Chapter 45: Hikari's choice
For the first few minutes, all Hikari did was apologize. She bowed to Sora and Koushiro, who had come to the floating magical circle Wizarmon had created. The partners of the older children, still in ultimate form, hovered close to them. Under Tailmon's gaze, Hikari told among sobs what had happened since the last time she had seen them.
And then, she told them what had happened before that. What had started as a hard task became easier the more she talked. Her friend, her brother, her other lives… as she let her most guarded feelings out she felt as if her heart was being freed from a heavy burden. Hikari could breathe easier as she let her words flow. She didn't have anything to hide anymore.
How naive had she been to believe she knew better than anyone just because she remembered other lives? It wasn't as if she had done anything extraordinary in those lives anyway. In all those universes, she had been nothing more than Taichi's fragile sister that was occasionally used by mystical beings. She wanted so badly to be something else…
Hikari wanted to tame her fate and realize her full potential. She wanted to fix everything, protect everyone and make everybody happy. She wanted to be good and do good things, and to see value in herself. But all she did was hurt others. For that, she would never stop apologizing.
Although the girl would understand if nobody else was willing to forgive her, in the bottom of her heart she still hoped. How great would it be to have friends that accepted her in her entireness? How wonderful would it be to have friends that forgave her mistakes and loved her for who she was?
Hikari kept her eyes down, not daring to look at anyone's face. Nobody interrupted her narration. Finally she finished, eyes firmly fixed on the circle. She waited for their response, heart pounding. Suddenly a pair of arms wrapped around her and pulled her into a warm hug. It was Sora. Hikari smiled and cried at the same time. Koushiro approached her too and smiled at her reassuringly.
"I told you so many horrible things, Sora-san…" Hikari said. "I'm sorry for belittling your kindness and for saying that you couldn't lead anyone! I'm sorry for comparing you to my brother and for scorning you when you were just trying to help me, Sora-san! I'm so sorry!"
"You're not the first person to say cruel things when hurt." Sora told her. "I know how easy it is to let anger consume you and to lash out at people who didn't deserve it… I'm guilty of doing that…" She glanced at Houomon and then at Koushiro. "I thought that what I had done was unforgivable and that I should be hated for that. But nobody gave up on me." Sora smiled. "They gave me the chance to learn from my mistakes and become a better person. Everybody deserves this chance, even you, Hikari-chan."
Hikari closed her eyes as thick tears escaped them. She sobbed loudly, unable to say anything else.
"I wanted to apologize too." Koushiro said. The girls broke the hug and looked at him.
Hikari was about to say that he hadn't done anything wrong, but noticed something different in the boy's eyes. They didn't resemble the ones that belonged to her brother's friend in this universe. That was a look she recognized from another life.
"Koushiro-san…? My Koushiro-san…?" She muttered. "But I had…"
"He doesn't exist anymore like he used to." Koushiro explained. "A part of him was preserved as a backup in a mirror. He gave me my memories back and the memories of his life. The other me would've liked to let you know that he was at peace in the end. And what he felt for you… I know he didn't express it in the best way and he did terrible things… he lost perspective after his death… but that good and pure feeling he had for you during his life never left him, despite getting tarnished. He wouldn't want you to suffer."
"I know…" Hikari whispered, wiping her tears with the back of her hand. "You might have some of his memories, but you're not him… my friend is really gone, isn't he, Koushiro-san?"
It was too painful for her to say that name.
"You know…" Koushiro murmured. "We could drop honorifics with each other… I mean, I know that you and the other me treated each other by 'san' so… maybe it'd be less confusing for you… but only if you want."
"This isn't something that normally happens…" Hikari said, startled. In that moment, she realized that, despite resembling the friend she once had, the Koushiro in front of her was someone completely new.
"It's not just you, though." Koushiro added. "I'd like to drop honorifics with all my friends… that way I could feel closer to them…"
"I think that's a wonderful idea!" Hikari told him, smiling. "It's nice to feel closer to people… to feel that you're not alone…"
She glanced at Sora after saying that.
"I've been hiding myself from everybody for my whole life." Hikari told her. "I let them think that I was a sweet girl that always put others before her… someone that couldn't have nasty feelings or bad thoughts. Nobody knew who I really was, not even Onii-chan… I can't even imagine how much of a shock it was for you all when I stopped pretending I was perfect. I regret hurting you but… it's a relief to know that I won't have to hide myself anymore."
"That's good to hear." Sora said, smiling brightly at the girl. "I'd like to get to know you better and be a better friend, Hikari-chan. I'm sorry for failing to see beyond the mask you showed us… the truth is that for a long time I wore a mask too… I know how that act can make a person feel miserable…" Her smile vanished for a moment, but soon reappeared. "There's nothing better than to be true to yourself!"
Sora's strength and growth amazed Hikari. She was even wiser and more empathetic than the little girl had thought. Just like with Koushiro, Sora's growth in that universe was something Hikari had never witnessed before, at least not in such a short amount of time. Hikari also recalled that Jyou and Mimi, in those brief encounters, also seemed to be more mature than in previous universes. Maybe Fate had done something right when he chose this group.
"You're a great leader, Sora-san." Hikari told her. "The chosen children are lucky to have you!"
"I'm the one who's lucky to have you all!" Sora replied.
"I'm so glad things worked out…" Tailmon whispered, smiling at Wizarmon, who was sitting by her side. "Hikari isn't going to feel lonely anymore."
"She already had you as a friend, Tailmon, and you're the one that matters the most. The others are mere bonuses…" Wizarmon said, getting up. He approached the children. "If you're done talking about feelings, we have more urgent matters."
"Don't be so insensitive!" Houomon scolded him.
"That's right!" Herkuleskabuterimon, who was hovering next to her, agreed. "It's important for all of us to bond and communicate-"
"Yeah, yeah, I know! Friendship and all that!" Wizarmon interrupted. "That's sweet but I'm getting tired of sustaining this magical circle and you two must be tired of flying!"
"We wouldn't be tired if you had made a circle big enough for us to step in!" Houomon stated.
"That would be too draining for me! You two are huge!" Wizarmon contested.
