Chapter 42: Fragments of reflection
The room where Agumon woke up was small and had three tall bookshelves. The dinosaur was sitting on a comfortable armchair in front of a lustrous wooden desk. Behind the desk, there was a digimon with glowing yellow eyes in a face hidden by a veil. He had both hands resting on the desk. That digimon sat on what looked like a golden throne decorated with colorful gems.
"I've never seen anyone like you before." Agumon commented.
"There isn't anyone remotely like me anywhere in the multiverse." The other spoke in a deep and serious voice. "Not even among Wisemons."
"Wisemon? Hey, I was told some shady things about a Wisemon!" Agumon said. "Are you he, perhaps?"
"I have never done anything wrong in my life." Wisemon assured. "I've just made right decisions that fools couldn't understand."
"Right…" Agumon wasn't convinced. "Where am I anyway?"
"In my carriage." Wisemon replied. "I needed Koushiro aboard and the quickest way was to abduct Houomon and everybody still on her."
"Sora and the others are here too?" Agumon asked, looking around.
He remembered that after Gabumon had fallen and Takeru and his partner had gone after him, Sora had ordered Houomon to turn around and rescue everybody. But then a strange blue light came from above and enveloped them. They couldn't move. Agumon couldn't breathe. Wisemon had kidnapped them, for sure. That digimon had to be a bad guy.
"I had sealed the carriage from the outside dimension to escape the effects of Ofanimon's 'Rebirth.'" Wisemon said, putting one of his hands under the desk to open a drawer. "It was a huge risk. But now you're going to help me to assess how contaminated my dimension got when I let you in."
"As if I would willingly help you, you freak!" Agumon shouted, throwing a fire ball at the other. The dinosaur then jumped from the armchair and ran to the door. He tried to open it, but it was locked.
"Lock on!" Wisemon said.
Agumon noticed that a big target appeared on his chest. It had the number 60 inside it, which turned to 59 and then 58, continuing the countdown. He turned around and saw a gun in Wisemon's hand.
"It's one of my favorite inventions, do you like it?" Wisemon asked, admiring the weapon. "It was made for interrogations, but I don't need you to tell me anything. Accelerate!"
The countdown became faster.
"What's this thing? What happens when it gets to zero?" Agumon asked, afraid.
"When it gets to zero, I'll know what I want to know." Wisemon replied, coldly.
Agumon ran in his direction, in an attempt to retrieve the gun. But the countdown got to zero after he took two steps.
He turned into white data particles. They became dark and disappeared in mid-air, as if sucked to another dimension.
"I see." Wisemon muttered. "I'll need time to fix this… and more time to break through his defenses…"
The digimon made a movement with his free hand and retrieved that object from where he had kept it for safety. Once he did it, Wisemon sustained the floating protective bubble in front of him. Inside the bubble, the mirror he had taken from the bottom of Asclepius Fountain shone.
"Now, Koushiro, shall we start?"
"This is a dream."
That thought appeared in Koushiro's head as he observed his parents sitting at the kitchen table, across from him. Tentomon was on a chair by the boy's side. Koushiro was the only one that could move.
"Do you remember what happened after you told them you would go back to the Digital World?"
Another thought crossed his mind.
Koushiro kept staring at his frozen parents.
Yoshie had her eyes covered with a hand. One single tear was visible on her cheek. Masami held his wife's other hand on the table. The man also seemed to be sad, but he had a resigned expression.
"Mom didn't want to let me go..." Koushiro spoke in low voice, furrowing his eyebrows as he tried to remember their conversation. "I don't recall her exact words, but she was really distressed… then Dad said they should trust me. He had this sad smile when he said I would definitely return to them…"
The boy closed his eyes, trying to picture how his father had smiled, but wasn't able to do it. His parents' faces became foggier the more he tried to think about them.
"He convinced Mom to let me go…" Koushiro continued. "She made me promise that I would come back and show her that I was okay. I forced a smile and promised her that… even though I wasn't sure I could keep that promise… I could hear her crying as I left the apartment with Tentomon. I stayed by the other side of the closed door for a bit. Mom played a really sad song on her violin… it felt like a farewell…"
"How did that make you feel?" A new thought came.
"Awful!" Koushiro replied, unable to hold the tears back. "I didn't want to make them go through that! I didn't want to have to leave them! I had to… but as long as I returned safely, it would be okay, right? They would be okay… wouldn't they?"
Koushiro opened his eyes and saw an exact copy of himself sitting across the table, where his parents had been not long before. Tentomon had vanished from his side, like the rest of the kitchen, replaced by a vast and empty white world.
"Like looking at a mirror." The other guessed what Koushiro was thinking. "I thought it'd be appropriate, given the circumstances. Or would you rather see me as a bloody teenager?"
Koushiro almost fell from the chair. His heart beat fast, as if it was trying to jump out of his body. It wasn't fear what he was feeling. He wanted to believe it was really him in his front, despite their last encounter almost resulting in his death. The idea that he was there, that he had survived, filled the boy with hope. If that wasn't over, then there had to be something left for Koushiro to do.
"Is this really you?" He asked in a weak voice. "How can you be here? You had… Hikari-san had killed you…"
"I am dead. Hikari-san ended me." The other said. "She's Fate now. I'm simply a back-up of the memories of the previous Spirit of the World, kept in a mirror because of our connection."
"Mirror…?" Koushiro asked. He could feel that information was important, but didn't know why.
"You don't remember anymore, right?" The other didn't sound surprised. "His attack has already begun."
"Who are you talking about? Who's attacking? Why?" Koushiro inquired, jumping from his chair.
"The creator is trying to take back his precious Homeostasis, like he has been doing since the beginning. For that goal, he's going to sacrifice you." The other replied. "I need to shield myself from him, so I can't stay for long. But there's still something I can do to help you."
"Sacrifice me…? Wait! You want to help me?" Koushiro was surprised. That wasn't how he remembered that person being. Did that mean that he wasn't as lost as the boy imagined? If that was the case, then did Koushiro's words reach him after all? Was Koushiro able to help himself?
The other smiled at him.
