Mailbox hopped as fast as he could.
"OMFG HELP!"
Mr. Salt fell off the table and smashed.
"WTF" screamed Mailbox
Kevin charged through the kitchen door.
"I'm going to turn you into firewood you little shit. I know you ate my Amazon order you greedy fucking tit sucking hoe!"
Mailbox started crying "Kevin, calm down mate!"
Kevin grabbed Mailbox and ran into the garden.
"Mate, Kevin mate! Come on, leave us be, yeah? I didn't eat no Amazon parcel!"
"SHUT THE FUCK UP, MAILBOX!" Kevin threw open the shed door.
Mailbox sobbed as Kevin bought a chainsaw out.
"Goodbye, Mailbox"
"OMG NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
The chainsaw lashed at Mailbox. Splinters and shredded paper flew everywhere.
"Don't fucking mess with Kevin"
Back in the Kitchen Mrs. Pepper called 911.
"Help us! Kevin is on a rampage! He's killed the dog, he's killed my daughter Paprika, and he's killed the mailbox! HELP US!"
The operator sighed "are you on drugs ma'am?"
"No I am not – Hello? Hello?"
A shadow loomed over Mrs. Pepper.
"I pulled out the telephone cable" whispered Kevin.
"Please don't hurt me" cried Mrs. Pepper.
Kevin sighed. Mrs. Pepper shook. Pepper sprinkled out. Kevin sneezed. He looked menacingly at Mrs. Pepper
"oh shit."