"For someone who was in a hurry to talk about urgent matters, you sure seem to have forgotten about them quickly." Tailmon taunted, which earned an embarrassed gasp from the mage.
"We have to find Takeru-kun, Mimi-chan and Jyou-sempai!" Sora urged.
"There's also something strange happening to the Digital World." Koushiro added, looking at the dark clouds above them. "We should investigate it."
"I have a lot to explain to you about Ofanimon's plan." Hikari said. "While I do that, we should head to where everybody is going: Infinity Mountain!"
Ladydevimon stood before the red door she had created a long time ago.
After thousands of years of relentless studies, she had finally perfected the spell to reach that dimension. She still remembered falling to the attacks of the holy beasts and seeing her Mother disappearing along with the corrupted data. The Sanctuary had been defeated and its priests were quick to flee. After that, Ladydevimon spent most of her time alone in her Mother's room in Infinity Mountain, reading the angel's magical books. That task had become easier once she removed her helmet and she could see with her eyes instead of her heart.
Piedmon visited her from time to time. His long silences were only interrupted when he told her, among other things, that she should let go of what "chained" her to that place. Those encounters almost always ended in arguments. Piedmon couldn't understand love or devotion. He had lived most of his life as an opportunist that jumped to the side of whoever he thought was stronger. The only reason for him to have stayed in the Sanctuary was probably because he believed in Ofanimon's return. Or maybe because he feared the idea of having Ladydevimon as his enemy.
He always said that she was strong but held herself back. Ever since she had become Angewomon, she dreaded the idea of evolving to the same form her Mother had. Nothing could be more disrespectful. Ofanimon was the greatest and kindest digimon to ever live. She didn't have to rescue that lost Plotmon that would've died alone in the desert without anyone noticing, nor did she have to save so many others, but she did anyway. Ladydevimon knew that no digimon could be compared to her Mother.
Her fear should've ended when she became Ladydevimon. It wasn't likely that she would be able to evolve to an ultimate angel after having fallen from grace. But it wasn't impossible. Because of that, she persisted in her determination to remain a perfect level monster. Someone unworthy like her couldn't take the risk of becoming Ofanimon.
When she tried to open that door right after she created it, Ladydevimon failed. Her Mother's voice came from the other side, but listening to it didn't bring her the desired joy. Ofanimon told her only an ultimate angel could open that door.
That couldn't be true, it couldn't be right! Ladydevimon tried to find another solution, but couldn't. If she allowed herself to evolve… but to take her Mother's form was unacceptable! She'd rather die than to dishonor her like that! She tried to convince her Mother to come out, but had no success. In the end, all Ladydevimon did was to follow her orders and pass them to the other siblings, even when she disagreed. A lower being like her wasn't entitled to anything else.
She stood there, guarding that door, almost every day. The times she left were always tied to her duties. Ladydevimon was responsible for reorganizing the Sanctuary and leading its few remaining members in the absence of their true leader. She had to be strong and appear authoritative despite the ever increasing hole in her heart. Salvation had to be implemented. But how could she accept that the savior of the world had chosen to take the lives of all digimon for the greater good? She couldn't tell anymore what was right and wrong at that point.
But soon the plan would be complete and she wouldn't have to think about those things any longer. Her heart would at last be at peace, or so she hoped.
"Mugendramon went to Aurora Town." A familiar male voice spoke behind her. Ladydevimon took her eyes away from the door and turned around to face Piedmon.
"Did he go there to die?" She asked, not showing much interest.
"Etemon contacted him. It seems that the chosen children are back." Piedmon informed her.
Ladydevimon was surprised to hear that, but wasn't shaken by the news. There was nothing the chosen children could do stop the plan; they had returned to that world just to die pointlessly.
"I instructed him to go there and tell them that the Queen had orders to make sure those brats left this world." Piedmon continued. "He's bringing two children over for you."
"For me?" Ladydevimon inquired. "I don't feel like going through the trouble of sending them home. If they were stupid enough to come back, they deserve to die."
"Who talked about actually sending them home?" Piedmon sounded confused. "I'm talking about killing unsuspecting chosen children! That should cheer you up!"
"Why would that cheer me up?" Ladydevimon asked, annoyed.
"Well…" Piedmon seemed to be in a loss of words. "I mean… you enjoyed shattering that dark orb containing a holy beast… I thought…"
"That gave me a fleeting satisfaction that lasted for a couple of minutes… until I was reminded of the lack of meaning in everything…" Ladydevimon said. "Even if I were to momentarily enjoy killing those children, it would be a pointless action…"
"Then, what can I do to make you feel better?" Piedmon asked. "Ever since we defeated the Academy, you've only grown sadder… you don't even banter or jokingly call me 'sama' anymore…"
"Why do you care?" Ladydevimon inquired.
"Do you really not know?" Piedmon asked, looking into her eyes. "Before I met you, I only cared about my self-preservation. The old me would've run away from the holy beasts instead of fighting them head on… I would've betrayed the Sanctuary the second I thought the Queen could lose, and I thought that way too many times. What do you think made me stay? What do you think is the reason for me to willingly walk towards death?"
His eyes were sad but resolute, brimming with an intensity she didn't remember ever noticing.
"Fear…" She risked an answer she had been sure of not long before. Piedmon seemed surprised. Then, he glanced down.
"I am indeed afraid of something." He said. "But you can't even imagine what it is…"
Piedmon left her alone, saying that he was going to wait for Mugendramon and then decide what to do with the chosen children. Ladydevimon turned to the door again. She hadn't heard anything from the other side during that whole day and wondered the reason for that. However, she didn't dwell too much in those thoughts. The reason didn't matter. Everything would end soon anyway.
She realized that if everything was about to end there wasn't any reason for her to stay guarding that door. The Dark Masters had each a key code of a part of the Digital World. Despite not knowing exactly how large the portions of Piedmon and Pinocchimon were, she knew they were bigger than hers. They couldn't be less than nothing, after all. Her Mother didn't seem to remember she existed and didn't bother to give her any duty to carry in those final hours. It shouldn't surprise her, though. Despite Piedmon's belief, Ladydevimon knew she was weak. If she had been strong enough, things could've been different. However, there was no point in thinking about that.