"I needed time to understand what you did for me. You shattered my whole world, Koushiro. You defied everything I thought I knew about you… about myself… that scared me like nothing before." He said, standing up. The chairs and table dissolved and vanished into the air. "I'm sorry for taking so long to come around and for making even more mistakes after our conversation."
"It wasn't pointless… I wasn't being stupid…" Koushiro stated, letting out a nervous laugh as his eyes got filled with fresh tears. A wave of relief washed his soul, taking away most of what had been burdening him. "You weren't a lost cause! There was hope! You changed! You…"
"I am at peace." He finished the other's sentence. "Thank you, Koushiro."
"I'm so glad!" Koushiro said, beaming.
"Too bad you won't remember any of this." The other commented, sadly.
"There's no way I would forget this!" Koushiro affirmed.
"The creator is already in your head. He has access to your thoughts and memories." He explained. "Soon, you won't be able to remember anything at all about yourself. Wisemon will turn you into whatever he wants."
"No, that's… impossible…" Koushiro didn't want to believe in the other. "I'm not going to forget about my life! That would never happen!"
"Really?" The other inquired. "Then, what did your parents tell you after you told them you'd go back to the Digital World?"
"I just told you that!"
"Tell me again. See if you remember."
"My mother was sad and…" Koushiro began to say, expecting the words to flow naturally. But they didn't. He tried to think about that conversation, but it felt like he was chasing after shadows. The more he tried to remember, the harder it was to retrieve anything. Not only did their words get lost in the valley of his memory, but Koushiro also couldn't recall the sound of their voices. When he tried to picture them in his mind, he couldn't discern his parent's faces.
"W-What' happening to me?" Koushiro asked, terrified. "My parents, I can't… it's like they're slipping away from me! My memories of them are vanishing! Make this stop! Please, make this stop! I don't want to forget them!"
"You still have some time left before you forget them completely." The other said. "Then, it'll be your friends' turn to be forgotten."
"No!" Koushiro cried. "I can't let this happen! I can't forget them! I don't want that! I don't want to forget!"
The boy began to sob uncontrollably. He needed to think on a plan to stop himself from forgetting. Maybe if he wrote down everything he could remember about his life and the people in it… it could work. He would just need to open a document in his computer. That had to work!
"I know this isn't enough to pay you back, Koushiro. But let me tell you something not even the creator can take away from your mind."
The other approached the boy and held his face with both hands. He got close to his ear and whispered:
"You can't allow Sora, Tentomon or Piyomon to get hurt."
"Are they in danger?" Koushiro was confused. "Is it Wisemon? Is he going to hurt them?"
"You need Sora to stay by your side; you need her help." The other continued, ignoring the boy's questions. "As long as Sora is with you, everything will be fine and you'll have nothing to fear."
"Why Sora-san?" Koushiro asked in a murmur. A theory came to his mind as he remembered something Hikari had said to the older girl in their last confrontation. "Don't tell me…"
The other took a step back and looked into the boy's eyes. He smiled and concluded:
"Sora is the only one who can undo your end."
First, Gomamon and Jyou had fallen. Right after, Mimi, Palmon and Picodevimon did the same. Then, Gabumon fell and Patamon evolved to Angemon. Takeru had gone with his partner after him. Sora told Houomon to turn back. She needed to go after them, she needed to save them. Suddenly, a blue light came from above and they couldn't move even one muscle. Sora couldn't breathe. Her sight growing dark was the last thing she remembered before fainting.
Sora woke up in a dark room. The floor was cold like stone. Piyomon and Tentomon were asleep close by. Agumon wasn't around; maybe he had fallen too. A few steps away, Koushiro was sitting on the floor with his back turned to her. He had the computer turned on; the light of the screen was the only thing illuminating that space. She stood up and approached the boy. He wasn't working on anything, just staring at an empty open document on his computer's screen with a blank expression.
"Koushiro-kun?" She called, but he didn't answer. She touched his shoulder and called him again, louder. Startled, he turned to her.
"Sorry, I hadn't noticed you!" Koushiro sounded alarmed.
"What were you doing?" She asked, pointing to the empty document.
"I wanted to write something down… it had to do with a dream I had…" Koushiro muttered, furrowing his eyebrows. "But I can't remember what the dream was about; I can't recall any detail of it…"
"Do you have a habit of writing your dreams down?" Sora asked, finding that interesting.
"No, I never do that." Koushiro answered. "But that wasn't an ordinary dream. The first thing I did when I woke up here was to turn on the computer… I needed to write it down so I wouldn't forget. It was something important. But now I have no idea what it was."
"Hey, don't feel bad about it! It was just a dream!" Sora tried to comfort him.
"Yeah… I think you're right…" Koushiro murmured, not seeming convinced.
His anxious expression made her heart ache. And she was already worried about too many things.
"Were the others brought here as well?" She asked in low voice, looking around to try to spot something in the darkness.
"I don't think so." Koushiro replied, sadly. "But they could be okay. We know that two of their partners can fly. Maybe Gomamon's ultimate form can fly too. We don't know how high we were… maybe the fall wasn't such a big deal. Besides, Hikari-san wanted to protect us; I don't think she would let us die."
"Do you really think so…?" Sora asked in a soft voice, bracing herself. "You don't have to try to be optimistic for my sake."
"You know Hikari-san better than I do." Koushiro told her. "I know she wasn't listening to us and she did that to our partners but-"
"She wouldn't let us die, willingly. Hikari-chan would never do that, no matter how angry and lost she was…" Sora interrupted. "But she wasn't well enough to do anything for us, was she?"
"Hikari-san could still protect us even if subconsciously." Koushiro theorized. "The other me's powers weren't completely under his control. He did many things not because he consciously wanted but because of the emotions that ran deep within him, emotions that mirrored his true self and conflicted with what he believed to be his will. I'm only alive now because a part of him protected me in his inner world. If Hikari-san really cares for us, considering that she's Fate now, her powers might be operating accordingly to her deepest emotions and who she truly is in her core, instead of following a logic twisted by anger."
Sora stared at him for a few moments, amazed at how insightful and wise he had grown to be. His words gave her some relief. Koushiro understood how Fate operated better than she did, the girl should trust his judgment on the subject. It was better to believe that their friends were fine.
