel like we've been ordered onto the dance floor."

The rabbit grinned, "I don't mind."

On the dance floor Tyrone turned his head to look at Nick and Judy, "You didn't know your cousin could dance?"

"No."

"I guess him growing up in Zootopia, and you growing up in–"

"That isn't it," the vixen sighed. "Nick wasn't always a Zootopia hero and political animal. He... He had a rough part of his life. He was a hustler. The family really didn't talk about him much, and in the little bit that was said it didn't sound like he had anyone serious in his life... I think even worked with a feline for awhile."

"Whoa... So maybe him being with a rabbit isn't all that strange?"

"A fox and a rabbit are strange, at least as a couple. But apparently she helped him get his life back on track. Aunt Ellie thinks Judy is very sweet. Dad has fits when he thinks about them."

"I guess it doesn't matter what other animals think, as long as they're happy together. And they dance well together."

"The best dancing is when you have your arms around the one you love and you are looking into each others' eyes."

"Yeah, I guess–"

Coral coughed gently, and Tyrone realized it was a hint. He look his eyes off Nick and Judy and looked into Coral's eyes. She gave him a smile to say, 'Glad you caught that' and laid her head against his chest.

After a second dance, a foxtrot, the two couples returned to the table, where they found a bottle of wine and four glasses.

"Did you order that?" Coral asked her date.

"No. Dan either sent it as a gift, or the waiter left it on the wrong table. I suggest waiting a minute to make sure no one comes back and apologizes for making a mistake." He looked at Nick and Judy, "You two are good. Jitterbug?"

"Not yet, We had, like, half a lesson," Nick answered. "We'll be great. Judy's small and athletic. We'll knock 'em dead. Do you think I'll look good in a zoot suit?"

"I don't think anyone ever looked good in a zoot suit."

"C'mon, it was almost a uniform back in the day."

"And for Judy?"

"Well, if I remember the lyrics she needs a brown gown with a zop top and a hip slip, and a laced waist when I get the zoot suit with a reet pleat and a drape shape, and a stuff cuff."

"Do either of you two understand him?" Judy asked. "Sometimes he slips into Fox Latin or something."

"He's speaking jive, I believe," was Ty's opinion. "I don't speak it myself so it's just a guess."

"The three of you have no appreciation for the greatest period in the history of music."

Tyrone changed the topic with, "Dance lessons?"

"Yep," confessed Nick. "I thought they'd let us dance with each other. But I got some ancient beaver named Bloodaxe, and–"

"Bloodaxe? Seriously?"

"Swear to Dog. They claim it's a bad translation or something. And they gave Judy this handsome otter named–"

"Whose voice hasn't changed yet," interrupted Judy. "But they're both good instructors. And they're having us work together on the jitterbug."

"Too strenuous for the old beaver, and the otter's too timid to try it with Judy."

"Half a lesson?"

"We spent half a lesson on the Lambeth Walk, then started the Jitterbug."

"Want to try it now? I think the band could do one."

"Nick would prefer to wait until other dancers are impressed by our brilliance," explained Judy.

As they left the club for the drive back to Fox Ridge, Nick asked Judy, "Know the name of that last song we danced to?"

"No, but I suspect you're going to tell me."

"In the Mood," he told her, and raised an eyebrow as a question.

She answered with a smile.

Judy was a little late coming down to breakfast on Sunday. "Suze called and asked if we knew anything about the ghost murderer," she explained.

"Someone who murders ghosts, or is she turning the goat - ghost thing into a running joke?"

"Apparently neither. There was some unusual murder in Zootopia early Saturday morning. The police aren't releasing a lot of details, but someone who saw a surveillance image said there was something odd about the animal they think did the killing, and one of the television stations talked about it being ghostly image, he was dressed in old style clothing or something. Anyway, she called to see if we knew the details the police aren't releasing."

"Did you explain to her that the police may have a reason to not release details?"

"I told her that sometimes we don't want the criminals to know how close we are, and sometimes a criminal gives himself away by mentioning a detail that was never in the media."

"And that satisfied her?"

"I wouldn't say satisfied, but she realized it's true. Although she also suggested sometimes we claim we aren't releasing details to the media because we don't have any to release and want to sound like we know more than we really do."

"She is smart, isn't she?"

"I told you that the first time I mentioned her."

"True, but sometimes it's easy to forget."

"And at least she didn't go with any of those crazy conspiracy movie plots – where the authorities don't alert animals to brain sucking aliens infiltrating society, so that no one will panic, except that it always comes out and then everyone panics more."

"If you go the movies you can't expect animals to act in a realistic way."

"Anyway, the murder sounded interesting, so I got on-line and read about it. It does sound kind of ghostly. I mean, I don't believe in ghosts, but I'd like more details, and then I remembered this dashing fox I know who's in tight with a forensic pathologist who'd have the inside scoop."

"You want me to call Doc to get information to pass on to Susan? That is so not Judy Hopps."

"No, I don't want to pass it on to Suze. I told you, I know why we don't release information – even to a sister. I want to know for Judy Hopps, it's driving the poor rabbit crazy."

"Short drive," murmured Nick. "Her family started to question her sanity when she fell for a fox. I don't know why animals think felines are so curious, it's obviously rabbits. Let me read about the murder before I give Doc a call."

"I'm a bit curious myself," his mother told him. "If you give that Doctor a call I'd like to know what you're allowed to tell me."

Nick glanced at the clock, "Okay, but I need to be fast. Judy and I have a train to catch." Fifteen minutes later, after reading on-line and making a call to Zootopia, Nick told Judy and Eleanor, "Good news and bad news."

"What's the bad news?"

"Well, Doc isn't a detective. He's a pathologist. All he knows about the case is that, yep, the victim's dead."

"You and Doc are no help. What's the good news?"

"Murder wasn't done in the First. We don't have to worry about being assigned a case with a ghost."

–The End–

"Never Hit Your Grandma with a Shovel" by Spike Jones and the City Slickers can be found on YouTube, and probably a thousand other places. There are other covers as well.