Ladydevimon wandered off and found herself in front of the door of her Mother's old room. She heard voices in there.
"Have you been here before?" A childish voice asked.
"A few times, right after I had given her File Island." A male deep voice replied. "This room's window was the closest entrance to the top."
"Are you nervous?" The child asked.
"Of course I am!" The other replied. "But I have to do this! I must see my sister!"
Ladydevimon opened the door and saw Seraphimon standing in the middle of the room, between a large bookshelf and a bed covered in dusty sheets. A blond boy stood close to him.
"I remember you…" The child said. "You went to the Village of the Beginnings after Devimon's defeat…"
She paid no attention to the boy. Her eyes were locked at the tyrant that had returned from the dead. He's with a chosen child… he's this kid's partner! Then, Devimon wasn't…
"I'm Ofanimon's brother." Seraphimon told her. "I don't wish to fight you. Please, step aside."
The fears Ladydevimon thought she no longer had returned in full force. In front of her stood an ultimate angel, someone that could open the door and hurt her Mother. Ladydevimon was the only thing standing in his way. She was the only one that could protect Ofanimon! The events of the day she had lost her Mother resurfaced in her mind. She had believed that formidable angel was invincible. She had thought there was no way Ofanimon could lose; therefore, Angewomon didn't have to evolve. Back then, she was sure that everything was going to be alright, until it wasn't.
"I can't let it happen again!" Ladydevimon stated. She didn't have the luxury to hold back anymore. "I won't let you get closer to Mother!"
The determination in her heart released the power she had kept hidden. In accordance to her deepest wishes, she didn't become an Ofanimon. The appearance she took was the one of a pale woman with short hair and two pairs of bat wings on the back, wearing a purple and black dress with golden details, one golden gauntlet with pointy claws and an ornament on her head that resembled a tiara.
She had been reborn as the Demon Lady Lilithmon.
Mugendramon, Banchoulilymon and Marinangemon (along with Jyou and Mimi, who were floating in bubbles made by the boy's partner) had flown as fast as they could over a dark abyss that had replaced the ocean. They were approaching Infinity Mountain when File Island disappeared around it.
"Metalseadramon and Pinocchimon must be dead already." Mugendramon said as they went through an entrance on the rocky wall and landed on an empty hall. "Piedmon and I are the only ones left."
"Is Piedmon really going to help us to stop the Queen?" Jyou asked after the bubbles surrounding him and Mimi popped.
"Piedmon and I grew up together, I have no doubt he's going to support me." Mugendramon spoke with confidence. "As soon as he sees that the chosen children and the strongest fairy are on our side, he won't hesitate to do the smart thing!"
"Maybe we can solve everything just by talking…" Mimi hoped.
"That would be the ideal solution." Banchoulilymon said. "However, we must be ready for everything."
"I actually can help with that!" Marinangemon had enthusiasm in his voice. "I have an attack that can make my opponents lose their fighting spirit!"
"Isn't that like brainwashing?" Jyou asked. "It doesn't seem ethical."
"Why do you always question the ethics of my attacks, Jyou? None of the other human partners do that!" Marinangemon sounded offended.
They heard steps coming from the other side of the hall. A digimon clown holding a sword in each hand and two on his back walked in their direction. In the middle of the hall, he stopped and stared at Banchoulilymon.
"It's been a while, Banchou."
"You're that Jokermon, right?" She asked, sounding amused. "You barely changed. Well, your new outfit is more ridiculous, you replaced the scythe with swords and that creepy large smile is gone, but that aside…"
"I wasn't expecting to fight you again." Piedmon sighed. "It could be fun, though. Like a reminder of the old times before the end."
"Piedmon!" Mugendramon called the clown. "We don't have to fight the chosen children! We can fight with them!"
"What are you talking about?" Piedmon asked in low voice. "You don't have to keep lying to them. They already fell in the trap."
"TRAP?!" Jyou and Mimi shouted at the same time. Marinangemon put himself between the children and Mugendramon while Banchoulilymon stood between Piedmon and the humans.
"It's not a trap! What kind of idiot would I be to go through the trouble of bringing you to a trap if the world was going to end anyway?!" Mugendramon nearly shouted.
"Hold on…" Piedmon murmured, seeming genuinely shocked. "You can't be… you're not seriously suggesting an alliance with the chosen children, are you?!"
"Why are you acting as if it's an absurd idea?!" Mugendramon inquired. "If the children fight with us, we're not going to have to die because of the whims of a mad woman!"
"It's the only way to restore… wait, I don't have to explain this to you! You should know the plan!" Piedmon yelled.
"I'm not going to die for the sake of someone else! That's not in my nature and nor in yours!" Mugendramon shouted back.
"Don't you have any shred of pride in you?!" Piedmon asked.
"Pride?! Who are you to talk about pride?!" Mugendramon questioned. "You were by my side when we pledged obedience to that crazy angel after he burned our village down! And you were by my side when we ditched him to go after yet another crazy angel! Since when do you have pride, Piedmon?! Since when did your survival stop being your number one concern?!"
Piedmon stared at Mugendramon in silence for almost two minutes, tightening the grip on the swords.
"Is anyone else feeling super awkward to be in the middle of this discussion?" Jyou asked in a whisper.
"I feel kind of bad for them. They're friends." Mimi whispered back.
"Don't feel too bad for them! At least one of them wants you dead!" Banchoulilymon scolded in low voice.
"Mugendramon!" Piedmon shouted. "We've know each other since forever, so I'll give you a chance to redeem yourself."
"I don't have to be redeemed! I have to survive!" Mugendramon stated, firing two missiles at Piedmon. The clown monster dodged them with a jump. After landing, Piedmon took a large white blanket from one of his pockets and threw it in Mugendramon's direction, but he destroyed the fabric with another missile.
"Nobody is going to turn into a keychain today!" Mugendramon affirmed.
"Keychain?" Mimi asked.
"He knows how to turn people into keychains." Mugendramon explained.
"That's messed up!" Jyou exclaimed.
"Yeah!" Marinangemon agreed. "Why keychains, anyway? Aren't there more useful things?"