But then, Sora remembered that Koushiro couldn't be fine after everything that had happened to him.
"Do you want to talk about Fate?" She asked.
"Haven't we talked already?" He muttered, looking at the computer screen. "I've already told you that I'm fine."
"You said that because Taichi was around and you didn't want to make him more concerned, right?" Sora questioned. "You don't have to hide your feelings from me. We both know doing that doesn't end well for us."
Koushiro stayed silent for almost one whole minute. Then, he turned to Sora. His eyes had a tearful glow.
"I had the opportunity to save him." The boy murmured. "I was really close to do that… maybe, if I had the chance to talk to him at least once more, things could've turned out differently. It wasn't his fault that he became like that. I thought there was a chance… I thought I could help him to have peace… I really wanted to do that… I was hopeful, but then everything went to Hell. Now, he's lost forever. Maybe there was never hope for him and I was just being stupid."
"Of course you weren't being stupid!" Sora contested, sitting by his side. "It's hard for people like us to be kind and forgiving to ourselves. I really admire you for putting effort in trying to help that guy. I wish it had ended better for you two."
The girl trembled, imagining what had happened to Fate. Although she resented that alternative version of Koushiro for messing with Hikari, she couldn't hate him. In her eyes, the real culprit in that entire situation was Wisemon. That heartless creature that murdered a child and turned him into a machine didn't deserve mercy or forgiveness. Her blood boiled and her body shivered when she thought about him. Sora didn't know what she would do if she ever encountered Wisemon again, but it couldn't possibly be anything good.
The deep hatred she felt for that monster reminded her of something Kanda had said: you only knew you truly loved someone when you saw the person wronged, and you suffered as if their pain was your own. Sora knew that she cared deeply about her friends, but maybe her feelings for Koushiro had evolved to something different, perhaps because of how close they had grown after the dark orb incident. Or perhaps because Sora had found out they were cousins.
Sora didn't like to think that her affection for Koushiro had grown just because she had discovered that they were related. Their bond was already special before that. But ever since learning the truth, a warm feeling emerged from the bottom of her heart as she imagined how their relationship could change from that moment on. It would be nice to have him as a bigger part of her life. Maybe, he would feel the same way.
"Say, Koushiro-kun… did your parents tell you something about your biological parents' families?" Sora asked. "Like… if you had uncles or something…?"
Koushiro glanced at her, furrowing his eyebrows.
"My parents…" Koushiro began to say, closing his eyes. He seemed to be putting effort to concentrate on something. "They… they told me that my biological mother had an older brother called Haruhiko, who was married and had a kid." The boy said in a whisper. His face was growing paler. "There was something about… that man not having the ability to raise me... my parents said… what did they say…? What did they…? My parents…"
"It's okay; you don't have to tell me the details." Sora muttered, scratching her head while looking away from the boy. She assumed that was a delicate subject for him and he didn't feel comfortable talking about it. However, she wouldn't give up yet. "Let's say that you ran into him or that you knew someone who knew him… and that you were presented with the chance of meeting your uncle… would you want to meet him? What about his kid? Would you like to meet your cousin?"
Koushiro massaged his temples for a few seconds. Then, he looked at Sora.
"You know him, don't you?" The boy asked.
Sora gasped and stared at him, astonished.
"I remember Hikari-san taunting you about how the other me…" Koushiro began to say. He suddenly stopped talking and frowned. Sweat began to roll from his face. The boy took a trembling hand to his eyes, covering them, and began to inhale loudly.
"Is everything alright? Are you feeling sick?" Sora asked, disturbed by his behavior.
"Don't worry about me… it must be nothing… it's going to pass…" He murmured.
"What do you mean?! What are you feeling?!" Sora was getting agitated.
"Hikari-san told you that he had never stopped loving you despite…" Koushiro continued to say, ignoring Sora's questions. He contracted his eyebrows and gritted his teeth, as if he was feeling pain. "Haruhiko-san didn't want to take him in after..."
"Koushiro-kun, what are you feeling? You're worrying me!" Sora told the boy. "Please, tell me what's going on!"
"He's your father, isn't he?" Koushiro managed to ask, uncovering his eyes. His face relaxed and his breathing was normalizing. The boy seemed to be relieved, for some reason. "That's the best explanation for why Hikari-san said that to you… Haruhiko-san is your father…"
Sora stayed silent for a few seconds, recovering from the emotional distress Koushiro had just put her through. Nevertheless, she was impressed that he had deduced all that from what Hikari had said to the older girl. He was still looking at her, probably expecting a confirmation. She glanced down.
"Yes. He's my father." Sora said in an apologetic tone. "I've just found out today. I know it was wrong of him to not take care of you, but he was deeply traumatized by Aunt Ame's death. The reason why he moved to Kyoto and almost doesn't spend time in Tokyo is because it's too painful for him to be reminded of his sister. It's not like he's a bad person, he just-"
"It's okay." Koushiro interrupted her, trying to smile. "You don't need to explain anything to me."
"But you have the right to know!" Sora protested.
"He didn't want me, I understand." Koushiro said, looking back at his computer. "I had intuited that already. It's not your fault, Sora-san. You don't need to stress yourself about it."
"My father is really sorry about what he did." Sora assured the boy. "He wants to make amends and he's open to talk to you."
"Sora-san, listen..." Koushiro muttered. "To be honest, I'm not really interested in seeing or talking to your father."
"Oh…" Sora let out a disappointed sigh. "It's okay... you don't have to do anything you don't want to do..."
"I'm sorry." Koushiro said, looking down.
"Don't apologize." Sora told him. "I'm not going to judge you. I know that it's not easy to forgive what he did. You shouldn't feel obliged to do that. I understand, really."
"It's not like I hate him. I don't actually know your father." Koushiro explained. "Maybe someday I might feel comfortable in getting in touch with him, I don't know. But I'm dealing with too many things right now. Like... like…"
The boy frowned again. He scratched his head anxiously and closed his eyes.
"I understand." Sora said, smiling. She was relieved that Koushiro didn't outright reject her father or her. He just needed some time to think things through. "You know? I never had a cousin before. Finding out that we're related was shocking, but I'm glad. Once we go back home, we could hang out more. It could be nice..."
