Chapter 42

"Was that your knitting in there?" Laura asked Garcia.

"Yeah," she replied. "I know where all the best knitting stores are in the area. I even have a group, you're more than welcome."

"I don't…" Laura sighed. "Someone is going to be talking about baby things or knitting baby things and I just don't…"

"Oh no, that's all right. I get it. If you want I'll go get some stuff to work on for you. I don't mind."

"I don't….anything I work on right now I'm never going to be able to see again."

Spencer winced as another memory came up and swallowed him.

"And now we have two placemats." Laura said.

The only way to keep sane down here was to stay focused on the world inside, to make work and set schedules and routines and follow them until goals were achieved. Spencer was finally writing his paper on how Dr. Fallon's work might be applied to profiling, which was afternoon work. Mornings were for exercise and tidying up the spaces, laundry, dishes, cleaning. Afternoons were for writing and reading and in Laura's case knitting, evenings were for movies and games together. Now he was occupying the office space while she was in the chair with the best light. "Placemats?"

"Well we did repurpose the tablecloth. I don't know; I don't want to knit anything that I'm going to want to see again, so I don't want good yarn or special patterns at all, but just knitting is a comfort."

"Well, it's repetitive motion, which can be conducive to meditation. That has been proven to lower stress levels."

"Exactly. So right now it's dishcloth cotton and placemats and…Spencer!"

The tone of her voice had changed, from casual, friendly chatter to shock and fear. He spun around to look at her, and then followed her gaze to the door and the man standing there.

"Charity knitting?" Garcia asked. "Keep yourself sane, send them out into the world, and make other people feel better?"

"Know of any charities that need anything?" Laura asked. "Not baby related."

"Of course. Hey Rossi?" He was coming out to check on them. "Do you still work with that homeless veterans group?"

"When I can."

"Do they need, like, hats to hand out for the winter?"

"All the time."

Garcia turned back to Laura. "There you go. I know some simple watch cap patterns…."

"I like the sideways short-row, actually. Nothing more complicated than garter stitch right now. Maybe in acrylic…"

"No. Friends do not let friends knit with acrylic, especially when they're sad. I'll go get some super wash wool and some nice needles and whatever else you need. Want to go pick colors?"

"Sure." Laura sighed, this time in relief. "Thank you."

"Oh, you're welcome sweetie."

They adjourned to the kitchen. Spencer watched them go before turning to Dave. "Um, if you have time I could use some help with something."

"Name it."

"I need to talk to Mom, but I need to tell Dr. Norman what happened first, so he can prepare his staff to help her."

"Are you going to tell her?"

"Actually I was going to write to her to tell her about Maggie but there's a good chance that she'll know something is wrong and figure it out anyway. It's better that I tell her than hide it, hiding things only fuels her paranoia. But I don't know that I can outright explain it to Dr. Norman…."

"I'll call him and tell him while we set up the video link."

Now it was Spencer's turn to sigh in relief. "Thank you."

Not too long later Spencer sat down at Rossi's computer and felt his heart break again at the face on the screen. He'd dreamed of taking Maggie out to Vegas, of laying her in his mother's arms, her first Grandchild. Another dream that was lost in the hideous silence, "Hi Mom."

"Spencer!" Diana brightened so visibly when she saw him. "You're back. Oh, I am so glad. You're in DC, at Dave's house, right?"

"Yeah, I am."

Just that. Just that and she was frowning again. "Baby, what's wrong?"

"Nothing." He couldn't tell her like this. He had a long letter going already, pages of it, telling her everything about her grandchild, every amazing thing she'd done even though she'd only lived a day. "I'm fine."

"Spencer, don't lie to your mother."

"I am. Well, I broke my thumb." He held up his cast. "But it's not that…big a deal."

Diana considered him a long moment. "No, it's something else."

"I, um, I met a girl. Her name's Laura, I think you're really going to like her."

She nodded. "Good. I always knew you'd find someone. Going to marry her?"

"Yeah, actually. In Vegas. It turns out that her parents married at the same chapel where you and Dad got married. If it's still there we thought we'd go there too. I, um, think we're looking at March."

"Wonderful, Spencer, that's wonderful. I'll look forward to that. Now, tell me what's wrong."

How? How would he…. Oh, but she knew. Ever since Gary Michaels she knew…. "You were right." He admitted finally. "We are animals."

"Oh." She understood; she always did. In that moment her eyes filled with compassion and love. "Oh sweetheart I am so sorry."

"I am too. I tried…"

"I know you did. And I know you will again."

"That is the plan."

"Then I'll look forward to that too."

"I'm going to write. Everything…"

"Good. Good. You do that sweetheart. And you take care of yourself and that girl. Is she there?"

"Yeah. Yeah she is."

"Well you tell her for me that if you think she's special then she is special. And I bet she'll make a wonderful mother for my grandchildren."

Oh. Oh. "I'll tell her that Mom. I think she'll really like hearing that."

"Good."

Spencer heard a small, broken sound from the doorway. Laura hadn't been listening, but she'd walked in just in time. Now she was standing there with tears running down her cheeks. "I have to go Mom."

"Yes, before someone starts listening in. I love you son."

"I love you too Mom. Bye." He closed the link and ran to Laura's side. "Mom is… she's…"

"I never thought anyone would ever say that." Laura got out between sobs. "That's the nicest thing anyone ever said about me." She curled back into his arms and started soaking his shirt for the fourth time that day. "I think I love your mother."

"Oh." Well that was all right.