"That's not what's messed up in the situation!" Banchoulilymon stated. She threw her yoyos in Piedmon and grabbed one of his legs. However, he cut the strings of the toys with his swords.
"I guess I finally defeated you, Banchou!" Piedmon taunted.
"I don't need accessories to take anyone down!" Banchoulilymon declared.
She flew in his direction, avoided the strikes of his swords and kicked him towards the rocky ceiling. Piedmon used one of his blades to stick to the ceiling and threw the sword in his other hand in the fairy's direction. Banchoulilymon managed to grab the sword by its hilt and was ready to strike him, but Piedmon began to throw knives from his sleeve, which forced the fairy to use the sword to deflect them.
"Aren't you going to help her?!" Mimi asked Mugendramon.
"I need to wait for the right moment to attack; otherwise I could blow up Banchou by accident!" Mugendramon replied.
Suddenly, the ceiling broke down and someone came falling in high speed through it, hitting the ground with a big impact. Piedmon fell on the ground nearby and looked at the crater. Banchoulilymon, who was still flying, did the same. They both were paralyzed by shock. Lying there was no one other than the former tyrant Seraphimon.
Once Seraphimon stood up from the crater, Mugendramon began to panic:
"That's the Bloody Lord! Why is the Bloody Lord here?!"
"Is that Patamon?" Marinangemon asked.
"Then, where is Takeru-kun?" Mimi wondered.
"Still up there, maybe?" Jyou suggested.
From the large hole on the ceiling, a woman with purple dress and bat wings slowly descended.
"What is a Lilithmon doing here?!" Mugendramon shouted. "Now there's a Bloody Lord and a Demon Lord?!"
"Milady?" Piedmon asked when Lilithmon landed close to him. "You evolved! You are magnificent! I knew that once you freed yourself-"
"I haven't freed myself from anything." Lilithmon contested. "I've only stopped running from my responsibility. I will protect Mother this time!"
"I don't want to harm my sister! I want to help her!" Seraphimon stated.
"I DON'T BELIEVE YOU!" Lilithmon shouted, launching an attack of dark energy against the angel, who deflected and dissipated it with a light attack.
"If the Bloody Lord knows what I did…" Mugendramon was thinking aloud. "He's going to kill me! I have to find a way to earn his forgiveness, his trust…"
Mugendramon locked his eyes on Lilithmon, who was engaged in a fierce battle against the angel. An idea to gain Seraphimon's mercy sprung in his mind. The machine monster took a few steps forward and aimed his cannons at the woman.
"I'll help you, Seraphimon-sama!" Mugendramon yelled as he prepared his attack. "Please, forgive me for my past judgment errors!"
However, Mugendramon didn't have the chance to fire the cannons. When Piedmon saw what the other was about to do, he conjured dozens of swords and knives that pierced the Dark Master's mechanical body. That action caught the attention of everybody present. Lilithmon stared at the scene in absolute shock.
"You… betrayed me…" Mugendramon spoke as data particles began to break from his body. "We were friends…"
"You were going to attack her! You gave me no other choice!" Piedmon defended himself.
"You chose that woman over me…? Idiot…" Mugendramon coughed. "The two of you can't stop the Bloody Lord and the chosen children… you threw your only chance of survival away… why…?"
Piedmon didn't answer. He didn't take his eyes away from his former friend until Mugendramon completely disappeared.
Mimi cried and covered her eyes. Jyou embraced the girl's shaking body but didn't know what to say to her. Marinangemon stared at them, dumbfounded.
"The key code in his body…" Banchoulilymon said in low voice, glaring at the clown. "Picodevimon, Etemon… all the digimon in all the cities… you killed them! YOU KILLED THEM ALL!"
"There's no Digital World left outside this mountain anymore…" Piedmon muttered, picking from under his shirt a necklace with a prism and turning to Lilithmon. "This is the only key code remaining and it belongs to you, Milady."
"That belongs to Mother…" Lilithmon couldn't understand what was happening. "Since when do you have that? How do you have it?!"
"The code of Infinity Mountain was my gift to my sister!" Seraphimon shouted. "Did you steal that from her?"
"The Queen gave me this right before the final battle against the original chosen children." Piedmon explained. "She suspected she wasn't going to return from that fight, so she made me promise I'd take care of the necklace until the moment arrived to give it to you, Milady. The moment is here."
"If she wanted me to be in charge of destroying the code-" Lilithmon began to say.
"It wasn't for that!" Piedmon interrupted. "Infinity Mountain was never meant to be destroyed along with the world! This place is supposed to be the pillar of the new world that is about to be born! And you must be the Queen that will look after all digimon!"
The darkness in the sky and the abyss below suddenly crept towards them and Wizarmon opened a portal to Infinity Mountain in the last minute. Sora, Hikari, Koushiro, Houomon, Herkuleskabuterimon, Tailmon and he were safe. They found themselves hovering inside the mountain. Several floors above and below them had been destroyed, leaving huge craters on their places.
Takeru was alone on an isolated piece of floor still connected to the wall. He would fall if he didn't carefully hold still. With Houomon's help, Sora pulled him to safety. Soon, they were back to the hovering magical circle. The boy wasn't happy when he noticed Hikari's presence.
"I'm on your side now." The little girl told him. "I'm deeply sorry about all the horrible things I've done."
Takeru glared at her, but didn't reply for a few minutes. He glanced up and down and took a few deep breaths. After he calmed himself, he gave her a serious look and told her:
"If you're really sorry and you intend to work on righting your mistakes, I suppose I could forgive you."
Hikari smiled and said:
"That's good enough for me."
"Where's your partner, Takeru-kun?" Sora asked.
"He evolved to Seraphimon and is fighting Ladydevimon… well, she evolved too." Takeru replied. "Seraphimon wanted to save his sister by opening the door of her dimension, it seems that only an ultimate angel can do that and Ofanimon doesn't want to leave that place because of her guilt. But Ladydevimon didn't believe in his good intentions and attacked him! He hasn't come back yet…"
"So, you want to help Ofanimon?" Hikari asked. "It's true that she's not evil, but because of her the Digital World…"
"How much of the world is left now?" Koushiro asked.