"Sora-san…" Koushiro spoke in low voice, showing her a concerned expression.
"What?" Sora asked, worried. "Is there something wrong?"
The boy hesitated for a few seconds, before asking:
"What are you expecting from me, Sora-san?"
"What do you mean?" Sora inquired.
Koushiro looked away.
"I like you a lot." He murmured. "You're one of my closest friends, Sora-san. But… I'm not sure if I can suddenly start treating you as something else. I-I don't know how to be someone's cousin, I don't know how I should behave…" Koushiro's voice was getting higher as his nervousness grew. "I don't know if I would be a good cousin!"
"Hey, hey, it's okay, calm down!" Sora told him, holding the boy's hands. "You don't have to be so self-conscious or force yourself to act differently. I don't want you stressing yourself out about this."
"B-But…"
"I care a lot about you, Koushiro-kun, independent of us being cousins!" Sora assured him, smiling. "I don't want you to feel pressured or uncomfortable. It's okay if you don't want me to be part of your family."
"That's not what I meant!" Koushiro stated, looking into her eyes. His cheeks were very red. "It'd be an honor for anyone to have you in the family!"
That statement made Sora blush.
"I can say the same to you!" She told him. "You're amazing! Anyone would be happy to have you as a cousin! I certainly am!"
Koushiro blushed more fiercely and glanced down, freeing his hands from her grip. The boy scratched his head and muttered:
"Do you want me to start calling you something else? Like… something more appropriate? Would you like that?"
"You mean like 'Nee-chan?'" Sora asked in a teasing tone.
"N-Not something so informal!" Koushiro nearly shouted in embarrassment, looking again at the girl.
"Sorry, I couldn't resist." She apologized, giggling. "You don't need to worry about calling me anything specific. If anything, we could drop honorifics with each other."
Koushiro paled at the suggestion. The girl feared that she had offended him by accident.
"You don't have to do that if you don't want." Sora assured. "I know that you like to be polite and use honorifics with everybody."
"I don't… actually like that." Koushiro confessed. "It was a way for me to keep my distance from other people… because of my self-loathing. I… would like to be able to stop using honorifics. At least once, at least for one person… it'd be nice…"
Sora felt tears coming to her eyes. She wished she had noticed earlier how lonely Koushiro was and done something about it. The girl thought about how he used to hang out with her and Taichi and saw how they treated each other without honorifics. Could Koushiro have envied them in those moments? Maybe if she had dropped the formal treatment with him… but Taichi had done that and the younger boy kept on calling him using "san." But back then, Koushiro hadn't yet come to analyze and understand himself. He was trapped too deeply in his distorted reality to see Taichi reaching out to him as a desire to connect. But things had changed; Sora knew that better than anyone. Koushiro was a different person, he was more willing to open up and get close to other people.
"You can call me anything that will make you comfortable, Koushiro." She said with a large smile.
Koushiro's eyes widened. He hesitated to say anything for a while. When the boy opened his mouth again, he whispered:
"Thank you… S-"
"Aaawwwnnn!"
That interjection made the two children turn around. Piyomon and Tentomon were watching them.
"Keep going! It was cute!" Piyomon said.
"You interrupted Koushiro-han's phrase, Piyomon!" Tentomon spoke with annoyance in his voice. "Now we'll never know if he was going to drop the honorific!"
"We can just ask him!" Piyomon pointed out.
"We can't! If he wasn't going to drop the honorific, we would make him feel bad!" Tentomon contested.
"H-How l-long h-have you…?!" Koushiro stuttered. His face was completely red.
"Since the beginning of the cousin talk." Piyomon replied, giggling.
"Y-You shouldn't have spied on us!" Sora scolded them, turning bright red too.
"You two kind of look alike now!" Tentomon commented.
"We should've figured out you two were related a long time ago!" Piyomon added.
"Come on, knock it off! Both of you!" Sora told them, feeling even more blood running to her face. "You're making Koushiro-kun… I mean, you're making Koushiro uncomfortable! Right, Koushiro?"
She turned to him, expecting confirmation. The boy was no longer blushing, nor did he seem to be nervous or uncomfortable in any way. Koushiro was quietly staring at the ground with dead eyes; his face didn't show any emotion.
"Koushiro-kun?" Sora called him again, touching his shoulder and slightly shaking him. The boy didn't react. "Koushiro!"
"Koushiro-han, what's the matter?" Tentomon asked, starting to panic. "Talk to me, Koushiro-han!"
The boy blinked and looked at the others with confusion.
"Did something happen?" He questioned.
"You tell us! You just froze there for a moment!" Piyomon told him.
"We kept calling you but you didn't respond." Sora informed.
"Are you okay, Koushiro-han?" Tentomon's voice was full of concern.
"Y-Yes, sorry!" Koushiro replied, closing his eyes to massage his temples. "I don't know what happened… I think I spaced out…"
"Did you get distracted by something?" Sora asked. She knew that it was common for Koushiro to forget what was happening around him when he was working or thinking on something else. "What were you thinking about just now?"
He opened his eyes and looked at her with apprehension.
"I don't remember…" Koushiro said in a frightened murmur. "Just like the dream I had, I can't recall anything… not even one detail…"
"Hey, there's no reason to be worried." Sora tried to cheer him up. "Forgetting dreams and losing track of thoughts are things that happen to everyone."
Koushiro paled intensely and looked at her with guilt. He closed his eyes and pondered about something for a moment. When he looked at her again, the boy had a resigned expression, as if he had just made a difficult decision.
"It's not just that…" Koushiro confessed, sounding afraid. "There's something going on with me since I woke up. I thought… I wanted to believe that it was just momentary confusion and was going to pass soon. And then we began to talk about something else and… I didn't want to worry you. I thought it was going to pass… that I was going to be okay… but I think it's getting worse. It's getting worse fast… it's frightening me…"
"Are you feeling sick, Koushiro-han?" Tentomon asked, concerned.
"I knew there was something wrong! Why haven't you said so sooner?" Sora inquired, getting her gray backpack to search for the first-aid kit. "I have some medicine here. What are you feeling?"
Koushiro hugged his knees against his chest and hid his face on them.
"There are things I'm having trouble remembering." The boy said in low voice. "I-I'm trying to remember, I'm trying really hard to remember them… but it's getting more difficult… it's like I'm trying to hold water… it keeps escaping from me, no matter how much I try to retain it…"
Sora wasn't expecting a problem of that gravity. She didn't think there was anything in her first-aid kit that could help with memory loss. Did Koushiro hit his head, maybe? He needed to see a doctor, but there wasn't any around. Not even Jyou was there. What should she do? Sora didn't know where they were or how to escape. But she had to think on something fast. She had to take him out and seek help for him. The situation reminded her of when Koushiro got injured after their first confrontation with Devimon. But there wasn't any miraculous lake nearby to fix everything.
"Koushiro-han, what are you having trouble to remember?" Tentomon asked, trying to sound calm.
"My parents…" Koushiro murmured.
"What about them?" Tentomon insisted.
"I don't remember anything about them!" Koushiro replied, trembling. "It began with details and then… now I don't remember what they look like anymore… how they sound… what their personalities are… why can't I remember? They're my parents! What's wrong with me?"
Sora felt as if her heart had fallen to her stomach. Koushiro's terrified cries were unbearable to her. She didn't know what was happening to him or how to help him. What was she supposed to say to calm him down? What should she do?
She should've realized sooner that something was wrong. Sora had noticed that he looked sick earlier! But then she forgot about it because she wanted to talk about them being related. Because of her selfishness, the girl hadn't realized how serious the situation was. She hadn't noticed the gravity of what was happening right in front of her eyes. And Koushiro was trying to hide it, so she wouldn't be worried! Why did he have to act like that? Why did he have to prioritize her over himself? If they had acted sooner… but what would they have been able to do? What difference would it have made to know earlier? Sora would've been just as lost and desperate, wouldn't she? She would've been just as powerless!
"Do I really have parents?" Koushiro wondered in an almost inaudible voice. He looked up to Tentomon and then to Sora. His lips were trembling and his wide open eyes were brimmed with tears. "If I can't remember them, how do I know they exist?"
"You have parents, Koushiro-han! They love you a lot! And you love them too!" Tentomon tried to remind the boy. "Your father seemed like a nice person! Your mother had some issues, but she loves you deeply and played violin to you! They didn't want to let you go to the Digital World but trusted you in the end! Remember how you told them that you had to go because Taichi-han's sister was in trouble?"
Koushiro looked at Tentomon with a puzzled expression.
"Who is this 'Taichi-han' you just mentioned?" The boy asked.
Sora felt horror overtake her. That couldn't be happening. She got closer to Koushiro to better examine his face. He seemed to be genuinely clueless, as if he had no idea who Taichi was.
"Taichi befriended you in your first day in the soccer club." Sora told the boy. She tried to speak clearly despite the immense pain eating her from the inside. "He introduced us to each other, the three of us used to spend time together. R-Remember?" Her voice was breaking. "He loved to listen to the smart things you said… I could tell Taichi was happy for having you as his friend, Koushiro. He adored you… and you were happy to be his friend too! It was obvious how much you cared for him, the way you looked at him and smiled at him… Taichi is very important to you! You can't have forgotten him!"
"I'm sorry…" Koushiro murmured. His face emanated pure guilt as a couple of tears fell from his eyes. "H-How could I forget someone so important…? W-Why?"
"Who do you still remember?" Sora had urgency in her voice. "Do you remember Jyou-sempai? He has been your neighbor for years! He protected you from Fate! You must remember him!"
Koushiro denied with his head, letting more tears fall.
"W-What about Mimi-chan?" Sora asked in a faltering voice. "And Takeru-kun?"
"I'm so sorry… I'm s-so sorry… I'm…" Koushiro sobbed, hiding his face with both hands.
His partner approached him slowly.
"Koushiro-han…" Tentomon spoke in a fearful voice. "You… still remember me, right? Please, tell me you know who I am, Koushiro-han… please…"
The boy uncovered his face and gave him a pained look.
"You're important to me…" Koushiro said, furrowing his eyebrows. "I think I made you cry a lot… and I felt guilty about it. I… I wanted to make you happy and be good for you. I know that you care for me deeply and that I care for you… right? Is that right?"
Tentomon stayed still for a moment, not looking away from his partner.
"What's my name, Koushiro-han?" He asked. "Do you remember my name?"
"I…" Koushiro whispered in terror. "I have to… I know you! I know that I know you and that you're important to me… I have to know your name! I…" He closed his eyes and held his head with both hands. Koushiro trembled and spoke through gritted teeth. "Just give me a second! I'm going to remember! I couldn't have forgotten! Not you! I wouldn't allow myself to forget your name! I have to… I have to remember… I have to…"
Tentomon took a few steps back. Tears appeared in the corners of the bug's eyes. Piyomon went to him and tried to hug the other digimon, but Tentomon didn't let her. He covered his head with his arms and let out a loud pained groan. Piyomon patted his back, not knowing what else to do. The desperation in his voice was heart-shattering.
"How could I do this to you? How could I…? I'm awful… I'm so awful…" Koushiro cried, looking at Tentomon. "I'm so sorry…"
Koushiro was about to stand up to go to Tentomon, but Sora gently held him by the wrist, silently asking him to stay with her. She didn't know what to do or what to say. Maybe she felt that if she didn't let go of him, a part of Koushiro would still remain with her. Sora wanted to cling to that with all her forces.
"You're someone that worries a lot about me, right?" Koushiro asked in a weak voice, looking at Sora. "I think… we talked about important… intimate things… we found out we were alike… I remember you opening a door and pulling me to a tight hug… we cried at each other's shoulders and you told me something that made me feel better… and I did the same to you, didn't I? I remember feeling so safe and reassured when you hugged me… I was sure that everything would be fine if you stayed with me. Miss… you're my friend, right? You can help me, can't you? Please, help me… please… I don't want to forget… I don't want to forget…"
Her vision was blurred by tears. She felt her heart break more at every second that passed.