"Only Infinity Mountain…" Hikari replied, feeling her eyes getting brimmed with tears. "I couldn't figure out how to reverse the corruption or how to stop the Dark Masters. I couldn't save the Digital World… everything I did was pointless… I hurt my brother and you guys… I forced my partner to evolve… all for nothing…"
"Patamon had a dark evolution because of me… I had lost control over my anger…" Takeru confessed. "But he forgave me afterwards."
"Like I forgave Hikari." Tailmon said, smiling.
Takeru glanced at Hikari, noticing the sad look on her face. He approached the girl and sat by her side.
"We might not be able to save the Digital World, but that doesn't mean we can't do anything." He told her. "There are still digimon suffering… digimon that deserve closure and peace…"
"Takeru-kun…" Sora said, smiling at him. "You've matured a lot."
The boy blushed at the comment.
"I could force Ofanimon to come out of that place if I wanted." Hikari pondered. "I could use my power to stop the fights down there, but that wouldn't bring peace to anyone. By forcing my will on others instead of trusting them to make their own decisions, I would only be causing more pain."
The others didn't comment what Hikari had said, but smiled at her approvingly.
"We have to go where they are." Sora decided. "We have to help Seraphimon, so he can talk to his sister."
"I don't think we all have to go down there." Koushiro told her. "It'd be more productive if at least one of us went to the door and tried to talk to Ofanimon."
"I could do that, but…" Wizarmon murmured. "I was just one of her many followers. I want to help her, but I don't know what I could possibly say to her…"
"If she's someone you love, you just have to open your heart." Sora suggested. "Let the words flow and your hearts connect."
"You could go with him too, Sora-san." Hikari said.
"M-Me?" Sora stuttered. "But I don't even know Ofanimon!"
"You're really good at trying to understand other people and being empathetic." Hikari told her. "You're a caring and patient person that worries about others. I'm sure you could do it."
"Nobody is more mature than Sora-san. She really could get through to Ofanimon before Seraphimon arrives." Takeru agreed.
"Sora knows how it is to demand too much of herself and suffer because of it." Koushiro added. "And she knows how to articulate her emotions in an effective way."
"Sora's love is deep and burns fiercely." Houomon said. "I can't think of anyone more capable of guiding a person out of the darkness."
"You all really think that?" Sora asked, touched by their trust. "Will you guys be alright without me there to help you?"
"Don't worry about us, we'll be fine!" Koushiro assured.
"We're all very strong!" Takeru stated.
"Alright, then!" Sora said. "I'll do my best!"
Hikari, Tailmon and Takeru climbed on Herkuleskabuterimon's head along with Koushiro while Sora and Wizarmon climbed on Houomon.
"Everything will turn out okay, Wizarmon!" Tailmon promised. "With each other's help, we can do anything!"
"I really hope that's true." Wizarmon muttered before Houomon took him and Sora upwards.
"Let's go help Seraphimon now!" Takeru urged.
Herkuleskabuterimon flew downwards with them.
Hikari kept her eyes on Tailmon for a while and then looked at Koushiro and Takeru. It was true that friends wanted to protect each other, but that wasn't what friendship was all about. Friends respected each other's opinions even when not agreeing with them. They trusted in each other's capabilities and saw no problem in accepting help. People needed friends because not one person in the world, no matter how powerful or knowledgeable, was capable of doing everything or making all the decisions without anyone else's help.
Friends are meant to depend on each other. Hikari concluded. Nobody is supposed to be alone.
"What is it, Hikari?" Tailmon asked, looking at her. "You're grinning."
"I don't have to be a goddess, a savior or a perfect person, nor do I want to be those things." Hikari replied. "It's okay to just be myself. All I want is to be with my friends as a fellow chosen child."
Pink light came out of the girl's digivice and enveloped Tailmon.
"Tailmon warp evolves to… HOLYDRAMON!"
The cat turned into a pink fluffy dragon with a pair of long horns and five pairs of wings. Hikari climbed on her and, together, they lead the way.
Lilithmon stared, astonished, at Piedmon offering her the necklace. His words didn't make any sense. Her Mother was the only Queen the Digital World had; she was the only one that could lead the digimon. Ofanimon was incomparable, irreplaceable! That formidable being couldn't be substituted by an inferior monster like Lilithmon!
She told me the new Digital World would be guarded by a digimon with a kind heart! Lilithmon remembered. She never said it would be her, but who else could it be? After Salvation is completed, Mother should come out of the door and return to her old ways! She's supposed to rule again and make everybody happy!
"Mother is the Queen!" Lilithmon stated.
"Your dear mother intends to die when Salvation is implemented, don't you understand?" Piedmon told her. "She never had any intention of returning! That's why she had you manage things in her absence! She has been preparing you to rule!"
"LIAR!" Lilithmon yelled. "Mother never told me anything like that! She never… never…"
"She knew you wouldn't accept it. That's why she gave me the necklace and the task of telling you everything when the time came." Piedmon explained. "You don't have to fight for her anymore! If the Bloody Lord and the chosen children want to go after her, let them! She's already accepted her fate! Instead of dedicating your existence to serve her, you should start thinking about what's best for you, Milady!"
"DON'T TALK AS IF YOU KNOW WHAT'S BEST FOR ME!" Lilithmon shouted. "DON'T TALK AS IF YOU EVER CARED ABOUT ANYONE BUT YOURSELF!"
"Do you think I still care about myself at this point?" Piedmon asked, walking towards her. "Before meeting you, I didn't know what nobility was. You were such a sublime being, I couldn't do more than admire you. You're strong, loyal, perseverant… but ever since your mother left you, there was no joy left in your heart. Whenever I looked to the stars, I thought about the light that had vanished from your soul. The fear that you would never return from that apathetic state paralyzed me… it made my heart feel as if it was freezing…"
"You're spitting nonsense!" Lilithmon accused, pointing at him with her gauntlet. "You're trying to confuse me!"
"I would never do that!" Piedmon stated, stretching his arm towards her, offering the necklace. "For the last thousands of years I've lived only for your happiness!"