Sora pulled him to a hug and let him cry on her shoulder. She covered her mouth with a hand, trying to muffle her sobs. The boy she had known, the friend that had become so precious to her, the cousin she had gained… he was disappearing. She didn't know why that was happening or how to stop it. Sora only knew she was losing him. She was losing Koushiro and could do nothing about it. Yet, he was asking her for help. He didn't remember her name, but trusted her to save him. He didn't know her. Koushiro had no idea who Sora was. Why did he think there was something she could do?
Suddenly, Koushiro interrupted the hug. Without looking at anyone or saying any word, the boy approached his computer and closed it, leaving everybody enveloped by darkness. Even without being able to see him, Sora heard the boy standing up.
"I need to go towards the light." Koushiro said in low voice, starting to run.
Sora turned to the direction of the footsteps and saw a weak blue point of light in the distance.
"That wasn't there before…" Piyomon murmured behind Sora.
"Where is Koushiro-han going? What is he doing?" Tentomon asked, flying after the boy.
This can't be good, Sora thought. They had been brought to that place by a mysterious blue light like the one the boy was chasing. That had to be a trap. Why would he do such a dangerous thing, even if he had forgotten what had happened? Koushiro had never been the kind of person to make decisions on a whim. Something was wrong. She had to stop the boy.
"Piyomon, please, shoot fire upwards so I can see." Sora asked. Her partner did as she said.
In that glimpse of clarity, Sora picked up the boy's digivice, which was stuck on the computer backpack, and put it in her pocket. She rose to her feet and ran towards the boy, who had Tentomon flying by his side. The girl ran to him, knowing that because her legs were longer and stronger than Koushiro's, she would be able to catch up with him quickly.
Piyomon followed the girl, shooting fire upwards to light the way. Koushiro was a few steps from a hovering blue orb when Sora jumped on him and knocked him to the ground.
"Let me go! I need to go towards the light!" Koushiro shouted, trying to break free from Sora.
The girl, however, held his arms down and tried to immobilize his legs with hers.
"Why did you decide to do this out of nowhere?" She inquired. "This thing has to be a trap! You can't touch it!"
"I HAVE TO OBEY!" Koushiro screamed.
"Obey…?" Sora asked, astonished. "Obey who? Who's controlling you?"
The boy took advantage of her shock to free one of his arms and push her to the side, which made Sora lose her balance. Piyomon hurried to the girl. Tentomon didn't know how to react. Before Sora could shout "Stop, Koushiro," the boy had already stood up and tapped the blue orb.
The weak blue light became intense and spread everywhere.
Sora recognized the feeling of not being able to move or to breathe.
"Stay still!"
That sounded like one of his own thoughts. It kept repeating itself in his mind. He couldn't resist it. Because of that, Koushiro couldn't escape from that armchair, despite not being tied to it.
Across from Koushiro, sitting on a golden throne behind a luxurious desk, Wisemon was manipulating a floating transparent bubble, inside which a hand mirror could be seen.
"Tell me where your digivice is." Wisemon ordered.
That command reverberated in Koushiro's mind as if it was one of the boy's thoughts. A thought he was compelled to obey.
"I left it in that dark space with my computer." The boy answered.
"Good. It won't be a problem there." Wisemon said, admiring the object in the bubble. "I was never fond of the concept of luck before, but I can't explain the acquisition of this mirror in any other way. When you threw this in that lake, you were giving yourself to me. And you had no idea. It's quite funny."
"I don't remember doing that…" Koushiro muttered.
"Of course not. You remember very little now, right?" He asked. "And once I finish reprogramming you, you won't remember anything from that old life of yours."
"I don't want to forget… don't do this to me… please, don't do this to me…" Koushiro asked, trembling in fear.
"Wow, hearing you begging really takes me back!" Wisemon commented. "I had gone through the trouble of putting sedative in his tea, but he didn't bother to drink everything. It was his own fault that he woke up right before the procedure. I couldn't just stop everything and sedate him again; it'd be too inconvenient. But if I knew that was going to cause those glitches and that entire problem… I guess I expected too much from you, Koushiro."
He stood up and walked around the desk, taking the bubble with him. When Wisemon was close enough to Koushiro, he held the boy's chin and made him lift the head. Koushiro was forced to look at those horrible yellow eyes that sent chills through his body.
"All I wanted was to create the perfect security system for the Digital World." Wisemon said. "Something magnificent that would surpass flawed deities I had encountered in so many universes. I was convinced that it wasn't enough to create a machine that only acted based on logic. It needed a moral compass, high intelligence, well-balanced emotions, a sense of duty, empathy for all living things. The first time I met you, Koushiro, I had the best possible impression of you. You fit everything I wanted for my creation. So, of course, I gave you the honor of serving as the base of my Homeostasis. And how did you repay me for that privilege?"
His hold on the boy's chin became tighter. The child's scared eyes were flooded with tears.
"You were my biggest disappointment, Koushiro. Apologize for being a disappointment." Wisemon told him.
"I'm s-sorry for being a d-disappointment…" Koushiro said, against his will. He didn't know why but he felt an unbearable rejection towards that person. It was something deeper than fear. Was it disgust? Resentment? Was it hatred, perhaps? His instincts yelled at him to get as far away from Wisemon as possible. But the boy had to stay where he was. He had no other choice.
"Say that right." Wisemon ordered. "Address me at the end of your apology with the respect I deserve."
Koushiro tried to resist that command. He fought his hardest. But it was pointless.
"I'm sorry for being a disappointment…" Koushiro said, feeling hot tears rolling from his eyes, "… Wisemon-sama."
"That's better!" Wisemon spoke with satisfaction. "Now that you know your place, things will go a lot smoother."
He released the boy's chin and patted his head.
The child was overwhelmed by shame and anger, which made him forget his fear for a moment. Koushiro trembled so fiercely that he thought he was going to have a convulsion.
"I hate you…" Koushiro managed to say, after a lot of struggle. It felt liberating to let those words out. "I hate you so much… I hate you… I hate you!"
"That's going to pass." Wisemon told him, still patting the boy's head. "You have a lot to learn. But I'll teach you well. In the end, you'll be very grateful to me. I'll make you experience happiness like you never did before. You don't deserve this kindness, Koushiro, but I'm granting it to you anyway. I'm so generous. Thank me for my generosity."
Once again, the boy tried to resist, but got the same result.
"T-Thank you for your g-generosity, Wisemon-sama…"
"Now, I'm going to finish reprogramming you and then we'll get rid of those three nuisances." Wisemon said, letting go of Koushiro and putting both hands around the floating bubble. "Since I'm feeling generous, I might allow them to see my real form. Do you think Sora is going to be impressed?"
"Who's Sora…?" Koushiro asked in a weak voice. His head felt lighter as his thoughts and memories were ripped out of him.
Wisemon smirked before replying:
"Nobody important."
The girl woke up inside a glowing blue circle drawn on the floor. Piyomon and Tentomon were also awake and close to her. They were on a corridor, between two enormous shelves filled with books and strange objects.
Koushiro was standing out of the circle, looking at them with a blank expression. The boy kept his hands behind his body.
"Koushiro!" Sora called him, standing up. She stretched an arm in his direction, but touched an invisible barrier.
"He's not going to answer, Sora." Piyomon told her friend. "It's like he can't hear or see us…"
"I know this place." The bug digimon murmured. "We're inside Wisemon's carriage. That guy…" Tentomon spoke with disgust and anger, "Wisemon is responsible for whatever is happening to Koushiro-han!"
"Wisemon?" Sora asked, feeling something burn her from the inside. She looked at Koushiro's expressionless face again. The boy seemed to be in a trance. "What did he do to you?" She questioned, hitting the barrier with her clenched fists. "WHAT DID THAT DEMON DO TO YOU?"
"Demon is a completely different digimon." A grave voice said, coming from all directions.
"The voice from my nightmare…" Tentomon murmured, scared.
"Nightmare?" Piyomon asked. "Do you mean the one you had in the underground temple, after we ate those golden apples?"
"We have to get Koushiro-han out of here now!" Tentomon yelled, shooting electricity against the barrier, but it absorbed his attack. "It's Wisemon! The voice from my nightmare was his! He's going to hurt Koushiro-han! I have to stop him!"
"Wasn't his voice high-pitched, though?" Piyomon asked.
"He could be faking it to sound harmless!" Tentomon told her. "This is the voice from my nightmare! And we're in Wisemon's carriage! It has to be him!"
"Oh, right." The voice continued. "I remember when you told Koushiro about that nightmare during that touching reunion on Raven's Canyon. How did you describe it? Koushiro had vanished surrounded by pieces of glass? And I had said that he was going to bring himself his own end, right? Well… he did throw the mirror into Asclepius Fountain, where I found it later, so… I suppose it fits."
A digimon materialized behind them, outside of the circle. His body was a long floating mirror adorned with golden pieces. He was wearing a green robe with golden details at its extremity, which touched the ground; the robe's long sleeves moved, but there weren't arms visible in them. White cloth covered the front of his face, except for the glowing yellow eyes. He was wearing a pointy green hat that had a silver adorn that resembled a balance, which had a crescent moon on one plate and a full moon on the other.
Between the two sleeves, as if his invisible hands were holding it, there was a transparent bubble with a hand mirror with a pearl at its top inside it. Sora recognized the object she had suggested Koushiro to throw in the lake of the underground temple some time before. But unlike that time, the mirror was now complete.
"Wisemon!" Tentomon shouted, punching the barrier. "You're using that mirror to mess with Koushiro-han's mind! Why can't you leave him alone?!"
"Koushiro and I have an unfinished business that has lasted more than entire universes. I can't leave him alone until I have back what's mine." He explained. "By the way, when I'm in this form, you should call me Ancient Wisemon."
"I don't give a damn about what you want to call yourself!" Sora roared. "Let Koushiro go! Now!"
"Oh my, are you under the impression that he wants to go?" Ancient Wisemon inquired. He looked beyond Sora and the couple of digimon, to where Koushiro was standing. "My boy, what would make you the happiest?"
Koushiro beamed and his eyes shone with enthusiasm when he answered:
"I am the happiest by serving Ancient Wisemon-sama!"
"What?!" Sora shouted, turning around to look at the boy.
"Koushiro-han, why would you say something like that?!" Tentomon inquired. "Wisemon tricked and murdered the other you! And he's going to hurt you as well! He's the most evil digimon that exists!"
"Wow! That was harsh!" Ancient Wisemon commented. "I think I probably should inform you that you're just wasting your time trying to talk to him. I programmed Koushiro not to be able to listen to anything that contradicts what I've established as his past."
"Programmed…?" Sora murmured in horror.
"You brainwashed him?!" Piyomon asked, shocked.
"What did you mean by… what you've established as his past?" Tentomon questioned, but he sounded like he was afraid of the answer.
"Well, he can answer that last question." Ancient Wisemon said, looking at Koushiro once more. "Tell them about your life, my boy."
Koushiro replied:
"My parents abandoned me when I was a baby and Ancient Wisemon-sama raised me. He cared for me, protected me and taught me everything I know. I live to repay him for his kindness and to make his wishes come true. His happiness is my happiness."
"Now, tell them how you feel about me." The ultimate level monster ordered.
Still bearing an immense smile, Koushiro said:
"I love Ancient Wisemon-sama more than anything in the world!"
Sora felt as if she had been punched in the stomach and was unable to recover the air that had escaped her. She thought that her knees would give in at any second and that she would certainly fall. Nevertheless, she kept standing, undisturbed by Tentomon cries by her side. She stared at Koushiro without blinking. There wasn't any trace of negative feelings left in him. The boy wasn't concerned, scared, doubtful or upset. She had never seen that child or anyone in a state like that before. He was in absolute bliss.
That sight was revolting.
"This isn't love!" Sora stated, feeling hot tears coming to her eyes. "Love isn't something you can force on someone! It's not a tool to enslave others!"
"Love is caused by chemical reactions. It's easily replicable by someone knowledgeable enough." Ancient Wisemon affirmed. "And nobody is more knowledgeable than me."