"STOP LYING!" Lilithmon shouted, slapping his hand with her gauntlet. The necklace fell on the ground. She hadn't noticed right away that she had caused a cut in his hand. But when she saw his flesh begin to corrode from the point the gauntlet had touched it and spread to the rest of his body, the weight of her action hit her.
That cursed gauntlet she had as Lilithmon was called Nazar Nail. It destroyed anything its claws touched.
Piedmon kneeled down as more and more data particles broke from his body. Lilithmon tried to hold him with her other hand.
"I didn't mean to… I didn't want…" She said in an apologetic tone, feeling hot tears coming to her eyes.
Piedmon showed her a kind smile. In his last breath, he told her:
"Good-bye… my love…"
She stared at the point where he disappeared, unable to move. Her tears streamed down her face. Lilithmon had never thought of Piedmon as anything more than an ally that couldn't be trusted. He had been the one that made her Mother kill Seraphimon and drown in despair. Lilithmon should hate him, she should loathe him. But Piedmon had always been so helpful… he was always trying to talk her out of her misery, to encourage her to embrace her greatness. Not because of twisted hidden intentions, as she suspected, but something entirely different, something that had never crossed her mind.
And she destroyed him with her own hand.
The pain in her heart was too great to be contained. She wanted to scream, but couldn't find her voice. What was that desperation she felt? Why did she feel that way? Was that only regret and shame? Or perhaps she did care for him more than she had believed…
Taking advantage of her distraction, Seraphimon flew towards the hole in the ceiling. But Lilithmon noticed what he was doing and shot a concentrated beam of dark energy that pierced his left shoulder and knocked him down.
"Why do you still want to fight?!" Mimi asked, shedding tears. "We don't have to be enemies!"
"We're wasting time here!" Seraphimon said in a pained voice. "I have to stop my sister from implementing the plan! I can't let her die behind that door!"
"I don't want to fight…" Lilithmon said, taking a step towards the necklace that contained the key code of the mountain. "I don't want to rule… I'm sick of people seeing things in me that don't exist… Mother lied to me… she's wrong about me…"
Lilithmon glanced at the necklace on the floor. If she stepped on it, everything would be over. She wouldn't have to be her Mother's puppet. She wouldn't have to continue to exist in a new world alone, unable to live to those high expectations. Lilithmon just had to destroy that thing and her misery would end.
But a pink bubble appeared around the necklace and took it upwards. Lilithmon followed the object with her eyes and saw a human girl on a Holydramon grab it. A Herkuleskabuterimon came from the hole in the ceiling right after that, carrying two children.
"So you humans want to play with me?" She asked. "I'll give you what you're asking for."
After Herkuleskabuterimon landed, Koushiro and Takeru got down from the digimon's head and reunited with Jyou, Mimi, Marinangemon, Banchoulilymon and Seraphimon. The youngest boy went to where his partner was standing, noticing the bleeding in the angel's shoulder.
"Are you okay?" Takeru asked him.
"I'm not going to let this stop me…" Seraphimon replied, panting a little but showing the boy a reassuring smile. Takeru still looked at him with concern, though.
Hikari came floating in a bubble that popped when she landed close to them. In her hands, the girl was holding the necklace with the prism. Meanwhile, Lilithmon was exchanging energy attacks with Holydramon.
"Lilithmon was going to destroy the key code of Infinity Mountain." Hikari said. "Until we convince her to stop fighting, we have to protect this necklace!"
"How do you even know this?" Takeru inquired.
"I have the knowledge of the Spirit of the World, remember? If I concentrate, I can access any information I need." Hikari replied.
"Hikari-chan?" Mimi called her. She and Jyou were looking at the little girl with apprehension. Hikari bowed slightly to them.
"I'm deeply sorry for what I put you through. Especially you, Mimi-san!" She looked up to Mimi. "I didn't know he was going to possess your mother, but I still should've done something, I…" She glanced at Jyou and then again at Mimi. "If I had told you the whole truth the moment I met you, if I had asked for help… I'm sorry! I'm so sorry for my selfishness and my arrogance!"
"Hey, it's okay, Hikari-chan!" Mimi tried to comfort her. "My mother is fine now! We're all fine! I'm just really glad that you're alright!"
"I was very worried about you! Thank the heavens you're not hurt!" Jyou told the little girl. "Listen, I understand how big brothers can drive us nuts sometimes and how much they can pressure you. If you need to vent or just to talk in general, I'll be here for you, okay?"
"Okay. Thank you!" Hikari smiled.
"Where's Sora-san, by the way?" Mimi asked Koushiro.
"She's going to try to talk to Ofanimon-" He began to say. The boy was interrupted by Holydramon violently hitting the rocky wall behind the children. The dragon had bruises and burns on her body. She fell from the wall to the ground and Hikari ran to her partner, concerned.
"She is too powerful…" Holydramon said in a weak voice.
The children and the digimon turned to look at the diabolic woman slowly walking towards them. Lilithmon eyes didn't extern any strong emotion. With her shoulders down and her apathetic expression, she looked like an exhausted person that wanted nothing more than to rest.
"Just give me the necklace back or destroy it yourself." Lilithmon spoke in a cold tone. "None of you can overpower me as I am now. Just let this end."
"If you destroy the code in the necklace, we'll all die!" Hikari told her. "That won't help Ofanimon!"
"So what?" Lilithmon asked. "I've been living for her sake almost my entire life. I trusted her, made excuses for her, I believed that she could be that generous digimon that once saved me again… but she doesn't want to return. Mother got sick of trying to save the world and now wants me to replace her. She didn't even bother to ask me… am I supposed to continue to do whatever she wants even when she's no longer around? I'd sacrifice myself for her happiness without hesitation, but if she isn't here… if I never get to see her again… I'd just be a lone queen waiting for the world to turn against me and punish me for trying to help... I don't want to be trapped in this miserable cycle."
A few tears escaped from her eyes.
"I'll free myself from this torment." She declared. "I'll make my pain cease to exist."
"So you want to die to escape your problems?" Mimi questioned, giving the digimon a disapproving look. "Is this everybody's answer now? To die and hope for things to be better in a next life? You shouldn't give up so easily! Death and unhappiness aren't the only options!"
"Mimi-san is right!" Takeru said. "We can find a better solution! You and Ofanimon still can be happy!"
"Just because you feel that you're not capable of something or that you can't compare yourself to someone else, it doesn't mean it's true!" Jyou stated. "You have value! There are things you can do!"
"No matter what you do, you can't really escape the pain." Koushiro let her know. "You have to deal with your problems to truly overcome them!"
"SHUT UP!" Lilithmon shouted, launching a large energy attack against them.
Hikari created a huge pink bubble to shield the chosen children and digimon in time. Lilithmon continued to blast them with increasing ferocity.
"I can use my special attack to make her lose her fighting spirit!" Marineangemon reminded the others. "We tried to talk to her and it didn't work, so there's no ethical problem! Right, Jyou?"
"We're trying to help her and you want to brainwash her? What's the matter with you?!" Mimi questioned, angry.
"That's right!" Jyou agreed. "Brainwashing is obviously the wrong thing to do!"
"It's not really brainwash! It's just to make her lose her desire to fight!" Marineangemon contested.
"I don't think she has any genuine desire to fight now." Koushiro said. "She let her self-loathness and self-destructiveness take control of her and now she's lashing out at us."
"But it's still worth the shot!" Marinangemon nearly shouted. "Hey, Herkuleskabuterimon! Tell your partner about how my plan is worth a shot!"
"I've known your grasp of morality was weak since the night you suggested we should kill the other Koushiro-han!" The insect monster remarked.
"Enough with this discussion!" Banchoulilymon ordered. "We're going to support and trust our partners! If they don't want to brainwash her, we won't do that!"
"It's not brainwashing, damn it!" Marineangemon was getting more annoyed.
While they were discussing, Hikari was sitting on the ground, examining Holydramon's injuries. She was happy to see they were not too serious. Close to her, Takeru showed concern for his partner.
"You don't seem well." Takeru muttered. Seraphimon was panting more heavily and had one knee on the ground. Sweat dropped from his face. The wound on his shoulder was turning black.
"I can't die yet… I refuse to die yet!" Seraphimon spoke in a weak voice.
Hikari focused on the angel's wound and information regarding it appeared in her mind. Seraphimon's data was being slowly corrupted by Lilithmon's attack. But Seraphimon was determined to live, in part to spare Takeru from seeing him dying again and mostly so he could make amends to someone he loved. Seraphimon had little time and couldn't afford to waste it in a pointless fight like that.
The girl looked at the other chosen children and their partners, still discussing what to do. Lilithmon's attacks were getting more intense and small cracks began to appear on the bubble's walls. In Hikari's left hand, the necklace with the prism was secured. But for how long?
"I could end this." Hikari whispered, being heard only by Holydramon. Their hopeless situation was making her doubt her early convictions. "I could immobilize Lilithmon and give Seraphimon the chance to talk to his sister. I could guarantee that everybody would be safe. I have that power…"
Holydramon looked into the girl's eyes.
"I know you don't want to do that." The dragon said, in a calm voice. "And you know it too."
"But if I have this power and do nothing, if I let this continue…" Hikari mumbled, starting to cry. "I would be complicit."
"Brute force isn't enough to change a person's mind. You would be helping Seraphimon and your friends, but Lilithmon would still be in despair." Holydramon told her. "I know you can perceive her pain. You wouldn't be satisfied with an outcome that only hurts her more."
"Everybody tried to talk to her and had no result!" Hikari contested, trembling. "What can I do that they couldn't? My power is the only thing that sets me aside from them!"
"No, Hikari." Holydramon denied. "You have a perspective they don't have. Just like Lilithmon is doing now, you also stubbornly refused to listen to people that wanted to help you and tried to shut them by force. You shoved everybody away and suffered alone. Nobody in this place can understand Lilithmon better than you do. Nobody here has as many things in common with her as you do! If you could be saved, Hikari, why can't she?"
Those words sank in Hikari's mind. Holydramon was telling the truth. There was something Hikari could do that could help everybody and wouldn't require the use of force against anyone. Like she had been helped by her partner, the girl could reach out to Lilithmon in a way that nobody else could.
Hikari stood up and told her friends:
"I have an idea that could work. I know it's too much to ask considering what I've done to you before, but could you please trust me to solve this?"
The chosen children exchanged looks. Then, they smiled and nodded.
Houomon took Sora and Wizarmon to the highest level of the mountain, where a huge red door stood in a badly lit corridor. In a closer examination, Sora noticed that the door wasn't really connected to the wall behind it, but was separated from it by a few inches. Many cries and laments could be heard coming from the other side.
"Queen…" Wizarmon spoke first, knocking on the door. "You probably don't remember me…"
"You're that priest that went to serve the Academy." A female voice said in an indifferent tone. "Don't worry, I know all about your devotion to your friend. I won't use that against you."
"You've always been such a kind digimon…" Wizarmon said. "You saved me… I know you have a pure heart! Why are you doing all this, then? There had to be a better way to save Seraphimon's victims-"
"I'm not going to waste my time explaining this again to anyone." Ofanimon interrupted. "If you have a better solution, tell me. If you don't, stand back and don't interfere."
"Excuse me…" Sora said. "I don't know if you're aware of it, but your brother has come back to life. He's coming to see you… to apologize for what he did."
Ofanimon remained in silence for a while, as if pondering what to reply. When she spoke again, her voice was full of thinly-veiled sadness.
"I had hope in him and he became a Demon. He fought my son after vowing not to do it. Then, he went back to being Seraphimon and acted as if, that time, he would really commit to his regrets. He was so desperate to come to see me and cleanse his conscience that he was willing to defeat my daughter in battle, despite claiming he didn't want to fight." Her voice was resentful. "While fighting my daughter, he let himself be gravely injured over a stupid mistake… he never thinks things through and jumps to decisions, his volatility is precisely what turned him into the Bloody Lord, what led him to commit so many crimes. What if I believe that this time, for real, he's changed and then he falls back to his bad habits again? Why should I bother to have hope? When did that ever pay off? I'm tired of making a fool of myself…"
"I know how it feels when people you love let you down… well, nobody I loved committed mass murder, so I might not completely know how you feel…" Sora said, glancing down. "But I do know how hard it is to try not loving someone. Despite my past efforts, that was impossible to me. In the bottom of my heart, I think I never stopped hoping that things could be worked out. In the end, because I opened my heart and was able to forgive, that damaged bond was saved… I'm so glad that I gave it a chance…"
Ofanimon smirked before replying:
"I've observed you kids for a while. I had a good feeling about you. You proved to be more compassionate and accepting than your predecessors. Maybe because of your leadership…"
"My friends are all wonderful people." Sora told her. "We influence and help each other out, but we're not good because we were told to be. We chose to be kind."