"No!" Sora reiterated. "What you're making him feel isn't real! Your lies can't compare to the real sentiment!"
"Sora-han's right!" Tentomon roared, glaring at Ancient Wisemon. "This coward trick is bound to fail! There's no way you can deceive Koushiro-han's heart forever!"
"His feelings for his friends are too strong!" Piyomon said. "You can't take them from him!"
"Oh, really?" Ancient Wisemon sounded amused. "My boy, target the girl with orange hair with the gun I gave you and say 'Lock on;' let's see if dying will change her mind."
"Gun?!" Tentomon and Piyomon shouted at the same time. Koushiro was no longer hiding his hands behind his body, but pointing a gun against Sora.
"Is this really necessary?" The boy asked, showing concern.
"Obey my command!" Ancient Wisemon ordered.
Once again, Koushiro acquired a blank expression. His dead eyes were fixated on Sora. However, he didn't do anything.
"What are you waiting for?" Ancient Wisemon inquired.
"I can't allow them to get hurt." Koushiro replied, mechanically.
"What the…?" The ultimate level digimon didn't seem to understand what was happening. "I have the mirror! You shouldn't be able to disobey me!"
"Koushiro-han is resisting!" Tentomon said, hopeful.
"It's not that." Sora contested. "It doesn't look like he's choosing to do this."
"No…" Ancient Wisemon murmured, looking at the bubble with the mirror. "Did Homeostasis give him a command? When did this happen?"
"Homeostasis?" Piyomon asked. "You mean Fate?"
"He's alive?" Tentomon couldn't believe it. "He wasn't killed… he's safe! The other Koushiro-han is safe! Is he inside the mirror?"
"Don't get your hopes up; all I have is a back-up of my creation's memory." Ancient Wisemon explained. "To think that faulty computer program would pull such a trick… Koushiro is not allowed to let you get hurt, huh? Such problematic phrasing. Better not to take risks."
The ultimate level digimon made a movement that resembled a wave of his invisible hand. After that, the bubble disappeared. Then, his body mirror shone.
"I don't have to kill you three, just to lock you in my inner dimension." Ancient Wisemon said.
"I need Sora to stay by my side. I need her help." Koushiro spoke in the same mechanical tone.
Sora had to look away from the boy, feeling her heart getting heavy. That wasn't how she wanted for him to drop honorifics with her. But then she looked at the boy again. Fate or whatever still remained of him had been the one to put those commands in Koushiro's mind. Because of that, their lives were spared. She couldn't understand the reason behind that, but Fate wanted her to stay by the boy's side. If it was really true what Hikari had told her, if Fate had really loved Sora as a cousin and never blamed the girl for Haruhiko's wrong doings, then that meant that Fate trusted her to find a way out.
"Seriously? This little girl?" Ancient Wisemon asked. "Not Koushiro's partner, not this girl and her partner, just this single feeble child?! That's the plan? What could you possibly hope to achieve with this nonsense, Homeostasis?"
The ultimate level monster laughed. He made his body mirror's light envelope Tentomon and Piyomon, who were then sucked into the reflective object. Sora tried to hold her partner, but wasn't able to stop her from being taken away.
Afterwards, Ancient Wisemon made the blue circle trapping Sora disappear. With a movement from his invisible left arm, Sora's digivice flew from the girl's belt to him. Apparently, he hadn't noticed that Koushiro's digivice was in her pocket.
"It's over, girl." He told her. "Your best option is to give up. Who knows? Maybe you can enjoy being my servant too."
Sora looked from the ultimate level digimon to Koushiro, who was still in a trance. She was alone. Nobody was coming to help. Sora was the only hope the boy had to be saved. She felt like crying, but resisted the urge. Sora couldn't afford to break down. Not before finding a way to help the boy.
Koushiro came back to his senses.
He was still holding the gun, but the two child level digimon were nowhere to be seen. The girl with orange hair gave him an intense look that he couldn't decipher.
The gun flew from his hand towards his master. A strange little machine the boy had never seen in his life was hovering above the digimon's empty sleeve. Then, both objects vanished.
"Those digimon were put away, don't think about them anymore." Ancient Wisemon told him. "This girl is going to have to stick around for a while."
"Really? Is she a new servant?" Koushiro asked, excitedly turning to her. "It'll be nice to have company! I am Koushiro. What's your name?"
A tearful glow was visible in her eyes, but she smiled.
"I'm Sora." She said, getting closer to him. "I'm going to help you. I don't know how, yet. But I promise I'll find a way to help you."
"Thank you! You're very kind!" Koushiro told her. "I need to catalogue the books in section F; you can help me with that if you want."
Her lips trembled before and after she replied:
"Sure."
"Keep yourselves busy. I have work to do." The digimon said to them, before vanishing.
"It's so cool when Ancient Wisemon-sama does that! He's such a great sorcerer!" Koushiro spoke with admiration. "Sometimes he likes to stay in his perfect form instead of the ultimate one. But in my opinion, he looks more majestic-"
Out of nowhere, the girl pulled him to a tight hug. She didn't say anything, but cried quietly on his shoulder.
"Sora-san, what's the matter?" He asked, not understanding her behavior. Instinctively, he hugged her back. "If you have a problem, if you need to talk about it, I'll be here for you, okay? I'm not sure if I can help, but I'll try my best. You can talk to me."
"You're still in there. I know you are." She whispered in his ear. "I promise I will find you."
"I'm right here…" Koushiro muttered. "Are you alright? You're not making much sense…"
"Don't you worry about me!" She said, taking a step back in order to look at the boy. Tears were rolling from her eyes, but she showed him a reassuring smile. "A friend of mine told me once that I was as fierce as I was gentle… I need to be fierce now. I have to be the strongest I can! So, don't you worry about me for even one second! I swear to you that everything will turn out fine! I promise it's going to be okay, Koushiro!"
"Ok then…" The boy mumbled
Despite not understanding what she meant, Koushiro was amazed by the intense aura that came from that girl. It felt like warmth emanated from her body and gently filled his heart. It was a comforting feeling, unlike anything he remembered experiencing before.
He had just met her and was already sure she was a very strong person.
Just like he already knew he liked that girl named Sora.