"And you think my brother has chosen that as well…" Ofanimon muttered. "Even if that's true, it doesn't matter anymore. His wish to save me is doomed to fail."
"Please, don't say that!" Wizarmon pleaded. "Don't give up on us! We will help you!"
"That's right!" Sora stated. "I've known despair and believed I could never escape it, but my friends didn't give up on me! I am here now because of them!"
"You and your friends should go back to your world or take refuge in the lower levels before I conclude the plan." Ofanimon warned Sora. "Stop wasting your time on me already. Even if I wanted, it's impossible for me to survive Salvation."
"Impossible?" Wizarmon had apprehension in his voice.
"What do you mean?" Sora asked, fearful of the answer.
Ofanimon explained:
"I can't be separated from the souls of the fallen. I've managed to soothe a little of their pain so far, but once the door is open and they all rush to escape this place, they'll tear me apart… and my destroyed data will remain in this pocket dimension forever, unable to be restored."
Lilithmon kept attacking without stopping once. She put everything she had in the dark energy beams and black fire she conjured with her hands. The effort was taking a toll on her; Lilithmon's muscles ached and she had trouble taking air in. For how long would she have to continue? Why couldn't those children give up already?
She saw the little girl with short brown hair crossing the big protective bubble while the other children and digimon observed. That kid was still carrying the necklace in her hand. Lilithmon stopped her attacks, believing that the girl was going to return the key code. That child walked towards her and stopped a few steps away from Lilithmon.
"I am Hikari." The child introduced herself. "I've met and fought different versions of you in my previous lives, but we never had the chance to talk. Could we do that now?"
"I'm not interested in anything you have to say!" Lilithmon roared, firing a dark beam at the girl. However, Hikari protected herself with a pink bubble.
"I have powers you can't understand and the knowledge of the Spirit of the World." Hikari informed. "You can't harm me."
"Spirit of the World?" Lilithmon didn't believe the child. "Are you trying to scare me? I don't care who you are, I'm not afraid of anything!"
"You're lying." Hikari said. "Fear is the reason why you're insisting on this fight."
"I'm not afraid!" Lilithmon shouted, firing multiple beams with both hands. But the girl's bubble resisted.
"You're afraid of the future!" Hikari affirmed. "You're afraid of not being what people expect of you! Of not being what you think you should be! You act as if you don't care about what other people think but you're actually afraid of letting them down! You're afraid of being a failure yourself!"
"SILENCE!" Lilithmon shouted. She didn't have energy left to create new beams, so she began to punch the girl's bubble with her gauntlet, without getting any result. Exhausted, she nearly fell to her knees, but didn't give up on attacking with whatever remaining forces she had. However, that was a futile effort. That girl's words had already found their way into the woman's head.
Hikari was telling her the truth. How could that human understand her so well? Maybe she really was the Spirit of the World. But if that was the case, why did she allow so many tragedies to happen? Why did she act as if she cared about Lilithmon when she clearly didn't care enough about the Digital World?
"If you really are the Spirit of the World, why are you letting this all take place?" Lilithmon inquired. "Why don't you just snap your fingers and fix everything?"
"I've been in this position for less than a day… I really believed that I could do just that. I shut down and hurt my friends and brother because of that conviction." Hikari explained. "But it turns out that I'm not capable of fixing the world by myself. Nor can I force salvation on other people. I wanted to help everyone… I thought I had that duty… but imposing that on myself and shoving everybody away only made me suffer. Nobody can keep on living solely to fulfill obligations. You have to do what would really make you happy. What is that for you, Lilithmon?"
Lilithmon thought about the girl's question. She tried to remember a time when she was happy and believed it to be the period between her Mother finding her and Ofanimon deciding to fight Seraphimon. However, Lilithmon realized that even then she already felt a sense of obligation towards the angel that had rescued her. Despite those being peaceful days and her Mother demanding nothing from her, she still felt indebted to Ofanimon, she still felt worthless compared to her and believed that the best thing she could do with her life was to dedicate it entirely to her Mother.
Piedmon's words came back to haunt her. She had lived for Ofanimon's sake and held back her own growth. Lilithmon had never thought about her own happiness, she had never considered herself apart from Ofanimon. Trying to bury her hurt feelings, wavering from cynicism to unrealistic hopes that things could still get better, she forced herself to stay in that trap and when confronted by a reality where she would have to be queen and wouldn't have Ofanimon anymore, she preferred to destroy herself along with her cage instead of leaving.
There was no guarantee that she would forget Ofanimon after being reborn. What would be the point of giving up in her current life if she couldn't free herself from her emotional dependency on her Mother? She loved Ofanimon deeply, there was no doubt about that. But that love and devotion damaged Lilithmon more than she could comprehend. She couldn't be happy without being free. And she couldn't truly be free without confronting Ofanimon.
Lilithmon took two steps backwards and looked at Seraphimon beyond the protective bubble. It was clear that her precise attack had gravely injured him and that he didn't represent a threat any longer. She probably shouldn't worry about her Mother's safety since Ofanimon had decided to die, but it was impossible to stop caring for her. Maybe if those two siblings talked, the deep wound in Ofanimon's heart would finally heal and she wouldn't want to die any longer. But that was off of Lilithmon's hands.
She decided that she wouldn't act based solely on what was best for Ofanimon.
She chose to stop fighting, for her own sake.
"Hey, tyrant!" Lilithmon called Seraphimon. "Let's go talk to your sister!"
Thank you for the wonderful reviews and all the support.
"The song of love" comes to its conclusion next chapter: Symphony in the sky.